Chapter 73

Arkadia's local Dollar General wasn't exactly known for having a wide selection of groceries, and sometimes it just lacked the products Clarke needed altogether. Like a new hair straightener. Not that she chose to straighten her hair a lot, but if she got the urge to, it'd be nice to have a straightener on hand that actually worked. Even though she couldn't find one at that store, though, she kept walking down each aisle, just browsing more than anything at that point. Once in a while, she'd find something, decide she wanted it, and load it into her cart, in which Avery was nestled snuggly in her portable carrier. She didn't seem to have much interest at all in their little shopping excursion.

She'd forgotten (or perhaps she'd just never known) that Jasper worked at Dollar General. He showed up for work after she'd only been there for a few minutes and stopped and talked to her for a bit. Apparently he was working there full-time that summer. He looked . . . actually kind of professional clad in a black polo and matching black jeans. He must not have been the world's greatest employee, though, because whenever his boss told him to do something, she sort of squawked out an orders at him, but none of the other workers got that same tone.

Clarke lost track of time as she perused each aisle, then perused some more. She even ended up in the pet aisle at one point, despite not having a pet. By the time she'd wandered back up to the undergarments section, Avery had fallen asleep.

Jasper was stocking shelves not too far away, but when he saw her again, he stopped what he was doing and approached her. "Hey, Clarke?"

"Hey," she said. "Do you guys have maternity bras?" All the stuff at this store was super affordable, but none of it would be big enough for her boobs right now.

"Uh, no. Sorry," he said. "Maybe try Target."

"Can't," she said. "Finn works there." After last week, she was hoping to keep her distance from him whenever possible.

"Walmart maybe?" Jasper suggested.

"It's fine. I'll just keep looking," she decided. Hell, it wasn't like she had anything better to do with her day.

"You've been looking for ninety minutes," Jasper informed her as she started to push her cart away again.

She stopped, turned back around, and looked at him incredulously. "Has it really been that long?"

"Yeah."

He's exaggerating, was her first thought, but when he whipped out his phone and showed her the time, she realized it really had been that long. Nobody stayed in Dollar General for more than ninety seconds unless they had to, and here she was at the hour and a half mark. "Oh my god, I lost track of time," she said, hoping to play it off as nothing even though it was evidence of her pure, all-consuming boredom.

Jasper gave her a curious look, and that made her snap at him. "Okay, listen, don't judge me, alright?" she said. "I'm trapped at home day in and day out with a baby who, yes, I love more than life itself, but who also doesn't know how to hold a conversation yet." Feeling herself start to unravel a bit, she whimpered and didn't even try to hide it as she confessed to him, "I'm going crazy. I have to get out of the house once in a while, or I feel like I'm gonna lose my mind."

"Of course," Jasper said. "That makes sense. You got cabin fever. So if you wanna roam the aisles of this fabulous retail establishment, have at it."

She frowned, wallowing in her own pathetic-ness for a moment. How sad was it that pushing a cart around a crappy store was fun for her these days? Maybe she hadn't come in for a hair straightener at all. Maybe deep down, she'd just been desperate to go somewhere and do something. "It's just that everyone I know is busy. Including my boyfriend," she lamented. "So it's just me and Avery most of the time, and it gets really, really boring. And repetitive." Their routines were important, even necessary, but sometimes she felt like she needed to switch things up a bit.

"Well, hey, if you want some excitement, Maya and I are goin' to that new club tonight," Jasper told her. "You and Bellamy could come with us."

She made a face and echoed, "New club?" What the hell was he even talking about?

"Yeah. Sanctum."

She tried to remember if she'd heard anything about that, but nothing came to mind. "We have a new club in this town now? Like a nightclub?" she spat, throwing her arms in the air exasperatedly. "When did this happen? Where have I been?"

"In Mom mode," Jasper said, smirking at Avery.

"I can't believe I didn't even-" She whirled her hands around dramatically in front of her face, unable to even vocalize her thoughts. "I'm over it," she decided hastily. "You know what? Bellamy and I are trying to have couple time at least once a week. So it's a date. A double date. We . . . will you see you guys at Sandstorm."

"Sanctum," Jasper corrected.

"Whatever."

He chuckled and said, "Alright, cool. Invite Raven and everyone else, too, if you want. The more the merrier."

Clarke smiled at him as his boss yelled at him to get back to work. She was thankful for the invite, because honestly, her social life was pretty restricted these days, and Bellamy's wasn't exactly popping, either. She'd never been the type who liked to go out and do something every night of the week, but once in a while, it was definitely a good time.

...

Raven was relentless, even over the phone. "Come on, Clarke," she urged. "The more the merrier."

Clarke plopped down in her desk chair and gave her the same response. Yet again. "I can't."

"Why not?" Raven challenged. "It's the end of summer. Do you really have anything more important going on?"

It was almost eerily fitting that she phrased it that way. Not something better going on, but more important. Clarke cast a sideways glance at her computer screen, and a site all about abortions glared back at her. "I have to do something," she said, hating that she didn't even feel comfortable telling her best friend in the world the truth. "With my parents. Family day." She winced when she added on that last part, because . . . well, it was going to be a day about family. A family she'd never have.

"On your last weekend of freedom?" Raven kept on. "When there's a beach party going on?"

"Yeah." Her mom had scheduled the appointment for her, and it was up in Baltimore. By the time she got back, the beach party would already be going on, and she'd obviously be in no mood to party. Plus, it was going to take her a few days to recover. It was, after all, technically a surgery.

"Well, just tell them the whole cheerleading squad's required to be there," Raven said.

"So lie?" she surmised.

"Pretty much."

But I'm already doing that, she thought sadly, gripping her phone tightly in her hand. To you. To everyone.

To Bellamy.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I just . . . I can't make it."

Raven sighed heavily, but finally, she let up on her coercion. That didn't mean the conversation was over, though. "Clarke," she said. "What is this really about? Is it Bellamy?"

She looked down at her stomach and mumbled, "Sort of." Whatever was in that womb of hers was halfway him.

"Listen, I know you miss him," Raven said, "but the high school experience doesn't just have to end for you now that he's graduated. You can still come hang out and have a lot of fun. I promise."

But I can't, Clarke thought. She realized there was no way that Raven or anyone else could possibly understand why there weren't going to be any beach days in the near future for her, or why she was probably going to end up being the least cheerful member of the cheerleading squad this year. What she was dealing with was so much bigger than just a break-up, but to anyone outside her family, it probably just seemed like she was moping.

"You have fun, okay?" Clarke told her friend. "Tell everyone I said hi." She ended the call quickly, before Raven could give it one last attempt at convincing her, then turned her phone off altogether so she could get back to reading about something that wasn't fun at all.

...

Despite the fact that it was all a little short-notice, Clarke was able to arrange babysitting for Avery. Her mom and Kane were more than willing and even came over to their house instead of making them bring Avery over. That meant that she and Bellamy were able to meet up with Jasper and Maya at Sanctum around 8:00, which, despite being Clarke's preferred bedtime these days, was right when the club opened. They sat down in a booth with them and talked for a long time. Mostly, Jasper and Maya wanted to ask them about Avery. Bellamy showed them a lot of pictures, each one somehow cuter than the last, and Clarke told them all about their daily routine. Which wasn't all that thrilling, because even though she was slightly more alert these days, Avery still spent most of her time napping and pooping.

As much as she loved talking about her little girl, Clarke also wanted to shift out of mom mode for the night. So she wanted to know what Jasper and Maya were up to. Quite a bit, as it turned out, because they were talking about possibly moving in together and were looking at apartments. One of the places they liked best was close to Monty and Harper. And all four of them were thinking about taking a vacation at the end of the summer, possibly to Mexico. When Bellamy found out about that, he immediately started telling them about how he had lived there prior to going to Europe, and he impressed them with some highly inappropriate Spanish slang words.

It didn't really start to get crowded or exciting around there until 10:00, and that was when Raven and Murphy finally showed up. Raven's body looked unfair in a black crop top and orange leather skirt. Just seeing her made Clarke suck in her stomach a bit.

The more people showed up, the more packed the dance floor became, and eventually, Clarke got to the point where she was tired of sitting around and talking. She wanted to dance, too, even if she didn't look as flashy and hot as Raven. So when Jasper and Maya got up to hit the dance floor, she pulled Bellamy out there, too, leaving Raven and Murphy to make out and keep tabs on their table.

She didn't know any of the songs the DJ was playing, but it didn't really matter. She danced anyway, as best she could in the dress she'd chosen to wear, and Bellamy danced with her, twirling her around sometimes, then pulling her close so he could press his body close to hers. He didn't really move around very much, but he didn't have to. He could just stand there with his hands on her hips, gaze down at her intently, and still be the most smoldering man in the room.

When he spun her around, either she pressed her hips backward or he pressed his forward, because she ended up rubbing up against a bulge in his jeans. It wasn't noticeable enough that someone could see it in a darkened club, but since she was so close to it, she could feel it. And it felt good. Smiling dazedly, the flung her head to the side, letting it rest back against his shoulder, and then reached up and behind her head to tangle one of her hands in his hair. The music pulsated around them, and if she knew Arkadia as well as she suspected she did, there were probably a few people watching them. Maybe even staring. Some people probably thought it was wrong for them to be out and about while their baby was at home, but Clarke didn't give a rat's ass what they thought anymore. She and Bellamy were good parents. But they were still young and very much in love, too, and they needed nights like this.

For a few songs in a row, they danced without stopping, until Clarke started to feel hot and decided they should go sit back down. She wasn't sure whether it was Bellamy who was making her feel hot or just the fact that Sanctum was small and practically the entire college population had shown up that night. Or maybe her hormones were still out of whack and she was having a hot flash. Hard telling.

"This is fun," she said as she and Bellamy wove through the crowd.

"Yeah," he agreed. "Even though I can't dance for shit."

"You're not so bad," she assured him, giving his hand a squeeze.

"Yeah, I figure, if I just twirl you around, you'll look hot enough for both of us," he said, grinning. "You do look hot, by the way."

She felt her cheeks heat up a bit and knew she was blushing, but he wouldn't be able to see it in the club. "Had to squeeze into this dress," she mumbled, tugging down on the bottom of it. It'd ridden up a bit when she and Bellamy had been . . . well, not really grinding, but . . . whatever was one step below that.

"It looks good," he said, with drawing his hand from hers so he could give her a little pat on the ass. She yelped in delight and slid back into the booth.

Raven and Murphy had their tongues shoved down each other's throats but pulled away when Bellamy and Clarke sat back down. "Well, well, well, if it isn't the dancing machines," Raven said. "Care to explain how you two have so much energy?"

"Redbull," Bellamy blurted. "I drank six."

"And I drank copious amounts of coffee," Clarke added.

"You can drink coffee when you're breastfeeding?" Raven asked.

"Yeah. Just not energy drinks. Or alcohol." She pouted as she looked at the shots lined up in front of her friends. Not that she wanted to get shit-faced or anything, but just being able to have one drink would have been nice.

"Well, you could," Bellamy said. "In moderation."

"Yeah, but I don't wanna risk it." Even if doing a shot or two would have helped her feel all young and carefree again, it wasn't worth it if there was even a chance it could harm Avery.

"It's okay," Murphy said. "Bellamy can drink for both of you."

"Sure can." Bellamy finished off the rest of his beer, then wiped his mouth off with the back of his hand and said, "In fact, I'm gonna go get a refill. You guys want anything?"

"Nah, I'm good," Murphy said, and Raven also shook her head to decline. Bellamy got up and headed over to the bar, and Clarke scooted closer to the edge of the seat so she could lean out of the booth a bit and see him. Bellamy was so hot without even trying. Even when he was just walking, he took these confident strides, and it was sexy as hell.

"So, Clarke, what do you think of this place?" Raven asked her.

"It's nice," she replied. "Definitely a wilder time than Eligius. Less cockroach-y than Dropship used to be. I like it. And it gives me an excuse to make my man dance."

Murphy cringed. "He's not the greatest dancer."

"Oh, and what, you are?" she shot back.

"No," he admitted. "But at least I put in some hip action."

"Oh, trust me, Bellamy's hip action is just fine." She glanced up at the bar, appreciating the view as he leaned forward over the counter, waving to get the bartender's attention. "Better than fine, actually." She felt herself start to get all turned on as her eyes locked onto his ass. He was, like, the only guy whose backside she'd ever bothered to ogle. It was just such a damn sexy one.

"I'll be back," she announced, fearing she might start to salivate if she just kept sitting there staring at him. She got up from the table, made her way towards him, and hugged him from behind, sliding her thumbs into his front belt loops. "I missed you," she said.

"I've only been gone a minute," he pointed out.

"A minute too long." She wanted to be pressed up against his body again. Even with all their clothes in the way, it still worked her up. In a good way.

"Well, this bartender's crap. He hasn't even noticed me," Bellamy complained. "I'm about to hop over the counter and pour myself a drink."

"Or . . ." She tugged on his hand, smiling flirtatiously. "You could just forget about all this and come play with me."

Bellamy's eyes took on a glint of mischief, and he smirked. "Well, when you put it like that . . ." He allowed her to lead him back out onto the dance floor, where they fell into the beat of a slower song. Not prom night slow or anything, but still slow enough that she felt like wrapping her arms around his neck. His found her hips again, and she really hoped he wasn't feeling her love handles. They weren't hugely noticeable, but she'd never really had to deal with them before. If he felt anything extra, he didn't give any indication that he minded.

The dancing was great and all, but the more they danced, the more she wanted to do more than dancing. Their options were definitely limited, though. Not to mention, they hadn't done anything super sexual since before . . . well, before his proposal.

Much as she tried to contain them, the words that must have been obvious fell out of her mouth on their own accord: "I feel horny, Bellamy."

"You feel . . ." He stopped moving altogether, but his hands were still on her hips. He looked at her with surprise, and she wondered how the dancing hadn't clued him in. Was it really that shocking for her to say she was horny these days? Sure, the last few weeks of pregnancy had been a bit of a dry spell, but before that, she'd still been down to fuck.

"Whoa," he said, sounding stunned. "What does that mean? Are you saying you wanna . . ."

"No. It hasn't been six weeks yet." She had a countdown on her phone going, and according to it, she had about six days, nineteen hours, and thirty-two minutes before she was medically allowed to do that again.

"Right." He looked disappointed, but like he was trying to conceal it.

"Besides, I don't even know if I have a vagina anymore," she lamented. The other day, she'd made the mistake of using a mirror to look down there and had immediately wished she hadn't. To her, it looked so different, and it definitely felt different.

"Clarke . . ." He rubbed his hands up and down her sides, and she could tell he was preparing to reassure her yet again that she was beautiful and that her body looked great and that, when the time came for them to sleep together again, it was going to be just as amazing as ever. But he must have been tired of doing that by now. And she was still pretty fucking horny.

"But maybe . . . I could do something for you," she proposed, lifting her eyes from his crotch to his face, eager to gauge his reaction.

"What, like . . ." He trailed off, but when she just grinned at him, his eyebrows shot upward in . . . either excitement or disbelief. "Are you serious?"

She nodded, sliding her hands down his chest and stomach so they could hook into his belt loops again. She pulled his hips close to hers, close enough that she could feel that bulge again, steadily getting bigger.

"Okay," he said, looking around. "Yeah. Yeah, that sounds . . . I'm cool with that."

If she'd been more daring, she would have just dropped down to her knees right there to suck him off, but she wouldn't have even done that before motherhood, let alone after. It was the kind of thing she dreamt about, though, just going absolutely wild with him, letting go of all her inhibitions.

"Let's just go to the bathroom," he suggested, grabbing her hand and practically running her off the dance floor. He definitely seemed to feel like there was a sense of urgency, like he had to capitalize on this moment before it passed. So even when they got to the restrooms and saw a line of women outside the ladies room, he wasn't deterred from his bathroom idea. In fact, he shrugged and tried to lead her towards the men's room.

"Uh-uh, I am not doing that in the men's bathroom," she protested, withdrawing her hand from his. It was probably gross in there to start out with, and she wasn't going to do that with other guys around.

"Okay," he said, quickly coming up with another idea. "The car then?"

She nodded eagerly, feeling like the car would work. It wasn't middle of the dance floor public, but it was still . . . convenient. And sort of semi-public, which had always turned her on.

Once again, Bellamy took her hand, and he raced back through the club with her in tow. Murphy asked, "Where you guys goin'?" as they rushed by, but Bellamy just yelled back, "Don't worry about it!"

Of course the car had sounded like a good idea in theory, but when they actually opened up the door to the backseat, they both felt like idiots, because there was Avery's car seat taking up all the space they would need.

"Oh, fuck, I forgot about that," Bellamy groaned, dragging one hand through his hair as if he were really, truly distraught about yet another setback. "Well, I guess we can just squeeze in the front, do it there."

"But what if there's not enough room?" she fretted. "I already feel huge enough as it is."

"No, you can just lean over the gearshift and . . ."

"It's too cramped," she said, looking in the window. She was not feeling a blowjob in the front seat of the car.

Bellamy looked devastated that she wasn't on board. "Alright, you know what? Let's just go home," he decided. "We can do it there."

"But my parents are there with Avery," she reminded him. "By the time we get them to leave and tuck her in for the night, what if the horniness is gone? And what if the caffeine wears off by then, too?" If they were gonna do this, she felt like it was imperative they do it now.

With yet another idea shot down, he sighed and said, "Alright, let's go back inside then." He grabbed her hand and hustled her back through the parking lot.

"What do you expect me to do, just drop down under the table?" she asked.

"Well, I mean . . . if you want to."

She gave him an exasperated look. No, she really didn't want to. That didn't sound spacious or comfortable.

"Look, we'll just find a dark corner or something," he said. "Raven can be lookout. Just like high school." He grinned, and that made her laugh despite the fact that she felt like their very small window for sexy times was rapidly closing in on them.

When they got back to the club, there was a line hanging out the door, people waiting to be let in, but Bellamy paid them no mind and marched Clarke right to the front of that line to get back in. The doorman, however, had a major stick up his ass and told them that wouldn't be happening.

Bellamy, of course, was irate. "What do you mean you're not letting us back in?" he roared. "Look, we've got handstamps. We were just in there."

"Sorry." The doorman didn't actually sound sorry, though. In fact, he just sort of halfway shrugged and sounded like he was reciting a script when he said, "You leave the club, you get back in the line. It's the policy."

"But we didn't know the policy!" Bellamy yelled.

"Well, you do now."

Oh, crap, Clarke thought, biting her lip nervously. If they didn't find somewhere soon, then it was over. And poor Bellamy would have another date with his own hand later that night.

"Look, this is really important. I mean really," he tried to emphasize. "We need to get back in this club. We've got a newborn baby. It's date night. She's feeling horny. Please, just let us back in."

The doorman didn't respond. Barely even blinked.

"Bellamy," Clarke said, giving his shoulder a little nudge. When she had his attention, she pointed across the street at a Wendy's restaurant that had been in Arkadia just about longer than anything else in that town had. It was greasy and gross, but it had a spacious bathroom with a door that locked. And there wouldn't be anyone standing out front telling them they couldn't get in.

That gleam of mischief returned to Bellamy's eyes, and she could tell he was thinking the same thing she was: It was perfect.

The restaurant wasn't crowded—in fact, it was probably close to closing time—but there were a few people eating a late dinner and a couple of workers behind the counter. They all must have thought Bellamy and Clarke looked like crazy people as they ran in the door and immediately swerved towards their destination. Bellamy didn't even bother being polite as he squeezed past a woman who was on her way into the bathroom. "Hey, yeah, sorry, comin' through," he said, dragging Clarke with him.

"Hey, wait a minute!" the woman yelped in annoyance.

But Bellamy didn't wait. He slammed the door shut and locked it into place.

"Oh my god, are we really doing this here?" Clarke wondered aloud, looking around. There was toilet paper on the floor, and the sink was dripping. Not exactly romance central.

"Yeah, sure," Bellamy said. "Why not?" Grinning, he unfastened his jeans, adding, "It's bigger than the janitor's closet was."

Her insides started to feel all fluttery when she remembered the fun they used to have in there, and she abandoned any remaining inhibitions and said, "Yeah, screw it." There was no romance required for something like this.

Frantically, she helped Bellamy get his pants and boxers down just enough for his cock to spring out. He was so hard, and the tip of it was already shiny with pre-cum. She felt absolutely ravenous as she sank down to her knees and flicked her tongue against the head of it, collecting and tasting the moisture gathered there. Damn. It'd been a while. Not that she could ever forget what Bellamy tasted like or anything, but . . . she needed more.

Opening her mouth wide, she engulfed as much of him as she could, wrapping her hand tightly around the base of his length to keep it steady. He leaned back against the door, his head hitting with a thud, and didn't bother even trying to be quiet. Instead, he opted to just let out these low, pleasured groans at regular intervals as she sucked on him. His dick throbbed in her mouth, and the taste and texture of it made her start to feel damp between her legs.

"Yeah," he growled, his eyes falling closed. Only a few seconds later, though, he opened them again so he could look down at her. He liked to watch her do this, and it didn't surprise her when he reached down and tangled his hand in her hair. He liked to do that, too, sometimes to urge her to go faster, and sometimes even to slow her down. But he didn't guide her movements at all this time; he just let her do what he'd once taught her how to do, something she'd learned to do well.

It was such a rush to see, feel, and sense him losing control as she swirled her tongue around his cock, as she hallowed out her cheeks to apply even more suction and more pressure to him. His balls were drawn up tightly, so she massaged them gently with her free hand, just to add a little extra stimulation. Bellamy loved it when she played with those.

"Fuck, Clarke," he swore as his breathing started to come in heavy, labored pants. It definitely wasn't going to take much longer. The unique location and all the foreplay at Sanctum had built him up to the point of no return. He was going to lose it, and she reveled in the thought. Moving her mouth backward and forward along the length of his dick, she tried rubbing her thighs together, desperate for a little stimulation of her own.

Bellamy muttered something that sounded a lot like, "I'm gonna cum," but he said the words so quickly that she could barely distinguish one from the other. Seconds later, though, he was shooting down the back of her throat, all hot and sticky and salty, and so distinctively him. She'd never exactly loved the taste of semen, but there was something so oddly intimate and emotional about receiving something like that from him. Because it was for her, and because of her. All because of her.

When she pulled away, releasing him from her mouth, she had to lick her lips to get every last remaining drop of him. He watched her through half-closed eyes, smiling dazedly, giving his cock a few slow strokes as it started to get limper. All she could do was laugh, because . . . it was ridiculous sneaking into a public bathroom like this. It really did feel like they were teenagers again, scrounging around for any little stashed away place in their school building that could satisfy as a quickie location. Oh, it was a good time, though. For just a few minutes, they were able to step out of parent mode and act like horny kids themselves again. Maybe there would come a time when they didn't do things like this, when they had better reputations to uphold and were on the PTA or something. But tonight wasn't that time.

They ended up heading home afterward, spending the drive talking and laughing about the faces of those customers and employees at Wendy's. That woman who'd been about to use the bathroom had not looked pleased when they'd walked out, but Clarke just . . . didn't care. She really didn't. After all the small-town gossip she'd endured the past couple months, she knew how to handle a judgmental glare or two.

When they walked in the door, they had to squash all blowjob conversation since her mom and Kane were there with Avery. They had her situated on the couch, propped up with pillows, and were making stuffed animals dance around in front of her face. "Oh, look who it is!" Abby exclaimed. "It's Mommy and Daddy."

"Hey, baby girl," Clarke said, immediately scooping up her daughter. "We missed you." That was true, of course. She always missed Avery when she wasn't around her. But she'd also had a hell of a good time. "Has she been awake all night?" she asked her mom, concerned that her sleeping and feeding schedule would be all out of whack now.

"On and off," her mom replied.

"She's been very well-behaved," Kane added.

"Yeah, she's a good baby." Clarke could tell just by looking at Avery that she wanted to be fed—straight from the boob, not from a bottle—and she knew that the sexy times for the night were most definitely over. Besides, Bellamy's Redbulls were probably close to wearing off, and she could already feel the effects of her coffee beginning to fade. Once they hit the bed, it would be to sleep, not to fool around.

"How was the nightclub?" her mother inquired.

"It was great," Clarke said. "I had fun."

Her mom smiled at her, then turned to Bellamy and asked, "What about you?"

"Oh, I had so much fun," he answered emphatically. Clarke had to stifle her laughter, because she knew exactly what fun he was referencing. It was probably best if her mom didn't ask any further questions about it.

...

Now that Avery was awake a little more often, Bellamy wanted to take her out and about more. Sure, there had been simplicity in lugging a tired, sleeping baby places, but he liked getting to show her off to his friends and family. And it was a lot easier to do that when she had her eyes open.

Octavia was on a mission to be the best aunt, so he brought her over to her and Lincoln's place on Saturday, dressed in an obnoxiously pink outfit that made Octavia roll her eyes. She still gushed about how cute she was, though, and held her and played with her for a while before she gave her back to Bellamy and went into the kitchen to warm up some leftover pizza for him.

"So Clarke went to the gym, huh?" she said as she pulled the slices out of the microwave, wincing at how hot they were.

"Yeah." He put Avery's little hands over her eyes for her and then pulled them away. She smiled excitedly when she saw his face again.

"Weird," Octavia said as she came back to the couch with food in hand. "I don't think I've ever seen her there before."

"Well, she doesn't usually go," he said. "But she's on this whole body image kick ever since . . . well, you know."

Octavia scoffed at that and took a bite of his pizza before handing the plate to him. "She looks fine."

"That's what I keep telling her." He set the food aside, happy to let it cool off before he bit in.

"It's understandable, though," Octavia said. "I mean, not that I would know or anything, but I'd imagine after you've been pregnant for so long, your body doesn't even feel like your body anymore. That's gotta suck."

"Yeah," he agreed. "I just wish she wasn't so hard on herself, you know?" Week after week now, he'd been searching for the right words to assure Clarke that she was still the most beautiful woman in the world to him, that he couldn't wait to have his hands all over her again. But no matter what he said, she still complained about her weight and insisted on going to the gym with Raven and Harper to get trimmed up. Even though she didn't need to.

"I wonder if Avery's gonna be the gym type," Octavia mused, sitting down on the arm of the couch. "Or maybe she'll take after Clarke and be all into art and singing."

"Do you like art?" Bellamy asked his little girl. "Or singing?" Obviously he didn't get a response, but he interpreted the silence anyway and informed Octavia, "She says yes."

"Oh, does she now?"

"Yeah. I can understand her even when she doesn't say anything. It's a talent." Maybe this was a stretch, but there were plenty of times when he did feel like he could tell what she was thinking or what she wanted, even without one sound or word. His senses were all very attuned to her, and he noticed so many little things.

"You probably can," Octavia said. "God, look at you. You're so . . . wholesome."

"Haven't I always been?" he asked with a smirk.

She laughed. "No. I mean, except with me and mom. But you're, like, a family man now. You're so good with her."

"Well, I try to be," he said. "It's not like I had a dad growing up to show me what to do."

"Yeah." Octavia frowned for a moment, but it didn't last long. "Well, Avery's got a dad," she said. "That's what matters."

"Yep." He liked this whole family man thing. It made him feel good about himself and about his life, like he was actually doing something worthwhile for a change. "It's still Finn's name on the birth certificate, though," he mumbled, wondering how much that guy thought about Avery, or if he'd even thought about her at all ever since his impromptu visit.

"Yeah, but whose last name does she have?" Octavia pointed out.

"True." That still meant more to him than Clarke would ever know. "I wish it was more official, though."

"Official?" Octavia echoed.

"Yeah." Right now, he felt like Avery was his daughter in name and in feeling only. But not legally.

"So adopt her," his sister suggested. "Isn't that what you wanna do?"

"Well, yeah, but . . ." He met Avery's eyes, feeling like he was looking into the same shade of blue he saw in Clarke. "I just don't wanna have any problems with that."

"Ah," Octavia said with a knowing nod. "Meaning you don't want Finn to cause any problems. I doubt he will."

"Still . . ." He had his worries, ones that he didn't want to dwell on too much, because, quiet honestly, it freaked him the fuck out. "It'd probably be easier if Clarke and I were married."

Again, Octavia offered up her advice so easily, as though it weren't a huge deal to say, "So ask her to marry you."

"I already did that," he reminded her. "Worst day of my life, remember?"

"But that was then. This is now," she said. "I'm sure she wouldn't say no this time."

It was good that she was sure, because part of him—a very small part—still wasn't. He didn't think he could handle another no, even if she was only saying no because she felt like she didn't deserve it.

"You still wanna marry her, right?" Octavia asked.

"Yeah." Of course he did. She was the love of his life, and the fact that marriage would make it easier to adopt Avery was an added benefit.

Octavia shrugged. "Then ask her again."

Bellamy fell silent, already thinking about where he'd stashed that ring, the one he'd designed just for her and still longed to see on her finger. Octavia made it sound like it was no big deal to propose again, but . . . it was. It really was.