A/N: No warnings this chapter.
For extra clarity: The plan from last chapter to get Conan out of the house (and away from Ran) is in action, meaning Kaito looks and sounds female until it's specified otherwise.
"So? What took you so long?"
Kaito blinked at Conan's annoyed tone. He'd known the detective was frustrated, it was why Kaito-as-'Kastuki-chan' had helped convince Tantei-kun's more-overprotective-than-usual neechan to let Tantei-kun leave without her direct supervision, but the detective had seemed fairly happy when Kaito had volunteered to get canned coffee for him as his belated reward from their challenge. Somehow, he didn't think Tantei-kun was talking about the time it had taken to bring the drinks he'd grabbed from the vending machine back to their deserted corner of the park. When he sat down without answering, Conan continued, "You got here an hour later than you said you would; I was starting to think you wouldn't make it."
"Right," Kaito made a face. "Sorry about that. My friends decided it was the end of the world or something if I didn't go to this new cake shop with them, even though it was a completely spur-of-the-moment thing and I told them hours before they came up with it that I had plans."
"It took you an extra hour to convince them you were busy?"
"No, no, that was because the annoyance decided that me being too busy to hang out with them was suspicious and he decided to stalk me to find out who I was meeting up with since I refused to tell."
Conan snorted, and Kaito complained, "Oi, brat, it's not funny."
"Sorry," he said, still sounding far too amused in Kaito's opinion. "It's just, with that disguise and the way you said that, it sounded like you were sneaking out to meet your secret boyfriend."
Kaito choked and then burst out laughing, switching to his Kid voice as he struggled to speak through his amusement. "Tantei-kun!" he wheezed, "Are we dating?"
"Ew, no." The disgusted expression on Conan's face had Kaito laughing so hard he almost fell off the bench.
When he managed to stop laughing, he reached out to ruffle the detective's hair, "Hate to break it to you, Tantei-kun, but you're not my type."
Conan batted his hand away, scowling, and grouched, "Do you even have a type?"
"Yep, the first parameter is: not trying to arrest me."
"Shouldn't that be a parameter for any relationship?"
Kaito couldn't quite hide his wince at that, but deflected before the frowning detective could question him, "Careful, Tantei-kun, you'll make me think you don't want to be friends anymore."
The detective blinked at him, and a thoughtful look came over his face, "I don't think I've actually tried to arrest you before."
"Tantei-kun, the second time we met you used a graveyard metaphor to tell me you were going to put me in jail."
Conan fidgeted in embarrassment as he replied, "I was mostly trying to scare you—"
"You succeeded—"
"—so that you'd be more likely to make a mistake."
"—in being excessively morbid and creepy."
"BUT," Conan continued, apparently determined to ignore Kaito's interruptions until he'd finished making his point, "I didn't actually get a chance to try and arrest you that time, because you implied you left Ran-neechan naked."
"First, nearly killing me with a soccer ball definitely counts as you trying to arrest me, and second, I still don't understand why that distraction worked. You're six."
"You remember Masumi-nee's reaction to you using her as a disguise?"
Kaito mentally cringed, "I won't be forgetting it any time soon."
"Multiply the wrath by about fifty and you have Ran-neechan's reaction to waking up naked in public."
He could feel the blood draining from his face as he tried to imagine what that might have looked like. "Remind me to never piss off your neechan," he said faintly.
"Don't make Ran-neechan angry," Conan deadpanned.
"Thanks, brat," Kaito replied dryly.
"Why does kicking a soccer ball at you count as attempted arrest? It seems like a stretch."
"When they're being kicked by an evil chibi with crazy shoes— what magic makes those shoes work by the way?"
"Magic isn't real," the detective said flatly. "Agasa-hakase made the shoes for me, and I'm not telling you how they work."
"You don't know how they work, do you."
Conan gave him an unimpressed look, "You think I would rely on something like that when I don't understand how it works? It would be like you not knowing how your card-gun works."
"Touché." Kaito blinked and grinned, "Chibi-kun, you're becoming a magician!"
"What?" Conan frowned at him, "No, Kid, me not wanting to tell you how to break my shoes does not make me a magician."
"You have mystical trade secrets!"
"Even if I were a magician, I would still refuse to be your assistant."
"No," Kaito gasped dramatically, "you've seen through my devious plan."
"If that's what you call devious it's no wonder you think being hit with sports equipment is an arrest attempt."
"Oi!" Kaito protested, and Conan raised a completely unrepentant eyebrow. "Okay, fine; attack by evil sports equipment is not attempted arrest."
"I'm glad you agree that I haven't tried to arrest you."
Kaito spluttered, "I agree with no such thing, on the basis of every heist you've attended!"
"What, you expect me to just let you steal stuff and not try to stop you?"
"See, exactly, you try to catch me all the time!"
"Yes!"
"You—wait, you agreed; what have we even been arguing about?!" Kaito was completely lost.
Conan stared at him in disbelief, but when Kaito didn't do anything except stare expectantly, he folded his arms and turned away with a frustrated noise. "Stupid thief. I'm trying to say wanting to catch you isn't the same as wanting to arrest you."
Kaito blinked in confusion until he remembered the joking comment that had started this tangent, feeling a delighted grin spread across his face. "You're so cute, Tantei-kun," he teased, "trying to reassure me that we're friends without actually saying it." The detective turned back to glare at him, but the effect was completely ruined by Conan's obvious embarrassment.
After a few minutes of ineffective glaring as Kaito continued to grin teasingly, Conan gave up with a huff. "Yes, fine, you're right."
"Of course I am," Kaito replied smugly.
"KID…"
"Tantei-kun?" Kaito prompted when the detective visibly hesitated.
"You have my number too, you know."
"Yeess…" he lengthened the word into a prompt, not at all sure where that had come from.
Conan sighed in aggravation, and grumbled, "I swear you're being obtuse on purpose."
"Any obtuseness on my part is entirely due to your sudden desire to be cryptic. I have no idea why you think me having a phone number that I've had for ages is suddenly relevant."
"When did you steal my phone, KID?"
"Most recently? At Rikugien. Also, is that actually what you wanted to talk about?"
"I meant your least recent actually, but no." Kaito raised an eyebrow when Conan stopped talking again and the detective started fidgeting. "You said we're friends, right?"
Grinning, Kaito replied, "I did; and you agreed with me."
The detective was back to looking exasperated, "You have my number. You don't need to wait for me to contact you. If you want to hang out, or talk about random stuff; or if you just need someone to listen to you for a while."
Kaito opened his mouth, realized he had no idea what to say in response to that, and grabbed Conan in a hug instead. He ignored the halfhearted protest and exhaled shakily as he felt the detective awkwardly returning the hug. This—his detective was making it very obvious that he considered Kaito—considered KID to be a friend. Kaito hadn't even realized quite how much his need to hide his alter-ego from his friends was hurting him until Tantei-kun's offer to just listen reminded him how much he missed not needing to lie to protect himself.
He could call Tantei-kun and just…talk, without having to worry about the detective finding out he was KID, because Tantei-kun already knew. He'd have to be careful not to reveal his identity, of course, but the situation was completely different. Tantei-kun knew he was hiding his civilian identity, expected him to hide it—and Tantei-kun wouldn't be hurt by his decision to hide parts of himself. He'd seen the way Tantei-kun acted around most adults, downplaying his intelligence and doing his best to act like the ordinary child they expected to see; and the fact that Tantei-kun didn't hide those things from KID—it meant more to him than he had words to express. (Maybe one day, Kaito could stop hiding too.)
Taking a deep breath to center himself, Kaito finally replied, "Are you sure you want me to contact you whenever I want, Tantei-kun? I might text you so much your friends start thinking you've become my minion."
Conan snorted, "Are you sure you want to give me a chance to change my mind?"
"Nu-uh, no take-backs, Chibi. It's been decided: I will pester you forever."
"Oh no," Conan deadpanned, "my friend has decided to stay annoying instead of becoming a normal human being."
Kaito laughed, "Normal is overrated, Chibi. Actually, I think my mom would be insulted if anyone told her I was normal."
There was a thoughtful pause before Conan responded, "Now that I think about it, mine probably would too."
Still grinning, Kaito finally released his detective from the hug. "We should probably head back before your neechan starts to worry."
"Right. Thanks again for this," Conan replied as they stood to exit the park. "Hopefully seeing that nothing happened to me will get her to stop hovering so much."
"Good luck with that, brat."
"Thanks," Conan said dryly.
"No, thank you, Tantei-kun." When the detective looked at him in confusion, Kaito clarified "For reminding me that you're my friend too."
Conan looked away, embarrassed, "You better not forget it, stupid thief."
"Or what, brat?"
"Or I'll set Ran-neechan on you for cruelly rejecting my friendship."
"Yikes," Kaito shuddered imagining the karate champion's reaction to someone being cruel to her charge. "You're so violent, Tantei-kun."
"You're the one imagining violence."
"Point, but the soccer balls from hell are all you and definitely qualify, so I'm still right."
"But they aren't arrest attempts, so you're also wrong."
"What? Chibi that's not even—"
"Technically nothing I've done at your heists would count as attempted arrest, because I'm not a police officer and can't actually arrest anyone."
"I refuse to agree with that logic because by extension that means Tantei-san has also never tried to arrest me and he definitely has."
"That's Hakuba Saguru, right? I think you could argue that his intent is to aid the police in arresting you, which for the purpose of argument is effectively the same thing."
"Wouldn't that mean you effectively tried to arrest me, too?"
"To the Taskforce I'm 'just a kid', which means I mostly ignore or avoid them; so, no, doesn't count."
"Wait, Tantei-kun, why are we debating this again?"
"Because you're a ridiculous thief who needs to be reminded that I can chase you at heists and still be your friend." Conan said, turning and starting to walk out of the park without waiting for Kaito to respond.
I wouldn't have it any other way, Kaito thought, grinning fondly as he followed his friend.
A little bonus: What would you say if someone calls your child normal?
Chikage: How dare you! My Kaito is talented, creative, and innovative, and I will not have you putting him down by claiming that his exceptional talents are merely 'normal'.
Yukiko: My Shin-chan has much more important things to worry about than being normal, and if 'normal' is the best description of him you have you obviously don't know him very well.
(Yuusaku would raise an eyebrow in a way that implies the speaker has missed evidence that should be obvious, and Toichi would subtly cue Kaito to do his flashiest magic.)
A/N: I'm back! Conan and Kaito teamed up to derail this chapter so thoroughly I don't even remember what I was planning for it, except that it wasn't what you just read. But they had so much fun arguing (I wrote almost 2k words for this chapter y'all) I couldn't not post it!
I think I have an idea for next chapter, but if it goes anything like this one who knows what will happen? I certainly don't.
