A/N: I remain certain their week on P4X-234 was a turning point for their relationship or rather their non-relationship thanks to the military. Ha.
I'm pretty sure in Small Victories (the episode straight after this incident on P4X-234) it's the first time we hear Sam say 'ya sure, you betcha' and doesn't she have a bit of a… spring in her step?
I mean, even in 'The Other Side" the episode ends with the two of them having a lengthy conversation with their eyes only. (I know they have been doing that forever, but it seems more… significant.)
I have worked unbelievably long on this story – more than I think I ever have. It's a long one and this is actually the start to a series – it's mostly based in Season 4 but there will be later stories in Season 7/8 I won't ruin the surprise. ;-)
This is my headcanon and it's so nice to get it out of my head and… well not onto paper, but you know. This first chapter is remarkably long… it spun out of control, but it was just too fun to write. :-)
Chapter 1: P4X-234 (Jack's POV)
He stumbled slightly as he exited backwards through the gate, eyes immediately focusing on the wormhole hoping not one of those little buggers had gotten through. He knew without looking that Carter who had come through the gate on his left had lost her balance too and he flung out an arm to steady her.
It wasn't until the wormhole disengaged that he finally let out the breath he didn't even know he had been holding and dropped his weapon to his side, he turned to face Carter who still clutched his arm.
He found she was surveying his body for injuries and flicked his own gaze over her quickly, once he was sure she was okay he returned his eyes to her face, only to meet her intense gaze.
It gave him a shiver, it always did. He had certainly learned to speak to other team members without speaking, but he had never been able to have full conversations, like right now, the way he seemed to with Carter. He didn't want to think to deeply on that one… but he sometimes had the irrational thought that she might be able to read his mind.
Still in sync, they turned together to check on Thor. He saw Teal'c out of his periphery scanning the perimeter. He was about to ask Carter how to open the stasis pod, but before Thor's face even came into focus the entire statis pod was beamed away.
He heard Carter gasp in surprise. She looked as confused as he was as to why the Asguard had just beamed Thor away and left them behind. The three of them raised their faces to the sky… which chose that moment to break apart, torrents of rain escaped, and he suddenly felt as though he were drowning.
He turned to the others blinking rapidly as he tried to clear the rain from his eyes. He swiped a damp sleeve across his face pointlessly. The rain was the kind that soaked you in mere seconds.
"What an exit," he said sarcastically. He looked around and through the sheets of rain he could see they had arrived on a thankfully forested planet – so the three of them without speaking, dashed for the treeline which gave them at least a little shelter from the downpour, but the sound was deafening.
"Now what?" He shouted over the noise, turning to Teal'c since he had been the one to dial the gate to P3X-234.
"It's not far - we will have - shelter soon." Teal'c shouted at them, but still Jack only heard pieces of what he was saying. The three of them automatically huddled together so they wouldn't have to shout to each other, without thinking he placed a hand at the small of Carter's back and leaned in, trying to shelter her a little from the rain. "A small portion of Jaffa have settled here recently, some of the more… sought after ones who needed a place to hide."
"A fugitive hideout, sweet." He grinned and turned to Carter, their faces were so close he could see the rain dripping from Carter's nose, she was licking it away as it reached her lips. In fact, their faces were so close that the sight of her tongue darting out caused him to suck in a nervous breath and he shifted out of her space a little. He still longed to reach out and brush her wet bangs from her forehead and tightened his hand into a fist against her back as he fought the urge, refocusing on Teal'c and the matter at hand.
They were in unknown territory in the pouring rain after blowing up an Asguard ship and saving Earth again and he was thinking about how much he wanted to kiss Carter? If the situation wasn't so dire and the woman in question wasn't shivering in the cold, he might have laughed.
"Lead the way then Teal'c," he turned back to the Jaffa and waved his P-90 ahead of them, the forest was thick and there were no discernible trails.
Instead, Teal'c walked past the two of them - the opposite direction to where Jack had just gestured. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Carter bite her lip as if trying not to laugh.
..
He glanced at her now and again as they walked, she looked cold. It concerned him that they were on an unknown planet with no supplies and limited ammo. He peered at her vest to see whether she still had a handgun.
"What is it sir?" She enquired, shooting him a worried look.
"I was looking to see what weapons you had."
"Ah, this" she held up her P-90 "-and a handgun." She patted the right-hand side of her vest.
"Not a lot in the way of supplies then."
"No sir, but maybe Teal'c's friends will supply us with food and water at least."
How had he not thought about that? He let out a snort of laughter. He had thought about defending his team, but not about the necessities – water, food, and shelter. Typical, he thought wryly.
They emerged from the forest, and this cut their conversation short. He was glad they were situated so close to the gate; they couldn't have been walking for more than five minutes.
The clearing was not big, it must once have been grassy but having been used as a campsite it had mostly turned to mud, there were decent sized puddles from the recent downpour, but the rain had let up a little.
There were a few canvas tents dotted about, but not a person in sight. Sheltering from the rain he guessed. There was still at least one fire still somehow lit despite the rain. As they walked closer, he saw the fires were actually pits dug into the ground with walls made of large river stones to protect from some of the wind and perhaps a little of the rain.
"It is I, Teal'c of Chulak." Teal'c called into the clearing.
He could smell cooking food too and his stomach rumbled at the thought. He looked over at Carter to see her reaction, she was scanning the area as he had been. She looked pale and he was desperate to get her by a fire. He needed his team fit and well, though they were technically not on a mission – you never did know what would happen while on an alien planet.
"Teal'c," a tall wiry looking man emerged from a tent and strode forward to take Teal'c's forearm in his hands and bowed his head.
"Re'lak," Teal'c said, grinning broadly. "It is good to see you."
"It is good to see you too." Though, Re'lak cocked his head to the side in question, his green eyes alight with curiosity. "What brings you here?"
"We just need a place to shelter for the night," Teal'c looked up at the rapidly darkening sky. "We are unable to get back to Earth at this time."
"Of course," Re'lak responded without hesitation.
"This is Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter of the Tau'ri." Teal'c gestured to him and then Carter in turn. Re'lak turned to them and gave a welcoming smile.
Jack saw Re'lak give Carter a slightly longer look and at first, he felt a rush of anger and perhaps a hint of jealousy, that is… until he came to his senses. He too looked at her bedraggled form and felt his concern for her wellbeing return, that was all Re'lak had been doing – taking in her pitiful appearance. Plus, he reminded himself with a little shake of his head – she was not his to be jealous of. He had no right to be jealous when men showed her attention.
"Let's get you near a fire, and I'll find you somewhere to shelter for the night." Re'lak offered, stepping into the circle of tents. He ducked into a tent and brought out an armload of dry firewood and handed it to him. Jack tucked it under his arm, and they continued walking.
"Jaffa, we have visitors." Re'lak boomed, his voice was commanding, and he felt Carter straightening beside him, he had to fight the urge himself – Re'lak had an air of authority about him for sure.
Men began exiting tents, tentatively at first but curiosity seemed to get the better of them and eventually four Jaffa men were standing around the little campsite looking at them in interest.
"We will be sheltering the Tau'ri, Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter as well as Teal'c for the night." Re'lak told the men. "We will require a fire and a shelter for the Tau'ri." He looked over at Teal'c before continuing. "I'm afraid we have little supplies available, but there is space in my tent for you Teal'c." He pointed to the largest of the four tents.
A man stepped towards Jack. "I'm afraid my shelter is small, but it will keep the rain off you tonight. I can share with Al'tac. I'll show you the way." The man turned and they left Teal'c with Re'lak and followed him.
He and Carter weaved through what he had generously called tents – but were more like thick canvas sheets held up by sticks and makeshift beds made of thin looking canvas blankets beneath. It was going to be a cold and dreary night, that was for sure. He had a moment of pity for these Jaffa, hiding from the Goa'uld and living like this.
The man removed his belongings from the tent and then reminding them once more, that supplies were short and to take only what they needed, he pointed out where the food supplies were being stored.
Jack once more thought of how unfair it was that these kind and generous people were living in such scarcity. He thought of his cushy life at home and silently promised to make sure they thanked the Jaffa for their hospitality and returned with supplies as soon as they reached Earth.
He and Carter had camped off-world often enough that they made quick work setting up their 'camp'. There were a few logs clearly set up as seats surrounding the fire pit, and he set a pot of vegetable soup on the frame that rested over it.
Once he had seated himself on the nearest log-seat, he looked around the camp for Teal'c. He saw him sitting with Re'lak and when the Jaffa caught him looking, he gave them a wave and a nod. When he was content that Teal'c was alright he turned to Carter who had just settled herself beside him.
He suddenly felt as though all the air had left his lungs. He had not had time to stop and process all that had happened since he had been beamed aboard the Biliskner. He felt overwhelmed by the emotion that flooded through him at the sight of her face, lit red with the flickering firelight. Just that morning he thought he was never going to see her again, and then in a matter of hours he thought they were both going to die… but somehow, they had survived… again.
"Sir I-" Carter started to speak, looking uncertain. She paused, pressing her lips together. He could feel the nervous tension coming off her in waves.
"Yes?" He prompted; his voice sounded strained even to his ears. He had a feeling he knew what she was going to say, and as if her tension was contagious, he felt himself stiffening beside her.
They had been doing this little dance for more years than he cared to remember – they had been toeing an invisible line they both knew was there. It was a dangerous game they played but neither was willing to step back from the front-line of this war and hell, he had never led a team quite like SG-1.
He knew how he felt… but had never once communicated it with her. He was as close to her as that line, as those damn military regulations, would allow. He knew the rest of SG-1 was aware of their closer than usual relationship, but he was grateful that neither Daniel nor Teal'c ever raised the topic. He suspected Janet Fraiser was also aware of the bond between himself and Carter, but she never mentioned it either.
"I'm glad you are okay," she said it with such conviction, the emotions her voice elicited made his head spin. He took a deep breath trying to find his equilibrium. He couldn't let his heart rule his head.
"Yeah, me too." He shrugged as if sacrificing his life for Earth was an everyday experience – which, he supposed, it almost was. "Wonder why the Asguard didn't take us too?" He asked, hoping this would steer their conversation into safer territory.
"I'm sorry I disobeyed your order," she ignored his question and he sighed internally.
He knew there was something hanging between them, a little balloon of tension, it had been growing since the moment he had been beamed aboard Thor's ship. Maybe they did have to talk about it.
They were still soaked through and cold, and he watched her raise her hands to the fire, he followed suit – realising the tips of his fingers were beginning to go numb from the cold. He stared at their hands, hers small and delicate compared to his. He knew she was anything but delicate – but her femininity was still all too obvious to him.
He stayed silent while he thought how to respond. He had to be careful. He was aware she felt something for him, hence their closeness… but this was where things got confusing for him. He didn't know the depth of her feelings; he only knew what he felt for her.
Had she really beamed aboard the Biliskner predominantly to rescue him? Or was this just him projecting his own feelings onto her?
He knew without a doubt if their roles were reversed, he would not have let her die alone, or at all if he could have done anything to change it.
But… he had been clear in his orders while standing as a holograph in the briefing room. He was not going to have Carter, or Teal'c for that matter – die unnecessarily. Hell, he struggled enough putting them on the frontline in this war.
Major, that's an order, and it's final.
He knew of all the members of his team she was least likely to disobey an order, but he had seen the pain that had creased her face when she understood he was not going to return. He had wondered, even then, if she was going to disregard his order and beam herself up with the ordinance.
If their feelings for one another were the deciding matter for her to beam up to the Biliskner… then this was a problem… and where he suspected the tension stemmed from
"Your mind is worth so much more than mine, Carter." He finally answered, heaved a sigh, and shifted forward to stir the soup in the pot, still unable to look at her. Looking into her eyes always tripped him up in situations like this. "But I also know General Hammond wouldn't have allowed you to beam up, if you hadn't come up with a solid plan to get us off that ship."
Yet, he was not convinced she really did have a solid plan. He didn't know how she had convinced the General that she could get them all off Thor's ship, she hadn't actually told him.
"I had a plan." She said it in such a soft tone that he wasn't even sure he had heard her at first, she seemed to instinctively know he was struggling to get his head around it.
He gave a noncommittal grunt as he ladled soup into two bowls, and they ate in silence, each lost in their own thoughts. He was tired and scared. He couldn't have her risking her life for him, he wasn't worth it. He was also afraid that if she disobeyed a direct order once it would mean the next time it would be easier for her. The thought of losing his Carter was just too much.
Had it really been just that morning that he had asked her to go to Minnesota with him? To go fishing…?
He felt his stomach flip at the memory. At first, she had looked shocked, flattered even, at his invitation… then almost as if a switch had been flicked, she became skittish.
He felt guilty for making her anxious, but he couldn't tell if she thought he was going to try something on, or if she were afraid of how it might look to others. Or perhaps she really just didn't want to go to Minnesota with him.
He had only intended to go with her as a friend, though he knew that any lengthy time alone with her was a risk. He thought though, despite the danger, it was worth it to share one of his favourite places on Earth with her.
He had left her lab feeling that she just didn't want to spend her vacation time with him… and he had kept the moment light for both their sakes, despite feeling like an absolute fool. Of course, she didn't want to spend her free time with him!
When she had dashed into the corridor behind him, he had been so sure she was going to change her mind. He had turned to her, hope rising in his chest. She must have seen his expression because the next thing he knew she was once more looking panicked and telling him to - have a good time.
She had spooked again, and he desperately wanted to fix it… and before he knew what was happening, he had begun babbling.
Ya sure you betcha, snookums
She was his 2IC for god's sake. There was nothing wrong with going on a little vacation with her. Sure, it would probably only intensify the rumours about them on base but if they didn't do anything worth a court-martial, then where was the harm?
Snookums. The endearment had popped out of his mouth without much thought. He was trying to keep things casual but as he stood there, he saw her walls coming back down and he felt like kicking himself. She was afraid of him.
..
He finally found the courage to turn to her, and he watched her eat. Now and again, she would pause, bowl in lap, to put her hands once more over the fire, trying to defrost her poor aching fingers he supposed.
"What's going on in that big brain of yours, Carter?"
He watched as she tried to swallow her mouthful of soup but ended up choking and he thumped her on the back. A part of him, that very hopeful part of him, wondered if she had been thinking about Minnesota too.
"Sorry sir," she rasped and took a sip from her canteen.
He left his hand on her back for a moment, rubbing gently until he realised, he was probably beginning to breach that silent contract they had – no lingering touches.
"Something important, no doubt." He yawned loudly. He wouldn't make her answer, he was exhausted anyway. "I reckon we should hit the sack; we can try dial Earth in the morning."
Somewhere between when he dished them up the soup and now, something had changed, some of that underlying tension had drained away. He knew they had more to discuss, but it could wait until morning. They had opened that door of communication and it was a relief in of itself.
"Yes sir," she agreed.
Sleep, sleep would make everything better.
They turned to their 'tent' and both seemed to recognise the tight sleeping quarters at the same moment. He let out a groan, and she made a little 'ah' sound.
There was nothing for it though. They needed shelter, and they needed sleep. There was no choice. So, he decided to make light of the situation – it was the only way.
He turned to her and looked her up and down.
"I reckon we might both fit in there… just." She gave him an amused smile and opened the front of the tent.
"Let's get as much as our wet things off as we can sir," she suggested and ducked into the tent.
Ah shit. He hadn't thought that far ahead. He looked down at his white shirt soaked through, his vest and his soaking cargo pants. This was going to be incredibly uncomfortable.
When he stepped inside, she was standing just inside on the right and had already shed her jacket. He turned his back on her and took off his vest, staring hopelessly down at his shirt. He couldn't sleep in wet clothing, she was right. He slowly dragged it over his head, dropped it to the floor at his feet and then risked a look over his shoulder.
He froze. She was less than an arm length from him, standing in a little green tank top and… underwear. He couldn't help it, his eyes roved from head to toe, she was covered in goosebumps but instead of telling her to get under the blankets, he found his gaze lingering on her lips. She seemed aware of this and licked them nervously.
"Sir," she breathed out the honorific and he tore his eyes from her lips. No. He needed to distance himself. Now.
In the firelight flickering through the thin canvas tent walls, he saw her blue eyes were dark and intense and he had the sudden urge to run.
How was he supposed to sleep next to her dressed like that and remain professional?
"Get into the bed, Carter." He cleared his throat when he realised how husky his voice had sounded and turned from her closing his eyes tightly for a moment trying to regain some semblance of control.
He heard her shuffling behind him, and he felt himself relax slightly knowing when he turned around, he wouldn't have to see all that bare skin, he wouldn't have to fight the urge to say fuck it all and pull her against him. He bit his lip as hard as he could, trying to focus instead on the pain and not the nearly naked woman climbing into bed behind him.
He undressed slowly, procrastinating because he really needed to get that self-control back before he climbed into bed with her. When he finally had his breathing under control he turned and found her eyes on him. He didn't quite know what to make of it.
He knew she was attracted to him. He had known for a very long time. He could even pinpoint the moment – they had been infected by a virus that had turned them Neanderthal some time in their first year of working together. She had come onto him in the locker room, and he would probably never forget it…
There had been moments when she was kissing him that he thought he might not have the self-control necessary to stop her. She had kissed him with such ferocity it would have been difficult even if he wasn't acutely aware of how much he wanted her.
You want me
Not like this.
It was also then, after fighting with Daniel over her – that he realised he might have a bit more of a problem than he first thought. He had been battling his attraction for her since the first moment he had laid eyes on her, but it was after this incident he had wondered whether his feelings might be heading in a rather more serious direction.
They had conveniently been able to blame their behaviour on the virus, which in part it was because of that – but something had subtly changed between them. He supposed their very real desires had come to the surface and they were both aware of the implications. It wasn't just chance that she had chosen him of all the men on base, nor was it just testosterone that had caused his fight with Daniel.
"Are you okay sir?"
He must have been standing there looking stupidly down at her for longer than he thought as she looked genuinely concerned and she had pulled herself upright in their make-shift bed.
He didn't answer but slipped under the blankets doing his best not to touch her. He was relieved to find the interior was some kind of soft animal fur, a kind of wool. There was also some kind of animal skin mat beneath them too. He had imagined they would be sleeping on the canvas floor of the tent, so it was a welcome surprise.
She looked comfortable and warm and had snuggled back under the blankets her head on the single pillow. Though the fire outside was starting to die down, he could still make out her features in the dim light.
"I don't bite." She told him with a mocking lilt to her voice.
"That is a lie Major Carter, you have most definitely bitten me before." He retorted, smirking at her, wondering if she remembered it as clearly as he did.
"Oh yes, I'm still sorry about that sir. In my defence, I was blind at the time…"
"I forgive you," he said with a chuckle.
She wordlessly patted the pillow beside her head, and he gulped. This was closer than he had intended to lay with her. He moved a little closer and they silently managed to manoeuvre themselves, so that they had half the pillow each and lay back-to-back. He figured that was about as close to 'professional' as they could get given the tight quarters.
The warmth from her back spread through him and he carefully pushed aside all inappropriate thoughts of biting and instead forced himself to listen to the light rain on the canvas roof, to the men's voices in the camp around them. He could feel the soft skin of her bare shoulders though, and now and again she would move, and a silky-smooth leg would brush his. It was as much agonising as it was pleasurable.
He finally relaxed, having finally reached a point where he wasn't fighting the urge to roll over and tuck her body against his own. While he wanted to praise himself for self-control, he was pretty sure pure exhaustion had kicked in and helped dampen the feelings she evoked in him. Something worked anyway, as eventually he fell asleep.
TBC.
