Leorio awoke to a light knock on his bedroom door, startled. The once harsh afternoon sunlight transitioned to the orange glow of the evening - which was much easier on his dry, sleep-deprived eyes. Exhaustedly, Leorio dragged himself over to his bedroom door, feeling simultaneously as heavy as lead and as light as air. His parents, who were rightfully concerned after Leorio took three days off school only to shut himself in his room and sleep the entire time, probably came to check on him.
However, opening the door revealed a uniformed-clad Kurapika cradling his backpack straps and wearing a sweet, but reserved, smile the moment he laid eyes on Leorio. His reservation stung, but Leorio needed to atone. And it was difficult to select which reaction to display at seeing his best friend; the boy he purposefully ignored for two weeks, the boy he argued with, the boy whose concerned he so brashly dismissed...and the boy he currently crushed on hard.
Though, he couldn't help but perform a cartoonish double-take at Kurapika, partially in disbelief that everything he currently experienced was real.
"Hi, Leorio. How are you feeling?" He asked considerately, looking delightful with the vibrant orange light leaking through the windows behind him. The illuminated sight before Leorio almost compelled him to shield his eyes.
But Leorio needed to focus to ward off the remnants of the dreams he'd had about Kurapika...which was surprisingly easy. Miraculously, Leorio couldn't remember nor recall a single thing he'd dreamt, though his strong feelings still remained. Leorio relaxed, truly relaxed, for the first time since falling into the routine of becoming fearful when in Kurapika's susceptible presence.
"I'm...feeling much better, actually," Leorio answered, attempting to show off his usual carefree, nonchalant grin now that his mind wasn't a clouded, hazy mess simply making eye contact with Kurapika. Still feeling weak from sleep deprivation, Leorio couldn't be as overt as he would have liked.
"You look better than you did last week, so I'm glad you finally decided to take a few days off school," Kurapika commented, kind smile never leaving his face. God, what a refreshing sight, and refreshing experience, to be talking with his object of desire (obsession)...or rather his friend, without devolving into a mess of a person! Leorio's state of relief must have affected Kurapika, too, who didn't look awkward, or upset, and in fact, began to slacken in his presence.
Just like before.
"Me, too. I think I really needed it," Leorio agreed as he scratched the back of his neck. His memories from Kurapika's confrontation in the classroom until now were filled with grey colourless static, muddying his mind. Driven by just how ashamed his behaviour was to Kurapika, Leorio tried so, so hard to rid himself of the dreams and daydreams which seemed to halt during the day as Leorio attended all of his energy to staying awake. Not recalling if Leorio embarrassed himself at school, or at home, before waking up from his three day sleep made him nervous at the prospect of returning to school like normal. If Kurapika still approached him with fairly positive regard, then he mustn't have been okay. In fact, as wonderful as the effect Kurapika's presence had on Leorio's mood, he couldn't help but be curious. "What're you doing here, anyway?"
"I've tried to call you a couple of times just to check up on you, and you didn't pick up. I just wanted to come over to see if you were okay," Kurapika explained. Attributing missing Kurapika's phone calls to the impossibly deep sleep he'd fallen into, Leorio couldn't deny that forcing himself into a state of prolonged sleep deprivation wasn't a healthy habit; socially, physically, or emotionally. Suddenly sheepish, the blonde glanced down to his hands, fiddling his thumbs nervously. "I apologise for the overreaction as I know you mentioned being so concerned for another man isn't something you like..."
"No, don't apologise!" Leorio quickly intervened to reassure him. From now, Leorio became determined to reinstate their friendship; to make things right between them. "I was fairly out of it that day; feeling ill, sleep-deprived, and extremely guilty for shutting you out. I never should have said that to you because you're my friend, Kurapika. It makes me happy to know that you're looking out for me. God knows that I'd be concerned if you acted the way I did!"
Taken aback by Leorio's sincerity, Kurapika responded with a warm, wide grin. Leorio's heart began to pound in his chest, falling for him so hopelessly hard. The urge to invite Kurapika into his room, his space, their sanctuary almost overpowered Leorio...but without the daydreams teasing what could be, Leorio had no issues repressing himself.
"I understand. I'm pleased that showing my concerns for you wasn't out of place," the smaller boy regarded, relaxing his stature to a more comfortable and comforted state.
"They weren't; really," Leorio promised. Finally smoothing their issues out really brightened Leorio's mood, aside from the sluggishness and dizziness characteristic of oversleeping for several days. Making Kurapika happy was totally worth it even if Kurapika's anger and resentment brewed because of Leorio's idiocy in the first place! "I'm really, really sorry for leading you to think that, though."
"Thank you for apologising. I understand you were ill, but thank you," Kurapika accepted mercifully. His elegant tone weakened Leorio's knees, almost making him buckle to the ground to thank him profusely for his forgiveness. He liked that he could finally look at him without envisioning him naked and beckoning him - or whatever his depraved mind could conjure. Still, it didn't prevent his heart from rapidly beating and feeling the nerves invade his body at the sight of his placid face. Leorio didn't mind liking Kurapika. In reality, he welcomed his newfound feelings, highly regarding them like his new favourite song.
Taking a hesitant plunge, Leorio stepped back from the door frame and opened his door a little wider, invitingly. "Want...to come in and hang out for a bit? If you're not busy, of course," Leorio offered.
"I'd like that. Thank you," Kurapika politely accepted. Shutting the door after Kurapika's entry, Leorio couldn't believe he had the opportunity to befriend somebody as angelic as him! Leorio sat on the bed watching as Kurapika rummaged through his bag and pulled out a moderate stack of papers. "I also brought all the homework you missed. You should catch up as soon as possible."
Leorio's eye twitched. He took that back; his friend was most definitely a devil in disguise.
"Thank you for that, Kurapika," he agonised through gritted teeth.
Kurapika took absolutely no notice of his displeasure, or if he did, then it heavily amused him. "You're welcome," he smiled and took a seat at Leorio's desk.
"If I knew you only wanted to come over to deliver my homework, I wouldn't have opened the door," Leorio grumbled, only half-joking.
"I know you're joking, but I really did want to check on you," Kurapika insisted. In an oddly coy action, his blue eyes slid to the corner of the room to specifically avoid Leorio's disgruntled expression. "But, apart from everything else, I mostly wanted to see you. I missed you at school today."
What a sweet, succour phrase to flow from the blonde's mouth. Those words might have been the shallow truth to Kurapika, but to Leorio, he felt as though the smaller boy wrapped him in a warm and fuzzy scarf, radiating a childish sense of giddiness only he could feel from the inside that directly affected his steadily rising heartbeat. The sight of Kurapika sitting in front of the window blocking the orange light and inadvertently making himself appear so sacred made Leorio dizzy all over again. Practically drunk off the holiness of Kurapika, he wondered if the dirty thoughts slowly creeping into his mind was an act against God, punishable by whatever He saw fit.
As his breath suddenly caught in Leorio's throat, effectively choking him, Leorio realised it was dangerous to keep looking at Kurapika if he continued to appear so magical. Heavily dangerous.
"I should be back on Monday if I take the weekend to recover, too," Leorio assumed, feeling ungainly as the heat rose on his cheeks. He really couldn't stop the embarrassment shining through his body language. Kurapika must have noticed and attributed his blush to his sickness, growing perturbed.
"You're all flushed again. Are you still not feeling well, Leorio?" Kurapika rose from the desk with an expression of maternal concern. Fighting the urge to lean away from Kurapika lest he trigger a powerful fantasy within him, Leorio accepted the back of his cool, albeit not unpleasant, hand pressing against his forehead to assess his burning skin. And judging by his frown, Leorio's temperature was a cause for concern. "You're burning up pretty badly."
"I'm fine," Leorio brushed off his concerns, which appeared to be much less taxing due to the lack of daydreams his mind would succumb to.
"Lie down - I'll get you some water," Kurapika offered as immediately attempted to lead Leorio onto his back and into bed with a much stronger force than Leorio anticipated.
Fed up, Leorio pried his thin wrists away from him, holding his delicate hands within his own to halt him. If momentarily, it worked! "Kurapika, I said I'm fine, you don't need to do anything!" He emphatically declined his smaller friend's persistent offer. It wasn't until Kurapika's hands somewhat relaxed in his grip did Leorio realise they were holding hands for the first time! But...Leorio couldn't bear to pull away from the intoxicating warmth Kurapika's flesh offered. Kurapika's mild scent flowed from his skin and slowly intermingled with everything in his room like thick syrup. Any sweeter or any more seductive may truly swallow Leorio whole.
"Okay, okay; I won't do anything," Kurapika accepted and withdrew his enthusiasm. He seemed to take Leorio's words to heart as he appeared rather embarrassed. "Now I understand what you mean by my tendency to overreact."
"Yeah, I...should probably apologise for that as well. I'm sorry. That was an unnecessarily rude thing to say. You don't overreact; you're just caring," Leorio corrected himself to instead compliment his blonde friend.
"It's alright, Leorio. I've already forgiven you, so you don't have to keep apologising to me," Kurapika urged gently.
"Hurting you, or offending you as I did, is the last thing I wanted," Leorio reasoned for the repeated apologies.
"I'm used to you. You're occasionally brash, but you also really care about others - and me, too. When you mentioned you didn't tell me about your illness because you didn't want me to 'overreact', I imagine that means you didn't want to worry me. You're a good friend, and that's what I like about you," Kurapika smiled. Between his mundane nonchalance, Leorio sensed something deeper, more intimate...something that made his heart throb. But, he purposely refrained from reading too much into Kurapika's words as to not disappoint himself through expectations.
"Hehe...thanks, you're a good friend, too," Leorio mumbled, glancing off to the side. His hands still held Kurapika's, beginning to overheat and sweat the longer they held the tense position. Before he could even begin to dissect Kurapika's oddly suggestive tone of voice, he squeezed his hands to grab his attention once more. Replacing his previously benevolent expression was quite a cold, almost disappointed frown.
"Are you purposefully acting dense? Or are you truly this obtuse?" Kurapika questioned with the cock of his brow. Leorio couldn't help but gulp as the murky, sickly feeling swirled in his stomach the longer he stared at their hands gripping each other. Nevertheless, neither of them initiated to move apart. But, Kurapika surprised him by stepping a little closer, even closer, to close the lonesome distance between the initiative blonde and the hesitant brunette and encroach on his personal space.
The utter intensity in his eyes took Leorio aback - this wasn't a dream, it couldn't be a dream, but everything felt so hazy. "What?" His stunned response left him, bated breath, like it was the last one he'd ever exhale. Without Kurapika's hands holding his own, Leorio predicted he'd collapse against the bed into a pile of useless jelly.
"Do you think I'd say soppy, sentimental crap like, 'I just wanted to see you' or 'I missed you' to just anybody? Or hold just anybody's hands for an uncomfortable amount of time?" Kurapika listed bluntly. His originally light-hearted, friendly tone was abandoned in favour of the rather fervid tone. Each word Kurapika spoke seemed to bludgeon him with great force no matter his mild tone. No pain, nor injury, existed as a result - only rendering him woozy. "You know as well as I do that what I've said to you, and what I'm doing right now, is completely out of character for me. What do you think that suggests?"
Leorio felt completely and utterly singled out, like a teacher calling upon a clueless student who had barely paid attention in class. The question regarding Kurapika's body language terrified Leorio because he may provide an incorrect answer despite his intuition screaming that Kurapika held deeper feelings for him. His trembling, fluttering heart would probably give out if he came to discover he'd misread the situation!
"I'm...not so sure. I've never been good at guessing games," Leorio attempted to joke, but the weak, impish smile he attempted to display fell immediately upon noticing Kurapika's lack of amusement.
"This isn't supposed to be a game, Leorio," the blonde corrected.
Gulping, knowing that despite this not being a game, he wouldn't be victorious. "What is it, then?" Leorio questioned, voice quivering ever so slightly.
"It's how I'm attempting to communicate my feelings towards you," Kurapika revealed with his quiet, whispery voice that created an all but violent chain reaction among every single one of his nerves. Fireworks, like colourful sparks and explosions of hot white, yellow, and red colliding in an inky night sky, erupted from Leorio's nerve impulses, creating goosebumps on his skin, creating chrysalises for butterflies to emerge from and flutter in his stomach, creating a wonderful sense of ease, and relief. There was no mistaking it now, and to top it off, Kurapika continued for more clarification. Without judgement, but with a whole lot of sincerity. "I like you. And I've known you've liked me for a while, too. Can you admit it so we can eradicate the tension?"
"Okay..." Leorio blindly acquiesced, wildly acquiesced, under the prowess of his hypnotic eyes. Part of him believed that this moment was another cruel fabrication his mind created, but he replied honestly, nonetheless. "I like you, Kurapika."
"Mm. I like you, too," Kurapika informed with a low, ardent tone that still didn't shake Leorio's daze. It persisted even as Kurapika slowly leaned down, lips parted expectantly. Dizziness inflicted his being the moment Kurapika's lips lightly brushed over his own before capturing him in a kiss. Everything - every system, function, and organ - came to a screeching halt from the utter absurdity that was Kurapika willingly making the first move and kissing him! And in fact, a pure discovery that melted Leorio's awkwardness, Kurapika's kiss felt exactly how he'd pictured it in his mind! He tasted exactly how he'd imagined, and the tempo his heart raced just as quick as he'd imagined, and most importantly of all, he felt warm, and passionate, and real - something he never thought he'd imagine!
"Holy shit..." Leorio breathed the moment they parted, suddenly becoming energised when Kurapika invited himself to sit on Leorio's lap. Cradling his waist and taking advantage of the position to feel his body properly for the first time, Leorio initiated the second kiss.
Much more magical than the last, his new-found blonde lover melted against him with his arms languidly wrapped around his shoulders, chest pressed against his with such delicate pressure that he threatened to merge with Leorio's body. The feeling of Kurapika's fingers running through his hair, caressing his neck, face, and shoulders, made Leorio wonder how he'd ever lived without the unique touch before now. It also rendered him insecure wondering if the continuous kisses affected Kurapika, too.
It turned out that interpreting his body language wasn't as difficult as Leorio firstly presumed. Neither of them demonstrated particularly extraordinary technique like the virgins they both clearly were, but they worked together so unbelievably well. It was...kind of mind-blowing, if Leorio did say so himself. Never did Leorio think he'd feel the sensation of another person's tepid flesh against his own, slowly heating up with every touch, every kiss, every teasing yet very, very hesitant nibble or lick on the other's bottom lip. Suddenly, Leorio felt foolish for agonising and wallowing in his own pity for as long as he had, especially when this was waiting for him once he crawled out of his own misery.
What made everything even more magical was knowing Kurapika's feelings, and that rewarding feeling felt akin to figuring out an impossible puzzle, or obtaining some sort of secret to the universe.
Kurapika's shirt provided more of a nuisance to Leorio's pursuit to skin-on-skin action, rendering his palm slightly chafed and tingly that would only be soothed by Kurapika's touch. Once used to the deliciously languid, but no less impassioned, kisses, Leorio slowly tugged Kurapika's shirt from its tucked position into his pants more, and more, and more until Leorio's hand found an opening and slipped underneath like an animal burrowing for the winter. Not being able to see his hand, nor Kurapika's expressions, but only feeling his reactions through subtle ticklish twitches every time his fingertip collided with his spine, or relaxing when Leorio lightly traced circles over his shoulder blades, was quite an intense experience.
Never knowing Kurapika as ticklish, Leorio planned to abuse that knowledge! He began by allowing his ticklish touch to migrate along his spine until he'd hit an unbelievably sensitive area (his sweet spot, quickly carved into Leorio's brain) that elicited a shudder and a breathy laugh, making the owner of the sweet spot bury his face in Leorio's neck. A clear sign of defeat; one that Leorio acknowledged with a soft kiss on his cheek, then one on his neck. God, he couldn't stop himself from talking from how utterly overwhelming everything suddenly became.
"You...don't understand what you're doing to me..." Leorio breathlessly announced the moment they pulled apart for air, voice hidden in Kurapika's shoulder, scents intermingling and learning one another. If Leorio were extremely lucky, then the smell of Kurapika's skin would imbed itself into his sheets and he'd be able to embalm himself within those tainted sheets.
"Mm, I'm aware," Kurapika murmured, sitting up properly once again but didn't dare pull away. From here, Leorio had unbridled access to gaze into his eyes - his gorgeous blue eyes. No matter how dizzy the sight made him, some hypnotic or magnetising force kept his gaze on Kurapika.
Leorio truly couldn't stop more words pouring from his throat as naturally as the air he exhaled. "It's more than that. Do you have any idea how I feel about you? Like...how I really and truly feel?" He questioned quietly, glancing between Kurapika's eyes. A small, confused crinkle formed between his eyebrows all but fascinating Leorio because he'd never noticed that emerge from the blonde before. There were perks to talking to one another up close; up intimately close.
"I thought I did - but were my deductions wrong?" Kurapika queried, putting Leorio in a position to hastily affirm that he wasn't wrong, but one hundred percent correct.
"No, of course not! God, you're going to think I'm the worst friend, and an even shittier person. I've been having hyperrealistic, vivid, intense dreams about fucking you for the past month. Even when I'm speaking to you during the day, I get hazy and my mind creates scenarios about the things you'd do to me, and the things I'd do to you," Leorio finally revealed, though the weight in his chest dropped further into his anxious stomach as opposed to lifting completely. "You have no idea how guilty I've felt. I tried so many different methods to try and stop seeing you that way, Kurapika, but I can't; I've literally made myself sick over it."
"...and that's why you've been so distant..." Kurapika assumed quietly. Leorio could barely attend to or dissect his words for their hidden emotions or meanings.
"Yeah. Because every time we did speak, or even remotely thought about you, my mind would confuse reality. It would overlap our conversations and my functioning to the point where I could barely focus without seeing you naked and all but seducing me in my mind," Leorio continued, ruefully retracting one of his hands from Kurapika's body to hide his shameful face. "I'm sorry..."
"I'd be a liar if I claimed I never thought about it, too..." He breathed softly. Kurapika needn't say a single word about the feelings communicated before through lips, and tongue, and each sweet breath of oxygen, but he did, anyway. Sitting up from his position of laying against Leorio's body, Kurapika reapplied his weight onto Leorio's hips. A delicious shiver coursed through Leorio upon contact, but the gratification didn't last long as horror replaced the emotion; simply kissing Kurapika had gotten him hard, a fact that the astute blonde quickly discovered. Kurapika didn't seem to dislike it, in fact, he seemed rather satisfied at his discovery.
Leorio gulped, hands snaking and slithering slowly to rest on Kurapika's hips, and found his eyes unable to tear themselves away from his pants while imagining the reward they hid. Meeting Kurapika's eyes once more, Leorio became enthralled by the impish expression of desire shyly peaking through on Kurapika's face. The blonde was never one to overtly express himself meaning when those small cracks of Kurapika's true expression emerged, they were precious.
And witnessing the rare sight filled Leorio with a sense of possessive pride as nobody was privileged enough to witness this new sight. Both held the knowledge that their mutual confessions now bonded them together on a metaphysical plane that they, and only they, were aware of. Leorio gripped Kurapika's hips to rigidly keep his body stable against him as he rolled them over, assuming the dominant role. Kurapika couldn't help but grin widely, reaching up to cup and caress Leorio's cheek, appearing wonderfully lovingly wild as his blonde touselled hair untamedly fell in all directions on the pillow beneath his head.
A lump rose in Leorio's throat - unbelievably happy - the longer he gazed down at him. His body moved on its own to cover Kurapika's hand with his own hand. This was their connection; their unbreakable chain linked with magic; from hand to hand, from hand to cheek. That...reminded him of a dream he'd most certainly had, but he needn't worry about what his mind could create any longer especially because he'd finally secured the real thing underneath him.
His body's tendency to relegate to a primal, autopilot state among kissing Kurapika while slowly inching off his clothes shocked him. Although, this was nothing compared to how surprised he became at each of Kurapika's willing and enthusiastic responses. Body lifting and undulating to assist in Leorio's greater goal, Kurapika, once again, assumed the role of prey under Leorio's predatory stare. Only this time, he'd caught him, and now he'd feast upon everything his lithe form had to sacrifice.
Time felt as though it flew by in an instant despite the orange sun still burning bright through Leorio's bedroom window just as it did when Kurapika arrived that afternoon. In an instant, with little retained memory in Leorio's clouded mind, he'd managed to undress him, kiss almost every inch of him, and mark his flesh as his own. Leorio caressed with his thumb the few love bites on the back of his neck as lovingly as a creator marvelling at his new invention. Still ticklish, Kurapika buried his face within the pillow under his chin and rocked his hips back, imploring Leorio to finally move on and begin what they'd been building towards for hours!
But he needed to...stop, stop everything for a single moment.
Leorio trembled - absolutely fucking violently trembled - at what he was about to do. Cock aligned with Kurapika's body, with his tight muscles nervously rebelling against his future intrusion, one single thrust forward would entirely sheath himself within him. The room grew hotter and hotter until Leorio partially convinced himself that everything began to melt around them...until Kurapika gazed at him from under his eyelashes over his shoulder. Coyly coquettish for the boy behind him, hazily hidden by his shoulder and ruffled, messed up hair, everything that Kurapika aimed to convey was in his eyes. Leorio's heart, and breath, and anxiety calmed at his expression as though he held the power to momentarily stop time.
Perhaps the smaller boy did possess such great power because it was enough for Leorio to gather his confidence, and his courage, and finally ease himself inside Kurapika. And once he did, he lost all sense of composure and strength - all but collapsing on top of and embracing Kurapika underneath him - and realised he'd probably never want to be anywhere else ever again.
Words erupted from nowhere, and everywhere. Leorio couldn't determine their source either from him or the blonde underneath him (probably both while being consumed by the throes of passion). From within Kurapika's shoulder, every word he spoke sounded like a weak vibration emerging from his chest, but Leorio could feel his emotions resonated through every illegible syllable. Melting body, melting heart, and melting mind, what Kurapika left behind was a warm and wonderful puddle of pure affection for Leorio to hold dearly and tightly and to never let him go.
Introducing the gentle rock of his hips brought fewer vibrations and more sweet puffs of air which gave way to involuntary sighs or moans tumbling from Kurapika's mouth. Leorio's face nestled further in his shoulder, mouth opening to firstly kiss his neck - eventually planning on devouring him whole. So many possibilities generated themselves within the brunette's mind - all involving Kurapika, of course - but his dizzy mind could barely focus on anything but the snug, tight muscles surrounding him. Nothing was more important than this moment as the distinction between their bodies began blurring...ring...ring...ring...
Leorio awoke to the shrill sound of his phone ringing and vibrating on his bedside table, startled. Coupled with the noise coming from his phone the vivid afternoon sun immediately blinded Leorio, overwhelmed him, and left him completely and utterly unable to breathe. Nevertheless, he feebly felt around the surface of his bedside table for his phone until he located it, scooped it up, and brought it to his ear.
"Hell...H-Hello?" Leorio mumbled into the receiver, eyes slipping shut and settled in the momentary calmness.
"Hi, Leorio. It's Kurapika. I wanted to call to check up on you - just to make sure you were recovering okay," the blonde's slightly grainy voice rang through the speaker. As Leorio's eyes snapped open in horror, everything came rushing back to him wave after suffocating wave of nauseating nostalgia. Everything he experienced; Kurapika visiting him in his room, inviting Kurapika inside, lying in bed and getting closer before confessing their feelings, and then... "Am I calling at a bad time? I'm sorry - did I wake you?"
"No! It's not a bad time at all! I'm totally wide awake!" Leorio insisted, pulling himself into a sitting position to jostle his mind awake. A pillow lay against the mattress, dull and flat from Leorio's weight, which shocked him. It wasn't unusual to wake up clinging to a pillow after dreaming of Kurapika, but Leorio couldn't shake the deep-seated disappointment stemming from realising his dream remained a dream and not a wonderful reality. Leorio grazed his fingertips along the pillow, along Kurapika's spine bearing witness to his erotic shiver and sigh, hips angling back to all but beg him for more.
"Ah, okay, good. Are you feeling better, then?" Kurapika asked. His jarring voice jolted Leorio from the sudden flashback to his dream, but Leorio couldn't help but be thankful for the distraction because living this reality after experiencing bliss whilst asleep felt akin to a nightmare.
"Yeah, a lot better. Thanks for checking in," Leorio mentioned gratefully, though unable to fake enthusiasm (which Kurapika attributed to sickness, thank God). An awkward silence settled between them, and Leorio knew he wasn't the only one that felt it. Leorio held a small sliver of hope that perhaps he wasn't dreaming. "What...have you been up to today?"
"School just finished, so I'm heading home," Kurapika informed which put Leorio's suspicions to rest. Unfortunately, everything that occurred between Kurapika and himself - the feelings, the conversations, and the sex - was completely fabricated in his mind like usual. He'd never hated his overactive imagination more. What truly frustrated Leorio was how vivid and real the dream seemed! Sleep deprivation, after all, was a poor attempt at curing his daydreams, and instead having a counterintuitive symptom of hyperrealistic dreams.
So dishearted, and threatening to fall into a dissatisfied depression, Leorio felt like screaming into his pillow until his voice turned hoarse. But, burying his face in any pillow in his vicinity would cause those false memories to be resurfaced, so Leorio focused on their shallow conversation. "Do we, uh...have much homework for this week?" He questioned, slumping back against the wall, rubbing the exhaustion from his face.
"Not particularly. Just a few worksheets for math, textbook readings for history..." Kurapika listed before he chuckled slightly, a humorous, familiar tone etched into his reply. "I know what you're thinking, and don't worry; I won't give you homework while you're still recovering."
"Y-Yeah, thanks for that," Leorio answered, managing quite an easy, but disingenuous, smile despite his misery. Though Kurapika couldn't see his expression, Leorio would try his damndest to not give him anything more to worry about; it would hurt too much.
"And I know it's not my place to say anything, but I'm glad you took a couple of days off. You really needed it," Kurapika commended emphatically. A rush of deja vu paralyzed Leorio, which truly solidified the false reality. "The other day...I didn't realise how ill you were. When I spoke to you, I only thought of myself and how angry I was at you. I really shouldn't have been so harsh towards you, so I'm sorry. "
"I'd be pretty pissed off if I was in your position, Kurapika. I want to clarify that you've done absolutely nothing wrong, and I'm so, so sorry for putting that stress on you," Leorio emphasised, empathetic to his plight. Kurapika didn't deserve to be blaming himself for Leorio's mess - partly because his actions caused the guilt to pile on again.
"Don't dwell on it. I forgave you the moment you explained everything that happened. We all have our bad days, and you were just having a series of consecutive bad days," Kurapika insured, practically hearing the shrug in his voice.
Kurapika didn't have to behave modestly; even if his forgiveness was a bare minimum act, Leorio still appreciated it because Lord knows he didn't deserve it! "I'm lucky to have you," Leorio honoured, genuinely grateful for the blonde.
"That's what friends are for," Kurapika affirmed kindly, succeeding in reassuring Leorio and breaking his heart concurrently. For a moment, his sleepy, groggy mind second-guessed (again, God, when would he stop doing that?) what exactly had occurred. Perhaps, in his borderline intoxicated state, he'd continue to assume that he and Kurapika were actually lovers without the correction. Ah, he'd forgotten everything that had actually transpired for a second...
"Mm, you're right..." Leorio grimaced at the word 'friend', almost losing his composure.
"Anyway, I just got home, and I've got a lot of work to do," Kurapika informed, making Leorio regret not sitting by his window dutifully, like an anxious dog waiting for its owner to come home, to look out for him. "Let me know when you're coming to school next. We can walk together if you'd like?"
"I'd like that," Leorio agreed.
"Great!" Kurapika accepted cheerfully. "Feel better. Maybe I'll see you next week?"
"Yeah; hopefully. See you," Leorio regarded, tapping the 'end call' button as soon as he finished speaking. Vitriol bubbled inside of him which lead him to toss his phone on the ground. He didn't care if he came across as rude; he just needed to get away from Kurapika's kind tone. Even more so, knowing that he'd never be able to experience such raw and tender experiences with Kurapika depressed him. Nothing Leorio could do physically, or say to anybody, would make him feel better because his anger was directed towards himself - towards his mind for concocting such a wonderful simulation only to rip it away from him.
Leorio's disappointment exhausted him even more. Wallowing in his emptiness, he scooped the pillow he'd thought of as Kurapika whilst sleeping up into his arms and fell into a deep and (for the first time) dreamless sleep.
It was hard to remain disappointed for an extended period of time. Leorio dedicated his entire weekend to wallow and discovered that by Sunday afternoon, he felt pretty ridiculous to expend so much useless thought on a made-up scenario. His mind loved to torture him with matters of the heart; that was true, and it had been for a while. So, to say that Leorio's imagination would cross many boundaries to do so was an understatement.
Forcing himself out of bed on Monday morning, bright and early before school, was most certainly exactly what Leorio needed to feel somewhat normal again. And, man, the subtle, but nonetheless radiant and hopelessly elated, smile Kurapika gave him the moment he intercepted the blonde on the way to school rewarded Leorio like nothing else! Leorio recalled how bright and sunny the mild morning appeared, how little wind rustled them, and little anxiety he experienced. This was the kick in the ass Leorio needed to not only repair his friendship with Kurapika, but restabilise himself. All he needed was to rid himself of his guilt and get a good night's sleep for once!
Leorio suddenly slept soundly through the night and managed to stumble through the day, adorning his mask, without feeling disgust, or shame, and with a certain amount of grace Leorio never knew would ever be possible for him. However, Leorio found himself still falling hard for Kurapika but in an...oddly different way. Still attracted to and adoring Kurapika, Leorio's heart ached with a more wholesome feeling, leaving him warm and giddy as opposed to dizzy, and sick, and wanting to abandon his torturous shell of a body. Leorio still found himself plagued by daydreams and haunted by his dreams at night. Somehow, in some special way, they were more bearable to handle.
One major factor of Leorio's daydreams that concerned him was the fact that Kurapika always, without a doubt, initiated everything. Every kiss, every intimate touch, and even the confession all spouted from Kurapika first! The question within Leorio's mind still haunted him; if feelings existed in Kurapika's heart (the real Kurapika), would he make the first move? Leorio decided against it. While internally hopeful, Leorio couldn't help but feel that his own inability to gain confidence and initiate the first move acted as a symptom for something deeper. Perhaps...he secretly feared losing control of himself, of his mind, or his friendship with Kurapika.
One sentiment reigned true, however, and that was that Leorio was ultimately a coward for his inability to be honest to Kurapika, or himself. At this point, Leorio had been dishonest for far too long and decided that he needed to be honest going forward.
One observation that powerfully stuck with Leorio was realising that he'd never been able to continue a conversation with Kurapika in his dreams for as long as he had. Their playfulness, their seriousness, and lastly, but most importantly, and most passionately, their confession were elements never present before. The utterly realistic Kurapika in his imagination, stemming from that one salient dream, had now infected him to become the norm. For hours, and days, butterflies resonated as a result.
This new Kurapika that formed within his mind acted eerily similar to how Kurapika may behave in reality - a little sassy, impossibly reserved, but still a little sweet. Hell, more than a little sweet because Leorio, despite never, ever having the capacity to imagine Kurapika in an intimate setting, let alone impassioned in the slightest, could more easily see that side of him. Kurapika may have been idealised in his mind, but nonetheless, whatever mechanism of his imagination had made him more aligned with his personality.
Surprisingly, Leorio didn't find it difficult to traverse between his mind and reality anymore. No longer did Leorio become agitated, and instead embraced these visions. It was as though his mind rewarded with a glimpse into a different future, or an alternate timeline, where he and Kurapika were proper lovers and he didn't hate it. While Leorio used to gaze at him in class with an overwhelming craving to defile him on every single surface in the classroom, Leorio now wanted nothing more than to saddle their desks together and just...exist together. Bliss would be sitting and listening to his voice utter fond nothings about anything, and everything, without the expectation of more. Maybe he'll daringly attempt to take advantage of their height different and rest his head on Leorio's shoulder...
And when those fantasies did end, Leorio accepted them as fantasies without feeling as horrible as he had been before.
He thought that...because now, he'd fully accepted his feelings for Kurapika without reluctance, or hesitance, which put him at ease. Admittedly, Leorio didn't love these vivid imaginations but rather accepted that as an unwitting side effect of liking Kurapika. It had barely been weeks since the dream that changed everything occurred and it infected him over, and over, and over again badly. He'd relive that dream for the first, second, third, and many more times, until his mind and body ached for this fantasy to actualise into fruition and finally become a part of it.
Gon's sentiments floated around in his head for a while as a result, prompting Leorio to heavily consider writing Kurapika letter detailing everything he felt. Leorio couldn't arrive at a conclusion regarding how much was too much when conveying his feelings. For instance, despite promising to remain honest, surely detailing his explicit dreams and the number of times he'd imagined Kurapika in an intimate state would mortify Kurapika, or perhaps anger him! At the same time, simply scribing his sentiments like 'I like you' or 'I'd like to be with you' felt too shallow. Unable to find a happy medium, Leorio abandoned the gesture altogether into his overflowing waste paper basket.
Leorio decided to see where fate took him, as frustrating as it was, which included the course of his daydreams. For now, he'd just deal with it as it happened, but he couldn't let his guard down too much. Just one long, lingering glance at Kurapika would send his mind into a spin. At school, or in class, or over the phone, Leorio didn't mind it. But in doses, while they were alone, then it would be risky. The couple of weekends he and Kurapika met with Gon and Killua were explicitly hard because Leorio had to upkeep an active persona for the two younger boys. He hated to disappoint Gon especially, so he made an effort in order to reunite everybody again, much to Gon's utter surprise.
And - Leorio had to confess - he thought seeing Gon's spirits lift was more important than preserving his own out of control imagination and affection.
"It feels like it's been ages since we've all hung out together!" Gon exclaimed happily, glancing back at the two high schoolers on the couch while he and Killua occupied the floor. With a controller in each hand, Gon and Killua played a brightly coloured fast-paced video game that Gon had exclaimed the name of so fast that Leorio had forgotten the name. He - and evidently Kurapika, too - were content in watching the two. Leorio couldn't help but grin at Gon's infectious enthusiasm - it was hard for Kurapika to resist, too.
"It was fun when it was just me and Gon, though," Killua added, which didn't surprise Leorio as the pale-haired boy usually accompanied Gon for Gon with no questions nor qualms from anybody. Killua turned back to the TV eagerly. "Let's play another round."
"Sure!" Gon accepted as they began another game.
Leorio rolled his eyes towards the blonde, who simply returned his indifference with a light, mordant smile. Sitting in silence, occasionally making small talk, satisfied Leorio like his ultimate dream had come true, like this moment, right here and right now, was the reward he'd been working towards for his entire life. If Leorio were younger, he'd probably intensely study how Kurapika sat - whether his knees and feet and torso angled towards him, whether his body leaned towards him, whether his eyes quickly glanced to Leorio to witness him laughing at every joke told...or whatever advice websites on the internet had told him - to gauge his unconscious body language. Leorio figured that he knew Kurapika well enough that he'd be able to intuit any possible changes (to which there were none).
But...selfishly, Leorio could allow himself some time to pretend for a small moment. He felt he earned it, and particularly because his mind no longer priorities sexual fantasies, he justified the imagined tender scenarios in his mind. Leorio stretched his arm absentmindedly across the back of the couch only for Kurapika to take this gesture as a grand invitation to slump and snuggle against him. Kurapika's blonde hair brushed against Leorio's cheek, inviting an onslaught of mild fruity smelling shampoo to enter his nose, as he rested his head on Leorio's shoulder.
Leorio desperately, so desperately, wanted to pull him as close as he possibly could just to take pleasure in the warmth his body provided not only externally, but to penetrate deep into his heart. The need overwhelmed Leorio so until his fingers twitched from the conflict between excitement and reluctance sparring within his nerves and influencing his impulses. Once a contented, satisfied sigh exhaled from Kurapika's mouth (which brought a giddy smile to Leorio's face), the brunette felt comfortable enough to sling his arm around him completely.
Kurapika's delight seemed palpable and obvious without studying his face. Pushing the bounds of their romantically intimate position further, Kurapika slung his arm over Leorio's stomach and grew several inches closer! This time, his head completely nuzzled underneath Leorio's nose, prompting him to pepper a few non-committal kisses to his forehead and temple. Everything that sparked between them felt rather calm - a sensation they'd never experienced before. The need to converse was not present, nor was the need to progress further than this. Leorio could barely find the words to describe his feelings towards the blonde, and he hoped that the same feelings were ablaze within
Kurapika! A new high score!" Gon enthusiastically congratulated, ripping Leorio from his reverie. Kurapika had now taken Killua's place on the ground and his controller to play a match with Gon. Leorio immediately sat up straighter on the couch to feign that he'd been engaged and aware of the entirety of the round.
"It is kind of fun, actually. You were right," Kurapika admitted while handing the controller back to Killua. The bookish blonde could only be coaxed by Gon to engage in mundane activities outside of his interests. And admittedly, Leorio liked seeing it, not minding being ripped from his daydreams to witness such a feat.
"Want me to set up a third controller? It's more fun with more people," Gon offered. He was already reaching for the extra controller before Kurapika shook his head and declined.
"No, thank you. I'm going to get water, actually," Kurapika announced, glancing at Killua when he stood from the ground and stretched.
"Me, too," Killua concurred as he already began to make his way to the door.
Considerately, extending his offer to the taller brunette on the couch, whose heart soared enthusiastically the moment his questioning gaze fell upon him, Kurapika cocked an eyebrow. "Leorio? Do you want anything?" He questioned.
"I'm good, thanks," Leorio declined. Kurapika lingered by the door for a split second before returning to the couch and pressing a kiss to Leorio's cheek. Appreciatively, Leorio squeezed the hand that stabilised the blonde on his shoulder before they parted once again, and Kurapika shut the door behind himself with a soft 'click.' Leorio's eyes remained on the shut door, cheeks beginning to ache from how long he held his smile. Only when a small hand nudged his arm did Leorio tear his eyes away from the door, face to face with Gon's overt expression of curiosity. Leorio immediately regarded him with suspicion. "What are you looking at me like that for? Did you want something, too?"
"I noticed that you and Kurapika are talking again, which is great! You both seem a lot happier together. Does that mean you finally talked to him?" Gon queried, evidently ecstatic at the development. Completely unaware that Gon recalled their conversation, and may have been expressively worried about its outcome, updating Gon on any updates or even just making more of an effort to hang out together again once more should have been a priority to Leorio.
"We talked a couple of weeks ago; everything's sorted out now," Leorio reassured. And nothing had made him more overjoyed than affirming that! "Thanks for listening to me the other day, too."
"That's okay! I'm just glad everything's finally back to normal. Though, did you end up writing him a letter?" Gon questioned as though he were hoping his naive advice somewhat assisted Leorio in his issue.
Pretending as though he hadn't agonised for weeks over whether to write Kurapika a letter (while deciding the appropriateness of the content of the letter, which he still wanted to keep a secret from Gon), Leorio let him down easy. "I just couldn't decide what to write, and I managed to sort out my feelings, so I didn't even need to write a little in the first place! But, if I ever have an issue again, I'll definitely think about it," Leorio explained.
"Oh, that's good!" The middle schooler exclaimed nonetheless. Rising from the floor, Gon sat next to Leorio on the couch and laced his hands together in his lap. "I have to admit that it is strange to see my two closest friends dating, but I'll definitely get used to it."
Absent-minded nodding turned into horror, flinching away from Gon as though he were a dangerous, venomous creature. Leorio didn't know how he arrived at that conclusion, but he had a sick feeling it had something to do with a certain white-haired friend of his. "W-Wait, what? Gon, we're not dating!" Leorio corrected hastily. "I never even said anything about liking Kurapika!"
"Well, when you said your feelings weren't something you could say to Kurapika and that they were 'forbidden', Killua assumed that you liked Kurapika and you didn't know how to tell him," Gon recounted, confirming Leorio's suspicions. How mortifying that a middle schooler could easily see through him...but Kurapika (supposedly) couldn't! A slight frown adorned itself on Gon's face who clearly trusted Killua's judgement and looked rather disappointed over his error. "Was Killua wrong? He's usually never wrong about things like this..."
Leorio, remembering his pledge for honesty, fed him some half-truths. He couldn't handle experiencing any more guilt than his fair share in the previous weeks. "No, he wasn't entirely wrong. But that was a few weeks ago now. I just told him that I'd been busy with school and study and he understood; nothing about me liking him. Plus, I don't think Kurapika would feel the same way about me," Leorio reasoned while attempting to suppress the awkward blush that rose to his cheeks. He failed, of course, and glanced away to conceal his loss of nonchalance.
"What are you basing that off of? Unless Kurapika says that he doesn't feel the same way, then there's a possibility that he does," Gon corrected. Listening to the callow, but oddly wise, words from a middle schooler would falsely raise Leorio's hopes. If Gon was aware of some feelings hidden within Kurapika that were only divulged to him, no doubt existed that Gon would help the blonde keep those feelings as secret as a safe combination.
"That's optimistic, and as much as I'd love to believe that, when you've been friends with somebody as long as Kurapika and I have been, you just notice these things," Leorio claimed according to his own opinion.
Completely accepting the taller brunette's point of view with a shrug, Gon sat back down on the ground to grab his controller once again. "From another perspective, Leorio, you shouldn't assume anything, and you really shouldn't give up without trying first," Gon advised.
Just when Leorio thought he knew how to handle his own feelings, and mind, in the conflicting situation he'd been thrust into, Gon had managed to word himself in just the right way to force Leorio to reassess himself. Kurapika and Killua returned shortly thereafter, thus ending their conversation, which allowed the brunette to think properly. What if Gon's words held true meaning that Leorio should follow? That would most certainly mean taking the risk to sacrifice his friendship over some feelings that have a low possibility of being mutual. Would Leorio be prepared for the fallout?
Kurapika's light hand touching his shoulder, squeezing him affectionately, shocked him from his thoughts. "Are you alright?" He asked quietly, shuffling a little closer as though he didn't want Gon and Killua (both of whom were completely and utterly absorbed in their game) to overhear their murmured conversation.
"Ah, yeah, I'm totally fine," Leorio assured in response. "Did you say something?"
"I spoke to Killua when we left the room before. We both know that Killua is Gon's friend, but I get the feeling that he likes having both of us around as well," Kurapika recounted, prompting both of the high schoolers to glance at Killua completely preoccupied with the video game. Unsure of where the assumption stemmed from, Leorio couldn't immediately nor wholeheartedly agree, although, Kurapika probably exchanged words with him that affirmed this.
"That's interesting. With the number of times he purposely mispronounces my name, I would've thought he couldn't care less about us," Leorio concluded satirically.
"I know, right. It's fascinating that we might think we know Killua from the version we created in our minds," Kurapika commented with a light smile. "It just goes to show that you shouldn't really assume to know something about somebody without durable proof, you know?"
Oh, Leorio know. He knew alright, and the fact that Kurapika repeated Gon's previous sentiments made Leorio spiral even more. "Yeah. Yeah, you're...so right about that," he uttered apprehensively, biting his lip.
The universe kept sending him signs, yet, never a definitive answer as to if he should take the plunge. How frustrating, and how tragic.
It was difficult to work up the courage to the point where he felt ready enough to divulge without choking on his words - in the past, and even now. No moment felt right enough to adequately express himself until, after walking home with him that afternoon, he'd lingered, and affectionately watched Kurapika part from him. Gon's words repeated themselves in Leorio's mind like a broken record playing his favourite song. After everything that had happened - all of the avoidance, and the negativity, and one-sided moments that instilled so much joy within Leorio - was confessing to Kurapika and potentially ridding himself of the daydreams with his mutual feelings worth risking their wonderful friendship?
As he watched Kurapika walk down the street, something clicked into place within Leorio's mind, and his heart, and forced his legs to chase after him without his conscious input. Yes, oh God, yes, Leorio had decided. He couldn't continue to fool himself any longer - he needed to know to put his mind to rest!
"Kurapika! Wait!" Leorio called and pursued him to the edge of his doorstep where the blonde waited patiently. He didn't wait for Kurapika to question his sudden outburst and breathlessly quelled his unspoken confusion. "I'm sorry for being so abrupt, but I really need to talk to you about something. Is now a good time?"
"Sure. My parents won't be home until later, so come in," he invited, blissfully unaware of how dangerous his words sounded. Nerves ignited all over Leorio's body, which was hard to shake especially knowing the words he was about to say.
Leorio swallowed thickly at the 'clunk' of Kurapika unlocking his front door. No further words were spoken between them as Kurapika gestured for Leorio to enter the house, unknowingly inviting Leorio's secret desires and infecting a previously untouched area. This space wasn't exposed to Leorio's dirty mind, and now, it wasn't possible to avoid it. Walking through the doorframe was like entering into a sweet-smelling dimension of another world. Kurapika's home always emitted different fragrances thanks to his parents' love of candles and incense. It was comforting, and rather meditative, which calmed Leorio's nerves all at once.
He didn't - couldn't - even wait for Kurapika to lock the door behind him, closing them off from the world surrounding them, and settle after not being home all day before Leorio turned to him, cornering him against the door. Kurapika could have escaped or sidestepped him, but he remained. Curious, and perhaps a little perplexed, and utterly gorgeous in the muted honey glow of the lowlights of his house, the blonde understood the urgency and broke the silence.
"What do you need to talk to me about?" Kurapika questioned softly, glancing between his taller friend's brown eyes.
"It's pretty serious. At any point, if you don't want to hear anymore, tell me to fuck off. The last thing I want is to make you uncomfortable," Leorio insisted with such sincerity that his tone even shocked him.
Kurapika's bemusement deepened, clearly not understanding why Leorio adopted such a serious stature. "I'm...not sure it'll come to that, but-" Kurapika attempted to assure before being interrupted.
"-I have feelings for you, and I've had them for a really long time," Leorio blurted out. Kurapika's face and expression opened with shock, completely and utterly caught off guard. The look on his face should have cut Leorio deeply, or at least set off his anxiety, but because his body felt numbly excited with adrenaline, he didn't give a shit.
"Ah...okay," he breathed as he averted his eyes down towards the ground. Silence persisted between the two for a little longer. Leorio couldn't perceive Kurapika's emotions, but he decided to wait as long as it would take for him to show a reaction no matter if it was negative or positive. Another softer, delicate puff of breath escaped Kurapika, though he didn't utter a word. It was tragically disappointing even though Leorio knew holding expectations was rather wrong.
"Understand now? I'm sorry for springing this on you so suddenly. I know it's weird, especially since..." Leorio muttered with a bitter sigh, scratching the back of his head. Not only had he intruded on his smaller friend's space and home, but he'd ruined his afternoon and possibly the rest of his weekend. Despite a confession truly seeming like the appropriate choice to make, Leorio realised he'd been honest, but selfish by disregarding the fallout from Kurapika's view. Shaking his head, Leorio stepped back to give him some space. "Uh, actually, nevermind. I shouldn't have said anything, right? I'll go-"
"-hold on," Kurapika halted him, and moved forward to keep the shallow distance between them identical. Confusion plagued Leorio this time. "What were you going to say? Please, continue."
"I...was going to say that we've been friends for so long and I've never actually felt this way about another guy before. So, um, I can understand if you're apprehensive about believing me, but I'm being honest," Leorio explained, though not fully understanding why Kurapika insisted he explain. "I shouldn't have kept my feelings for you hidden for so long. Hell, I'd been trying to avoid admitting it to myself, which was quite cowardly of me."
Kurapika hesitated, biting his bottom lip before responding in a quieter tone than Leorio anticipated. "You know, Leorio...if that makes you cowardly, then I'm cowardly, too," Kurapika murmured, his voice barely above a whisper that made Leorio want to move in as close as he could to hear his voice clearly...
...until the subject matter of Kurapika's own confession hit Leorio, minimising his disappointment and restarting his heart like a defibrillator.
"You...what?" Leorio questioned, practically paralysed. "You feel the same?"
"I do. I never told you, either. So...if you're a coward, then so am I," Kurapika confirmed, moving forward another inch. As Leorio was much too tall for him, Kurapika slowly, oh so slowly as though Leorio would be startled by a spontaneous movement, reached up to cup either side of his slack-jawed face of surprise and coax him down to face him. Kurapika felt so...real! So real, and warm, and velvety gently touching him. This experienced all but measured up to nothing Leorio had previously envisioned. This wonderful touch made Leorio's knees weak, but within himself, Leorio inspired just enough strength to hold himself up independently. But, oh man, the look in Kurapika's eyes hypnotised him more than anything else, too!
And, while hypnotised, the spell Leorio found himself under - the spell they both found themselves under - lead them to kiss one another. He'd already engaged in millions upon millions of first kisses with Kurapika in his imagination but nothing compared to this knee-weakening, hand trembling, palm moistening, heart palpitating, head spinning, body tingling, mind rushingly feeling!
The moment their lips collided with a feather-light touch, Leorio found himself overcome with an overwhelming sense of hypervigilance about Kurapika's touch against his exposed flesh, and...with charming nostalgia despite never having kissed before. This is the amorous sensation Leorio's mind previously created whilst the universe selflessly allowed him to relive it but for real this time! At the same time, Leorio was afraid to allow his mind to run wild lest his body act on its own. Grabbing Kurapika, finally touching his body, and his hands, and his face, and his hair, while tasting everything he had to offer might intimidate the blonde which terrified Leorio! So, everything remained shallow, but not any less romantic.
Leorio could feel himself tremble with the thrill of kissing Kurapika, even with the simple, sweet, closed-mouthed kiss. The silence, the warmth, the pressure, the blood rushing through his veins, the dull sensation of hearing Kurapika's heartbeat synchronise with his own...shit, that was something his mind couldn't appropriately imagine.
The kiss didn't last long, sadly, with Kurapika being the first to separate. Because of Leorio's deepest and darkest fantasy finally becoming materialised, he couldn't - or rather, wouldn't - let Kurapika stray too far from his arms. Leorio's hands clasped the smaller hands on either side of his face (as he'd done many, many times in his mind, but had never experienced something so intimately brilliant) to feel the individual bones hidden under the thin skin, so docile, so birdlike.
Panting ever so softly, and feeling Kurapika's slightly laboured breath ghosting over his skin, too, Leorio couldn't bear to open his eyes. Plainly, he was scared. Scared of what he'd see...or didn't see. The magnificent warmth that radiated from Kurapika's forehead resting against his own became much too precious to immediately give up. Everything that Leorio's mind dreamt of in the past could be so tempting, so cruel, which conditioned Leorio to become quick to distrust. Only the raw sound of Kurapika's voice could reassure him.
And it did.
"You're certainly not a coward..." Kurapika murmured in a breathy tone of voice, unbelievably light and aeriform. Only those words could prompt Leorio to slowly open his eyes and relish in Kurapika's gaze.
The blonde didn't offer a smile right away; just the modest twitch of the corners of his lips. Perhaps, his feelings coursed through him from a deeper, more serious place within himself, believing a smile to break the resolute atmosphere. But Kurapika's blue eyes conveyed a famished emptiness that Leorio saw for himself for the first time - that look shook and startled Leorio to his very core, to his bones wrapped in flesh set atingle like a gasoline flame. How powerful, how stunning, and how unbelievably, equivocally, devastatingly beautiful.
How inspired became Leorio to prove to himself (and to the actualised new-found lover he'd teased from Kurapika) that he was most definitely not a coward!
