Getting into his Tahoe was slightly painful.
His pants straining to hide his growing erection. He wanted her now. But he still had a hotel lobby to walk through. A lobby that was possibly still filled with many people who'd recognize his face. He had to calm himself and he had about 10 minutes before he'd reach the hotel.
The traffic helped distract him from his bulging predicament. It would be enough to steal the joy from anyone.
Sara was right. The traffic around here is no joke. Sara…
Just saying her name. It rolled right off his tongue with ease. Like the name was meant to belong there. With him. A name he could call for years to come.
Stop it Gil. Just drive.
He had lost her car in the traffic so he wasn't sure if she was in front of him or behind her. The parking garage was huge. He planned to parked on the 3rd level hoping that maybe she would have used similar logic and she'd be there. Turning through the lanes of the garage, his lights shined on the automatic doors just in time to catch her walking into the 1st level lobby.
Holy hell, she drives fast. How did she beat me by that much.
He parked his SUV quickly, and made his way through to the lobby. He kept his head down just reciting her room number over and over again.
327…327…327…327…
Looking up he noticed the lobby was still filled with quite a few people. The hotel bar was still open and hopping. Normally he'd not pay attention to the patrons enjoying their drink dates, but tonight felt different. He smiled at the happy couples. If in a way feeling as if he was one of them. On his way to meet his lady. Till his smile dropped as he noticed the make up of the couples enjoying their drinks.
Many young-similar-aged couples enjoying their drinks. Only a couple or two standing out among the rest by their drastic age difference. Had they always stood out this way to him or was it just now? Now that he knew Sara had to be significantly younger than him. His stomach twisted and he put his head down the rest of the walk to the elevator. He knew she was younger by her looks, but he never considered by how much.
While he stood in the elevator alone - it felt as if he wasn't. His mind in a mental tug of war of what he should do.
It's not like they're dating. It's just one night…
But still, does he even know how much older than her he is?
Does it really matter? Is there a cutoff you're saying you'd be okay with?
I don't really know. But why would she want him. He's way older than her?
It's not just about age. They have a real connection.
But do they really? Or is it just lust?
SO WHAT IF IT'S JUST LUST?! Let the man be.
It's not right. It should mean more than that.
This is real. Trust your gut.
I can't.
While he had hoped the elevator mind would clear his thoughts of the couples in the lobby, it only clouded his feelings further. He wanted her. There was no doubt to that. He knew she wanted him too. But was that enough?
He wasn't sure how long he'd been standing at her door before it opened on it's own. Sara standing there, still dressed from their dinner date. Flashing a smile.
"I thought I might have heard you. Why didn't you just knock?" She looked to the exterior of the door as if she was expecting to see his reason posted.
His half-hearted smile was not fooling her. The confident man that not long ago had her pinned against her car, grinding his erection into her was long gone. He stood with his hands in his pockets, shoulders slightly hunched forward. The fierce blue that was burning in his eyes not more than 20 minutes ago was now dull. Sad and confused. He closed his eyes and sighed.
"Sara, how old are you?"
"What? Why?"
"We talked about a lot of things tonight, but neither of us mentioned the our ages."
Confused and somewhat hurt. She felt their conversation and steamy exchange in the parking lot had gotten them past the age barrier.
"Well, it's not like I'm under 18…"
His jaw clenched. He was serious and wanted an answer.
"I'm 35. More than old enough to understand my actions." she snapped back.
"I don't think I can do this."
"Because you're older than me? Gil, age is just a number. I know what I'm doing…I know what I want. Why isn't that enough?"
"It's not just that. Sara, please. I just can't."
Looking into his eyes she could see it wasn't just about the number. There was something else. Something that made him afraid. Her frustration softened to understanding.
"Look, I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have jumped the gun, I should have been more careful…I…" he stammered off.
She stopped him by grabbing his arm from his pocket and held his hand.
"Hey. Stop. It's okay. I'm sorry - I shouldn't have reacted that way. It's just that, I really did feel connected to you. Gil, you're amazing. You're smart, you're funny, you're sweet."
He smiled when he realized she did genuinely like him for himself.
"I really did enjoy my evening with you. You're very bright Sara. You are meant to do amazing work in forensics. I know you're going to go far."
"As long as I can keep your card and email you my questions for my cases?" She said with a grin.
He grinned back, "Reach out anytime. And maybe I'll do the same. Maybe I'll see you in the field someday."
She leaned forward and slipped her arms around his waist, taking in one last hug. She drew in a large breath, soaking in his scent one last time before kissing him on his cheek. He closed his eyes and smiled. Desperate to hold on to this moment. This moment that comforted him and terrified him all at once. He reached his hand to her neck, slipping his fingers along her skin under her hair gently placing his thumb on her chekk. He pulled her closer to him and placed a single gentle kiss on her forehead.
"Goodnight Sara."
He let her go, his arm trailing down her neck, to her shoulder, then her arm gently pinching her elbow before he fully let go. His fingers lingering in the air as if not wanting to part from her soft skin. He turned to the elevator and didn't look back.
"Goodnight Gil."
