The Twilight Saga belongs to Stephenie Meyer, Summit Entertainment and anyone else who may legally claim ownership. No copyright infringement is intended.
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Chapter 12: Desire
Esme closed the cupboard door and leaned on the counter. She looked up at the kitchen ceiling and smiled fondly. Carlisle and Bella were laughing. In all the decades she'd lived with him, she had never seen Carlisle so happy and free. He was completely taken with Bella, she was sure that he didn't even realize she had gotten home from the shops. The laughter tapered off and she could hear them talking. She supposed she needed to talk to them. Edward was coming home for a visit Sunday, and she was concerned about it, but she was loathed to disturb them. Carlisle had shouldered so much for all of them for decades. He had led them and taken care of them, always putting all of their needs first. He deserved this happiness.
She heard laughter again. Carlisle seemed younger. They all took the time to act and feel young, or at the very least to act the age at which they were changed. To have fun. Carlisle had never afforded himself that luxury. He would join in family activities, but he always remained somewhat reserved. With Bella he was different; his reservations were all but gone and she was so happy for him, for them. She hated the idea of bringing up the potential problems with Edward. She knew Edward, and she knew he was probably still obsessed with Bella. She smiled as realization dawned. Carlisle knew Edward as well as she did. She was sure he would have thought of this for himself. She could talk to him later after he'd had time to decide on a course of action. Then, she would help in any way that she could. Esme smiled, they were laughing again.
Bella stood and removed Carlisle's iPod from its dock. She held it in her hand and leaned against the wall of his study.
"I prefer classical when I work. It helps me focus. However, at other times, well, I think you'll find a little bit of everything there."
Bella switched his music library to sort by genre. "Wow, you're not kidding. Although, I don't see any classic country."
"Perhaps not everything." He smiled. "You won't find any jazz either. When I studied music I found that there was something to appreciate in most genres, but there are some that I really don't care for."
Carlisle stood before her and handed her a very old photo. "I've always tried to stay out of major human events. When I decided to go, I had no idea that it would turn out to be so monumental."
Bella laughed. "No way."
Carlisle nodded, the corner of his mouth crooked up in a smile. "That's me, right there."
Bella squinted at the photo. "It is you. What was it like?"
"My perspective isn't exactly typical." His eyes sparkled. "I could hear so much more, see so much more-" He scrunched his nose, she found it adorable. "I could even smell so much more. It was utterly chaotic for humans, so imagine it from my perspective. I loved every minute of it, except the sun. I'm sure I looked very sick when the sun shone. It was worth the sickness. When it got to be too much, which unfortunately it did at times, I had a tent in which to find shade."
"You know, now that I think about it, I can see it. You, peace and love, yeah it fits. Peace and love are very you, Carlisle."
Carlisle laughed. "In that belief, you stand alone. No one thought I should go. Although, with Alice, it was just my attire that she didn't appreciate. When I returned everything I owned had been replaced with custom-made, designer Italian suits, men's haute couture of the time." He shook his head. "I'll never understand Alice's obsession with clothes.
"I don't know… I kind of like the way you look here." Bella smiled mischievously. "All faded and crumpled, and your tousled hair is amazing."
"Alice did not like it. I ignored her, I needed to blend in. I wanted to dress like Paul McCartney. When I got home, I ended up being dressed like Harold Wilson. He was a fine PM, but not very hip."
Bella looked earnestly at Carlisle. "In his prime, Sir Paul couldn't begin to compare to you, no matter how badly you might have been dressed."
Carlisle smiled. "I'm glad you think so."
Bella's expression became troubled as she studied the photo. "You are surrounded by half a million people, but you look so alone."
"Rosalie had no interest, and I couldn't exactly take someone who would sparkle in the sun."
"I imagine history would remember things very differently if you had. But, still…" Bella extended a finger and caressed the tiny image of Carlisle in a sea of people. "All that love; yet, you were alone."
Carlisle chuckled. "I went for the music."
"I wish I could have been with you." She gave Carlisle a teasing smile. "I would have been barefoot. I would have worn a headband and low rise jeans... torn in all the right places. I would have had on a short, very loosely gathered top so I could feel the breeze beneath it; because of course, I wouldn't have been wearing anything under it."
Bella was becoming bolder and Carlisle liked it. His eyes gleamed. "I would have wrapped my hands around your bare waist and guided you into the mud. I would have kissed you, touched you, for three days and nights straight. I wouldn't have heard any of the music or seen any of the chaos. It would all have just been a backdrop for you, only you. It would have been so much better."
"Hmm, I like that. I wish it could have been. Tell me about it."
"There's not really anything to tell that you probably haven't already read in history books." The corner of his lips quirked up as his eyes moved up from the photo to her face again. "You are as insightful as you are beautiful. You're right, I was very much an outsider looking in. Still, it was amazing to observe. It was more than an expansive concert as I'd expected. The people found more, made more of it than it was. It seemed to be the birth of a counterculture. Which made an impact on a vampire who couldn't conform to culture in all the normal ways." He smiled. "Everyone was doing the same thing, living, being, but each in their own unique way. Somehow, everyone all fit together despite their differences." He stopped talking and tried to catch Bella's eye. He smiled and caressed her cheek with his knuckles. "What are you thinking?"
"Carlisle." His name was said on a wistful exhale. "Show me how you would have kissed me in the mud."
His eyes darkened as they held hers. She could barely breathe under the intensity of his gaze. Slowly, purposefully, he leaned in towards her, lowered his head and brushed her lips with his. It was a teasing, barely-there caress. His talented surgeon's fingers traced a line from her neck down her shoulder and arm to clasp her hand with his. As he leaned towards her, his other hand supported his weight on the wall beside her head, causing her breath to hitch in recognition of their differences. She was dwarfed by his height, his broad square shoulders, and his overpowering presence. As she took in his breathtaking masculine beauty, her heart began to pound. He released her hand and wrapped that arm around her waist pulling her body to his.
"Isabella," he breathed, as his mouth placed delicate kisses down her jaw and around to the tender spot behind her ear. He rejoiced as she arched her neck exposing herself to him, trusting him with her very life's blood as it thrummed with her desire. That thought alone, her knowing all that he was, and still trusting him so completely and without reservation, almost made him come undone without any further physical stimulation. He tore his lips from her throat and rested his forehead against hers. He took a shuddering breath and moved to whisper in her ear. "May I take you away from here?"
"Please."
Carlisle's iPod and photo slid unnoticed to the floor as he scooped Bella up, cradling her to his chest and leaped gracefully out the window.
By the time her brief disorientation passed, Carlisle had them parked in the Mercedes at the end of the grassy remains of an old road. They were deep in the woods, several miles from the Cullen home.
Before she had time to process anything else, he had her seat maneuvered all the way back and down. He moved across the console and was above her. His weight suspended on one arm as he lowered his face to hers. They kissed as if the change of place hadn't interrupted them. His tongue sensually stroked the inside of her mouth. Her arms came up around his neck as she tried in vain to pull him down to her.
"Carlisle," she breathed, moving her mouth to kiss his throat. "Please." She tugged on him and this time he gave, lowering his body to hers. She smiled against his skin. She delighted in his weight on her as it pressed her into the supple leather seat.
Carlisle's eyes glittered with need as he watched Bella. Her hands were shaking as they moved to unbutton her white eyelet blouse. He placed his hand over hers and stopped them. Her heart fell as she anticipated the rejection in his eyes. Moments passed in stillness and silence. When she finally dared to look up at him, in his eyes she saw desire and a silent request for permission to continue what she had begun. Her heart soared, and it showed in her eyes. He correctly interpreted her and in an instant all her buttons were open, and the soft cotton of her blouse fell apart, revealing her simple white lace bra.
She inhaled sharply as he touched her. The feel of his hands on her bare skin made her head light. She fought to focus, she wanted to touch him too. She fumbled with the buttons on his shirt. He gazed at her in wonder before he moved to give her more room to accomplish her task. She trembled as she undid his shirt, giving him time to remove his cufflinks. When she finally opened the last button, he gracefully shrugged the shirt off his shoulders. It fell unheeded beside them.
His eyes met hers as his fingers opened the front clasp of her bra. She held his smoldering gaze. She felt the back of his fingers caress her delicately before he smoothed his palms across her. "Isabella, you are exquisite." He didn't hesitate. He bent his head to taste that which had been hidden from him for so long. His soft silken hair teased her as he placed kisses on her heated flesh. He swirled his tongue around her, licking, tasting, sucking.
Bella whimpered and arched her back. Without thought, she opened herself to him. Never ceasing his worship of her skin, he settled himself precisely at the juncture of her spread thighs. Her gasp was felt more than heard through his low moan as he pressed himself against her.
Her hands wandered to the waist of his trousers. She felt a heady power as he allowed her access. He wanted her. The grin that thought had begun to illicit transformed into a needful breath that resembled his name when his hands replaced his mouth on her body. She shuddered in delight as he trailed his mouth up her chest to her throat. At the feel of his breath, his lips, his tongue on her throat and around her ear, an aching pool of excitement filled her abdomen. Just as she freed the button of his trousers, he received a text. He picked up the offending device and looked at the screen.
Alice: Tell her it's the hospital.
Carlisle: Why?
Alice: Just do it.
He was beginning to become annoyed.
Carlisle: Is there something urgent necessitating your request that I lie to Isabella?
Alice: Yes! No. Fine, just tell her I need her here, now. Because I do. Or would you rather deflower Bella in the front seat of your Mercedes?
He sat up on his knees.
Alice: I didn't think so. Get back to the house. You're taking her out. I have it all setup, including the best suite at Alexis Seattle. Do you have any idea what I had to do to get you a last minute reservation in July? Never mind. That hotel is an appropriate place for Bella's first time. Close your mouth and move or you'll be late! I'll send the details so you can ask her yourself. For heaven's sake, Carlisle, let her believe that this was all your idea. Now make an excuse and get back here!
Carlisle reached out and caressed Bella's reddened cheek as his eyes sought hers. His voice was deepened by their passion. "Alice urgently requests your presence."
"Why?"
"I believe she stopped me from doing something that we would both regret later."
"You could never do anything that I would regret, Carlisle."
He reached down to right Bella's clothes, smiling affectionately into her eyes as he did so. When he finished, he rested his forehead on hers. His voice was soft and melodic when he spoke. "We better get you to Alice, before she comes here."
Bella's frustration was obvious. He found it enchanting.
When they got to the house, Alice was bursting with excitement. "Come on!"
Bella was confused. "Alice, where, what's going on?"
"We only have a couple of hours to get you ready-"
Alice was interrupted by Carlisle's chuckle. She glared at him.
"Alice, may I ask her first?"
"Twenty minutes and I want her back. Right here, Carlisle." Alice was stern. "Twenty minutes and I come get her."
Carlisle held his hand out to Bella. "Walk with me?"
Perplexed, she went to him. "Of course."
They meandered by the river, her arm linked through his. After just a few minutes he spoke quietly. "Your father has gone fishing for the weekend. He won't be by to see you."
Bella nodded.
"I'd like to take you out."
She smiled. "I'd love that."
"Of course we'll have to get home before Edward gets here Sunday afternoon."
Bella did a mental double take. Her mind checked the day of the week. Right, it's Friday. Her heart rate escalated. She tried to sound casual. "What do you have in mind?"
Carlisle moved in closer. His hands went to her waist and pulled her to him. "Seattle."
"Okay."
"Dinner." He teasingly kissed her cheek. "A film." The other cheek wasn't neglected. He pressed a lingering kiss on the left side of her throat. "Dancing." He moved to her ear and kissed the shell, his breath washed over and in her ear as he whispered, "Breakfast in bed."
Bella was startled as his head suddenly dropped to her shoulder. " Your breakfast, not mine." He clarified, laughing at himself. "Room service."
She couldn't curb the breathiness his kisses had caused as she replied. "I knew that." She was filled with a nervous excitement at the thought of being with Carlisle in a hotel. She ran her hand through his flaxen hair and smiled as she settled it on the back of his neck. She thought he might be blushing if he were human. She was enthralled. He raised his head and their eyes met.
They stood still, making no sound. A deep warmth crept through Bella as she looked into the golden eyes of Carlisle Cullen.
It was time for them to head back to Alice, but somehow, they were drawing closer instead of parting. It was a pull neither could deny. As they drew even closer, she could almost taste his breath on her face. Carlisle closed the distance and their lips touched. Her every thought and her feelings were completely overcome by the man before her. Soon the chaste touch became more. At the feeling of Carlisle's lips worshipping her, Carlisle's arms tightening around her possessively, she gasped against his mouth. His soft blond hair tickled her forehead. She moved her hands to caress his high cheekbones on the way to burying them in his irresistible hair.
He moved to end the kiss, but she held him to her, causing him to moan with want. Then, as if in surrender to some unseen force, he pulled her back to his body, even more firmly than before. Their lips opened together, their kiss was one of desperate give and take. Bella's world spun away; she was swept along by a current of whirling waves of pleasure and desire. Carlisle Cullen was the cause and her only anchor.
When she felt the sensuous mix of their hot and cold tongues caressing each other, the overwhelming feelings somehow intensified and her knees became weak. He supported her as they continued to kiss. Their fervent kisses sent shocking thrills through her entire body. When they finally drew apart, ever so slightly, she immediately sought his eyes with hers. She was taken aback by the powerful emotions she saw in their darkened depths. She drew in a sharp breath and pulled his face back to hers...
Alice's voice was like a bucket of ice water. "Isabella Swan put Carlisle down this minute! We have to get you ready."
Bella groaned in frustration and then smiled against Carlisle's lips, Alice had said this to her before.
Reluctantly, they ended their kiss. They rested, their foreheads touching, as they sought to control their desires and release each other as Alice demanded.
Bella sat in lace tights and the designer dress Alice had raved about since she had wrenched her from Carlisle's arms to get her ready. Moving only her eyes to keep still under Alice's ministrations, she glanced at the overnight bag Alice already had packed for her. Knowing she'd only have its contents for her weekend with Carlisle, she wondered what was in it.
Alice scolded her as she put the finishing touches on her make-up. "Your date will begin in the evening, so I don't want to hear any complaining about your look. I always enhance your natural beauty. I don't like to overdo your makeup. But, evenings call for a slightly more dramatic look. It's nothing heavy. Just smoky eyes and kiss-me lips. She handed Bella a mirror and moved behind her to finish her hair. It was already arranged in a sweeping updo. Alice was pulling some tendrils down to frame her face. "Now for the shoes!"
Bella stood as Alice flitted to the closet. Bella couldn't help but worry as Alice approached with a shoebox, an enthusiastic grin on her face. She abruptly stopped mid-step. She crushed the shoebox in her hands.
"Alice, what is it?"
"Oh no! I didn't see it."
"Alice, wha-"
Even Bella's human ears could clearly hear Emmett's booming voice coming from downstairs. "Look who I found in the woods!"
Alice unceremoniously ripped the Battenburg lace trimmed, Temperly dress from Bella's body. The shredded fabric fell to the floor. Alice pulled a blue, long sleeve tunic over Bella's head and pushed her down on the bed. Alice was so fast that Bella felt, rather than saw, her pull a denim skirt up her body. In a blur, Alice went to the closet and back and was putting brown boots on Bella's feet. Bella caught her reflection in the mirror over her dresser as Alice pulled her from the room. Her hair and makeup looked particularly glamorous with her casual attire, and her tunic flowed sensuously over her body, hugging and accentuating her curves in all the right places. She smiled and hoped Carlisle would like it.
As they descended the stairs, she could make out low voices coming from the sitting room. When they rounded the doorway, she could hear the conversation. She was surprised to hear Edward speaking in a defensive tone.
"I wasn't in Forks, Carlisle. I was across the town line. I was waiting. I wouldn't have crossed the line until Sunday."
"I had to practically drag him here," Emmett explained.
Alice pulled Bella into the room with her. She surreptitiously let go of Bella she passed Carlisle. She continued on and closed the distance to Edward after leaving Bella beside Carlisle. As Alice hugged Edward she noticed Carlisle moving infinitesimally closer to Bella.
Carlisle looked at Bella and gave her a tight smile before his gaze returned to Edward.
"It's good to see you, Edward." Carlisle's voice was cool. His inner voice wasn't as detached. Son.
"I can't tell you how much I regret what happened, Carlisle."
"I never doubted that." Regret couldn't have brought Isabella back, you almost killed her.
"I worked nonstop on my control the entire time I was in Rochester. Please, Carlisle..."
"That's admirable, Edward." Carlisle's emotions were running high, trying to take the forefront of his mind. He had to work to keep them from breaking into his surface thoughts, mentally he began a recitation. "Of Engelond, to Caunturbury they wende-"
"Carlisle, why-" Edward was cut off as Rosalie flew into the room and his arms.
"It's so good to have you home!"
When Rosalie released him he found himself in Esme's embrace. "I've missed you so much, dearest."
Edward's eyes focused on Bella over his adoptive mother's shoulder. As Bella watched their reunions, she wished she was anywhere else.
As if by some unspoken understanding, everyone simultaneously sat around the room. Esme sat by Edward and held his hand, her maternal affection creating a warm glow on her pale face. Rosalie and Emmett sat on Edward's other side. Carlisle chose the sofa directly across from them. Alice drew Bella to sit between herself and Carlisle as she perched on Jasper's lap.
The room was eerily silent. Emmett caught Bella's eye and smiled encouragingly at her. He broke the tense quiet, reaching over his wife to punch Edward on the arm. "How's the game in New York?"
Edward finally pulled his gaze from Bella to look at Emmett. He gave Emmett a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "The same as always."
"You'll be moving with us when Bella's changed in a few months, right, bro? There's gonna be some tasty bears!"
"That's up to Carlisle."
Carlisle didn't hesitate to speak the truth. "Of course I want you with us, Edward." I've missed you, Son." The fear of losing Edward permanently due to his love for Bella, and hers for him, tried to make it's way to the surface of his thoughts. He cut it off and returned to his mental recitation. "And made forward erly for to ryse…" Carlisle looked at the faces of his family, Esme, Rosalie, Emmett, Alice, and Jasper; Bella. Finally, he spoke. "We all want you with us."
Rosalie glared at Bella. "You didn't banish Jasper when he almost killed her."
Carlisle's voice was quiet and admonishing. "Rosalie."
"What? It's true! Jasper tried to kill her and you didn't punish him. Why are you punishing Edward?"
"I'm not punishing anyone. I am trying to keep Bella safe, to keep us all safe. We didn't come back until Jasper was more controlled."
"Exactly!" Rosalie's raised her voice. "We left her. Why is she here and Edward is gone?"
Esme's voice was sharp. "Rose, enough! Bella is as much a part of our family as any one of us."
Jasper's attention became fixed on Bella. She was becoming increasingly distraught, and he could feel it.
Bella's thoughts were focused on Carlisle. She couldn't be the end of his family. He had been alone for so long, and each member of his family was a balm to his aching soul. Individually, each was a piece that his life had been missing; he brought them together and worked unceasingly to keep his family whole. Against all odds, against their very nature, his amicable and compassionate heart had succeeded. She couldn't be the ruin of that. He had been alone for too long. She couldn't be a wedge between him and his family. Rosalie was already fighting with him. She was sure it would be ugly when Edward and Rosalie found out about her relationship with Carlisle. She could not let that happen. She could not tear apart everything Carlisle had built for them.
She wanted to speak up and tell them she would go, but she knew they would all protest. Well, all except Rosalie. She could leave when they weren't expecting it. She mentally shook her head. She knew that wouldn't work. Even if by some quirk of fate, she did make it around Alice's vision and all their preternatural senses, and it did work, how could she live all the years ahead of her without Carlisle? She thought of the long years of loneliness, just waiting for her mortality to end them. What a futile life it would be, years and years alone just waiting for death.
Her thoughts unwillingly went down a dark path. She could end it. She could give Carlisle his perfect family back. She idly wondered how she could pull it off. It wasn't an easy thing for anyone to accomplish, even without vampires near them. It would have to be something human medicine couldn't fix. It would have to be something that venom couldn't reverse either. She could step in front of a train, nothing could fix that. However, she knew she couldn't leave that burden on a train driver's shoulders. She considered so many ways, but all of them had an out, a fix, even if it wasn't a likely fix. She had to find a way that was impossible to fix. Then she thought of one. A boat, the middle of the ocean, diver's weights…
"NO!"
Bella looked up at Alice and Edward's simultaneous shouts. They were on their feet; Jasper was on his knees. Clearly, Alice had seen her musings, Edward had seen them in Alice's mind, and Jasper had felt their distress.
Alice was frantic, her beautiful voice bordered on hysterical. "You want to protect him, to spare him pain? Bella this would destroy him completely!" Alice grabbed Bella and shook her. "Do you know what this would do to him? Would you damn him to an eternity of blinding, paralyzing pain? Because that is exactly what you would do to him!"
Somehow, through the powerful emotions in the room, Jasper made it back to his seat. He tried to send out calm, despite the overwhelming feelings all around him.
In the same instant, Carlisle had pulled Alice's hands off Bella and was gently soothing where Alice had applied bruising pressure.
Edward's voice was pained. "Alice, what was that?"
Alice looked at Edward. "You know what it was, Bella was considering taking her own life to end this conflict." There were shocked reactions from the others in the room.
"I saw that in your mind, Alice. I'm asking what you meant. Who would Bella destroy by dying? I know it wasn't me you were thinking of, but I couldn't tell who-"
"Think, Edward." Alice paused, the look on her face made it clear she thought Edward should know the answer and she was waiting for it to occur to him, when in actuality, she was just trying to stall; so she could think of an answer for him that wouldn't out Carlisle and Bella just yet. She was amazed that Edward had missed seeing Carlisle and Bella's relationship in her mind during the seconds she'd been lost to her vision. She thought that he must have been too focused on the vision of Bella killing herself to look any deeper.
Edward still looked puzzled.
Keeping Edward from her thoughts, Alice found her solution. "Charlie! It would destroy him. How could any father live with that? It would destroy us too." She looked at Rosalie in an attempt to obfuscate. She hoped Edward hadn't paid enough attention to her words. She had said Bella would damn him to an eternity of blinding, paralyzing pain, Charlie was mortal. "Even you, Rose, if Bella hurt herself it would devastate us all. There's no way our pain and loss wouldn't touch you too."
Carlisle reached out and took Bella's hands in his. "Isabella?"
"No." She shook her head. "No, Carlisle, I wouldn't." The room, the family fell away, she saw only his golden eyes. Eyes that were filled with fear. He was afraid for her. He was afraid to lose her. She reached up and touched his cheek. "I would never do that. It was a passing thought, not a decision. I wanted to make everything better, so badly, and I couldn't think how. It just floated up in my mind, the thought that if I wasn't here you'd all go back to being as happy as you were before all of this, before me. It's not something I would do. It was an unintentional thought. I don't even know why Alice saw it. I don't want to be the cause of more problems. Your family, Carlisle, they are everything to you. I made a decision to try to help, or at least not to be the cause of any more tension. Alice must have picked up on that and caught the other unintentional thoughts." Her eyes filled with tears at the thought of bringing pain to Carlisle. "I promise. I swear it's nothing I would ever do."
Carlisle's wise, beautiful eyes were brimming with fear as they desperately searched Bella's for the truth.
"Never, Carlisle. Never. I didn't mean it. I swear to you... I just don't want to be the cause of more fighting."
Carlisle smiled tenderly. His voice was filled with meaning as he repeated her words to him. "There is no fight."
She smiled in remembrance of the morning they admitted their feelings to each other. She was glad that Edward couldn't read her mind. Her hand, still on Carlisle's cheek, caressed him. Carlisle's voice was soft and sincere. "If they can't accept it, then they aren't really my family."
In the forefront of her mind, Esme was meticulously designing a house so that Edward wouldn't see her thoughts or motivations. Behind that, she hoped she could do some damage control and avert an immediate problem with Edward. She joined Bella and Carlisle and put her arms around them both. "I know you didn't mean it, Bella. Alice has had visions based on things I never meant to think too. It happens sometimes. That was just a particularly disturbing thought." She glanced at Alice. "Of course Alice was terribly upset by it. And Carlisle has dedicated his existence to saving lives, it's natural that he would be distraught at the thought of someone we all love doing such a thing. We do all love you, and that was a horrific thought your subconscious conjured up. Don't worry, dear, we all believe that you didn't mean to make that decision or even seriously consider such a thing. We all love you, Bella, and we all want to work this out, together. This is your family, too. We're all family together, equally." Esme kissed Bella's cheek as she discretely shifted her position to shield her next movements. Unseen by anyone else, she removed Bella's hand from Carlisle's face and separated their other hands that were clinging to each other.
"Drama." Emmett groused, causing Bella to blush and Carlisle to shake his head, an amused smile finding its way to his eyes. Everyone else, except Rosalie and Edward, laughed.
Esme rose and walked to the door. Her voice was stern. "Rose, come with me, please."
Alice sat between Jasper and Bella, effectively pushing Bella up against Carlisle as the sofa was a bit small for four. Jasper smiled at the emotions he felt coming from Carlisle and Bella. Edward watched in confusion. Before he could ask Jasper about his syrupy grin, Emmett challenged him to a video game.
Wanting to spend as much quality time as he could with his family, he agreed.
It wasn't a comfortable time. Alice and Jasper tried to lighten the mood. Carlisle allowed Edward to read his affection for him in his thoughts, although he couldn't stop the incident that precipitated this whole night from filtering through. It was, however, tempered by his compassion. His fear for Bella's life that night was a constant theme, but it was also quite clear that he forgave Edward. That he still loved Edward. Edward knew, from Carlisle's thoughts, that Carlisle wanted him home. Carlisle was just too afraid that Edward's temper might get the best of him again. He couldn't take that chance while Bella was still human. As much as he wanted to, Edward couldn't blame him.
The intense fear for Bella's well being coming from Carlisle saddened Edward. He hated himself for losing Carlisle's trust, especially where Bella was concerned. He was deeply ashamed. He had disappointed Carlisle, the man he respected more than any other.
A few minutes later, the awkward silence was broken by Carlisle suggesting that he make Bella's dinner.
Rosalie stopped Carlisle as they passed in the doorway. "Is it a problem for Edward to stay through Sunday, when he was supposed to come, anyway?"
Carlisle's brow crinkled. He had all the days off, days he had intended to spend with Bella. He would be there, as she had requested he be when Edward was present. "Of course not." His voice betrayed none of his strain, but Bella could see it in the minute changes in his movements as they resumed their walk to the kitchen.
Alice and Jasper exchanged a look. Alice had seen this was the way it had to happen. It's why Alice had suggested that Carlisle and Bella kept their relationship a secret from Edward. An announcement would have ended badly.
Edward was confused as he watched the man he revered and the woman he loved commune in some unspoken way that he, and apparently everyone else, couldn't understand. He wondered when they had become so close.
The next day, Edward began to notice more.
The way Bella and Carlisle stood just a little too close to each other.
When they sat, Alice was usually on Bella's other side, forcing Bella closer to Carlisle and neither seemed to mind the fact that their sides and legs were squished together. He would have thought that one of them would move to one of the many empty places to sit, to find more room.
The way the touch of their fingers would linger when one passed something to the other.
The way Bella's heart rate and respiration increased when Carlisle called her Isabella.
That afternoon, Carlisle had taken a call from the hospital in his office. He had seemed reluctant. Almost like he was willing to compromise confidentiality so that he might stay in the room. Edward cringed at the thought that Carlisle trusted him so little. It was only when he emerged from his office that Edward noticed something amiss.
Carlisle was smiling and enthusiastic about the weather. The thunder was rolling in and they were headed out to play baseball. Carlisle's laughter reached his eyes, his movements were easy. He was obviously happy. Then it happened. Bella stood and walked straight up to him, putting herself in his personal space. She looked up at him and whispered soberly, "Carlisle, what's wrong, what happened?" Carlisle's face fell. Bella reached out and took his hand. "Danny?" Carlisle took a deep, albeit unnecessary, breath and nodded. "Oh, Carlisle." Bella's eyes filled with tears as she gently tugged Carlisle's hand. Edward watched as Carlisle moved into her embrace.
Edward felt Esme sit beside him. "Danny was a little boy in Carlisle's care."
Edward sent his father a censuring look.
"Don't look at him like that, Edward. You know how strict he is about patient confidentiality. You know he maintains a professional distance.
"Danny was one of those special cases. He turned four last week. He's been in the hospital for months. His parents took him to specialists, but there was nothing they could do there that Carlisle couldn't do here. They preferred to have their son in Forks, their home.
"Carlisle spent a considerable amount of time with Danny. He talked to him and got to know him well. Danny asked Carlisle if he could meet Bella. He liked the sound of her name when Carlisle spoke of her.
"His parents agreed. They told Carlisle that she, and any of his family, was welcome to know about Danny and meet him. They liked the idea that Danny would have company when they had to work. Of course, it was Bella who went. Even though the small epidemic had mostly passed, Carlisle wouldn't take any chances. Bella's still compromised from her partial splenectomy. He made Bella wear a mask and scrubs until she got to isolation where Danny waited for her. Danny wasn't contagious; but in isolation, Carlisle could be certain that Bella wouldn't catch anything. You should have seen Bella's face when Carlisle told her she had to wear a mask." Esme smiled.
Edward nodded his understanding. His eyes were still on Carlisle and Bella's embrace. He wondered why he hadn't noticed that there was something wrong after Carlisle's call, why it was only Bella who knew Carlisle well enough to tell something was wrong when even gifted vampires couldn't see past Carlisle's false cheerfulness.
Esme had persuaded the family to play ball without Bella and Carlisle, the two who knew the boy well. When they returned early that evening, they found Carlisle and Bella reading together in front of the fire. It was a completely innocent scene, of course, they were close, they were sharing a book. Carlisle looked up and smiled. He inquired about their game. He and Bella both laughed as Esme recounted their funnier hijinks.
As evening approached Alice announced she was going shopping and she wanted Bella to ride with her. She told them Bella needed to get out, and that she knew Bella would be happy sitting in the Porsche reading while she was in the stores.
It had been a difficult day, and Bella felt herself begin to drift off as she waited for Alice to get ready to go.
Not long after they left, Carlisle's pager went off.
This is confidential, Cullen.
Edward read the page in Carlisle's mind. From the abrupt tone, he knew it had to be Dr. Snow.
"I have to take this," Carlisle said and moved at vampire speed to get out of the range of the other's gifts. He opened his phone to call Dr. Snow, only to get another page before he could dial.
It was me, Alice. Bella will be waiting for you on the southern slope of Mount Barnes, at the trailhead. It will be deserted. I'll wait with her until you get here, and I'll pick her up later, to take her home. You'll have two hours together if you leave now.
Carlisle left without delay.
Edward thought nothing of it until Alice and Bella returned later. Alice had tried to whisk Bella to the shower, having no idea Edward would make a snap decision to try to talk to Bella while he thought Carlisle was still at the hospital.
Edward stood before Bella and didn't acknowledge Alice who was hovering nervously behind her. He hung his head and spoke quietly. "I know you forgive me, Bella, but I just want to say-" He took a deep breath to say whatever was on his mind, but he never got there. His eyes widened and his nostrils flared. "Why do you reek of Carlisle?" He took a step closer.
Alice moved to Bella's side.
"I sat near him earlier." Bella cringed. It sounded more like a question than an answer.
He took a step closer. "It's strong, too strong for just sitting, it's fresh and it's..." He looked her up and down. "All over you." His face twisted into a look of disgust. "You are covered with him. He's everywhere on your body."
Carlisle chose that moment to come in the door. Edward's head whipped to him. In an instant, he was in front of his sire. "You." Edward inhaled again. "You are covered in Bella's scent."
Edward's irate voice had drawn the family. Jasper stood beside Bella. Esme and Emmett flanked Carlisle. Alice and Jasper were surprised by Esme and Emmett's apparent understanding. Rosalie stood to the side trying to put it all together.
Edward flew at Carlisle slamming him into the wall and wrapping his hands around his throat. Carlisle made no move to defend himself. Edward's voice was deranged. "Did you defile her? Did you steal her innocence?"
