'Twas brillig, as someone or other used to say, with slithy toves going about their business this way or that, which meant that Jeeves was in the kitchen. I find it hard to believe that a tea-maker like Jeeves, one of the best and brightest suppliers of the stuff, only takes half an hour to get the young master's afternoon cup ready, but he assures me it is so.
I was idly leafing through a tale of crime and suspense, and whistling a tune that I'd got from Rockemettler Todd. While old Rocky is not by any stretch of the phrase a follower of the latest fashions, he had managed to get a hold of this air a good three weeks before anyone else had, and a dashed good tune it was. One of those sea shanty things, don't you know, all about whales and ships. I was repeating the chorus a third time when Jeeves materialized, bearing tea.
"Ah, Jeeves! The sugar and tea, I presume. No rum, though, I fancy."
"Quite so, sir."
"Odd assortment of things to wait for, I should say."
He poured the tea with the grace of a master in the art.
"I fancy the crew of the ship had been waiting for some time, sir. The tea and rum were, perhaps, not meant to be taken together."
I took a biscuit.
"A what-d'ye-call-it, then, that they should run out at the same time?" "A coincidence, sir." Jeeves always seems to know exactly the word I can't remember. The man has the memory of an elephant who enjoys regular dinners of fish.
"Exactly. Thank you, Jeeves. And while you're here – can you enlighten me on the matter of the 'tonguein' as mentioned in the chorus?"
"I believe it refers to the butchering of the whale, once hunted, sir."
"Rum chappies, those whalers."
"Indeed, sir."
"One does feel for them, waiting for their tea and such."
"Yes, sir."
"And, in fact, one feels for the whale as well."
"A most confusing emotional state, sir."
"True, true," I said, with what might be described as a knowing sigh. "Well, then, you've brought the tea, so I suppose my own tonguein' is done, eh, Jeeves?"
The corner of his mouth flickered in appreciation of my wit. "Very good, sir. Will that be all, sir?"
"Yes, thank you, Jeeves."
An inspiration struck me as he turned to glide out of the room. "I say, Jeeves! Wait!"
"Yes, sir?"
The tune had put me in a rather nautical mood. "Jeeves, what would you say to a mariner's cap?"
To one with a lesser knowledge of Jeeves, his face would have betrayed no emotion. I, however, distinctly saw a shudder.
"I think not, sir."
"A pity. But I trust your knowledge, Jeeves. Very well. That will be all!"
"Very good, sir."
Notes: This one was also originally published over on AO3.
This happened when I was cleaning and "Wellerman" came on on my YouTube autoplay. I thought this might be too silly, but then I thought of the sentence, "Rummy chaps, these whalers," and I couldn't resist. I know this meme is about six months out of date, but it still made me laugh.
Of course the Jeeves stories are kinda-sorta set in the 20s/30s, but that didn't stop P. G. Wodehouse from referencing current trends, and it won't stop me.
And we all know that Bertie would be whistling "Wellerman" in the bath.
For the full experience, look up Scott Bradlee's Wellerman ragtime cover on YouTube.
