After a very, very long time I'm finally writing the case that Callen was on during chapter 19 of 'Dinner'. It's going to be an angst filled little thing and oh I cannot wait!

Warnings: Violence. I'm still in the process of writing so I have no idea what other warnings will be added. Check back with each chapter!

I hope you enjoy!

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Rolling his neck back and forth Sam did his best to ignore the anger radiating from the man behind him. They had both known that it wasn't going to be easy when they were first assigned the Julian Roberts case. The man had evaded too many acronyms all over the world for it to be an easy take down. Still it was starting to feel like they were never going to make any headway.

It wasn't often that they had to go undercover as people that were up and coming in the criminal world. For the most part they had to be somewhat established if they wanted the people they were after to take them seriously. Having at least some kind of background that helped them get in quickly so they could get out just as quickly worked in their favorite. Normally at least.

Of course Roberts just had to be difficult though. They were having to start from the very bottom and work their way up. As annoying as it was he couldn't really argue with it. If he had been in the mans position he would have done the same thing. A thought that he very much hated having given the fact Roberts had, once again, killed everyone he deemed 'worthless' or 'untrustworthy' in his organization.

One would think that people would just stop trying to work for him, but no. In fact, it seemed as if even more people were attempting to join in. From everything they had learned if someone actually lasted long enough to be thought of in high regard the perks were like nothing they had dealt with before.

Roberts was a dangerous man for that very reason. It was one thing if the people they were trying to take down believed in something specific or were just hired guns. They knew exactly what buttons they had to push then to get in or to break that line of thinking. It was vastly different when the thing they were up against was a person that inspired not just fear but loyalty. That was a hell of a lot harder to break.

That was why Hetty had decided it would be a better idea to try something new. Roberts was never going to take them seriously if he thought they were on the same level as him. Being established at all made it so they were competition that needed to be taken out. That was the last thing that they wanted.

So they pretended that they were just starting to get into the business. Building a few connections and making sure that everyone around them thought that they were dangerous people to mess with. Something that really wasn't all that difficult to do. It was actually fairly normal. It just lacked some of the perks that they usually had.

Like the fact they were in a very rundown apartment building. He could almost hear the cockroaches running through the walls. Not to mention hearing practically everything that their neighbors were saying. If he woke up one more night to the neighbors screaming he was going to forget he was working and go over there himself. He had forgotten just how annoying starting from the ground could be.

Still, the most annoying part of it all was his partner. He loved Callen. He really did. The guy was like his little brother. He was just currently living up to being the annoying stupid that came with being the little brother.

Sam could admit that the team was at odds at the moment. They were trying to find their footing after everything that happened with Deeks. Having a member of the team ripped away like that wasn't something they could get over easily. They all needed time to figure out how they felt and then deal with those feelings.

It didn't matter that Deeks was still very much alive and that they could talk to him at any point in time. He had been hurt and forced to leave without any real say so on his part. That wasn't a thing any of them could just brush off.

He hadn't actually thought the man being gone would affect him as much as it was. It wasn't a secret that he and Deeks weren't close. He had always been of the mind that the younger man was going to end up leaving them sooner rather than later. The fact he had lasted as long as he did had always been a bit of a surprise to Sam.

Still, he didn't think the reason the man would leave would be because of an injury. That thought never crossed his mind. Yeah, he wasn't as well trained or disciplined as the rest of them, but he was damn good at his job. In his mind it was always going to be him getting bored and walking away from them.

Maybe that was way the thing that he always found himself focusing on wasn't the fact that Deeks lost his hearing, but the fact that there had been so much he hadn't known. He never would have guessed all of the lies and secrets that came out. Honestly, it would have been one thing to learn that Deeks had a secret family, given everything he already thought he wouldn't have been all that shocked, but to learn that family was Callen. That was something else.

He had known Callen for a long time. They were a family that had been telling each other the important things for a long time too. He was well aware that he didn't know every secret the man was keeping, but, at the same time, he hadn't told all of his secrets either. The important things though, the things that affected their day to day life, those they told each other. A part of him had actually thought he had gotten through all the walls that the younger man had put up.

He was wrong. Very wrong. It would have been one thing to find out that Callen and Deeks were dating. He could have at least understood why the man didn't tell him. A new relationship needed time and space to see if it was going to be the real thing or not. In their line of work you couldn't jump in head first without knowing what you were jumping into.

It wasn't a new relationship though. Callen and Deeks had been married for almost a fully two years. They had been trying to start a family. Hell, they had basically started one when he was finally told about it. At the very least he should have known what was going on before they had reached that stage. It wasn't like either of them thought it wasn't real. They knew they were in it for the long haul.

Yet it wasn't until the secret couldn't be kept anymore that things finally came out. It was only a slight comfort to know that he wasn't the only one that didn't know. A thought he knew Kensi agreed with. Still, as much as he hated to think it, it almost felt like a betrayal not knowing about something so big until the very end.

Maybe it was selfish of him to feel that way. Callen didn't owe him anything. If he didn't want to tell him about his personal life that was his choice. It was just a choice that he never thought would happen. They were family. Falling in love, getting married, having a child. Those weren't the type of things a person hid from their family. Especially one they see everyday.

Sam knew that a part of it was his fault. If he hadn't treated Deeks the way he did than it was completely possible that Callen would have felt more comfortable telling him about everything that happened between them. At least that's what he hoped. It probably wasn't a good thing that he had to question whether his friend would have told him at all if he didn't have to.

That thought echoed in his head though. No matter how many times he tried to stop it. He wasn't the type of person to hold onto things for a long time, but no matter how many times he tried to move past it the thoughts kept popping back up. Keeping him in that anger and confusion when he should just be happy for his friend.

And he really should be happy. In all of the years that he had known the younger man he worried about him and his connections to people. Callen was one of the most closed off people that he had ever met and it wasn't until you broke down a few layers of his defense that you started to see how he kept himself alone.

The amount of people that Callen could say were his family was so small it wasn't funny. Sam was fully aware that he wasn't one of the most social people on the planet, but he had people outside of work and his family. That wasn't something that his friend had been able to say for the longest time. Everyone he surrounded himself with was tied into his work.

Deeks had changed that. He had been able to give Callen something that he had been missing for so long. That was all that mattered. Callen finally had real ties to the world that kept him from doing some stupid things that could get him killed. That was victory in Sam's eyes.

Yet no matter how many times he used that argument on himself he couldn't ever truly get past it. Too many questions had been left unanswered and all Sam wanted to do was sit the man down and have a real conversation about it. Finally clear the air in a way that he wasn't sure Callen knew needed to be done.

Still, as he watched Callen pull out the cell phone they had to communicate safely with the rest of the world he knew that the conversation was going to have to wait. They were in the middle of the case and the last thing either of them needed was to be thinking about anything other than what they were working on. That was how people ended up dead.

"Deeks message you?" Sam found himself questioning as Callen slipped the phone back into the box of cookies.

"Yeah," Callen replied with a smirk and shake of his head, "Apparently, Izzy is having a hard time falling asleep right now. Deeks is exhausted."

"Poor kid."

"He said he's fine. Kensi and Nell are helping out a little."

"Does he have a choice?"

Sam watched the younger mans head snapped up at his question and he felt like cursing himself. He had just told himself that he wasn't going to bring up anything like that while they were working and yet that was exactly what he did. He had spoken without thinking. Something he always did his best not to do.

There was nothing he could do about it now. Not with the way Callen was looking at him. He wasn't going to let it go until they talked about it. That or he was going to ignore it until they had no choice but to talk about it. Maybe they should have had the conversation a lot sooner. At least a certain part of it.

He was fully aware that Michelle had talked with Deeks about everything that came with having a child while having a partner that was an undercover agent. A lot of things changed when that was the case. It didn't help that Deeks had lost his hearing and was having to learn how to live with that massive change. He had so much he had suddenly gotten thrown into. That hadn't really happened with Callen.

That wasn't to say that Callen wasn't trying. He knew that his friend was doing his best to make sure that everything turned out okay. At the same time though things weren't really all that different for him. He still went to work everyday and went on cases like there was nothing holding him back. All of which he doubted the younger man had even paid attention to.

"I'm doing my best," Callen offered trying to sound angry but failing.

"I didn't say anything," Sam responded leaning against the kitchen counter.

"Pretty sure you did. So what are you accusing me of?"

"Nothing."

"Sam."

"You didn't text him back. I'm just saying, whenever I was on assignment and I only was able to text Michelle I made sure that I did it every single time. Let her know that I was still there for her even if I wasn't there."

Callen deflated at that. Maybe it was cruel of Sam to burst his bubble like that, but he knew the younger man. As long as it was within his power to act as if everything was okay that was exactly what he was going to do. He loved to believe he understood everything that was going on around him and that he had it all under control. Even as it was falling apart. He didn't want that for him. For either of them.

He had seen exactly how quickly families fell apart over something like that. Not that he faulted the person for leaving. They weren't getting what they needed from their partner. What was the point in being in a relationship when half of the couple wasn't even there in the first place? It was better to walk away before it got more complicated.

"I don't want to worry him anymore than he already is," Callen finally tried to justify.

"And not replying," Sam shot back with a disappointed glare, "Ignoring him. That's somehow better?"

"Deeks knows how this works."

"Don't remember him ever ignoring us on a mission unless something was actually wrong."

Callen opened his mouth looking as if he was ready to argue only for a phone to start ringing. Instantly both of them were on edge. They had been waiting all week for Roberts to call them so they could finally really start their op. The fact that they were still in that annoying middle ground where the only thing they could do was wait pissed him off. They needed to start soon before there was no point at all.

"Hello, Mr. Roberts," Callen greeted his voice lowering and taking on a soft Russian accent.

"Mr. Stoker" Roberts drawled out the smirk clear in his voice, "Quick answer. What does that say about you?"

"I don't like being jerked around?"

"Maybe. That or you are very eager to please. I like the second more."

Callen looked over at Sam at that. They had truly only met with Roberts twice before and he had made it pretty clear that he found Callen attractive. Something they had hoped to use to their advantage. If he liked Callen and thought he might have a chance there was a higher probability that he would keep them around. It might not be the most comfortable thing, but it was useful.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Roberts purred out in amusement, "Is Mr. Merlyn listening in? Do you not like that? Good to know."

"I like it put all my cards on the table," Callen replied the frustration clear in his eyes though he made sure to keep his voice steady, "And yes, Mr. Merlyn is there."

"Hello, Mr. Merlyn. A pleasure as always.

"Hmm," Sam hummed out keeping to the silent partner his cover was.

"Lovely. I was thinking about your proposal and I have to admit I'm impressed. Something I don't say it lightly."

"I'm glad to hear."

"I'm sure you are. Especially what that means for our relationship."

"Relationship? Do we have one of those?"

"I certainly hope so. One way or the other. Let us meet to discuss the next step to make that relationship a little more permanent.