Sup guys, I'm back for another one. I finally managed to get this done. Here's a Twilight crossover as requested by PrettyInPink, enjoy.
Fanfiction Trauma
Wow, mollyk5 you truly flatter me. Thanks for writing such a lovely review. I'm thrilled that I can brighten your day even a bit. And thanks for being a fan since chapter one :)
Chapter 26: Criminal Twilight
Morgan sighed as Hotch hopped off the seat. "I guess it's back to square one."
"Back?" Emily scoffed. "You're acting as if we've made any sort of progress, we haven't. Therefore we've never gotten pass square one."
"She's right you know." Will added. "We've been rooted to square one."
"I guess that throws my whole 'it gets better as we progress' theory." Seaver said.
"That's too bad," JJ stated. "Since that was the only thing giving us hope."
"I for one would like to believe that, although we've remained in square one since this ordeal started, we've at least stepped closer to square two." Blake added.
"I'll take it." Garcia replied.
"Well, let's get it over with." Rossi groaned knowing full well he should've fled while he had the chance.
The straws were given to Henry and shuffled before being handed out.
"Praise the Lord for I have dodged the bullet." Will cheered.
Kevin gave him a high five. "Likewise brother!"
JJ stared at the straw in her hand with absolute contempt. "Joy, I get to read."
"Ouch, good luck." Morgan replied.
Will stood proudly. "I'll read for you!"
JJ smiled before shaking her head. "I can't keep doing that to you Will. Don't worry, I can handle this one."
"Right," he nodded. "I'll be here by your side through it all then."
"It's a bit scary," Emily began with a slight shiver. "Not knowing what sort of catastrophe you're gonna find."
"Totally," Kevin agreed. "I'm glad the stuff I read isn't this creepy or weird."
"The only literature that should be published or written is those made by official authors." Rossi exclaimed. "Such as I."
"And Dr. Seuss." Reid added.
"Yes Reid, and Dr. Seuss."
"Hey I got one." JJ called out.
The group huddled by the computer chair and took their seats.
Hunters and Hunted
By MegaKevinFan
"Sweet," Kevin grinned. "That's my golden VIP ticket to the non-bashed seats section."
Will chuckled. "Feels good when you know you won't be bashed doesn't it?"
"Most definitely."
Summary: This will be an epic crossover with one of my favorite books.
"A book crossover?" Blake repeated. "That doesn't sound too bad."
"It's fanfiction." Hotch simply stated.
"Oh..." She murmured before lowering her head in disappointment. "Right."
Rossi gently patted her shoulder.
The book is called Twilight.
"Noooo!" Morgan cried out dramatically. "My worst nightmare!"
"Out of all the books in the world they land on this one." Rossi added with a sigh.
"I'm interested." Reid said and earned a shocked look from the two. "It's because I have absolutely no clue what Twilight is. JJ mentioned it at one point but I never got the chance to look into it."
"It's a crappy book Reid. There, I just saved you an early death." Seaver replied. "And add to it the combination of being mixed with fanfiction and you've got yourself a recipe for disaster, guaranteed to make even the craziest serial killer shiver in fear."
"Well put." Emily said.
"It wasn't so bad." Garcia replied. "I enjoyed it."
It'll be my version of the story with the BAU guys. The stars will be Will,—
"Me?!"
Ashley,—
"Me?!" The junior agent repeated in shock.
and Spencer.
"Aaahh! I changed my mind I'm not interested."
Ashley walked to her school in Forks, a small town near the Washington Coast. She was the new girl who had just moved into town. She's shy and self conscious about her appearance. Ashley didn't really fit in or open up much.
"Way to OOC me." Seaver grumbled. "I may not have been the most popular at school but I sure as hell was never self conscious about looks. I wore what I liked and that was that."
"Alright," Morgan cheered and gave her a high five. "Now that's my type of lady."
At her school she is befriended by several students on her first day.
"Wait, if she's shy and doesn't open up, then how the heck does she already have so many friends?" Will questioned with a raised brow?
"And on her first day too." Reid added with the same confusion as Will.
"This is what I meant before, it's such a horrible book; no offense to Garcia that is." Seaver answered.
"What's it about?" Blake asked not being too familiar with the book.
"It revolves around a vampire and a wolf, that's about all I know from that crap."
The one who caught her attention though, was the mysterious quiet boy, Spencer—
"Aaahh!"
Cullen.
Reid frowned. "My name isn't Spencer Cullen, it's Spencer Reid."
"At least that means I'm Jacob and not Edward." Will pointed out. "Don't get me wrong both characters are horrible but Jacob is the lesser of two evils."
It was on one special day where her view on him changed. She was about to get in her car, when suddenly another car was speeding out of control. It was headed straight towards her.
Ashley had no time to escape and she closed her eyes in fear, but the crash never happened. She opened her eyes to find him blocking it with one hand.
"Isn't this the same plot as Twilight?" Garcia exclaimed.
"How would we know?" Rossi replied. "As far as I know you're the only one with familiarity to that so called book."
"And we say fanfiction shouldn't be published." Morgan joked.
Ashley wanted to thank Spencer—
"Aaahh!"
but before she knew it he was gone, almost as quick as he'd appeared.
She really wanted to know about him, so she decided to figure out through her old childhood friend Will Black.
"For Christ sakes!" Will complained. "Couldn't you have left my name as it is? It's bad enough I'm even in this mess."
JJ sighed. Initially her husband had been by her side to support her but now it looked as if she had to support him.
They use to always hang out as kids so their reunion was pleasant. Ashley managed to get information out of him by flirting with him and telling him all the stuff he wanted to hear.
Seaver twitched. "I thought my character was the shy and reserved girl, not the school skank."
Eventually she figured out he was a vampire. A fact that intrigued her. That was also the day when Will fell in love with her.
JJ's grip on the mouse tightened slightly.
"Just like that huh?" Will groaned. "I just randomly fall in love with her with no prior explanation."
He knew he had serious competition as most of the boys at her school had a crush on her, while it made some girls jealous. They hated the fact that all the boys were head over heels for her.
"Mary Sue Mary Sue! Kill it with fire!" Kevin shouted.
"Argh! Why am I being made into a Mary Sue?!"
"Yikes, that's as bad as it gets." Emily said before eying the young agent beside her sympathetically. "Don't worry Ashley, it might not get more worse than this."
Seaver sighed. "Somehow I doubt that."
Kevin placed a hand to his chin. "Hmm... now that I think about it, the character Bella does seem like a total Mary Sue."
The next day Ashley approached the vampire boy at school.
"How we're you able to get to me so fast?"
"Seriously? That's the first question that pops into her brain?" Emily asked incredulously. "I would've asked him how in the bloody heck he stopped a speeding vehicle."
"I would've just been blunt and asked him if he was really a vampire." Blake said.
"And if he came from Transylvania." Morgan joked.
"I was standing next to you Ashley."
"No, you were by your car."
"You just won't let this go will you?"
"I'm not going to tell anybody, I just wanted to know the truth."
Hotch found himself yawning. "Excuse me."
"No need to be." Kevin replied. "We all know this story sucks, especially since it's based on Twilight. All that book ever focused on is boring romances and glorifying Bella's character to no end."
"There's more to it than that Kevin," Garcia retorted. "Just read the books or better yet go watch the movies."
"And get a heart attack? No thanks I like my life."
Spencer—
"Aaahh!"
had incredible powers, such as super speed, strength, immortality, and could read anyone's mind. The only mind he couldn't read was hers.
"Hang on," Reid cut in. "If I— I mean, my character, can read everyone's mind then how come he can't read Ashley's character. Didn't it just state he can read anyone's mind?"
"What did I tell you about glorifying her character?" Kevin replied. "It's as if the maker of Twilight inserted herself into the lame character called Bella Swan."
"Bella Swan, really? That's her full name?" Morgan exclaimed. "It's as terrible sounding as Emeraldina Beautyla, the Sue we encountered."
Reid cringed. "You just had to bring that up didn't you?"
Being a vampire, he had to drink blood to sustain himself; although usually it came in the form of animal blood and never humans.
He warned Ashley about befriending him, but she just wouldn't listen.
Slowly he fell in love with her.
"So now I like her too?" Reid questioned in disbelief.
"I am now convinced she's a Mary Sue." JJ stated.
"I'm now convinced that some authors shouldn't even be authors." Rossi added.
Eventually he introduced her to his family and everything was good. They all instantly accepted her and welcomed her arrival.
"Why am I not surprised?" Emily groaned.
"It's still the same plot as Twilight." Garcia said.
"If that's what you want to call it." Kevin replied.
"Can it Kevin."
Unfortunately for Spencer—
"Aaahh!"
a trio of nomadic vampires took in interest in Ashley as well.
"Because all of us just love this character don't we?" Will snapped. "We all just took an interest in this reserved girl, who supposedly doesn't want to open up yet is chased by everyone. She sounds horribly boring yet is the belle of the ball; is the only one immune to the mind reading ability when no one else is. I see why some people would dislike this book. I can make a better story in my sleep."
"Sleep? I can poop a better story." Kevin replied.
"Shut it with the negative comments on Twilight already." Garcia retorted.
It happened when the Cullen family and Ashley had gone out to the forest. Spencer—
"Aaahh!"
had managed to get Ashley alone and confess his feelings, even managing to kiss her.
Reid and Seaver eyed each other with an embarrassed glance before slowly stepping as far away from the other as they could.
The trio of enemy vampires appeared suddenly and declared their desire to end Ashley's life.
"That makes four of us." Seaver muttered annoyed and embarrassed by her portrayal.
"Who are these people?" Ashley asked her own group of vampires. "What do they want?"
"We'll protect you with our lives." Spencer—
"Aaahh!"
declared as he grabbed her hand. "Just stay back and leave this to me."
An - And there you have the first chapter. The next one will be the battle scene and Will is going to appear too.
"Quick honey, get out of this!" Will urged his wife.
"Way ahead of you." JJ replied and clicked the back button. Immediately afterwards she jumped off the seat as if it were acid. "God, I couldn't read another chapter. The entire thing was just a huge mess."
"That's putting it mildly." Blake replied.
"I can't even look in the mirror anymore." Seaver added with a grimace. "I'm afraid of only seeing my Mary Sue counterpart."
"So what do you think kid?" Morgan asked as he eyed Reid with an amused expression.
Reid frowned. "Well to put it bluntly, I hate Twilight."
Author's Notes
I don't necessarily hate Twilight, I just dislike Bella cuz let's face it, she's a huge Mary Sue. They had something good with the plot but when I noticed how Sue-ish Bella was and how overly romantic it was I just lost interest.
It's cool how here I can just let my imagination run wild!
