Since January 2020, I've been a member of the writing collaboration Seven Shades of Drarry, a group of seven Drarry writers coming together to write themed anthologies. Our fourth anthology — Seven Shades of Romance — is inspired by the romantic spirit of Valentine's Day. My contribution to this anthology is teased here, but you have to click to the collection's account to see the entire story. The link is in my profile, or you can search users for "SevenShadesofDrarry".


This work is part of the Seven Shades of Romance anthology, the fourth in a series of collaborative projects within the Seven Shades of Drarry collective. Each included story has been written by a different author. Please see the Author Profile of the Seven Shades of Drarry account for more information on the anthology, the collective, and each individual author.


Summary:

Harry sucks at dating. Malfoy is a dating whizz. Hermione suggests the perfect solution.

Or, how Harry Potter finally learned how to date like a pro.

Tags/Warnings: EWE, HP/DM, H/D, Drarry, Oblivious Harry, Confident Draco, Sassy Draco, Smitten Harry, Harry is a hot mess, Pining, UST, Light Angst, Romance, Fluff, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fake Dating, Bets & Wagers, Makeover, Out and Proud Draco, Closeted Bisexual Harry, Friends to Lovers, Valentine's Day, POV Harry Potter

Word count: 5,491
(This post is only a teaser. To read the full story, please find it on the collection's account. The link is in my profile, or you can search users for SevenShadesofDrarry.)


Author's notes:

Chosen tropes: Fake Dating, Bets & Wagers, Oblivious Harry, Out and Proud Draco, Friends to Lovers

English is not my native language so please be kind if you find any errors I've missed. That said, I'll appreciate any feedback you're willing to give me — follows, favs and reviews are my primary life sources.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to JKR and associated publishers. No profit is being made, and no copyright infringement is intended. The comments and opinions expressed by the original creator do not reflect the views of the author of this transformative work.


TEASER


Fake Dating | The Malfoy Crash Course in Dating Excellence

by Drarrelie

Excerpt


"That's it." Harry slumps down in his chair and hides his face in his hands. "I officially suck at dating."

Cynthia had seemed really into him when they met a few weeks ago at Seamus and Dean's New Year's party. And yet, it only took her three dates for the usual 'I'm sorry, Harry, I don't think we should see each other anymore,' to escape her lips.

"Oh, Harry. Please don't say that." Hermione scurries around the table to sit down beside him, placing a consoling hand on his shoulder.

Harry glances at her sideways through his fingers. "Why not? It's true."

"What is?" Harry looks up to find Malfoy smiling gleefully at him as he places a fresh round of drinks on the table.

"Harry sucking at dating." Ron grins and grabs his pint before it even touches the sticky surface.

"Don't we all?" Malfoy chuckles and takes the vacated seat opposite Harry. Harry glares at him. If anyone excels at the dating game, it's Malfoy; always entertaining a new fling and seemingly loving every minute of it. "What?" Malfoy shrugs innocently. "Either I suck him or he sucks me, and whichever way, a fun time is had by all."

Ron snorts, sending beer up his nose as Harry scowls. "I'm not like you, Malfoy. I'm not in it for a quick shag. I want to find someone to fall in love with, something real."

"I can get anyone to fall in love with me if I wanted to."

"Really?" Hermione's eyes twinkle and Malfoy smirks. "So why don't you teach him how to do it?"

"Now, there's a thought." Malfoy takes a sip of his wine while Harry splutters, lost for words as he looks between the two of them. "All right, Potter. Here's a proposition for you. It's four weeks until Valentine's Day. How about, during this time, you'll date me? I'll study your moves, give you practical tips for improvement, and teach you all there is to know about successful dating."

Harry swallows. It's not that he'd never date a man, he just… hasn't. Yet. But dating a friend? It just seems… wrong. He tells Malfoy as much.

"Well, that won't be a problem, would it, since we'll not be dating for real? It's just one friend helping out another. You know what? Go out with me, and I bet you ten Galleons your Valentine's date will end up better than any other date you've ever had."

"But, I—"

"Scared, Potter?"

The challenging glint in Malfoy's eye has the same effect on Harry as it's always had.

"You wish!"

"Then…?"

"All right, Malfoy," Harry grits, against his better judgement. "I'm going to date the fuck out of you. Now, drink your poncy wine and I'll pick you up tomorrow at noon."


"So," Harry says as the waitress retreats with their empty dishes, "what's the verdict?"

Malfoy had suggested Harry 'do his thing' for the first hour of their so-called date, claiming he wanted to 'observe and evaluate his raw material' before deciding on a plan of action.

"Honestly, Potter? If this is the best you can do, there's no wonder you're still single." Harry opens his mouth to retort but hesitates. Malfoy's not mocking him, he realises, but sounds genuinely concerned, as if he's actually looking to help. "Why did you choose this place?"

Harry frowns, sweeping his gaze around the bistro he'd chosen for their 'date'. "Why? I come here all the time, and none of my dates has ever complained about it before. I like that it's Muggle; that, here, I can be just Harry. I know the staff; I like the food. It's a perfectly good place for a date."

Malfoy sighs and shakes his head, exasperated. "It's loud," he says, raising one long, slender finger as he starts ticking off his mental list, "which doesn't encourage conversation. The lighting is much too bright for anyone to feel attractive. The vegetables were overcooked, the waitress is a walking perfume factory, and this table is unbalanced. Want me to go on?"

"I— No?" Harry squirms, avoiding Malfoy's intense eyes.

"No? Then, how about your performance?"

"My…?" Merlin, is this what an audition feels like? Harry rubs his hands against his jeans, his palms suddenly and inexplicably sweaty.

"Yes. Let's talk about the topics that should always be avoided when you're on a date; or at least before you know each other much better." That same finger comes up again as Harry nods, already knowing he's going to get properly chastised. "The throes of the dating scene, past relationships, politics, religion, and life problems. Tell me, how many of those did you touch on this past hour?"

"Er… Four?"

"Yes, Potter, four. Out of five. Additionally, you spoke with food in your mouth on at least three occasions and checked your watch more times than I could count. You didn't refill my water glass and there's a drop of sauce at the corner of your mouth — yes, right there" — Malfoy purses his lips and touches the tip of his index finger against his mouth — "that's been there for at least fifteen minutes."

Harry hastens to wipe the offending drop away, feeling heat rise on his cheeks. "Anything else?"

"Well, yes." Malfoy smirks. "You showed up ten minutes late—"

Harry smiles sheepishly. "You know me, I'm always late…"

"—and you haven't put any effort into your choice of clothes—"

"…which can hardly be a surprise to you; you're always telling me I don't have any fashion sense."

"—neither of these a good first impression on a date."

Harry rolls his eyes. "Come on, Malfoy, it's us. It's a bit late for first impressions, isn't it?"

"That's not the point. If you want this to work, you'll have to pretend that this is real. You need to treat me as if I were the girl of your dreams."

"I— But…" Harry blinks. "You're a man?"

"Obviously."

"No, I mean, I've never dated a man before, I don't know what to do."

"Well, believe it or not; it's not that different from dating a woman."

"Which doesn't help me much, since I'm apparently pants at that too." Harry pouts, fiddling with the napkin he still hasn't been able to let go of after the Sauce Incident.

"But that's why I'm here, right? To teach you how to do it."

"Still think it's possible? You don't think I'm a hopeless case?"

"Well, what do you think?" Malfoy's smile is warm and surprisingly genuine, almost… fond? "Come on, Potter, have you ever heard of a Slytherin who'd place a bet on something they didn't fully believe in?"

"Er, no?"

"Then don't you worry about it; it'll only get you headaches and premature wrinkles." Harry frowns at Malfoy's wink, prompting the man to add, "As will that. Now, here's what we'll do…"


To read the full story, please find it on the collection's account. The link is in my profile, or you can search users for SevenShadesofDrarry.