Disclaimer: Don't Own. Schneider's Bakery and Nickelodeon do. Inspired by Despicable Me, but with enough divergence I'm probably safe.

:}

Jade was sitting in her room, doing homework. Her room! That nice basement room she had in her moms new place. The room she claimed as soon as they moved, or rather, long before they even thought of moving, but that's getting ahead of the story. The room she had trained her family, her mom, step dad, even her brother, to avoid spending too much time in. It had required subsonic frequency generators, and some special ear pieces, but they quickly learned to give her privacy, none the wiser that she had planned it. They just knew standing in her room made them queasy, uncomfortable, like this buzzing in the back of their head that wouldn't go away while their stomach slowly did back flips. But they learned, not knowing why, just that it was far more comfortable not to invade her privacy, or to just let her know whatever and get out. Jade was content, for the moment, happy to have her space.

Jade checked the clock. 'Okay, I've got time to kill. Whats left of my homework.' She checked her notebook. 'There is that project I'm supposed to be working on with Cat. But do I want to work on that now? I f I call her, she'd be here in fifteen minutes. But no, not here. At her place, yes, not here. I just don't like how she pokes around my place, forgetting it's mine, and I like my secrets. So her place, later this week. Sam and I get along, we should have no problems.' Jade decided. It was a pain working with Cat sometimes. The girl wasn't dumb, just ditsy. Jade sometimes had her do all the work, other times doing it all herself and letting the redhead think she'd done all the work. Jade liked her grades. The better they were, the more her family would allow her to do as she pleased. But she also liked playing Cat. Jade had long ago decided she'd continue to push the ditsy girl, just to see how she'd react. 'Cat makes it too easy. I wonder what she'd do if she knew how little I need her work.' But she was drifting, and she had homework to do.

Jade always finished her homework before going to her after school job. No matter how long it took, and so much of the work they gave her felt like busy work, she always made sure to finish before her job. 'I swear, it's like they just want to take up as much time as possible.' Jade groused, again.

Jade honestly loved her job. Having the job meant she had her own money, cash her mother and stepfather had no say over, so she could buy the nice things she wanted. But it was more then that, because as much as she liked the nice things, it wasn't about the money. Or rather, not just the money, or about getting that valuable "Work experience" that was so venerated in the grown up world. No, it was also fun. The job had been, to her mind, one of the most enjoyable things she'd done outside of acting, even if she had setbacks, and was far from the top of her field.

But to succeed, in life, in business, in this job, she would need discipline. Self discipline was a trait she respected, and so she made it a rule, business before pleasure. She always made sure to do her homework first. 'But man do I love my after school job.' She thought. 'I just wish there was less stress.' Again, she was getting ahead of herself.

Jade's job, the one she loved, wasn't like most jobs. It was unusual for multiple reasons, not the least of which was that Jade inherited it. A distant relative left it to her. The equipment, plans, instructions on how to carry on his life's work. She realized quickly that she'd need all the cute toys he'd left her, including a backup lair, because he was a super villain, and now so was she. He'd chosen her, out of the entire family, to carry on after he was gone, so when he apparently died, it all went to her. Of course, she was never sure of any of the details of how he died, or if he really was dead. She only had vague information on how he was related to her. However, it looked like an interesting experiment, and she was curious why he'd chosen her, so the goth reluctantly (at first) carried on his work.

Now, to be clear, this wasn't like the comic books she used to read as a kid, or like the characters in the video games she still played. (Of course, now, she pirates a lot more of them. Professional ethics and all, it just wouldn't be villainous to buy them, even if she could afford it.) No, she was like a bond villain, with her minions, always plotting to steal or take over something or another. While there was a lot of fancy equipment, no one had any special powers. Just her brilliance, and the might of her followers. Not to mention lots and lots of guns.

Of course, he didn't just have someone drop off the keys to a secret base, and that was part of what had drawn her in. Instead he'd given her a book, inside which was a hollowed out section with a thumb drive. The drive had instructions on how to claim the majority of what he'd left her. Jade had spent a month figuring that chiz out before she was able to take action. A month where she became more and more curious about what was going on, and who her relative was.

Once she was able to start the process, she found everything quickly. The thumb drive contained his financial data for his backup funds, including the ownership of the dummy company that owned the land under witch his base was built. Following his instruction to transfer ownership, her next step was to make it easier for her to access the base. She came up with a plan. It was easy enough to arrange a sweetheart deal for her mother and foster monster to rent the house, something so tempting that they'd take it. They had too many reasons to move. There was the bigger house for less, the nicer neighborhood, and the whole story of how some depressed kid had committed suicide in the basement so the rent was cheap. The basement bedroom became hers, and she had unlimited access to her base with none the wiser to where she was going and what she was planning. That was also why she trained her family to minimize time in her room. She needed time for her job.

From there, she gathered the funds she had, looked at what he'd left behind for her to use, and came up with a plan. Admittedly, Super Villainy was a learn as you go kind of job, but Jade was more then up to the task. Initially she'd hired a couple of easily controlled goons to do her bidding, since she wanted minions to do chiz for her. Then she launched her first plot as she started building up her resources. She was a little impatient, waiting for her next generation of minions to be ready, but the goons were good for now. 'I really should have killed them a while ago, but they're just so useful to frame if the authorities ever get too close.' Jade smiled, remembering the good times of the past. Now, they just did minor stuff that let them be there if she needed them.

Jade took that moment to reflect on her early failures. 'It was a learning experience.' She reminded herself. Like the mind control drug that sapped peoples will. All slipping it into the water supply did was shift the last election by maybe a point. It was depressing to see how much people already were being manipulated. She logged that away in her brain for future use, and moved on. Then there was her weather dominator. It was a miracle in sub-magnetic atmospheric manipulation. Sure, it filled a room, and was kinda expensive to build, but it worked. In a ten mile radios. Jade had to think about that for a while. It could affect weather in a ten mile radius. Not much could be done with a ten mile range. Also, if she wanted rain, or snow, or something like that, there needed to be water within that ten miles. So all she could do was effect local weather, and she found as much as she liked it dingy, LA wasn't the same with out the sunshine. Also, people talked, more so then when she used the mind control drug. It was like no one in Southern California had ever experienced England in the winter. 'Or a summer in San Francisco.' Jade joked to herself. The smile quickly faded.

The less said about her campaign to conquer Yerba, the better. Sure, she managed to overwhelm their armies with her Vampire moth control device, and even held the island for over a month. Their fear of the little monsters was enough to crush all resistance. Quickly. Too quickly. Within a week of the start of her campaign, she faced no meaningful resistance. Then she'd administered the mind control drug to the former cabinet, making them her loyal advisers. It let her influence be in multiple places at once, and gave the oppressed people a sense of continuity. Her early gains looked promising.

But things in Yerba were incredibly boring. The presidents palace wasn't much better then the hotel they'd stayed in, not with all the activity and her ability to sleep through a war. Then she had to scrap her ideas about conquering the neighboring countries. The neophyte ruler had relied on the vampire moths to maintain control, and overwhelm opposition, but quickly gave up using them to overrun their neighbors. Of course, the fact that the vampire Moth lived in a very limited ecology, and wouldn't make it more then a couple of miles outside the Yerbin border helped with that realization. Without the deadly little buggers, she'd be force to rely on soldiers she had no faith in. Both Vega and Sizowitz outsmarted them, and that takes some dedicated stupidity.

But her Yerbin problems continued. It seems that the Yerbainians still look back at her month and a half of rule as the silver age. That was after she raided their treasury for all she could, then sold the island to a close rival, a sale that resulted in a civil war that rages to this day. It may not have been the best of times for them, just the best in the last twenty years. How could she know that in crushing all resistance, she crushed the rebels, thus making it safe for people to once again visit the beaches. Or that ending the violence would restart the countries nearly nonexistent tourist trade, bringing in new money. She didn't even realize that her heavy handed rulership was better then the last three rulers combined. Maybe her decision to save money by allowing doctors without borders to come in made a difference, since they'd been reduced to the son of their last doctor. Even their current, ongoing war was restricted to clearer lines and had helped to unite the people for the first time in years. But whatever the reason, it caused the Yerbaininas to take some of the tourist revenue they'd saved to take out full page adds across LA. They wanted her back. They even offered a reward to anyone who could convince her to return, so now she had to dodge agents of Yerba seeking to recruit her and drag her back to rule the island once again.

'You'd think selling them was enough of a resignation letter.' Jade mused. 'I mean, why do some people have such a hard time hearing the word no?'

But throughout her failures, she did learn. Jade now had her minions, genetically created freaks who obeyed only their programed master, or whomever they were told to by said master. The best part about them was they looked like short humans, averaging five foot four for the men, and she hadn't figured out how to make female minions yet. The only problem was the slight purplish ting to their skin, but you had to look closely to see that. On the plus side, some simian DNA gave them almost freakish strength. Overall, they were a good choice to help her carry out whatever plans she may have, strong and smart and willing to die for her. She'd inherited the equipment to make them, and a couple of specialist who knew how to use the growth vats, but hadn't really had many before now. Even now, they only numbered in the hundreds, but she could make more any time she wanted. It just took time, some raw materials, and a place to put them.

And she had her equipment. The weapons she was left were now being built, maintained, and within limits tweeked, by the special breed of minions she'd grown with the intelligent and knowledge of how to make the stuff. Of course, they had their limits, but she could make minion scientists, and the scientists could give her new equipment. That gave her weapons, armor, whatever she needed in her vast underground lair. She loved to play with the latest developed toys, just to see how much damage she potentially could do. Also, it was useful in case the Yerbanian agents came close again.

And it was showing, in her recent successes. The last couple of 'jobs' had gone off without so much as a murmur. The equipment, and her agents, also gave her two new sources of income that more then replaced he limited funds her predecessor had left her. The first, and most profitable, was a line of Eco-friendly electronics she held the patent on. Being just a smidgen more energy efficient, user friendly, and built from recycled (And cheaper) materials, they were making her way too much money. Like Doctor Evil before her, she started the legitimate businesses to fund her villainous research, but found that business was making more money then any of her criminal enterprises. 'At least I did it with Yerbanian money.' She said to comfort herself. After all, was it really a scheme if it was totally legal? 'What kind of villain lives off legally earned money?' She'd often wondered. Further complicating things, she couldn't directly use this cash, because her parents would ask questions.

The second income stream came from the various small crimes she and her minions committed. Many of them only netted her a small reward, barely enough to justify the risk taken. All together, however, she managed to make enough to help fund her bigger projects while keeping her followers in practice. And she got to test her minions, see what they could really do. 'And I get to be the Master Villain.' Jade smirked at the thought. Initially these successes had made her feel so good.

That brought her to her big problem. Like the fabled clone troopers from the Star Wars series, her minions had week wills. They'd die before they betrayed a master, but planning, improvisation, those things needed to be done for them. If someone they thought had the right to told them not to eat, they'd starve, and if left on their own with money and no food, they'd probably wait for someone to give them instructions. They were wonderful as long as they had their marching orders, taking small leaps of logic to get things done. But they weren't gonna take the initiative. Jade was learning to give them detailed orders, including contingency plans, before sending them out. It was becoming exhausting, even for a writer, to think of all the possible contingencies.

Jade needed officers, underlings she could trust to lead her minions into battle. The various fiascoes she'd already endured had taught her the value of those who could think, or more specifically had free will. 'But who to recruit...'

Her first thought had been Beck. In a way, her first thoughts were always going to be of Beck. Their shared history made him one of the few people she trusted, and the one person who could honestly be said to have a place in her heart. She did love him, just not the way he deserved to be loved. But emotions aside, he did have his down sides, 'Especially for this line of work.' Like he was too much of a goodie goodie. She hated to admit it, but breaking into Wanko's to buy stuff was about as illegal as he got. Worse, he was a guy, so he assumed he'd be in charge of whatever they were doing. A deadly one two punch that ended him as a useful choice, while letting her know she may have to look into an alternative form of relationship. After all, he'd probably not want to date a super villain. 'If I'm not with Beck, then who the chiz am I?' She wondered.

Then she thought of Andre. He was a little more loose, but still had that strong moral code. In fact, all her friends seemed to have that level of code. Andre couldn't even hide his crush on her, let alone order minions to hold people at gun point. 'He couldn't even let that Hope bitch give him chiz to be her boyfriend. THAT was too much for him.' Jade had realized a while ago. All the boys were like that. 'The worst the boys'll do is get them some revenge, and then they go and feel guilty, unless it's Trina. If it's Trina they celebrate. I wonder if I could have Trina be my victim, kinda professionally? Have her get a series of jobs, and then they rob her? Nah. Don't wanna include her in any of my plans.'

Of her friends, only Rex was ruthless enough, and she had plans to torture the puppet to get back at Robbie. 'Not sure what for yet, but I'm just so in love with the idea.' So Jade was at an impasse. She lacked the scientific abilities to make her minions better, and probably wouldn't gain that for years, she couldn't trust anyone to be a loyal officer, but needed a good two or more levels beneath her for anything bigger then raiding a Shopmart or conquering Yerba. 'Sad that it'd be harder to raid the Shopmart.' Jade lamented. Even her goons, the men she'd one day blame for her crimes, if she ever committed any directly, weren't good officer material. They were followers, and she knew it.

Jade loved her job, but it just wasn't as much fun as it used to be. 'Maybe next summer, I can invade Hawaii for a couple of weeks.' She thought. 'A super villains vacation.'

Looking down, she could tell she was procrastinating. Her work was done, and it was time for her to go to her lair, see what the science department had been working on. 'I love my job, but lately I feel like I'm letting my minions down. They were created for such glorious things, and I've reduced them to shoplifting from Wanko's.' Jade thought as she moved to her back wall. Once there, she breathed on a specific spot, opening the panel that controlled the elevator. Then, she gave the voice command to call the elevator, and soon was riding down to the lab slash lair slash base slash whatever else she could call it. 'Time to be a leader.' She said to herself as she gathered her acting ability and made herself look imposing.

It was usually a short ride to her underground base, but that was as much due to the speed of the elevator as anything else. According to the plans she'd found, the base was built so that it's highest point was over ten stories down. The base itself was the size of a football stadium, with lots of offices and labs around a central open area, plenty of room for her to quarter her minions, plan attacks, build gadgets and vehicles and such.

The biggest drawback was that the base only had a couple of access points. The elevator in the basement was one, and then there was a long tunnel that led to some dock space she owned. Finally, there were tunnels into the sewers, and the subway. (Yes, LA has a subway, just not that much of one.) These all combined to give her some access to the outside world, but limited how many of her minions could be used at any one time. And any vehicle larger then a car was unlikely to sneak out unnoticed unless she placed a freighter in the harbor near the warehouse, and played that it was loaded or unloaded. So Jade had a list of cool toys she could play with, but for now they were all stuck down here.

Jade stepped off the elevator to see her troops, in their red and black armored uniforms, snap to attention. She had been told once that Farscape would sue her for stealing the Peacekeepers uniforms, but Jade just scoffed. Who sues the ruler of the world. Besides, some of those uniforms were cool. Now if she could only get them to develop explosive slime that crawled to where you wanted it to detonate...

That brought her to her biggest, and most recent, frustration about her inventors. They were minions, as mentioned before. Their lack of free will didn't seem to hamper their development of strange and amazing technology, as long as it was variants of stuff her distant relative had already done. She could have them build robots, from the small infiltration units (She had plans that looked like cookies) to giant shock-troopers that could smash a city block to pieces. But they were all variants of the same design. If she wanted something new, something she dreamed up, instead of something that could be gotten by modifying her current technology, she was out of luck.

Supplies were easily acquired, but she had to be careful. The electronics company she owned had a factory and supply chains, but she didn't like to use them. It was better just to ship the funds off through a couple of subsidiaries, washing it of any connection to her, or the company, then pay for deliveries of whatever she needed. Jade had materials. She just had no idea what to build.

'I just need something to inspire me, something to get the creative juices flowing again.' Jade said to herself. Back in the day, when she built elaborate revenge traps to get whomever had offended her, she showed a great deal of creativity, as well as scads of ingenuity making things work the way she wanted them to. Now, she had all the resources in the world, and what she was getting was rehashed stuff of her predecessors plans and equipment.

Even Yerba, 'Don't think of Yerba,' Was just her getting back at them for the way she and her friends were treated back in the day, a year and a half ago, when they went on semester break to preform there, and wound up in jail. Jade needed a plan, one that wasn't recycled, or dependent one stuff her minions couldn't make.

Also, there seemed to be a size limit. 'Apparently making a giant space station, like the Dearth-star, takes up scads of resources. Like more then I'd find in all the planets of this system.' Jade sighed again. She really wanted to be the first on her block to live in a ginormous space station.

She'd arrived at the science labs, and her chief of inventions wanted to show off the newest stuff.

Jade had asked for a folding vehicle. Some way for them to carry out a plane, or a tank, or even a motorcycle, and not have to worry about where to park it before they needed it. So far, the research hadn't come up with much. They seemed to be limited by the laws of physics.

"But he wasn't." Jade said, not too pleased. "My predecessor built this whole base under the Hollywood hills, dug tunnel over a dozen miles long, and no one noticed. How?" Jade had asked these questions before. She was never happy with the answers.

The minions didn't know. They'd researched until they ran out of leads, testing the rock around them, looking at the materials the base was made of, looking into different theories. None of it made Jade happy, since all they could do was guess. Apparently he'd not bothered to give her all of his stuff, keeping the best for himself. Or the hole was already here, and he just took advantage, but the odds of finding it, and then building this base, were low. He had to have something.

"Or maybe this is the test?" One of the minions said. Jade didn't know his name, mostly because they didn't have official names. Too hard. Instead, they were given an alphanumeric designation that showed their department, order of creation, and other data she didn't care about. The often did assume names, just to learn to fit in above. But Jade so rarely used them to gather information, or run errands, or otherwise risk them getting into s situation where they'd be calling in for instructions on how to respond to what to her would be a normal occurrence.

'Or maybe it's because I wouldn't trust you to run an errand for me.' Jade thought. 'After all, a cat is not a threat worth calling in about.'

Jade had also decided not to learn names, to avoid getting attached, 'Just in case I decided to kill one in a fit of rage.'

Jade had one original plan. But the plan required a risk she wasn't ready to take. With research she could set up a bunch of her minions above ground in assumed identities. They'd live their lives, following a pre-programmed set of instructions, until the day she decided to activate them. They'd be her sleeper army.

And she figured they'd be caught within a week. In her deference, she was an actress, so inconsistencies others might not notice screamed at her. Her minions could do well, pretending to be a crew of some sort as long as she had an officer who could think on his feet and come up with original material when needed. That, of course, brought her back to her lack of officers.

Jade had several research projects working on that lack of initiative problem, trying to inject some creativity into some of her minions. So far, it improved moral, hard to do among the fanatically loyal. But other then that, it didn't do too much. Jade continued with them, just because it did make them act a little more normal.

Jade decided to take a coffee break. She started heading to the lounge she'd prepared as one of her "Build a personality" Projects. The result was her learning that they did have some personalty, but would drop it if she told them to. On the bright side, it gave her a coffee shop in her base. Maybe the first of what could be her practice shops, to prepare her minions to infiltrate the city, the shop was the biggest failure of her research programs, even if they could make anything a Jet Brew could.

She didn't make it to the shop. Along the way, she decided that a fake coffee shop wasn't going to help. 'I need to get out among the people, and let them piss me off. I'm always at my most creative when I'm pissed off.'

Jade could have taken one of the other exits, heading out through the subway, or the sewer, or along the docks. None of those options thrilled her. Instead she took the elevator back up to her room, and snuck out the back door. Once in her car, it was a short drive to her favorite Jet Brew, and she usually could find parking near by. When she had to look, it was her first warning something was off. That made Jade smile. 'I'll be destroying things in no time.'

The coffee shop was unusually busy for this time of day, but Jade made herself relax, since she hadn't ordered a freeze ray yet. The image from that movie, of the villain freezing everyone in line so he could be the first to get his coffee, was enough to make her smile. Funny how the suffering of others used to give her such a warm feeling. Now, it still helped bury the pain, but other things made her happy. She started singing to herself. "With my Freeze ray I will... Stop... the world."

"Wow, that's what I call a smile." Someone said, and Jade was forced back into this world. Looking, she could see it was some would be Lothario hoping to try his 'smooth moves' on her. The cup of coffee in his hand dispelled the thought that he just wanted her space in line. No, he wanted more.

Jade didn't have a freeze ray, but she did have her share of gadgets on her. From powered scissors that could reduce this jerk to a pile of sorted meats, to lipstick that would send thirty thousand volts through him with a kiss, Jade had a choice in how she wanted to end this dork. However, she might not be allowed back in her favorite Jet brew if she made a mess, so she chose something less lethal.

Smiling at him, she reached into her purse and fondled around for the right object. 'This will kill him, this will take at least one limb, total the shop, is that a pack of gum?' Jade thought as she sorted through what she had. 'Rip out his intestines. Rip out his intestines. Why the redundancy? Ah, here we go...'

Jade produced what looked like breath spray. But instead of spraying herself, she sprayed him, just a quick spritz on his wrist. 'Thirty seconds to reach the brain, and then we have action.' Jade told herself. She smirked with anticipation.

"Yo babe, whats up with the miss-shot breath spray? You should be freshening up, cause I'm gonna rock your world." He said, closing in one her, invading her space. This was getting a bit creepy, to the point where a would be hero was moving to pull the guy off. However, she was able to delay just long enough, and the thirty seconds had passed. Having counted down the time, Jade just gave him her most intimidating stare.

The spray did what it was supposed to, stimulating the fight or flight impulses in his brain while suppressing the adrenalin. His body shook with fear, unable to muster the necessary energy to be angry. Instead, he was afraid. Terrified. The poor boy almost fainted, unable to make himself run. A staggered step or two gave him a little space, but he was losing it fast. She wasn't able to continue tormenting him when a voice called 'Next.' With her glare broken, the man found the energy to run.

Jade didn't care. The moment she'd heard that voice, she'd froze. 'That voice!' Jade looked to see the source, confirming to herself the origin of that voice. Tori Vega had taken a part time job at Jet Brew.

"Vega?" Jade asked. "What are you doing here? I mean, hasn't Mason given you a contract yet?"

"Not exactly." Tori said. "I need to make a demo, and I have to pay for that myself, so I'm working here."

The Latina was doing something while she spoke, ringing up an order. "One large, Black, two sugars" Tori chirped. "That'll be three dollars."

'Maybe this is the real crime?' Jade mused as she paid the outrageous fee for her coffee. "Change." Jade said.

"Here." Tori never stopped smiling. "I know your not the type to tip. Relax, I'll bring your drink out."

Jade stared at a table full of young men until they got uncomfortable and left. She sat down just as Tori was carrying her Coffee to her. "Sorry about this, but it's my break, and most of the guys who've been in today tried to hit on me. I was hoping that you could keep them away." Tori explained as she sat down at the table.

Jade didn't answer. 'Okay, Vega is hot. I could see how that would cause the local players to come in, just to make their pitch.' Jade decided as she watched her rival. 'Wait, even the hot ones?'

"So, what've you been up to?" Tori asked.

"I got an after school job." Jade said dryly.

"Really?" Tori asked. "What're you doing? It has to be better then this place."

"I don't know." Jade replied. "I've heard some places give you a discount, and you can sit and drink coffee all day."

"I smell like coffee." Tori replied. "My first day, I couldn't get the smell off me. I showered twice, and it still clung to me. Then there's the guys hitting on me. Not just the customers. The assistant manager asked me out, and when I said no, I got the worst schedule. I almost quit, until they adjusted it for school."

"I..." Jade had never bothered to come up with a cover story. No one had bothered to ask what she was doing. Even Beck hadn't bothered. Fortunately, the writer was able to think of something quickly. "I work at a research facility. Just basic chiz. You know, getting coffee, checking to see if anyone needs anything."

"Watching as they test on the animals." Tori continued for her.

"That's sick." Jade said quickly. "First, Bunnies are cute. They deserve better then to suffer for science. Second, they don't test on ducks. I'd love to see them testing on ducks. Or people. People are fine. But..."

"Okay, okay, I get it." Tori cut her off. "No testing on animals. It was just a joke."

"It wasn't funny." Jade shot back.

"Well, as long as you're here, maybe you could help me." Tori said. "I'm writing this scene for Gradstein, and he asked me to work on my villain. I'm not sure what I'm doing wrong. Maybe he's not evil enough."

"Or maybe your trying too hard." Jade cut her off. "I think the problem your missing is that many villains don't see themselves as the villain. They have reasons, excuses, as to why they're allowed this stuff. If they want to take over the world, it's because they feel that they deserve it."

Jade shifted to get more comfortable. "Some of the scariest one, however, they don't just justify what they're doing, they see themselves as the hero. Whatever price people are paying, it's acceptable cause things will be so much better when they take over." Jade was going to continue, but Tori cut her off.

"Oh, like that guy who conquered Yerba. According to their add in Variety, they want him back." Tori smiled, proud that she'd gotten something.

"Her." Jade corrected Tori. "If you read the whole add, it's a her they want beck. And that's beside the point. Yes, they were conquered by someone, things got better. But would that person, that super villain, really want to be burdened with running a fifth rate country like Yerba? Maybe taking over small countries, improving things, and making a profit might appeal to some super villains, but is it worth the effort?"

"I...See?" Tori said, not sure where this was going.

"But Gradstien was right, it all comes down to motive." Jade said, smiling. "What makes the person do what they do? Why are they the bad guy? What makes them the bad guy? And in different circumstances, would they be seen as heroes? I mean, Yerba certainly seems to think of this girl as a hero, to the point where they're actively trying to get her to come back and retake the place."

"So my villain needs to have motives that make sense?" Tori asked. "I guess it's not gonna work to try and be the bad guy just to be the bad guy, unless being the most notorious bad guy is the goal."

"Yea, that's right." Jade replied. "Thanks Vega. Why don't you come over some time, spend the weekend. I have some other things I want to bounce off you."

Jade grabbed her drink and started walking out of the Jet brew. 'That's how I get my officers. I need a vision, something that will draw like minder individuals. Then, together, we move forward, and make things happen.' Jade was almost dancing as she made it to her car. She only stopped once to knee some guy it the nuts for hitting on her. 'I'll need to think, come up with what I want, how I want to make it happen, and start recruiting. This is gonna work.'

Once in her car, Jade pulled out a communicator and got in touch with her base. "Okay, the target is Tori Vega. She may be traveling with her sister. I want her alive. Her sister too, if with her. She's gonna help me plan things out."

Jade knew it would take more then just her giving orders, but the plan would come later. For now, she felt good. At last, she was understood what her relatives work was. She'd tried to be too much of a cutout villain, when she needed a plan, inspiration, goals. With Tori to bounce ideas off of, she'd make a much better plan. And she'd be able to trust her officers, because their goals would be hers.

"Tori, I suspect you and I will have a beautiful friendship." Jade said out loud, trying not to let the joy of this new revelation cause her to laugh. 'Tori, lets see what kind of friendship you and I will have.'

/

Tori's eyes opened, trying to get the fog out. She was lost, unsure how she got wherever she was. 'Whats the last thing I remember' She thought. 'I was on my way home, about to enjoy my first weekend off in a while, when Trina's car stalled. Some short guy walked up and asked for directions with that ridiculously high voice of his, and while Trina was trying to call for help, he tossed something into the car, there was a puff of bluish smoke, and the guy who tossed the gas took a big whiff and passed out. Trina passed out. I held my breath, trying to get out of the car, had two more guys push me back in, and wound up taking a whiff of the gas and that's when things went dark.'

Tori checked, finding her sister laying in the cot next to hers, in a small, almost featureless white room, maybe ten feet by ten feet, with a single door in one wall. The other three walls were a uniform white, glossy, almost shinny. Light came from above, where inset lights provided illumination, and no answers to why she was kidnapped. 'My god, we've been kidnapped. I wonder, have they told mom and dad yet? Are we gonna be ransomed, sold into sex slavery, forced to fight in some kind of barbaric underground gladiatorial pit for the amusement of rich people? You know what, less just assume their gonna rape us, and worry about that.'

The door opened, and a pair of short men, dressed in red and black uniforms, walked in, followed by a short man in a lab coat. Like the guy from before, Tori could tell his skin looked unhealthy, almost off color. But he walked over, checked on her, then Trina. "Five more minutes." Trina moaned. The figure seemed to be confirming their health, said something into his watch, and then led his guards out of the room. Tori had been too freaked out to say anything.

"Okay, needs." Tori said, mostly because she needed to hear something, even her own voice, to keep from freaking out. "We need a bathroom, that's gonna be important, and soon. Then, we'll need to escape, find some help, maybe something to eat, depending on how long we were out, and hope that mom and dad haven't left for Aunt Sonya's yet. I mean, dad, your a cop, why so many trips?"

There was no answer, just minutes of sitting while Trina lay on her cot, totally out of it. Tori checked to see if she had her phone, and found that the only things she and Trina had were the cloths on their backs. "Guess we should be glad they didn't strip us." Tori said, again getting only silence.

After an unknown amount of time, time Tori spent panicking, worrying about the worst things that could happen, the door opened again and two guards walked in. The guards seemed to know where she and Trina were, and kept their eyes on the girls. At the same time, two more of the guys, one dressed in white and wearing a chefs hat, walked in carrying food and a card table. The table was set up by the odd little man not wearing a hat, who then fumbled in his pocket for something, and opened a slot in the side wall (Compared to where the door was) that held a half bath. The other short man had placed the large platter of food on the table, and then walked out carrying the cover.

The smell of breakfast foods quickly spread through the room, and it woke Trina up. "Breakfast, great." Th older girl said, and she sat up and looked around. "Um, Tori, where are we?"

"Kidnapped." Tori replied. "But they seem willing to feed us, and we have access to a bathroom."

"Is there a tooth brush in that bathroom, cause if there is, I'm calling dips. We need to maintain good dental hygiene." Trina announced as she moved over to the cot Tori had been on, using that as a seat, and started eating her breakfast.

"We don't even know if that's safe." Tori complained.

"Yea, cause poisoning people totally at your mercy is what kidnappers do." Trina said, letting Tori feel stupid for thinking otherwise. Tori sat down next to her and had something to eat. "You know, Tor, this foods really good. My compliments to the chef."

"Yea, the little guy who kidnapped us can cook." Tori groused. But she ate, taking her time while Trina finished up and went to dominate the bathroom for an unknown amount of time.

After a bit, Trina walked out of the restroom smiling. "They have a small shower unit, but no clean cloths, so I decided to postpone. But, the good news is, they have a whole drawer full of toothbrushes. We're covered."

"Great, that's what I've been worried about." Tori said, frustrated at her sisters lack of worry.

"Look, sista, I'm as freaked out about this as you are. But think, worrying isn't gonna help anyone. Plus, they've treated us fairly nicely so far. I mean, yea, they might be planning on eating us, but for now, they haven't done anything to hurt or violate us, and that's a plus." Trina tried to calm her down. The older girl was smiling, speaking in reassuring voice. "So, we wait, find out what they wanted from us, then we freak out. That cool with you?"

"Yea, that's probably the best thing to do." Tori agreed.

Shortly after they finish eating, the door opened and the two small men who brought the food, along with the guards, walked in. This time, they folded the card table, and carried it and the remains of breakfast out. The guards, as always, watched the girls carefully. "Think we can take them? I mean, their smaller then us. I'll bet I weight more then either of them."

"But they have the proportional strength of a chimp." A familiar voice said, announcing the arrival of another figure. This one, familiar if not welcome, walked in as soon as the small men had cleared out the table. "They would toss you both like lawn darts. Yea, why'd they go and make those illegal, huh? Whats the fun of a gift if it can't be used to pin your neighbors cat to the lawn? Teach that scavenger to stay out of our yard."

"Jade?" Tori asked, not sure she could believe her eyes. It was Jade, dressed in her normal style, walking with an additional pair of guards behind her. 'What are you doing here? Are you behind this? What are you trying to do? Is this some kind of joke? And where the chiz are we?" Tori fired her questions off in rapid succession.

Jade pulled out a remote, pressed a button, and the wall opposite the door slid up, revealing a window with a surprising view. They were in some kind of structure, high up in the air, but not nearly as high up as the ceiling of the open area just outside the window. Tori found herself walking to that window to look out, and down. "We must be a hundred feet up." She murmured.

"Only about ninety." Jade corrected her. "The ceiling of the great room is a bit over a hundred and sixty feet high, but we only built up the offices about ten stories so far. But it's quite the view, isn't it, Vega? And this is all mine. My minions, working on the projects that will make me the best super villain in the world." Jade stopped. "Maybe master villain is better. That doesn't imply I have any kind of powers or anything. What I have is a lot of guys working for me, who are dedicated to making my dreams come true."

"What do you want from us?" Trina asked, not liking where this was heading.

"Motivation." Jade groaned. "And I need Tori. I just took you, well, I, um, shut up, okay. Just shut it, master villain speaking here."

"So now your gonna torture me until you get ideas?" Tori asked.

"You know, that doesn't sound right." Trina said.

"Yea, wouldn't you be more successful in having the ideas first? I could see you wanting to hurt me, what with you hating me and all, but how am I gonna motivate you?" Tori wondered.

Jade, by then, had shifted the cots in the room and was sitting on the one Trina was sleeping on earlier. "None of that chiz." Jade admitted. "I need someone to bounce ideas off of, someone I can trust to tell me the bad ones."

"You trust me?" Tori asked, smiling. "Wait, you kidnapped me, and my sister, so you could bounce ideas off us and use out reactions to help conquer the world?"

"If that's what I decide to do, then yes." Jade affirmed. "But I don't know yet. I've only been in the villain business a short time, and haven't figured all the ins and outs out yet. Like Yerba. I conquered them cause I had an idea, but that while thing went south in a hurry. And the worst part is, they want me back. What the chiz? I mean, how'd I jank that operation up that badly?"

"You wanted to what, punish them for the way they treated us when we were there?" Trina asked. 'That just shows you really don't know what your doing."

"Trina, careful." Tori warned. "I see a lot of them, and I'm sure she'll toss us out the window if we wazz her off."

"No, go on, tell me how I janked that up, in your opinion?" Jade pushed, smiling at Tori as she prompted Trina.

"Whats in it for me?" Trina asked.

"That depends on if I like your answers." Jade growled, hoping to intimidate the older girl. Tori was worried, but Trina just smiled.

"Nope, cause your gonna hate my answers." Trina said, confident.

"Okay, inform me, and I'll give you something." Jade waved the older girl off, like it was no big thing.

"Start by telling me why you kidnapped us?" Trina asked. She quickly amended it. "Or at least Tori."

"We ran into each other last week at the local Jet brew, and she asked me about a character she was working on for Gradstien's class." Jade started. "Along the way, I realized I was just doing the job, when a master villain needs to be inspiring others through their vision. I really didn't have a vision, other then maybe forcing Robbie to watch as I have Rex slowly put through a mulcher."

"You have the cruelty to be a master villain, but not the vision, is that what I'm hearing?" Trina asked. "Cause it's more then just that. You had Yerba, conquered and everything, and they want you back. They'd take your heavy handed rulership, cause that's the only kind they've ever had, and you made things better for them, so they want you back. And you should take control maybe through a subordinate, because ruing a country gives you legitimacy, and from what I read, every villain wants legitimacy. They want the world to accept their ideas as right. If your a conquer, you want he world to fear you, love you, whatever, but you want them to see you as a ruler. Moreover, Yerba gives you a base of operations outside of Los Angeles, and I know we're somewhere in L.A, cause you're still in school, and I doubt you'd just abandon it for some after school job as a master villain.'

Tori leaned over to her sister, whisper yelling "Why are you helping her?"

Trina laughed. "Tori, why not help." She looked at her sister, really looked, and her face went serious. "Really? You two? Think about it. Really, just think. Jade has all kinds of gadgets and minions and managed to take over a country, but hated the tedium of ruling them? She made things better, could retire based on ruling Yerba. The problem Jade has is she's a villain by profession, but not personality. Jade may have her excuses for bringing in Doctors without Boarders, but for a country with no real medical professionals left, that changed everything. And she stopped the civil war. Even ousting the Chancellor improved things. No, Jade's just doing the job. Except being a master villain is a self employed job. Jade's trying to live up to someone's expectations, when a true master villain would only try to live up to their own."

"And I thought Tori had my answers." Jade said. The goth was in awe of just what she'd missed. Trina, it seemed, had more of a grasp of Jade's motivations then she herself did. Trina understood that any government would give a criminal legitimacy, just as long as she hid the crimes she committed and started using her new position for all it's worth. 'Who knew Trina could be so insightful…'

/

The three girls sat there, looking at each other, while Trina contemplated how to turn this around. "Okay, lets get back to the point." The older girl said. "Jade, you have everything you need to be a world class threat. Heck, you said it yourself, what you lacked was the vision. To you, this was just a job. For you, it's probably a fun job, cause I can see you enjoying the pain and suffering you'd cause. But think, really think. You could disrupt the world, and yet, you don't. And yes, we've gone over how you lacked the vision, had no idea what you really wanted. But think on this. From the moment we were captured, you've never once thought about using me to threaten Tori, or vice versa."

"Thought about it." Jade admitted. "But in the end, I was more thinking of a reason to have taken you, and not what I'd do with you. I just, I wanted both of you alive, cause the boys, they just wouldn't understand….."

"Yep." Trina crowed. "You're still not sure what your doing."

"And do you even know what your doing?' Tori asked her sister.

"Yep." Trina proclaimed. "I'm recasting Jade here."

"What now?" The blue eyed girl asked, eyes narrowing with distrust.

"You said you had everything you needed, but the question becomes, what made you decide to be a master criminal?" Trina probed, already clear on where she was going.

"Honestly, a distant repetitive, Master Fearsome, and yes, I'm related to Master Fearsome, somehow." Jade gave a shrug, while her guards just looked on calmly. "But he sent me a Super, I mean master criminal started kit, including this cave, some cash, and the beginnings of his work on these minions and chiz. I… I had to use my limited knowledge of science to figure out how to activate a few pre-made clones who would follow my orders and were from the more recent science based genoese. Don't worry, those guys are still doing research, but I traded them out for guys I knew were beyo9nd loyal to me, cause I don't trust… Yea, criminals, not the kind to trust. Sides, I had no idea what Master Fearsome wanted…."

"So, you inherited the job?" Trina clarified. "That tracks. Criminal empires are often family affairs, cause of who you could trust. No, this whole thing feels like he realized he couldn't do it any ore, and handed the whole operation off to someone who he felt could." Her eyes studied the goth. "Lets be honest, you're kind of a master criminal in training, even before this guy sent you this, uh, whatever it is…"

"So, why the hell am I having such a hard time coming up with a great plot?" Jade wondered. "Not just take over the world, just… Just something."

"Why'd you sell Yerba?" Tori asked.

"Didn't I go over this?" Jade wondered.

"Go over it again." The Latina pushed.

"It wasn't much fun, running the place." Jade's voice fell as she spoke.

"Yea, and why'd you do the good you did?" Tori pushed.

"Most of that was an accident." Jade explained.

"But you didn't have to let that happen." Trina clarified. "You could have turned the whole country into a massive slave camp, made them build whatever you wanted, including statues of you. Jade, think comic books. There are master criminals who are decent rulers. They don't abuse their people, because the prosperity of their people is a reflection of their brilliance."

"Point is, you could have kept Yerba and ground them into the dirt." Tori said. "Yet, you sold them country instead. Why, I don't know, but you did that, and now, they want you back."

"And you should go back." Trina finished. "Maybe buy back the country, from the folks you sold it too, at a reduced rate, cause they couldn't hold what they bought. But you do have the leverage to buy Yerba, and use that as a power base."

"For my criminal career?" Jade perked up.

"For your anti-hero career." Trina clarified. "You're gonna use that place as a base to take over countries like Yerba, where they're just small little dictatorships ruled by a tiny cadre of loyal militants. Places with limited military value to the big players, where you can slip in and take over, and only get a token protest from the big countries."

"The Vampire Moths only live in a small region of the world." Jade sighed.

"That explains why they haven't infested the world." Tori noted.

"But you have hundreds of absolutely loyal soldiers." Trina pointed out, her hand pointing to the gathering of the stunted minions outside. "Maybe thousands. Plus, you said it yourself, you can make more."

"Yea, they're great for all kinds of chiz." jade lamented, confession her greatest regret. "But lacking free will, they need a small group of officers to tel them what to do, should something happen outside the expected."

"And you have that." Trina replied. "IN Yerba. Think. They love what you did for them. You can recruit from their military, and use those guys to lead your troupes."

"But the Yerbainian military, deeply stupid." Jade continued to protest.

"So you make the plans of conquest, and let them carry out your orders." Trina stayed calm. "And you only really need them to adapt if things go sideways, right? This gives you that much. So, why not carve yourself small little empire?"

Tori smiled. "Cause ruling is no fun." She guessed.

"Yea." Jade's head sank.

"No problem." Trina was once again ahead of her. "Just breed administrative drones. Hell, I'm betting you already have. Drones and in betweens who can do the dingy work of actually running things, with you just staying on top of chiz, in your daily briefs, so direct the whole. Betting you can work things out so your administrators functionally run the country, and you get the glory."

"Plus, you can have an appointed officer acting as prime minister, under you, who reports to you." Tori added, feeling the conversation. "So, what do you think?"

"I'm supposed to be a master criminal." Jade protested.

"Then think of this as building, making a base where you have legitimacy for your future plans." Trina argued. "And Tori and me, we'll be there, along the way, to help you refine those plans. Just, think, kay?"

"Also, if we're gonna be your sounding baords, then maybe we shouldn't be kidnapped." Tori added. "Don't worry, as of now, the only law you've broken was the kidnapping…"

"And a small list of other things." Jade cut in. "I'll get you that list."

"Whatever, we can help you, but only if we're free to come and go." Tori pushed.

"Still don't trust you." Jade hemmed.

"But you want to." Tori jumped at the opening. "You so want to. So, lets do this. Trina and me, we're gonna walk right out of here… Um., where's our car?"

"My car." Trina corrected.

"Garage, getting that engine changed out for a more environmentally friendly one." jade said. "I've managed a limited form of fusion, not perfect, but a small bottle of fuel can run your car for about two years, straight. Just, no accidents."

"No explosions the size of Pasadena?" Trina asked, sounding very concerned.

"No, it's just, the bottle holding the fuel, not as stable as I'd like." Blue eyes glanced to the side. "It might leak, and then, how would you get your car moving…"

The sisters were soon being escorted to the car. "So, we really doing this?" Tori wondered.

"Of course." The older girl said. "Our job now is to make sure Jade never makes that leap from antihero to villain. Not as hard as I'd have thought, but still… Think, she's embraced green technology. What kind of criminal is environmentally friendly?"

"The kind who doesn't decide to take over to save the world." Tori cautioned, as they made it to the car. "Just glad we never brought that up."

"We will, when the time is right." Trina said, bucking in. "Just as soon as we have another way of achieving that goal." She looked at her sister. "Think I'll have to seduce her?"

"Not sure you're her type." Tori cut her sister, falling into her sisters trap.

"Right, you'll have to seduce her." Trina smiled as they started driving out of the base. "Starting Monday, at school, your job is to bed that bitch. Tori, the whole world is depending on you."

"So, no pressure." Tori joked. 'If only I hated the idea more…'

:}

Written in several sittings years apart. So, thoughts?

My working title was Despicable Jade.