Chapter 15
AN: Thank you for the incredible response to the last chapter. I really hope you like this one too.
March 9th 2021
After an incredible night, one she has believed for a long time would never happen, Alex walks up, and the first thing she realizes is that Olivia's arm is around her. Looking over she sees Olivia, who is awake, and smiling at her.
"Hi," Alex says.
"Morning," Olivia greats, leaning down and kissing her. "Last night was incredible," Olivia admits.
"It really was," Alex admits, once they break apart. "Olivia, I have loved you for years, and years, I was always just to scared to admit it," Alex says, wanting to make that clear as she and Olivia didn't do a whole lot of talking the night before.
"I've felt the same," Olivia admits. "Alex, I'm so happy. I love you; I've wanted to be with you for so long," Olivia explains.
"That's what I want too," Alex admits. "If we're going to do this, if we're going to be together, I'm in, I'm all in," Alex says, as she knows that now she and Olivia have admitted how they feel that she doesn't want to screw it up. "I know Noah's your priority, so whatever pace you want to go at, that's okay with me," Alex tells Olivia.
"Alex, I'm all in too. I wouldn't have come over last night if I wasn't," Olivia admits. "I know this, us, effects Noah and Antonio, and I know we'll figure that out," Olivia reveals, as even though Antonio is an adult, she knows that it will affect him too.
"Full disclosure, Antonio knows about my feelings, he's apparently known since the program; he's actually been encouraging me to tell you," Alex explains, and Olivia can't help but smile.
"Noah's been telling me the same," Olivia explains.
"Wow," Alex says amused. "We should really get better at listening to those who know us," Alex admits.
"Yeah, I guess we should," Olivia says, before kissing Alex, pulling her close, but before they can do more than kiss Alex's phone goes off. As they both know the importance of Alex's work they break apart, and Alex finds her glasses the checks her phone.
"Work?" Olivia asks, as that's what she assumes.
"Antonio," Alex answers. "He's with Liz and Richard, asking if I'm still bringing breakfast by," Alex explains, and as she does, she looks to Olivia and sees the look on Olivia's face, because she knows Olivia so well Alex knows exactly what she is thinking. "Liv, no, don't go there," Alex tells her.
"I feel so happy right now, but how can I be so happy when the Stabler's are going through hell?" Olivia asks, feeling guilty for being so happy.
"Liv just because they're going through hell doesn't mean you can't be happy," Alex tells her. "You deserve happiness, you deserve love. You have no reason to feel guilty," Alex says, and once she does Olivia once leans down and kisses her.
"I love you," Olivia tells her.
"I love you too," Alex responds. "I have to get up," Alex admits, even though she would very much like to stay in bed with Olivia.
"I know, I do too," Olivia admits. "I have to go see Noah, and check in on Elliot, and go to the station," Olivia reveals. "But would you like to get coffee later?" Olivia asks.
"Yeah, I would," Alex responds, and after they exchange one more kiss both Alex and Olivia get out of bed.
After an pretty intense morning Olivia, feeling glad for the break, is walking up to Potters coffee where Alex is.
"Hey," Olivia says, walking straight up to Alex and once she is close enough the two of theme hug and Olivia kisses Alex's cheek.
"How's your morning been?" Alex asks curious, as the two of them walk.
"Intense," Olivia admits. "I saw Elliot, gave him what I have on the case," Olivia explains. "I also caught up on the paperwork I had," Olivia admits. "What about you?" Olivia asks.
"Normal day," Alex admits.
"How were Liz and Richard when you saw them?" Olivia asks concerned.
"Still in denial," Alex admits. "They were going to Maureen's because Eli's arriving from Rome… about now," Alex says, checking her watch.
"Oh god, Eli," Olivia says horrified. "He's too young to be going though this," Olivia says.
"He really is," Alex confirms, and before she and Olivia can talk more about everything Alex's phone rings. "Rafi?" Alex asks, and she pauses why Barba speaks. "I forgot, I'll be right there," Alex says, before hanging up.
"Problem?" Olivia asks worried.
"I forgot a client meeting, I've got to go," Alex explains.
"Okay, I'll talk to you later," Olivia says, and even though it is new for them, she and Alex both exchange quick pecks before walking away from one another.
Hours later Olivia has put Noah in bed and is walking back into the living room when her phone rings. Looking at the caller ID she is extremely glad when she sees Alex on the caller id.
"Hey," Olivia greats.
"Hey," Alex greats. "How was the rest of your day?" Alex asks curious.
"Exhausting," Olivia admits.
"Do you want me to come over?" Alex asks curious.
"How soon can you get here?" Olivia asks curious, and before Alex answers there is a knock on her apartment door. As she knows exactly who that is Olivia hurries to her door and opens it revealing Alex holding a takeaway bag.
"I brought food, I wasn't sure if you had eaten," Alex admits.
"I haven't, not really," Olivia admits, though she made sure Noah has, as Alex walks into the apartment. "I'm really glad you're here," Olivia admits.
"I'm glad to be here," Alex admits, and the two of them walk over to the couch.
"Kathy's funeral's tomorrow," Olivia reveals, as they sit down. "Elliot wants me there," Olivia explains.
"Are you okay with that?" Alex asks concerned.
"I want to support them, be there for them," Olivia admits. "Are you and Antonio…." Olivia starts to ask.
"No," Alex says. "With restrictions it's not possible, but I've talked to Liz, Richard, and Kathleen, they all know I'm just a call away," Alex explains, Olivia nods in understanding and the two of them proceed to have an enjoyable dinner together, neither talking anymore about the hell the Stabler's are going through, but rather they just continue to explore their new relationship.
The following morning both Alex and Olivia wake up early, but they just continue to lay in each other's arms.
"I wish we could just stay here," Olivia admits, because she knows Alex is awake.
"Me too," Alex admits, as Olivia runs her hands through Alex's hair. "This is really nice," Alex admits.
"Yeah, it is," Olivia confirms, but before they can enjoy too much of their peace Alex's phone rings.
"Cabot," Alex answers and she listens as the other person talks. "Make them comfortable and I'll be right there, bye," Alex says, before hanging up.
"Problem?" Olivia asks.
"That was Rafi, he got to work early and found a client and their kid waiting. I've got to get to Vita Nova as soon as possible," Alex explains, trying to figure out what to do.
"Okay. I know it will be a bit big, but feel free to borrow something of mine so you don't have to go back to your apartment," Olivia says, realizing that they're going to have to start leaving things at each other's apartments as she definitely wants spending nights at each other's places to be more common, though she also knows that they have to figure out how to make that work with Noah.
"You do realize, that If I do that, Rafi going to realize exactly what happened in less than two seconds," Alex tells Olivia.
"And he'll also realize if you take too long to get to Vita Nova, or if you wear the same clothes as yesterday," Olivia reminds Alex. "Look, we both know that Barba and Fin, probably Rollins too, are going to realize what's going on right away, so I don't really see the point in hiding it from them," Olivia admits.
"Neither do I," Alex admits. "And I have to go," Alex says, giving Olivia a quick kiss before getting out of bed, heading over to Olivia's wardrobe to find something to wear.
Not long after she left Olivia's Alex arrives at Vita Nova. As he was waiting for her Barba walks over as soon as Alex walks out of the elevator.
"You're not wearing your own clothes," Barba says, and it amuses Alex that he realized that right away.
"Where are they?" Alex asks, purposely not addressing his point.
"Playroom," Barba answers. "Doesn't Liv have that jacket?" Barba asks, even though he is fairly sure he knows exactly what happened.
"Put this in my office for me, thanks," Alex says, handing Barba her bag, before heading straight to the playground.
"About damn time," Barba says to himself as he watches Alex go, feeling very glad.
Hours later Olivia, who has spent the morning with the Stabler's at Kathy's funeral, is arriving at the Vita Nova offices. As she was able to have a quick conversation with Kathleen before leaving Olivia knows that after a family meal Liz and Dickie are going to Antonio's apartment.
As it has been habit Barba looks over to the elevator when he hears it beep, seeing Olivia walk out Barba gets up and walks over to her.
"Hey Liv," Barba greats. "How you doing?" Barba asks, walking over to her.
"Not great," Olivia admits. "I just watched Eli Stabler completely fall apart as his mothers coffin was lowered into the ground," Olivia explains.
"I'm sorry, that must have been incredibly difficult," Barba says.
"It was," Olivia confirms.
"How's Liz? How's Richard? How's Kathleen?" Barba asks as he has spent time with all three of them, and is concerned.
"They're as okay as they can be," Olivia admits.
"Which means they're not okay," Barba says, sounding concerned, feeling the need to so something, but he isn't sure what.
"Yeah," Olivia confirms. "Is Alex here?" Olivia asks curious.
"Not right now, but she should be back any minute," Barba says, knowing that Alex is on her way back from handling something, and Olivia nods. "So, anything you want to tell me?" Barba asks curious.
"About what?" Olivia asks curious, even though she knows exactly what he is asking about.
"Oh, come on, Liv," Barba says amused. "I'm not an idiot. Lex arrived at work today in clothes that I am ninety percent are yours, and there's only one reason I can think why that would happen," Barba comments.
"You have to get your mind out of the gutter," Olivia tells Barba.
"Are you seriously saying that nothing's happened? That you're not together now?" Barba asks curious as the elevator opens and Alex walks out.
"I didn't say that," Olivia says, before walking over to Alex,
"Oh come on!" Barba says, feeling annoyed at his two closest friends.
"What's that about?" Alex asks Olivia, sounding amused.
"I'm realizing how much fun it is messing with Barba now that we don't have to keep things professional," Olivia explains, as they walk towards Alex's office, as she and Barba have always been close and so much of their dynamic was annoying each other or, 'driving each other crazy,' as Barba's mother described it, and she has missed that.
"Didn't you do that when you were working anyway?" Alex asks curious, as she has heard a lot from Barba about his time working with Olivia.
"Yeah, but it's more fun now," Olivia admits, causing Alex to laugh, as they walk into Alex's office and close the door and blinds.
"How are you doing?" Alex asks Olivia concerned.
"Not great," Olivia admits, and in response Alex just hugs her, wanting to do something to help her.
"I've got you," Alex says, as she kisses Olivia's cheek, as Olivia relaxes into her.
The next morning, Alex, who didn't spend the night before with Olivia, and Barba are in the bullpen of Vita Nova.
"Okay, are you caught up on Russel and Ramez?" Alex asks Barba.
"Yep," Barba confirms.
"Good. I'm caught up on Tavon and Williams," Alex says, using her tablet to look at the file management system. "That will cover us for the next couple of days," Alex explains. "I told Liz to take as much time as she needs, so we'll probably have to figure out how to address the other pending matters in a few days," Alex tells Barba.
"Sounds good," Barba admits. "Lex, we need to support Liz. We need to be there for her, whatever we need," Barba tells Alex. "You and I know what it's like to lose a parent when the relationship isn't good, from what I know Kathy was a great Mom, and she and Liz got along well; Liz must be destroyed right now," Barba says, feeling bad for the young women.
"Last I talked to her, it was clear she was struggling," Alex says, clearly concerned, and before Barba can say anything in response both Alex and Barba hear the sound of the elevator open, and to their shock Liz walks out.
"Then why has she come to work?" Barba asks, clearly concerned.
"I don't know," Alex admits.
"Morning Alex, Rafael," Liz greats as she walks towards them.
"Liz, I told you to take some time off," Alex says.
"I don't need time off," Liz counters.
"Liz, you're grieving. Lexie and I both know what grief can do to you, you need to take the time to deal with that," Barba explains to Liz.
"What I need is to work," Liz admits, then sighs. "Look, I appreciate that you're both worried about me, but I want to work, I need to work," Liz explains, looking between Alex and Barba, feeling incredibly glad to have them both in her life, but at the same time she really doesn't want them to prevent her from working.
"Liz…" Alex starts to say.
"Please, Alex, I need a distraction, I need to be away from my family," Liz explains, practically begging.
"What's going on, Liz?" Barba asks concerned, as he noticed her words.
"What's going on is mom's dead, Dad's a mess, I don't know how to talk to Eli, Kathleen's overcompensating by trying to help everyone, Dickie, who likes me needs space, is out with Antonio, Maureen's trying to be mom, I needed to get away. I want to be here, not there," Liz explains. "Please Alex, let me work," Liz requests, and as she does Alex and Barba exchange looks.
"Okay, you can work," Alex tells her. "But no client contact, okay, just for a few days," Alex explains. "I don't want you to be overwhelmed," Alex explains.
"Okay, thanks Alex," Liz says, being relieved about the chance to work even with restrictions.
"But if it gets too much, or if you want to go home, or just need time, tell us," Alex explains.
"I will," Liz says.
"Lex means that, Liz. You've got to look after yourself, you don't know when everything you're avoiding feeling is going to hit you," Barba explains to Liz.
"I know, I will," Liz says, as Alex's phone starts to ring.
"Rafi, fill Liz in on what's we've got going on at the moment," Alex says, heading towards her office, feeling unsure if letting Liz back at work is a good idea, but it is clearly what Liz needs. "Hey, how's your morning going?" Alex asks, as she walks into her office.
"Okay, how about you?" Olivia asks curious.
"Liz came to work, even though I gave her time off. I'm debating if I've made the right decision by letting her stay," Alex admits.
"Ally, her moms just died," Olivia reminds her.
"I know, and I don't know if it's a good idea, but Liz explained why she needs to work, and honestly I get it," Alex admits. "Rafi and I are going to keep an eye on her, and I said no client contact," Alex explains. "If she crashes, or starts to spiral, we're going to be here for her," Alex explains.
"I know. I know you and Rafa, know you both care, but I'm still worried about, Liz," Olivia admits.
"So am I, Liv, so am I," Alex admits.
A little while after Alex talked to Olivia Barba has gone to get coffee and so Alex heads back out to the bullpen and walks over to Liz's desk, and leans against her.
"Hey," Alex says, and Liz looks up at her. "How you doing?" Alex asks.
"I don't know," Liz admits. "I haven't seen my mom regularly since I was a teenager, but I always knew that if I needed anything I could just call," Liz explains. "It doesn't feel real that I can't do that anymore," Liz admits.
"Yeah, that never really goes away," Alex admits, while she didn't have a great relationship with her mother her relationship with her father was a little better, and there are so many times where she has wanted to call him.
"Alex, I graduate Law School soon and she's not going to be here to see it," Liz says, tears coming to her eyes, and Alex hugs her.
"I know it doesn't make things easier but have to know that she'd be so proud of you," Alex assures her, continuing to hug Liz as she clearly doesn't want to let go.
"I'm scared for Eli," Liz admits, looking up at her. "He's never seen Dad like this, the rest of us know how to handle him like this, but Eli, Eli's just a kid. He's lived a happy life in Italy; he never got the bad; the fear like we did," Liz admits, as she finally pushes away from Alex.
"But he does have all of you," Alex reminds Liz. "He has you, and Richard, and Kathleen, Maureen, Carl, and he has Liv, and me," Alex says, knowing that without a doubt, even though she and Olivia have not talked about it, and she also knows Barba will do everything he can to be there for them. "And no matter how far from okay he is right now your dad loves you and your siblings more than anything in the world," Alex explains.
"What if that's not enough?" Liz asks, worried.
"It will be," Alex says, and the two of them drift into silence.
(Line break)
Hours after Alex talked to Liz about how Liz is doing Alex has packed up her office for the day and is heading out into the main area of the bullpen.
"You're heading out? Isn't it a little early?" Barba teases.
"Go home, Liz, or to wherever Antonio and Richard are," Alex says to Liz, purposely ignoring Barba.
"I will soon, I just want to finish this," Liz explains.
"Okay, Rafi, hold her to that for me," Alex requests, looking over at him.
"Sure, say hi to Liv for me," Barba says, the smirk perfectly clear on his face and in his voice, and Liz wonders if that means what she suspects it means.
"Goodnight you two," Alex says, heading out.
Not long after she left Vita Nova Alex arrives at SVU. As usual Alex gets into the squad room without a problem, and just as she walks into the squad room she sees Fin and Rollins walking out of the media room.
"Fin, Detective Rollins," Alex says, walking towards them.
"Alex," Fin greats, looking glad to see her.
"Counsellor," Rollins responds. "What brings you here?" Rollins asks curious.
"An invitation," Alex says, walking past Rollins and Fin, and heading to Olivia's office.
"Do you think they've finally admitted their feelings?" Rollins asks Fin in a quiet voice.
"Not sure," Fin says, as he knows Alex and Olivia extremely well, but even he isn't completely sure if either would have admitted their feelings.
When she gets to Olivia's office Alex knocks on the doorframe and Olivia looks up from her laptop, the second she sees Alex Olivia smiles.
"Hey," Olivia greats, sounding glad. "What are you doing here?" Olivia asks curious, as Alex walks into the office, closing the door behind her.
"If you're not working something I was thinking we could get some take out, go to your place, have dinner you, me, and Noah," Alex suggests.
"That sounds perfect," Olivia admits, closing her laptop. "How Liz's doing?" Olivia asks curious.
"Struggling, she's hurting, still in disbelief," Alex explains as Olivia starts to pack up her stuff. "She's also worried about Eli, and Elliot," Alex explains.
"She's not alone in that," Olivia admits.
"I told Liz that we're both there for her, and her siblings," Alex explains, as Olivia stands up.
"Of course, we are," Olivia says. "Do you think allowing her to work was a good idea?" Olivia asks curious.
"I think right now it's what Liz needs," Alex admits, as Olivia walks over to her.
"So, what are you thinking for dinner?" Olivia asks curious, as she grabs her jacket.
"Well, there is an Italian place near your place that has just reopened that has an incredible menu with a lot of options for kids," Alex explains, as she purposely looked for a place that has good choices for kids, while Olivia puts her jacket on.
"Sounds perfect," Olivia says, and the two of them head out of her office.
"Heading out already?" Fin asks, clearly giving Alex and Olivia a teasing look.
"Yeah, I'll see you tomorrow," Olivia says, looking between Fin, Rollins, and Kat.
"Must have been some invitation," Rollins says, in a knowing tone of voice.
"Goodnight," Alex and Olivia both say as they head out of the squad room, exchanging smiles as they head to the elevator.
"So, at your office we've got Barba, at mine we've got Fin and Rollins," Olivia says as she and Alex walk into the elevator, and once they are in the elevator Olivia puts an arm around Alex.
"And neither of us would have it any other way," Alex says before kissing Olivia as the elevator doors close.
