Disclaimer: I do not own Owari no Seraph (Seraph of the End). I write this for your enjoyment only. This fic is an alternate retelling of the Nagoya arc with differences from the original; please refer to the footnotes at the end. Once again, I would like to thank my beta reader, ResidentialPsycho, for her help in making this fic possible. Enjoy and please review!

Chapter 13: The True Fear of Loss, Part I

Ebina Rest Stop

"Where are they? I told those brats to get here early…" Guren growled impatiently as he looked down at the antique 19th century-style pocket watch Yuichiro had given him as a Christmas gift before she left for the Shibuya Guard. From the look of things, he saw that it was approaching fourteen hundred hours.

Sayuri and Shigure, who were walking just slightly behind their commander, gave each other a look of concern but said nothing. They both knew Guren was more worried about Yuichiro than anything, even though the younger girl was more than capable of taking care of herself. They also knew Yuichiro normally did not have a problem being on time and that, if she was this late along with the rest of Shinoa and Satoshi's squads, something must have happened to them.

But both women knew it was probably better if they remained silent and waited for the junior squads to show up, whenever that may be.

Norito Goshi, however, tried a different approach to lighten Guren's sour mood. Waving what appeared to be a men's magazine in front of his friend, he said in the most cheerful tone he could muster.

"Hey, Guren, I know you're worried about Yuu, but lighten up, will ya? She's a big girl now. And speaking of girls, check this out!"

Instead of being appreciative of his friend's efforts to cheer him up, Guren found himself growing more irritated.

"Check what out?" he asked with a roll of his eyes.

"This!" Goshi answered with a grin as he pointed to an old swimsuit edition of the popular western magazine, Sports Illustrated, from over eight years ago. *1*

Unimpressed, Guren scowled. "And what's so special about that, Goshi?" he demanded.

Giving his friend a look that asked if he had been living under a rock, the blond man answered.

"Duh! It's a swimsuit issue of Sports Illustrated! We were just high school kids before the apocalypse struck but now we're old enough to read these kinds of magazines, right? Man, I sure do miss seeing chicks in bikinis. I mean, it's not like the women in the army run around in 'em."

"And why would they?" Guren shot back. "It's not like anyone can go swimming now that the oceans are filled with acid!"

"Aww, come on! You know the ocean's not the only place for hot bikinis!" Goshi insisted as his hungry eyes wandered to Sayuri and Shigure.

"And where else would you wear one?" Guren retorted.

The blond man placed his chin in his hand as he pondered the thought.

"Hmm… love hotels?" he joked. "But seriously, wouldn't you love to see Sayuri or Shigure or better yet, Mito, in a bikini?" Goshi persisted with a wag of his eyebrows.

Unlike her friend, who was usually more accommodating to Goshi's whims, Shigure shot the blond man a look that told him not to waste his time asking her because she would certainly not wear what she believed to be ridiculous strips of cloth that barely covered her privates decently. That was, unless Guren himself requested it.

Sayuri blushed at the suggestion. She had worn swimsuits before in her youth but nothing as provocative as the models in Goshi's magazine.

Fiddling with the skirt of her uniform, the honey-colored haired woman blushed like a shy school girl and looked down at her feet.

"Umm… well, if the lieutenant colonel says he wants to see me in a bikini, I'd be happy to wear one…" she said quietly. Though Sayuri wasn't used to wearing provocative attire, she was willing to do anything for Guren.

Excited by Sayuri's offer, Goshi turned back to Guren with puppy dog eyes that almost seemed to sparkle with excitement.

"Really?!" he asked loudly as if he were a hormone-crazed teenage boy instead of the grown man he was. "Did you hear that, Guren? Say you wanna see 'em in bikinis, please!"

Annoyed with his subordinate's childish behavior, Guren tried to change the subject before Goshi embarrassed himself further.

"Anyway, did you see any vampires inside the building?" he asked.

The blond man shrugged. "Dunno, haven't looked."

That careless answered earned him a glare from his squad leader.

"Something tells me you're not really good at your job, Norito," he snapped.

"C'mon, you know Mito is much better at that kind of thing than me," the blond man replied cheerfully as he happily flipped through the pages of the magazine in his hand.

What a useless idiot… Guren thought as he shook his head and looked past Goshi's shoulder to see the scarlet-haired woman approach.

Knowing that he wasn't going to get anything useful out of Goshi, Guren turned to her instead and asked.

"Find anything, Mito?"

"Nothing" she answered coolly. "I have searched the entire premises and can assure you that there are no signs of a vampire presence."

Seeing another chance to get some eye candy, Goshi took it. Turning to Mito, he asked,

"Hey, Mito, how about you put on a sexy bikini for us?"

The scarlet-haired woman was startled at the sudden and strange request.

"What?" she asked incredulously.

"Well, Guren here says he'd love to see how your hot body looks beneath that boorish uniform!" Goshi teased with a grin, making Mito blush furiously like a young school girl.

Considering her love of sweets, it was a miracle the scarlet-haired woman had managed to maintain her slender figure, even with intense martial arts training. But that didn't mean she liked to prance around almost naked to give eye candy to perverted men.

"Wh…what? Are you serious, Guren? At a time like this?" Mito demanded as she turned to her squad leader.

Instead of trying to deny Goshi's claim and Mito's accusation, Guren merely brushed them off when he noticed several military trucks pulling into the driveway.

"Good, it looks like everyone else is here at last" he said smoothly as he took the chance to leave the awkward conversation with his subordinates.

Infuriated that her secret crush was ignoring her, Mito shouted behind his back.

"Hey, don't walk away from me when I'm speaking to you!"

Ignoring Mito, Guren slightly picked up his pace without turning around until he noticed a vehicle that stood out from among the others approaching.

Knowing that only one person would to dare make such a flashy entrance with him in charge, Guren rolled his eyes and sighed as he watched the metallic red sports car stop in front of him before the door on the driver side opened to reveal a most useless and impractical white-haired major general with a piece of toast stuck in his mouth.

"Hawwo!" Shinya greeted cheerfully in a muffed tone with a wave of his hand.

Unfortunately, like Goshi before him, Shinya also failed to lighten his friend's sour mood with his flashy entrance and childish greeting.

"What are you doing here, Shinya? And why did you come in that car? The engine is way too loud; it's like you're practically begging the vamps and Horsemen of John to find you."

Before Shinya could answer, Goshi walked up from behind Guren and gawked at his friend's new car.

"Whoa, where did you find that awesome car, Shinya?" he asked excitedly. If there was one thing Norito Goshi loved just as much, if not more than beautiful, sexy women in bikinis, it was exotic sports cars.

"On the side of the road; it looked to be in good working order, so I decided to hotwire and take it as my own. I even covered the engine with sound-muffing tags to make it quieter, so that it wouldn't attract the Horsemen of John."

Unimpressed, Guren crossed his arms and said:

"That's such a waste of talismans, Shinya. What if you don't have enough should you run into a situation where you actually need them?"

Shinya brushed off his friend's concerns with a wave of his hand, a habit Shinoa had picked up from him when she chose not to take something seriously. Guren swore that his best friend was undoubtedly a bad influence on his adopted little sister but he also knew that it wasn't his place to tell the Hiragis how to raise their own.

"You know I'm always prepared for just about anything, Guren. I may not look like it, but I carry a lot of talismans on me for trivial whims and emergencies."

"I still think that car is a useless waste. Even before the apocalypse, the only thing those things were useful for is displaying the flashy lifestyles of the rich."

To that, Shinya gave his best friend a bit of a disappointed look but knew he shouldn't be surprised; Guren was never the kind of person to be impressed by material things like expensive houses, designer clothes, or flashy cars.

"I swear, Guren, even in a world like this, you need to learn to appreciate the finer things in life. Live a little!"

"Never mind that, Shinya. In any case, what are you even doing here? This isn't the kind of mission someone of your stature should bother with."

"True," the other man agreed as he casually munched on his toast. "My dear brother told me about it; you do realize that he just sent you on a suicide mission, right? There's no way you can take on ten vampire nobles, even with the entire MDC, without the backup of the rest of the army. That's just pure insanity."

"Probably. But we really don't have a choice. If we let the nobles attack first, our entire army will be wiped out anyway."

Shinya laughed after swallowing the last of his snack.

"You are ever so self-sacrificing, Guren! Unfortunately, I can't let you have all the fun, so I've decided to bring myself over here to offer my assistance. You can thank me later," he teased with a wink.

"Hmph! I don't recall asking for your assistance, Shinya. But since you insisted on bringing that flashy heap of junk here, I may as well make good use of it," Guren snorted before casually jumping on the hood of the car and clearing his throat before making an announcement to the soldiers who had begun to gather around him and his squad.

"Listen up, everyone! You've all been called out here for a reason and if we fail, all of humanity will die with us! As soon as everyone is gathered, we shall depart for Nagoya; the directives I hand out will cover specific strategic details…"

As they gave their squad leader his moment in the spotlight, Shinya quietly moved closer to Goshi and whispered in his ear.

"Hey, Goshi, don't you think Guren comes off as a bit childish making his inspirational speech on top of that car? Especially since he was going off about how useless it was just a minute ago?"

Goshi grinned as he crossed his arms and answered quietly.

"Doesn't surprise me, really. He may act like he doesn't care for it but I bet Guren is really dying to take it for a spin and probably would jump at the chance to do so if he didn't have to focus on this mission…"

Shinya was about to say something else when he heard the sound of a female clearing her throat from behind him and Goshi.

"Ahem!" Mito scolded. "No whispering like school kids in class, boys. This mission is important so pay attention!" she hissed. *2*

Both Shinya and Goshi rolled their eyes but obeyed.

"Yes, Miss Jujo", they said in unison.

SSSSSS

"Hey, Yuu, it looks like we're finally here; I can see the Ebina sign in the corner," Kimizuki said as he pointed towards the rusted, beat-up sign that finally confirmed their location.

"Great," she answered. "Now I just gotta find a place to park this thing."

"You can try that spot in the back behind the other vehicles," Shinoa suggested.

Looking in the direction where Shinoa pointed, it didn't take Satoshi long to figure out why she wanted Yuu to park there.

"Trying to cover up the fact that we've arrived half an hour later than we should have, Miss Hiragi?" the blue-haired squad leader asked in a none-too-pleased tone as Yuichiro parked the truck.

Shinoa laughed. "You worry too much, Mr. Hiwatari! I'm sure that if we blend in real quietly with the gathered troops, the lieutenant colonel will never notice we're late."

Satoshi snorted. "Well that might be true if the one person he's most watchful of wasn't a member of your squad," he said grimly as he nodded his head in Yuichiro's direction.

The girl in question sighed in slight frustration. As if she needed a reminder of how there was no way Guren wouldn't notice she was absent or late to the MDC gathering.

But they both knew that wasn't going to stop the purple-haired brat from trying to cover their asses anyway, futile as it may be.

"Shinoa, we were supposed to be here by fourteen hundred hours and would have made it if you didn't decide to leave me and Satoshi behind to walk. We're lucky that we're only half an hour late instead of a whole hour thanks to my speeding," Yuichiro added as she tried to keep a lid on her temper.

"Miss Hyakuya, you worry too much. I'm sure your guardian has a lot on his mind, so surely he wouldn't notice if you as well as the rest of us are a little late to his gathering," Shinoa assured as she hopped off the truck and onto the pavement where she smoothed out her uniform. Satoshi rolled his eyes but said nothing and followed close behind.

"We're not a 'little' late, we're at least thirty minutes late," Kimizuki said grimly as he dreaded to think about how badly Guren might react to their tardiness but supposed it couldn't be helped. So pushing the thought to the back of his mind, the pink-haired boy got out of the truck and walked to the back to help Mitsuba as well as the Harada twins get off.

"Thanks, Kimizuki…" Mitsuba said after her squad mate gently set her down on the pavement. "So it looks like you do know how to be a gentleman after all." *3*

Trying not to let the blonde girl see him blush, Kimizuki turned his head away from her and said:

"I just don't want us to be any later than we already are if you got hurt trying to get off." Looking over Mitsuba's shoulder, the pink-haired boy called out to his male companions. "Don't expect me to help you guys down, too. Hurry up and move your asses so we can join the lieutenant colonel and the rest of the MDC."

"Yeah, yeah. We get it, Kimizuki," Daisuke said as he followed Shinoa's example and hopped off the truck with Yoichi and Takeshi following close behind.

After she had made sure the brakes on the truck were set, Yuichiro finally got out to meet the rest of her companions. Not wanting to waste any more time, the ravenette finally took charge as if she were the leader of both squads.

"Let's go, everyone."

SSSSSS

"I'm telling you, Shinoa, this is never going to work…" Yuichiro grumbled as she reluctantly complied with her squad leader's quiet order for everyone to tiptoe to the back of the large group of soldiers gathered near the red sports car Guren was standing on top of like a make-shift stage. Shinya and the rest of his squad were standing in front of the car while silently allowing Guren to do all the talking.

From the look of things, the lieutenant colonel was making a speech that they missed a part of by being half an hour late, but Yuichiro could still tell it had something to do with his plans to ambush the nobles in Nagoya. Like Yuu herself, Satoshi also opposed having both squads sneak into the gathering like thieves in the night but gave into Shinoa's plan because deep down, he also hoped they can blend in without being noticed to avoid inciting Guren's wrath.

Unfortunately, such a notion was wishful thinking.

"Shinoa! Satoshi! Nice of you and your squads to finally show up!" Guren shouted in a voice loud enough to be heard by every soldier at the gathering.

Both squad leaders as well as their subordinates cringed when they heard themselves being called out by Yuichiro's less-than-pleased guardian for their tardiness. But Guren wasn't through with them yet.

"I was wondering when you kids were going to be here! It's a miracle you didn't manage to miss the entire war!"

Like children caught with their hands in the cookie jar, Shinoa and Satoshi finally stood upright with their squads following suit. Before Satoshi could tell her to just confess and apologize, Shinoa tried once again to cover their asses.

Or more accurately, her own since she knew it was her fault both squads were late.

Scratching her head, Shinoa brought on her most charming smile and laughed.

"Well, sir, we have a very good excuse for being late! I mean, it's not like we stopped by the hot springs for a-"

"Shut your mouth, brat!" Guren shouted angrily, obviously not in the mood for his subordinate's antics. "This mission isn't some childish game! If you can't even show up on time or follow basic orders, we don't need you! Go home!"

Yuichiro's breath hitched in her throat at her guardian's explosive anger. So far, Guren had tolerated Shinoa's antics because she was General Hiragi's daughter, but this time he had no patience for her childish pranks; he made that clear when he humiliated the purple-haired girl in front of everyone.

Not wanting to lose the chance she had spent the last four years training and studying for, Yuichiro suddenly stepped forward and cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry, sir, this is all my fault. I didn't know how to drive so teaching me on the way made us all late."

Although such a confession came across as embarrassing to the other soldiers, many of them were impressed with the poise in which Yuichiro spoke and carried herself.

Guren himself was no exception and a small smile tugged at his lips as if he were expecting his ward to say such a thing.

"I see. So does this mean you'll go home then?"

Yuichiro shook her head as she made a salute.

"No, sir! I wish to stay and be of use in our fight against the vampires! Please allow me to, sir!"

Shinya was silent but shot Guren a look with same subtle smile as if imploring him to indulge Yuichiro and overlook her mishap.

Not like the man needed any persuasion and finally answered Yuichiro.

"Very well, Miss Hyakuya, you and your squad may come, so fall in line. Just know that you will be disciplined later. Do you understand?"

Palming the hilt of her sword, Yuichiro held her ground without flinching at the not-so-subtle warning.

"Yes, sir."

After securing his ward's cooperation, Guren nodded before continuing his speech.

"Listen up, everyone! During this mission, I will have ZERO tolerance for anyone who doesn't follow orders or regulations. Nor will I tolerate anyone screwing around or treating it as a game because it is not. I will be upfront in that many of us will likely die but this is a cause worth risking our lives for! I don't want us just coming home alive: I want us coming home victorious!"

As he finished his announcement, Guren shook his fist in the air and pulled it closer to his chest, the gesture exciting loud cheers from the rest of soldiers gathered around the red sports car that served as his stage.

After the cheering had died down, Shigure stepped forward with a notepad in her hands as she prepared to make an announcement of her own.

"Now I will pass out orders for each individual squad. Leaders, when you hear your name called, please step forward with your squad starting with Makoto Narumi Squad!"

"Yes ma'am!" a youthful male voice answered. Out of the corner of her eye, Yuichiro saw a young man with a brown top-knot, answered Shigure's summons. *4*

While waiting for her own squad to be called, Shinoa quietly walked up to Yuichiro and gently tapped her on the shoulder from behind to get her attention.

Without turning around, Yuichiro asked "What?"

"Umm…I'm sorry, it was my fault you were reprimanded. I know Guren isn't going to go easy on you just because you're his ward," she apologized.

Yuichiro sighed. "Forget about, Shinoa. What's done is done; we're just going to have to deal with it and move on."

The purple-haired girl sighed but said nothing; what else could she say?

Knowing that there was nothing they could do about the earful Yuichiro would inevitably get from Guren, Shinoa remained silent and watched with her subordinate as Shigure called forth one squad after the other to issue them their orders. The only squads she had not called for yet were Shinoa and Satoshi's squads.

"Special Private, Yuichiro Hyakuya, come forward!"

Instead of being embarrassed at being called out individually rather than with her squad, Yuichiro merely flipped her ponytail over her shoulder, stuck her pert nose in the air, and obeyed Shigure's command.

"Yes ma'am!" the ravenette answered as she tried her best to ignore the stares the other soldiers were sending her way, including Makoto Narumi. Yuichiro had no doubt they were wondering why she had a boy's name instead of a girl's but tried not to dwell on it because she knew there were more important things that require her attention.

Shigure said nothing but made a gesture for Yuichiro to follow. Yuu nodded and was about to leave with the older woman when she felt Shinoa tap her on the shoulder again.

"Wait, Yuu! It's not right for me to let you take the heat for this since it was my fault we're all late so I should go with you and explain to your guardian."

"Yeah, we're also at fault for going along with Shinoa so it's only fair we come along too…" Kimizuki added, concern for Yuichiro apparent in his eyes.

Satoshi snorted. "Well, I'm glad you're taking at least that much responsibility. But regardless of how it happened, we're all late so we should apologize to the lieutenant colonel together and hopefully he won't be too harsh with Miss Hyakuya."

Turning, Yuichiro saw all of her comrades in both squads silently nod their agreement but she shook her head.

"No. Guren has called specifically for me, so I'm the only one who should answer. Besides, this won't be the first time I'm lectured by him so I'll live. Just wait for me out here."

Before any of the others could protest, Yuichiro quickly left them and followed Shigure who was courteous enough to give her a moment with them.

As Yuichiro followed Shigure into an abandoned building, the older woman suddenly spoke up.

"The lieutenant colonel is rather displeased with you, Yuichiro. I hope you have a good explanation for him."

"I understand; I'll do my best. By the way, it's good to see you again, Shigure."

Shigure's expression softened, even as she remained with her back to Yuichiro.

"Likewise, Yuu…" she replied softly.

The older woman said nothing more, Yuichiro didn't expect her to, and remained silent for the rest of their walk until they arrived at a dimly-lit room where Guren and the rest of his squad awaited them.

As soon as they were inside, Shigure stepped aside to make room for Yuichiro, who was following close behind.

"She's here, sir," the raven-haired woman said simply.

Bracing herself for another one of Guren's boring lectures, Yuichiro made a brief sigh and stepped forward. She had not seen or spoken to her guardian much since her "interview" with Kureto and hoped that she could have avoided him for a bit longer, but supposed it couldn't be helped if Guren wanted to speak to her now.

"Hey, Yuu. How're you holding up?" the older man asked in a good-natured tone, confusing his ward for it was not quite what she had expected after seeing him explode on Shinoa earlier.

Yuichiro raised a brow and blinked in confusion.

"What? Why are you casually asking me that when you're about to 'discipline' me as you told everyone else out there?"

Guren smiled as he sat on the edge of the desk behind him and crossed his arms.

"But it wasn't really your fault that you were late, wasn't it? So why did you lie and apologize for your squad and Satoshi's?"

Yuichiro shifted slightly on her feet, a habit she picked up whenever she got nervous about something.

"I don't know what you mean, sir."

"What I mean is that I know you, Yuichiro. You're an exceptionally fast learner so, even if you had to be taught how to drive on the way here, it still wouldn't have been enough to make everyone late. So what really happened? Did Shinoa ditch you on the highway for an hour or two?"

"I…"

Yuichiro hesitated to deny Guren's assertion which they both knew was right on the mark. And as much as Yuichiro wanted to cover for Shinoa and the others, she still knew better than to lie to her guardian's face, especially in front of his squad, the people who helped him to raise her from childhood.

Knowing that he had his ward right where he wanted her, Guren gave a smug grin.

"So I'm right, aren't I? Knowing Shinoa, it was probably her fault that you're all late."

Irritated that her mentor had seen right through her, Yuichiro glared at him.

"If you already know this, than why did you even call me here, sir?" she sneered.

"I see that your tongue remains as sharp as ever, Yuu," Guren chided. "But we're not home now; we're getting ready to go on a dangerous mission, so try showing some respect to your superiors, ok?"

Before Yuichiro could answer, everyone heard Shinya suddenly burst into laughter as he playfully poked Guren in the back.

"Haha, that sure sounds funny coming from Mr. 'Do as I say, not as I do!' I swear, you're such a gold-mine when it comes to hypocrisy, Guren! Do you have any idea how much I smooth things out after officer meetings because of your loose tongue?" *5*

Now it was Guren's turn to be irritated and spun around to glare at his best friend.

"Get lost, Shinya! You're being a nuisance!" he growled as he attempted to swat the other man's hand away while trying to hide his embarrassment at being called out on his hypocrisy, especially in front of Yuichiro.

Sayuri rolled her eyes and sighed at her superiors' antics before approaching Yuichiro and giving her a motherly kiss on the cheek like she did when the younger girl was a child.

"Don't mind them, Yuu," she said kindly. "I'm sure what Guren means is that he's proud of the fact that you're willing to take all the blame to protect your friends."

"She's right," Mito added after shooting Guren and Shinya an annoyed look for their childish bickering. "We're all proud of you and glad that you're doing well."

Yuichiro smiled as she squeezed the hand Mito placed on her shoulder. After leaving for the Shibuya guard, Yuichiro had grown a little taller until she was finally tall enough to stare Mito in the eye while standing.

"Thank you…I've missed you all too, even though I've managed to make some new friends."

"So are they starting to feel like 'family' to you, little Yuichiro?" Goshi teased. "I remember it wasn't too long ago when the only thing on your mind was exterminating vampires."

Yuichiro blushed. "I guess…"

Even Shigure had to smile in amusement at the younger girl's answer. As much as Yuichiro has grown, some things about her stayed the same and Shigure honestly wouldn't have it any other way.

"You guess?" she asked. "Well, I suppose that is a good start…"

Yuichiro rolled her eyes and turned back to her mentor who had finally managed to get Shinya off his back for once.

"Anyway, you still haven't answered my question, Guren: if you've haven't called me here to be 'disciplined', then why am I here?"

"Why? Simple: to teach Shinoa a lesson. That brat obviously doesn't take me seriously so I'm going to have to drill it into her head whose boss." Turning to Goshi, Guren gave his next order:

"Start the illusion. And make it good."

Before Yuichiro could ask Guren what he meant, the blond man grinned as he put his pipe to his mouth.

"Don't worry, sir. I've got something really special in mind for the kid," he said before taking a drag and blowing out a cloud of purple smoke past Yuichiro.

Puzzled, the girl turned around to see what Goshi was talking about and was shocked when she saw an illusion of herself tied to a stake…

Footnotes:

1. The magazine Goshi finds at the rest stop is described as a 'dirty magazine' in the manga which confuses me because in the west, 'dirty' is implied to be nude/pornographic magazines but since Goshi mentions that the women in his magazine wear bikinis, I chose the Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition.

2. In the manga, Guren hits Goshi for comedic purposes whenever he makes dirty jokes but I've decided to leave that out in my AU.

3. In canon, Kimizuki is actually not much of a gentleman, especially since most girls he interacts with ticks him off but in my AU, he is quite fond of fem!Yuu and tries to impress her by acting like a gentleman when he knows she's watching.

4. A top-knot is long hair tied into a pony-tail or bun and arranged on the top or near the top of the head as Makoto Narumi wears.

5. "Do as I say, not as I do" basically means "take my advice even though I am acting contrary to it". In canon, Guren is a known hypocrite among his friends, especially Shinya since he orders male!Yuu to respect him as a superior while dissing his own higher-ups, including General Hiragi.