Here we are yet again my friends. I love the feedback I've been getting and all the reviews. This topic was something I've never heard of till recently. Credit goes to TheMysteriousGeek2345 for giving me the idea.
Fanfiction Trauma
Haha ChekhovTheTrope, your comment made my day. I agree with you and good luck with your story whenever you write it :)
Chapter 24: Spencer/Map (yes, the map)
Emily crossed her arms. "Only you Derek would love femslash."
"C'mon princess, it wasn't that bad." Morgan replied.
"Yeah, it was much worse." JJ added with a frown.
"It amazes me how we're just randomly paired up with whomever the author wants." Rossi stated. "Like some sick never-ending merry go round."
Reid winced. "I don't think I've ever felt this violated in my life."
"Guys I think we bit off more than we could chew." Seaver said. "I don't think there's a good story anywhere in this section."
"No kiddin', I mean we've read dozens by now and still nada." Will agreed.
"Well we're too neck deep in this sinkhole to just step out now." Blake exclaimed.
"I think that's exactly what we should do," Emily replied. "We should all just 'step out' of here. It's clear we're never finding the one."
"She's right," Hotch said. "I'm actually fearing for our sanity especially Reid."
"Well I don't care if it takes all night," Garcia stated determinedly. "I don't know about you guys but I plan on finding a good story written about us. I won't give up until I do."
"That's my baby girl!" Morgan cheered as he gave her a high five. "You know I'd never leave you alone to tackle this mess. I'm staying too."
"Count me in too then." JJ said.
Will grinned. "If JJ stays I stay."
"Guess my fate's sealed," Seaver added. "Cause there's no way I'd abandon you guys— heck, make it anyone, with Fanfiction dot net."
"Amen to that." Rossi chimed in.
"So that settles it." Hotch concluded. "We all deal with this together."
"That means I draw straws!" Henry cheered happily.
"Oh that's right," Seaver nodded. "I promised you'd handle this one." She picked up the straws and handed it to the boy. "Here ya go."
"Thanks Ashwey'."
The team waited patiently as the two children shuffled the straws and ordered them not to peek.
"Done." Henry announced.
The process began again and the adults started selecting a straw which they prayed wasn't the doomed one.
"Thank goodness, it isn't me." Rossi said.
Garcia smiled. "I'm safe too."
"Darn it!" Kevin complained as he held the straw nobody wanted to hold. "Guess I'm reading. I hope I don't click on one of my haters."
"Don't worry man, I got your back." Will assured him.
"Appreciate it brother."
"Who would've thought we'd spend our one day off like this?" Blake joked lightly.
"I sure didn't." Reid replied.
"Let's just be glad that we're in this together." JJ added. "I don't think even the craziest person in the world can live through this."
Emily chuckled. "Imagine if we'd use this as a means of making someone talk." This earned a laugh from the group.
"Got one." Kevin called.
Destination Location
"Destination Location?" Garcia repeated. "So, don't they mean the same thing?"
"Not technically," Reid corrected. "They have very slightly different meanings."
"But using them in the same sentence like that makes zero sense." Emily replied.
"It's not even creative." Rossi added.
By 69HotchsWifey69
Hotch twitched but chose not to verbalize his displeasure.
"So this person is Hotch's fangirl," Morgan pointed out. "Hopefully she isn't as creepy as the one Will had."
Will cringed. "Boy, don't go remindin' me."
Summary: Reid—
"Aaahh!"
can't suppress the feelings anymore.
"Oh God," JJ groaned. "Not another love story. Please not another one."
It's a guilty pleasure and he knows it but it's too overwhelming. The feelings won't leave him and he's had enough.
"Another guessing game," Seaver muttered in an uninterested manner.
"You'd think people would get tired of that and try something new." Kevin replied.
It was another finished case; a case in Seattle that had been another success.
"Everyone, let's return to the hotel." Aaron said. "It's late so we're going to call it a day. We'll head home tomorrow morning."
"Good thing because I'm exhausted." Derek replied. "Just thinking about this is making me sleepy."
"This story is making me sleepy." Will said.
"Hey Reid—
"Aaahh!"
you coming?" Dave asked.
"I'm coming."
"Heh," Morgan chuckled and he nudged Emily whom was beside him. "Hey Em, that's what she said."
Emily sighed. "Will you grow up?"
He paused to glance at the map hanging by the bulletin board. This was crazy and he knew it.
But it was so tempting.
"Huh?" Blake said confusedly. "What is?"
It had helped them out through the entirety of the case. That was his specialty after all; using the map to build geological profiles.
"Geological profiles?" Seaver repeated with an amused smirk.
Rossi chucked lightly. "I think they meant to put geographic profiles."
His hands shook as he saw all the details that the piece of paper had to offer.
"Ooookay," Will exclaimed. He was feeling a bit disturbed by this story.
Without another word he grabbed the paper—
Garcia laughed. "Okay, who else pictured Reid just grabbing the map and stealing it?"
Reid sighed as the room snickered. "I would never steal anything."
and placed it close to his chest, almost protectively. He relished as the material made contact with his hands. The paper felt smooth and he breathed in happily as the scent of old paper reached his nose.
"Okay, okay, okay, cut!" Morgan interrupted with a disturbed expression. "Why is Reid getting all weird with the map?"
The adults exchanged glances with one another hoping someone would speak up.
"Well," Blake broke the silence. "Maybe it's nothing; maybe there's an explanation."
"She's right," Seaver added. "We shouldn't tread into dangerous waters like Fanfiction dot net. I say we don't break our heads trying to figure out this site and its contents."
It was safe to say everyone was in agreement.
He hid it in his jacket and boarded the car where the team had been waiting.
"Took you long enough." JJ joked.
"What happened?" Aaron asked.
He coughed nervously. "Um nothing, I just forgot something."
They couldn't know about this. They would never understand how he feels.
"I don't understand how you feel!" Reid snapped in annoyance. "And you're supposed to be me? Why are you so OOC?"
"Wow," Will muttered. "This site sure has some very disturbing topics."
"Kevin, I really do not see how you can read any stories on this horrible site." Hotch added.
"I resent that guys," Kevin argued. "I'll have you know that the people I'm following are great writers and their stories are awesome."
"If you say so," Rossi replied unconvinced.
"Ready to go then?" Aaron said.
"I am so ready."
Morgan grinned. "That's what she said."
Emily just shook her head in annoyance.
He was extremely relieved when he was in the confines of his hotel room. It was pretty cheap but at least he didn't have to share. He made sure to lock his door before spreading the map out onto the bed.
This was what he'd been thinking about through the entire day, not the unsub nor the case had caught his mind like the map did.
"So let me get this straight," Morgan cut in with a frown. "While we were dealing with an unsub Reid was wanting to get it on with a map?"
"Yeah." Everyone answered.
"Okay."
The genius slowly and hesitantly climbed onto the bed and positioned himself next to map. She was beautiful.
"It's an inanimate object," Reid pointed out. "It has no gender and it most certainly isn't beautiful, helpful, yes, but beautiful? No."
He lowered his lips to brush against the dull, frayed edges and timidly caressed the material.
"Alright this is seriously gross." Will stated.
"Tell me about it... not to mention kinda strange." Kevin added. "You should probably see a doctor about those types of weird impulses."
"Dear Lord," Blake gasped. "The things these people write."
Hotch sighed in frustration. "This has gotten so out of hand."
"Well at least I'm not getting bashed." Kevin exclaimed happily.
Will grinned and high fived him. "I hear that man!"
His heart raced as he inhaled the scent of old paper. For what reasons had he denied himself this?
"I'm sure I can think of a few." Blake sarcastically said.
"Man, I hope you wear a condom Reid." Morgan joked. "Or at least I hope you bought the nice piece of paper dinner first."
Reid sighed as some in the room snickered.
Rossi chuckled. "And do I hear wedding bells?"
"Can you imagine how horrible the ceremony would be?" Emily said.
"I think can," Will joined in. "It'll go something like this, 'I now pronounce you man and map'."
The next morning Spencer—
"Aaahh!"
awoke feeling extremely relaxed and rejuvenated. He felt like a million dollars. Next to him lay the reason to his happiness. She was looking beautiful but exhausted.
"Why are you giving an object human characteristics?" Reid groaned. "It's not a person. It can't be exhausted!"
"And thus, this story has proven yet again the typical age of this entire fandom's users." Seaver stated.
Their night together had been amazing. He could and would never forget the feeling of taking her; of filling her completely.
"Way too many information dude," Kevin grimaced. "I totally didn't need to hear that."
Garcia paled in disgust. "How does something like that even work?"
"And we thought unsubs had psychotic minds, these fanfiction authors are even more psychotic." Rossi joked.
A knock on the door caught his attention. He turned to the door. "Yeah?"
"Yo we're leaving kid!" Derek spoke from outside the door. "Move it!"
"Just a second, I'm about to come!"
"Hah, that's what—"
"Derek you say 'that's what she said' one more time and I'm gonna pop you."
An - The next chapter is coming soon so get ready. Next chapter we're gonna have some jealousy by Derek.
"For God's sake!" The profiler groaned. "Hey Kev get us the hell out of this story before I puke."
"Can do!" The tech replied as he clicked out of the poorly written story. "We're officially in the clear now."
"Thank the Lord." Blake replied.
Reid cringed. "Wow that was just a creepy story."
"That's putting it mildly." Hotch added. "Well, let's carry on."
Author's Notes
I had no clue these types of stories existed. And here I thought Mpreg was weird lmao. Anyway, terribly sorry for the late update I've just been having a lot on my plate.
A special thanks to those who've added me to their author alerts' and whom have read my other stories. Rock on!
