Shepard had two rules for herself that she followed unerringly. One: never go anywhere unarmed. Two: never date a squad mate. The first one had been something her father had drilled into her as soon as she was old enough to carry a knife without harming herself. The second was a more recent addition, thanks to the events on Akuze that had brought an end to the only real relationship she'd ever had. That wasn't a position she ever wanted to find herself in again.

The result of the second rule was that Shepard ended up not dating anyone. She joked that her partner was the Alliance- she had grown up on a ship, and served on one now, and that left little time for romance. She had never been much for casual sex, either, so even the occasional hook-up during shore leave didn't happen. If getting the job done right meant being alone, well… Everything has a price.

That never stopped crewmates from trying, though. Word normally spread quickly after the first rebuttal or two that she had to make, and kept any subsequent ones to a minimum. The hardest one she'd faced on the Normandy so far was Kaiden. She genuinely liked the biotic, but this wasn't the time to start bending the rules. Not with the threat that was hanging over all of their heads.

Shepard's relationship with Liara started out much the same as her relationships with the rest of the crew. She was friendly to the asari, had a few casual conversations, and made sure she was settling in all right. Shepard was sure it was a pretty big transition to go from being alone at a dig site to being in close quarters with a few dozen strangers. Liara was different from other asari she'd met- maybe because of her youth, Shepard mused. Most asari that she'd had dealings with always struck Shepard as sly, cunning, willing to skew the truth to get their way.

Not Liara. Liara was open, almost naive. Shepard had taken her along on a few low-risk missions to get a feel for where her abilities lay, and she had to admit she was impressed. Liara's biotics rivalled Kaiden's, yet she openly admitted she was out of practice and needed to use them more often. But the way she so casually could toss a singularity out was breathtaking.

What Shepard enjoyed most, though, were the conversations they had. The commander had made it a habit early on to check in on her crew in between missions- see how they were, gather any feedback they might have, see if they needed anything in particular. She didn't realize how easy it was to spend time talking to Liara at first… The archaeologist was a font of knowledge about the Protheans, but she shared a lot about Asari culture with Shepard, too. It wasn't until their meeting after Liara's second ground mission that Shepard realized she'd been talking with the Asari for well over an hour. She excused herself with talk about post-mission paperwork and slipped back to her quarters.

Shit. Shepard dropped into the chair at her desk. She knew the signs well enough and wondered when she had dropped her guard far enough to let Liara get so close. Just friends, Shepard. You're just friends. The words rang hollow, even unspoken. She knew if she let herself she could listen to Liara talk for hours. Something about the way her face lit up when she was talking about history, or the matter-of-fact but almost shy way she told Shepard about Asari bonding and mating traditions. She wasn't blind- she could see the way Liara looked at her, as if the commander fascinated her as much as she fascinated Shepard. Shepard wasn't sure if she should take that as interest, or if the asari just wasn't used to being around humans and Shepard provided a handy test subject for her. It didn't matter. Shepard found Liara mesmerizing.

With a heavy sigh, Shepard moved to the bed and flopped over onto it, staring up at the drab metal ceiling. Get it together, Shepard. No distractions, remember?

Shepard paced the length of the medbay, stopping once more in front of the door that led to Liara's quarters. She raised her hand to knock- again- only to drop it and stare at the metal slab in front of her. If she was Liara, the last person she would want to see right now would be Shepard. Shepard, who had been forced to kill Benezia, to kill Liara's mother, right in front of her eyes.

She fisted both hands in her hand, stifling a frustrated groan. The need to make sure Liara was all right finally won out, and she quickly knocked on the door before she lost her nerve. She stood there for a moment, nervously shifting her weight from foot to foot, wondering if Liara would scream at her and tell her to leave or just ignore her all together.

"Come in." Liara's voice was muffled through the door enough that Shepard couldn't gauge her tone. She took a deep breath and palmed the door open to find Liara sitting on her cot, back against the wall. She offered Shepard a half-hearted smile as she entered. "Come to check up on me?"

Shepard nodded, pulling the chair over so she could sit down to talk, but Liara patted the cot next to her, beckoning her to have a seat next to her. Shepard almost protested, but given everything that had just happened she would have done nearly anything Liara asked.

She's your friend and she needs comfort. Get over yourself, Shepard. She eased herself down next to Liara, looking down at her hands as she searched for words. "I'm sorry, Liara." It wasn't enough, she knew. It would never be enough. To watch your mother be murdered by someone you were following, someone you were supposed to be able to trust… Shepard would never be able to make this up to her.

Liara shook her head, though. "It wasn't your fault, Shepard. That… That was not my mother. Not as I remember her. She chose her own path. And I choose to remember her as she was before."

"Will you… Tell me about her?" Shepard asked softly.

And Liara did. Even though they'd been estranged for years, Liara still held fondly to the memories of her childhood. She told the story of the day she'd dug up a large portion of the park near their house, looking for ruins in the soil, and how Benezia had kept a stern face on until they'd reached the privacy of their home and then dissolved into laughter. She told Shepard how even though Benezia hadn't understood her fascination with the Protheans or agreed with her desire to study them, she'd beamed with pride when she'd been accepted to the most prestigious university on Thessia.

And that's when the tears finally began to fall from Liara's eyes. For a moment, Shepard had the overwhelming urge to pull Liara into her arms and kiss her tears away one by one. She shoved that feeling back down into some dark recess of her mind, though, and settled for wrapping one arm around Liara's shoulders. If it was awkward Liara didn't give her any indication, she just leaned her head against Shepard's shoulder and sobbed.

When Liara's sobs finally abated, the asari didn't move, and after a moment Shepard realized that she had cried herself to sleep on the commander's shoulder. Gently, Shepard worked herself free and guided Liara to a supine position, covering her with the blanket at the foot of the cot. She stood there for a moment, watching Liara sleep, before silently making her way from the room.

Virmire nearly shattered her. Losing Kaiden… Well, saying that it hadn't been part of the plan was an understatement. It was a choice she'd had to make, and one that she would carry with her for the rest of her life. His name would join the names of her squadmates from Akuze, a list of deaths that she would never be able to atone for and sacrifices that she would never be able to repay.

The night dragged on as Shepard doggedly pushed through post-mission paperwork and penned a condolence letter to Kaiden's family. The clock read well past 0200 by the time she was done, yet she knew sleep wouldn't be coming to claim her tonight. With a sigh, she rose from her desk and left her quarters. If she couldn't sleep, she could at least exhaust herself down in the armory to mute her mind.

Shepard hesitated at the elevator, peering around the wall at the closed door of the medbay. She wished she could listen to Liara talk right now, to let the soothing tones of the asari's voice wash over and sooth her soul-

She snorted in self-deprecation. Get a grip, Shepard. She's sleeping. And even if she wasn't… rules! Shaking her head firmly, Shepard punched the elevator button, shifting restlessly during its slow descent. All she wanted was to lose herself in the sim course, do a few hundred push-ups, and quiet her screaming mind.

It was a surprise to hear cursing coming from the armory before the elevator had even come to a stop. They weren't words that Shepard recognized, either, and it only took her a moment to recognize the normally soft-spoken voice.

Ah, hell.

The elevator door slid up to reveal Liara at the firing range, wrestling with the thermal clip of an Avenger assault rifle. More profanity flowed from her mouth, and Shepard stood transfixed for a moment before gently clearing her throat.

Liara whirled in surprise, nearly dropping the weapon. Shepard quickly held up her hands in apology, and Liara relaxed again. "Shepard! You… surprised me."

"I'm sorry," Shepard offered, stepping up to Liara's side. She nodded at the gun. "You all right with that?"

"I was practicing," Liara grunted in frustration, trying once more to wrest the thermal clip out of it. "But the clip jammed, and I can't get it out."

"May I?" Shepard held a hand out, and Liara handed her the weapon. With smooth movements borne of years of practice, Shepard grasped the rifle by the barrel shroud, pulled the release into the open position, and jammed the butt of the gun against her knee. The clip popped out easily, clattering against the floor.

Liara shot her a look that was half annoyance, half admiration. "I've been trying to pry that out for twenty minutes," she sighed. "And you just…"

Shepard shrugged. "I've had a lot of practice." She took a step back, gesturing at the holographic target at the far end of the bay. "You mind if I watch?" Shepard ignored the klaxons blaring in her mind. She needed a distraction from Kaiden's death, she told herself. This was as good as any.

"Sure," Liara allowed, turning back downrange and sighting the target. Shepard noticed how her arms shook slightly, trying to hold the assault rifle steady. One burst, then two, three, four, five. This time the thermal clip popped free without a problem, and Liara looked back at her with a questioning expression.

Shepard examined the target and the shots scattered over its outer edges, then clucked softly and moved back to Liara's side. She took the rifle from Liara's grasp, setting it to safe and putting it back into the weapons locker. Flipping to the pistol rack, she spoke nonchalantly as she considered options.

"The Avenger is standard Alliance issue. It's meant to take a beating and still work. The trade-off for that is that it's heavy, hard to handle, and, as you found out, temperamental if you don't know how to… persuade it. Ah!" She pulled a Stiletto from the rack, looking it over once before offering it grip first to Liara. "Bigger doesn't always mean better. A well-placed pistol shot will beat a wild spray from a rifle nearly every time. Try again."

Liara took a moment to familiarize herself with the new weapon before pointing the pistol at the target under Shepard's critical time the grouping was tighter, though still not quite at the center. "Better," Shepard praised, stepping up behind the asari before she even realized what she was doing. She reached around Liara with both arms, covering blue hands with her own.

Her heart rate sped up at the proximity. Focus, Shepard! It's weapons training. You've done this a thousand times with a thousand people, this time isn't any different! She exhaled softly, adjusting Liara's grip on the pistol. "Lock your wrists. This will help keep you from pulling your shot." She pulled her left hand away and placed it on Liara's elbow, nudging it in. "This will help you stabilize your reach." Finally, she tapped her left foot against the back of Liara's, asking her to shift it forward. The asari did so and fell into a more natural combat stance. Shepard moved her left hand back up to cover Liara's, and with her right she guided Liara's trigger finger gently into place. "The less movement you make while you're taking your shot, the better. The stillest part of the respiratory cycle is when you've just finished your exhale." Her cheek was next to Liara's now- almost touching, but not quite, and it took every ounce of Shepard's self control not to just envelope the asari in a crushing hug. "Breathe in…" FOCUS! "Breathe out… and squeeze."

Gentle pressure to Liara's finger urged the asari to take her shot. The crack of the pistol echoed through the armory, and Shepard smiled as the center of the target lit up. "Good job," she praised.

And then Liara turned her head and looked at her, face glowing from the praise, and Shepard was drowning in eyes so blue they could have been an ocean. "I… uhm…" Shepard stammered softly, knowing she should pull away, wanting to pull Liara in closer.

Liara made the decision for her.

Soft blue lips covered hers, softly, gently, almost questioning. The kiss lasted either entirely too long or nowhere near long enough- Shepard wasn't sure which one it was. Even after Liara had pulled back, Shepard kept her eyes closed, feeling herself vacillate between reveling in bliss that Liara had feelings for her and wallowing in guilt for letting this happen.

She must have stood there for a few seconds too long, because she felt Liara suddenly tense against her and start to pull away. "I'm sorry, Shepard," she whispered, stumbling over her words, "I didn't mean-"

Shepard's eyes snapped open as she made her decision. She took the pistol from Liara's grasp and dropped it on the weapon's bench before turning the asari around and pulling her snugly into her arms, their bodies fitting against each other as if they'd always belonged together. Shepard dropped her head back down, and her mouth covered Liara's with an urgent, almost bruising intensity.

Every rule has an exception. She could almost hear her father's voice, gently admonishing her the day she'd carried her knife onto a part of the ship where weaponry was expressly forbidden. You just have to learn what it is. So follow the rules, but know when you need to adjust them.

Every rule had an exception, and Liara was the exception to Shepard's.

The pair broke apart, gasping for air, and Shepard leaned down to gently rest her forehead against Liara's. "Don't apologize," Shepard whispered, reaching up to cup Liara's cheek in her hand. "That's the best thing that's happened to me in a while. You captivate me, Liara T'Soni." She offered the asari a smile, gratified to realize that Liara had more or less melted into her embrace.

Liara looked up at her, searching her face for something before smiling back. She rocked up on tiptoes, briefly pressing another kiss to Shepard's lips. Shepard pulled back from their embrace, missing the warmth almost immediately, and offered Liara a hand. The asari didn't hesitate, slipping her hand into the proffered one and twining her fingers through Shepard's. They moved to the elevator together by silent agreement, Liara moving back into Shepard's arms while they made the slow ascent back up to the crew deck. When they stepped off, Shepard stopped and looked down at Liara, suddenly worried that she would change her mind and make all of this for nothing.

As if sensing Shepard's discomfort, Liara took her by the hand again and tugged, gently pulling Shepard toward the commander's cabin. Shepard's heart started racing, and this time Shepard embraced it. The door had barely slid shut behind them before she pulled Liara into her arms again and leaned down to capture Liara's lips again. Their kiss grew heated as passion grew between them, and Shepard barely had the presence of mind to slap the Do Not Disturb button on her computer, locking the door and muting the terminal. They fell onto the bed together, hands feverishly roaming, exploring, finding spots that made the other gasp in pleasure. Clothes were removed and discarded, dropped to the floor or flung across the room as the need to feel skin against skin overcame them both.

Shepard felt a somewhat familiar sensation at the back of her skull, simultaneously recognizing it from her previous melds with Liara and remembering what Liara had told her about asari mating and the use of the meld. She looked into the asari's eyes as they went black, surrendering to the asari without hesitation, feeling Liara's consciousness flow around and into hers and joining them into one entity. Shepard had the brief thought that she'd only ever been with humans before, and men at that, but it disappeared as quickly as it had come. Words were no longer necessary- their thoughts were open to each other, guiding each other to places that brought them bliss. Shepard's vision exploded with fractals of light as their passion reached its apex, pleasure overwhelming them both.

Shepard didn't know how long they laid there after, limbs tangled together, gasping for breath. The meld dissolved slowly, for which she was grateful… She didn't think she would've handled a sudden separation well after the level of intimacy they'd just shared. When she was able to move again, she pulled Liara to her, nestling the asari into the crook of her shoulder before pulling a blanket over them both.

Liara's idly hand traced invisible lines over head chest. "Krae?" The asari murmured Shepard's first name hesitantly, almost as if she were afraid of the commander's reaction at her use of it.

Shepard smiled and kissed her lover on the forehead. "No one's called me that in… a long time," she murmured back. "I think I like it when you do it."

She felt Liara smile against her chest for a moment. "I know you don't…" Her voice trailed off before she continued. "I've heard the crew talk. They say you never form… attachments… with crew mates," she said haltingly, and Shepard suddenly caught her line of thought.

She silenced Liara with a gentle finger across her lips. "I've had a rule for a long time," she explained. "I told you about Akuze and what happened there. What I didn't tell you- what I've never told anyone- was that my first and only serious relationship was with one of the squadmates that I lost there."

"You don't need to explain, Shepard," Liara whispered, taking her hand and gently kissing the back of it.

"I… think I do though," Shepard mused. "I've never told this to anyone." She took a deep breath and squeezed Liara's hand gently, finding strength in the touch. "His name was Danny. We went through basic together. We were young and head over heels for each other… It was hard to keep our hands off each other sometimes. He.." Shepard squeezed her eyes shut tightly, amazed that the tears still threatened to come after all this time. "He pushed me out of the way of the thresher maw's first attack, kept me from taking an acid blast head on. But he hadn't had time to seal his suit, and he took the brunt of it instead." A single tear fell from her eye as she let herself remember the memory that she'd been running from for years.

Liara propped herself onto an elbow and kissed it away. Shepard chuckled despite herself. "You know, I wanted to do that to you after Noveria," she admitted as Liara settled back against her side.

"I knew you were wrestling with yourself," Liara told her. "I just didn't know why." The question still lingered in the asari's eyes.

Shepard sombered again. "So yes, to answer your question, ever since that day I've abided by a rule I made for myself. No relationships with crew mates." She saw the flash of panic that crossed Liara's face, and quickly continued. "Until today. I don't do casual flings, either, Liara. It's pretty much all or nothing." She shifted and rolled them both over so that Liara was on her back and she was resting on an elbow above her. "My father once told me that every rule has an exception. And you, Liara T'soni," she declared, "are the exception to mine." Shepard lowered her mouth to Liara's and kissed her slowly, languidly, before pulling back with a teasing smile. "If you'll have me, that is."

Liara smirked, flaring her biotics, and suddenly Shepard found their positions reversed. "I think you'll find me rather difficult to get rid of," she quipped, before lowering herself to begin round two.