Haha I'm really glad I could get a laugh out of you guys as that was the sole reason for making this. Just to clear up any confusion this story takes place during season 8

Fanfiction Trauma


Chapter 4: Slash, Slash, Slash, and more Slash

The doorbell rang again and Morgan stood upwards with a grin. "Alright, that must be Rossi!"

"Are we really doing this now?" Reid groaned.

"Yes my baby boy we are." Garcia replied as she headed for the door with Morgan. She paused momentarily to turn to Reid. "Are you still a bit freaked out; you want me to hold your hand?"

He smiled. "No I think I'm good; I can handle it."

The trio then walked over to open the door where David Rossi stood.

"Hi Rossi." Reid greeted with a wave.

"Yo," Morgan saluted with two fingers.

He raised a brow. "You didn't tell me Garcia was here. What are you planning children?"

"Oh nothing." Garcia answered with a smile.

"Enough of this talking," Morgan ordered as he led Rossi inside with a hand on his shoulder. "I got something to show you."

"Yeah I got that part already Derek." Rossi replied. "Now what exactly are you going to show me?"

The three led him back to Reid's room where they beckoned the laptop.

"This." Morgan finally answered.

"That's nice... it's a laptop." Rossi said wondering why his trusted colleagues would bring him over just to see a laptop.

"Aah yes, to the untrained eye that is what it would look like but look closer." Garcia replied.

"Hang on now I'm not doing anything until you three start talking." Rossi declared. "What's going on?"

"Alright look," Garcia began. "Reid found this site called Fanfiction, have you heard of it?"

Rossi gave her a blank stare. "No."

"Oh yeah, I forgot you're a bit of an alien when it comes to electronic devices."

"Oh actually Garcia aliens aren't so ignorant to technology," Reid corrected. "In fact there's several theories that states they're even more advanced in technological equipment than us."

Rossi sighed. "Get to the point Penelope before he goes on."

She chuckled. "My bad. Well Fanfiction is a site for people to post stories up; now here's where the plot thickens. There's this one particular section that... has all our names on it."

"I'm sorry?" He uttered in pure disbelief.

"I can't explain it either; you have to see for yourself." Reid said as he beckoned the chair.

Morgan grinned mischievously. "Yeah Rossi, have a seat."

Rossi sat down warily onto the chair and eyed the screen. His eyes widened as he received his confirmation. "This is... strange."

"But, it's worthwhile." Morgan added. "Go on, check one out." He was instantly relieved to be spared from reading these horrible stories and was glad to pass the burden onto someone else.

"Don't mind if I do," he murmured as he began his search. When one caught his attention he clicked on it. "How about this one?"

Scandal in the BAU

"Oooh good choice Rossi." Garcia squealed happily.

"Don't celebrate yet." Reid warned

"Kid's right," Morgan agreed. "What's the summary and all say?"

By SpreadtheRainbow

Summary: There's a dirty little secret that a certain profiler is hiding. It's gotten to a certain boiling point and it can't be kept secret anymore.

Rossi eyed the others with a smirk. "You guys wouldn't be hiding something now would you?"

"No way!" Garcia said. "You know how bad I am with secrets."

"You do realize it said a 'certain profiler' right?" Morgan added. "That doesn't exclude you from the party."

"Just please don't let it be me again." Reid stressed out.

This will feature !M/R ! SLASH!

"What's 'M/R slash'?" Morgan asked.

"What I want to know is what's the point of the capitalization and numerous exclamation points?" Rossi said.

"It's for emphasis." Garcia replied.

Rossi gave her a confused look. "I'll never understand your lingo."

"I asked my question first," Morgan complained with crossed arms. "So I should've received an answer first. Reid what do you think it means?"

"I'm not so sure, from what I've gathered it appears this site has its own vocabulary; one that its fanbase understands."

The profilers in the BAU building were bored doing nothing but paperwork. They had returned just yesterday from a tough case and were now left to do all the paperwork that had stacked up.

"Hey who's up for some beers when we're done?" JJ suggested.

"I'm in." Morgan said.

Morgan groaned. "Just my luck, I was hoping I wasn't going to be included."

"Judging from your reaction I take it you have yet to read a pleasing story." Rossi deduced.

"No, but let's not jump to any conclusions crime fighters." Garcia added.

"So am I." Reid

"Aaahh!"

"You mind telling me what your problem is?" Rossi groaned as he rubbed his ear.

Morgan slapped a hand to his forehead. "Damn we forgot to tell you about Reid's uncontrollable yells at the mention of his name."

"Yeah I think a warning may have been nice."

quickly joined in.

And so afterwards the crew headed towards one of their favorite bars with the exception of Hotch who stayed with his son.

"I definitely needed this break." Rossi

"Aaah!"

Reid smirked smugly. "And you judge me."

Morgan frowned. "C'mon Rossi, don't tell me you're a screamer too?"

"It just caught me off guard, that's all." He assured him.

said.

It was already late at night when they had arrived. The streets were pretty empty but the bar had its fill of customers.

"Aha! I got it!" Garcia suddenly said. "What if this 'M/R Slash' thing is a code for an unsub with a knife."

"You know what babygirl, I think you might be onto something." Morgan replied.

Rossi shrugged. "It's the best we've got so far."

Reid

"Aaa—" his yell was successfully muffled when Morgan elbowed him.

was really glad he'd decided to come along. He turned to eye his team and his stare lingered, as it usually did, on one particular agent.

"Huh?" Reid said.

"No way!" Garcia gasped. "Reid is the one hiding a secret! And he has a crush on someone in the team!"

Morgan's grin only grew and he swung his arm over Reid. "Who is it kid? Is it JJ, or Blake, or is it Emily?"

"It's no one." Reid growled as he removed the man's arm.

Rossi chuckled. "Apparently the story thinks otherwise. Perhaps it's Ashley?"

"Why am I always in all of them?" The genius groaned.

"Do you want to dance Spence?"

"Oh my God it's JJ!" Garcia cried.

"She's with Will." Reid simply pointed out.

He barely heard her as he was too distracted staring at his shooting star.

"My what?"

"No wait... it's Emily!" Garcia said.

"You do realize there's a chance it could be you too, right?" Rossi stated.

"What? That's totally impossible."

"And that would be because?"

"Because me and Reid are completely incompatible and not even Fanfiction could make us work."

"Fair enough."

Emily turned to whisper to Rossi and Garcia who were seated next to her. "You noticed Reid's been staring again?"

"I knew it, it's Blake!"

"Alright enough with the guessing Penelope." Morgan grumbled.

"Wait... but Alex wasn't with us when Emily was." Rossi said. "And if you're positive that it isn't you Penelope, then..."

Morgan went pale. "I think I know who it is."

The three all turned to him; each had no idea who it was and was hoping Morgan would enlighten them.

"It's Strauss!" Morgan gagged as he held his stomach. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

"You! I'm the one who's being humiliated here!" Reid said.

"Reid and Strauss... I would've never seen that coming." Garcia murmured. "And when I say 'never' I mean I'd of never seen it coming."

The profilers and tech had no idea how far off from the truth they were.

"Yeah I noticed." Rossi said. "It's too bad his target is as blind as a bat."

"I'm getting sick of this, it's time we do something about it." Garcia added.

"Oooh look it's me!"

None of the males were surprised by her sounding joyous.

"But what?" Emily asked.

At that moment Derek showed up and sat down next to the genius. "Man I'm beat."

"Well of course you are, you've been dancing around with every woman out here." Emily said.

"Yup, it's all in a day's work."

Rossi chuckled. "I see the author managed to get your ego down right."

"Bite me."

And suddenly Reid began growing nervous and quickly excused himself to the bathroom.

"Reid you didn't yell." Garcia said, her shocked look mirroring Rossi and Morgan.

"Yeah, I'm starting to control it now."

The tech smiled as if he'd just won a spelling bee and gave him a hug. "I'm so proud of you."

"I still haven't seen Strauss." Rossi exclaimed.

"And still no unsub with a knife." Morgan added.

A lightbulb appeared on Garcia and she nudged Derek. "Hey go check on him."

"What for is he alright?"

Emily smirked and played along. "No, he seems to have a lot on his mind, go and see."

"Sure why not."

"Why would you suggest for Morgan to check on me?" Reid asked.

"Beats me, I didn't write this." Garcia answered.

"They probably want me to school you on how to confess to the love of your life, AKA Strauss." Morgan taunted.

Reid sighed. "Why couldn't it be Rossi who goes?"

Rossi contemplated that very thought himself. The story had yet to show Strauss so a wave of suspicions began creeping onto his head. There was something else they weren't seeing. He shook his head and shrugged it off. It was his day off; he wasn't about to profile a story.

Morgan headed to the bathroom where he found his friend. "Hey there kid, what's wrong?"

"N-Nothing I'm j-just fine."

Reid frowned. "Why am I always stuttering in these stories?"

"The girls told me something was up, and now that I think about it you've been acting different lately."

"I just have a lot on my mind." He blushed.

Morgan smirked. "Who?"

"W-What? No one!"

"You can't hide anything from a profiler." He leaned closer and enjoyed how Reid would shift under his close proximity.

Morgan twitched. That sounded so wrong.

"Do you always get in everyone's space?" Reid muttered uncomfortably.

By now they were each having their suspicions about where this was headed but none would voice it out.

Reid gulped nervously and swallowed the lump starting to form. Could he tell him about his feelings? Should he tell him? And. suddenly he snapped. He couldn't hide this anymore, especially from him.

"You gonna tell me who now?"

It then dawned on Morgan that he truly didn't want to know. This wasn't fun anymore.

Reid nodded slowly. "It's you."

"Aaahh!" Reid shouted.

"Well this is interesting." Rossi murmured with a teasing smirk.

"What the hell is this?!" Morgan snapped glaring daggers at the screen.

Garcia wore the biggest cheshire smile one had ever seen. "My chocolate thunder and my boy genius together, I'll pay to see that."

"Never!" Reid retorted. "It'll never happened!"

"God, okay now I feel sick." Morgan groaned as the popcorn he'd been eating earlier threatened to fall out.

Morgan stood—

"Whoa Rossi, you can stop reading now!" Morgan quickly cut in.

"Thank goodness." Rossi replied. "I don't feel comfortable reading stuff like that."

"Like hell!" Garcia interjected. "If you won't read it then I will."

"No don't!" Reid pleaded but it was too late as the tech had already begun.

speechless as he heard the confession. All this time he thought it had all been wishful thinking.

He pulled him towards the wall. "You don't know how long I've wanted to hear that."

"No! I never want to hear that! You hear me, I never want to hear that!" Morgan snapped angrily and completely freaked out.

"And I never want to say it!" Reid added with the same disgust.

"I think you can stop now Penelope," RossI suggested. "For all of our sakes."

Garcia smiled deviously. "Oh I am far from done."

"What?" Reid—

"Aaahh!"

"Guess your back to yelling again." Garcia said.

"The poor boy's control has been broken." Rossi replied. "Can you really blame him?"

said. He never imagined for a second that Morgan would return his feelings.

Before anymore could be said he was shoved onto the wall by Morgan who was now kiss—

"Hey what are you doing?!" Garcia said as Morgan snatched the mouse.

"No we are not reading that, unless you want me to puke all over you."

"Fine." She finally conceded.

"I feel so violated right now." Reid muttered.

Rossi placed a supportive hand onto his shoulder. "Easy there Reid, it's all over now."

"I'm looking for one now!" Morgan said as he slammed the poor mouse down and dragged it around as he searched for a story.

"You guys are such party poopers." Garcia complained.

"It's safe to say that I should've never come here." Rossi stated before sighing. "But I'm here now, so I have to see it through with you."


Author's Notes

Poor Rossi knew he should've left. Heh I'm not a slash fan at all but like I said we're touching all the aspects that comes with Fanfiction dot net, and sadly slash is a part of it. This was dedicated to all the slash lovers.