Thirty-Nine

"It's like this, man – you can stay put, or I can break your legs. What's it gonna be?"

"That your idea o' TLC, Tiggy?" Chibs drawled, from the hospital bed he was being pushed back down on by his VP and with far too much ease for his liking. "Needs work."

Still, he supposed he had just come round from apparently life-saving surgery, so he could maybe cut himself some slack. Or at least he could if he didn't know his girl had just been through hell and was apparently still being treated in some other part of the hospital, making him desperate to go find her and just be there for her. As far as he was concerned, he'd already let her down more than enough for one lifetime.

"I ain't having you overdoing it and keeling over on me," Tig insisted, finally releasing his hold when it seemed he had made his point and Chibs sank back against the plump pillows in defeat. "I will have your back in any fucking thing, brother, but we both know I ain't the one this club needs in charge."

The president, who had taken up the gavel reluctantly enough himself, sighed heavily at that, worry etched on his drawn face. "How's Eden? And I want the truth."

"In one piece," Tig said firmly, trying to shut down any more notions of roaming the hospital to find her. "That's all I know, but that's the main thing for now, ain't it? Look, I know you're gonna want to bring that Rockwell fucker back to life just so you can kill him again, but you need to just focus on healing up and getting the hell outta here. Eden'll be looked after. Knox has gone to find her, let her know you're awake."

"I need to see her for mesel'," Chibs said. "And I don't want her worrying over me. If she ain't allowed in here yet, I need you to make sure she knows I'm all right."

"And are you?" his VP asked sharply, not exactly enjoying yet another reminder of their collective mortality.

Trying to keep a grimace of pain off his face, Chibs subtly pushed the button that would release more pain relief into his system, keeping it hidden by his side. He didn't need them all fretting.

"I'll live," he managed.

"Well, thank Christ for that. Because I may have called Belfast, so someone needs to deal with that banshee wife of yours when she inevitably shows up and it damn sure ain't gonna be me," Tig said, quickly patting Chibs on the shoulder as he delivered that bombshell and then headed for the door. "Doc said I only had a minute. Gotta go."

"Tig!" Chibs tried to protest, groaning both at the flare of discomfort when he tried to sit up again and at the prospect of Fiona showing up right when he was at his weakest and really didn't have the energy for yet another battle of wills. "Son o' a bitch …"


Sat on the edge of the hospital bed she was supposed to be confined to, having been admitted to be kept under observation for at least twenty-four hours, Eden looked down at the pale blue hospital issue gown and robe she was now wearing and sighed. She was a terrible patient, always had been, even as a kid.

The prospect of a night in hospital, even though they'd found her a tiny side room, didn't exactly fill her with joy – especially when she felt horribly out of the loop and was desperate to just go and see for herself that the man who had stolen her heart was in fact alive and recovering. Tough as nails, they'd all said, and she knew it was true. But the club's history told her with horrifying clarity that no one was immortal. Not even, and perhaps especially not, Samcro presidents.

Her hand drifted hesitantly to her stomach, the slightest of curves that only she could notice starting to swell there and now seeming so glaringly obvious that she cursed herself yet again for her obliviousness. Every detail of the last few months now filled her with fresh guilt and left her cold.

She was a medic, so she knew being pregnant didn't immediately turn her into some fragile, helpless waif. But still … She'd drunk herself stupid. Exposed herself to potential risks at work. And that was before she even got to everything that had happened since Mackenzie Rockwell had pulled a gun on her and Desi.

Her mind clamped down hard on those thoughts though, slamming a door on them before the details started to replay in earnest. But one quiet, persistent voice seemed impossible to ignore and made her stomach lurch.

You killed him. You killed him. You killed him.

And it may have been in her head, but it wasn't her voice. No, over and over and over, it was Shane's.


"Knock knock?"

Startled by the voice, Eden's head flew up and her hand left her stomach like she'd been burned, her whole body tense until she realised Lyla had peeked around the door and tried to force a small smile for her.

"Hey, sweetheart," her friend said. "Wasn't sure if you were feeling up to visitors, but I sent Seth and Charlie to clear their heads, so I thought I'd check in …"

"Come in," Eden nodded, gesturing towards the seat not long vacated by Seth. "Any news?"

"Knox just texted to say Chibs is awake and surgery went well – he's on his way to let you know, but since I'm here … Well, now you know. So you're not to worry. He's gonna be okay, Eden."

Taking a deep, shaky breath, Eden leaned back against the pillows and closed her eyes, letting the relief wash over her, fresh tears slipping from beneath her lashes. "Thank god," she whispered. "Oh, thank god."

Full of sympathy for what the other woman was going through, Lyla reached out to pat her arm and then gently pulled her into a hug, rubbing her back soothingly as she started to cry.

"S-sorry," Eden managed finally, pulling away to wipe at her eyes. "I don't know why I'm crying so much. You've been through so much worse. I'm just … all over the place."

"Don't be silly," Lyla scolded lightly. "You've been through hell and you've been worried sick. Of course you're gonna be emotional. But he will be fine. You both will. And then you can focus on putting all this behind you."

But the brunette couldn't seem to keep her face from crumpling again, sparking concern in her visitor.

"Eden? Oh, honey, don't – I know it must have been awful, but it's over. You're safe now."

"I killed someone, Lyla," she whispered, despair in her haunted green eyes.

The former porn star paused at that, but then seemed to steel herself, her hands firm as they gripped the shoulders of the distressed woman in front of her. "Because you had to," she said, giving her a tiny shake. "You hear me? You had to. He would have killed you, Eden. Or Chibs. Or Desi. So you have to get right with this. You defended yourself, protected the man you love. You survived."

"But what if the cops don't see it that way? Chibs wants to say it was him, but with his record …"

"Listen to me," Lyla said firmly. "Tig's been dealing with the cops and you do not have to worry on that score. That Rockwell guy wasn't any cleaner than Samcro – was worse actually, because they know he was behind the whole meth problem. He took hostages. Medics who help people. The cops are looking to draw a line under this whole mess as neatly as they can."

Eden tried to take that all in, but she had so much running through her mind. "They're still going to want to talk to me. What do I tell them? The truth?"

"You tell them what Chibs told you to tell them."

"But-"

"No, Eden, no buts. I know a lot has happened and I dunno where you two are at right now, although it's been more obvious to the rest of us than ever that you love the hell outta each other … But if you're gonna be with Chibs again, there are some things you're just gonna have to trust him on."

"It's not about trust – I don't want him in jail," she protested.

"Honey, that's not something he's ever going to be able to promise you," Lyla sighed. "That risk … It just comes with the life. Eden?"

She blew out a breath, having not told anyone her news as she struggled to get her own head around it and with half a notion that Chibs should hear it first. But it was just too much to deal with alone.

"I … I'm pregnant," she blurted out, before she even fully realised she was going to say anything.

Lyla's eyes widened in shock and she opened her mouth, only to close it again, lost for words.

"But you and Chibs haven't … I mean, when?" she frowned, thoroughly thrown by the unexpected development. "Sorry, I know the details are hardly anyone's business …"

"I'm nearly three months gone," Eden clarified. "I'm pretty sure it was the day we broke up."

"Holy shit," Lyla breathed. "How long have you known?"

"Couple of hours?"

"Wow. Okay. Like you needed that kind of mindfuck right now … So, uh, where's your head at with this?"

"I have no idea," Eden shrugged, wiping at the tears still falling. "It's not something we talked about. It's not something I'd even thought about, not really. And Chibs …"

"What?" Lyla pushed gently.

"You know … He's older. Married. Has a kid already. He might not want this."

Lyla cocked her head on one side, considering. "There's thinking you don't want something when it's not even on the table – doesn't mean you don't feel differently when it's right in front of you," she said. "Can I believe he hasn't thought about having more kids? Sure. Can I believe he'd get on board pretty quick if he finds out it's a reality? Absolutely. He's a good man, Eden. No way he wouldn't step up."

"I guess I just don't want him to feel obligated …"

"Well, he should," Lyla insisted. "You didn't knock yourself up. This is his responsibility too."

"I know, I just mean … I don't want it to be the only thing keeping him around. I don't want him to feel trapped."

"I get it," came the reply, even as a little smile spread over Lyla's face. "But, Eden, that man adores you. I think you just need to tell him – and hey, at least in hospital, they'll have a defibrillator on hand!"

Eden managed a reluctant laugh at that, but still shook her head. "I know you're joking, but I don't think the timing's right. He's literally just out of surgery."

"Might be just the pick-me-up he needs," Lyla shrugged.

"Or it might actually give him a damn heart attack," Eden sighed. "Please don't say anything, Ly – not to anyone. I haven't even told Seth yet."

"Of course I won't say anything. Just … don't keep it a secret too long, okay? Believe me, I know from experience how hard that is and it never does any good."

"Okay," Eden said softly, her hand drifting back to her stomach. "Soon, I promise. Now, do me a favour? Help me sneak outta here. I need to see him and I'm going, with or without you."

"I shoulda known you were trouble, Eden Moore," Lyla sighed. "Come on then. But I'm fully blaming you if your brother loses his shit."

"Sounds fair," Eden shrugged.


Waking with a start, having dozed off again under the influence of all the pain medication and the toll of surgery to repair the stab wound to his abdomen that had apparently nicked his liver, Chibs' gaze fell on the figure sat by his bedside and he reached out, managing a faint smile when she tearfully took his hand.

"Eden," he murmured, taking in the sight of her in a hospital gown and robe. "It's so good to see you, lass, but should you be up and about?"

"I had to see you. I've been so worried," she said, kissing his fingers, before letting them go and allowing him to cup her bruised cheek in his hand.

"Look at you," Chibs sighed, tracing the swelling as gently as he could and with infinite tenderness. "Ah, my poor wee love, I shoulda been there sooner …"

"But you came to find me, that's all that matters," she said, her hand coming to rest on top of his. "I'm okay."

"I know you, darlin', and I know after all the shite that went down, that ain't gonna be the truth …"

Eden considered that for a moment and meeting his warm brown eyes, conceded the point. "I … I keep seeing him. What I did to him. Every time I close my eyes."

"What you did to him?" Chibs frowned. "Eden, sweetheart, what about what he did to you? That bastard only has himself to blame for what went down. It kills me that you had to do that, but only because I knew it would eat at you like this – I'd gi' anything to be able to keep you from that, but I'm so proud o' you. I am. You did what you had to, to protect yoursel', to defend me. You're a fucking warrior, my love, and that piece o' shit ain't worth your tears. Jesus, I need to get out o' this fucking bed and be some fucking use to you …"

That forced her to sniff back her tears and wipe at her eyes again, laying a gentle hand on his chest to stop him in case he really did try to get up. "All I need from you right now is to take it easy and focus on getting better, okay?" she said. "Please. For me."

The worry in her voice proved more effective than anything else at keeping the biker where he was supposed to be, however much he might hate it.

"For you," he conceded, shifting uncomfortably as he lay back against the pillows, his gaze locked on her. "Jesus, I love you, Eden – I dunno what I'd have done if … I've been so fucking stupid, thinking I could gi' you up. Can you ever forgive me for being such a daft aul' bugger?"

"Just don't do it again," she managed at that, with a little laugh through her tears as she leaned in to press a soft kiss to his lips. "I love you. Now, get some rest. We all need you back where you belong."

"Move in wi' me," Chibs said suddenly, catching her off-guard and then cursing himself when he saw the look on her face. "Shite, sorry. Too much? Too soon? I know I ain't exactly much o' a catch right now and I swear I ain't just trying to bag mesel' my own private nurse …"

"Uh, you just … took me by surprise is all," Eden said. "I mean, we never really got round to living together even before. Not properly. I don't think me keeping a few things at the clubhouse really counts."

"I guess I just maybe had a bit o' a wake-up call," Chibs admitted, reaching out to take her hand again and frowning when he noticed the bruising and grazes on her fingers. "Life's too fucking short to waste. I know I don't deserve you, but … No more o' this half in, half out shite. I want you wi' me, by my side. I know my life ain't easy and my past complicates it for both o' us. But you're all I want, lass. Just you."

She smiled shakily at that, something clearly on her mind and on the tip of her tongue, only for it to seem to be pushed aside. "Let's just get you back on your feet first, huh?" she said softly. "Do you need anything?"

Chibs suspected he should push to find out exactly what was going on with her, but part of him was afraid of what he might hear and part of him had to admit he just didn't have the strength yet. But he would, and sooner rather than later. Or so he hoped. He hated feeling weak when he sensed his girl needed him more than she was admitting.

"Wee cuddle'd be nice?" he suggested hopefully.

That drew a small smile, one that seemed to at least chase some of the shadows from her too-pale face.

"I meant like water, maybe some more meds," Eden half scolded. "You'll get me in trouble with the nurses and I don't want to hurt you."

"The only thing you're hurting right now, love, is my pride. The day I can't handle a wee cuddle from a beautiful lass is the day they might as well put me in a goddamn box and shut the lid."

Relenting in the face of that longing gaze, Eden moved to slip onto the bed with him, curling carefully into his uninjured side and laying her head on his chest, fighting back tears of sheer relief as the biker wrapped an arm around her waist and let his other hand gently stroke her hair.

"There now," Chibs murmured, with a little contented sigh. "That's better, isn't it?"

Too emotional to trust herself to speak, she just nodded and let him hold her close, her eyes closing as she tried to push everything else out of her mind in favour of making the most of the stolen moment together.