Fifty-Five
"How in the hell are you still fitting in your jeans?" Lyla demanded, the second Eden walked into the clubhouse behind Chibs and Kerrianne. "You look gorgeous, but I'm just saying, I'd hate you if you weren't my friend."
"Promise you won't laugh?" Eden warned, before glancing around to check no one was paying attention to them, pulling Lyla into a quiet corner before lifting up the hem of the floaty white top she was wearing under her favourite black leather jacket to give her a quick peek.
"What the …?"
"Filip had to help me use a hair tie to fasten them 'cause I couldn't do up the button," Eden sighed, having all but given up on finding anything suitable in her wardrobe after a lot of agonising over what to wear to the clubhouse for what was now both Kerrianne's welcome party and her and Chibs' impromptu engagement bash. In the end, she'd settled for the simple outfit, straightened her hair, and hoped adding her leopard print heels, winged eyeliner and a slick of red lipstick would give it the lift it needed. She wasn't usually that fussed about what the club hangers-on thought, but she didn't particularly like the thought of giving any croweaters the chance to sneer that the Samcro president could do better.
Lyla fought to keep a straight face as promised at the sight of her friend's unbuttoned jeans straining over her little baby bump and being kept in place by a hair tie looped through the buttonhole and around the button. Then she gave in and dissolved into laughter.
"Bitch," Eden pouted, but there was a twinkle in her green eyes.
"Sorry, babe," Lyla said, trying to rein it in and failing miserably. "You just better be careful or you'll have someone's eye out if that busts open! Sorry, sorry – listen, don't worry, we'll go shopping tomorrow and get you some cute maternity clothes. You can't be more than like a week away from properly popping out and that just ain't gonna cut it."
"I bet you fit in the same jeans the whole way through your pregnancy with Piper," Eden grumbled, letting the blonde link her arm through hers and guide her towards the bar.
"Yeah," Lyla admitted. "But then I wasn't eating because I was trying to hide the fact I was pregnant in the first place from his dad, so … yeah, don't go down that route. Not that you have to worry with Chibs. I've literally never seen that man so happy and I just know he's gonna love it once you start really showing."
Sensing that her friend didn't want to dwell too long on her own past, Eden let her turn the conversation back on her and smiled as she watched her old man in the thick of his brothers, still always seeming aware of her presence while laughing and joking and getting slapped on the back as they congratulated him.
"Yeah," she said softly. "I think I struck gold with that one … Oh, hey, Charlie – uh, what's this?"
"That," the prospect beamed proudly, handing her a tall glass of something that looked deep pink, refreshing, and utterly out of place in the clubhouse, topped with a slice of lime, blueberries skewered on a cocktail stick, a little paper umbrella and a straw. "Is a blueberry mojito. I watched a YouTube video and learned how to make them for you and Kerri – they're virgin blueberry mojitos."
"Is that 'cause they were made by a virgin?" Tig leaned over his shoulder to chip in, before smacking him on the ass and walking off laughing, clearly satisfied that his work was done – having made the prospect blush to the tips of his ears.
"I'm not … I just … Asshole," Charlie mumbled, trying to brush off the teasing. "I can make you something else if you don't like it, Eden, but I just thought it'd be something different and it said on the internet blueberries are a superfood, so they're, like, really good for you and the baby."
"It is really good!" Kerrianne piped up, already sipping hers through her straw as she perched on a stool at the bar, trying not to stare around too obviously as she surveyed the packed clubhouse.
"Well then, I'm gonna have to try it, aren't I?" Eden smiled, glad to see the teenager looking happier and slipping an arm around Charlie to give him a little squeeze before taking her drink. "You're the sweetest, Charlie, thank you."
"Welcome," he grinned. "Hope you're hungry too, 'cause TO's firing up the grill in the yard and Vee and Bonnie brought a ton of food on top of what Ly organised."
"You're gonna need a bigger hair tie," Lyla whispered, getting a mock evil eye in response, just before they were interrupted by a shrill whistle that cut above even the music and chatter, hushing the gathered crowd.
"Hey, listen up, listen up!" Tig hollered, shouldering his way to a prominent spot and dragging Chibs with him. "Okay, listen, normally I'd leave it to our president here to make the speeches, but since this is all more or less for his ass in the first place, I just wanna say a few words. First of all, we have to properly welcome his little girl Kerrianne – Kerri, where are you, baby? Ah, there we go, sitting at the bar. Chip off the old block, huh? Kerri, we're so glad you're here, sweetheart. Even if we can't quite believe this asshole right here had a hand in making something so beautiful, ain't that right?"
The VP broke off to look round at his laughing and cheering brothers, even as Chibs rolled his eyes and took the jokes at his expense in good humour.
"Speaking of things we can't believe, turns out he's gonna have another go at turning out a gorgeous kiddie and, boy, is he punching above his weight with the girl who's brave enough to agree to make an honest man of him. Eden? Eden, come on over here, beautiful …"
"Oh god," she whispered, reluctantly trying to hand her drink off to Lyla so she could join him.
"Bring it with ya, baby," Tig called, waving her over, impatient in his enthusiasm. "Come on, atta girl, don't be shy – you're among family … Here she is."
Her cheeks flushed at being thrown into the proverbial spotlight, Eden accepted a warm kiss on the cheek from Tig before taking her place beside Chibs, her fingers automatically seeking his out and discretely curling around them as he shot her a smile and a little wink that still had the power to make her stomach flutter.
"Jesus, blueberries?" her old man noted in amusement, nodding his head towards her drink. "Make the most o' that, darlin, 'cause it might just be the healthiest thing to ever grace this place."
"Ladies, gents, and all you other bastards, raise your drinks," Tig shouted. "And let's hear it for the president of Samcro and his queen – to Chibs and Eden!"
"Chibs and Eden!" came the roar.
"Has anyone seen Chibs and Eden? This is meant to be their party," Lyla fussed hours later, looking around for the couple as she tried to keep a handle on everything and make sure everything went smoothly. "Well, theirs and Kerri's. Where the hell are they?"
"If I had to guess," Tig drawled lazily, from where he'd commandeered a couch to sprawl on his back, full of food and with his head resting in Venus' lap as she chatted casually with Flick and some of the Red Woody girls. "I'd say holed up in a dorm, banging like a barn door in a force ten gale."
"Alexander…" Venus frowned, cutting in to show her feigned disapproval, even though amusement threatened to spoil the effect as she tapped him lightly on the nose. "A shred of decorum, if you please."
"Sorry, baby, but ya ain't gonna tell me I'm wrong," he grinned, remorseless. "Ain't gonna take much to get that knocked-up little motor running, plus they've got the kid staying at theirs and now Eden's taking off soon to visit her mom – gotta get your kicks while you can, believe me. Ain't that right, Ly?"
Looking at him sharply, Lyla's eyes narrowed in thinly veiled suspicion. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing," he shrugged, but the knowing little smile on his face was sly and they both knew it.
"You're such a stirrer, Trager," she muttered, before flouncing off, waiting only long enough to be sure the VP was no longer watching before marching up one of his brothers and glaring at him. "You, outside. Now."
"What the hell'd I do now?" Knox asked, as soon as he'd been trailed out round a quiet corner out the back of the clubhouse, out of sight and earshot of the rest of the revellers.
"Does Tig know?" Lyla demanded, blue eyes blazing.
"Does Tig know what?"
"About us, dumbass!"
"Us? Darlin', you were very clear there is no us …" the Rogue River sergeant drawled, as he leaned back against the wall.
"Then why would he- Ugh, never mind," she snapped.
"Listen, Ly, if Tig knows or at least suspects, it ain't through anything I've done."
Lyla looked at him, taken aback at that and her pointed glare clearly suggesting he should elaborate. A little smirk tugged at the handsome biker's lips though, even as her eyes narrowed dangerously.
"Tig's sharp," Knox shrugged. "Gotta be, all those years as SAA to Clay. He ain't blind. And you, sweetheart, can't keep your eyes off me."
Those blue eyes widened, outrage crossing the little blonde's face. "As if!"
But Knox only chuckled at the response. "Deny it all ya like, but I got eyes too, ya know."
"You need to get them checked then!" she responded hotly. "And if that's what you think you saw – and you're wrong – then you must be looking at me!"
"Difference is, baby girl …" he started, deliberately letting his gaze rake over her from head to toe, lingering on her slender curves with a slow smile. "I ain't gonna deny it."
Lyla flushed under his blatant appraisal, crossing her arms over her chest and trying not to sound flustered. "Well … Well, stop it then."
"Yeah?" the biker said coolly, pushing away from the wall to close in on her. "That really what you want?"
"Ye-Yes," she managed, trying to back away from him, only to end up twisted around and now with her back to the wall. Literally and figuratively.
"I'm getting real tired of playing, Lyla. If you tell me to stop, I'm gonna stop," he warned, his hands braced on either side of her head as he leaned in tantalisingly close. "Do you want me to stop?"
She glared up at him defiantly, taking in the knowing curl of his lips, those eyes – a deeper blue than her own – that seemed to burn into her, that stray lock of jet-black hair her fingers itched to reach up for.
"Ly …"
But before he could say another word, her hand shot out to grab the back of his head and bring his mouth crashing down on her in a hungry, almost desperate kiss.
"Does this mean—"
"Shut up, Knox," Lyla managed, mumbling against his lips.
"Aidan," he corrected breathlessly, his hands gripping her hips to boost her up easily and let her legs wrap around his waist. "If you're gonna fuck me, you can at least call me by my first name …"
"Shut up, Aidan."
Tucked away in one of the rooms behind the bar, the music and noise of the party drifted through from the main part of the clubhouse but, instead of actually intruding, it somehow only seemed to create a sense of privacy – a sense that out there, life was simply continuing oblivious.
Chibs, having sidled up to Eden as she chatted with Bug and his wife, had given his old lady's ass a cheeky little squeeze as he stole a kiss and murmured in her ear for her to join him when she could get away. But that had clearly been easier said than done.
He could picture her, all smiles and with a few words for everyone who stopped her to congratulate her on the engagement, the baby or both. He didn't mind. Far from it. He loved that she had fitted into his world the way she had. That his brothers, his club family had accepted her with ease. And he was relieved that even the less-than-ideal situation with Kerrianne seemed to be slowly resolving itself.
So he was happy to wait. To take a few moments to just sink down on the edge of the bed and consider how his life had changed over the last while. He knew he had so much to be thankful for.
But that didn't mean his losses had been pushed completely out of his mind.
In fact, in some ways, everything he had gained only added a fresh sharpness to the weight of past tragedies.
He raked a hand through his greying hair, listening to the usual sounds of the clubhouse and trying to focus on the here and now. But it was all too easy to let his mind wander. To imagine things as they could have been, had things worked out differently at every cross in the road.
Day after day, he tried to keep it all bottled up as much as he could. As much as any man could. He had a club to lead, an old lady to care for – a gorgeous, incredible woman he didn't know what he'd done to deserve – a daughter to build bridges with, and a baby on the way. A chance to be a father again, to both of his kids and, this time, to get it right.
Maybe that was why his emotions were getting the better of him. So much had been taken from him, but he still had more than he could ever have imagined.
Chibs forced himself to his feet, pacing the room as he tried to get a hold of himself. He didn't want Eden to see him like this. Not now. She was happy. She deserved that. He was happy, for fuck's sake. He just …
"Filip?"
Standing by the door, Eden realised her old man hadn't even heard it open and, when he turned at the sound of her voice, she could see why. The sight of so much pain etched over his scarred face made her stomach lurch and, before she could even think about it, she was across the room and simply wrapping him in her arms.
"I … I'm okay," he tried, his voice husky with barely contained emotion. "Just need to gi' my fucking head a wobble here."
But she could tell that wasn't true, only tightening her embrace. It wasn't like she didn't understand. She'd been on enough of an emotional roller-coaster herself lately to recognise his for what it was.
"My poor baby," she whispered softly, just holding him tighter. "Oh, sweetheart …"
The biker president – her strong, protective, loving old man – finally crumbling under the weight of everything he'd had to bear almost broke Eden's heart on the spot. She rocked him gently, her fingers stroking comfortingly through his hair as she felt hot tears on her neck and he held her as if he was afraid of letting go and losing her too.
"Fuck," Chibs finally choked out, trying to pull away and take a deep shuddering breath, wiping at his red-rimmed eyes. "Ach, my sweet girl, this ain't fair on you. I can't be putting this shite on you, especially now."
"Stop," Eden said gently. "Don't say that. Of course you can."
"I don't want you thinking I ain't happy, because I am. Jesus, darlin', I really am. All this, you and this wee one, you mean the fucking world to me."
"I know. But you're allowed to feel more than one thing at once, you know," she said, guiding him towards the bed and taking one of his hands in hers as she sat beside him on its edge. "It's a lot right now. And it's all bound to make you think of … of people you've lost. I understand, honest I do."
"Just don't seem right," Chibs confessed, as he hung his head. "Like wi' Aoife … That wee lass never hurt anyone and look what it got her. Dragged to the arse-end o' nowhere, terrified. Not even shoes on her feet and … and the beginnings o' a wee baby in her belly, and that bastard … That murdering bastard snuffed her out like she was fucking nothin'. And here I am. Still here. Still here and wi' a second chance I do not deserve. And those wee kiddies o' Jax's … Losing their mum and their da before they're barely old enough to know what's what. How the fuck is that fair, huh? How the fuck is any o' that fair?"
He didn't even seem to realise he was getting louder and louder until Eden flinched under the sheer agony in his rough voice, tears spilling down her own cheeks as she floundered helplessly for answers she didn't have.
"I'm sorry, pet, I'm sorry," Chibs managed, dropping from a near shout to a whisper and taking her in his arms again to cuddle her close as he pressed a kiss to her temple. "I love you. I never want you to doubt that, my darlin'. Jesus, Eden, I'm a fucking mess. I'm meant to be the one taking care o' you."
"Maybe you just need to let me take care of you sometimes too," she whispered into his neck.
"You've been through enough without me adding my shite to it …"
"Hey, maybe I want to be there for the man I love. For my baby's daddy. If we're going to be a family, you can't shut me out, Filip. Not even if you think you're protecting me. I'm not talking about club stuff. I'm get that. I'm talking about you hurting and trying to put a brave face on it for my sake."
"I just let it all get on top o' me for a minute," he said, as they stayed wrapped in each other's arms. "Thinking too much. Y'know, Jacky woulda loved hearing about the wee one. He'd have ripped the piss outta me something fierce, wondering how I got me hands on such a beautiful lass, but he'd have been so happy for us. Tara too …"
Eden only held him tighter as his voice thickened again and he buried his face against her shoulder, clearly still thinking about the violent loss of the couple he had loved dearly. The parents who had so tragically left behind such small children.
"Thank you, love."
"For what?" Eden whispered at his heartfelt words, feeling him draw back only to take her face in his hands and kiss her lips tenderly.
"Being you. Being mine."
"Always," she said softly, kissing him again. "Filip, are you sure I should go visit my mom right now? I can stay if you need me to …"
But he took a deep breath, one that was steadier now, managing a little smile for her as his hands still cupped her cheeks. "I'll be fine, promise. I mean, I'll miss the hell outta ya, but I'll be all right. After everything, I want you to have a nice wee break, love. There is one thing we ain't talked about though …"
"What's that?"
Chibs looked at her unsurely, as if trying to gauge how carefully he should tread. "What it means for my old lady to be heading off on a road trip without me," he said.
Eden raised her eyebrows in question, not fully following her old man's train of thought and trying to make light of it as she smiled. "I thought we agreed no road pussy …"
He smirked at that. "Wee minx. I'm thinking o' your safety, darlin'. Things ain't as bad on that front as they have been, but much as it pains me to have to say it, being my old lady makes you more o' a target. Maybe if Seth was going too, then I wouldn't have to worry, but …"
"But he's tied up right now with the gym," she said softly, hating to see the guilt on her old man's face. "Hey, I knew what I was getting into here. And I'm sure you don't need to worry anyway. I mean, surely there's less chance of any trouble at my mom's?"
"I'm hoping so," Chibs sighed. "But still, I ain't about to take chances wi' my girl."
"Filip …" Eden began, a warning note to her voice as she started to suspect she knew where this was going.
"I want a patch wi' you."
"Because my mom won't think that's weird at all – me turning up with some random biker in tow."
"Look, I know it ain't what you had in mind," Chibs said. "But I'd never fucking forgive mesel' if anything happened to you. It'd bloody destroy me, lass."
It was Eden's turn to sigh at that, recognising the truth in his words by the look in his eyes. But before she could agree or disagree, an idea struck him.
"Take Charlie," he said suddenly. "Let him drive you down there, carry your bags, just keep an eye. I know he's only a prospect, but that lad would run through fucking brick walls for you. I'd trust him to look out for you. And to be honest, it might do him good to get away for a bit too."
His old lady had been fully prepared to argue her case against not needing a babysitter, but at the mention of the young man she'd grown so fond of, she couldn't help but soften.
"I did kinda adopt him as my little brother," she nodded. "It's probably time he met the rest of the family."
"Good girl," Chibs smiled, relieved to have apparently found a solution that actually suited them both. "I'll gi' him his orders and let you fill him in on when you wanna hit the road. Now, c'mere to me, my darlin' …"
Letting him pull her back into his arms, Eden's hands slid over his chest as she leaned up for a kiss he was only too willing to share.
"That lot out there probably already think we've snuck off for a shag," he murmured roughly against her lips, his strong hands sliding to her ass. "No point wasting the moment …"
