A/N: this was supposed to be for the oq update month, but... sorry I'm late :) it's a season 7 au, with my own cursed characters! hope you'll like it!


Of the Time (When I've Been Loved)

.

One day, the curse pours black and red from her fingers, a cloud engulfs reality, and she's not Regina anymore.

She's Roni.

She wakes every morning in a crappy apartment above her pub and pours herself coffee, more often than not adds a generous dose of whiskey, and pushes up worn-out jeans and boots, and life's easy enough to make her believe she's Roni.

Roni is tired, depressed, drinks too much and earns too little, but Roni is also happy, in a way. And that way is called Jo.

Jo is her weekly sunshine – when she gets to see her, from Monday 9am to Tuesday 8pm, when she spends two blessed, all-too-short days with her and takes her for ice cream and to the movies. Jo is ten now, and she's everything nice in Roni's life, and of course also the reason why she can't leave Hyperion Heights and start over somewhere else.

Jo – short for Josephine – is her daughter, the reason she gets up in the morning, and the reason she dreads those Tuesday evenings, because then she has to meet him.

Her daughter's father is – was – the supposed love of her life, or old-flame-went wrong, and she hates him with a passion that's completely reciprocated, old grudges and evergreen fights, because he's rich and prissy and likes to have things done his way – namely, he didn't like it when Roni got two days out of seven in Jo's week, because he wanted full custody, but that's it. That's what's happened, and now they're stuck in a weekly circle of repressed rage and fake smiles.

.

Christopher Wood is quite possibly the most infuriating man she's ever met. She still has memories, old and worn and battered like a yellow photograph from decades ago, memories of him and her when she was pregnant and painting Jo's room in yellow, vases of sunflowers and they must have had a cat.

The memories have faded, and she isn't even sure they're really hers.

Chris is rich and has a nice house near-ish her neighborhood – to be honest, he's in the closest one, where there aren't as many drug dealers and petty thieves. She takes the bus every Monday, a short ride towards the rich part of their corner of town, and picks up Jo from school, it's actually been some time since she's entered his house. There's a garden around, a tall tree with a swing and a tree house, and when she meets him, Chris is always dressed up for work, with those deep-blue suits and ties which bring out the blue of his eyes.

He gives Jo a kiss on her cheek from afar and tells her, Be good for your mother, sends her towards Roni with a smile that suggests he's actually heartbroken to see his daughter go – as if he didn't see her for the most part of a week. Moron.

Roni used to have a better job, once upon a time. She used to live there in that house, she used to own books and to play piano and yes, she had a passion for guitars and leather jackets but she straightened her hair and wore high heels.

And that's all faded when she kicked herself out of the perfect life, because her marriage was hell.

Thankfully, he'd paid for the divorce. There have been weeks of rage and screams, when he came to look for her at the pub she'd just started to run (sucking up on her savings because there was no way she was going to ask him for money) and she slept in the store room for six months until she could afford the tiny apartment upstairs.

Fuck him, honestly.

Roni's life is simple. Jo, and vodka, a guitar and sore feet, and blue eyes twice a week.

.

Life becomes complicated once Henry Mills gets in town.

And she likes him, she does. He's a good friend. He's easy to talk to, he knows how it feels to be an outcast, to be lonely.

But with Henry Mills she gets a whole new lot of new problems and craziness in her life, craziness she didn't need in the slightest, because there's a kid who's blabbering about Roni being her grandma, Henry pining after Jacinda, and the Belfrey family starts plotting their evil schemes to roil her routine, the police station asks questions, her pub fills with whispered theories and she gets headaches every day.

Chris isn't happy.

He hears of the bubbling noises in Hyperion Heights – with that annoying way rich people have to hear about troubles they're not part of. He threatens to cut her time with Jo, he says her neighborhood isn't safe.

They fight a lot, in quiet tones behind a corner. He stands out, there, in a dirty alley with smelly trashcans and graffiti-covered walls, he basically is a walking neon sign screaming I'm rich, please rob me, Roni slumps her hands in her pockets and listens to him rambling about safety and gentrification, and wants to slap him.

They haven't kissed in years.

When he hands her a heap of cash, saying You must be in need of money these days, she wants to yell at him because she doesn't need his pity money or his stupid opinions. She takes it anyway.

"I can't believe there was a time when I used to love you," she spits, turning on her heels and going away before he can answer.

.

Jo gets a stomach bug on a Tuesday afternoon, and Roni spends the day holding her long brown hair up as she throws up, massages her back and whispers soothing things, her heart bleeding because although she isn't happy her daughter is unwell, she wishes to be there for her – more than she currently does.

Roni texts Chris on her way down to the pub, tells him Jo is asleep on her bed and she can't go home, but he's not thrilled. He just sends a short string, On my way, so she curses and gets outside, waits for his stupid Audi to pull over and walks to him, fuming. "You can't park here, you idiot," she hisses, gets in the car, much to his surprise. "Drive."

He obeys, Roni taps with her fingers on her jeans and thinks of a place nearby – Jason's her friend, owes her one and he'll let him park inside the new condo's space, where equally luxurious cars are already settled.

They walk in silence to the pub, she bites her lips multiple times, because she can't believe he'd be so stupid to come with a fucking Audi to her corner of the world, stupid and naïve as he is.

He feels so out of place in her pub – he's too elegant, too clean and tidy, and she an impromptu wave of rage as she leads him up the stairs to her apartment. There is no judgment in his eyes, but she can basically hear him thinking, How low you've fallen, her grip on the door handle is tight and she leads him in.

"She's asleep, don't make noise," she warns, walking to her room, he watches their daughter and breathes out his relief. It hurts. He still doesn't trust her with Jo, that much is clear.

"What did she eat yesterday?" he suddenly says, accusing. Roni looks at him and closes silently the door. "I know how to feed my daughter, thank you so much," she hisses. "I don't know why you got here in the first place, I can take care of her."

"Doesn't your shift start in half an hour?" he arches his eyebrow, and shit, he's right. He's right and she actually can't take care of her, that's why they have this weird custody arrangement, where she has to work on Saturday and Sunday and so she closes the pub on Monday and doesn't have to get in until past 8pm on Tuesday.

"I hate it when you're right," Roni tells him. "I don't suppose you will stay to watch her?"

"That's why I'm here, dear," he mocks her, and it shouldn't, but that term does things to her, hurts in all the right places, once upon a time he called her dear without this undercurrent of venom.

"Right. Well, if you need anything… come downstairs and ask," Roni takes the keys of the pub's store room and turns, watching him so out of context in her kitchen. "And Chris?"

"Yes?"

"…Nothing," she stops herself before she can say something wrong, or hurtful, because they really don't need it, not now.

She comes back at 2am to him snuggled up to Jo, a failed attempt at fried eggs in a dirty pan, and she doesn't have the heart to wake him up.

.

Roni doesn't have much money.

She does have savings – always had, but she generally is careful with her savings. Walks, or takes the bus, or asks someone for a lift. Jo doesn't care – she has her dad for her basic needs, and to be spoiled a little, and she tells her no, mom, it's okay, I can buy lunch.

Which… is not a sentence any kid should tell their mother.

Roni wakes up with a wet pillow but says nothing, because her reality is better than her nightmares.

She's always been full of creativity; but her nightmares really are something else. There, she has a different name, and Chris has a different name, which she doesn't remember, and Jo is a baby and she cries when she gives birth to Jo. There, she almost dies, in flames, and once because someone stabbed her stomach, once during a shipwreck and then there's a man who throws himself ahead and dies, and Roni wakes up screaming.

Those days have her snappier, maybe more rude, but she can't she can't can't take any more pills to sleep, because pills give her addiction, and she can't fall into that rabbit hole again –

"Roni," she hears, a voice she hasn't heard in years, the glass she was carrying falls and shatters on the floor. She turns. "You look well."

"What are you doing here?" she stares, disbelieving. "I…"

"It's a pleasure to see you as well," he says, his voice caresses her in hidden places and she revels in it. "I was hoping we could talk."

"Of… course, yes," she nods to a bartender, so he'll cover for her, as she motions for the man to follow her to the store room. Once they're alone, the door closes. "Good to see you… Mr Samdi."

.

She goes out with him twice before she lets him fuck her. Chris has Jo and Remy has the bar, so she lets him press her up the door of his office and do inexplicable things to her – because it reignites a spark, a spark she thought she'd lost between the incessant routine of her life and, actually, being alone.

Chris has his army of girlfriends and lovers coming and going from that house, all of them pretty and polite with Jo, at least there's that, and Chris is – has become – a man who doesn't like commitment. Probably cheats on half of them with the other half. So what's wrong if, for once, Roni gets to have some fun?

He calls her, one night. Chris. And how fucking bold of him, to tell her she can't see Samdi, because really, he's going to go all My daughter needs stability with her? When Jo probably has had breakfast with like twenty or more women at this point? She hangs up on him, fuming with rage. She's not even in the mood to see Samdi or to do anything that isn't going to the park – if you can call that a park – and kick some rocks into the pond.

That's where Henry finds her, just there, on a bench.

"You alright, Roni?" he asks, eyeing her as if she's a geyser ready to explode.

She rolls her eyes and keeps smoking her cigarette, doesn't ask if it bothers him, because he wouldn't have come there in the first place if it did.

"No," she cuts. "My daughter's father is a jerk."

"Al…right," Henry carefully says. "I'm – "

"Don't say I'm sorry. If you care about my mental stability, don't say you're sorry. Say… that he actually is a fairytale character and that I actually love him very much and we just forgot how much we love each other." She inhales, exhales smoke. "I would rather hear that."

"Okay," Henry says, easily. "Is Lucy rubbing off on you?"

"At this point I'd take her fake stories over my very real shitty memories."

She feels she's just about to cry, and god she doesn't want to. Doesn't . Not in front of Henry, but god, it's not fair. Because there was a time when she loved Chris – she is sure of it, you don't make a baby with someone you hate, right? There was a time when she loved him.

"I agree," Henry sighs, with a weird voice. She turns, sees him staring in the distance. "You're not the only one with shitty memories."

"God, I'm sorry, Henry – "

Fuck.

She's an idiot.

He has shitty memories – and at least Roni still has Chris and Jo, at least they're alive, and Henry doesn't even have that, only two silent graves and a weird kid who tells him that his memories with his wife and kid are all a scam. God. She really is an idiot.

"I gotta go," he tells her, he doesn't sound angry, but she thinks she sees a bit of a tear on his cheek. "See you, Roni."

She wants to scream. She really can't do anything right, uh?

.

Samdi leaves town on a cold Monday morning – kisses her at the bus stop, but tells her he doesn't know when he'll be back, and presses a crumpled note with an address into her palm, telling her to call if something changes in town. She gets on the bus and watches him there, standing, and she's confused.

It's like the world has shifted, like everyone knows something she doesn't know, and she doesn't like it, not even a bit.

"Hello, Roni," Chris greets her, looking good enough to eat with his fresh shirt. "Lovely morning, isn't it? Do you want to come in for a moment?"

Roni looks at him, suspicious, because in all the years they've been apart, she's never been invited inside on Monday morning.

"Alright," she says, shrugging. Her high-heeled boots make a dull sound on the precious tiles of his garden path.

The house is always so beautiful – it exudes richness, and brightness. It's so clean and airy, she looks around in surprise as if it's the first time she sees it.

"Roni, I…" her thoughts are interrupted by her ex-husband, who looks… sheepish, so this can't be a good thing. "Jo is in a school trip today."

"What?"

"I'm sorry, I thought she told you," he looks at her, as if, as if he's actually sorry. Jerk. "But…"

"Why didn't you tell me?" she hisses, god she's this close to slapping him. "You have my number, you're supposed to communicate."

"I know," he says, has the guts to look annoyed. Him. With her. "I actually wanted to talk to you."

"Oh please, please do," she says, "please brighten my day with an unwanted conversation, I couldn't wait."

"Will you stop with the sass and listen for a minute?" he raises his voice, and she stills, looks up to him, surprised. He's always so calm and collected as he quietly ruins her life, this isn't like him at all. "Sorry," he says, rubbing his neck. "Sorry, I shouldn't have."

"You shouldn't have," she agrees. "But it's done now, so tell me what's the matter."

"We're moving," he says, blurts it all out as if he wants to end this as quickly as possible. "Jo and I. We're moving to Canada. Winnipeg."

Roni looks at him, but it's like she's entered in a parallel universe where they aren't speaking the same language. "That's… From Seattle, that's…"

"Twenty-two hours by car. I checked. Not sure how accurate it is, but… they offered me a job and I really can't refuse. And…"

"Does she know?" she says, lowly, her hands balling into fists. "Does Jo know?"

"Not yet, I wanted to speak with you first –"

"Oh thank you for your consideration, Chris," she spits. "We were supposed to have joint custody. How do I get my shitty two-days-per-week agreement, if she lives in fucking Winnipeg?"

"Roni, I'm sorry, alright? I didn't want to do this, but I can't postpone anymore. They offered me a job – a good job, and honestly, would you really pass the opportunity?"

"If it meant taking Jo from you? Yes," she tells him, averting her eyes so he doesn't see how she's about to start crying. "Alright. I'll… come visit, I'll make it work. But you owe me. You know that if I were richer and you weren't a lawyer I'd drag you in court."

"Roni…"

She doesn't let him finish but turns on her heels and walks away.

Fuck him.

.

The next time she sees Jo, they go to the park and she tells her. And finds herself hugging her daughter who's crying on the crook of her neck, and she curses Chris because he left her alone to do this, because she hates him, and because she wants to be with Jo more than anything in the world and now he's taking away the only good thing in her life.

Henry notices the shift in her mood. Her patrons start noticing too, and that's why she leaves Remy and Jacinda to the front of Roni's and she stays in the back, trying to make sense of money and finances, planning how much beer and booze to order, and other boring things that don't involve meeting her clients. Because it doesn't do well to her business, to be so grumpy and to scowl so much that even Tilly ran away a few days earlier.

And one day, Chris comes to visit.

He looks more handsome than ever, and god she could just fall for him all over again, if it weren't for that stupid little ball of rage and hatred burning in her chest.

"What do you want now?"

"This is not a mature way to face this, Roni," he says, walking into the store room completely uninvited and sitting next to her. "I wanted to apologize. I understand this must be hard for you…"

"Oh you understand," she says, looking pointedly at the wall. Tears start welling in her eyes and she tells herself not to blink, not to let him see how weak she's being. "I imagine you do. Taking away my daughter for me just because you don't like the neighborhood. Very mature, Chris, congratulations."

"It's not the neighborhood," he reasons, ever so calm. "It's… different. I'm doing what's best for Jo, and that's what we vowed at our wedding, is it not? That the children would always come first?"

"Children? We only have her," she says, throwing him a glance.

"Goddammit, Roni! If you can't see how this is killing me – how I'd do anything to stay, how…"

"Then stay!" she all but yells, uncaring of who could hear, "if it's killing you, stay! It's as simple as that!"

"I can't," he murmurs, his head bowing down. He sounds… defeated. Sad. "I know you hate me for this. But maybe… maybe one day you'll understand. I want you to understand." His eyes rise to meet hers, and he takes her hand. He squeezes, and then she can't help it, and a lonely tear rolls down her cheek. "I… still care for you, but… I don't love you anymore. And I love Jo, you love Jo as well, and that's what we have and we must protect."

"Protect from what?" she whispers, because there's something he's not telling her, she just knows. But he shakes his head, and it's almost like he's crying, because he leaves her hand and gets up.

"I'm so sorry, Roni – I wish there was a way to solve this. Without anyone getting hurt."

And then he's gone.

From the pub, she hears a glass shatter.

.

She's been back at the counter since a couple of days when Lucy gets in, and Roni doesn't have the heart to repeat to the little girl that this place is not for kids. So she sighs and makes her a milkshake. "Hello, Lucy."

"Hi Roni," she chirps, happy as ever. "So I got another theory and I wanted to speak to you."

"This… is not a great time," she says in all earnestness. "I'm…"

"Please! It's really really important," Lucy says, with puppy eyes that look so familiar. "It's about your daughter."

"You mean the same daughter who's about to leave town to go live twenty hours away? The very same one?"

"I'm sorry about that," Lucy answers. "But I think I know who she is. You know, from Henry's book."

"Oh, Lucy. I'm sorry, but you have got to let this go," she says, turning to take a wet glass and starting to dry it, so that Lucy won't see her on the edge of a breakdown. "Just… can you leave me alone, please?"

She hears a sigh and the clatter of glass on the counter, she waits a dozen of seconds and when she turns, Lucy is gone. Her heart squeezes when she thinks she has disappointed yet another person who cares about her.

.

The day comes, and she goes to Chris' house to say goodbye. She mentally prepped herself for hours, but it does no good as Jo runs down the couple of steps outside the door and right into her arms. Chris is there, on the threshold, his face grave and serious, and she wants to punch him.

"Jo, we're leaving in five minutes. Say hello to your mother, come on."

Her daughter shakes her head against Roni's shoulder and whispers Mom, I don't want to go. She sniffs, but tells herself to hold on, that they'll go in a minute and then she'll be free to break and cry and drink her weight in whisky.

"Just… go grab your suitcase, darling," she murmurs, squeezing her arm, and freeing herself from her hold. "I need to speak to your dad. I'll still be here when you come back, promise."

"Okay," Jo sniffs. The sadness in her voice breaks her heart all over again as she watches her drag herself up the steps and into the house.

"What a pretty family picture."

A voice comes from behind her. Roni turns, frowning when she catches sight of Victoria Belfrey.

"What are you doing here?" Chris growls, exiting the house. He reaches her, goes past Roni and stops in front of the woman. "We're leaving now. You can go home, Victoria."

"And miss this heartbreaking scene? Not a chance," she snickers. "I so hope you enjoy Canada, dear."

"You bitch," Roni says, and she reaches them, snatching her arm away from Chris' hold when he grabs her. "What have you done? Do you have anything to do with this? You paid someone in the city to fire Chris and made sure the nearest work offer was in Winnipeg?"

"I did nothing of the sort, dear," she says, seemingly offended.

"Roni…" Chris murmurs, but she doesn't listen to him.

Victoria watches them, amused. "Your darling Chris is leaving of his own will, Roni dear. And surely not because I forced someone to fire him. He decided to do this, spontaneously. I just happen to enjoy tragicomic farces like this one."

"Go home," Chris spits, Roni can feel the anger in his voice. "Go, or I'll call the cops. You got what you wanted, now leave us be."

"Alright, alright," Victoria raises her hands in surrender. "Have a safe journey, honey. And call when you get there, I wouldn't want you to experience… a change of mind."

They watch her go, stalking away on high heels, and Roni narrows her eyes, looks at him. "What did you mean with You got what you wanted?"

"Nothing," he immediately responds, so quick she knows it's a lie. "We'll go now. Goodbye, Roni," he says, squeezing her forearm. "I'll call you when we get there."

"Okay," she murmurs, still suspicious, but he doesn't turn to talk to her, doesn't say anything as he goes to the loaded car. Roni's heart bleeds as she waits for Jo, but her mind still replays that last weird exchange.

.

The call reaches her after almost two hours. For two, horrible hours she was falling into despair and missing her kid fiercely. (And Chris, missing Chris. A bit. Almost.)

But the call reaches her without warning and she almost slips out of her shower to answer, and it's bad just as she thought it would be. She grips the phone in her hand as the nurse explains the situation, and she cannot comprehend how on hell she managed to dress and catch the right bus to the hospital.

Jo is on tears, but thankfully unharmed when Roni gets there – she flies to hug her as if she hasn't seen her in days. She meets the nurse's gaze over her daughter's head and she instantly knows this is the nurse who called her with Chris' phone.

"Can I see him?"

"Not yet," the nurse answers. "My name's Angelica. Why don't you sit here with your daughter? That way I can call you as soon as he's ready."

She nods absently, still holding Jo close, and slumps down on a plastic chair. She shoots a text to Remy and Jacinda, tells them Chris was in an accident, and then waits.

.

"Miss? You can come in now. He's sleeping."

Jo runs in, but Roni hesitates. She doesn't think she'll like what she's about to see. Jo will be fine, after all. She saw him unconscious and called for help, but Roni not ready. Her hesitation goes away as soon as Jo calls for her.

"Mom, he's waking up!"

She rushes inside and sure enough, Chris is moving slowly, his eyes still closes, as Jo looks at him with all the excitement she can barely contain. She reaches her daughter near his bed, takes Chris' warm hand between hers.

"Mmm…"

"Dad? Dad, can you hear me?"

He squeezes her hand and her breath catches as he slowly peels open his eyes. His words exit in a slur, as he takes in Jo's smile, then looks at her.

"R-R'gina…"

"What?" she whispers. "What did you say?"

He blinks once or twice, and he looks so confused, so lost. She thinks he must be so full with sedatives he can't even remember her name – maybe this name he just said, this woman, she's one of these women he sees, maybe it's nothing. Maybe he's just delirious.

His eyes close again.

"Dad?"

Jo sounds so heartbroken that Roni doesn't know what to say. "Honey…" she starts, unsure. "What do you say if you go get us both a snack? I'll be here with him the whole time. And you've been so good and brave, I think you deserve a reward."

She kisses the top of Jo's head as the girl nods, uncertain. "Alright… but you'll stay with him?"

"Of course, baby."

As she exits the room, Angelica comes in. "How is he?"

"He woke up for a moment," Roni says, trying not to let her see her teary eyes. "And Jo, is she… is she okay?"

"The young lady is completely fine, she was in the backseat. Her father, though…"

"What?"

"He's got a concussion – but he was passed out when they found them. Pretty lucky, your lot. The car had some problems, at the brakes or something. Almost like something tried to stop them. Luckily, they were going slow, at a turn of the road when the brakes gave in."

"But he's going to be alright?"

"Yeah, don't worry. A few hours and you can take him home. You just got to keep him checked for a few days – he can't sleep alone, he's gonna need to be woken up every few hours."

Roni chews her lower lip, thinking. "Okay, alright… I can manage that – I… thank you."

"Call me if you need anything," Angelica smiles.

.

Chris' car is being towed back into town, so she has to call a taxi and bring them all to Roni's. She'll take care of him, but she has missed work for far too long now, and she needs to get back on track. Except that every time a customer gets in, she thinks of the man currently sleeping in her bed upstairs.

He's still weak, and confused, but the nurse told her he's going to be okay. And Jo doesn't want to leave him alone, clings to him as if this thing overly-traumatized her, and Roni can't fault her for that. Jo even hugged her before she went downstairs to work, asked if she really had to go, if she couldn't stay there instead.

But Roni has agreed to come and check on him every hour, and when she finds Jo asleep next to him, her heart swells.

She proceeds with waking him up, because it's time, and asks him the questions they taught her at the hospital, and… he's fine. Tired, maybe, but lucid. He hasn't called her Regina again, at least, and she hasn't asked about her.

She wants to stay there with him – there's something in his eyes that is just… soft.

"Come here for a moment," he invites her softly, motioning to the tiny empty space beside him. She is unsure, and he must know, because he tells her, "Jo is out like a light. Just a moment, Roni, please. Jacinda has got the bar for a while, right?"

She nods, a tight grip in her throat as she slips under the covers, curls up next to him, facing him, taking care not to jostle him. He passes an arm above her, squeezing her forearm.

"I need to make sure you're real," he murmurs, hoarse. "That I haven't lost you."

"I'm sorry," she whispers, she isn't sure about what, but she feels his cold lips press on her forehead, watches as he closes his eyes and smiles, just barely.

.

She sees Chris and Jo home after a week of weird cohabitation. And it worked quite nicely – had her heart bleed many times, because after all, she misses him. He's a dick – he has been – still is? – but she saw a slight change in his behavior lately. He's more affectionate, more… kind. He listens to her. And it's still weird, she doesn't trust him. But he managed to break her heart a little, her steel armor, and she hates it. She hates that she's looking at them crossing the threshold and the only thing she can think of is how much she'll miss them now that they're gone.

The days pass quietly. There's no other talk of Winnipeg, of Canada, and she hasn't seen Victoria in weeks.

And one day, after a month since the accident, Chris enters the bar as soon as she was about to close it. He looks frightened, and her first thought is for Jo.

"She's fine, she's with a neighbor, you know that old lady living on the other side of the road?"

"What is it, Chris?"

Roni is biting tonight – but she's really tired, and cranky, and desperately needs some sleep.

"I…er, I just wanted to see you," he says. There's something in his eyes. Her heart beats faster now, for no other reason than she's annoyed, because there is – clearly – something he's not telling her. "Are you alright?"

"Why wouldn't I be?"

Roni walks past him, goes to lock the front door, and then comes back, and starts going up the stairs. When he follows, she sighs, but he has to talk, and although she's not in the mood, she'll listen.

"I'm sorry, Roni, it's just… I met Victoria and she said something, and…"

"Look, I get your point," she turns to face him, and he's reached the step right under hers, much closer than she thought. "But unless you've something really meaningful to tell me, you're welcome to take the emergency stairs and just go retrieve my daughter and…"

He grabs her wrist before she can end her sentence.

"Let's go upstairs," he murmurs. She's dumbfounded, because she has never heard him speak like this, he's usually much more snarky and annoying – "Roni, come on. Please."

That's it – she shrugs, says "If you promise you'll go, after this," and he nods, she spies something dangerously close to tears in his eyes.

When they reach her door, she fumbles with her keys. She can't understand why he looks so nervous, so jumpy as he looks behind his shoulder. When they get inside, he goes straight to her liquor cabinet – where she keeps the best stuff from the pub, and where she often goes when she needs a bit of liquid courage.

"Lock the door, Roni, please," he says. She can only see his back, but his voice is enough. She's a bit confused, stuck there, watching him pour two glasses of what appears to be whiskey and then she shakes herself and does as he asked.

She turns to find him next to the table, their glasses between them, and she nears him too, hesitant.

"Can you tell me what's wrong, now?"

"Yes," he says, takes a deep breath. Then, much to her surprise, he takes her hand. "Roni, I…"

Something stops him, and he squeezes lightly her fingers.

"Drink, please."

She frowns, because he's acting so weird all of a sudden, and she's honestly afraid.

Roni nods, slowly, her eyes never leaving his as she lifts the drink, and then gulps it down, feels his fingers lacing with hers as the liquid shots down her throat with the fury of a thousand fires –

Regina.

Her eyes widen, she slams the glass on the table – the world swirls around her, a thousand of images running through her mind and she doubles down, her palm smacking on the hard wood, she feels like she might throw up.

There's just so much.

Her eyes water, she wants to scream and cry and laugh, all together, because Henry and Lucy and Ella and –

Robin.

"Robin," she whispers, her eyes lifting up.

And he's there.

The hint of tears on his cheeks and a tentative smile on his lips, and gods, she wants to kiss him, to – and he was there, with her, all this time and she didn't – I don't love you anymore, he had said, breaking her heart, but now he beams at her.

"Regina," he says, she has missed her name, him saying her name.

Tears blur her vision as throws herself into his waiting arms. It's him, and he's always been – even when he was Chris and he hated her, and after, when –

"Who woke you up?" she asks, her voice breaking against the crook of his neck. His hand presses gently on her back, he holds her as if she were so precious, oh she has missed this.

"Gold," he answers simply. "He… wanted me to get away with Jo. And I had to, Regina, gods, our daughter…"

"I know," she murmurs, "I know, gods, I know, I'm sorry…"

"Kiss me," he interrupts, "please, Regina, we'll think about it later, we'll – "

But she shuts him up, because yes, who cares, of the curse that they can't break on their own, of Gold and of the pub and Victoria and… the only thing that matters are Robin's hands on her back and his kisses and their tears mingling, because she has waited for so long and she had forgotten what it felt like.

To be loved by him.

They part for a moment, his forehead falling against hers. "I love you," he murmurs. "I'm sorry I had to say otherwise."

"You had to," she reasons. "You…"

"I had to wake you up," he tells her. "After the accident, I… I tried, I tried to run and tell myself I'd see you again one day, but we have spent too much time apart already. It was so hard, to pretend I hated you and the only thing my heart wished for was to hold you and tell you how sorry I am for these months."

"You were cursed," she smiles. "But who knew I'd marry such an insufferable man, who kept being so perfect even when he was under sedatives."

He threads his thumb against her cheek, smiles softly as he reminds her, "Jo."

Right.

They need to get to their daughter and so Regina can hug her – for real now, not with that kind of blurred filter of the last few months. She needs to see Jo again and – make sure she's real. She has not lost her. They are together.

It's going to be alright.

He holds her for a long moment, and for the first time in what feels like forever, Regina hopes again.