Chapter 28

AN: Omg I am so sorry. I have had an insane week. This is currently the last chapter I have written, (but the next chapter is like 70% written and I know how the rest of the story is going to go) so it might be another longish break between chapters, but I'll try to get chapters out as soon as they are done; Sorry about that.


Having no idea what is going on at the old precinct Antonio, Kathleen, Liz, Dickie, Eli, Barba, Carisi, and Jet are all waiting together; all feeling terrified and desperate for news, wanting it to be good news. As they wait Carisi gets a text message which he quickly checks,

'I'm going to call in 1 minute, make sure you're alone,' he reads, the message having been from Rollins.

Assuming that it is really, really, bad news Carisi, being as subtle as possible, backs away from the others and heads into the break room, doing his best to be unnoticed. Walking into the break room, and seconds after he closes the door, Carisi's phone rings.

"Are you alone?" Rollins asks, as soon as Carisi presses answer.

"I am now," Carisi responds. "How bad?" Carisi asks, fearing the answer.

"Bad, really bad," Rollins answers. "Alex was just loaded into the ambulance, it's bad Sonny, she's barely alive," Rollins says, as while she desperately hopes, for Olivia's and Antonio's sake, that she is wrong she wouldn't be surprised if Alex didn't surprise considering her injures. "Liv's with her, Connors is dead, we're all going to head to the hospital," Rollins explains, knowing that that will be everyone but Bell and Garland as they are dealing with the full out. "I know it's not fair, but you're gonna have to tell Barba and the others," Rollins explains, honestly not wanting to be in Carisi's shoes as she knows that telling Antonio, Barba, and the others is going to be incredibly difficult as is definitely not something she wants to do.

"I will," Carisi says, as the door opens to reveal Barba. "We'll see you there," Carisi says, before hanging up.

"How bad?" Barba asks, feeling like he already knows the answer.

"Rafael…" Carisi starts to say, and while Carisi often uses his first name it tells Barba that it is horrible news that he has to tell.

"Carisi, I need to know. I need to be strong for Antonio, if what you have to share is as bad as I fear, I'm gonna fall apart, and I can't do that right now. So I need to know now so I can pull myself together and be strong for him," Barba explains and Carisi feels incredibly bad for him as he doesn't know how he would handle it if one of his sisters were in as bad shape as Alex is clearly in.

"It's bad," Carisi reveals. "Rollins said that Alex is on her way to the hospital, with Olivia, and that she is barely alive," Carisi explains. "Rollins didn't go into details, but she said more than enough," Carisi explains to Barba, who feels like he's losing his world.

Hearing his fears confirm Barba is fighting a loosing battle not to fall apart, as he knows if he gives in to what he is feeling he won't be any good to anyone; and right now he really has to be strong for Antonio, and Olivia.

"Rafael?" Carisi asks concerned, reaching out and putting his hand on Barba's shoulder.

"I'll tell the others," Barba says, and before Carisi can offer to be the one to share the news, Barba walks out of the breakroom and heads over to where the others are. Watching from the break room Carisi watches as Barba clearly shares the news and Antonio collapses into Barba's arms, clearly devastated.


A little while after Carisi got the call from Rollins Barba, Carisi, Antonio, Liz, Dickie, Kathleen, Eli and Jet arrive at the hospital waiting room where Olivia, Fin, Rollins, and Kat already are, the group having been put in a private waiting are due to current covid conditions.

"Liv," Antonio says, and the two of them run towards each other and hug when they are close enough, both taking comfort from each other.

"Do we know anything yet?" Barba asks Fin, while Elliot hugs his kids.

"Not yet," Fin answers, as Antonio and Olivia break apart, and as they do Barba walks towards them and hugs Olivia. To Elliot's confusion no one else seems surprised at the fact that Barba is the one who is comforting Olivia. For Elliot is just another signal of everything he has missed out on.

As Babar and Olivia hug everyone hears footsteps coming towards them and as everyone who was going to arrive have arrive everyone is confused about who it could be, so much so that Olivia and Barba break apart.

"Family of Alexandra Cabot?" A doctor asks.

"Yes," Olivia, Antonio, and Barba say together, while everyone else assumes that they are about to get very, very bad news.

"We're all family," Barba says, knowing that Alex assumes most of the people in the room to be family and she would want them to know how she is doing.

"How is she?" Olivia asks, her voice barely loud enough to be heard.

"We're about to take Miss Cabot into surgery, her injuries are significant," the doctor explains. "I need to talk to her next of kin, the person who has the authority to make medical decision for her," the doctor explains, and several people around the room look towards Antonio, which Barba realizes.

"That's Olivia," Barba says, before the difficult decisions can be put on Antonio's shoulders as he knows that Alex never wanted her son to be put in that situation, even if it was warranted.

"They're not married," Elliot points out, before he can stop himself.

"Doesn't matter," Barba answers, an edge to her voice, looking towards Olivia, knowing that as much as he would like to now is not the time to let his feelings towards Elliot be known. "What Lex put into place when she got Covid last year is still valid," Barba explains. "That means medical decisions are yours to make," Barba says, looking at Olivia, and really not envying the decisions she will have to make.

"Ms Cabot covid? Did she require hospitalization?" The Doctor asks, as he knows that could effect Alex's treatment.

"She wasn't admitted to hospital, but she should have been," Olivia answers, still wondering if she made the right choice by not forcing Alex to go into hospital.

"That explains some of the lung damage I have observed," The Doctor says.

"She's still experiencing progress of exhaustion and trouble breathing," Olivia reveals as while it has gotten rarer, she has observed it still happening, and spoken to Alex who attempted, and failed, to lie about it.

"That is very good to know, it will effect the surgery," The Doctor explains. "Mis…."

"Benson, Captain Olivia Benson," Olivia finishes. "Please Doctor, do everything you can for Alex," Olivia says, putting an arm around Antonio, as she knows that neither of them will handle losing her.

"Of course," The Doctor responds. "The surgeries will likely take a while, I will send nurses with updates every half an hour or so," the doctor explains, before walking away.

As the doctor walks away Jet notices Liz duck down another corridor, clearly wanting some time alone, and it is clear that no one else has realized. While she may have just met Liz, it has been clear how much Alex means to her and so, wanting to make sure she is okay, Jet follows her.

Walking down the corridor Jet sees Liz leaning against the wall, clearly trying to connect herself. Seeing that Liz is clearly in pain Jet walks over to Liz and puts her hand on Liz's shoulder, causing her to jump slightly.

"I'm okay," Liz says, trying to pull herself together, but not really managing to.

"No, you're not, and I would be surprised if you were," Jet responds, and Liz turns around to look at her.

"This must be pretty intense for you, you just met most of us," Liz comments, honestly wanting to talk about something other than how scared she is for Alex.

"It's rare that I met someone when they're going though something good," Jet admits.

"That must be difficult," Liz comments.

"It is what it is," Jet says with a shrug. "I can give you some space if you want, but if you want to talk…" Jet offers, feeling awkward as she isn't very good at offering comfort.

"Thanks," Liz responds, feeling grateful. "You can stay," Liz says, leaning against the wall, and Jet walks over and stands next to her. "I was seven when I first met Alex," Liz reveals, after a few moments. "I don't know if it was Dad, or Liv, or it could have even been mom, but someone invited her to a barbecue we were having," Liz explains. "Knowing Alex like I know now I know she would have been overwhelmed by my siblings, and our friends, running around, but she never let that show," Liz explains. "Three years ago, Alex became my family, but she's been a part of my life for almost as long as I can remember," Liz admits, tears coming to her eyes. "I just lost my Mom, and I'm barely hanging on, I can't lose Alex too," Liz admits, as a huge part of the reason that she has been able to hold it together is because of Alex.

Having no idea what to say, as she isn't that great at saying the right thing, Jet reaches over and takes Liz's hand, doing the only thing she can think of to offer Liz some comfort.

For a little while Liz and Jet stand together before they head back to the waiting room where the other are waiting.

"There you are," Elliot says, seeing his daughter, walking over to her. "Liz, it's going to be a while before it's news. Maybe it would be better if you went home and waited for news there," Elliot suggests, as after everything that has happened with Kathy he is worried about his kids are going to handle it if things go bad.

"No," Liz says simply, and she walks over and sits between her brothers. To her right is Antonio who has Liv on his other side, and Barba on her other side, while to her left is Eli who has Kathleen on his other side.


Half an hour has passed since everyone arrived at the hospital and for everyone who cares about Alex the wait feels like torture.

"Liv," Rollins suddenly says, and Olivia, who was looking at the ground, looks up and sees a nurse walking towards them.

"How is she?" Olivia asks, standing up, like most of the people around the room do.

"Ms Cabot is still in surgery," The Nurse explains. "She has a collapse lung, and the scaring on her lungs is causing complications," The nurse explains.

"Are you saying that Alex's lungs can't handle the surgery?" Olivia asks worried.

"We want to limit her time in surgery," The nurse explains. "Along with the collapse lung Ms Cabot also has a gunshot to her shoulder, I understand that it is the same shoulder that has had a previous gunshot," The nurse explains. "Ms Cabot also has a concussion, blood loss, and a second gunshot to her stomach," The nurse explains. "The surgeon is still attempting to control the bleeding, determine the cause, and extent, of the damage, and repair it, but there both the gunshots have caused significant damage," The Nurse explains.

"What are you saying?" Antonio asks. "Is Mami going to be okay?" Antonio asks, not being able to help but think that the nurse is talking like Alex isn't going to survive.

"I can't answer that right now. I'm sorry, I need to get back," the nurse says, before walking away.

As the nurse walks away Antonio takes a couple of steps back and basically collapses into his chair; looking absolutely devastated. Hating the look on Antonio's face Dickie hurries over to him and squats down in front of him.

"Hey, look at me," Dickie says, and Antonio forces himself to do so. "This is Alex, she's tough as hell, remember when that Husband came into Vita Nova, and was a dick? Remember what she did? She's a fighter, she never gives up," Dickie reminds Antonio, only the two of them and Liz knowing what he is talking about. "She's not going to give up, she'll keep fighting," Dickie says, and Antonio looks like he wants to believe Dickie, but is struggling to. Needing to do something to help Dickie leans forward and rests his forehead against Antonio's.

"I'm here," Dickie assures Antonio, in a quiet gentle voice, and Elliot can't help but notice how intimate his son seems with Antonio, but he also knows now is not the time to ask about it, as much as he may like to.

While Dickie is doing his best to comfort Antonio Fin notices Olivia walk slightly away from everyone else, but she is clearly still close enough to comfort Antonio if he needs anything. Needing to make sure his friend, his sister, is doing as okay as she can be considering the circumstances, Fin walks over to her.

"What can I do?" Fin asks Olivia once he is closer to her.

"Make Alex okay," Olivia responds, as that's all she wants right now.

"I would if I could," Fin tells Olivia, as he desperately wishes that he could, and he just reaches out and puts his hand on Olivia's shoulder, giving her the phone support, he can.

"I know," Olivia says, feeling glad for Fin, even with how horrible she is feeling, Olivia puts her hand over Fin's hand and squeezes gently.


Half an hour after the first update everyone is desperately waiting for the second update when finally, the group hear footsteps and a second nurse walks in.

"How is she? Olivia asks, fearing the answer.

"The gunshot wound to Ms Cabot's shoulder has been controlled, and being repaired," The nurse explains. "The gunshot wound is proving to be more difficult; the Surgeons are working on determining the source of the bleeding and repairing the damage," The nurse explains, and everyone notice her take a breath. "Ms Cabot's right lung has also collapsed for a second time, it has been re-inflated, but between the injuries and the scaring from Covid her lungs are in a vulnerable state," The nurse explains. "We'll give another update shortly," The nurse says before walking away.

"It's okay," Kathleen says, as she hugs her baby brother. "Alex will be okay," Kathleen says to Eli even though she doesn't completely believe that as she knows that since moving in with Maureen Eli has been spending a lot of time at Vita Nova so that he can spend time out of the house.

To Kathleen's surprise Eli pushes away from her and walks over to Olivia.

"Alex won't give up," Eli says, before hugging Olivia, amazing his siblings who realize that after everything Eli has been through lately, losing his mother, moving from his home, watching his dad fall apart, and everything that has gone along with it, he is still offering comfort to another.


Another half an hour passes and certain members of the group can't help but think that the fact that the surgery is taking so long is actually a good thing as it means Alex is holding on. As the group, which have been sitting in complete silence, once again hear footsteps everyone stands up, all hoping that this time they get good news, and the nurse walks into the room.

"How is she?" Olivia asks.

"The surgeons are still working. Ms Cabot is losing a lot of blood, it's been transfused as quickly as possible," The nurse explains. "The source of the bleeding seems to be Ms Cabot's spleen," The nurse says, causing Elliot to tense as that's what killed Kathy. "It may need to be removed," The nurse says.

"Do it, if it will save her do whatever you have to do," Olivia says to the nurse, as while she isn't completely sure that the doctor needs permission she is going to give it anyway.

"Of course," The nurse says, before waking away.

"No," Barba says sounding completely horrified.

"Rafa?" Olivia asks concerned, at the same time Antonio asks.

"Rafi?"

"This can't be it, this can't be what gets Lex," Barba says, tears in his eyes, and shocking those who worked with him for six years as they know how rare it is for Barba to show emotion. "I can't lose my family," Barba says, his voice breaking.

"I know, I know," Olivia says, and both she and Antonio hug Barba, the three of them knowing that none of them are going to be able to handle it if Alex dies.


Half an hour later the group have once more been given the update that the surgeons are doing what they can to attempt to stabilize Alex. As he needs a minute Fin has gone down the same corridor that Liz disappeared down earlier.

As he saw what his old friend did, and needing to get away from the tension in the waiting room, Elliot has followed Fin.

"You good?" Elliot asks concerned.

"Not even close," Fin responds. "You've missed a lot," Fin explains.

"I'm getting that," Elliot admits.

"Liv has been through so much, so much loss, so much pain and trauma, but in the last year, even with everything going on, Liv has been happy with Alex," Fin explains. "She doesn't deserve more loss," Fin explains. "They're both my family, I just want Alex to be okay, man," Fin admits.

"Me too," Elliot responds, as while he doesn't see things in the same with Fin has, because he hasn't be around, he doesn't want Alex to die.


Three hours after everyone arrived at the hospital the tension is think in the room as everyone, those who are closest to Alex especially, desperately hope for good news. As they hear the familiar sound of footsteps everyone looks up and for the first time they see the doctor from earlier walking towards them.

Feeling both glad, and terrified about what they are going to be told, Olivia stands up and hurries over to the doctor, Barba and Antonio standing either side of her as they all desperately hope for good news.

"How is she?" Olivia asks, trying to gage from the Doctor's facial expression whether it is going to be good news or bad news, but she finds herself unable to tell.