The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment and anyone else who may legally claim ownership. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter 2: Enlightenment
The afternoon sun gleamed off the dark wood in Carlisle's study as Bella stood in front of the towering bookshelves. Her eye was caught by a book on a high shelf. She stretched and brushed the bottom of the binding with her fingertips. There was no way she could reach it. She turned to ask Carlisle for help. By the time she had begun to turn, he was there reaching above her for the book. She found herself pressed against his chest. She raised her head to see him looking at her. She was caught in his intense gaze. She had the overwhelming desire to reach up and touch his face. Her heart skipped a beat. He seemed as frozen in the moment as she was. There was something in his eyes that made it very hard for her to resist her desire to touch him. A sudden noise from outside broke their locked gaze. He lowered his hand that held The Constant Gardener and she took the book from him. As Carlisle began to move away, Bella lost her balance and stumbled forward. He caught her deftly. She held tightly onto him while she regained her balance and looked intently at her hands as they clutched his forearms. "Carlisle!" Confusion was evident in her voice. "You're…" she paused as she struggled for the right word "…pliable."
Carlisle chuckled and led her to the sofa. "It must be surprising to actually feel it for yourself." He sat beside her.
She gazed earnestly into Carlisle's eyes. "How is that possible?"
"Surely Edward told you?"
Bella shook her head.
Carlisle's astonishment was clear. "He didn't tell you?"
"No, apparently he doesn't tell me much," Bella lamented.
"I'm sorry to have startled you with this. I thought you knew about me."
"You're a vampire, I know that." Bella smiled. "But Edward, he feels like stone. You don't."
Carlisle extended his hand to Bella.
She took his cold hand in hers and gently squeezed it. "You feel like flesh. You're cold, but you don't feel like ice."
"I believe you could say I'm room temperature."
"How is that possible?"
"There are two different kinds of vampires. Both date back as far as anyone can remember. My kind are the ones that most human stories are based on."
"You've touched me before and I didn't notice." Bella sat for a few moments, lost in thought. "I've made a lot of assumptions. That first time I met you at the hospital, even after you caught me when I stumbled, I assumed you were human. After I learned about vampires, I just assumed you were like Edward, that you were like stone. Even after you stitched my arm on my birthday, when you helped me down from the table, I assumed your arms were like stone. I didn't squeeze them. Every time you touched me, you were so gentle that there was no way I could have noticed a difference. Is there anything else different about your kind of vampire?" She blushed. "If it's okay to ask, I mean-"
Carlisle put the index finger of his free hand to her lips to silence her. "You know that you can ask me anything." He smiled kindly. "There are two kinds of vampires that are known to us. I am what is commonly known by the Volturi as a vampiro morbido, the others are vampiro pietra. I am yielding to the touch, I still feel like flesh. The others feel like stone. There are other differences as well. I'm cold in the way a corpse is cold, the others are much colder. I don't weigh more than a human, the others weigh more than humans. I can sleep." He chuckled. "Although, I sleep in a bed, not a coffin. The others, the vampiro pietra, can't sleep at all."
"But, I know you've stayed awake for days at a time."
"Just because I can sleep, doesn't mean that I need sleep. It's more of an indulgence. Some of my kind make it a daily habit, others sleep when the mood strikes. Personally, I sleep when circumstances allow for it. I have found that allowing my mind to shut down for a few hours can sometimes give me a fresh perspective."
"That makes sense. How else are you different from the others?" Bella questioned, her eyes alight with curiosity.
"In the sun I exhibit symptoms that mimic heat stroke." With a mischievous grin, he added, "Of course my pulse doesn't increase. Nor do I die from it. I won't burn up like the vampires of Hollywood either, but it is quite uncomfortable. It's a discomfort that I can endure. Although, I'm a bit unwell after I attempt it. The others feel no ill effects from sunlight whatsoever, they refract the light instead. It's beautiful to behold. I do not sparkle."
"I've seen that. It's kind of blinding."
"That it is." He chuckled. "Our feeding is something that is the same with both kinds of vampire, as are our eyes. So too, do we share the same stone-like indestructibility. The difference being that when the others are injured they look like cracked granite. My injuries appear much more human. Although, we both heal in the same way. Our supernatural senses, our speed, and our strength are the same. We both have the ability to attract, and to some extent, mesmerize humans. I don't know what causes the two different kinds of vampire. I changed Edward, and he is not like me. He is a vampiro pietra. However, I changed Rosalie and she is like me, a vampiro morbido. The kind of vampire one becomes appears to be random. I have yet to see any pattern or discover any information that makes me think otherwise."
"Maybe only blondes become like you."
Carlisle laughed at her teasing. "I don't think so. Marcus is like me, and he's not blond. All physical attributes are found in both kinds of vampire." Carlisle paused in thought. "I am truly amazed that Edward didn't tell you any of this."
"I think that there are a lot of things Edward hasn't told me," Bella said sadly. She glanced at the hand of Carlisle's that she still held. "You feel cold to the touch but your cold isn't seeping into me. Touching you doesn't make me cold like touching Edward does." She smiled. "That's nice." She became lost in thought for a moment. "You have such incredible control. Not only your thirst for human blood but your touch too. I can't imagine that it's easy to hide your nature from all of your patients and colleagues."
"Touching with human strength is the norm for me now. I have to consciously choose to use my vampiric abilities. However, being this kind of vampire has helped me somewhat in my life's work. If a colleague should, for example, grab my arm, they won't grasp something that feels like stone. I would have still been a doctor were I ice cold and stone-like, but it would have been considerably more challenging."
"I bet it would," Bella said with a grin. "Tell me more."
"Let me see…" he chuckled "…the Volturi have a more specific name for me than vampiro morbido. I am honored with the moniker Stregoni Benefici."
"I do know that. You are good personified, Carlisle, how could you be called anything else?"
"No, Isabella. I am no better than anyone else, human or vampire. Stregoni Benefici was meant as a good-natured taunt."
Bella squeezed Carlisle's hand. "You are all that is good, Carlisle. You have the purest soul." He began to protest, but she cut him off. "No. I won't hear a word otherwise. It's a simple fact." She looked up into his eyes and his smile took her breath away.
"Thank you," he said sincerely. He turned his gaze away from her, cleared his throat, and continued. "A great deal of historic vampire lore may be based on my kind of vampire but most of it is wrong. Garlic doesn't particularly bother me. Neither can you kill me with a stake through the heart. I am as indestructible as any vampire. If you wish to be rid of me, you will need to tear me apart, and then burn my pieces to ash."
"I don't have any plans to murder you." Bella laughed.
Carlisle's tone turned somber. "That's good to know." However, his sparkling eyes belied his serious tone.
"Crosses don't seem to bother you, either. You have your father's cross."
"No, I can't be stopped by the sight of a cross."
"Your father's cross is very beautiful."
Carlisle smiled appreciatively. "I'm glad you think so." They lapsed into a comfortable silence for a few minutes, lost in their own thoughts.
Bella shifted in her seat and spoke with a smile. "Your hand is warmer."
"It has been in yours for a while now. My skin, my flesh, will take on heat or cold as it's exposed to it, even though I don't experience much of an effect from the temperature change. And unlike Edward's, my body won't deplete you of your warmth. It will share it. Being in a warm room will do the same. I still usually feel quite cold to humans, but I'm truly room temperature."
"I noticed that sharing my heat with you, just now, didn't make me cold."
"It merely warmed me." Carlisle smiled. "Is there anything else you would like to know?"
Bella thought for a minute. "How is it that you sounded like thunder when Jasper collided with you, during that baseball game?"
"If a stone-like vampire collided with a human using that much force the human would be crushed. You might hear bones snapping accompanied by a rather unpleasant squishing sound. If they were to collide with a tree you would hear the tree crack and fall. If they collide with me I won't be damaged. It doesn't sound at all natural." Carlisle smiled ruefully.
Bella blushed and bit her lip. She looked at the floor and didn't say anything as she released Carlisle's hand.
"Is there something else?"
Bella's blush deepened as she struggled for words.
"Ah," Carlisle said with an indulgent quirk of his lips. "This is a vampire biology lesson isn't it?" Carlisle tipped her chin with his finger, drawing her eyes up to his. "I am a doctor." He notified her formally, eliciting an embarrassed smile from her. "There is no need for you to be shy. After all, how could you know if you didn't ask? Both kinds of vampires can safely engage in any sexual activity with either kind of vampire and with humans."
Bella spoke so quietly that it would have been impossible for a human to have heard her. "No. That can't be right. A vampire will kill a human if they… you know… have sex with them."
Carlisle's eyes showed his confusion at her statement. He shook his head. "No. There would be no danger to a human during any sex act with a vampire unless the vampire meant their partner harm. Sex between vampires and humans is the basis for the legends of the succubus and the incubus."
Bella said nothing for a while. She absorbed this damning truth as she willed her blush to lessen. "So, there's no such thing as a succubus or an incubus?"
"Sometimes a female vampire who has sexual relations with only humans, never another vampire, is called a succubus. In the same way that a male vampire who has sexual relations exclusively with humans is called an incubus. However, both names are more slang than phylum."
They lapsed into silence. They sat like this for a while as Bella continued to think about everything Carlisle had told her. Finally, in a timid voice, she asked the question that had been eating away at her. "Why has Edward been misleading me?" Before Carlisle could answer, Bella questioned him further. "Why did Edward make me believe that sex with a vampire would probably kill me? Why didn't Edward tell me the truth about you?"
"Only Edward can answer that." Sadness and disappointment filled Carlisle's eyes. "Why don't you ask him when he gets back from his hunt?"
"I will," Bella answered, determination prevalent in her tone.
Carlisle and Bella sat quietly for several minutes. Bella's stared unseeingly out the enormous windows, her brow furrowed in thought. She considered all that Edward had kept from her. She thought about all of his secrets, all of his lies, and about his lack of faith in their relationship. She thought too, about all that Jasper had said to her. She knew that Jasper, and most probably Alice, knew something that they weren't telling her. Before she could become angry with them for withholding information, she remembered that Edward should be the one to be more open with her.
Carlisle interrupted her disturbing thoughts by gently asking, "Would you like to read with me, to take your mind off things for a while?"
"I would," Bella declared, genuinely brightening.
Carlisle picked up the book he had retrieved from the shelves for her. "I haven't had a chance to read this one. We'll discover it together." Without further conversation, Carlisle opened the book to the first page. Bella settled more comfortably on the sofa beside him as he began to read aloud to her.
Carlisle steered his Mercedes up the drive as his ears picked out the distinct sound of a human heartbeat. He smiled. He had hoped Bella would be there. He closed the front door quietly and followed the rhythmic sound of Bella's heart. He passed silently by Edward as he sat at the piano obviously absorbed by his composing. He smiled as he saw Bella ensconced on the sofa near Emmett and Jasper. They were on the floor in front of the television busily playing a new video game.
Bella didn't notice Carlisle's entrance until she felt the sofa move as his weight settled next to her. She looked up from her book and returned his smile.
"Mrs. Blue is out of danger."
Carlisle would never break a patient's confidence or violate HIPAA regulations. That would go against all that he held sacred. The ethics of confidentiality had never really been an issue for him in the past. He had never had the desire to share anything work related in all his years as a doctor, not until recently. Ever since he and Bella had really gotten to know each other, shortly after Edward had brought her to the house for the first time, he found himself wanting to share things with her. When something went right or when something went wrong at the hospital, he found himself anticipating the next time he would see Bella, so that he could tell her about it. There was something about her unassuming nature that brought his hopes and fears out of him in a way that no one else could. He knew Edward found it strange that he talked to Bella about his work, but Bella didn't. From the first time Bella had politely inquired about his work, and refused to accept the pat answer everyone else had always been satisfied with, he felt a strong desire to speak with her. She listened to him avidly and she made valuable comments as well. Talking with her made his work somehow more satisfying, and if he were truthful with himself, it made him more content than he had been in centuries. He could not resist her genuine interest in his work. It was this that caused him to change the names of his patients so that he could speak freely about them. He would usually select something completely random, like a color or the name of an object that he saw near the patient. Although, in some cases, he would resort to naming them after whatever procedure had been performed on them. In this way, he could converse freely with Bella. Even if he had used their real names, he knew that she would keep his confidence. However, this code seemed more ethical to both of them.
Bella released a breath of thanks. "That's wonderful. I know how worried you were about her."
Carlisle grinned. His voice became imbued with pleasure; he had been waiting to tell Bella all day. "I began the new treatment last night. She responded favorably within a few minutes."
"I never doubted you. I knew you would think of something that would work."
Carlisle sobered. "We did lose Mr. Laryngoscope this afternoon."
"You were pretty sure that he wouldn't make it." Bella's voice was soft and consoling. "But, that doesn't make losing him any easier. Telling his family must have been the worst."
"It was in wife's eyes, she looked so..." Carlisle paused in remembrance "…lost. I wonder sometimes if my work is futile. I save one and lose another. I know that every patient I see will eventually make that one visit that they don't go home from."
Emmett didn't realize that it had been Carlisle's emotional turmoil that caused Jasper to make a mistake, putting him ahead in their game.
Bella spoke before Jasper could send emotional comfort to Carlisle. "I can't imagine what it's like, to be the bearer of such news. To tell someone that they're a widow. That their partner in life is gone forever." Bella paused. "What did you do then, Carlisle, when you saw how lost she looked?"
"All I could do was put a blanket around her shoulders and sit with her." He smiled sadly. "I had Jenny bring her some tea. I think it helped a bit. After she'd drunk some, I was able to convince her to give me her sister's phone number. I called her sister to come and get her. I didn't want her to go home alone. I didn't want her to face an empty house for the first time after her husband's death without someone there for her."
"Did her sister come?"
"She did. I helped her make arrangements so that she can spend two weeks with Mrs. Laryngoscope. Her boss didn't want to give her paid leave, but he did after I spoke with him. I don't think he'll be too hard on her when she gets back to work, either. She'll be here to help Mrs. Laryngoscope with the arrangements, and then to help her sort through the difficulties afterward."
"Having her sister with her should ease the transition for her, at least a little bit." Bella wanted to turn Carlisle's thoughts to something more positive. She was hopeful that her next question would do the trick. "How's Baby Yellow Rose?"
Jasper felt Carlisle's emotions improving as he spoke with Bella. He decided that Carlisle didn't need his gift.
Carlisle gave Bella a grateful smile. "She's going home tomorrow. Her parents are thrilled. They were so worried. But, now that she's made a complete recovery-"
Bella cut across him. "Thanks to your quick thinking!"
"Yes." Carlisle drew in an unnecessary breath. "Well, they are quite excited about getting her home. I think they will be a happy family."
"How are you doing on getting that open MRI machine?"
"I think I'll be going to Seattle to do some personal fundraising. If everyone in Forks contributes what they can, it still won't be enough."
"And by 'personal' fundraising, you mean covering up the fact that you'll be footing the balance."
Carlisle grinned sheepishly. "Nothing gets by you."
"Oh, I don't know about that. I just know how much you care."
"Sometimes it feels like a drop in the ocean."
"It's a drop that affects all the life in the ocean around it, and that's a big deal, Carlisle. Don't make light of what you do or of how long you've been doing it. There are some things that are beyond your control. I think you wish you could be everywhere at once and help everyone. You may be a doctor and Stregoni Benefici, but you aren't God. You do all that you can do, and you've made countless lives better for it. No human doctor can diagnose trauma as quickly as your natural senses can, there are so many ways that your unique abilities have saved lives. The combination of your intelligence, your talent, and your supernatural abilities are invaluable to everyone whose life you touch. Who knows what science will bring in the future, but you'll still be here, healing and helping when it arrives. Knowing you, you'll invent that incredible futuristic healing thing, and then let someone else take the credit for it."
"Hey!" Emmett's booming voice almost made the glass wall shake as Jasper took the lead in their game again.
Carlisle and Bella laughed at their antics. The piano music stopped abruptly. In an instant, Edward stood in front of Bella. "Come on, Bella, let's go," he ordered. "I can't do anything with the noise those two are making."
"Wait a moment please, Edward." Carlisle interjected.
In less than a minute he had gone to his study and returned with a book for Bella. He pressed it into her hands. "I believe you wanted to borrow this."
"Thank you!" Bella called over her shoulder, as Edward began leading her out the door by her hand.
"Call your father, tell him we're going to Port Angeles," Edward said tersely.
Bella unbuckled her seatbelt as Edward shifted the Volvo into park in front of Bella Italia. The drive had been one long exercise in uncomfortable silence. Edward led Bella into the restaurant and requested the table where they had passed their first date together. Having not yet been spoken to by Edward, Bella continued the silence as they were seated. The waitress, again, had eyes only for Edward. Without asking Bella's input, he ordered the same meal for her that she had eaten on their first date when she'd been supposed to dine with her friends. When the waitress left, Bella could stand it no more. She broke the tense silence. "Edward-" she began, only to be silenced by him.
Edward's voice sounded pained. "Bella, please, give me a minute."
She didn't mention that he'd had several silent minutes on the harrowing car ride here. She watched as different emotions played across Edward's features, each one seeming to cause him more pain than the previous.
Edward cleared his throat. "Bella..."
All she could hear was an unpleasant ringing in her ears. She lost track of his words as she stared at what he was fingering. She had been afraid this was coming. He had been talking about it. She really had tried to stop it from happening. She had let Edward know that she did not want to marry him. She had been distant and stand-offish. She had stopped trying to be physically romantic with him. He seemed completely oblivious to all of her efforts to cool their relationship.
Her hearing came back long enough for her to understand the words, "...my mother's ring..."
She knew that if she really were Edward's soul mate, his vampire mate as he believed, it wouldn't matter. In that case, she was certain that she would want marriage too, even though she'd been schooled against it. It wouldn't matter to her that he held one of the ugliest rings she had ever seen; she would love it because it had meaning for him. She knew in her heart that Edward wasn't her soul mate. Instead of all the feelings of love and commitment she knew she would have for her soul mate, she was filled with a cold dread. Surprisingly, this dread was not her usual aversion to the institution of marriage dread. No, she had thought that aversion through after talking with Jasper. She no longer felt that marriage needed to be avoided at all costs. She now knew that if she felt the deep connection with someone that made her want to be in their presence forever, marriage wouldn't be a problem for her. In fact, she would want it. It would be an affirmation.
She had repeatedly questioned herself. The main question being, "Do I want to spend eternity with Edward?" She could no longer imagine eternity with Edward working out very well. There was a time before she really knew him when her infatuation had been fresh, that she would have sworn that she would be happy with him forever. Now that thought was unfathomable. She needed to stop this, but she didn't want to hurt Edward. She had to act. She knew what she had to do. She knew it would cause her embarrassment, but that was a feeling she was used to. So, she did what came naturally for her. She leaned over, as if to speak to Edward, and intentionally caught her sleeve in the flame of the candle. She knew that Edward's quick reflexes could ruin her plan. To avoid his intervention, she unexpectedly veered to her left as she jumped to her feet. Then, she intentionally fell over her own chair and feigned hitting her head.
All thoughts of rings and potential marriage proposals were forgotten as Edward sped her towards the Cullen home and Carlisle's medical expertise. This drive wasn't silent. Edward had incessantly inquired about her state of health. She sighed. Regardless of the fact that Edward had attended medical school, he had never been comfortable with the field. He had never practiced medicine and he made it clear to Bella that he didn't trust himself to diagnose the common cold. He had tried medical school a second time, both times he had passed, but it never really sat well with him. He'd told her that medicine wasn't something he liked.
When they returned to the Cullen house, they walked in to find Jasper trying to get Alice to go hunting with him. Esme, Rosalie, and Emmett had already left to hunt. Edward was drawn immediately into the discussion. With Bella in the house, he always came down on the side of extra hunting. In no time, he maneuvered Alice into an agreement. Edward joined Alice and Jasper, citing that Carlisle would never be a danger to humans, but that everyone else could always use a little extra nourishment for the sake of Bella's safety. The three could be seen through the glass wall as they ran off into the woods.
Carlisle turned to Bella, concern evident his in voice and body language. "What happened, Isabella?"
Bella had heard Edward recount the incident to Carlisle in minute detail. But she appreciated Carlisle asking her directly. "It was nothing, really. I tripped over a chair."
"Did you hit your head?"
"I'm not hurt. I'm perfectly fine," she assured him.
"Good." He gave her a warm smile.
She was speechless. She couldn't believe that he had simply taken her word for the state of her health. Edward always questioned any answer she gave him. Edward always believed that she couldn't be trusted to know her own mind or body.
Carlisle's voice filtered through her inner wonder. "Would you like some tea?"
"Yes, please."
Carlisle led her into the kitchen and gestured politely for her to sit at the counter. She watched his graceful movements as he gathered what he needed. He began preparing the tea with a practiced hand.
"Do you miss drinking tea?"
Carlisle turned toward her, leaning casually against the stove. "Tea wasn't popular when I was human, not like it is now."
"Did you drink any when you were human?"
"Yes, I was fortunate to be amongst the first of my countrymen to try it. Even before it was served in Garraway's."
"What's Garraway's?" Bella had become intrigued.
"It was the first coffeehouse that I know of to serve tea in England. It was no Starbuck's. Coffeehouses back then were meeting places for professional men to discuss business, politics, current events, whatever suited them. Women would never have entered such an establishment. As a Preacher's son, I didn't frequent coffeehouses myself. But, I had a friend named Miles. We were boys together. When we met it was like Miles and I were long lost, brothers. We rarely had time to spend together, but our bond had been instant and enduring. When he was still quite young, just turned eleven if I recall correctly, he signed up on a ship. His job was mainly to swab the decks and clean up after the sailors. But the sea got into his blood. Still, whenever he came home, he would take the time to come and see me. After his first voyage to the Orient, he brought back Chá, as he called it. Tea." Carlisle's eyes glowed in memory. "Some of my human memories have faded a bit, but most are still quite clear. My memories of Miles seem to remain intact. It's thanks to him that I acquired a taste for tea, long before most Englishmen had ever heard of it."
The kettle began to whistle and Carlisle turned off the burner. Bella watched as he poured some of the hot water in the teapot and swirled it around before pouring it into the sink. "To warm the pot," he informed her with a smile. He finished making the tea and set the pot near her. He set a cup and saucer in front of her, along with all the other necessary tea accouterments.
Bella reached for the teapot but Carlisle had, of course, beaten her to it. She blushed when she realized that her hand was wrapped around his instead of the handle of the teapot. It took only an instant for her to appreciate the feel of his hand, the angular contours, the long elegant fingers, and the texture of his soft, cool skin. She found that she didn't want to let go. In fact, she wanted to touch him even more. Her eyes rose to meet his, as he looked at her through his lashes. Time stood still for Bella. Her breath hitched in her chest. She forgot to breathe as she looked into the depths of Carlisle's golden eyes. His gaze was intense and somehow intimate. She felt the pounding of her heart and heard the rushing of her blood in her ears as his lips curved into a private smile. She found herself immersed in acute awareness of him, nothing else existed in the world at that moment. Reluctantly, she drew her hand away.
"Please, allow me." Carlisle filled her cup and set the pot back on the counter.
To cover her embarrassment, Bella looked at her cup while she asked Carlisle if he'd read the newest bestseller. Her overwhelmed mind didn't process his answer. Instead, her mind conjured the memory of Carlisle's skilled hands as he worked, so strong, precise and graceful. She mentally shook herself and vowed to forget the accidental meeting of their hands. It meant nothing. Their hands had touched before.
AN:
Many thanks for your reviews of chapter one!
