Alright I'm back for one more of these! They're just too fun. The category I'll be touching this time is one I'm pretty sure you're familiar with. Also it was requested a couple of times as well.

Fanfiction Trauma


And thanks Motaku1235 for being my 300th reviewer! I can't believe I'm getting so many reviews.


Chapter 15: Kidnapped! A Reid-Whump Fic

The tables had turned and now Morgan was holding the key to Pandora's Box. This fact only served to terrify the others.

"So, what is your plan?" Reid asked hesitantly.

This caused Morgan's eyes to glint with mischief. "Hmm... well there's a bunch of scenarios playing in my head."

"Have mercy my handsome man." Garcia pleaded.

Morgan turned to her and grinned. "Oh no way angel face, I am so gonna enjoy this."

"That's what we were afraid of." Rossi replied.

"Here's how it'll work," Morgan began as he walked over to where Henry and Jack were.

"What are you doing?" Hotch asked.

"Yeah what gives?" Will added.

"Oh nothing, I'm just getting a little bit of help with picking out a reader." He said before turning to the boys. "Say guys, what do you say to helping out your best friend Derek?"

The two boys glanced at each other before facing him and nodding exuberantly.

"Good, good." Morgan said. "So tell me guys, who would you like to have read a story to us grown-ups?"

"Mommy!" Henry cried out happily.

"I want dad to read!" Jack said as excitedly.

Another day JJ and Hotch would've jumped at the chance to read a story if their kid asked, but this was definitely not one of those days.

"That's my boy!" Will cheered happily once he knew he wasn't selected to read. "I knew from day one you'd make me proud."

JJ elbowed him. "Thanks for being supportive."

Hotch merely placed a hand on the bridge of his nose. He was definitely going add extra paperwork for Morgan once this ordeal was finished.

Morgan turned to JJ and Hotch. "Looks like we have a predicament here; to settle this and pick out a reader... I propose a fight to the death."

At their pointed glances he chuckled. "I'm only messing with you guys. Just 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' it out already."

Hotch paused to think. "How does that one go again?"

"Hotch!" They all grumbled.

After Seaver filled him in on the rules, and after hearing a long rant from Reid over how a rock can break both the paper and scissors with proper time, Hotch and JJ positioned themselves for the challenge.

The unit chief and ex media liaison shared a stare down before Morgan began the dramatic and unnecessary introduction.

He gestured JJ first. "Fighting in this corner we have our blond stunner, Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau!" Then he beckoned Hotch. "And in this corner we have our boss, Aaron 'Gives no Breaks' Hotchner!"

All but Hotch -whom shot him a glare- laughed at his presentations. "Ready... one, two, three!"

The hand gestures we're made before Hotch and JJ unleashed their weapon of choice.

JJ frowned as she eyed the Scissor's kryptonite: rock. "Darn."

"And we have a winner!" Kevin said as he held Hotch's arm up.

To say that Hotch was grateful not to be reading was an understatement.

"Oooh tough luck sugar." Garcia murmured as she patted her friend's back in a comforting manner.

The trek to the chair for JJ, felt like miles. Just thinking about what pile of junk she'd find was enough to make her nauseous. Right as she reached it a hand was placed on her shoulder; pausing to turn around she was met with her husband's pair of blue eyes. "Will?"

Will smiled. "I'll read."

The room shot him surprised looks.

"That's total suicide." Reid said.

"Do you have a death wish?" Seaver added.

"Are you sure?" JJ asked.

Will grinned. "Yeah, I got this one."

"Being a knight in shining armor for the lady huh," Kevin said with a nod of approval. "I can totally dig that."

"Awww..." Garcia murmured. "How sweet."

"You're very brave son." Rossi said as the detective sat down.

JJ placed a grateful kiss to his cheek. "You are the man of my dreams, despite what fanfiction stories say."

"I'm starting to have doubts on finding a good story." Blake said.

"I'm having doubts on there even being a good story." Rossi replied.

"That's not true." Kevin said. "I've read several good stories."

"What category do you read Kevin?" Blake asked curiously. "If you don't mind me asking that is."

"No not at all Alex. I have a lot of stuff I read. I read a lot of Star Trek so I'm a bit of a Trekkie; but I also read a lot of Doctor Who and Star Wars."

"And you're positive you've found good stories?" She couldn't help but ask.

"I'm positive Alex."

"Got one." Will announced and the adults huddled together to hear the story.

Strength

"Interesting..." Rossi murmured. "Or that is what I would've said if I had just gotten here."

By MrsLaMontagne

JJ twitched but said nothing.

Summary: First off I wanna say I love Will and he's my favorite character from Criminal Minds.

The detective smiled in flattery. "Well, nice to finally get some appreciation for a change."

God he's so sexy and hot! JJ doesn't deserve him and doesn't love him as much as I do.

"What?" JJ barked.

"This is like the only story that flatters me but... why did it have to be some love-struck girl?" Will murmured.

"So is this summary going to tell us anything relevant to the story?" Blake asked. "Or is just going to continue paying homage to Will?"

Anyways, onto the story. There's an unsub terrorizing people in Idaho. He's kidnapping and killing his victims. It's up to the BAU to stop him!

"Well at least I won't be the one doing the kidnapping, since I'm a favorite of the author." Will pointed out.

Oh yeah it will also contain whump.

"What does whump mean?" Garcia asked.

"It's not something I'm familiar with." Seaver replied.

"It means a dull thudding sound." Reid answered.

"So this story is going to contain... dull thudding sounds?" Rossi questioned confusedly.

"Actually, 'whump' has a completely different meaning in Fanfiction dot net." Kevin said.

"Kevin to the rescue," Garcia replied. "So, tell us what it means."

"It's a term used to describe physical and/or mental abuse laid on a character in a story, which is usually followed by some dramatic comeback from said character." Kevin explained. "This was a genre that was commonly seen amongst the Stargate section with Daniel Jackson being the most used character."

"So I wonder who our mystery character is." Blake said.

"Oh I'm dying to know..." Rossi muttered in an uninterested manner.

The team was inside the conference room where Garcia had been briefing them.

"It looks like we're headed to Idaho." Rossi said.

"Okay, wheels up in thirty."

Reid

"Aaahh!"

"Good thing we anticipated that one." Rossi joked as he noticed everyone had dodged the yell.

"It's too bad this author spelled Reid's name right." Garcia said.

"Sorry guys." Reid murmured. "I guess I still can't control it."

Seaver patted his shoulder. "Don't sweat it Reid. It isn't your fault this happened, blame the corny fanfiction stories instead."

He smiled at her. "Thanks Ashley. I needed that."

sat on the plane in the back. He'd been feeling so left out. He felt so hopeless and weak. He was such a loser.

"Surely you don't think like that, right?" Will asked.

"Of course not," Reid reassured him. "Sure I may sometimes get doubtful but this story is just portraying it in an exaggerated manner."

He didn't know why he was here. But then it was a miracle he'd even gotten the job.

When they arrived he and Rossi headed to the last crime scene while the rest went to the ME and the police station respectively.

"He doesn't seem to have any preferences." Rossi said. "He kills both men and women."

"I guess." The younger agent muttered in a pathetic tone.

Reid couldn't help the slight annoyance at his portrayal in the story. "Has there even been any indication as to why I'm being overly emotional?"

"Do these guys ever put any effort into their stories?" Garcia wondered aloud.

But Rossi was too preoccupied with the crime scene that he didn't notice. A fact that relieved his colleague.

The two profilers had no clue the unsub had been sneaking up behind them.

"It's a trap!" Reid joked making the other members of the nerd trio and Will laugh.

"All these 'unsub sneaking on us unexpectedly' stories make us look like complete idiots." Morgan groaned. "We aren't profilers because of our flashy badges, no, it's because we adapt to our environment and we're not easily duped."

"Amen." Garcia said with a few claps.

He bashed Rossi on the head and knocked him out.

"I think this is the second story where I've been knocked out," Rossi pointed out with a shake of his head. "Lord, help these children so they may one day learn how to write a story."

"Don't forget Reid is there," Blake said. "I'm sure he'll get this unsub."

He then knocked the poor genius out too.

"Well," Blake said. "I guess I stand corrected."

"How a single unsub took two FBI agents out is beyond me." Hotch exclaimed in disbelief.

"Makes you wonder what other impossibilities these authors have made possible in their junk stories." Seaver said.

The man then dragged Reid—

"Aaahh!"

to the van he'd parked out a few yards back. This was going all according to plan.

"I'd never allow someone to kidnap Reid." Rossi stated.

Hours later and the profiler awakened to an unfamiliar place. The darkness was scaring him. He didn't think he could handle this.

"So I'm guessing the one getting... er, whumped, is Reid, right?" Garcia asked.

"Why am I in all these stories? Am I a favorite in this Criminal Minds show or something?"

"You probably are Spencer." Kevin replied.

"Yeah right," Morgan interjected. "I'm probably the favorite."

"So you're awake?" A scary voice said.

The voice sent shivers down his spine. This was so bad and his hands were trembling.

Elsewhere...

"What do you mean he took Reid?"

"Aaahh!"

Hotch asked angrily.

"I mean he was taken!" Rossi retorted, he didn't want to waste time repeating himself.

"We have to track him down!" JJ said frantically.

"I can't believe we didn't notice he wasn't acting like himself." Blake added.

Blake's eyes widened slightly at that. "I'm actually in a story."

"Finally." Garcia said. "It's about time people notice you're a part of our family. I just hope you aren't made to be OOC."

"We've been neglecting him." Derek muttered angrily.

"Hang on..." Rossi murmured as it hit him. "I think we could get Penelope to track his cell."

"I'm way ahead of you." Hotch said as he had already dialed her.

"I'd really like an explanation as to why Reid is being all emo." Morgan said.

"Yeah kind of a plot hole if you ask me." Kevin replied.

"I can't believe this author wrote us as not taking notice to Spence's behavior." JJ said with a frown.

"I know right," Garcia agreed. "I'm always keeping my loves under watch," she paused to ruffle Reid's hair. "Especially my baby here."

"Garcia..." He grumbled sheepishly as he fixed the bangs that had obscured his vision.

Back at the unknown location the unsub had just finished beating on the poor agent.

Reid narrowed his eyes at how this was beginning to bring back unpleasant memories. A reassuring hand on his shoulder from his unit chief served to alleviate all those thoughts.

"Why are you doing this?" He managed to utter weakly.

"Because it's fun." The sadistic man replied as he pulled out his knife.

"Who are you?"

The man chuckled. "I guess since I'm gonna waste you there's no harm in telling you." He pulled his ski mask off and caused the agent to gasp in surprise.

"Kevin?"

"Are you kidding me?!"

"And this story has officially gone down stupid lane." Garcia said.

"I've had enough of these authors thinking I'm a sick unsub." Kevin snapped. "Not once has it ever crossed my mind to kidnap, torture, or do any other crap they have me doing in these stories to another person. I love my job and have no intention of going to prison where I'll be some prisoner's barbie."

Will chuckled. "You tell'em man."

"Yes it's me."

"But why?"

"Cause I can't stand any of you, because of you guys Penelope won't spend time with me."

"Jesus Christ," Kevin muttered. He'd never thought he'd hear a stupider thing. "Does this fangirl know that I'm a grown man and not some kid in a sandbox?"

"I'm beginning to think the kid in the sandbox is the one who wrote this story." Seaver joked.

"More like the kid in the sandbox is the one who made this entire website." Rossi added with a laugh.

"Yeah, after he'd snatched some beer off his father's hiding spot." Morgan joined in.

"And hit his head in the process." Garcia concluded.

The occupants all shared a laugh at the silly theory.

The door burst open and all the other agents burst inside.

"Drop it or I'll blow your brains out!" Rossi shouted.

"Why does this sound so familiar?" JJ murmured.

"Do what he says!" Blake yelled.

"Never!" Kevin retorted. He grabbed his knife—

"Please no..." Kevin grumbled as he realized where this was headed to.

and charged in.

The agents all opened fired on him and emptied their clips on him.

Hotch raised a brow at the uncharacteristic use of violence but chose not to point it out.

"I knew I was gonna get shot."

Quickly JJ rushed over and untied Reid—

"Aaahh!"

before pulling him into a hug. "God I'm so sorry."

He smiled. "It's okay... I knew you'd all come and save me."

From then on the team swore to themselves that they'd never ignore him ever again. They'd look out for each other.

End. If you review Hotch will enter your house and sex you up ;)

"I shall do no such thing." Hotch said in pure disgust.

"Man this girl is bent." Garcia added.

"That's the understatement of the year." Kevin replied.

"And they never did explain why Reid was feeling like he was." Morgan exclaimed.

Will hopped off the chair. "And that's my turn. So it looks like I'm gonna be the one who decides who to pick out next."

Suddenly the doorbell rang.

Reid sighed. "Okay Morgan, who did you call now?"

"Hey, I swear it wasn't me this time." Morgan replied.

"Really?" JJ questioned incredulously.

"Yeah," he confirmed. "I didn't call anyone."

"Were you expecting anyone Reid?" Hotch asked.

"No, I wasn't." He answered leaving them pondering on just who it could be.


Author's Notes

Heheh so who's our mystery guest? I'll let you know in the next chapter. Although I hope I don't make you wait much. Oh, and by the way Reid, you have no idea how much of a fan favorite you are.