A/N: I only own the OC
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I stood there and looked at Sarah. She wouldn't even look at me as she held her side. I hadn't realized that I had hurt her when I had escaped that day. Steve had never really told me what I had done, but I knew that I had hurt people. I killed people, and the worst part was that I remembered 90% of them. I wasn't sure why, but out of all the times Hydra fucked with me... those memories stayed around. I guess that the final part of the curse they had put on me.
"I... didn't know." I finally said and she nodded. I knew that she knew more about me than most people from how I thought our relationship had started, but I had been wrong. She had known me as the monster HYDRA controlled.
"I wasn't sure what you remembered, but I remember." she said as I saw a tear slip down her cheek. I had really hurt her, and I never meant to. She had helped me so much, and now to find out that I had hurt her the way I had. I guess that I never would be able to find real forgiveness or a second chance. I wanted to say so much. I wanted to say that wasn't really me, but she knew that. I wanted to say that I was sorry, but she also knew that.
"I didn't mean to hurt your co-worker..." I was saying when she cut me off. I wasn't surprised she stopped me, but it was her cold tone that actually made me shy away.
"Best friend... he was my best friend. We were all trying to stop you when you just snapped his neck. I watched as you killed my best friend. You killed him and you just walked over to your next victim." she admitted in a cold tone that told me she might be reliving some of that moment right then. I wanted to comfort her as I raised my hand of console her, and watched as she flinched away from me. I let me hand drop back down and looked at the floor. I couldn't blame her.
"I know that I did things as that part of me, but know that I didn't do them intentionally. I..." I was saying when someone came into the room. We both looked at Sharon, and I wished that she had given up a few more minutes.
"My friend is here to help you." she said and I nodded. I walked out to let him in there and found Sam looking over something. Zemo was sitting in a chair, and I noticed that someone had handcuffed him... probably the smart move. I needed some air.
"I'm going for a walk." I said and left before anyone could say anything. I walked out into the cooler air and took a deep breath. I looked around, and realized that the last time I had been in Vienna was when that fuck had activated me. I started walking... I needed to clear my mind. I knew that I had hurt a lot of people, and I did remember most of them. I just never realized that the one person who was supposed to help me had been one of the people I had hurt. I didn't understand how Sarah could help me, when I had hurt her so badly.
I had made it to the riverfront and sat on a bench. I looked out over the city, and knew that I could have brought it all down at one point. I just wanted to run from it now. I looked down at my hands... and I felt rage through me. I curled my metal hand into a fist and took a deep breath. I could feel it slipping away again. I knew that rage was my way to losing it again, but I didn't know if I cared anymore. I knew that I had been freed in Wakanda, but maybe I was better off not having feelings. I didn't deserve them, and the one person who thought I deserved anything gave it all up to go back. I couldn't blame him for wanting to live a better life than the one we had been dealt, but I felt some resentment... we were supposed to be together to the end of the line.
Sarah POV
The guy patched up my side, and gave me 15 stitches to close up the wound. I hadn't realized I had been hurt that bad, but I was feeling adrenaline and rage at the situation. I couldn't believe that I had just gone off on Bucky, but I guess that I needed to get it out too. I wasn't the only one that this city affected in a negative way. Sharon slipped the man some money as I changed shirts. I walked out to see Sam and Zemo. Sharon was talking to her contact by the door. I had a feeling that Bucky had left... he coped by leaving, but I guess when you were forced to stay somewhere the freedom to leave any situation when you wanted to was appealing.
We sat down and went over everything from what we knew, to what Zemo knew, to what we needed to do next, and how we were going to keep Walker out of this. Bucky came back around dusk, and stood back as we finished our discussions. He went to the bedroom he was going to stay in when we were finished. Sharon was going to call food as I stood up to stretch.
"How are you?" Sam asked me and I gave him a look as I walked out onto the balcony. I knew that he would follow my out there, and I was fine with it. Sam was a counselor before he was the Falcon... if anyone got it then he would.
"He is sorry." he said and I nodded as I leaned on my forearms.
"Yeah, I know. I was the one who got him to that point." I said and Sam rubbed my back.
"I know this isn't easy." he said and my head shot up to look at him.
"Sam, you were there that day. You know what happened." I said and Sam sighed as he nodded.
"I also know you didn't tell him the truth." Sam said and I nodded in agreement. I hadn't told Bucky who the man really was, but I wasn't sure if I was going to at this point. I knew that I had made him feel bad about it, but as much as I hadn't meant to I needed to do it. I needed him to know that he wasn't the only one still suffering from his actions.
"He doesn't need to know it was my fiance. I know I already made him feel bad enough. I know that he is sorry." I said and Sam nodded.
"I killed your fiance?" a voice said from behind us and I couldn't even turn around. I guess I was glad that he had over heard instead of me telling him since I had no idea if I would have even told him. Bucky and I had formed a friendship on shaky ground, but now who knew where we stood since he finally knew the truth.
"i will give you two a minute." Sam said and closed the door as he walked inside. I wouldn't even turn around to look at Bucky right now... he knew, and that meant facing it again.
"I asked you a question." he said and I heard the edge in his voice as I turned to look at him. He had tear filled eyes, and I saw a familiar rage boiling just below the surface as I faced him much like I had years ago.
"Yes, you killed my fiance, and you tried to kill me. Happy now? You think this is easy to stand here and talk to you? You think it was easy to listen to you lament killing all those people, but not remembering me or the person that you took from me? You think you are the only one that's angry here?" I snapped at him and he stepped closer to me. I wanted to step away, but I knew that I couldn't. I got ready to say something when he grabbed me. I couldn't process what was happening as he threw up over the balcony. I handed on the ground below still in his arms. I pushed myself off, but he kept hold on my one wrist as he pulled me somewhere. I had no idea where we were going. A part of me wanted to fight him off, but a smaller part of me was curious even if he had snapped and was going to kill me.
A/N: Where is Bucky taking her?
