The musical is happening in a day and everyone is pretty stressed about it. Gina's wrist is healing pretty nicely and she will be able to perform but there's still the risk of her having a panic attack on stage.
Nini is trying to practice her part of "Requiem" in her room but she can barely focus with Gina singing "Waving Through a Window" in the room next to hers. So she decided to go over and talk to the girl.
"Hey, I'm trying to practice 'Requiem', so can you keep it down"
"Sorry, it's just I have a lot of songs to practice and I haven't really had the time to perfect this one. So could you try to practice a different time"
"I have to practice this song right now, I have other stuff I have to do later" Nini was pretty angered at the idea of having to change her schedule. She was used to being an only child and never had to deal with someone else interrupting what she was doing. And she was already upset that most of her mothers' time was spent making sure that her sister wasn't having a panic attack. Not to mention how jealous she was of how much her mothers were willing to do to make the girl happy.
"I also have other stuff to do later, I have like 3 other songs I need to practice tonight"
"You're always singing, when will I have time to"
"Yeah, because I need to learn so many different songs"
"Oh yeah cause you're so important just because you're the lead" Nini says, mockingly.
"Well I am and I have songs to practice so what do you want me to do? Not learn the songs and ruin the musical?"
Nini snaps "I want you the get the fuck out of my house!" She regrets saying it almost as soon as it comes out of her mouth. She has been getting irritated by Gina being in her space for the past couple of weeks but that was really the first time she said anything about it. She just wasn't used to having to share things and what made it worse was how much of their moms' attention Gina took up.
Gina has a sad but shocked expression on her face and starts tearing up. She then sprints down the stairs and out the door, Nini tries to call after her and apologize but she doesn't respond. The girl doesn't really know where she's going but she knows that she doesn't belong at home.
Once she's far enough away from the house that it would be hard for them to find her she thinks for a moment about what she just did. "Fuck" she mutters under her breath, I guess with the stress of everything she just kinda exploded. But she still didn't want to go back, she didn't feel like she fit in there, Nini just said that it wasn't her house. So she decided that she would go where she feels the most at home, her girlfriends house.
When she arrives at the girl's house she thinks about what to do. Should she just say that she ran away because she and Nini got into a fight or not explain anything and just ask to sleep there for the night. But before she can decide, a worried Ashlyn opens the door.
"There you are! Nini told us that you ran away. Everybody is worried about you"
At that point Gina is so stressed and confused that all she does is start crying and buries her head into her girlfriend's chest.
"Aww, baby. Do you want to come inside and talk about what happened?" Ashlyn asks.
The girl nods and they go inside and sit on the couch.
"So do you want to tell me why you ran away?"
"Me and Nini got into a fight about me being too loud for us to be able to practice our songs at the same time. She got mad at me and told me to leave her house"
"I'm really sorry that she said that, it is your house too"
"I guess but it's only been my house for a couple weeks, she's been living there her entire life"
"That doesn't mean that you belong there any less, Babe"
"It still just doesn't feel like me house"
"It will in time"
"Everyone says that but I'll probably be off at university by the time that happens"
"Hmm, you could ask them if you can change the house around so it feels more like your old house"
Gina thinks about it for a second, doing that might make her feel at home but feeling at home would probably cause her to have more panic attacks. Maybe it was impossible to feel happy and at home at the same time. Maybe she should give up and accept being an outsider forever. But she just responds with "I don't want to feel like I'm at my old house."
Ashlyn had a vague idea of what had happened with Gina and her mom but she didn't know many of the details. "Yeah, I guess it could bring up some bad memories"
"Am I destined to be miserable?" She puts her head on her girlfriend's lap.
"No Gina, you just have to wait it out and eventually it will feel like home"
"So I don't get a happy childhood?"
"I'm sorry, I'm sure your moms are trying to make it as happy of a childhood as possible" She puts her hand on her girlfriend's cheek.
She starts bawling "I hate this"
"I'm sorry" Ash gives the girl a hug and they sit there for a while, just crying. "Hey G, do you think you'll sleep over?"
"If you're okay with it"
"As long as you tell your moms, they're probably really worried about you"
"Really? They haven't texted or called me"
"Are you sure?" Ashlyn was shocked that neither Dana nor Carol had texted the girl since they always cared so much about her.
"Yeah" Gina brings out her phone to see that she was wrong and that they had been blowing up her phone with text messages. "Okay, so my phone might've been on mute"
Ash chuckles "Do you want to go call them?"
"Yeah, yeah"
She calls Dana and tells her that she will be staying over at Ashlyn's house. Dana then asked her if she would come home after school the next day and Gina just responded that she didn't know. She knew that running away wouldn't make that house feel more like her home but right now she just wanted to be comfortable with her girlfriend.
Then they practice parts of the songs that they have together and paint each other's nails. Of course they have to take it off at the end of the night but it's still fun. It was like when Gina was living in that house again, everything felt calm. Like even though there were issues they didn't have to deal with them yet.
The next morning they get up early to get to the morning rehearsals. Nini is waiting for her sister at the entrance and runs up to them as soon as they get close.
"Gina, I'm so sorry I shouldn't have said that"
"It's okay if I'm being honest it doesn't feel like it's my home either"
"We can work to make it feel like your home"
"I think I'm kinda gonna give up on feeling at home"
"Please don't"
"I'm sorry for getting in your space"
Gina goes into the auditorium to start rehearsing and Nini rushes after her to try apologizing again. Gina brushes the girl off and gets ready to practice the confession scene with Ashlyn and EJ. Nini follows them and they go over the scene and when they're done arguing Gina starts to sing "Words Fail". But instead of looking at all of them while singing she looks at her sister for almost all of it. She sings with such genuine regret and self hatred that Nini knew the girl wasn't just acting. That she was genuinely sorry for being adopted, that she felt like she was just intruding in Nini's family. But also that a family like the Salazar-Roberts was all she ever wanted from her own family. Wanting 2 parents who are both alive and there in her life, wanting to not be torn away from her friends because her mom had to move again.
Maybe that was what Nini couldn't understand about the girl, having parents who fail to meet your needs so often. She was always so mad that the girl was taking up most of her parent's attention and that they would go way easier on the girl than her. But that was only because they were trying to help Gina heal from her trauma.
The pause in the song comes and Nini waits until it's her turn to leave the stage. She continues to think about the first half of the song only to notice that the second half is just as genuine as the first. She listens more intently "All I ever do is run, so how do I step in, into the sun". Gina had spent her whole life leaving as soon as disaster struck, it must have been pretty hard for the girl to have to settle down and open up to people she only met a few months ago. Nini was really only thinking about having a little sister and having the type of relationship that Carlos and Seb had with their siblings. But maybe it was unrealistic to have that expectation since the girl was only now learning to open up to people.
Once Gina is done singing and the scene is finished Nini runs up to the girl and gives her a big hug. "Please come home" she whispers into her sister's ear.
"It doesn't feel like home"
"You need to learn to step into the sun"
Gina looks at the girl, she looks like she really wanted it and wasn't just trying to erase a mistake she made, "...okay"
"Thank you!"
Miss Jenn looks at the girls a little confused but still gives her comments on the performance, "Great job Gina, very genuine emotions"
"Thank you Miss Jenn"
They spend the rest of the morning going through act 1 and practice act 2 during lunch. They run through the whole thing in the afternoon rehearsal leaving the kids an hour and a half to have dinner before opening night. Gina uses that time to talk to her moms and apologize for running away before the big performance.
"Sweetheart! Please never do that again!" Dana cries out.
"I won't, mom" she gives the woman a big hug and Carol and Nini join in.
"We were worried about you, do you want to talk about why you ran off? Other than the incident with Nini"
"I will later"
"It looks like all your friends are going to grab dinner. Are you gonna go with them?"
"If you're okay it!"
"I am, why don't we go out for a celebratory dessert afterwards?"
"That sounds amazing"
She catches up with the other kids heading over to Salt Lake Slices to get some pizza. They decide that they should all be in character over the dinner to be as prepared for the musical as possible. It was pretty fun for most of them, Ricky gets to pretend to be high and everyone gets to yell "INCEST" whenever Nini and him would flirt. Though it does mean that Gina has to be shy and both her, Ashlyn, Nini, and EJ all have to pretend to be dating family.
They catch Lily there grabbing a slice of pizza and invite her to sit with all of them, after thinking about it for a few seconds she agrees to it. She gets into character pretty easily though it makes it hard for her to have nice interactions with her castmates. She still tries really hard to be friendly, which is more than they were expecting her to do.
It was a really fun dinner for all of them and Miss Jenn is impressed with their dedication when they come back to the school. It doesn't take them too long to get their makeup and costumes on since most of them were just regular clothes and makeup. They wrap more bandages over Gina's pink cast and give her the classic striped blue polo shirt, a gray hoodie, and some khakis. Her hair is down with it partially covering her eyes. The rest of the cast is wearing things pretty similar to their characters, except for Ricky who doesn't have the hair for Connor and is instead wearing a beanie to make him look more depressed. They also got a can of temporary hair colour to make EJ's hair gray which paired with the beard he was trying to grow out makes him look pretty old.
Once they are all in their costumes the next thing they have to do is start the musical. The beginning goes pretty well, Ashlyn and Kourtney are amazing in their duet and the choreography for "Sincerely Me" is mind-blowing. "If I Could Tell Her" is a little weird since they're sisters but that's made up by how amazing "Requiem" is because they changed it to a duet between Zoe and Connor.
But when they get up to "You Will Be Found" Gina starts getting really anxious in the beginning. She was never one to get stage fright but with her being the only one on stage and having to act scared, it all made her heart start to beat worryingly fast. That anxiety reminded her of when she was a kid and the first time she messed up on stage. It was a memory she didn't know about before and she didn't know why now was the time she decided to remember it. It was at a dance recital and she forgot one of the parts to the dance they were doing. Her mom was so furious that she messed up, the woman spent the entire ride home yelling at the girl about how Gina wasted all her money by messing up on the dance recital she had been taking the girl to dance classes for. Terri had made her do the dance over and over again, yelling at her whenever she got something wrong until the girl didn't have enough energy to stand. The images of that night played over and over again in her head along with the woman's voice. The emotions from it even started to come back, but she just remembered what Carol had told her to do and looked at the audience to search for 3 blue items. While looking she spots her mothers and sees them reassure her with thumbs up and waves.
She takes a deep breath and starts to sing realizing that she had taken too long of a pause. She can feel the sigh of relief from her castmates that she wasn't going to leave in the middle of a scene like Ricky did last musical. While she was able to continue with the musical the pictures hadn't stopped playing over and over again in her head. She was just trying her best to ignore them, so as soon as act 1 was over she rushed over to Seb to tell him that she couldn't continue. It was a hard thing for her to do, she had spent all this time practicing the songs, only to throw it all away. But she knew that her mental health was more important and she didn't want staying in a musical despite being in the middle of a panic attack to be a thing that Gina Salazar-Roberts does. It also helped to know that Seb would be really excited to be able to play Evan.
"Hey Seb"
"Hey, you did amazing out there!"
"Thanks, but I kinda just had a panic attack and honestly it might still be going on. So I don't think I'll be able to do act 2 without having another one"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah," She smirks "Come on, it's your time to shine"
He giggles "Okay, but if you start to feel better feel free to switch back in and you better be here for the bows"
"You're too nice, don't worry I would never miss a chance to be applauded"
She leaves Seb to get his costume on and searches for her mothers who are talking to Ashlyn's parent's.
"Oh look, here's our daughter," Dana says.
"Hi Debbie and Dennis, thank you again so much for letting me stay with you!"
"Oh, don't worry about it, your moms probably want to compliment you on what an amazing job you just did, so I'll leave you to it"
"Okay, see you later" Carol says "Hey sweetie, shouldn't you be with the rest of the kids getting ready for act 2?"
Gina looks down at her hands "I had another panic attack on stage so I decided that I would be better sitting out for the second act"
"I'm proud of you, you're getting a lot better at understanding your limits" Dana says as she lifts the girl's head up.
Gina grins "So what did you think of my performance?"
"It was amazing!"
"Ben Platt has nothing on you!"
"Thank you, thank you"
"Gosh, we are so lucky to have you as our daughter"
"And I'm so lucky to have you guys as my moms"
"So, sweetie, are you ready to talk about you running away yesterday?"
"I think I am"
She tells them all her worries, how she doesn't think Nini wants to be her sister, how she feels like it's too late for her to have a good childhood. They tell her they'll talk to Nini about making Gina feel more welcome at home. They also reassure her that there's plenty of time for her to have a good childhood and that her opportunity to be happy won't end when she's an adult. They then talk about the panic attack she just had, Carol and Dana plan to book her an appointment with a therapist to talk about them.
The lights blink to tell them that act 2 is about to start so they all go to their seats with the people next to them moving over to give Gina a spot. She is bummed to be missing part of the show but she knows that she won't get better by constantly pushing herself past her limits. So she decides to just enjoy the entertainment.
When the musical is coming to the end she finds her way backstage to be there for the bows. Her girlfriend spots her and immediately runs up to the girl.
"What happened? Seb told us you had a panic attack and couldn't do the last part"
"Yeah, I remembered something a bit traumatic from my childhood at the beginning of the song and I figured it would be better for my mental health if I were to sit out the second act"
"Look at you, taking care of your mental health! Well, how do you feel about going on for the last song?"
She smirks "I think I could do it"
Seb comes back from the stage "You found her! So do you want to do it?"
"Sure," Gina replies.
Once it's her cue Seb gives her a playful push and she takes a deep breath and goes out there. It isn't as scary as when she was there before. When she was doing "You Will Be Found" it felt so big, like she was a little kid again. But now it feels like just some wood that she's standing on, like nothing bad will happen if she messes up, like everything is okay. She faces the audience and starts talking.
"Dear Evan Hansen,
Today is going to be a good day
And here's why because today, today at least you're you and that's enough"
She starts to sing as the others slowly come out to sing with her and everything feels like it's okay. For years she had to deal with everything she was going through alone. But now she has amazing friends and an amazing family to help her deal with the aftermath of it. Maybe she will be alright for forever.
She looks into the audience to see her mothers there looking back at her proudly as she sings the final line that she now has to sing alone.
"All I see is sky for forever"
