I thought it'd only be fair to add Blake in since she's a part of the BAU squad. And honestly she's grown on me; before I was neutral to her but now I realized she's cool in her own way. The topic I'll be touching on this chapter is one I've seen on more than one occasion in this fandom.

Fanfiction Trauma


Chapter 8: Spencer Needs a Spanking

"Hey Morgan you can't just keep inviting people over." Reid complained.

Morgan placed his arm around him. "Oh relax pretty boy. It's like Penelope said, this is like a family get together."

"More like a death wish," Rossi corrected.

"Who knows guys, the next one might just be a good one." Garcia said and mentally prayed that someone would agree, because she had some serious doubt on her own words.

Will shrugged. "I'm fine so long as I'm not involved in any of them."

The doorbell ringing caused them to pause. Morgan eagerly headed out to answer it. "I got it!" He opened the door to find Alex Blake.

"Hey Morgan." She greeted.

"Yo!" He replied happily before pulling her in for a friendly embrace. "Glad you could make it."

She shrugged. "Anything for a friend I guess."

Morgan led her towards Reid's room and motioned the 'guests'. "Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you it wasn't just me and Reid here."

Blake stared at the crowded mess. "Huh,"

Garcia was the first to greet her and soon Blake was under a big hug. "Hi there sunshine! Welcome to our little party."

"It isn't a party Blake," Reid warned. "Run while you can."

"Okay what's going on?"

"Hi Alex!" Henry greeted from the bed. "I'm a dinosaur!" He waved the toy in the air.

Blake smiled. "Hey there little guy."

"Where are our manners?" Rossi asked as he went to give her a quick hug. "Good to see you."

JJ followed in suit. "I guess we're just fated to be inseparable even outside of work."

She chuckled. "Tell me about it."

Will extended his hand for a handshake. "It's nice to see ya."

"So what's the special occasion?"

At this Morgan smirked; placing his hand on her shoulder he guided her to the laptop. "I want you to have a look at what we found."

She turned to him and shot him an unamused look. "So let me get this straight; you interrupted my one free day to show me an internet site?"

"He interrupted all of us." Rossi added with a frown.

"Actually Penelope interrupted me." Morgan countered.

"Actually Reid interrupted me." Garcia corrected.

"I wanted you to check my laptop for a virus I didn't say open Pandora's box." He replied.

"We can all point fingers later guys," Blake chimed in. "But first I'd like for Morgan to tell me what the reason he called me here was."

"Well," he began with a smile that resembled an unsub with something to hide. "You ever heard of Fanfiction dot net?"

"Can't say that I have."

"It's this site where people can post up stories that range from several different fandoms." Morgan explained. "Now here's the kicker, we found a section filled with our names."

Blake gasped. "What? You mean us as in 'us'?"

"That's right," Reid added. He then began to explain all the stories they'd encountered from the horrible grammar one all the way to the one with Will as an unsub.

It took a moment for Blake to digest the information. "Wow, that's um... interesting."

"See for yourself," Will suggested. "Go ahead and pick one out."

"Uh sure." She responded reluctantly while the others took their seats.

"Oooh not so fast there," Garcia cut in. "There's two— I mean three simple rules. And that is no skipping a story, no changing stories, and under no circumstance are you allowed to leave."

Blake cringed slightly. "Got it."

JJ knelt down by Morgan. "Hey Derek you do realize she's going to regret this, right?"

"Would you have rather read instead?"

"Point taken." She shook her head in shame. "I can't believe I'm stooping to your level."

"Found one." Blake called out.

"Oh just before we get into any reading," Garcia cut in and placed a hand on Reid. "Our little genius here has contracted what Rossi has cleverly diagnosed as Fanfiction-itis."

"I think I should be the one called doctor from now on," Rossi joked. "Just picture it, Dr. David Rossi. It has a nice ring to it."

"Get your own title." Reid complained. That was a special memento left by his mentor Gideon and he was definitely not sharing it.

"What exactly is that anyway?" Blake asked.

"Well, when Reid's name is mentioned he has an immediate yelling reflex to it." Garcia answered. "Just cover your ears."

"Appreciate the warning Garcia." She replied before getting back to business.

Disciplinary Actions

By 88Anti-Will88

"What?!" Will snapped. "Have we not torn me apart enough already?"

"Hey maybe it isn't so bad." Garcia tried to reassure him.

Summary: First of I wanna say that I don't own Criminal Minds

"Wait, what?" JJ cut in. "What's Criminal Minds?"

Rossi shrugged. "I have no idea."

"Uh that's the section we're under." Reid answered.

"It sounds legit if you ask me." Garcia said. "I mean really, think about it. We're all crime fighters protecting the world from the sinister evil."

"Well that's a creative way of putting it." Blake replied.

"Why are we even under a section anyway?" Morgan added.

"Don't break a brain cell trying to figure it out." Rossi replied.

but I wish I did. During a case in Detroit Reid—

"Aaahh!"

Luckily the warning had been heeded and Blake didn't suffer any hearing damage.

had disobeyed a command in order to save a child from a burning building. The actions although still cause Hotch to give him a spanking.

Blake paused at that. "A what?"

Morgan laughed. "C'mon girl you don't really expect the meaning to be literal; it's a joke."

"We all get the Hotch talk eventually." JJ added.

"Yeah can you imagine if it were," Will joked.

She laughed. "Yeah you're right."

Poor law enforcers had no clue how wrong they were.

The team had just arrived back to the BAU building and were all pretty sore from the long case. The ride had been pretty awkward as well. The team wasn't ignorant to the reason though.

They all knew it was due to what had happened during the case beforehand. During the case Reid—

"Aaahh!"

had been the only one near the victim. The unsub had planned one last fire in his own son's house. Hotch had ordered him to not do anything rash but he still disobeyed and rushed in to save him.

"I hate sitting through those Hotch talks." Reid mumbled.

"If it's any consolation to you I'd of done the same." Blake said earning a small smile.

When the team had finished their paperwork Hotch walked into the bullpen.

He gave a strict look at the genius. "My office now. The rest of you go home and get some rest."

"It sounds like he's being called up to the principal's office." Will joked.

"You could call it that." Reid replied.

The team gave him a pitied look before beginning to head out.

"I bet it won't even be that bad." Emily said before leaving.

"And there it is again," Rossi pointed out. "I think this further proves my previous statement."

"That's not fair." Garcia said and placed a hand on Blake's shoulder. "Blake here is a part of our family and is irreplaceable in our band."

"Thanks Garcia," she said in flattery. "You have one big heart of gold."

"Of course she does," Morgan agreed as he placed his arm around her. "That's my baby girl for you."

He nodded and reluctantly walked inside Hotch's office. "Yeah?"

"What you did was very reckless and dangerous." Hotch said.

"I know, but Tommy could have been killed if I had not done what I did."

"Man, you would think Hotch could just cut him some slack and let him off with a warning." Morgan said.

"I wish it were that simple." JJ replied.

"Irregardless you disobeyed an order, so I'm afraid I have to punish you."

"Punish?" Rossi repeated. "Sounds a bit dramatic, even for Hotch."

"Someone's getting extra paperwork." Garcia joked.

"Like extra paperwork is even a problem for pretty boy here," Morgan said. "The guy has rockets for hands; when I finish one he's already done like five."

"Fine."

Hotch stood off his chair and beckoned the desk. "Lean down on the desk."

"Ooookay," Will awkwardly said. "Now you're boss has some seriously weird disciplinary methods."

"I'm confused now." Reid stated. "What's going on?"

"Are we sure this is still not literal?" Blake asked and the others were just plain too scared to answer. Each had their suspicions but none wanted to confirm it aloud.

Reluctantly he did so and placed his body uncomfortably on the desk. Hotch began unstrapping his belt—

"Okay time out!" Morgan cut in while making the hand gesture. "Is this serious? Are we really about to read a grown man spanking another grown man?"

"This is just so wrong." Reid muttered as he buried his face in embarrassment. "Why me?"

Will chuckled. "Thank goodness I'm under a different code of conduct where I work."

"Cut it out Will you aren't helping." JJ scolded.

"Dear Lord, I need a drink of scotch." Rossi groaned.

"So do I." Garcia agreed.

"Since when do you drink scotch?" JJ asked.

"Since Rossi taught me how medicating it could be." She answered while giving Rossi a grateful smile.

"I knew you'd learn kiddo." He said approvingly.

"Why would you need medicating anyway baby girl?" Morgan asked.

"Well... it's a long story. I mean I had bad timing with Kevin and you know what I don't even want to get into it; just know that Rossi is super awesome."

Morgan frowned but decided to let it slide. For now at least.

and gave the genius' bottom contact with it.

"Aaahh!" Reid shouted. "This is so wrong!"

"This is just torture to the ears." Will added as he shook his head. "I don't know whether to cover my ears or Spencer's."

"Good idea Willy!" Garcia said. "Hey Reid get over here I'll cover your ears."

Reid smiled in complete gratitude. "Garcia I'll never forget this act of generosity." He walked over to her and she placed her hands over his ear; he in return placed his over hers to further block out any noise.

Rossi, Will, and Morgan grinned before following in suit and covering their ears.

"I'm going to continue now." Blake said.

"What?!" Will shouted before turning to Morgan with a satisfied smile. "You owe me for this idea of mine Derek."

"What?!"

"Oh right, you can't hear me."

Blake and JJ released a sigh.

Reid whimpered. "I'm sorry Hotch."

"You could have (thwack) gotten (thwack) hurt!"

"I know I'm sorry it won't happen again."

"Is it done?" Rossi asked.

"No." JJ answered.

"What?!"

JJ almost facepalmed for forgetting but instead she shook her head for a gesture of 'no'.

"I have to say though, this story is just way off the top." Blake exclaimed.

"It better (thwack) not happen again!" Hotch ceased his actions. "I hope you've learned your lesson."

Reid weakly got off the desk and sighed in relief. "I'm better now; thanks I needed that."

"What?" Garcia exclaimed incredulously.

"Done yet?" This time Will asked.

JJ repeated her actions.

"Good." Hotch said. "I don't like doing this but sometimes it's necessary. Don't feel ashamed Reid, I've done this to the others as well."

"Oh God," JJ groaned. "Now THAT is just wrong."

Blake whistled in relief. "Makes me glad to know I wasn't included."

"Ladies I think we should just keep that one line to ourselves." Garcia suggested as she regarded the males desperately covering their ears. "I don't think they're strong enough."

The other two women nodded in agreement.

"I had no idea." Reid replied. "Well it works."

"Yes it does. Go home and get some rest."

"Right, and thanks again."

A/N: Yeah that's the end thanks for reading. I can totally see this happening XD!

"Did this author just say that?" Garcia exclaimed with a raised brow.

JJ walked over to Will and removed his hands from his ears. "It's over now."

"Thank God." He replied before signaling the other three with a thumbs up.

"Phew," Morgan breathed a sigh of relief. "I thought that crap was never gonna end."

"Is it really over?" Reid asked hesitantly.

"Yeah it's done." Blake answered. She stood from the chair gratefully. "And so am I."

"We really need to find a way to sort this part out." Rossi said.

Morgan smirked and turned to Garcia. "Hey sweetness, lend me your phone. Mines is kinda dying."

"Anything for you handsome." She replied as she handed him the phone.

Morgan turned his back to her and scanned the numbers for one in particular. When he found it he jotted the number down on his phone.

"What are you doing?" Reid asked.

"Nothing," he lied before handing the tech her phone back and putting his on his ear; waiting patiently for the answer.

"I thought yours died?" She said with a frown.

"Oh yeah I lied."

"Derek Morgan you better tell me who you called right now!" She demanded.

Right at that moment the mystery person finally picked up.

"Hello?" His tone indicated he had no idea who the caller was.

"Hey Kevin, it's me Derek." Morgan said as he used one hand to hold Garcia in place. "I just thought it'd be cool for us to have a guy's day out, you in?"

"You want to have a guy's day out with me?" Kevin asked skeptically.

"Of course buddy, meet me at Reid's place I got it all planned out." And before he could decline Morgan ended the call.

"Aww come on I said no more visitors!" Reid complained.

"Yeah what was that for Derek?" Garcia added as she shot daggers at him.

Morgan smirked, unfazed by their tone. "That was to dodge the reading bullet." Although the real reason was for revenge on him for making her day bad, but he couldn't tell her that.

"Why am I not surprised?" Rossi stated dryly.


Author's Notes

Sneaky Derek is at it again; now he's gotten a poor unsuspecting Kevin into the mix.