Fatigue

Neji hadn't slept all night, which was incredibly inconvenient because the mission was reaching its apex. Because he was not used to being in a situation where he wasn't prepared for action, he found it difficult to manage the stress of feeling unfocused at work.

He shouldn't have tried to kiss her.

Now he couldn't imagine what her lips might have felt like without feeling guilty, overwhelmed… and tired. It was tough to admit but he needed to face the truth. He'd botched up this mission.

He tried to rectify it by sneaking off in the morning hours to visit Tsunade before Tenten woke up but Tsunade wouldn't hear of his resigning from the mission.

"You're too integral to back-down. I know it's weird working with someone whom you simultaneously know really well and don't know at all, but I expect more from you. You're a great soldier but I need you to be more sure of yourself in the face of uncertainty."

Tsunade had given him a stern look afterwards. So, he'd made a different request.

"I do want to be a better soldier. And I think I'd be good at more specialized missions. Perhaps you'll consider me for a promotion."

At this, Tsunade had seemed surprised. The last time they'd talked about a possible promotion, he'd been adamant about not leaving his team. Now he couldn't get away far enough.

"I'll think about it," Tsunade had promised, then continued eating her breakfast fish. Of course Neji had barged into her room while she was eating. But he didn't feel too bad about it.

He felt a little bad for himself. Everyone always expected him to be perfect, including himself. Never lose control, never do anything stupid. And when he did, people were so disappointed in him because it wasn't like him. Well, maybe he wanted to be a little stupid every once in a while.

Although, thinking about it, that wasn't true either. What Neji wanted was the freedom to be stupid. He wanted himself and others to not always expect the world from him, so that existence became just a little easier for him. That's what he wanted. Reprieve from himself and others.

He didn't necessarily want to do stupid things; he just wanted the knowledge that it would be ok to do stupid things.

But no such luck today. Today would have to be free of stupid things, so he banished Tenten, his feelings and that godawful almost-kiss to the back of his mind. He only allowed his mind time to roam free while he was meditating and then put everything back in order.

When he came back home, Tenten was already awake, had showered and was going over mission details with Sakura and Naruto. She didn't even ask where he'd been and Naruto and Sakura assumed he'd been away on official business. Of course, Neji Hyūga would never just leave. Neji Hyūga always did what was expected of him.

So, Neji sat down and gave his all to the mission.

Tenten did not have time for feelings. She could not believe she'd told Neji. But there was no going back now. She just hadn't been able to hold it in any longer. The dissonance of seeing him alive while knowing he was already dead had been too much for her. Especially since he was acting so differently with her since she'd arrived here.

She would have preferred it if the past Neji had treated her like her Neji, the one she knew. Respectfully, distanced, closed off, but attentive nonetheless. Tenten tried not to think about her Neji but the images of him just kept rushing at her even while she was doing other things, like shower or eat.

Neji had always been so quiet, watchful. Only meeting with her once a month because of his busy schedule, but never missing a meeting or showing up late. He'd listened to her a lot but hardly talked about himself. Some people had considered it a weird friendship but Tenten had really cherished the time. And, thankfully, only when they had both been very careless, would their skin touch and that spark would soar up her arm. And now she couldn't get the idea out of her head that maybe it had soared up his arm as well.

It was a relief when she woke up and he wasn't there. He'd been in her dreams enough; she couldn't handle him invading her during waking hours as well. When he returned from wherever he'd been, he seemed different. Or rather the same. The same as the Neji she knew. He was professional, quiet, focused on the mission. No more cocky, charming, self-deprecating…

Tenten stopped that line of thinking.

She had a tea house to invade.

ttt

They started with gathering intel. Hinata came over to tell them what she had found out that morning when checking out the tea house and its environs. As Hinata was talking, Tenten suddenly interrupted and said:

"I could use a photograph of the area."

"What?" Hinata responded.

"You know. When the light hits the chemicals… and you have no clue what I'm talking about, do ya?"

Tenten looked self-conscious. Neji couldn't ignore that she seemed to be remembering more of her actual life and what it was like in the future.

"Nope," Hinata admitted. "Not a clue."

"Ok. Please disregard everything I just said."

"Done"

"Great." Tenten sounded exhausted. "What I need is a sketch or something."

They made schematic maps of all the guards' locations and they debated different approach strategies. Tenten made some executive decisions that prioritized stealth again. She still hadn't recovered all of her memories but she felt very strongly that the less ruckus she caused the better. She also didn't make any direct eye contact with Neji, but he was the only one who noticed.

ttt

After they spent a lot of time hashing everything out, they went deep into the woods to where Tsunade kept a training ground for private missions and they did some dry runs. There were certain skills involved that Tenten needed to know her teammates had. It was mostly about rendering someone unconscious without making too much noise, but there were also aspects that Tenten wanted to practice just at least once, no matter how basic.

"Neji, be a ladder."

Neji, who had been watching Tenten's muscular body run through the exercises with them, responded a second late with:

"What?"

His uncharacteristic lack of focus did not go unnoticed. Everyone stared as Tenten repeated:

"Be. a. ladder."

Neji was still a little on edge because of how she'd been treating him all day. Even now she wouldn't meet his gaze directly.

"What. do. you. mean?" He replied with the same syllabic emphasis.

"Oh for fuck's sake," Tenten exclaimed, losing her patience with him. "Come here," she demanded. "Yeah. Now go down on one knee."

Neji swallowed hard.

"What now?"

"Oh by the gods!" Tenten exploded at him. "The hell is wrong with you today?"

Before she could yell at him some more, Naruto, ever-helpful, took Neji's spot, went down onto one knee and interlinked his hands to do exactly what Tenten had commanded. He was a ladder.

After the dry run, they were sitting in the grass at the training grounds and enjoying a little sun. That was until Naruto let slip what they were all thinking.

"You're more classy and directive now."

It took Tenten a second to realize she was being spoken to.

"No, I'm not."

"Yeah. Definitely. You're just so … different. Like you're not even the same person anymore."

"Like you transformed or something," Sakura added in agreement.

Tenten stroked the heft of her kunai. It was obvious she was contemplating her answer. Neji could also tell there were some kind of emotions involved.

"No," Tenten began again. "Back then I just didn't have any support at all. You all were busy with your own little problems despite the fact that you have talent coming out of your wazoo."

This surprised everyone there and especially Naruto and Sakura sat up a lot straighter.

"What?!" they exclaimed.

"Yeah," Tenten huffed and then continued in a mocking voice: "Oh no, I'm an orphan with a fox stuck inside me that makes me so insanely strong that I can kick anyone's ass." She gave him a pointed look, at which Sakura snickered. Tenten went on in a similar voice.

"Oh goodness, I'm the prettiest girl around but the prettiest boy in class doesn't like me and one of my bodyparts doesn't conform to beauty standards but I have more chakra control than I know what to do with."

Sakura stopped snickering abruptly. She and Naruto shared a look, then she asked:

"Were we really that annoying?"

"Yes."

"Oh."

"So I'm not really all that different," Tenten concluded and obviously thought the conversation would end with that because she let herself fall back into the grass.

"But you still seem so different now," Hinata agreed. "I don't know you very well but I'm pretty sure I would have heard if you were this… this… special."

This made Tenten sit back up in a huff.

"I'm not special," she set straight. "You wanna know what I have? The ability to not be defined by my life narrative. I don't have to be the pretty girl turned serious warrior or the underdog showing it to everyone."

When everyone was still hanging at her lips, Tenten decided to elaborate some more.

"I can be a completely ordinary person, without a life story, that just does her job. So, please, don't give me a story. I'm not the tomboy turned classy or the talentless girl turned team leader. I'm just me and that's enough. Now, let's go get me the damn thing in that teahouse, so I can figure out what my job here is and do it."

Everyone was still a little awe-struck but they started to gather up their gear and get ready to leave for the Hyūga compound. Neji stayed. He had heard all of her words and he felt the need to tell her something. That she may be ordinary but she was special to him. But as soon as he began to move closer to her, Tenten hissed under her breath:

"No, Neji, don't touch me right now."

Neji nodded, solemnly, his jaw so tight Tenten could hear his teeth grind.

"Get it together. I need you to-" She stopped herself mid-sentence.

"What do you need me for?"

"I need you to be yourself," she finished her sentence. The implication was clear. She needed him to not be who he really was. She just needed him to be the Neji she knew.

Then she turned away from him and helped the others prepare.

ttt

They waited until nightfall and then they left. The Hyūga estate was large and vast. It took them a while to arrive at the perfect vantage point. There were two lines of defenses. It was very clear the teahouse was hardly ever used for tea ceremonies, but that there was something precious inside. Tenten was all efficiency, Neji noted. She spoke when it was necessary and her fingers and hands moved with a precise quickness that reminded him again how much this Tenten differed from his.

Both lines of defenses were just guards standing around. But the first line was in a wide perimeter around the teahouse, whereas the second one was close to the building. The gardens offered enough opportunity to sneak up on any of their opponents. Sakura, Hinata, and Naruto took the back of the house, whereas Tenten and Neji took the front. Their backs had full packs strapped to them with equipment they would need. The first defense was taken out manually from close range because they carried torches that needed to be stabilized. Before the guards' bodies fell down unconscious, each ninja grabbed the torch and pulled a wooden holder from their pack, thrust it in the ground and fastened the torch to it. That way, in the dark, it would still look as though whoever had been holding the torch was standing upright.

Then they moved closer to the teahouse. Tenten, of course, could not see Hinata, Sakura or Naruto approaching from the other side, so it was Neji's job to let her know if anything looked off. But so far, everything was running smoothly. They made it even closer to the tea house before Tenten stopped at the tree she had chosen this afternoon. It looked even more perfect from up close than it had from afar. Neji made a gesture that Hinata would be able to see from across the lawn. As expected the communication worked and the three ninjas from the opposite direction stopped their encroach.

Then Tenten gestured for Neji and this time he understood what she wanted him to do. He slung his fingers together and let them drop between his legs. Tenten used his hands as a ladder and he boosted her up to where the tree had its first branches. The ease with which she clung to the trunk amazed Neji. She also looked very stable as she balanced on the branch, gently leaning against the trunk. Then Tenten pulled the long blowgun from her pack and loaded it with the darts soaked in a sleeping aid Tsunade had made for them. Once her gun was loaded, one could see she used her respiratory muscles and lung capacity to shoot the darts over the distance. The first guard went down without a hitch. Three guards needed to be taken out this way and Tenten was an excellent shot. Then she stuck the thing back to her pack and climbed down the tree trunk.

As they moved closer to the tea house to meet up with the others, Neji grew closer to Tenten. Before quite reaching their destination, he crowded her and whispered that there was someone inside. He could tell she wasn't entirely comfortable with him being so close but he hadn't wanted to shout the info at her. At least she was being as professional as she could. When they met the others, Tenten divided up the group again and ordered them to enter via the windows while she and Neji took the main entrance.

Inside a surprise waited for them.

"Traitor," Hanabi hissed at Neji right before Tenten tackled her, moaning "Great, another Hyūga."

Neji was half-expecting Tenten to take Hanabi out as effectively as she had Hinata but that wasn't happening this time. Hinata, who had entered from the side as instructed, was momentarily stunned by Tenten using their family fighting style against one of their own, but then threw Neji a worried glance when things were starting to look bad.

Naruto and Sakura were paying less attention to the fight as their job was a different one. They were already searching the place.

"Hey, stop that," Hanabi demanded, looking over her shoulder at Naruto and Sakura. "Turn around and fight," she demanded, but Tenten kept her busy. Until Hanabi landed a hit and Tenten was unable to use one of her arms anymore. It had only been seconds since they'd entered but Neji had already lost his patience.

Hanabi had produced a kunai and was now seriously jeopardizing Tenten's life. Neji wanted to help Tenten but she just made another sharp gesture over her shoulder at him to keep looking for an item that might be considered dangerous or valuable. Sakura and Naruto were already tearing all the ceremonial tea equipment apart but now Hinata and Neji joined. They took the place apart while Hanabi fought with Tenten.

It was still strange to think that his Tenten could take on one of his family members but, again, Neji needed to remind himself that this wasn't really his Tenten.

They were working their way around the room fast. Neji was pulling boards up from the floor when he caught something disturbing from the corner of his eye.

Hanabi landed another hit. Tenten looked surprised.

There was something wrong with the image. Tenten's footsteps had been growing slower - she had shook her head a few times as though to clear it - and now she actually tripped.

Before Hanabi could land a serious hit, Neji gave Hinata a signal and then threw himself on top of Tenten, leaving his back exposed. As expected, Hanabi went for the trap, aiming at Neji, and so Hinata could take her out from behind.

Feeling gratified that he had stabilized the situation, Neji started to get off of Tenten's body. As he looked down at her on the floor, his breath hitched. Tenten was so pale that he immediately searched her body for a wound he hadn't noticed before. But apart from her left arm everything was fine.

"Tenten?" Neji murmured, worriedly.

"Will you get off of me?" she pressed out. Not expecting that response, he made sure to scramble off her completely. In the background he could hear Hinata asking Hanabi whether there were any more guards around.

To Tenten, Neji responded:

"What? This is dangerous."

"I know," Tenten hissed through clenched teeth. She had to shut her eyes for an instance as though she were in pain but Neji could not find any source for it. He unblocked the chakra in her arm, so she could use it again and checked some of her cuts. But nothing explained why Tenten was still glued to the floor.

"Well, your life is obviously worth more than mine. You can't die here," Neji hissed back. "You're the one who has to go back to the future."

For a second they had an unspoken conversation - her still lying flat on the floor, him crouched above her, one of his hands clenched around her arm. But it was their eyes that did the talking, boring into one another, aware that more was being communicated than being said. Then Neji broke the moment by saying:

"Now, can you get up?"

Tenten let him pull her back to her feet, but she was wobbly. Not sure what to expect from his superior, Neji stayed close, one hand always close to her in case she needed stabilizing. Tenten carefully walked over to where Hinata had Hanabi restrained.

"She won't talk," Hinata reported.

"Where is it?" Tenten wanted to know, ignoring everything else. "It's here somewhere and I need to know what the hell it is."

Hanabi looked defiant and proud, then disappointed in both her cousin and sister.

"I'm not telling you anything," Hanabi spat out.

Tenten's eyes narrowed. She looked over to where Naruto and Sakura had stopped searching. They shrugged, indicating they could not find anything particularly interesting. Then Tenten looked back at Hanabi and figured something out.

"She doesn't know either," Tenten announced. Then she buckled. Neji caught her before her knees hit the floor and Tenten righted herself again but everyone in their team was highly unsettled by the sight.

Tenten leaned heavily on Neji's arm and indicated a corner, where Sakura and Naruto had uncovered all kinds of stuff. He walked her over, so she could peruse every item. There she fell to her knees and went through it all. Tenten was fanatic the way she searched through tea cups and other assorted things. Neji couldn't see anything interesting there at all but Tenten just kept moving stuff aside. Neji knew he wasn't in charge but Tenten had taken some kind of hit and wasn't telling them about it. That itself was strange. He nodded to Hinata and gestured for her to release Hanabi to Naruto's grip and to go stand watch. If you wanted to know whether someone was approaching, it was best to get a Hyūga as a look-out.

"You shouldn't have betrayed Father," Hanabi began when she felt Neji's cool gaze rest on her. "He's not always as evil as you make him out to be. It's tough to be head of a clan and he's also only trying to do the best he can."

"I know. But just because he's not a bad man doesn't automatically make him a perfect man. You shouldn't follow him blindly. Basically, what you need to ask yourself is what kind of ninja do you want to be? Are you going to use your own judgment or follow orders blindly?"

"You follow Tsunade's orders blindly!"

"No, I follow her because she doesn't expect me to follow orders blindly. I follow them because I think she makes good choices. I don't always think Hiashi makes good choices, no matter how well he means."

Their conversation was interrupted when Tenten stopped rummaging and leapt to her feet. She was holding something, but she stuffed it into her pack so quickly Neji couldn't get a good look at it. It seemed like just a thin short metal barrel but surely there must be more to it. Tenten also grabbed bags of something and stashed them in her pack with very quick fingers. Neji couldn't help but notice that she had broken out in a sweat. She held onto him again as she got up and Neji grew more worried by the second.

When Tenten had risen again, she was pale and looked urgent. Even Hanabi seemed more scared by the wild look in her eyes.

"You're going to have to come with us," Tenten murmured, barely audible. Hanabi gulped. Tenten nodded to Naruto, who gagged their captive.

"Naruto, you and Hinata take Hanabi to Tsunade. I'm going to need you to take escape route number 2. Sakura, you will be in charge of diverting any followers on your own. Can you do that?" Originally Naruto was supposed to carry out this task with her but Sakura was a quick thinker and she nodded. Tenten tugged at Neji's pack and, confused but obliging, Neji pulled it off him.

"Sakura, you're going to have to carry his pack too. As well as..." With heavy movements Tenten unfastened a lot of her items, so that she was left with only the bare bones of her pack.

"...mine. Remember, no signs that it was from us. Plant the contradictory evidence and make sure you stay out of sight." Sakura nodded again, shouldered the extra weight and headed off at the same time as Naruto and Hinata left with their captive.

Strangely Tenten waited until the others had left to give Neji his marching orders. Originally they were going to split up again and he would have been in charge of creating a second diversion in case the guards woke up and tracked them or someone had been watching them without attacking, ready to follow them. But, apparently, now all bets were off.

"You're going to have to help me," Tenten announced.

Neji nodded.

"You need to help get me to Tsunade. As quick as possible."

"Permission to speak," Neji asked. Tenten nodded, exhausted.

"Wouldn't it be smarter if I did what you did last time and just took whatever you found to Tsunade now?"

"No," Tenten answered. Then she looked as though she might collapse, so Neji held her close to him.

"I feel like I did when I arrived in this time," she whispered. "I'm afraid you'll need to hurry. I need to get to Tsunade. I remember my mission now." Tenten's voice was a croak and Neji understood immediately. It was of the utmost importance that Tenten finish her mission and they needed Tsunade for this.

"Can you hold on to me?" Neji asked.

"I think so," Tenten answered and allowed him to sling her over his back.

They made it off the Hyūga property this way but halfway through the woods of Konoha, on their way to Tsunade's home, Tenten's grip strength lessened.

"Stop for a second," she commanded and Neji gently lowered her to the ground.

"Swear you'll finish what we started," Tenten rasped as she leaned against a tree trunk.

"Of course."

"You can't tell anyone apart from Tsunade."

He nodded and came to kneel next to her. Tenten had grabbed the metal barrel from her pack.

"This is a weapon. It's deadlier than a kunai. Have Tsunade take a close look at it and the bags in my pack and then she needs to forbid anyone from ever building anything similar. Swear."

"I swear."

"I'm very tired, Neji, so I think it's better if you just continue."

"That's all?"

"Make Tsunade look at it on her own. She'll understand."

Neji wanted to nod but he had a completely different thing on his mind for a second. Tenten looked exhausted - as though she had traveled a great distance. Which, he supposed, she had. She'd travelled years worth and it did look as though time had caught up with her.

"I'm sorry about the kiss," he blurted out. "I really hope you get home safe. And I won't do a single thing to mess up your future."

He pressed her arm in a silent goodbye, stuffed the pipe and the bags from her pack into his, then he turned around and just left her there. She would probably just vanish the same way she'd just suddenly appeared. And if it wasn't that easy, if it was painful, then Neji didn't want to see. If he was going to die heroically anytime in the future, then he needed to know she was going to be ok.