"Taaanteei-kuuun," Kid groaned as soon as Conan answered the phone.
"…Are you okay?" Conan asked in concern. The thief sounded exhausted.
"Nope~" Kid responded in a jarringly bright tone.
"Kid…" that's not something to sound smug about, Conan thought, wondering if the thief wanted him to listen to whatever was wrong or to ask for a distraction.
Kid sighed in response to his concerned tone, "It's not that bad, I'm just…I'm tired of lying to them all the time."
"Oh, you mean your civilian friends?" Conan asked. It made sense that Kid's civilian persona wouldn't be able to talk to his friends about being an internationally wanted criminal.
"Tantei-kun…you make it sound like you aren't a civilian."
"Eh?" Conan mentally repeated what he had said and blinked, "Oh, I guess it did. I meant the people who are only friends with civilian you, not Kid."
"Yeah, I thought so, but I honestly wouldn't be surprised if you told me you were a secret agent or something, Tantei-kun. Would explain all the cheating gadgets."
Snorting, Conan replied, "If my gadgets are cheating, what does that make yours?"
"My gadgets are illegal of course, what other kind of gadgets would a phantom thief have?" Kid snarked back at him.
"I guess I should reassure you that I am not officially a secret agent, and thus am not obliged to report your illegal gadgetry."
"Only officially, brat?"
"Well, unofficially I'm TMPD's youngest ever consultant, the secret service's master strategist and mascot, and, according to the newspapers, your mortal nemesis."
Kid had started laughing when he mentioned the secret service and only laughed harder at the reference to his 'Kid Killer' title. The thief at least didn't sound so exhausted anymore, so Conan counted it as a win.
"Mortal nemesis," the thief wheezed.
Conan snorted, "Didn't you know? Our rivalry is so fierce that we'll oppose each other until our final breath."
"Even after we're both retired?" Kid asked.
"We'll live in the same retirement home and continue our epic rivalry through old-people games."
"Tantei-kun, are you saying we'll be bingo rivals?"
"Sure. You try to rig the game and I try to stop you. Eventually both of us get banned from playing because we're too much of a distraction for the other old people who just want to play bingo."
The thief cackled at that, stifling his laughter to add, "Oh, no! What will become of our ancient rivalry if we can't play bingo?"
"Obviously we have to apply our extreme competition to a two-person game so we can insult each other's strategies directly."
"Oooh, we'll use one of those fancy park tables! What game, though? Shogi? Chess?"
"Nope. Checkers."
Kid spluttered with laugher, "Checkers?!"
"Yes. The games will take hours because we have more fun purposely making the worst move possible and competing over who comes up with the best insults. Winning the game itself is actually a loss, because that ends the game and gives the old-people minders the excuse to herd us back inside."
"Tantei-kun," the thief wheezed, "how do you come up with these ideas?"
Conan grinned, "Still think detectives are all nothing but unimaginative critics?"
"I think in this case, you'd be the exception that proves the rule," Kid replied.
"I guess I can live with that," he said, frowning as he heard indistinct angry shouting from the thief's end of the phone, "Kid—"
Kid cut off his question with a rapid, "Sorry Chibi we'll talk later," and hung up without waiting for Conan's response.
Conan blinked at his phone in bemusement, "Did he set off a prank or something while we were talking?"
A/N: (Please imagine Kaito hanging up the phone in a panic as Aoko busts into his house demanding what he's up to, because he's been suspiciously quiet for a few days.)
This...wasn't quite the protective Conan I thought would be next when I posted last chapter, but I hope y'all found it entertaining :D
