Disclaimer: SJM rules all, I mean owns. :D
A/N: So, here it is! As promised, the next chapter for you. I do apologize if there are any grammatical errors in it or any other chapter. I try to catch them, but I don't always. So...I hope you enjoy the fluff! I know I enjoyed writing it! :D
Chapter Ten
Gwyn had refused to leave Azriel's side from the moment they had arrived back at the River House. It had been pure chaos. Madja had already been there since Feyre had warned Mor ahead of time that we were on our way. They had spent a good amount of time on the floor of the foyer while Madja got the bleeding under control before they moved up to the dining room table. Gwyn had done everything she could, from fetching bowls of water and clean towels to helping disinfect all of his numerous wounds.
It had made her sick to her stomach seeing all of his injuries. He had 3 broken ribs, a piece of an arrow in his thigh, split lip, countless bruises all over his torso, multiple stab wounds and gashes, not to mention all the countless injuries to his precious wings. Then when they had flipped him over to work on his wings some more, they had found bad burn marks on his back above his wings as if someone had taken a hot piece of metal and pressed it into his skin, repeatedly. Madja had marveled that there was no infection in any of the wounds. She assumed there must have been something in the food they'd been giving him to stave off any infection. Cass had muttered that it would have only been to keep torturing him longer.
Azriel, mercifully, had stayed unconscious throughout the entire ordeal. She had seen the pain he had been in while in that cell. She didn't want to see him in that kind of pain. So she had vowed to stay by his bedside for when he awoke and she would take care of him. He wouldn't want for anything as long as she had anything to say about it.
So, that's where she'd been the past two days. Madja had been giving Azriel something for the pain that kept him asleep. He hadn't once woken since they'd been back. The last time he'd been conscious was when they were still in Vallahan. They had moved him to his bed in the River House once he'd been stable enough to be moved, so she was currently sitting in an armchair that Cass had moved in there for her. She was reading one of her favorite books to pass the time while he slept. She casually reached over and grabbed his hand like she had been doing every day during his recovery. She stroked a thumb along the back of his hand, along his scars, and smiled to herself. She loved the feeling of his hand in hers.
She stayed that way for the next couple of hours, not even moving when Feyre had popped her head in the door a while ago to see how he was doing. Gwyn had told her that he was still the same, still asleep. Feyre had nodded before glancing at their joined hands and smiling. When she looked back up at Gwyn, she was blushing. "The talk. Your first chance. Don't forget, just let me know and I'll kick everyone out if I need to."
Gwyn chuckled and nodded. She had thanked her again for everything before the High Lady had left to go do whatever it was that she did with herself on her days off. Rhys had given everyone in the Inner Circle time off to regroup and rejuvenate from everything that had happened. She planned on spending her time with Azriel if he let her.
So it was right as she was getting to a particularly good chapter when she felt fingers squeeze hers. Her eyes widened and she looked over the top of her book to find hazel eyes watching her. He had a small smile on his face. "How long have you been just lying there watching me read?"
Az chuckled, "A little while. You seemed focused. I didn't want to disturb you."
"Oh? So then why did you squeeze my fingers?"
He did his best to shrug his shoulder, wincing slightly in pain as he did. "I couldn't wait any longer."
She slid the bookmark between the pages and set her book down on the nightstand, leaning towards him. "Wait for what, Shadowsinger?"
His lips pulled up into a lopsided grin. "To thank you for rescuing me. To…thank you for leaving Velaris for me. I know that couldn't have been easy. To…tell you how much I missed you."
She fought back the tears as she gripped his hand tighter. "I will always come rescue you, no matter where you find yourself. And leaving Velaris…honestly, I hadn't even given it a second thought. You were in danger. You needed help. That's all there was to it. I know it probably should have been a bigger deal, but…the thing is, it wasn't. I knew I needed to get to you and the only way to do that was to leave. There was no question about what I needed to do. And…I missed you too. A lot."
Az nodded, swallowing hard. She saw the silver lining his eyes as they stared into each other's eyes. She reached up and brushed the hair out of his face. "Are you in any pain? I could go get Madja."
He shook his head. "I'm fine. I want to be awake for a while."
She nodded, knowing that he probably wanted to see everyone and really feel like he was home again. "I'll go tell Feyre you're awake. The others are dying to see you and know that you're okay."
As she started to rise from her chair, he gripped her hand tighter. "If it's okay with you, could we…just talk? The two of us?"
She felt her heart pick up speed as she sat back down. She had been waiting to talk to him, but wasn't sure if right after he woke up from nearly dying was the right time. She looked over at him and saw he was chewing on the inside of his lip, contemplating something. Before she could ask what, he slowly scooted over away from her on the bed. She raised a brow at him, but remained silent.
"If…If you don't mind…I'd rather not have this conversation with you looking down on me and I don't think it'd be a good idea for me to sit up quite yet."
She understood what he was asking of her, so she smiled softly at him before moving over to the bed and laying down next to him. He tentatively wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her a little closer to him, almost protectively. She placed a hand on his chest as she rested her hand against one of his pillows, laying on her side facing him.
"I wanted to talk to you too, but I think you should go first. You were the one who was tortured after all."
He chuckled. "How kind of you. Um…I want to start by apologizing for how I acted. I mean, the last time I saw you, in the training ring. It was unacceptable and I've since been told how big of an arrogant jackass I was."
Gwyn snorted. "Nesta talked to you before you left for Hybern, didn't she?"
Az nodded. "She did. But she was right. Everything she said to me was right. Boy, did she let me have it too."
Gwyn sighed and started absently playing with the shadows that had started coiling around her fingers. "I'm sorry for what she said to you, whatever it was. She shouldn't have gotten in the middle of it."
Az shook his head, bringing his hand up to rest on top of hers. "I'm glad she did. She made me realize how big of an idiot I was being. Gwyn, I…I was scared. That's why I reacted the way that I did. I was worried that…"
He looked away from her, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. She sat up slightly in alarm. "You're not in any pain, are you? Please don't play tough guy and actually tell me if you are. I want to help."
Az smiled and opened his eyes, looking at her with an emotion she hadn't seen in his eyes before. "Gwyn, I'm fine. There is some pain, but it's manageable, I promise."
She sighed in relief and laid back down, her knee bumping into his. "As you were saying, Shadowsinger."
He smiled softly at her. "During the weeks that I've been gone…it gave me a lot of time to think. It allowed me to put things into perspective, see them in a new light. Gwyn…what I'm trying to say is…there's only one thing that got me through the past three weeks. There's only one reason that I made it out of that dungeon alive. Every time the pain got bad or too much to handle, every time I was left alone for hours with nothing by thoughts, every time I thought I was going to die there…I held onto one thought that got me through. I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that you were here waiting for me, fighting to get me back. The thought that kept me holding on longer even my body wanting to shut down was that I needed to get home. To you. I needed to see you again. Your light and your happiness…they were no match for that dark dungeon cell."
Gwyn had a couple tears sliding down her face. She reached her hand up and rested it on his cheek. "Every moment you were gone, I never gave up hope that we would find you. I never stopped looking. I was going to do whatever it took to bring you home."
Az shifted so that he was lying more on his side, facing her directly. "I lied to you. I don't want to just be friends. If that's what you want, then…I'll find a way to be okay with it, but…I like you, Gwyn. I really like you. I want to be with you in whatever way you'll have me. There doesn't need to be anything sexual between us. I don't want you to feel unsafe. You will always be safe with me."
The tears were pouring down her face now. "Azriel, I want to be with you too. That's what I've been trying to tell you. I do feel safe with you. You have always made me feel safe. Even in Sangravah when you saved me from those males…you were this flurry of death and destruction, but not to me. You were my savior and protector. And then you stopped and looked at me. You didn't look at me with pity in our eyes, but understanding. And then you wrapped your cloak around me. That's when I knew you were one of the best males I would ever meet. And I was right. Really getting to know you these past few months has been amazing. You have helped me overcome so much and come so far. I…I might not be quite ready for anything that intimate, but I do want to be with you, Azriel. If you'll be patient with me and we go slow…we'll get there."
The happiness shining through Azriel's eyes made more tears slide down her face. He reached up a hand and was about to cup her face when he hesitated, silently asking permission. She giggled. "Az, you really don't need to ask permission to touch me. I'm okay. I really appreciate it and it makes me all the more fond of you, but you can touch me. I know I'm safe with you."
A tear slid down his face as he cupped her cheek. "You are so amazing, you know that?"
Gwn giggled and shrugged. "So are you."
He leaned forward and pressed his brow against hers. "So, what does this mean? What exactly are we?"
She took a moment to answer him, running her thumb along his cheek lovingly. "I would say that we're together, officially, if that's alright with you."
He nodded, smiling at her. "Of course it is. But you need to tell me what you want from me. I don't want to do anything you're not comfortable with."
Gwyn frowned. "What do you mean?"
"Well, I need you to tell me what you'll be comfortable with. Do you want to hold hands or hug? How intimate do you want to be? I know we won't be having sex, which is okay, really, but…I just want you to tell me how far you want to go."
She nodded, understanding his meaning. She could tell he was nervous, trying not to make her uncomfortable and scare her off. "I want to hold your hand, Azriel. I want to hug you and hold you whenever I can. I…honestly, I don't know how far I'll be comfortable with going, but if it's okay with you…I'd like to try something?"
His brow scrunched together in confusion, but he nodded. "Anything you want. I'm all yours, sweetheart."
She flushed and giggled at the pet name, her smile widening. She knew he could hear it as her heart beat picked up speed. She took a deep breath, her heart racing, and leaned forward slowly. She closed her eyes right as her lips met his softly. She felt him stiffen in shock. She knew he hadn't been expecting that. Slowly, he unfroze and his lips started moving against hers, fitting together perfectly as if they had been made from the same mold.
His hand slid around to cup the back of her head, securing her to him, his other arm that he had under her head wrapped around her waist, pulling her even closer against him. She gasped at the movement and he went utterly still. Their eyes opened and she could tell he misinterpreted the gasp. She put her hand on his chest reassuringly. "I'm okay. It just took me by surprise. I want to be close to you."
He nodded, scanning every inch of her face to make sure she was okay. She smiled reassuringly and leaned back in. He met her halfway this time and the kiss deepened. This kiss was more passionate than the first. The hand that was cupping his cheek slid around and into his hair, pulling him closer.
She was about to open her mouth for him when she felt it. She felt something yanking her towards him, solidifying in place between them. She gasped again and pulled back. She looked at him in shock before she realized…he was giving her the same look. He'd felt it too.
"Did…Was that…? Are we…?"
He nodded, dumbfounded. "Yes. That…that was the mating bond snapping into place."
Her eyes widened further as realization set in. She had a mate. She had found her mate. And better yet, she was already falling in love with him.
He looked at her tentatively. She could see the hope shining there as he waiting for her to sort through her feelings. She smiled brightly at him, "I don't know about you, Azriel, but…I think this day couldn't get any better."
His eyes brightened. "So…you're happy about it?"
She laughed, happiness radiating from her. "Of course I am. The Cauldron found me the perfect mate. How could I not be happy?"
He closed his eyes, tears sliding down his face once more. "You are the perfect mate for me too."
She rested her forehead against his. "I…I'm not ready to fully accept it. I know about the craze that mated couples go through when they accept the bond and…I'm not ready for that. I hope you understand. I'm not saying I don't want the bond. I swear, I'm not. I just…want to hold off on accepting it for a little bit."
He opened his eyes and looked at her like she was the only thing in the world. "Gwyn, bond or no bond, I will be right here. But if you do decide to accept it someday, I'll welcome it. I would love to be mated to you. If you decide you'd rather not accept it, then that's fine too. It's whatever you're comfortable with. I'll be by your side no matter what as long as you'll have me."
She kissed him again, needing to be close to him. After a few moments, she felt him wince from the pain. She pulled back and narrowed her eyes at him. "Why didn't you tell me you were in pain?"
Az fought back his smile. "Too many good things were happening for me to ruin the moment by bringing it up."
She scoffed, moving away from him and back towards the edge of the bed. "Your pain is not something to take lightly. You would not have ruined the moment by bringing it up. We need to take care of you so that you can get better. How do you plan on taking me on trips around the city if you're laid up in bed?"
His smile diminished at that and he looked away from her. She frowned and leaned back towards him again, placing her hand on his shoulder. "Az, talk to me. Where did you just go?"
He shook his head. "It doesn't matter."
"Yes it does. If we are going to make this work, I need to start opening up to me and telling me what's going on. Now…what's going through your mind?"
He nodded, swallowing. "I won't be able to take you on trips around the city once we go back up to the House."
She frowned, her brows scrunching together. "Why not? Do you not want to?"
He shook his head, still not meeting her eye. "It's not that I don't want to. You know how much I love taking you around the city. It's one of my favorite things, but…"
"But…what? What's wrong?"
"It's my wings, Gwyn. He mutilated them. I don't know if I'll ever be able to fly again."
Az rolled onto his back, putting a hand over his face and taking a shaky breath. Gwyn sat there for a moment, trying to find the right words. After a few moments, she leaned forward and pulled his hand away from his face. She saw the tears running down his face, but these ones weren't the happy tears from minutes ago. These were tears of devastation.
She placed her hands on either side of his head, turning his face gently towards her. "Azriel, I need you to listen to me. Everything is going to be okay. After we got you back here and Madja got all the bleeding under the control, I begged her to heal your wings."
Az had frozen under her touch, staring into her eyes. He didn't dare breathe as she continued. "Once you were stable enough, we moved you to the dining room table. There, she started on your wings. She was able to repair most of the damage. She said that with additional healing sessions and physical therapy…she's confident that you'll be able to fly again. You'll have to work hard and it'll take time, but…Az, you will get there. It is possible."
His eyes closed as fresh tears slid down his face. A bubble of laughter escaped and he shook his head incredulously. He opened his eyes. "I thought…this whole time I thought they were beyond repair."
She shook her head, smiling. "Everything is going to be just fine, just like I promised you."
He nodded. "You know…I don't usually get this emotional. So, don't get used to it."
She chuckled, "I'll try not to. Now, I'm going to go get Madja and get something for your pain. Then I'm going to grab you some food since I'm sure you haven't eaten in…I don't even know how long. On the way, I'll let the others know you're awake and talking. Is there anything I can get you before I get back?"
He shook his head, smiling at her. "No, I'm okay. I don't need anything except for you to hurry back."
She giggled and leaned forward. She pressed her lips against his in a sweet kiss before pushing up off the bed and leaving the room. She walked downstairs and found Madja conversing pleasantly with Rhys and Feyre in the dining room. They all looked up as she walked in. Gwyn smiled warmly at Madja. "He's awake, but he's in some pain."
The healer nodded and stood. She gathered some supplies and moved out of the room towards the stairs. Once she was out of the room, Gwyn looked at Rhys and Feyre. Feyre had a knowing smile on her face. "You did it, right? That's why you're smiling?"
Gwyn chuckled. "Partially. There were a lot of good things to come out of it."
Feyre's brows rose. "I want to hear all about it!"
Rhys looked back and forth between the two. "I want to hear too!"
Feyre rolled her eyes. "It's girl talk, Rhys. You're not invited."
Gwyn laughed as he put his hand on his chest, feigning hurt. She smiled at Feyre. "We'll definitely have that girl's night, but for now…I need to grab some food for Azriel and then get back to him. So if you'll excuse me…"
As she was turning, Rhys looked back towards her and narrowed his eyes. "There's something different about you. What am I missing?"
Gwyn stopped in the doorway, biting her lip. She wasn't sure if Az wanted to tell everyone yet or not. "I don't know what you're talking about."
Rhys nodded. "There's something…It's your scent. It's changed slightly. It's…"
His eyes widened as he looked her over once more, sitting up straight. "Are you…?"
She couldn't help the grin that plastered itself to her face. "We are."
Feyre looked back and forth between the two of them. "What? What are you? What am I missing?"
Rhys looked at his mate and clasped her hand. He seemed to be speaking with her down their bond as her eyes widened and she whipped her head back towards Gwyn. "You're mates?!"
Gwyn glanced up the stairs, hoping Az hadn't heard that. When she looked back at Feyre she nodded, smiling. "Yeah, it snapped into place when we were talking a bit ago. I couldn't think of a more perfect mate for myself."
Feyre jumped up and ran to give her a hug. "Oh, I'm so happy for you two! If you ever need anything or want to talk, just let me know!"
"Thank you, I really appreciate it. Now, if you'll excuse me…"
Feyre beamed. "Yes, we won't keep you from your mate."
Gwyn giggled as she moved out of the room and gathered some food from the kitchen. She grabbed some of his favorites before going back up the stairs. She walked back to his room and back to her mate, determined to take care of him until he was rested up and healed.
A/N: Thoughts? They're mates! I had to. I just love the idea of Gwyn being Az's mate. I think they're absolutely perfect for each other. So, let me know what you think! And any ideas on what you'd like to see next for our favorite couple? Until next time! :)
