Forty-Four
"Mary, mother o' Christ," Chibs managed, sitting down heavily on the nearest chair.
"No – Eden, mother of … your … your child," she said, with a forced lightness she didn't feel. Trying desperately not to let herself crumple into tears and cursing the hormones that already seemed to be making her more emotionally fragile than she liked, she tried to explain, conscious that she was already rambling. "I'm sorry, I know it's not something we'd talked about, and it's probably too soon, and you maybe don't even want this …"
He looked up at that and Eden was shocked to see his eyes were damp with tears too, before he dashed a hand across them.
"How long have you known?" he asked quietly.
She looked at him pleadingly, guilt written over her pale face.
"How long?"
"N-not the whole time. Only s-since the hospital. I just … I mean, I tried …"
"C'mere to me."
"Filip," she started, even though she didn't really have a clue where to begin to find the words to explain.
"C'mere," he insisted, not waiting for her to move, but instead climbing to his feet and slowly crossing the space between them, frowning to see her practically trembling. "Were you worrying about telling me?"
Eden took a breath and dipped her head in a tiny nod, even as he seemed to drink in the sight of her and his strong hands slipped to her hips, his thumbs grazing over stomach.
"A baby," the Scotsman murmured, his voice low and rough with raw emotion. "I never thought … Ah, Eden, my love – a wee baby …"
Her eyes widened, tears spilling down her cheeks. "You're … You're okay with this?"
He stared at her. "Am I okay wi' my beautiful girl telling me she's carrying my baby? Am I okay wi' my beautiful, beautiful girl making me a daddy again?" he demanded, a little grin tugging at his lips as he coaxed a smile from her between fresh tears. "Lemme think … Aye, lass, I'm okay wi' it."
Half laughing, half crying, Eden threw her arms tight around Chibs' neck and he lifted her right off her feet with his warm embrace, keeping an arm wrapped securely around her when he set her back down and tilted her lips up to his to claim them in kiss after tender kiss.
"Jesus, love, you don't half know how to drop a bombshell on a man."
"I was so scared you'd be horrified," she confessed, finding herself looking up into warm brown eyes full of everything she had longed to see there and more, letting him brush tears from her face with gentle fingers.
"Horrified?" Chibs echoed, a frown crossing his scarred face. "How in the blue fuck could I be horrified? I mean, don't get me wrong, part o' me's fairly scared shitless right now. But even if it makes me a bloody selfish bastard … I want this. Jesus, how I want this, Eden. I swear I'll never push you away again, my darlin'. Never. Oh, pet, don't cry …"
"I'm so s-sorry," Eden whispered, through yet more tears. "I should have told you sooner and then Fiona wouldn't have found out like that – I've made everything w-worse!"
"Hey, hush now," the biker soothed, not wanting her to go through any more upset than she had already, especially in her condition. "That's enough o' that, lass. No more tears on that pretty wee face. You're my only concern right now, you hear me? You and this wee one. I love you."
"I love you too," she sniffed, as he scooped her up bridal style and moved to settle on his chair at the head of the table with her on his lap. "Filip!" she protested. "You're supposed to be taking it easy!"
"Gotta take care of my girl," he shrugged, tucking a lock of hair behind her ear. "Especially since I went and knocked her up."
"Smug, much?" she teased, managing a smile for him, one arm settling around his shoulders and the fingertips of her free hand scratching gently through his beard as she leaned in to kiss him again, her forehead resting against his.
"Little bit," Chibs confessed, with a grin. "Sorry, baby, guess ya gotta give yer aul' man his moment here. Ain't every day he finds out he's gonna be a da."
"Are you going to be like this the whole nine months? Well, six now …"
"Proud as fuckin' punch? You bet yer sweet wee arse."
"What about Fiona?"
"You let me worry about that," he sighed, dropping another kiss on her lips before freezing as a thought struck him. "Oh, shit, Eden - three months ... I went and knocked you up and then walked out on you, didn't I? I'm so fucking sorry, my love."
"Well, it wasn't exactly like that," she said, not wanting to hold it over his head when she could see how badly he felt about the inevitable maths behind her news. "It's not like you knew. Neither of us did."
"Coulda been a damn sight more careful though," Chibs muttered, before the guilty look on his face only shifted into near anguish as the full implications of her news came crashing down on him. "Jesus, when that bastard … Oh, darlin', when he took you …"
"I know," she said, fighting back tears again, the same thoughts having raced through her mind a thousand times. But she caught his distraught face in her hands to make him look at her. "But it's okay. The baby's okay, I promise."
"You're sure?"
Eden nodded, letting his hands slide to her stomach again and covering them with her own. "Guess this little one's strong, like its daddy," she managed softly.
"Like its mum," Chibs corrected, kissing her tenderly. "Like its gorgeous mum."
For as long as he could, the Samcro president just focused on his old lady and trying to get his head around the news she had given him, keeping her cuddled up on his lap and holding her close.
Finally though, he had to reluctantly make a move, pressing a lingering kiss to her temple first.
"We've got a lot to talk about, sweetheart," he murmured. "But if we stay in here much longer, the lads'll start thinking you've done me in. Plus, I should probably go see if Fiona's cooled down."
"You will tell her I'm genuinely sorry she found out like that? I really didn't mean for that to happen," Eden said anxiously, as she slipped off his lap. "I mean, I wasn't exactly expecting us to be best friends, but it'd be a really shitty move to spring something like this on her like that deliberately."
"I'll tell her," Chibs nodded. "Don't you go worrying any more about it, lass. Now, speaking o' telling people, who else knows? Seth? Desi? Charlie maybe? It's okay if they do – I'd rather know you had someone for support these last few days …"
Eden shook her head. "No, none of them. Just Lyla. She came to see me in the hospital just after I found out and when I still didn't know if you were going to be okay and it just came out. I made her promise not to say anything until I could process it myself."
"Oh, love," Chibs sighed, hating the thought of all the added stress she'd been put under and pulling her back into his arms for a warm, protective hug.
"I need to tell Seth before we tell anyone else," she said, laying her head on his chest and closing her eyes at the thought. "I don't think he'll take it too well."
"Knocking up his baby sister? Nah, I don't imagine he will," the biker said wryly. "Can't say as I blame him either. You put that out o' your head too though, love. I'm a big boy – I can make things right wi' Seth. Make sure he knows I'm gonna step up here, take care o' what's mine. But … well, one hurdle at a time, eh?"
As suspected, Fiona had clearly decided not to let him off the hook that easily, still pacing in the yard by the time he had sent Eden off to chill out in his room and tasked Charlie with taking her a cup of tea. Chibs, having psyched himself up for round two of their confrontation, could practically feel the anger pulsating off his estranged wife before he even got close.
"All we've been through and that's how you let me find out you're playing happy families wi' some … some …" Fiona floundered for the right word, having rounded on him as soon as she laid eyes on him approaching.
"Can you keep your bloody voice down please?" he tried, holding his hands up in surrender, relieved the rest of his club had wisely decided to stay inside and well clear. "Look, for what it's worth, I had no fucking idea mesel'. If I had, do you really think I'm that much o' a bastard? That ain't how I'd want you to find out. It ain't exactly how Eden wanted either o' us to find out – the wee lass was in bits!"
The Irishwoman scoffed at that. "I'm sure sparing my feelings was top o' her list o' priorities …" she said, her words laced with sarcasm.
"Look, Fi, I know she's younger," Chibs sighed. "But she ain't some daft tart wi' a head full o' wee sweetie mice. She ain't in this for … I dunno, the thrill o' chasing after a married man, getting one over on his wife or some shite like that. She didn't even know about you when we first got together and when I told her … I was the one convincing her she weren't getting in the middle o' anything. You wanna blame someone, blame me."
"Oh, believe me, I do," came the scowl. "How could you be so bloody irresponsible, Filip? I thought you might at least have learned something from our experience! A baby, at your age …"
"I ain't quite a fucking geriatric yet, you know," he muttered.
"How long have you even been together, you and this … Emma?"
"Eden," he corrected. "Ah … a wee while. It's complicated."
"I don't think you need to tell your wife that," Fiona said snarkily. "Jesus, Filip. What am I going to do wi' you?"
"I'm guessing it's not cut me some bloody slack while me head's still fucking reeling?" he tried, sitting down on top of the picnic table with a heavy sigh and fishing for his smokes. "Christ … Would you sit down and quit pacing about like that? You're gonna gi' me a crick in me neck on top o' everything else."
With a dark glare, Fiona relented, falling silent for a long moment as she leaned against the edge of the table beside him.
"You really didn't know?"
"Nope," he confirmed, with a pop on the p, before shooting her a little sidelong glance. "It's only a heart attack if it's shooting pains, right?"
She side-eyed him back, the hint of a smile quirking her lips before it disappeared again. It hadn't escaped her notice that he was no longer wearing his wedding ring, not that she could say much when she hadn't worn hers in years. But while Jimmy had never liked to see hers on her finger, she knew that Chibs had long-since taken to wearing his heavy gold Celtic band on the wrong hand, like it was just another of his collection that served as legal knuckle-dusters of sorts. He always had been the sentimental type, but no longer it seemed.
"You're in love wi' her."
It wasn't a question, but Chibs nodded anyway, after a pause to consider, not his answer, but whether sharing it with his wife was the wisest of moves. In the end, he decided there had been too many secrets already.
"Aye," he said quietly. "I am. She's a good girl, Fi. Deserves better than the likes o' me."
"Sure don't we all?" she said wryly. "Are you planning to marry her?"
Chibs stared out across the horizon as he took a drag of his cigarette and exhaled slowly, before passing the butt over to her. "Aye, I was thinking I might," he said finally. "Someday. If she'll have me. If you'll let me."
"So you do need my permission after all …" she noted.
"If you wanna call it that," he shrugged, shooting her another little sidelong glance. "Maybe this can be a fresh start for both o' us."
Fiona snorted dismissively at that. "I don't think there'll be too many babies in my future, Filip, do you?"
He supposed not. "Funny, I always half thought you'd turn up here someday wi' a kid o' Jimmy's in tow," he confessed.
"Neither o' us were exactly the parental type. I love Kerrianne more than anything in this godforsaken world, but you know she wasn't exactly part o' the grand plan," she said, taking another puff or two of his cigarette and then holding it up in front of him before stubbing it out on the tabletop. "You're gonna have to pack these in, you know. At least around the girl. And no wetting the baby's head before its even born, drinking Jameson wi' the boys 'til all hours every night while she's stuck wi' water. I'm not having anyone thinking you learned to get away wi' behaviour like that on my watch."
"Heaven forbid," Chibs said, rolling his eyes with a little grin, before he turned sober again. "I don't want Kerri hearing this from anyone but me, okay?"
"I'm not going to lie to my own daughter, Filip."
"I'm not asking you to lie, I'm asking you not to say anything until I've had a chance to get me own head round this and then I'll be the one to tell her."
"And if she asks?"
"Just how bloody likely is she to ask if her da's knocked up his girlfriend lately?"
"She could ask how you are …"
"And there's a hell o' a long way to go from recovering nicely to expecting a baby!" he declared in exasperation. "For Jesus' sake, Fi, gi' me a break here, will ya?"
"Fine," she sighed. "I won't say anything. But on your head be it."
