A/N: I only own the OC

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I looked at him as we sat beside the river; we had been sitting there for awhile. I wasn't going to talk first... iI didn't trust myself about what to say. I was still pissed that he jumped over the balcony holding me, but I understood why he wanted to get away to talk. I didn't want to talk, but here I was... I knew that it would be for the best, but I had been avoiding this conversation for a reason. Bucky had done better than I thought he would in therapy, but I hadn't wanted him to know or remember every thing. I couldn't help but admit that I had gotten used to being around him, but I had hoped that this conversation wouldn't have ever come up.

"I... um, never meant to hurt you." he said and I finally looked at him. I wasn't even bothering to hide the tears at this point. He knew that he had hurt me.

"Bucky... it doesn't matter... it happened." I finally said with a sigh.

"Yes, and believe me if I could have stopped myself when I was like that I would have... I wish I could take back a lot." he said in a defeated tone. I knew that was probably true, but it didn't take my pain away right now.

"I just wish I hadn't seen it." I admitted and he looked at me surprised. I had never told him I had been around him more than just as his therapist.

"You were there that day?" he asked me slowly and I nodded. I was there, and I wished that I hadn't been. I also wished the memories and nightmares would go away, but I knew that just like him... it was a silent scar that you bare.

"Yeah, they had arrested you all and I was there when they brought you in. I had been working with the Avengers since New York. I remember when it was on the radar that you were even back. I was with Sharon and Nat working on things when he reactivated you. We... all tried to stop you." I said and he nodded.

"Did I hurt you?" he asked me and I raised an eyebrow. I felt like that was a dumb and loaded question for him to ask, but I knew what he meant.

"You know what I mean." he said and I felt myself smirk at him for some reason. I should be mad at him still for taking what was my life at that time, but the more I look at him... it's just a broken person. He wasn't born evil... he was a victim of his circumstance.

"You broke my wrist." I admitted and he nodded. We sat there in silence for a moment and I could tell that he was trying to process things.

"I'm sorry I don't remember you." he finally said and I was surprised that he had said that. He wanted to remember me?

"I just want to move on, Bucky. I never thought I would be sitting here as..." I was saying when he cut me off.

"Friends?" he said and I was surprised. I had already had many conversations with him about needing people in his life, and making friends; but he considered me a friend.

"Yeah, I guess we are... but I never thought that. I remember that a lot of us didn't want you around... but Steve vouched for you, and we all sucked it up. I feel bad for that now because you aren't all bad, but at the time... we didn't know that." I admitted and he nodded.

"I wouldn't have liked me very much either back then." he said and I chuckled as I nodded. I felt more tears slide down my cheek and reached up to wipe them away, but he beat me to it. I looked at him and he looked somewhere between sad and hurt. I understood those feelings all to well most days, but especially right now.

"I'm sorry I hated you." I finally admitted and he chuckled. I shot him a look and he shook his head.

"No, I just.. I never thought that you would have said that to me. I'm usually the one apologizing for a lot of stuff." he admitted and I nodded with a smirk. I had told him to try to apologize to people to make himself feel better to move on... he told me it didn't help like he thought it would. I shivered as we sat there and he shrugged out of his jacket. He put it around me, and I slipped my arms through it.

"I can still be a gentleman." he said and I smirked at him.

"Thanks for making me talk to you." I said and he chuckled.

"I'm sorry about the whole jumping the railing thing, but I didn't think that was a conversation for everyone to hear." he said and I nodded. I knew that he was right about that.

"Lets see if they need anything before we head back." I said and he nodded. I called Sharon and she had food already coming. I told her that we would be back soon. We walked back slowly to her place, and were still talking some when we got back. The food was sitting on the counter with some beers. Sharon gave me a look when we walked in, and I waved it off. I knew that she would corner me later for girl time.

"I see you didn't let her kill you." Zemo said as we walked into the room.

"And I see you are still an ass." I commented back and Sam chuckled.

"And I see people who are standing around doing nothing instead of the mission they were sent on." a voice said and we all turned to see Walker standing in the doorway with Lamar. He nodded at me and I gave a small wave. I had always liked Lamar, but his friendship with John's might be his downfall one day.

"And I am surprised that your contact is a person branded a traitor to the USA." he commented as he saw Sharon.

"Too bad that doesn't apply here." I said and he smirked at me.

"So, we have just been partying?" he asked us as he looked at me.

"No, we have some good intel that we will follow up with tomorrow night at the party the broker is hosting." Sam said and he nodded.

"And breaking him out was part of the plan?" he asked us and I could tel that Bucky was getting annoyed.

"You not harrassing us until this was over was part of the plan." Bucky quipped and I bit back a smirk.

"That's not nice to say to Captain America." Walker said.

"You aren't Captain America." we all said at the same time and he chuckled.

"I don't care what you think. I'm sure one or more of you is jealous of the decision, but I was given this after it was given up. I am Captain America." he said as he stepped towards Sam and Bucky.

"No, you are an unwanted guest in my house. So get out." Sharon said and he looked at her surprised.

"I have more connections in this city than you do, and I'm already a traitor. I have nothing to lose if I shoot you." Sharon told him and at that point the room was completely hostile towards him.

"John, leave. We will meet up after the party and go over what we need to do from there. You told me that I was the handler so let me handle this." I said and he looked down at me.

"You can come with me and check on them tomorrow." he said in a low tone.

"She's not." Bucky said and I looked at him surprised.

"Leave, John." I said and he kissed my cheek before he left with Lamar. I turned and looked at everyone; it was obvious that none of us like him.

"I can't believe you went on a date with him." Sharon said and I smirked as I shook my head.

"One date... and I left early." I said as Sam handed us all beers.

"Let me guess... had to go to the bathroom?" Zemo asked me as Sharon was handing out the food.

"No, just told him I was leaving, and left." I said as they were laughing. We watched some movie and talked as we ate. I had to smile because it made me think of the times we would do this before life went to hell... before Steve left, Nat and Tony died, and people came and went thanks to a fucked up looking alien. We all said our good nights as the boys all went to sleep, and I helped Sharon clean up.

"Good talk?" she asked me as we opened another beer.

"Yeah, we got it all out, and I told him I was sorry for hating him. I probably needed that more than him." I admitted as I took a sip of the beer.

"Now, can you admit that you like him?" she asked me and I almost spit out my beer in shock.

"No, we did say we were friends tonight... which I was not expecting, but nothing else." I said and she chuckled.

"I fell in love with one of them too... I get it, but just know that whatever you decide you deserve happiness too." she said and I smirked. We talked about the old days, about the people we missed, about what life could be like, and about this party tomorrow night. I was actually looking forward to the party... at least this mission wasn't boring.


A/N: Where is Bucky taking her?