So pal I was sitting in my dark apartment reading detective stories because when I was a kid I read all these mystery stories about the police doing cool stuff and solving crimes and I wanted to be just like them, that's why I joined the force.
But apparently all we do is bully people and it's nothing like the books, that's why I still read them. The other police guys laugh at me for it but I am a strong man with passion in my hobbies, pal!
Problem is, since I spend all my money on books I can't pay for lighting or heating or rent but the lighting's the important part. It's dark in here so I decided to go outside and read in the park.
I went out to the park and started reading, it turns out the book I was reading was called The Adventures of Herlock Sholmes by John Wilson. I opened the page and it said
"I need your help!"
Then a hand came out of the pages and pulled me in!
"What the heck pal!" I shouted. Then I noticed I was talking to Herlock Sholmes.
"My friend Ryunosuke was murdered..." said Sholmes.
"I'M NOT DEAD!" shouted Ryunosuke.
"...and his assistant Susato was accused because the cause of death was getting thrown in the sky."
"Well that's a contradiction, pal, he's on the ground!"
It was a groundbreaking discovery so we called the witness Barok van Zieks.
"My learned friend was tossed by his assistant," said Barok.
"Objection!" I said. "Susato doesn't toss people... she takedowns them!"
"Blast!" said Zieks. "I'm sorry. I did not mean to kill the foreign exchange student, I was just so sick of his stupid arguments and I grabbed him but my hand slipped causing me to fire him into the sky and come crashing down fatally."
Susato was found innocent, Ryunosuke was alive and Barok van Zieks got executed. But I didn't go home. I'm now a great detective like Herlock Sholmes!
Epilogue
John Phoenix was out with his uncle Phoenix when they stumbled across a book.
"What's in this book?" said Phoenix.
John Phoenix pulled the book from him.
"Uncle Phoenix you can not read."
John Phoenix read the book and gasped.
"Uncle! Our friend has been sucked into this book!"
Phoenix started crying but John Phoenix didn't.
"We must get him out!" said John Phoenix!
