Author's note
I don't know if everyone hoorays at powerful omnipotent Harry Potter or god-like Hermione when they even hiccup. I'm not. One vote already wants Harry and Ron not to combine their forces. My ao3 account will be up by August 10 – 12. I'm going to enjoy this.
So far, I have had one reviewer. Whoever you're, you have my gratitude. One reader added this story into favorites and following stories. Thank you so much, Skyjadeprincess.
Let's get on with chapter 02. Please review your ideas and opinions. No flames though.
Chapter - 02
Ron bullies sorting hat (And few others)
When McGonagall called first-year students to be sorted, she didn't expect a handsome older student to be in their line. She even forgot to tell him to leave the line when she saw his dance. Instead, she placed a three-legged stool on the ground before the first-year students with the sorting hat on top of it.
A long tear near the brim of the ancient hat opened and began to sing.
"A thousand years or more ago,
When I was newly sewn,
There lived four wizards of renown,
Whose names are still well known:
Bold Gryffindor, from wild moor,
Fair Ravenclaw, from glen,
Sweet Hufflepuff, from valley broad,
Shrewd Slytherin, from fin.
They shared a wish, a hope, a dream,
They hatched a daring plan
To educate young sorcerers
Thus Hogwarts School began.
Now each of these four founders
Formed their own house,
for each Did value different virtues In the ones they had to teach.
By Gryffindor, the bravest were
Prized far beyond the rest;
For Ravenclaw, the cleverest
Would always be the best;
For Hufflepuff, hard workers were
Most worthy of admission;
And power-hungry Slytherin
Loved those of great ambition.
While still alive they did divide
Their favorites from the throng,
Yet how to pick the worthy ones
When they were dead and gone?
'Twas Gryffindor who found the way,
He whipped me off his head
The founders put some brains in me
So I could choose instead!
Now slip me snug about your ears,
I've never yet been wrong,
I'll have a look inside your mind
And tell where you belong!"
As the sorting hat finished, everyone applauded. Well, apparently not everyone. Ron narrowed his eye at the sorting hat, taking off his sunglasses. The sorting hat noticed this and shuddered. Don't do what I think you're going to do! Please!
Ron smirked at the sorting hat. "I'm gonna put some dirt in your eye!" He whispered.
The sorting hat was so scared so it sorted Dennis Creevey into Slytherin. Ron rolled his eyes at Dennis who was happy about sorting to the same house as Harry.
"Weasley, Ronald!" McGonagall called.
The hall went max volume bat shit crazy mode when the cool one danced towards the sorting hat and put it on his head. Everyone stopped their pandemonium to witness this extreme moment, not because Dumbledore yelled 'Silence.'
Sorting hat saw… many, many things from the multiverse of Ron Weasley. Things he even couldn't comprehend… He would go crazy!
"Stop this! Please stop!" The sorting hat yelled.
McGonagall tried to take it off of Ron, but he poked his tongue at her and demanded sorting hat to sort him. The sorting hat fainted, after muttering "Hogwarts."
"Guess I belong to every house," Ron widened his hands and backflipped. Then he threw the hat at McGonagall.
"See ya, chump!" He put on sunglasses and danced amazingly towards the Slytherin table and sat on Greengrass' lap.
"Get off of my betrothed!" Lord Potter whispered angrily.
"Look, can't you share?" Ron asked. "It's only fair if I made fire whiskey with your fiancé. You cheated on her when you begged me on all fours in my compartment."
"What! No!" Lord Potter barked outrageously.
"All sixth and seventh-year chicks would disagree with you!" Ron cocked his head, "Besides, you loved it when I shoved my banana in your mouth didn't you?"
If looks could kill…
"He did! He did!" all of the sixth and seventh-year girls agreed.
"If you wanna see how big my wand is," Ron winked while standing up, "Your little headquarters in Room of Requirement on Saturday morning, hot legs. I swear on my magic that I made him eat my banana while he was on all fours in my compartment, so mote it be!"
Ron held up his palm and made some fireworks from it. Daphne Greengrass raised her eyebrows at an angry Lord Hadrian James Charles Potter-Black. At her 'explain me later' look, Harry Potter looked extremely fearful. Come on, dude! Why fear your fiancé?
He danced his way towards Ravenclaw table to enjoy some more pizzas. Even when Dumbledore himself stood up to deliver his boring speech, Ron wasn't bothered. Triwizard tournament? More like the trash tournament! Instead of dumping Dumbledore's bog in his ears, he dumped more and more slices of pizza into his mouth. He enjoyed watching Hermione Granger's face while eating. It was exactly like Potter's aunt from another universe when she sees Harry. Guess she got infected!
Mad eye – Barty entered the Great Hall with lightning and thunder. No one, Ron means no one dares to steal Ronald Weasley's thunder. Mad eye's mad eye fell on the floor, as Ron got up on the house table and started his awesome dance. Then his belt came off, and Mad-eye hanged onto his trousers. Then he lost his balance and fell due to the absence of his wooden leg. With a clap that caused lightning in the ceiling, Ron did a front flip from the house table to the floor.
Mad eye Barty was embarrassed, yet thrilled. Who is this boy? He seemed to be powerful. He should join the dark side. May be few cookies…
No! Cookies are for children. Let's give him books. Knowledge is power, power corrupts, study hard and get evil! That's what his Lord told him when he was new to the course. It happened to his Lord, it happened to him, and why not for this child?
When the feast was over, Ron felt someone directing a wand at him. He looked at Headmaster's throne and understood that Santa's evil twin was trying to enchant him the whole time he was eating pizza and dancing. Ron shook his head and made a web-slinging gesture from his hand.
The next minute, Dumbledore closed his eyes with both hands and ran out of the hall crying "Shazam!"
Next time, he is going to get dirt in his ass.
Now, where should Ron sleep? A night in shrieking shack did sound him perfect. Yeah, but let's… let's do something else first. A mischievous vicious grin appeared on his face, one side to the other. With a snap of his fingers, he went intangible and invisible.
"That bloody song!" Fred Weasley covered his ears. The blokes were discussing how to enter the Triwizard tournament and suddenly, Ron's damn theme song started to play so they had to put on earmuffs but still that song echoed in their minds.
"What's up with him?" Hermione asked, "The last term, he was like 'Dumbledore this, Dumbledore that' and suddenly he's so powerful that he can break magical laws."
"Wait? What magical Laws?" George asked.
"You should know!" Hermione raised her voice at the twins. "It is Gamp's elemental law of transfiguration! You can't conjure food or money out of nothing!"
"Hold on! Food?" Dudley Dursley asked. (Yeah, before you ask, Lord Potter and Dr. H.J. Granger activated his secret magical gene so he came to Hogwarts, ministry reference file #94637345) Due to the exercises he, Cedric Diggory, and Lord Potter had.
"Money?" Fred and George asked together.
Neville made a noise from his nose. " Didn't I tell you guys that Ron made a spring of real Galleons out of the train floor?"
"And pizza is a muggle food." Hermione said in 'as a matter of fact' manner, "Which means Trolley Lady didn't have them."
"Not true," Dudley said, "There was this Italian restaurant in Knockturn Alley. Harry and I went to it when he bought a spare wand and I got a new one. They had this new pizza brand made of Acromantula meat."
The rest of the party shuddered at the idea except Hermione Granger who had an excited grin on her face.
"Wow! That must be an adventure!" She squealed and then turned towards the twins. "I need your brother to teach me how to do that or to learn how he did it. Time for experiments!"
Hermione shrieked angrily when an Owl shit on her perfect straight brown hair, and then picked up the letter that the owl left on the floor. She non- verbally banished owl poop from her head while reading the parchment. Then she cheered.
"Your brother says he will teach me!" Hermione cheered and hugged Fred and George and ran excitedly to the Gryffindor common room. Neville and Dursley shrugged and ran behind her. Fred tumbled over a bottle and nearly broke his teeth.
George picked it up. The label on it said aging potion. Yes! They don't have to buy it! He helped his brother to stand up. Fred forgot the various insults that came to his mouth about bottles when he saw the label of it.
Unbeknownst to the twins, there was a figure stood behind them invisible. He sneered at them while putting a cookie in his mouth. Let's see what happens to those two when they try to put their names in the goblet… After all, worshiping the ground Harry Potter walks on does have a price. Also the pranks they pulled on him with or without Lord Potter. Ron knew that many people on the multiverse would call Fred and George funny, but they did many malicious pranks. Many worshipped them as gods and many deaths created realms in honor of them. Take original Weasley twins and tenfold their mischievous streak and we get these two Weasleys. One of the smallest pranks these twins did to Ron was throwing him off the window of his own room on the fifth floor when he was seven. Ron didn't have a twinge of guilt that he's doing this to his brothers. They deserve it. He despised them and that's that. But now, he must return to the shrieking shack. Let's have some fun with Whomping Willow cause destroy his father's car…
Ron visited the Whomping Willow with an amazing dance, accompanied by a 1:1 flawless accurate horde of flying Ford Anglia s. While the tree was busy, Ron marched through the incoming angry branches with no problem.
With few snaps, the shack became a cozy luxurious house that serves every one of Ron's biddings. In satisfaction, Ron cuddled with his little spider plushie to sleep.
