AUTHORS NOTE: warning. This chapter and the next couple will contain thoughts and discussion of self harm. If this is something that you can not handle please skip ahead. And if you are considering self harm please get help. It will get better.
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For the next three days the agents were hold up in the police station watching the videos. They saw things that no one should ever have to watch, and even less should anybody have to go through what those children had been through. It was impossible for anyone to say that this case wasn't effecting them all in a great way. Hotch made them all take breaks often. After the three days he decided that they had watched more than enough to get their convictions for each of the people they arrested. The rest could be watched at later dates if needed. He told the team it was time to pack up and head home. They could finish any paperwork on the jet.
Everyone was ready to go home too. They were all tired. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. They all packed up at the police station before heading back to the hotel to grab their belongings there and check out before heading to the jet.
The ride back was quiet. They all did the paperwork they needed to, but no one said much. Everyone had so much on their minds but couldn't really figure out how to talk about the case. Hotch knew he needed to make the first step. Shortly before they landed Hotch broke the silence.
"This case. What we have witnessed. What we have seen. It has effected us all. Me included. I know none of you love therapy. But we cant let what we are thinking fester. We will all be seeing a therapist. Make the appointment in the next week or two. I have spoken to the director. He wants everyone cleared before we are back to work." Hotch told his team.
Everyone listened to their boss. No one was all that thrilled but they knew there was no getting around it. Lorelai looked out the window. Before they left Lorelai had gone back to the hospital. Rebecca was still in the hospital but was going to be okay. Kelsey had been cleared and was being placed in a foster home. Lorelai had done her own checking into the foster home and was assured that she would be well taken care of. All the others in the hospital had either already been cleared to go to their various foster homes or would be leaving the hospital soon. Some of the girls who had been there for many years were over eighteen so they would be getting assistance from the government to get their lives on track.
Lorelai had made a decision when she was watching some of the video footage. She needed a break. She had already made an appointment with her therapist for the next day. She hadn't told anyone yet, but she needed more than just a few days off. This case. For some reason. She finally felt closure. All her former foster siblings who had disappeared. They were all found. Whether they were dead or alive they would finally get their vindication and Lorelai finally felt she had done what she had promised. She helped them all.
They landed and they all went their separate ways. As they drove home Lorelai took a breath. "Agent Hotchner. There is something I need to speak with you about." She said. She needed him to know it was something work related because since her adoption she never called him Hotch when they were alone at the end of a case.
Hotch looked over at her. "Alright." He said. "Go ahead."
"I am going to need some time off." She said
Hotch nodded. "Well, we will all be off for a week or two anyways."
Lorelai nodded. "I need more than that." She said
"How long do you think you need?" He asked
"I honestly don't know. I just know that I am not okay." She said
"Okay. Take the time you need. But know when you are ready. Your spot is there." He said
Lorelai nodded. "Thank you sir."
Hotch waited a few minutes before stepping into the roll of dad. "Lorelai." He said
"Yeah." She said
"What can I do to help you? As your dad." He asked
Lorelai shrugged. "I just need time. I have booked an appointment with the therapist tomorrow. Maybe after that I will know more what I need." She said
"Okay." He said
Lorelai sighed. "I should tell you Rachel is pissed. She emailed me. She was angry we didn't tell her anything. I told her that even if we wanted to we couldn't tell her anything and she didn't take it well." She said
Aaron nodded. "Okay. Thank you for letting me know. And you did the right thing."
Lorelai nodded. "I know."
Aaron pulled into their driveway and turned the car off turning to look at her. "I am proud of you. For the way you handled yourself on this case. You have proven to me that you are growing. I am also proud that you have decided on your own to take a break."
Lorelai nodded wiping at the tears filling her eyes. "Rossi helped me." She said
Aaron nodded. "Is he the one who told you about my conversation with the director?"
Lorelai sighed. "Don't be angry with him. He helped me so much on this case."
Aaron nodded. "I'm not angry with him. If he helped you I am glad he told you.
Both got out of the car and grabbed their bags from the bag before heading inside.
Rachel came when she heard the door open she hugged them both. Aaron had called the women who was staying with Rachel when they were on their way back and let her know they would be home before dinner so she could leave whenever she needed to. Rachel was only on her own for a couple hours.
"I am making dinner." Rachel said. "Miss Dancy took me to the store to get me what I needed to make it."
Aaron smiled. "Thank you Rachel."
Lorelai smiled a-bit as well and hugged her sister tight again before heading to her room to be alone for a-bit.
Rachel could feel the hug was tighter than normal and knew that her big sister wasn't okay. She looked up at dad. "The case was bad wasn't it?"
Aaron let out a heavy breath. "It was. But not something for you to worry about."
"Is Rebecca okay?" She asked
Aaron nodded. "She will be fine." He said
"Is Lorelai?" She asked
Aaron sighed. "She will be. Just give her extra hugs if she needs them." He told her
Rachel nodded and hugged her dad again. "I'll let you know when dinner is ready." She said
Aaron smiled. "Thanks. But how was your week?" He asked
"Fine. The teacher took me aside and talked to me. I take it you spoke to him?"
Aaron nodded. "I sent him an email. He let me know that he was harder on you because of the way you were on the first day. You gave him a hard time. He knew that he needed to be tougher on you to keep you on task" He said
"Yea… I did. I apologized. We talked about it. He told me all this. Told me he wasn't treating me different because he didn't like me or anything." She said
Aaron nodded. "Good."
"You can go shower and stuff." She said
Aaron smiled. "Okay." He went and did just that. He showered and changed.
Lorelai sat on the floor of the shower with the water pounding down on her. She just sat there holding her legs up to her body. Tears were falling down her face. She had so much loss in her life. First her parents even if she didn't remember them it effected her. Than everything one of her foster siblings disappeared. Then when she left the home when she thought she was eighteen losing the rest of her foster siblings. Than when Jessica died. She didn't miss her at all of course but she had been a significant part of her life even if it was all bad. Then this case. She almost lost Rebecca. And losing all those foster siblings and seeing all their bodies just lying there. She knew she couldn't lose anyone else right now, so she needed to step back and take the time to heal. She looked down at her wrist. She saw the scars from the abuse inflicted on her by way of being cut. It was never something she did on her own, but she wondered for just a moment if the pain it would inflict could help her feel less emotional pain. She quickly shook that thought from her brain. She wiped her tears and stood up and finished her shower before getting dressed and grabbing her sketch pad and a pencil. She went to the family room and sat in her favorite chair and started to sketch a picture.
Rachel finished making dinner. She had made a lasagna from scratch and a ceaser salad. While she was finishing up Aaron had come into the kitchen to see if Rachel needed any help. She assured him she was fine but that it was ready. Aaron went and told Lorelai it was ready. Lorelai closed her sketch book and headed to the dining room. They all sat down and had a meal together. Lorelai smiled. "This is really good Rachel. Your cooking is getting better than mine." She said
Rachel smiled. "I highly doubt that but thank you."
"You both are very good at cooking." Aaron said
The girls agreed with that statement. They finished eating and Lorelai offered to do the clean up since she cooked. Rachel refused saying she had been keeping up with the dishes as she cooked so there wasn't much to do. Lorelai told her she could help her finish but again Rachel said no. Lorelai said okay, thanked her for making dinner and went back to her drawing. Aaron also thanked her and grabbed a book and sat in the family room and read. Rachel finished the dishes and sat at the table and finished up her homework.
The end of the night came quickly. They all finished up what they were doing and went to bed early.
