A/N: Apologies for missing my two deadlines this past week! Smite season 8 dropped this week, and I've been relearning the game. I'll try to keep uploads to once a week for all stories to the best of my abilities. This chapter was written in advance, so I didn't have to write anything new. Next chapter will feature at least one viewer requested song. Also, this has three of my ALL-TIME favorite songs in it, so I really hope you enjoy!
~ Ad Vitam, Ad Mortem ~


"I'll pick one. Natsu was actually pretty good," Loke volunteered.

"AH!" Lucy yelped in shock. "How long have you been here?"

"Come on, Lucy, it's only been a chapter! I've been here the whole time!" Loke told her.

"Oh, I forgot about-wait, CHAPTER? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?"

"That's not important. I'm just gonna pick one," he dismissed and walked up to the boxes.

"As much as I hate to compliment flame-brain, he's definitely better than Gajeel," Gray commented.

"What was that, ice princess?" Gajeel challenged, slamming his forehead against Gray's.

"You heard me, rust bucket!" Gray shot back. The two began to brawl with each other, though the rest of the guild was too involved with discussing Natsu's music to really comment or participate.

"So," Cana drawled. "We're all in agreement that the letters stand for the name of the person who the song is about, right?"

"That would be correct," Makarov nodded. "That would explain why Dragonborn was the only song without letters; because he wrote it for dragons and dragon slayers in general, not for specific people."

"Mommy, did Uncle Natsu write a song about me?" Asuka asked.

"I don't know sweetie, maybe we'll find out," Bisca informed her daughter.

"I think the real question is how do we convince Natsu to tell us who these songs are about?" Alzack asked. "I mean, we are going through his property without his permission. I can't imagine he'll be all too thrilled about it."

"Don't be such a spoilsport!" Cana complained. "If he didn't want anyone looking at them or listening to them, why would he give messages at the beginning of the songs? And why would he give hints about who the songs are about? If I were him and thought no one would ever see or hear them, I wouldn't write anything on them at all."

"Well, maybe he was planning on showing us one day," Erza suggested. "Or maybe he was just helping the audience-"

SMASH

"WHAT ARE YOU BRATS DOING?" Makarov roared, as a giant hole appeared in the guild's wall. "That's the fourth wall this month!"

"Do I need to teach you a lesson on how to behave?" Erza scolded with a cold tone and a glare.

"No, ma'am!" the two quickly replied and shot back to their seats.

"Well, now that that's over," Loke said, placing the disk in the player. "We can get started."

"Hold on a second, you didn't tell us what song it is," Mira halted him.

"Or who it's about?" Cana added suggestively.

"Right. This one's called Roads Untraveled, and it doesn't have a letter on it," Loke informed them.

"Maybe it isn't about anyone," Erza suggested.

"Well, we won't know until we play it, so I'm gonna do just that!" Loke announced, pressing play on the machine. (Song: Roads Untraveled by Linkin Park)

Sounds reminiscent of a record scratching played for a moment before a new riff came that was much different than any they'd heard before. It was similar to a chime or a bell and had an underlying sadness to it. Following a few repetitions of this, a series of piano chords began to play, further cementing the sadness of the song to the guild.

Weep not for roads untraveled

Weep not for paths left lone

'Cause beyond every bend

Is a long blinding end

It's the worst kind of pain I've known

Give up your heart left broken

And let that mistake pass on

'Cause the love that you lost

Wasn't worth what it cost

And in time you'll be glad it's gone

"That's beautiful…" Lucy whispered, with tears in her eyes.

"Amazing…" Mira added, listening intently. No further comments were made, as everyone was simply entranced by the soft sound of Natsu's voice matching the brilliant sadness of the song.

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh

Whoa-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Whoa-oh, oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh

Whoa-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Whoa-oh, oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh

Weep not for roads untraveled

Weep not for sights unseen

May your love never end

And if you need a friend

There's a seat here alongside me

Whoa, whoa-oh-oh-oh

Whoa-oh, whoa-oh-oh-oh

Whoa-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Whoa-oh, oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh

Whoa-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh

Whoa-oh, oh-ooh-oh-oh-oh

The song closed out, fading back into silence as softly as it had arrived as the members simply thought about what they had listened to.

"Why did he sound so sad?" Lisanna whispered, not recognizing the tone of the fire dragon.

"I've never heard him sound so...so miserable before," Mira added softly. 'Not since you left…'

"It sounded like he was regretting something that he had done, but what has Natsu done that he regrets so much?" Erza asked.

"I don't think it's that, Erza," Levy responded. "Well, not entirely."

"What do you mean by that?" she asked the bookworm.

"Well, think about it. The song's name is Roads Untraveled, so he's talking about a path he didn't pick. In other words, Natsu was singing about choices he didn't make," Levy explained.

"Exactly, so he's singing about how he regrets taking some of the paths he took," Erza reasoned.

"That's where you're wrong, or at least, I think so. He said 'Weep not for roads untraveled' twice in the song, which would imply the opposite. While Natsu may or may not have made the wrong choices, it sounds to me like he is trying to say that you should focus on the future rather than the past," the bluenette reasoned.

"That does sound like something Natsu would say," Lucy agreed. "But if he was singing about such a positive message, why did it sound so sad?"

"Well, that's the part I think Erza is right about. I think Natsu does regret some choices he's made, which is what makes the song so sad, however, he uses those poor decisions to focus on the future, rather than wishing he could change them."

"So it's not a love song?" Cana asked, disappointed.

"How could you possibly think that it was a love song, Cana?" Mira sighed.

"Oh, don't be like that. You wish it was a love song just as much as I do. Or do we have to listen to The Diary of Jane again?" she teased.

"CANA!" Mira squeaked.

"I'd like to pick one," Wendy volunteered, timidly.

"Go ahead!" Lisanna happily replied.

Wendy walked over to the box and dug through it shortly before finding one to her liking. "How about this one? It's called Innocence."

"Hmmm…" Carla hummed. "I may regret this, but I suppose that sounds appropriate, child."
"I don't need your permission, Carla," Wendy whined.
"I smell another love song!" Cana exclaimed. "I'll bet this is about how he lost his innocence. Was it you that took it, Mira?"

"CANA!" Mira shouted with a blush. "Natsu and I haven't done anything of the sort yet!"

"Yet, huh? So you're planning on it?" the lush teased.

"Lay off her a bit, Cana," Lisanna sighed, as her sister started stuttering in embarrassment.

"I'm just teasing her. Besides, it's not like I'm wrong," Cana defended.

"Might I remind you that there are children present?" Carla scolded. The cat sighed and rubbed her face. "Why Wendy chooses to associate with such hooligans is truly beyond me...Go ahead and play the song, child."
"Ok," the girl replied and placed the disk in the player.

"Now hold on a second! We need a letter!" Cana shouted out before the young slayer could press play.

"It doesn't have one," the girl replied as she started the song. (Song: Innocence by Nathan Wagner)

"Dammit!" Cana cursed as the song started.

The song began with soft piano chords and strange, echo-like vocal sounds. It sounded even sadder than the song before, as some of the members were closing their eyes thinking of the sadnesses they've experienced themselves, as the lyrics began to play.

[Natsu]

Before my garment lost its white

Before I saw my father cry

When fear was never on my mind

Take me there

"Is that like when Zeref made his scarf black?" Gray asked, only to be shut up by the guild with no response.

When all I saw was silver gold

When shadows didn't have a hold

Before I always needed more

Take me there

Bring me to the garden where we go

And cleanse my soul, cleanse my soul

Free me of this anger that I hold

And make me whole, make me whole

"He sounds so...broken…" Lisanna whispered, tearing up yet again.

'What have you been hiding from us, my boy…' Makarov thought sadly before the lyrics started again.

[?]

Darling won't you let it go

You don't have to let it hold you

Listen to the light

Don't let the darkness take you

"Wait, that was definitely someone else," Gray pointed out. "Who was that woman singing with him?"

"SHHH!" the guild shushed, as Natsu began singing almost immediately after the strange mystery voice had finished.

[Natsu]

Always in this inner fight

Do I listen to the voice that says I'm

Worthless never will be right

Do I try to keep my head up high

Though I feel that I deserve it all

These daggers going through my chest

Can't you see the devastated souls

The remains of my own foolishness

"Does Natsu really feel like this?" Lucy asked.

[?]

I'll bring you to the garden where we'd go

And cleanse your soul, cleanse your soul

I'll free you of this anger that you hold

And make you whole, I'll make you whole

Darling won't you let it go

You don't have to let it hold you

Listen to the light

Don't let the darkness take you

Your memories aren't your destiny

Your memories aren't your destiny

Your memories aren't your destiny

Your memories aren't your destiny

Everyone who knew of Natsu's true origins was thinking about them now. How he was secretly Zeref's brother and greatest demon, and how they would feel if they were suddenly told all of that. How would they feel? No one had really taken the time to sit down and think about how Natsu felt about it all, they had just assumed he would be like he always was, and would easily brush it off with a smile on his face, looking to the future. Unfortunately, they never considered that in order to look towards the future with a smile on your face, you need something in the future that you want to reach.

[Natsu]

If I looked you in the eye

And showed the broken things inside

[?]

I won't run away, I won't run away

[Natsu]

If you saw my darkest parts

The wicked things inside my heart

[?]

I won't run away, I won't run away

Listen to the light

[Natsu]

(Listen to the light)

(Listen to the light)

[?]

Listen to the light

[Natsu]

(Listen to the light)

(Listen to the light)

[?]

Listen to the light

[Natsu]

(Listen to the light)

(Listen to the light)

[?]

Listen to the light

[Natsu]

(Listen to the light)

(Listen to the light)

As the music faded into obscurity, the guild members were once again left in awe at the music's beauty and sadness, however, this time, the pain Natsu was in was rather prevalent.

"Who was that woman singing with Natsu?" Gray asked.

"I thought Gajeel said he only got two. Think he already claimed one?" Cana asked suggestively. Mira's eyebrow gave a slight, yet noticeable, twitch, and Lisanna gave the lush a quick disapproving glance.

"I don't think so, Cana," Levy squeaked out, slightly embarrassed.

"Why not, shrimp? Could be possible," Gajeel suggested, shrugging.

"It sounded more to me like the female voice took the figure of his mother. Is it possible that Natsu found his real mother?" she suggested.

"Kinky," Cana said simply, received a slap to the back of the head courtesy of Mira.

"Shut up, Cana."

"Unfortunately, that isn't possible, my dear. Natsu's real parents are no longer with us," Makarov informed her. "However, it is possible that he found someone to fill that role for him. Though it's equally possible that he hired someone to sing the part or simply is friends with a female singer. Natsu knows a lot of people, and is always going out of his way to make friends."

"He could've asked me…" Mira grumbled to no one in particular.

"Wait, you knew Natsu's real parents?" Levy asked, confused.

"No. It's a very complicated story, and one that I don't believe is mine to tell, but we have it on very good authority that they are no longer with us," Makarov informed her. 'Even if they hadn't been killed by those damned dragons, no one can live to be four hundred. Well, I guess Zeref did…'

"So is this song about Natsu's mother even though he never really knew her?" Lucy asked. She knew Natsu's story, but he hadn't told her anything about having memories of his mother.

"I wouldn't say that. I would say that it's about Natsu's struggles with his life. He seemed to be singing about his loss of innocence, which would match up with the song's name. Lines like 'before my garment lost its white,' and 'before I saw my father cry' are metaphors for losing one's innocence," Levy explained.
"First of all, they aren't necessarily metaphors. Flame-brain's scarf turned black on Tenrou Island during the S-Class trials, and I wouldn't be surprised if his father was crying before we all saw him pass," Gray commented. "But more importantly, how in the hell do you remember all this stuff?"

"I took notes," Levy answered simply with a shrug.

'Of course, she did…' the guild thought with a sweatdrop.

"There is one part I don't get, though. It seems like he's using this second singer as his mother figure, but I don't understand what they're talking to each other about. Most of the song feels almost like a conversation between the two singers, where Natsu seems to be struggling with something and his mother is helping him through it, but I don't understand what this 'darkness' is that he keeps talking about," the bookworm sighed.

"Well, that's unfortunate. Who knows, really. It could be anything," Lucy said nervously and perhaps too quickly to be convincing.

"Perhaps it's because of his dragon slayer magic. Maybe he was worried about becoming a dragon, like Acnologia," Makarov lied, fully aware of the darkness Natsu was going through.

"Didn't Igneel and the rest of the dragons seal themselves or something to prevent that?" Macao asked. "That whole thing was really confusing."

"Becoming a dragon is MANLY! Why would Natsu be scared of that?" Elfman asked.

"Why would Natsu want to become a dragon, big brother Elf? Think before you speak sometimes," Lisanna scolded.

"Sorry, Lis…" Elfman apologized disappointedly.

"I shall select the next song," Erza volunteered, breaking the line of questioning, though it allowed many of the members to think about the song they just listened to.

'Natsu, why didn't you tell us about any of this?' Mira thought sadly to herself. 'And you should have let me sing that part for you!'

'How long have you been dealing with this on your own, Natsu…' Lisanna wondered.

Gray, Lucy, Erza, and Makarov all had similar thoughts as they awaited Erza's selection.

"Make this one a love song!" Cana exclaimed.

"I don't think it's a love song, but this one is rather interesting," Erza said, standing up. "It appears to have two names."

"How can a song have two names?" Wakaba asked.

"Well, it says Far From Home, which I would presume is the song name, but it also says (The Raven) inside a set of parenthesis," Erza explained. "Maybe it's both? Far From Home (The Raven) is the full name?"

"That seems more likely," Mira agreed. "Does it have a letter?"

"No," she replied, marching over to the lacrima player to start the song.

'Hopefully, this one will lighten the mood a bit,' Makarov thought, frowning. 'You should know by now, foolish child, that the guild is your family and will be here for you.'

(Song: Far From Home (The Raven) by Sam Tinnesz)

From the first piano chord that was struck, the guild knew they were in for another tear-jerker. Of the three, this one sounded the saddest. The piano sounded old and rickety, like the instrument itself was in tears, before the lyrics began.

I'm sending a raven

Black bird in the sky

Sending a signal that I'm here

Some sign of life

I'm sending a message

Of feathers and bone

Just let me know I'm not forgotten

Out here alone

The air is cold

The night is long

I feel like I might fade into the dawn

Fade until I'm gone

'This may be worse than I thought…' Makarov thought, deepening his frown. 'Please, child. Don't let it be too late for us to save you.'

Erza looked at the floor sadly, her hair over her eyes, as she clenched her fist tightly. 'Dammit, Natsu! Have you forgotten what you taught me all that time ago at the tower?'

"Mommy, why does Uncle Natsu sound so sad?" Asuka asked.

"I don't know, dearie. Maybe Uncle Natsu is going through something difficult," Bisca replied sadly.

"Can I help him feel better?" she asked her mother.

"I bet you'd do the best job out of anyone," the gunner replied with a smile on her face.

I'm so far from home

So far from home

Not where I belong

Not where I belong

I'm so far from home

So far from home

'Fairy Tail is your home, Natsu,' Mira thought to herself. 'And no matter what, I'll make sure it stays that way.'

I'm sending a raven

With blood on its wings

Hopin' it reaches you in time

And you know what it means

'Cause out here in the darkness

And out of the light

If you get to me too late

Just know that I tried

I'm so far from home

So far from home

Not where I belong

Not where I belong

I'm so far from home

So far from home

So far

"Natsu's not thinking about…" Levy started, eyes widened in a whisper.

"No way," Gray snapped back. "Flame-brain may be a lot of things, but if there's anything he isn't, it's a coward."

"Ice princess is right, shrimp," Gajeel reassured. "Salamander's probably dealing with some major shit, but he'd never go that far."

'I want to believe them…' Lisanna thought to herself, tears in her eyes. 'Please, Natsu. You can't…'

The air is cold

The night is long

I feel like I might fade into the dawn

Fade until I'm gone

I'm so far from home

So far from home

Not where I belong

Not where I belong

I'm so far from home

So far from home

Not where I belong

Not where I belong

So far from home

Not where I belong

I'm so far from home

As the song slowly echoed out with more piano chords, the only sounds that were heard were a few sniffles from the many mages who understood the song's message. There were, however, several people who didn't quite get it.

"Am I missing something here?" Alzack asked. "Why is everyone crying?"

"Alzack, honey…" Bisca said, disappointed.

"Alzack…" Levy said, looking at him with tears in her eyes. "That song was about suicide."

Alzack's eyes widened, as well as the few members who hadn't quite understood the song.

"Mommy, what's suicide?" Asuka asked.

"Very very bad," Bisca answered, hugging her daughter. "I'll tell you when you're older."

"Why would Natsu write a song about that?" Lucy asked. "He's always so happy. Everyone has a skeleton in their closet, but this is something bigger than we could have imagined."

"So help me if Natsu even thinks about that, I'll bring him back from the dead and kill him myself!" Erza declared, slamming a fist on the table, though tears were clearly visible in her eyes.

"When is Natsu supposed to be back? I'm worried about him…" Mira asked.

"Natsu's supposed to be back tomorrow," Happy replied sadly.

"Did you know about any of this, Happy?" Lisanna asked the cat.

"No. I've heard a few songs that Natsu wrote, and some of them are sad, but nothing like this," the cat replied.

"Why didn't you tell any of us?" the young whitette inquired.

"Natsu didn't want anyone to know about his music, so I didn't want to tell anyone. Besides, he always said he was doing ok, and that music was his way of dealing with everything. I couldn't take that away from him…"

"That makes sense, my child," Makarov nodded. "Many people have their own ways to express themselves. Perhaps Natsu's way of coping with his emotions is through music. It's his way of getting all the negative or dark thoughts out of his head so he can focus on the positive."

"I hope so," Mira said with a forced sad smile.

"Alright, mama needs her beer money, so it's time for another love song," Cana announced, trying to break some of the tension that had built up to the point where Erza could easily cut it with a sword. "My turn to pick."

"You've had a turn already, Cana, let someone else go," Lisanna scolded.

"Alright, fine, but if no one wants it I'm going again."
"I suppose I will go," Evergreen volunteered.

"Pick a love song!" Cana yelled as the brunette approached the boxes.