Gina and Ashlyn work on science questions together in Mr. Mazzara's class. Though they're really only thinking about the school's spring musical auditions that are happening that afternoon. A little less than a week ago Miss Jenn had announced that they got the rights to do the musical Dear Evan Hansen. Carlos and Gina have already started choreographing the dance for "Sincerely, Me". It's an understatement to say that they're excited.

All of a sudden the classroom's phone rings and Mr. Mazzara answers it. The 2 friends try to sneak in a conversation while he's distracted but they quickly notice him staring directly at them. He walks up to the 2 after finishing the phone call and addresses Gina.

"The principal called you to his office," he says "you can bring a friend if you want to"

"Do you know why he wants me to come?" she says while packing up her things.

"He didn't give me any information other than you should go to his office now and that someone else can go with you"

She is a little confused by what's happening and why she would have the option of bringing a friend with her. But she just grabs Ashlyn and they leave.

"What do you think this is about" the girl says.

"I don't know, they wouldn't tell me to bring a friend if I was being disciplined right?" Gina says both confused and concerned.

"Do you think they're gonna give you an award?" She teases.

"No, seriously, what's the point of having you here"

"I'm sure whatever happens, you'll be fine"

"Yeah," She decides it not worth worrying about and that they'll find out soon enough.


They arrive at Mr. Gutierrez's office to see not just the principal but also 2 other women. One of which looks kind of familiar to Gina but she couldn't put her finger on it. The more familiar lady spoke "Hi Gina, my name I'm Katherine, I'm your social worker, do you remember me?"

She nervously took a step back and swatted around her hand, trying to find Ashlyn's.

"Don't worry" Ashlyn whispered into her ear as she grabbed her hand.

"What's going on?" Gina asked trying to hide the fact that she's panicking.

"Don't worry about it, take a deep breathe and sit down"

"The last time I saw you was after my dad died, what's going on, is my mom okay?"

"Just a moment Gina, let Ms. Williams introduce herself" Katherine says trying to be as calming as possible.

Ms. Williams speaks up "Hi, I'm the school psychologist, I'm just here to make sure you're doing okay, okay?"

"And I'm Principal Gutierrez," he says, clearly uncomfortable by the situation.

"So what's going on?" Gina says anxiously.

"First I want you to take 3 deep breaths, okay?" Said Ms. Williams.

Gina begrudgingly did so as she sat down in the chair they put out for her.

"Ashlyn, can you wait outside for a second?"

"Why is she leaving!" Gina protested.

"She can stay for you want"

"Okay, now give me the news!" She says not being able to wait any longer.

Katherine leans on the principal's desk "Your mother was diagnosed with cancer last fall, the doctors tried to do everything they could but it kept on progressing and a few days ago it killed her"

"No!" She yells in disbelief "She would've told me if she had cancer!"

"I'm sorry" Ms. Williams tries to comfort the girl.

"Why didn't she tell me!"

"She was probably planning to and just ran out of time. Here, she left you a letter" Katherine says while handing Gina a letter.

Gina takes it but decides to wait before opening it.

"Do you want to sit with this news for a bit before we talk about what's gonna happen with you and where you're gonna live"

Gina nods then leaves with Ashlyn to sit in the waiting area.

"I should've been there for her," Gina says regretfully.

"You couldn't have known," Ash says as she puts her arm around the girl.

"I should've paid closer attention, I knew something was off about her I just didn't think it would be this!" She starts to cry.

"If she wanted you to be there for her she wouldn't have let you stay in Salt Lake, okay?"

"But then why didn't she want me there for her, was I too much work to take care of?" The girl says with a mixture of anger and self loathing.

"No G, she probably just didn't want you to see her dying"

"But I could've helped to take care of her, I could've been there to support her!"

"I'm sorry" Ashlyn says, not knowing how else to comfort her.

"What am I supposed to do without her?" She starts bawling.

"It'll be okay, you still have me and the rest of the drama kids by your side. We'll make sure you're okay"

"Fuck, the musical, I almost forgot about the auditions, how I am supposed to audition after all of this?"

"Don't worry I'll talk to Miss Jenn, tell her everything that happened and I'm sure she'll let you audition later"

"But she always posts the list right after the audition, she probably won't be willing to keep everyone waiting for days until I can audition"

"I'm sure she will! This is a lot for you to deal with, she'd be willing to make some changes"

"Do you really think so?"

"I can ask her now if you want"

"Yeah, that would be nice," Gina says with a bit of relief.

"Ok" Ashlyn leaves to find Miss Jenn. The principal is still talking to some other kid so Gina pulls her legs to her chest and goes back to crying.

As Gina is taking in the calmness of the room the door bursts open and Nini walks in. As soon as Nini sees the crying girl she awkwardly goes down and sits next to her.

"Hey Gina, what's wrong?" Nini says softly as if she were talking to an injured tiger.

"My mom died," Gina responds, looking the other way in irritation.

"Oh, I'm so sorry" She puts her hand on Gina's shoulder but It's quickly swatted away.

"So why are you here?"

"I got expelled from YAC, too many absences"

"well, you're just in time for the auditions, they're this afternoon" She says with fake enthusiasm

"Really!," she says excitedly only to remember what was going on with Gina "I hope you can make them"

"Nah, I'll probably go home after this. Ashlyn is talking to Miss Jenn about me being able to audition another day"

"That's nice, um, my mom can drive you home if you want. But you'll have to wait for a bit, she's grabbing scones from the bakery"

"Sure, thank you"

Mr. Gutierrez's door opens and a kid walks out, "Gina, are you ready?"

"Yeah" She walks in and he leaves for a second to grab Katherine.

"Ok Gina, so where are you currently living" she asks.

"At Ashlyn's house"

"Mm hmm, and is there an adult there to take care of you"

"Yeah, Ashlyn's mom and dad, Debbie and Dennis"

"Would you like to keep on living there?"

"Yes, please"

"Okay, so you're mother didn't put a guardian for you in her will so your closest family member should get custody of you"

"I have been calling them and not many of them have the time to take care of a child at this point. You also are old enough to have to approve whoever adopts you," Katherine continues. "So it looks like you'll go into foster care until someone adopts you or you turn 21"

"I thought it was until I turned 18" Gina butts in.

"Not in Utah, after you turn 18 you may be able to move into your own apartment and start taking care of yourself but the foster care system will still have a day on decisions like where you work, live and if you go to university"

"The closest foster home that has space for another kid is in the next town. But! Because the system is currently very full you might be able to stay at your friend's house until a closer spot opens up!" Katherine Continues.

"Great," Gina gives a forced smile as she starts to cry again.

"Listen, I know this is a shitty situation but you'll still be able to stay with your friends for some time"

"Mh hmm," She thinks about the situation for a moment "Do you think I'll get adopted?"

"Well, families are looking for children to adopt everyday so there's a good chance you will be!" the woman tries to give her some hope.

"Yeah but they're looking for children not teens"

"You can try talking to your aunt or one of your grandparents about them adopting you"

"Ok, I will"

She gives the girl a kind but infantilizing smile, "So you can stay with Ashlyn for now and in like a week we can talk again and I'll tell you what's going on with your living situation. But someone will have to come by her house to make sure it's safe for you to stay in"

"Ok, Can I go now?"

"Yes, Gina"

The girl goes outside of the office to see her friend waiting there for her.

"Miss Jenn said you wouldn't have to audition," Ashlyn says excitedly.

"Honestly Ash, I probably won't be able to stay here. There's really no point in me trying out for the musical" She starts to walk away.

"What did Katherine say?" Ash follows her.

"I might be able to stay with you but realistically it'll probably only last for a week"

"So you only think it'll last for a week?"

"Come on Ash, I shouldn't get my hopes up it's probably against the rules and it's hard to get out of rules like that"

"You could be moved to a foster home near here"

"There aren't any with space open and there probably won't be for a long time"

"You could get adopted by someone near here" Ashlyn says, still trying to give the girl hope.

"By who? My family lives in a different state and no one wants to adopt a black teenager"

"You have to try to look on the bright side, G" She grabs her hand to force the girl to pay attention to her.

"That's not gonna help me, being prepared for the worst is gonna help me!"

"I want you to have something to look forward to"

"Please don't worry about me," She gives the girl a comforting smile "I'm used to moving around"

Ashlyn hugs Gina tightly "I'm not giving up on you and I'm not letting you leave us"

She lets Ash go, "At this point there's nothing you can do to help, let's just enjoy the time we have together"


Gina walks to the front of the school where Nini is waiting for her. They wait for a while making small talk until her mom, Carol comes. Nini goes up to the car and tells her everything that's going on and that she'd stay at the school practicing and hanging out with her friends until the auditions. Gina then takes a seat in the passenger's seat of the car and Carol tries to start a conversation.

"I'm really sorry about your mom, I lost my mother when I was not much older than you"

"Oh, really," Gina says in a monotone voice while looking out the window.

"I know it feels like you world is ending but one day everything is gonna be okay, and if your dad needs any help-"

"My dad is also dead," She says, cutting her off.

"Oh" Carol says surprised "I'm so sorry, I had no idea"

"It's okay it was a long time ago, I'm really over it now"

"Well, if you want to talk to anyone, I'm here"

"Thanks," She says, still looking out the window.

After a bit of time has passed Carol gives small talk another go, this time with a bit more success.

"So aren't auditions today, you normally try out right?"

"Yeah, Miss Jenn said that she's seen me dance and sing enough times so it's fine if I miss it"

"Oh, that's nice, what musical are they doing?"

"Dear Evan Hansen"

"Ohh, that's my favorite musical! What part are you hoping for?"

"Zoe would be nice, but I'll probably get Alana"

"Don't say that, you were amazing in HSM, I'm sure you'll get it"

"Eh, Miss Jenn likes to play favorites and she isn't exactly a fan of my confidence"

"That's too bad, at least you'll know how to deal with bosses that hate you for no reason when you're older. Trust me, that's a really important life skill!"

"Yeah I guess, how do you think I should deal with it?"

"You could either try to just get so good at musicals that she'll have no choice but to give you the lead role or try to get on her good side"

She thinks about it for a minute "I guess I can try to get on her good side. You do know I'm your daughter's competition though"

"I don't really care, you seem like you need an adult to look out for you"

"Yeah, I guess I do, thank you"

For the rest of the ride Gina thinks about what the woman had said. Even when her mom was alive, she didn't really try to protect her daughter. Maybe it would be nice to have an adult who really cares for you and wants the best for you.

They arrive at Ashlyn's house not long after and as soon as Gina enters she falls onto the couch and starts crying again.

How did all that happen? How did she not know that her mom had cancer? Did her mom really not want to be with the girl during her final days? She finally decides to open up the letter.

Dear Gina,

I'm sorry I didn't tell you about this earlier, honestly I'm so sorry about so many different things. I'm sorry for putting so much pressure on you all the time and forcing you to be the best at everything. I should've let you just enjoy things. I'm sorry that I forced you to move to all those different schools because of my job and that you never got to have long lasting friendships. I'm sorry that I never let you mourn the death of your father and that I forced you to move away right after he died. I'm sorry that I yelled at you so much and that I called you a burden so often. I'm sorry for ignoring you for weeks on end, I'm sorry for making you feel like you weren't enough. Please forgive me for this.

I really wanted to be a good mother, but I just couldn't do it alone.

Sincerely, Terri Porter

Her mother was never one to apologize, in fact she probably never said the words "I'm sorry" in her life. Gina starts to cry knowing that her mother's last thing she wanted to say to her was an apology. Maybe her mother wasn't that bad after all. Gina begins to forgive her mother but she's still left wondering why her mother did everything that she had apologized for in the first place.

She could've just told her that she was dying and that she didn't want her daughter to come home. But instead she chose to just write a letter apologizing for it. She didn't even have the guts to call Gina and apologize for everything else. She didn't even care to change, in their weekly phone calls she would still judge her daughter in everything she was told to the point where Gina stopped telling her things. Why didn't her mom want to change? Did she really care about how she was hurting her daughter?

Gina decides that this is all too much to think about and that she should take a nap. So she heads up to her room and cries herself to sleep under the covers.


When she wakes up Ashlyn is by her side with 3 freshly baked cookies. Ash has a bag of frozen cookie dough marked "For Bad Days" that she would take out whenever Gina was upset about a bad mark or had an upsetting call with her mom.

Gina smiles "hey, thank you" she says as she takes the cookies from her friend.

"You're welcome, how are you doing?"

"Good, why?"

Ashlyn figures that Gina was too confused from just waking up from a nap to remember what had happened. She decides to just let her have this moment. Ash sits down on her friend's bed "No reason"

"Wait, what's going on? What time is it? Weren't the auditions today? I don't remember going to them" She takes a second to think about it and everything hits her like a pile of bricks "... Ughh, right my mom died"

"Yeah, I'm sorry"

"It's fine, I'm sorry for exploding at you before, I really hope I can stay here for as long as possible but I just don't think I'll be able to"

"It's fine I told Miss Jenn that you were gonna stay so she probably gave you a part"

"Oh yeah, what roles did everyone get?" Gina says, trying to move on.

A smile comes across Ashlyn's face "So, she said that she would post them on Instagram this afternoon and she just posted it! I've been too nervous to look though"

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure you did an amazing job" She sits up and puts a hand on her friend's shoulder.

Ashlyn pulls up her phone and finally swipes on the post that was put up on the school's drama department's Instagram.

Dear Evan Hansen Cast List-

Evan Hansen - Gina Porter
Understudy - Seb Matthew-Smith
Zoe Murphy - Nini Salazar-Roberts
Understudy - Lily Johnson
Heidi Hansen - Kourtney Greene
Cynthia Murphy - Ashlyn Caswell
Larry Murphy - E.J. Caswell
Connor Murphy - Ricky Bowen
Jared Klienman - Big Red
Alana Beck - Lily Johnson

Virtual Community and Background Singers-
Seb Matthew-Smith
Carlos Rodriguez
Adeline Baker
Bryan Rey
Buddy Hills
Kaden Dayton
Kaison Cotton
Kenidee Allen
Lauryn Carino
Nicki Ouk

"Ahh! Gina, you got the lead part!" Ashlyn squeals "This is gonna be amazing!"

"Really, I might not even be here for the musical"

"Then at least you'll have Seb to fill in for you"

"Yeah, I'm surprised Miss Jenn didn't go for Ricky"

"Maybe she realized just how talented you are," Ashlyn says, putting her head on her friend's shoulder.

"Oh, come on. Anyways, you got Cynthia, that's great!"

"It would be if EJ wasn't Larry. Do you know how awkward that'll be!"

"Mhh, I feel like Larry and Cynthia aren't really in love they're just married for their kids at that point"

"I like to think that they are really in love!"

"Sure but then you'll have to love your cousin" Gina teases the girl.

"At least Nini and Ricky are in a similar boat. They're dating and have to pretend to be siblings"

"Yeah, this is a weird amount of incest for this semester's musical"

"Is there a normal amount of incest for you" Ashlyn says, now teasing Gina.

"I just mean that 1 thing like this is an accident, 2 is weird"

"Are you saying Miss Jenn has some find of incest fetish?"

"Not exactly,'' Gina says as the two girls burst into laughter.

"While you're gonna have to get rid of that idea if you don't want the rest of rehearsals to be really awkward"

"Or… I could just leave Salt Lake," Gina jokes.

"No, cause then when you're a big Broadway star you're gonna be in an interview and you'll call East High the school with the teacher with the incest fetish. Plus you can't just run away at the slightest sign of an awkward situation"

"Yeah, I do do that too much. I guess I never really really learned how to confront issues"

"Well, now is the perfect time to learn"

"Or… I could go into the foster system then start working at FEMA and I'll never have to be in the same place for more than half a year ever again!" Gina says, half joking.

"Come on, I know you, and I know that you don't actually like moving. You're just scared of anyone getting close to you"

"Okay, that got real fast. I think it's time for dinner"

Ashlyn rolls her eyes and they leave to find out what her parents are making for dinner.