Epilogue: Connection

As Tenten stayed, she realized something about her and her life. She was not used to doing nothing. But there was not much for her to do on the property. Neji was off doing only the gods knew what and she was stuck wandering through empty halls, pushing aside shojis to find impeccably clean rooms and everything stored out of sight.

The worst was she didn't even know what she was still doing here. She was supposed to say one final goodbye and then leave. Instead she'd let him show her around some more. The patches of forest that got enough sun to grow, a little waterfall that escaped through the mountain wall and made a lake not unlike those she knew from home. From there little creaks became fishing rivers until they vanished into caves within the mountain again.

Of course Neji showed her all his defenses and talked an hour about digging the perfect ditch. The memory made her smile. It also reminded her that the whole valley was surrounded by a wall of water. They had to come up with a whole new word for 'isolated' to describe this place. Still there was a certainty nagging at the back of Tenten's head.

The nightmares started on her fifth night there. They came over her swift, picked her up and carried her across her psyche with firm hands. Letting her experience the same two death scenes over and over again. Her just watching as Neji died on the battlefield the first time. How she'd breathed another's name. How she'd looked for solace after, tried to forget Neji. And the second time when his voice just cut off as she refused to look at him, finding herself suddenly in a new time. Having left him behind to die. Then she'd just laid in a hospital and tried not to think about him too much again. In her dreams she was yelling at herself to be more emotional. Cry. Wail. Shout out in anger. Anything. But she never did anything. Nothing at all.

"Nothing," escaped her lips as she sat up straight, grasping the bedding around her, checking where she was in the dark. As her eyes adjusted she realized it was a lot less dark than she'd thought. It was difficult to tell in the valley but Tenten suspected dawn was about to break. Feeling like breaking herself, Tenten rolled up in a ball, holding herself, and shivered. She had been here almost two weeks, so this had been the seventh time she'd been haunted by her own inaction. She was exhausted, in more ways than just one.

"Bad night's sleep?"

Tenten immediately straightened up when she heard the voice. She didn't like for anyone to see her emotionally weakened. Of course the voice was Neji's. There was no one else in their little valley world.

Instead of answering his current question, she answered a completely different one, from last week.

"I don't want to date you."

"But you already have been."

He went on to recount all their activities over the last days. Immersed in the valley's nature, striding through tall grass, spelunking, wading through rivers. It made her realize that Neji considered any time spent with her as a date. She couldn't quite figure out whether she found it sweet or sad. There was a bittersweet quality to someone just taking whatever they could get. It made her want to give him something really special. It was a conflicting feeling because she still clung to her resolution to say goodbye. But she wasn't really saying it. She just didn't know how to.

"Want to take a walk?"
His offer was sincere. She could tell from how his steady eyes were serious, not mocking her. But taking walks with Neji was dangerous. They'd been spending a lot of time together - here, in a physical and emotional limbo. It wasn't good for her. Still, she found herself agreeing, getting up, and leaving with him.

ttt

By now, Tenten knew the valley quite well herself and, strictly speaking, wouldn't have needed a guide anymore. But she didn't object to Neji taking her. The poignant feeling from earlier still clung to her. In fact, it got worse with every step she took. The urge to connect became so powerful, her hands trembled.

Then her eyes fell on the lake they were approaching. A golden glint predicted a sunny morning. It reminded her of another lake, many years ago, but that one had been silvery, bathing in the moon's light. This one was brighter.

"Wanna go for a swim?"

Neji's eyebrows rose at her question, which told her a certain connotation wasn't entirely lost on him. His eyes followed her movements carefully. She had untied her belt.

"Yes, please", he murmured in anticipation of what was to come.

She was completely naked now.
"You talk so much now."

"I like the sound of my own voice."

The way he was looking he liked the sight of something else a lot more. She came over to him and lifted her hand. Since she'd verified his realness on her first day, they hadn't touched. Not even by accident. Tenten had made sure of it because touching was definitely no way to say goodbye.

But he mirrored her gesture and their fingertips touched. That old spark was still there. It permeated time for them.

Tenten then walked past him, but turned around to curl her finger, beckoning.

"You know, this is very similar to a fantasy I keep having," Neji confided.

She had already sunk deep into the water, shivering. Neji took a moment to drink in the picture. Then he stripped and waded in too.

He swam up to her in the golden light and pulled her close in the clear water. Her slippery body against his was surprisingly warm, magnetic. He couldn't interrupt the contact between them even if he'd wanted to. Their hands seemed attached to the other, only moving to caress another bit of skin, never breaking contact. Her hands were not the only thing she seemed unable to keep off him. One of her legs kept sliding up his side until he caught it and secured it against him. Trapped that way, she jumped and wrapped both legs around him. The embrace felt warm, felt like home.

"I lo-," he began but Tenten cut him off like she'd done before.

"Still not ready to hear it."

"Ok."

A little insecure, she asked him:

"Aren't you getting impatient?"

"I did the whole urgent thing. I thought I was running out of time, never getting to talk to you the way I wanted again. But dying really takes the pressure off. I got all the time in the world now."

Their foreheads rested against each other for a long time while they enjoyed the sound of the other's breath. Then he lifted his mouth and felt rewarded when she closed the space between them and kissed him. This might just become his favorite new fantasy.

The thought of a fantasy reminded him that there were a few things he still needed to tell her. So he did, in between wet, tender, hungry kisses. He finally told her how fierce he thought she was. How brave. How scary, especially since he suspected she might actually have a chance of beating him now.

That made her laugh.

He also whispered in her ear how beautiful and smart and kind she was. That he didn't expect anything from her beyond this moment. That he couldn't know but suspected how tough it must've been to say goodbye to him twice. How he wanted to do nothing else but try to be with her in any way she'd have him. Whether that meant only this moment, being her friend, or even just a pen pal, it was all up to her.

Instead of kissing him after each sentence, she paused this time and asked:

"Why are you like this?"

He adjusted her in his arms, wrapping her legs around him even tighter before he answered.

"I've been hopeless from the moment I entered puberty."

Then, like he'd dreamed so often, he floated them back to the shore of the lake and lowered her onto the sandy bank.

"May I?" he asked as he took her arms. Tenten just nodded, waiting to see what he'd do.

He took her arms and stretched them over her head. Gathering her wrists into one of his big hands, he had the other hand free to roam across her body. Caressing her wet body was even better than he'd imagined. Finally, his hands trailed down to where the lower half of her was still submerged in water. He considered making a pun about being wet but he was happy in a way that jokes could not compare to. As they made love on the edge of the lake, he felt balanced. Thoughts of control were suddenly not that important anymore because he knew that nothing was certain and that was ok.

Afterwards they swam together in the lake, washing themselves clean of dirty deeds. Sharing dirty smiles every now and again.

"How did sex with a ghost feel?" Neji finally asked.

"It was kind of boring," she teased. The look in her eyes proved she understand how special sex had been.

ttt

Later that day, they were wrapped in each other's arms, looking at the lake. Tenten suddenly remarked:

"Dying is a two-way street. It doesn't just happen to you but everyone around you."

She grabbed onto his arm as though it were of utmost importance he understood. Neji couldn't see her face because she was lying against his chest with her back, but he understood.

"Sorry I was so cocky in the beginning. It's just been a long time since I've interacted with a Tenten who could remember what was between us."

Tenten didn't respond, which let him know that he still hadn't said the correct words.

"I'm sorry I left you twice. It wasn't your fault. There's nothing you could've done."

He repeated the last sentence twice, placing featherlight kisses into her hair.

"Do you regret anything?" Tenten finally asked, her voice a little unsteady.

"Like what?"

She shrugged.

"Getting drunk, being friends with me even though we'd been more before, ever meeting me?"

He readjusted his arms around her. Some things he couldn't even justify with a response. His throat was too tight, so he just shook his head in a way she could feel against the nape of her neck.

Then, because he could, he added in a more jovial tone:

"I don't regret getting drunk. I just regret I couldn't watch you sleep more. I wish I could've seen you drool."

That made her laugh. When her laughter subsided, he heard her ask softly:

"Can you maybe just… just hold me tighter."

Of course he could. He wrapped his arms around her snugly and after a few minutes he'd noticed she'd fallen asleep. And she seemed peaceful. He leaned back fully against the tree trunk and shut his eyes. So they slept together that midmorning, feeling lighter about the world, time, and death.

Three Years Later

And there he was. Just walking in front of her.

He was standing, alive and well, on the dirt road. Behind him Konoha loomed above them, on a hill emerging from the luscious forest it was named after.

Tenten couldn't believe that she'd been standing there only… a few weeks, … or years ago? Maybe her memory would never be quite in the right order again. After all, it was chaos trying to figure out when she'd begun to love Neji. At least now she never needed to worry about telling him something that could mess up the contingency of time. She could tell him anything.

"What are you looking at?" he asked.

"You."

"Is this really what I left my secret valley for?"

She laughed at his aggrieved tone. She pulled her cloak tighter; Neji, of course, was not wearing one. He could never get used to them but they made Tenten feel better. Somehow a cloak both indicated you were in charge but could also let you disappear at a moment's notice. That's exactly what she'd needed as she'd kept up a secret affair with a dead man in a secret valley.

They continued their trek up towards the city. Their city. Their real home.

"Are you ready to come back from the dead?"

"I'm not sure. I've been dead for over three years now. I was kind of getting used to it."

"No, you weren't. You missed Hinata."

"That is one of the people I missed."

Tenten could imagine what he was going through. It had been a huge decision for Neji to give up the valley. It was his baby - he'd built it, cultivated it, protected it. But it was too dangerous for Tenten to be travelling back and forth there.

"I still think it would have been impossible for anyone to infiltrate. Even if they'd found its location," he stipulated.

"Honey, time travel's possible. That means anything's possible."

He sneered at her.

But Tenten could tell he was happy. Excited even. He couldn't wait to be an uncle. He didn't even mind being a nephew since he'd heard his own uncle had gotten a lot softer in temperament. Their decision to leave the valley had been aided by another unexpected survival. Sasuke on one of his travels had finally found Jiraiya's body, preserved, and brought it back home. The gods knew how he'd found it, but it enabled another resurrection, in secret, like Neji's. And Jiraiya, who had been dead much longer than Neji, would make a great new guardian of the hidden weapons. In fact, Tenten knew that Tsunade was planning to go live with him. And Neji and Tenten got to return home. To their family and friends.

"They're probably going to throw you a banquet. Long lost hero and such."

Neji gave her a look signifying how little he cared about such formal matters. Tenten loved how expressive he was with her. She understood realistically that once they were under people again, he might return to some of his more stoic habits, but she loved that he was real with her now. Honest. That he didn't hide anything from her.

"You're staring again," he told her.

"I can't help it. Do you know that this is about the exact spot where I did the first time jump? Suddenly, the only thing I was aware of was you. You were standing in front of me when I arrived in the past. I remember Naruto getting me ready in the present and preparing the jutsu. Sakura was there too, I remember. But when the jutsu finally worked, I just blinked - got my memory whacked into total chaos - and only saw you."

"Yeah, well Naruto and Sakura could remember the details from the mission you were about to depart on. So they knew exactly where you were supposed to pop up."

"Kind of circular. But isn't it strange how everything worked out? I mean, think of all the contingencies! What if my telling you of your death changed the way things were supposed to go."

"If you hadn't told me I died, I would not have known you weren't aware that I'd been resurrected a year before you left for the mission."

"It's just crazy how chaotic everything really is. I don't think anyone knows what's really going on."

"I love you."

Tenten was surprised by the sudden outburst. He hadn't tried to say it in at least a year. Tenten was even more surprised that she let him say it this time. It was as though an open wound of hers had finally started to scab. It didn't feel so raw anymore to hear the words. It didn't feel like a "what if" anymore; it felt like a "right now".

"Thanks for waiting," she told him.

"No, thank you for waiting."

"It's not really waiting if you don't know it's going to happen."

She thought back to all those years she had been friends with Neji, feeling the spark but never doing anything about it, thinking he didn't feel that way about her. She'd had no idea.

"Well, then thank you for finally letting me say it. I'm glad that's another 'never' I don't need to make peace with."

"Speaking of 'nevers', is there anything else on your list of things you want to do?"

"Actually," Neji began. "There is something we still need to do."

"Oh? What's that?"

Before Tenten could ask anything further, a throwing star sped through the air where Tenten's cheek would have been if her reflexes had been any slower. Even while crouching to be shielded from his attacks, Tenten had to laugh.

"Before I go back home, I just need to know whether you could beat me," Neji stated. Now that he'd thrown a few projectiles at her, he gained ground on her quickly. Tenten knew Neji was best at close combat, so for quite a while she kept him at a distance. To keep up this spiel, Tenten took the first low-hanging branch she could find to give her access to the trees. It was much easier to keep Neji at a distance between the leaves that gave Konoha-Gakure its name.

"You can't catch me!" Tenten laughed.

"How do you move so fast with a goddamn cloak on?"

Though they were both still smiling, their competitive streaks got the better of them and Neji spent quite a lot of time in pursuit of her. Finally he managed to land on the same branch as her and got the chance to take a hit at her. But Tenten exhibited great balance and dodged his attack without falling. In fact, she launched a counter attack. Neji could tell for an instance Tenten contemplated pulling her kunai from its sheath but she knew what kind of match Neji had in mind. He wanted to know whether she could beat him at his own game. Her training with Hinata had made a lot of movements automatic, so she had no trouble holding her own. But she had to admit that Neji was extremely fast and skilled at finding her chakra-points. Soon he'd gotten the best of her and she'd lost the ability to use her left arm.

Realizing that she would lose if she didn't do anything quickly, Tenten pulled her small round shield from her pack and blocked Neji's next attack. Finding adequate footing, she rammed Neji with the shield. Before he could recover, she rammed him again, so that he needed to hold onto the tree trunk in order not to fall to the ground. Tenten let the shield slide off her arm and pulled the kunai. Neji had his guard up to parry any attack of hers but he'd been smashed into the tree trunk pretty heavily. He definitely wasn't expecting Tenten to nail one of his sleeves to the tree. With his arm nailed above his head, Tenten knew one of his chakra points was exposed. She made an educated guess as to its exact location and hit it. He stared at her. She stared back. They both only had one arm left to fight.

"Call it even?" he asked.

"Sure. Though I must confess, without my weaponry, you would've won."

"Your weaponry is part of you. You should use it. We're not the same, but we're still equals."

"Come on, let's get you back under the living before I accidentally kill you," Tenten hastened him before she jumped down to the ground and retrieved her shield. They both returned to the road, realizing that their fight had brought them back to the place where Tenten's first time jump had occurred. Tenten took his hand in the middle of the road that had changed their lives.

The End