Chapter 5 – Ancient Outpost
Jack slowly regained consciousness. He really hated being stunned unconscious by Boch's gun, but at least it doesn't leave the pins-and-needles feeling that the zat did. He could feel the ground moving, so he assumed that he was still in the transport. Time seemed to crawl and he feigned still being unconscious.
The transport slowed to a stop. "Pass through," a faint voice could be heard, then the transport sped up again before turning and stopping again.
"Take him to the main hall," a commanding voice said above him.
"Yes, Sir," was the quick reply next to him. "Come on, time to wake up." Jack felt his side prodded by a boot.
He grimaced and slowly stood up. They had left his hands free. He didn't plan on making any moves that took them away anytime soon. The guard motioned for him to hop out of the hover car.
Once outside, Jack had his first real sight at what exactly they wanted him to activate. He almost wanted to laugh out loud. It was an Ancient Outpost. Just like the one on Earth in Antarctica, just warmer. They had unburied most of the outpost and created a road that allowed them to enter straight into the chambers instead of going through stairs or rings. Surely, with their level of technology they could handle stairs?
The guard pushed Jack into the doorway and Jack started to feign fear at his surroundings. He really wasn't afraid, but he was familiar enough with aliens that they had no clue how to read human emotions. Just like most humans couldn't read aliens that weren't human, even Teal'c.
"Please, I can't go in there. It is cursed," Jack said fearfully.
Jack was pushed again, "Hurry up." When they reached the chair room, the Magistrate was waiting with his little science guy.
The science guy held out a small jar with what suspiciously looked like Ma'chello's little nanites. "Hold him."
The guard grabbed his arms while another grabbed his head. Crap, they were very like Ma'chello's nanites. The science guy grabbed one of the nanites looking things and then approached Jack. Jack struggled, but couldn't get any movement in his head. The nanite was placed in his ear. It oozed up his ear canal. He did a full body shake before the guards maneuvered his head to place the second nanite in his other ear. Then let go of him. That nanite also oozed up his ear canal. He did another full body shake and then just breathed.
It felt weird. He could feel the damn things in his head. "I don't like shit in my head," he said out loud. He shook his head again. "As if the damn snakes weren't enough, now we got freaking leaches."
The Andari around him looked at him cautiously, "Can you understand us now?"
Jack gave the scientist weird look, "What's to understand? You take slaves to turn on cursed technology. You do know that the beings that made this stuff died of a plague over 10,000 years ago, right?" Jack waved around his hand at the Ancient technology around them. "Well, died or ascended. Whatever."
The scientist who had asked him the question looked really excited, "You know about the beings who created this technology?"
"Of course," Jack said off hand, like everyone should know. "Cursed. Everyone knows that. That's why they died in a plague. No one will go near their stuff now. My people found some of their stuff by accident. I almost died of the plague myself. I got lucky. Sort of." He didn't want to elaborate the snake-in-the-head, dead-alive-dead-alive cycle he had go through. "Cursed. We should really, get the hell out of here while we still can."
The Magistrate stepped forward, "There is no plague here. I am sure we would have seen sickness before now if there were."
"I'm telling you, dollars to donuts, this place is cursed," Jack said sagely.
"I think not," the Magistrate replied. "Now, get in that chair."
"No. You can't. It will make me a slave to this place. Don't ," Jack allowed a bit of panic to edge into his voice. The guards grabbed his arms and dragged him over to the control chair. They picked him up and dropped him into the seat.
Once Jack was in the Control Chair, his hands held down onto the controls by the guards, he allowed his head to fall back to the headrest and he closed his eyes. He slowly opened his eyes. He was calm now, as if he were a different person. The guards let go of his arms. He slowly started working the controls on the chair bringing up the inventory of the Outpost. He started singing to himself to distract the Andari.
"Here come old flat top,
He come grooving up slowly,
He got joo joo eyeball,
He one holy roller,
He got hair down to his knee,
Got to be a joker he just do what you please."
The Andari initially tried to focus on the screens and when they realized that they were in a new dialect that they could not read they tried to ask him questions. Only to be completely ignored.
"He wear no shoe shine,
He got toe jam football,
He got monkey finger,
He shoot Coca-Cola,
He say, I know you, you know me,
One thing I can tell you is you got to be free,
Come together right now, over me."
At this point, the Andari were trying to listen to what Jack was saying, hoping that that would give them some clue as to what the screens were saying on them. While they could listen to the words, the words didn't really make any sense.
He bag production,
He got walrus gumboot,
He got Ono sideboard,
He one spinal cracker,
He got feet down below his knees,
Hold you in his armchair, you can feel his disease,
Come together right now over me."
Jack completed his inventory of the Outpost moved all the available memory to portable memory he could carry. Next, he started working on the more military targeting applications and making sure that no life signs were in any of the targeted areas.
He roller coaster,
He got early warning,
He got Muddy Water,
He one Mojo filter,
He say 'One and one and one is three',
Got to be good looking 'cause he so hard to see,
Come together right now over me."
As the last line rang out, Jack loosed the drones on the Ancient Outpost. The Andari had been caught completely unprepared. As the drones flew through the Outpost, they took out wall after wall, missing each of the guards and scientists as they fled. Once Jack was alone, he took his time to destroy the rest of the compound.
Finally done, Jack sat up in the chair, "Crap, that is always draining." He wearily got up and ejected several of the computer boards and the memory crystals he loaded with data. He glanced around and picked up a discarded bag from one of his guards. He dumped out the contents and then filled it will the ancient computer chips and memory crystals. Finally, he moved over to the chair and ejected the ZPM. "Nice." He wrapped up the ZPM and tucked it into the bag with the computer chips.
Important tasks done; he slipped the bag over his shoulder. Next, he moved over to where his guards had dropped their weapons. He shook his head in dismay. To treat a weapon like that. How sad. He examined the pistols for a few minutes and test fired at the console before he felt comfortable with the weapon. He tucked it and a spare in his belt and started to make his way out of the Ancient Outpost.
SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG-SG
