No you aren't dreaming and this isn't a drill. I have actually updated the story this quickly. Special thanks to rediopath'd for being the 1300th reviewer. Really amazing all the support ladies and gentlemen.

This one is for Diamonder who suggested earlier on for a Hotch and Rossi pairing story. Can't believe I haven't done one already. Here's another one for ya!

Fanfiction Trauma


Chapter 38: Hotch/Rossi (Uh, Hossi...? Rotch?)

Everyone eyed Will cautiously.

In return he raised a brow. "What? Do I have something on my face?"

"We just thought you'd be freaking out." Garcia stated with concern. "Every time we finish reading a story you freak out and act as if it's been months."

Seaver examined him, crossing her arms. "So why aren't you freaking out?"

"Your guess is as good as mine." Will shrugged.

"It has to be the story," JJ deduced as she embraced Will in relief. "It must've helped your deteriorating sanity. You might just be on the road to recovery."

"That means Spencer can get better too!" Will said happily.

"Okay I hate to be that guy," Morgan cut in. "But are we really all going to ignore the fact that the story Will read was horse shit?"

"Good point, "Rossi agreed." How can we possibly counteract bad fanfiction with more bad fanfiction?"

"It wasn't that bad." Will shot back defensively.

"Just spin the bottle Will," Blake suggested. "Perhaps one of us can find a better—" She paused briefly at his distraught face. "Sorry, what I meant was, perhaps we can find one and enjoy it as much as you enjoyed yours." She didn't wish to hurt his feelings, especially given how fragile he's been since this ordeal began.

This seemed to satisfy Will as he motioned for them to take a seat. "I'll get us started then."

"Come on, land on me..." Emily muttered repeatedly like a mantra.

"No way Emily I deserve this chance," Kevin cut in. "I need to find me a good story that doesn't bash me, kind of like the one my bro found."

"None of us want to hear something sappy like that again," Seaver replied. "Do we?"

"We don't." They all, but Will, said.

The bottle slowed its pace and the group tensed.

And then it stopped.

"Oh," Blake blinked. "It landed on me."

"Blake this is wonderful!" Reid sang happily as he clasped both of Blake's hands. "With you there's no chance of finding a story that's overly bias to the reader."

"This is bull!" Morgan protested while jabbing a finger in the bottle's direction, rather childishly. "The tip is clearly pointing way more towards me than Blake!"

"No it isn't Morgan, sit down," Hotch ordered. "Now."

Morgan was about to whine more but one look at his leader made him sit down, opting to sulk instead.

"In all honesty I'm not sure how I feel about this." Blake stated, still feeling unfamiliar with this new power of choice.

"Just give it your best shot," Rossi replied, gently pushing her towards the chair. "It's like Reid said this is much better than the alternative."

"See," Reid exclaimed with a triumphant nod. "Now go on. It's better than had it landed on Morgan."

"I suppose your right," She smiled at the genius. "I'll go have a look. Wait how many characters can you add again?"

"Up to four," Will answered.

"Then I'll squeeze three of you into the story."

"Three?" Kevin repeated.

"Well," Blake bit her lip sheepishly, not the expression they were used to seeing, yet quite adorable. "I'm curious to find one with me in it."

"Fair enough to me," Garcia said. "Good thing it landed on you then. I shudder to think what my chocolate warrior would pick."

Rossi chuckled while Blake went to look for a story. "I think we have an idea already Penelope."

"Unbelievable," Morgan grumbled, still peeved. "Just completely unbelievable." He nudged Seaver. "Hey, you saw it right? The tip was more on my side."

Seaver merely nodded. God forbid she denied him and he ranted his case to her for the remainder of the oddly long day. Jokes aside she was starting to see what Will was talking about. This day seemed like it was going on for hours. And wasn't it strange how not one of them had gotten called back into work? What were the odds of that? She was tempted to ask Reid.

"Thank you," Morgan snapped -breaking her thoughts- while swinging his arms up dramatically. "Good to know you don't need an eye examination Seaver."

Emily sunk back to her spot on the floor, resting her head on her palm. She was equally as disappointed as Morgan, only she wasn't as immature. "This sucks."

"Oh shoot," Blake muttered just then.

"What's up?" Kevin asked. She'd been taking an awful lot of time to find a story.

"I can't find a story..." Blake exclaimed, more to herself than her group.

At this Garcia furrowed her brows in confusion. "Say what? There's like thousands of them."

"Not with me," Blake replied, finding the situation pretty unpleasant. "There are zero stories."

"Who did you put?" Reid asked.

"I tried one with you, Hotch, and Rossi, nothing pops up. Then I tried one with Garcia instead of Rossi and still nothing."

Seaver raised a brow. "Wow, what are the odds..." Quickly she added. "Oh and that was rhetorical Reid."

Reid lowered the finger he'd raised in preparation. "Oh, right."

"I can't believe it!" Blake snapped, getting the group's attention. She shot daggers at the screen. "Am I really that invisible to you authors? Do I not amuse you enough!?"

"Erm, Blake?" Reid called out nervously. "Are you okay?"

But the seasoned profiler was ranting by now.

"I mean sure I might not be as outgoing as Morgan or as cheerful as Garcia but, good God, I'm not a total stick in the mud. And don't even get me started on—"

"Blake!" JJ cut in, concern seeping from every pore. This finally caused said profiler to stop her rant.

Blake finally became all too aware on how she'd been rambling. "I-I'm sorry. I don't... I don't know what came over me."

Garcia leaned closer, almost as if to inspect. "Are you okay? You were acting... OOC, for lack of a better term."

"Forgive me." She said, wincing when she noticed Hotch in his protective mode. He was going to smother her now.

"Are you fit to continue?"

Obviously not," Morgan quickly stepped in. He placed his hand around her shoulder. "Why don't you have a seat Blake? I'll gladly take your turn."

Seaver rolled her eyes. "You're a sick man Derek."

Hotch almost felt offended that Morgan thought he'd buy that. "Didn't I tell you to sit?"

Morgan sighed and stomped back to his seat.

"Now," Hotch tried again. "Blake, how are you feeling?"

"I'm good," She replied. "I'll get back to it. I'll only put my name on it now and see what happens."

The Unit Chief nodded. "Very well. And you'll be joining Will and Reid in therapy once this ordeal is over. Clear?"

Seeing how it'd be pointless to argue Blake nodded. She began searching for a story again. Thankfully this time some stories actually appeared.

"Okay, here we go."

Blake's Big Discovery

Seaver chuckled. "If I didn't know any better I'd say that's something out of an animal documentary."

Blake sighed. "Go easy on me. It's the only one I could find with my character."

By HardcoreSlutchner

Hotch shook his head, already dreading what was to come.

The others meanwhile laughed. They really didn't pull any punches. Blake at least had the decency to look apologetic.

Summary: Since it's been asked for again I've decided to write up another one. This will be a Rossi and Hotch slash story.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Rossi yelled in exasperation. "What goes through the heads of these authors?"

Hotch pinched the bridge of his nose. "Blake, really?"

Blake wheeled to face them, hands up in defense. "I swear I did not know it'd be slash. I just saw the title and clicked it."

"Just get it over with."

They struggle with their feelings but eventually get together, of course. Now let us begin.

Rossi had been in his office, eyeing the pile of paperwork that just did not seem to disappear no matter how much he wrote.

"Ain't that the truth." JJ murmured to herself.

"Just give them to pretty boy," Morgan joked. "It's what I always do."

Reid glared at him. "Hey do your own paperwork."

Deep in his core he knew what the problem was, his mind just continued denying it. That's why he'd been burying his head in his paperwork nonstop. He was glad there was no case yet. Right now he didn't feel himself, and that would certainly hinder the team.

Sighing he stood up and left his desk. Perhaps some coffee would soothe him? Unfortunately that led him to looking towards a certain office.

"Here we go," Rossi groaned in annoyance. "I think I might just tune this out."

"The hell you are," Morgan retorted. "If me and Reid had to deal with slash pairing then you are not allowed to dodge it."

"Yeah," Reid agreed. "It's only fair."

His eyes landed on Hotch and he narrowed his eyes when he noticed he was still depressed. His shoulders were slumped and his eyes were distant. To someone who didn't know Hotch for as long as he had they probably wouldn't have noticed.

Hotch had been like that for about two weeks now. Ever since he broke up with Beth. (A/N spoiler alert)

Garcia frowned. "Who puts a spoiler alert after giving a spoiler?"

"You've got to wonder what they mean by spoiler alert," Kevin added.

He hated seeing Aaron like that. But there was nothing he could do. The team had all agreed to give him his space.

Maybe he could invite him to his house for dinner or something?

"Where is my character!?" Blake abruptly shouted, scaring the others

"Could you be any more obvious?"

Rossi turned to see JJ staring at him. He mentally punched himself for being caught staring. "What?"

"I'm a profiler Rossi. Plus I'm your friend. You can't really hide anything from me."

Rossi looked away. "Sorry, I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about."

JJ shook her head at his stubbornness. "Fine, whatever you say Rossi. A bit of advice, don't hold back. Do what you really want to do." If there was something being with Will taught her it was to take your chances, as well as some risks.

"Good to see us actually paired together, while remaining in character." JJ exclaimed. "Don't you agree Will?"

"Course I do," He grinned while raising his palm. "High five sweetheart."

"I'll consider it." Rossi said, genuinely contemplating the advice. Later that day he found himself knocking on Hotch's office.

"Come in."

Rossi exhaled briefly before stepping in. "Hey."

"Seriously, where is my character?"

"Hey. Did you need something Dave?"

"Can I be blunt with you?"

Hotch stared at him in confusion. "You're not going to quit are you?"

Emily laughed lightly. "Okay that one was pretty funny."

Rossi's nerves managed to move enough for his laughter to kick in. "Wouldn't dream of it."

"Good," Hotch said. "I need you."

Rossi's heart fluttered.

Rossi groaned at his depiction. "I think I'm going to hurl."

But he maintained his composure. "Good to know." He scratched his head nervously. "Look uh, Aaron, I wanted to know if you'd... possibly, maybe, um—

"You sound like Reid man." Morgan said.

Rossi scoffed. "The day you see me stutter and beat around the bush pigs will be soaring in the air."

like to..." He trailed off, hating how much he sounded exactly like a teenager. This was looking like a Reid—

"Aaahh!"

"For some reason it feels like years since we've heard Reid shouting." Emily stated.

"That's because it—"

"Will, if you're about to tell me that it's because it has been years, I'm going to punch you right in the stomach."

confession not a Rossi one. He had to pull it together and man up already. JJ's words rung in his head then.

"Dave is something wrong? You know you can tell anything."

"Have dinner with me!" He finally blurted out.

"So like, are we going to see Blake or not?" Garcia wondered aloud.

"Million dollar question." She replied.

"Watch her pop up in the end with like one line." Kevin joked.

Hotch was stunned into silence.

Rossi grew more and more nervous as the seconds wore on. Shit. Had he ruin this relationship for good? But just when he thought he couldn't be surprised anymore, Hotch broke the silence.

"Sure."

"What? R-Really?"

He laughed. "I said yes didn't I?"

Rossi was beyond delighted. "It's a date then!"

"A date it is."

"Why is it that when it's slash with me and Reid we're all over each other, but when it's someone else it's all tamed and actually decently written?" Morgan said with crossed arms. Obviously he wasn't pleased.

Rossi smirked. "Take out the summary and you can almost say this story isn't slash."

"You can't do that!" Reid argued. "The author said it's slash so it's slash. You can't just leave out a summary." He refused to give Rossi an out on slash; he wasn't given one so therefore no one should.

Rossi stepped out the office with a satisfied smile plastered on his face.

Little did they know someone had accidentally overheard the last bit.

Blake narrowed her eyes slightly. "You can't be serious."

Outside, file on hand, flabbergasted, and wondering if her ears weren't playing tricks on her, was Alex Blake.

"Did I really just hear all that?"

AN - Alright folks that was my first chapter! I plan on making more chapters so stick around. This story is far from done!

"Was that it?" Blake said, more to herself than asking the others. "I had one sentence worth of speech? Saved for the absolute bottom of the story?"

Kevin laughed. "Hah, what did I tell you guys?"

Morgan was equally frustrated as Blake. Although his anger was due to Rossi escaping slash. "There's gotta be another chapter!"

The last remaining hope in Blake was shattered when she checked. "It hasn't been updated in years."

This baffled Garcia. "Who'd make a story and never update it?"

Without another word Blake stepped off the chair and slumped down in the emo corner.

Hotch eyed his agent, who looked pretty affected by her lack of involvement, with sympathetic eyes. Truth was he was delighted the slash was kept to a bare minimum, but he was hoping his agent would at least have some joy from the story. Sort of like the way Will did.

He sighed heavily. When was this day going to end?


Author's Notes

There are some really good Blake stories I've read, sadly there aren't enough. And you'll fine zero if you put in specific characters with her. Seriously, look it up.

Oh and to answer Hotch's question, the answer is never! You're stuck in my endless FF twilight zone. Muahahahah!