So I just found out I was nominated for the Profiler's Choice Award and won. Never knew what it was till recently. I owe it all to you. But honestly I didn't write this expecting an award or recognition, far from it. I only wanted to write a silly story that can bring a good laugh out of you; only wanted to write something that can brighten a day after a bad outing. If you're happy I'm happy. :)
Fanfiction Trauma
Thanks to silverstairs for my 1100th review!
Chapter 33: Killer on the Loose (Part Two)
"Should I read it?" Hotch repeated when he was met with silence.
The group paused once again and exchanged several glances amongst one another. This went on for about a minute.
Finally Blake cut the silence. "I don't see why not. There's no character bashing, at least, not yet."
"Yeah," Rossi agreed. "It seems fairly decent too."
"Plus I want to see if Willy is the killer." Garcia added.
JJ nodded. "I second that."
"There you have it. The jury has spoken." Emily said.
It was all Hotch needed to click the next chapter.
"We all know it'll be me in the end." Will grumbled with crossed arms. "Then my guy is obviously getting shot."
Author - wow oh wow thanks for the reviews! I've finally gotten the last part of this done. Here we go!
"What happened to the lights?!" Emily cried out.
"Is the power out now?" Derek said. "I can't see shit!"
"Aaaahhh!"
They all turned towards the familiar scream. It was too hard to see in the pitch black mansion.
"That was Jordan!" Kevin gasped.
A thunderstorm occurred outside and briefly illuminated the hallway. It was all they needed to see Jordan with her throat sliced, blood flowing profusely out.
"Ouch." Kevin winced. "Shouldn't this be M-rated?"
"It should," Hotch answered. "But as usual the author failed to read the rules considering it's in the teen section."
"It's the killer!" JJ yelled knowing Jordan was dead.
"Fuck this everyone for themselves!" Derek shouted as he bolted upstairs.
Morgan frowned. "Okay, now I know I'm the common soon-to-be-dead black guy these movies tend to have. Why did they have to use movie related clichés to make this story?"
"So far that's about the one detail that's been bothering me." Garcia said. "Otherwise there's nothing overly bad about this story."
"Wait we can't split up!" Will retorted but unfortunately it was too late. They had all scurried to any direction.
Emily entered one of the rooms and slammed the door shut. She pressed herself against the door and sighed. There was only one door here so there was no way anyone could get in without her noticing. She was safe.
Suddenly a sharp pain echoed in her back. She looked down to see a blood flowing out as the knife had been pushed from behind the door. She fell dead to the floor.
"Talk about irony." Blake exclaimed in amusement.
Will snickered. "Now that's what I call getting stabbed in the back."
"Character 'butchering' at its finest!" Rossi remarked.
"Oh Emily," Morgan sighed, shaking his head mockingly and putting an arm around her. "What have I said about watching your 'back'?"
Emily frowned and shoved his arm off. "Haha really funny guys. I for one am glad my character is dead. No chance of any sort of humiliation now."
Elsewhere Will had stopped running and looked around. Where was he? He just ran blindly up the stairs for safety after the attack. A light popped up and made him cover his eyes. He was about to book it but there was a familiar voice speaking.
"Will!"
"Ashley!"
"So I'm pretty sure we can establish that Will isn't the killer by now." Rossi said.
"What?" Will retorted in shock as if that were some sort of taboo. "How can you tell?"
JJ sighed in exasperation. "If you stopped with this unhealthy obsession you have with Fanfiction dot net hating you for one minute then you'd see the signs."
He stared at her.
She waited for the information to sink in.
He continued staring.
She groaned. "Argh! For God's sake! The story clearly shows you running from the killer and looking for safety."
Still he didn't (or simply refused to) believe it.
He ran over and embraced her. "I'm glad you're okay!"
"I'm glad you're okay too." She murmured onto his chest.
Emily raised a brow. "I'm not exactly the best at this stuff but it's pretty obvious this is some love triangle thing."
"A crack one too." Seaver added. "Me and Will? That's got to be ultimate crack right there."
Will laughed. "No kidding."
She pulled away afterwards and gestured the flashlight in her hands. "Managed to find one in this darkness. We have to find the others."
"Ashley, Will, is that you?"
They turned to see Derek. At first Ashley was about to go to him but Will halted her when he noticed the red stains on his hands.
"Hey hold on," Kevin cut in abruptly causing Hotch to pause. He got up and switched the lights off. "Just setting the mood here. It'll be scarier like this."
Garcia eyed him blankly. "Kevin we aren't five."
"Have you seen the others?"
"I was with JJ but I lost her. One minute she's here and the next she's gone. I think the killer got her!"
Will narrowed his eyes and stepped protectively in front of Ashley. "How can you let her off your sights like that? And just what is that stain on your hands? Huh?!"
"No it isn't what you think! I found Emily, she's dead!"
"Emily's dead?" Ashley whispered in disbelief, clinging closer to Will.
Derek shot him a glare. "Don't you even try and fucking blame this on me!"
Will hesitated. This was Derek... his friend. Weren't they all his friends? But someone must've killed the others. It had to be someone inside, right?
"You weren't this suspicious with Ashley but Derek gets the cold shoulder?" Kevin wondered aloud.
"She's my guy's love interest, remember? So she'll obviously get special treatment. Plus she didn't have blood stains on her."
"Aah, right!"
Although Derek didn't look like he was hiding a weapon. So he went with his gut instinct. "Okay Derek. I'll take your word on this and—"
Suddenly the door opened beside Derek and a cloaked figure pushed him past the window, breaking it and the fall killed him instantly.
Emily shot Morgan a smirk. "At least you bit the dust doing what you do best: remodeling the house out, eh Derek? Some nice redecorating on the windows there."
"Alright, alright, you had your laugh." He grumbled, already regretting having previously made fun of her.
"My guy is smart, lying in wait like that for the perfect opportunity." Will exclaimed before pausing when he realized his words. "Oh wait... my character was with Ashley. Which can only mean that I'm—"
"Not the killer," JJ finished for him. "That's what we've been telling you."
"Apparently neither is Ashley." Blake added. "It's actually quite obvious who it is by now."
"Eh? It is?" Kevin asked in confusion.
"Yeah it is." Rossi answered.
Kevin frowned before crossing his arms. "Well I'm no profiler so no spoiling it."
"I'm with him," Garcia chimed in. "I don't have a clue who it is."
Kevin paled. "Unless... it's me! Oh boy of course it'll be me! The only hated characters in this stupid fandom are Will, Ashley, and me; and since it isn't Will or Ashley it's clearly gonna be me. I told you I'd be the killer Will."
"Never thought I'd be glad to be wrong." The detective replied proudly.
"No!" Will shouted before charging in. "Son of a bitch!"
Using the darkness to their advantage the killer managed to evade him.
"Where are ya' bastard?!" He snapped preparing to chase again.
"Stop Will!" Ashley cried in desperation, clinging to his back and holding him. "Please," She said with a much weaker voice. "I don't want you to die. You're too important to me."
Will turned to her and returned the embrace. "We move forward together. I won't leave your side I swear."
"Hmm..." Reid murmured, frowning slightly. "I can't help but find it a tad irritating how my character's feelings are being ignored. Am I chopped liver?"
Seaver held her arms up defensively. "Don't look at me I didn't write this. Besides, your character kissed mines not the other way around. For all we know she could've liked Will all along."
"Bud, it's rare when my character is portrayed in a good way; don't ruin this for me by making me feel guilty bout' your character's loss." Will added almost pleadingly.
"Fair enough."
He pulled away and took her hand. "We can't stay here. Let's get out of here. Since the road is blocked we'll just have to find another way out of here."
Using the flashlight Ashley had found they managed to head down the stairs, making sure to avoid being too close to the doors and windows. They passed the hallway and entered the kitchen.
"Why the kitchen?" JJ asked incredulously.
"It's based on a typical scary movie, remember?" Rossi stated. "The characters must therefore be portrayed as complete simpletons."
Morgan laughed. "And nothing beats a late night snack."
Upon hearing sounds coming from the hallway he shut the flashlight and pulled her behind the counter. "Shhh I hear something."
"What do we do?" She whispered in fear when she noticed the footsteps getting closer.
Blake stood upwards. "Since I already know who it is I'm going to go to the restroom. I'll be right back." She froze and turned to the rest who all had smug looks. "I forgot you aren't supposed to say that."
"We'll see you in the kitchen with a knife on your back." Morgan joked.
"But don't worry. It won't be me because," Will started before smirking, puffing his chest out slightly and raising a brow. "I'm not the killer."
"You're making it sound as if you won the lottery." Emily joked.
"Considering that the odds of me being portrayed nicely are identical to winning the lotto I'd say it's fair to say I have every right to feel ecstatic."
Hotch chuckled to himself before returning to his task.
"I'm not leaving you I already said it." He declared. Judging by the sounds of the footsteps they could assume the person was inside the kitchen. "Listen, when they get closer I'm going to charge out and try and get the upper hand."
She nodded in response.
Will squeezed her hand reassuringly. It didn't matter if he didn't make it; if he were honest he wasn't even sure he was. But he'd guarantee she lived no matter what.
JJ couldn't help but twitch. "Why is it that there aren't any good stories that portray you this well in the ones involving us together? Are we the most hated pairing or what? It's always us wanting to kill each other. No pun intended."
"Oh hun," Will said before pulling her close. "There's no need to be jealous. My character likes Ashley not me."
"It was a question. It has nothing to do with jealousy." She replied with a death glare.
He waited until he was absolutely positive the person was only a few feet away before jumping out. He successfully tackled the person and was about to aim a fist.
"Wait, wait!"
His hand froze in midair. "Spencer?"
"Aaaah!"
Ashley came out and pointed the flashlight on him. She smiled in relief. "Oh God, you're alive?"
Will backed away. "How can we tell you aren't the killer?"
"Me a killer? I'm not the killer!" He raised his hands up and twirled around. "Do you see a knife or blood stains on me? There's no way I'm the killer. I've been looking for Ashley this entire time!"
"Awww," Morgan teased.
"See guys, I'm the killer." Kevin grumbled. "It's obviously not any of you three."
"I wouldn't be so sure." Garcia replied. "For all we know the author could just randomly throw someone in."
At that, Hotch turned to her briefly. "Now that I think about it that's actually a possibility."
"I'm glad you're safe." Ashley said and hugged him. "I thought everyone but us would be dead by now."
"Trust me so did I. It's good to see you two alive."
"We have to get out of here." Will ordered taking a hold of Ashley and nudging the genius forward. "There's power in numbers so there's no way one guy is taking the 3 of us out."
Upon reaching the door the trio stopped when they realized it was opening. Standing at the now opened door was a cloaked figure. (A/N - A.K.A the killer guys)
"Noooo really? Who else would it be?" Garcia cut in sarcastically.
Will pushed in front of the two. "Get the hell out of our way! You can't take on the 3 of us you shit!"
The killer didn't budge or respond. Instead they pulled something out from their pocket.
"It's a gun!" Ashley gasped in fear.
"Not many killers use both a knife and a gun." Kevin said in awe. "It's pretty rare."
"Plot twist." Garcia replied.
"Who are you?" Spencer—
"Aaaah!"
said in fear. He was completely terrified.
The person pulled off the hood, finally revealing their identity. The 3 were left completely speechless. It was Ashley who broke the silence.
"JJ?"
"JJ?!" Kevin gasped, jaw dropped.
"Didn't see that coming." Garcia added just as surprised.
"Yes, yes," JJ groaned. "It's me. I'm the killer."
Will couldn't help but smirk. "Guess the shoe's on the other foot. Gotta say, it's always good when I'm not bashed. Don't you agree, hun?"
"Shut up Will."
Will was dumbstruck. He approached her, fists clenched at his side. His shock was subsiding and his anger was at a boiling point. "Why? Derek, Emily, Jordan, all of them... they were my friends! Our friends! Why did you do this?!"
She chuckled bitterly. "Why? Why?! Instead of asking me why don't you ask that skank behind you?"
JJ frowned. "Thanks for the OOC warning."
"JJ as a killer, can you imagine?" Rossi said.
"Not gonna lie but it'd be pretty hot." Will answered only to receive a glare from JJ.
This only infuriated him. "What the hell does she have to do with this?!"
"It was always about her, everyday, that's all you ever talked about! Ever since she entered your life she's all you've thought about! That's why you left me because you were in love with her! She stole you away!"
Both of the others looked at Will in disbelief. The accusations had certainly caught them off guard.
"Then why did you kill the others?!" He barked.
JJ only smiled wickedly. "Well, couldn't leave witnesses now could I?"
"What are you going to do now?" Ashley dared to ask.
"It was all supposed to go off smoothly. I was simply going to slice your neck and be done with this. Unfortunately Will just wouldn't leave your side so I'm afraid I'm going to have to kill you all."
"No please!" Pleaded Spencer.
"Aaaah!"
"Relax; you'll be last if it makes you feel better." She joked cruelly before aiming the gun at Ashley. "The skank dies first."
Will stepped in front of Ashley and opened his arms up in a defensive stance. "I will not allow that! You're killing me first!"
Will folded his arms comfortably behind his head. "So y'know I just can't get over how badass my guy is being played out. He's actually in character. This is exactly how I'd react with someone trying to harm my friends or the ones I love. I'd like it more if it was JJ who my guy liked but it's all good."
This served to further piss her off. "Then die!"
"Don't!" Ashley cried as a gunshot rang through the air.
Surprisingly it was JJ who fell to the ground. A gunshot wound decorating her skull. The trio looked upwards and were once again shocked. Standing by the doorway was Kevin.
A silence loomed above the overly crowded room. No one moved. No one spoke. One could swear a tumbleweed blew in the distant.
"Found this baby in your uncle's room." Kevin said beckoning the gun. "I figured I should find the bastard and protect my friends. I didn't expect the killer to be one of my own friends though, or... I guess I refused to. Are you guys alright?"
"Me... the hero?" Kevin uttered incredulously. Slowly his lips tilted upwards. "Wow! I'm being portrayed nicely. What are the odds? Am I right guys?"
The group immediately ran over and bear hugged him.
"Buddy you saved us!" Will said happily.
At last the rain cleared and dawn began settling in. The cops had arrived and the four survivors had been patched up by the ambulances.
Will made his way to Ashley. "How ya' holding up?"
"She couldn't stand me Will. All this time... she hated me."
"Think you know someone huh?" He replied sadly. "I never thought she'd go this far."
"Is what she said in there true?" She asked, making him face her. "Are you really... in love with me?"
Will turned away. "Yeah. It's true— but I understand if you don't return my feelings!" He added quickly.
"The truth is I... I've always been in love with you—
"Spare me." JJ muttered.
ever since high school. I just never did anything because you were dating..." Ashley couldn't even say her name. It brought chills.
Will pulled her in to his chest. "It's alright. I'm here now and it'll be okay. I'm never leaving your side."
The other two survivors watched the scene with a smile. Each relieved to have lived through this ordeal.
End
Thanks for reading!
Hotch stood and calmly eyed his friends. "Thoughts?"
"I loved it!" Will answered, dashing for the chair. "So much so that I'm leaving this nice kid a good review!"
"Let em' know how awesome it was bro!" Kevin said while peering over Will's shoulder.
JJ crossed her arms. "Are you kidding me? It sucked. There was horrible OOC-ness everywhere."
Morgan nodded in agreement. "And to think this author dare name themselves after me."
Suddenly the door to the room opened and due to the lights being off only the silhouette of a person was visible.
"AAAAH!" All but Hotch shrieked.
"What's wrong with you guys and why's it so dark in here?" Blake asked as she entered, flipping the lights on.
"Damn it Blake, not cool." Morgan replied with crossed arms.
Jack rose from the bed with a frown."Ssshh! Trying to sleep here guys."
The adults all lowered their heads. "Sorry!"
Author's Note
Haha so only reviewer sez101 kind of guessed it. They guessed Spence or JJ. As always I'd like to remind you that this is a parody meant for laughs. Don't take it serious now.
