For the OQ prompt party, saturday.
prompts: Robin gives Regina a ring. (120)
Regina proposes to Robin. (179)
Robin at Regina's coronation.(85)
Noble, proud and brave
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Robin never asks her to marry him.
After all, he'd been witness of her nightmares so early in their relationship – when it wasn't even worthy of being called a relationship – that he knows it all. The deep, well-rooted primal fear she has of marriage, because the word husband has always meant prison – cage – or even pain.
It does no good for her to have spent years observing Snow and Charming's perfect partnership – and she will not pretend their marriage has been easy, but surely with some loving foundations, the rest comes more easily.
It does no good, to see Belle and Rumple, how far they've come, how dark he was when they started falling in love and… how he is now. How happy they are. And his marriage with Milah wasn't a good one, but this one with Belle, after quite a handful of bumps on the road, well, it's working.
And Robin has told her about Marian – how he loved being married to her, how he appreciates the idea of a partner, of someone who is on your side no matter what – and they already are all that, and more, her and Robin, but.
She fears.
She fears he's missing out, and it's because of her. And although he tells her not to worry, that he's been married once, that it's alright and they don't need it, she worries indeed. But she still has nightmares from time to time, and she feels that every time Robin has to wake her up from a nightmare, his resolution not to marry strengthens.
So she starts feeling guilty.
And it eats at her.
When they attend Emma and Hook's wedding, she holds Robin hand and she's happy for them, but catches him watching the happy couple with something tremendously similar to longing in his eyes. She lowers her gaze and bites her lip, and thinks that she's being silly. That he would never hurt her like the king did. He already is her companion in every sense of the world, so why does she keep thinking of this? Why is it so important?
.
She finds out, one night.
He's gone – he has the night shift at the sheriff station, so she falls asleep without his arms around her. And she dreams.
It's the king again – this time, the very same day of their wedding, and she hears the officiant say the words, and her own voice repeating, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part –
There are hands on her skin, and they're neither old nor fragile. "Regina," his voice pulls her over back to the living, "Regina, wake up."
She slams her eyes open and meets his concerned gaze. She's panting, she notices. And his eyes are worried, and she doesn't like it.
"You were having a nightmare."
She gulps, still breathing hard, feels her skin sweaty and sticky. "I… I'm sorry."
"Oh gods – why on earth are you sorry? It's not your fault."
"No, I know," she can't look at him, simply won't look at him, he's too good, too concerned. "I… I don't know what happened."
She just now notices he's still dressed, still wearing the badge. He sits on the side of the bed, takes her hand. "Love… do you think you should see Doctor Hopper?"
"What? No, why?"
"Because these past two weeks I've woken you up at least five times from your nightmares," he explain, careful. "And I think… you should speak with someone. Someone who isn't Snow, or Emma, or Mal, or me."
"I'll… think about it," she murmurs.
"Alright."
He leans in, kisses her forehead, and whispers I'm going to change, as she squeezes her eyes shut and tries not to cry as she falls slowly back to her pillow.
Maybe she should follow his advice.
.
And when she does, things are… not easy. Especially the first time.
"I'm afraid of marriage."
She blurts it out, as soon as she sits down on the couch in Archie's office. Because if she waits a bit longer, she'll never say it.
It took another month before Robin managed to convince her. But after the umpteenth nightmare, she admitted that something was wrong – that they weren't her usual nightmares, Greg Cora Leopold Rumple and Mother please don't, and Daniel, and thunders and blood and magic sparkling in her veins. It was something else. Tranquil dreams but so psychologically heavy that she always wakes up in a sweat.
"Good morning to you too, Regina," Archie smiles. "Any particular reason why?"
"Shouldn't you be the one who tells me?" she asks, without the usual sass that would go with such a sentence. She honestly is so tired of this situation. She just wants to know.
"Well, I assume your last one didn't go well, am I right? And now you're afraid history will repeat itself?"
"No!" she snaps – "It's not that. I think – I know Robin is a better man than the king. He'd never hurt me on purpose."
"That's right. I have to ask, though – why are you so keen on the idea of marriage? Did he propose? Did he show any particular interest in marrying you, lately?"
"No," she admits. "I just… I think he likes being married. And I feel guilty I cannot give that to him. I think that his… upbringing…" she selects the words carefully, because it's not easy to express this idea. "I think he'd feel more complete. And on abstract terms I like the idea of marriage. But thinking of marrying again makes my skin crawl."
Archie stays silent for a while, so long that she starts thinking he's fallen asleep, but she can see he's just thinking. Maybe his fake PhD from the curse didn't equip him to face all the traumas and weird situations that come to see him.
"I think," he starts, hesitant. "I think we need to dig deeper. I have a theory, but I need you to tell me exactly what happens in these dreams."
.
Robin sees the change, after a week. She's lighter – she looks more serene, even if the problem is not solved completely, he assumes it will take some time. And he still wakes her up from nightmares, but she doesn't scream anymore, at least. She doesn't cry. He only notices because her arms tighten around him and she clings to him, or sometimes she pushes him away to roll towards the edge of the bed.
He doesn't speak of marriage, not at all. And he told Regina, that they don't need it to be happy, that he's happy like this, and as long as it makes her happy, he'll accept whatever situation she feels most comfortable into.
And then, after a month of weekly sessions, there's talks of a coronation.
Regina doesn't give it much thought. He sees her, going to work and splitting with him the care of the children. She just comes and goes and silently keeps an eye on Zelena when the witch gets the baby, but doesn't care of anything but her family and her mental health. So, one day, he considers himself lucky that he's been the one to intercept Snow's call.
Because Snow tells him about the coronation, and it makes him angry. Angry that they chose to name her queen without telling her first, that although she'd maybe be happy, he's tired to see her right to choose stripped away from her. So, he says, if Snow really wants this coronation to happen, she needs to come and tell Regina herself.
.
She reaches the point after five weeks of therapy.
Archie seems to be ecstatic, when he welcomes her, with Pongo catching up on his master's joy and going to lick her hand.
"So?" she asks, once she's sitting down. The couch in Doctor Hopper's study is comfortable and it grounds her, but her palms are sweaty, and she resists the urge of passing her hands on her skirt.
"I was hoping for you to figure it out yourself," Archie starts. "But I have to admit, it was so simple that it stayed hidden until now. And… it looks like you have a perfectly reasonable reason to hate marriage, Regina."
"Oh do I?", she says, doesn't resist and rolls her eyes. But Archie just smiles and gives her a piece of paper.
"Can you read it out loud, please?"
She hesitates, but takes it – there's a few lines written on it, just a sentence, and she gulps before starting.
"I, take you, to be my wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better and for worse, for richer and for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love, cherish, and to obey, till death us do part, and here I give you my promise."
Archie is still looking at her as if he's discovered the secrets of the universe, but she frowns.
"I… was hoping for a more… insightful advice."
"Let's just get through the single words, Regina," he says, ever so patient. "Take them one at the time. Slowly. Is there anything that jumps out? That you don't like, in particular?"
She skims the words, until everything blurs, and a tear falls on the pristine paper.
Archie's kind voice shakes her from her thoughts.
"You found the problem, didn't you?"
.
He's not there, when she has her talk with Snow.
Only thing he knows is, they stayed secluded into the living room for what felt like hours, and he chose to stay outside. He thinks he saw Regina's pleading look, but he just kissed her forehead and told her he'd be outside if she needs anything, and left them to their business. This is something she needs to do alone with her former-enemy-now-friend, and he doesn't want to influence her decision.
When they emerge, he's relieved to see them, Snow almost giddy, she smiles at him and says goodbye with a last hug to Regina.
And… well, Regina is serene, as if an enormous weight has been lifted from her shoulders.
"How… how did it go?"
She looks at him and a moment passes, before her answer.
"I… I haven't decided yet. I have to think about it."
He nods, and squeezes her hand. "You know I'm here if you need me."
"I know," she murmurs. "Robin… do you think I could do it? And, well, do it… the right way, this time?"
"Of course I do," he tells her, with all the conviction he can muster. "I believe in you."
"I know you do," she says, softer now – and he's happy to see that finally, after all this time, maybe now she believes him. "Let's go have dinner."
.
When Regina united the realms, she didn't think someone would ask her to be queen.
She talks about it with Archie – now that her marriage issues have been solved, more or less, she doesn't have nightmares anymore. Or, less nightmare than before. So she tells him, and finds she rather likes his calm demeanor and the way he has to clear her mind from her foggy, dark thoughts.
So she decides to talk with Robin about it – before she talks with Snow or Charming, before all announcements, she needs to know that her partner is on board with all of it. That he knows what it'll entail.
She's nervous – has fidgeted all through lunch, so when they go upstairs for a lie-in in the summer haze, she knows she isn't fooling him, and he knows what's happening.
"I need to tell you two things, and… I need you to listen first and ask questions later," she starts, once they're settled, as she has placed her ear above his heart. Its rhythm lulls her, calms her as she readies herself for the conversation.
He says nothing, but starts tracing patterns with his finger, on her bare arm.
And so she starts talking.
Tells him of Archie, of what the problem is, and she thinks she can manage now. She thinks that even if they don't marry, and honestly now she knows, there is no need, because he already has her heart – but she thinks she could do it and hear the words husband and wife without having her skin crawl. Because now she knows.
He would never ask her to obey.
Not as the King did, not as the marriage vows used to say. He wouldn't, because she's his partner and not his subordinate.
And then, she tells him of the coronation, how things have changed after her chat with Snow, that the princess gave her blessing and told her – how she has forgiven her, how she can't see the crown go to another person but her, and how she's sure Regina will make the realms a better place.
She tells him she wants to accept. That it would be a job – with travels, from time to time, with meetings and yes, occasionally even some balls, but she doesn't want the crown to become her only reason of being. It'll be a job – demanding and tiring, yes, but she will ensure that her family comes first, always, and…
At this point, Robin kisses her temple, and whispers, I'm proud of you.
And maybe it was the great deal of trust that her words required, maybe it was the knowledge that she can finally have answers to the matters of her heart and mind, but she cries against his chest and feels lighter, more free, unburdened.
"We're going to be just fine, babe," Robin murmurs against her hair, and for the first time, she believes it.
.
The coronation was supposed to be a quick affair.
After all, the people have voted, and it's more like an election than the mantle of power passing to the next in line. But the evening before her coronation – the right one, this time, one she has chosen – Regina finds herself wandering near the throne room, empty and ready for the following day.
She goes up the same stairs she has seen a million times, but this time… it feels just different. Sits on the throne, swiping away the hem of her cloak, and looking down and around her, at the throne room that's empty now but will be full of people soon.
And her thoughts, on this evening that feels full of emotion and anticipation, go to her father and to Daniel – the ones who believed in her good heart first and foremost.
"Think I'll make a good queen this time?" she asks lowly, not expecting an answer.
"Indeed you will." Robin's voice comes from the shadows, and she meets his gaze as he steps into the light. "If I may be so bold, I would like an audience with Your Highness."
She wants to smile, but he's so serious, and he walks towards her, his eyes fixated on hers, his steps silent. So she chooses to humor him – after all, it looks like he may not be joking after all.
"What is your dilemma, good sir?" she asks lightly, almost shivering at the thought that she will do this more often from now on.
"You are, in fact." He's close now, he has almost reached the steps leading to the throne. "I'm in love with the queen-to-be. And I'm inquiring if she loves me too."
"Oh." She smiles now, she can't help it. "And, let's suppose she does… may Her Highness know the reasons of this issue?"
He doesn't answer, but takes a piece of paper from his pocket. She waits as he unfolds it, as he clears his throat, and reads.
"You cannot possess me for I belong to myself.
But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give.
You cannot command me, for I am a free person.
But I shall serve you in those ways you require,
And the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.
I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night,
And the eyes into which I smile in the morning.
I pledge to you the first bite of my meat and the first drink from my cup.
I pledge to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care.
I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine.
This is my wedding vow to you,
This is the marriage of equals."
Her eyes are teary, by the time he's finished, and she gets up from the chair, her hands shaking. He just looks at her, with that kind of smile she fell in love with, a long time ago. And he waits for her as she descends the steps and takes the hand he's offering. She nears him, slowly, until their bodies are flush against each other.
"Marry me," she whispers, her forehead against his. "I'm not afraid anymore."
He smiles, and kisses her, takes her hand – she finds something cold and smooth pressed into her palm. And when she opens her hand, she sees a ring.
"I love you," he answers, and she feels that she could cry any minute now. Instead, the ring slips on her finger, and she cups his cheeks and kisses him how she's wanted to since he walked into the throne room.
.
She remembers bits and pieces of her coronation.
How emotional she felt, for one, how proud where the people she loves, as they looked at her accept the crown. How her family was there – and she would have never believed how different could her last coronation go if compared to the first one, when she was alone and scared and hurt. Here, everything shines, and Robin kisses her, capturing one of her tears with his thumb.
And she thinks that maybe the nightmares will never stop, but from now on, she'll have something beautiful and worth fighting for at her side, she'll have a family and love, and that everything comes full circle – her story is just beginning, and she couldn't be happier.
