Hearing the murmur of trees

And endless echoes of waves,

I stand on the edge of sand,

And wonder, where do you stand?

Are you –

Looking at the ocean too?

Are you –

Grasping at old, hazy dream

As you also search for me?

Are you –

Giving up on what we were?

I have worn loneliness a size too big,

It swallows me whole, hiding me, blinding,

The hope of ever finding you again

In flesh this time – in our reality.

The smell of salt in the breeze

And gunpowder in my hand,

I am reminded of my own

Mortality, bitterly.

Am I –

That girl you are looking for?

Am I –

Filling your thoughts with longing?

Am I –

Still in your memories that

Wrings your heart and eyes dry?

I have worn loneliness for far too long,

It now fits me perfectly, molded to

Cover my insecurities and fear

To the very shape of my solitude.

So, forget me; leave me here

Alone in our dreams, watching

You build your happiness with

Someone else, somewhere not here.

For alone is all I have ever been

And loneliness all I have ever known.

But not so with you; so, go and maybe

I will find happiness in letting go.