Chapter 23
AN: So, I'm updating earlier than normal as I won't be able to update later tonight. Hope you like this chapter, I really love it.
May 4th 2021
Ten days have passed since Alex and Oliva told their sons that they are together, and while they aren't hiding their relationship their boys and Barba are still the only ones who know. Feeling a little relieved as it seems like she is going to get out of the office early, though she doesn't want to jinx it, Olivia is in her office doing the paperwork from the most recent case. As she diligently but quickly works Olivia suspects that she may actually get some extra time with Noah and Alex, when her phone rings.
"Benson," Olivia answers, without checking the call ID, as she doesn't want to give up her fantasy of getting out of the office early.
"How busy are you right now?" Barba's very familiar voice asks, without so much as a greeting.
"Barba? Why? What's going on?" Olivia asks confused, and honestly a little concerned.
"What's going on is Lex has been working a difficult, stressful matter the last couple of days and is taking it out that stress on us," Barba explains, referring to him, Antonio, Liz, and even Kathleen and Richard who have been around. "I've sent Liz and Antonio home and I'm currently hiding in the kitchen," Barba explains, causing Olivia's concern to grow, and if she weren't so concerned Olivia would give Barba a hard time about the fact that he admitted he is hiding. "Lex is pacing around the entire office, and whenever I try to help, she just gives me that death glare she is so fond of," Barba explains, sounding annoyed. "She needs you, Liv," Barba says, his voice sounding serious as it is clear how concerned he is about his best friend.
"I'll be right there," Olivia says, and she hangs up without another word. The second Olivia hangs up with Barba she quickly packs up her stuff and heads out of her office, barely saying goodbye to her squad.
A little while after Olivia left the precinct, she gets to Vita Nova. Considering what he said Olivia isn't at all surprised to find Barba waiting by the elevator.
"Where is she?" Olivia asks, the worry clear in her voice.
"Over there," Barba says, gesturing to the back of the bullpen where Alex is pacing back and forth. "Good luck," Barba says, though he suspects Olivia won't need it, as he steps into the elevator.
"Thanks," Olivia says, feeling her concern grow, as the elevator doors close and she walks over to where Alex is. "Ally?" Olivia asks concerned, once she is a little closer.
"Rafi call you?" Alex asks, without looking at Olivia, when she continues to pace back and forth, as that is what she assumes.
"He did," Olivia confirms. "Because he was concerned," Olivia says, walking closer to Alex. "Do you want to talk to me?" Olivia asks curious.
"I have a client, and she has such a faith in the law, in the system, and… I think it's going to end up destroying her," Alex admits. "I feel like I should be doing more," Alex admits as she wants to protect her client from what she is sure is going to happen, but she isn't sure how to do that.
"If there is one thing, I already know about you it's that you will already be doing everything you can," Olivia tells her. "Ally, I know you take on everything your clients are going through, but if you keep doing that it's going to destroy you," Olivia admits, feeling concerned, walking even closer to Alex.
"I don't know how to do this any other way," Alex admits. "I just want to do everything I possibly can to help," Alex explains as she fees like she needs to.
"I know, because that's who you are," Olivia says, putting her hands on Alex's shoulder. "It's why you became a lawyer, why you never forgot your privileged, but did everything in your power to use it to make things better for others who didn't have that kind of privilege," Olivia admits. "Alex, you can't take on all the injustices in the world and think it won't affect you, it's impossible," Olivia assures Alex. "But what you can do is let me, and everyone else who cares about you, look out for you when it gets too much," Olivia says and in response Alex just hugs Olivia.
For so many years, ever since she was a child and she realized that her parents didn't care Alex has looked after herself. When she and Barba became friends that's what she knew what it was like to have someone look out for her, but as she hugs Olivia Alex realizes that this is what it feels like to have another half, someone to truly share the good and the bad of life with.
May 11th 2021
A week has passed since Barba called Olivia to help with Alex, and ever since Alex has spent every single night at Olivia's apartment with her and Noah. It's Tuesday morning and Olivia is walking into the bullpen.
"Liv, Garland's in your office," Fin, who is standing with Kat, Carisi, and Rollins at his desk say.
"I know," Olivia says as she is expecting him, but rather than walking straight to her office she walks to where her squad are. "Here," Olivia says, handing each of the three detectives and the ADA a light blue envelope.
"What's this?" Kat asks curious, as Fin just tares his open.
"An invitation," Olivia reveals.
"A dinner party at Alex's? Why are you giving it out?" Fin asks, even though he suspects he knows the answer, recognizing the address.
"Because we're hosting a dinner party together," Olivia reveals, while it was Alex's idea to hand out invitations, she was completely onboard with it.
"Why? And why at Alex's apartment?" Rollins asks confused.
"Alex's place is bigger," Olivia reveals, simply. "Ken, Jaden and Alejandro are getting invites too," Olivia says to Fin, causing Rollins to realize that both Billie and Jesse are on her invite, before Olivia heads into her office.
"Okay what was that about?" Carisi asks confused, but extremely interested.
"We'll find out Saturday I guess," Kat says, though she is really interested, and unlike Fin and Rollins she doesn't even have a suspicion about what could be going on.
"Good morning Chief," Olivia says, walking into her office.
"Captain," Garland says.
"Before we get into work talk, I have something for you, your wife, and your daughter," Oliva says, handing over another invitation, leaving her with only one more which is for Lucy.
"Thank you," Garland says, taking the invitation, and he takes a seat. While Olivia is handing out invites to her squad and the chief Alex is doing the same thing with Barba, Antonio, the Stabler children, three of whom are at Vita Nova as Eli is spending the day at Vita Nova observing and helping out a little, Ken, and Alejandro.
Four days later Olivia, Antonio and Noah have arrived early at Alex's apartment for the dinner party. While Alex and Olivia are getting things set up Antonio and Noah are sitting in the couch.
"Why are Mom and Alex acting so weird?" Noah asks Antonio as even he has noticed that his mother and Alex are acting strange.
"They're nervous about telling everyone about their relationship," Antonio explains, causing Noah to pull a face.
"That doesn't make sense, there is nothing to be nervous about, everyone is going to be happy," Noah says, sounding sure about that. As the young boy speaks Antonio feels himself feeling both amazed by and happy for Noah, as he doesn't see the immediate prejudice, the fear and shame that can cause, feelings that Antonio knows both his mother and Olivia have felt for many years; honestly Antonio dreams that one day everyone would be like Noah, and not even think to consider the discrimination because it doesn't exist anymore.
"Yeah, I think everyone's going to be happy too," Antonio admits, knowing that most of the people who are coming for dinner have thought Alex and Olivia belong together for a very long time, and as he speaks there is a knock on the door. "I'll get it," Antonio calls, before getting up and heading to the door. Opening the door Antonio isn't at all surprised to find Barba on the other side.
"How's the freak-outs going?" Barba asks curious, knowing both Alex and Olivia well enough to know what would be going on.
"About as ridiculous you'd expect," Antonio admits, as he has realized that. "So, I'm glad you're here," Antonio reveals, letting Barba into the apartment. "You need to get them to chill out Rafi," Antonio says, knowing that Barba has the best chance of being able to do that, as he closes the door behind them.
"I'll do my best," Barba responds, not overly sure that even he will be able to calm Olivia and Alex down.
"Hi Uncle Rafa," Noah greats, looking happy to see him.
"Hi Noah, how are you?" Barba asks curious.
"Good," Noah answers. "Mom and Alex are acting weird," Noah tells Barba.
"So, I've heard, don't worry, I'll handle them," Barba reveals. "How about Antonio tells you about the musicals we've been too," Barba suggests, as he does have plans to take Noah to the Ballet once performances start again.
"Yes! Please Antonio!" Noah says excited and while Antonio walks back over to the couch Barba walks to the formal dining area where Alex and Olivia are.
"Are you sure that's okay? What if Eli is insulted by being near the young kids?" Olivia asks worried.
"He's also near Richard and Antonio, he'll like that," Alex responds, as she's seen that the three of them get along well.
"Are you seriously debating table arrangements?" Barba asks amused, as when Antonio says they were being ridiculous he wasn't expecting that.
"Yes," Olivia and Alex say together.
"You two are ridiculous," Barba says simply. "Everyone to dinner tonight pretty much already figured out that you two are together, so breathe, relax, and stop freaking out your sons," Barba says before heading back into the living room.
"God he's annoying," Alex says, clearly not meaning that.
"He's probably right," Olivia admits.
"Which is what makes him annoying," Alex says, causing Olivia to laugh.
"Oh yeah," Olivia confirms as there is a knock on the door.
"I'll get it Mami," Antonio calls and he heads to the front door. "Hey, come in," Antonio says, letting Maureen, her husband Carl, Kathleen, Liz, Dickie, and Eli into the apartment. For the next fifteen minutes or so Fin, Rollins, Lucy, Carisi, Kat, Garland and their families all arrive for dinner. Quiet quickly Noah, Jesse, Billie, Jaden, Garland's daughter Abby, and even Eli, are all having fun together.
"So, you gonna finally tell us why we are here?" Fin asks curious. While he has a suspicion about what is going on he would very much like it to be confirmed.
"Don't you have patients?" Phoebe asks her fiancé amused, though her tone is loving.
"Not about this," Fin responds, causing both Alex and Olivia to roll their eyes.
"As you all probably guessed, there is a reason for this diner," Olivia reveals.
"As Noah, Antonio and Rafi already know, Liv and I do have news," Alex explains, as she puts her am around Olivia.
"After twenty years Alex and I have finally admitted our feelings for each other," Olivia reveals. "Alex is the love of my life and I'm beyond glad to tell all of you that we're together," Olivia explains.
"As am I," Alex adds.
"It's about damn time!" Fin exclaims, causing everyone to laugh, and before either Olivia or Alex can react both Liz and Kathleen run forward and hug them.
"Congratulations," Liz says.
"I'm so happy for you," Kathleen says to Olivia.
"Thank you," Both Alex and Olivia say.
"Congrats," Rollins says with a smile, feeling happy for her boss and friend as she knows how much this will mean to Olivia.
"I wish you both all the happiness," Garland says.
"I'm really happy for both of you," Ken says, as he has known for a long time how Olivia and Alex feel about each other he was just waiting for them to admit their feelings.
"Captain, I had no idea, I'm really happy for you," Kat says, feeling amazed as a bi woman it means a lot to know that she has a boss who is also apart of the community.
"You're the only one who had no idea," Maureen says as she remembers watching Alex and Olivia together when she was a teenager, and even back then she realized what was going on.
"Yeah, no kidding, I wonder if I can collect on the old pool," Fin comments, looking like he is pondering something.
"What old pool?" Dickie asks curious, really loving the fact that he is now apart of all the 'adult' things that were kept from him as a kid.
"Back in the day we had a pool going about whether Liv and Alex would admit their feelings," Fin explains.
"Just who was involved in that pool?" Olivia asks curious, though she can guess.
"Me, Munch, Elliot, Warner, Huang, Cragen, Liz Donnelly and I think she may have even gotten some of the old judges involved," Fin explains, and while Olivia and Alex were expecting some of those names there are certainly some shocks in Fin's words.
"Wow," Carisi says, amused.
"So much for being subtle," Alex says, exchanging amused looks with Olivia.
"Trust me, you were a lot of things, subtle wasn't even on the list," Fin reveals.
"So true," Barba confirms.
"I'd like to raise a toast, to Mami and Liv; you deserve all the happiness and love in the world," Antonio says, raising the glass he is holding.
"To Liv and Alex," Everyone except for Barba who says, "to Liv and Lex," say as they all toast.
After toasting Olivia and Alex everyone proceeds to have an very enjoyable dinner together, and it is clear that everyone is happy and excited for Olivia and Alex.
Hours after Alex and Olivia shared their news most of their guests have left but while they are packing things up in the kitchen Noah, Antonio, Barba, and Richard are in the living room and it is clear that Noah is very much enjoying spending time with Antonio, Dickie and Barba.
"Is something going on with Richard and Antonio? Are they together?" Olivia asks Alex curious, as she looks to where the boy are, as she has been wondering that for a while.
"Honestly, I think they're where we were twenty years ago," Alex admits.
"Ah," Olivia says in understanding. "I hope it doesn't take them as long as it took us," Olivia admits.
"Me too," Alex says, as she wants her son to be happy and loved, and she believes that he will be with Dickie. "We missed so much," Alex says, as she has been thinking about that lately.
"We did," Olivia confirms, walking closer to Alex. "But everything we went through brought us to now, to being together now; in positions where we both know what we want and value so much," Olivia says. "Alex do you really think, considering the people we were back then and the climate, that we would have made it if we admitted what we felt all those years ago?" Olivia asks.
"I don't know," Alex admits. "I like to think we would have, but I don't know," Alex admits. "He denied it, but we all knew that Branch fired Serena for being an out and proud lesbian," Alex reveals. "So, I don't know, I don't know if we could have survived being together back then," Alex admits.
"When Kat mentioned, so casually, that she dated both men and women, while at work… I was jealous," Olivia admits.
"Why?" Alex asks in a gentle voice.
"Because that was something I never even considered to be a possibility," Olivia admits. "I knew who I was, that I could see myself loving someone because of who they were and not their gender, since high school, Rebecca Hendrix and I were in a relationship at the academy, but from the second I was put on the beat I hid that, hid myself. I never thought I could be honest, I buried it soo deep that sometimes I even believed I was straight," Olivia reveals, knowing that some of her sessions with Doctor Lindstrom helped her with those feelings. "So, when I met Kat and saw how honest and open she was, without fear of retaliation, I was so happy that things had changed so much, but so jealous," Olivia admits. "I'm not proud of that," Olivia admits.
"Liv, it's okay," Alex tells her. "I don't remember a time where I didn't know I was a lesbian, but I also don't remember a time where I didn't know the consequences of that," Alex admits. "My dad wanted a son, an Alexander Jr, he got me," Alex reveals. "And my mom wanted a high society princess; I was a disappointment to them both," Alex explains.
"Ally…." Olivia starts to say.
"It's okay," Alex says, shrugging it off. "In high school I dated girls, but I hid it," Alex tells Olivia. "When I got to Harvard, I decided I wasn't going to do that anymore, but I was still terrified," Alex admits. "It was actually Rafi who gave me the confidence to just be," Alex admits as she saw how Barba was unapologetically himself, without hesitation, even around all the people they were around, and it inspired her. "But it did cost a lot," Alex reveals. "I never hid who I was Liv, you know that, but I wasn't open, Serena actually called me out on that more than once," Alex reminds Olivia, saying nothing Olivia did not know. "I don't think any good will come from us wondering what could have happened back then," Alex admits. "Maybe we could have made it, maybe not, but what I do know is that I love you so much," Alex reveals. "We are happy now, Liv; we have our life together, and that's a lot better than wondering what if," Alex says to her girlfriend.
"Yeah, I guess it is," Olivia says, walking even closer to Alex, and the two of them kiss, both feeling incredibly happy.
Once Alex and Olivia break apart the two of them head back into the living room where they spend a while enjoying their time with Barba, Noah, Antonio, and Richard. As she spends time with the people who mean so much to her Olivia can't help but be reminded of her and Alex in the way Richard and Antonio interact.
