AUTHORS NOTE: this chapter contains discussion of self harm. If it will trigger you please skip to the next chapter and if you are struggling and need help please don't be afraid and get help. I promise it will get better.

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The next couple weeks were filled with therapy appointments for each member of the team. They were all cleared after just one or two appointments.

Except Lorelai.

Her therapist knew she wasn't okay. She knew that for two reasons. The first one being Lorelai said she wasn't ready and needed time and the other was from her own personal observations. The person who sat in her office was a shell of the women her therapist had grown to know quite well. She also noticed the way she started tracing the scars on her arms. She had seen them before. She knew that they had been part of the abuse that was inflicted on her. But she had never seen her giving them much attention. She was concerned. They had been having two appointments a week after a couple where she was tracing them she knew she needed to bring them up.

"Lorelai. I have noticed a change in your behaviour." She said

Lorelai looked at her. "What do you mean?"

"You have been tracing the scars on your wrists. I have never seen you do that before. I also have noticed you have been wearing long sleeves only to your appointments. I am concerned." She said

Lorelai shook her head. "Its winter. Its cold." She said

The therapist nodded. "Okay. But it doesn't change the fact you are tracing them. I have to ask. Have you been self harming?"

"No." She said showing her arms and that there were no new cuts just scars.

"Okay, Good. I am glad. But you are paying more attention to them. Are you having flashbacks?" She asked.

Lorelai nodded. "Yes." She took a breathe. "And I remember about the physical pain. And… I… have wondered if the physical pain would help… I know that its not sane. I just cant help it."

The therapist nodded. "Thank you for being honest with me. And you are not insane. You are struggling. Given the things you have seen in your life. And the abuse inflicted on you. A lot of people would not be thriving the way you have been."

"You're going to have me committed aren't you?" Lorelai asked.

The therapist thought for a moment. "I am going to have to inform your dad about it. We will discuss what the best option is." She said

Lorelai put her head in her hands.

"Lorelai. You know it's okay. To not be okay. We all need help sometimes." The therapist told her.

"I know. That's part of the reason I am stepping back for awhile. My dad is going to think I lied to him." Lorelai said

"Lied about what?" She asked

"When he saw the scars, he asked me about them. He was concerned that it may become a problem again. I told him about the abuse and that it wasn't self inflicted and that its something I would never do to myself." Lorelai answered

"Well. You haven't done it. Thinking about it and doing it are not the same thing. I will make sure he knows that it wasn't a lie. I believe you honestly thought it would never be a problem. These things come up." Her therapist told her.

Lorelai nodded.

"Is your dad picking you up today?" The therapist asked. She knew she didn't have a car and often was picked up by her dad.

"Yeah." She looked at her watch. "He is probably waiting already." She said

The therapist got up and checked the waiting room and called him in.

Lorelai was not ready for this but knew there wasn't an option.

Aaron came in and sat down next to Lorelai who hadn't looked up at him. He knew something was wrong. "What's going on?" He asked

The therapist sat down in her seat. "Lorelai do you want to tell him?" She asked

"Not particularly." Lorelai said

"Would you rather I tell him?" She was asked

Lorelai nodded.

The therapist looked at Aaron. "Something has come up. I have some concerns about her that I am obliged to tell you about. I have noticed since her first session after your most recent case that she has been tracing the scars on her wrist. She has not self harmed, but she did tell me that she has had thoughts of doing it."

Lorelai refused to look up while the therapist told her dad what she had to.

Aaron listened at looked over at Lorelai for a second before looking back at the therapist when she continued to talk.

"She was concerned that you would think she had been dishonest when you discussed her scars and it not being an issue that was to be concerned about it being repeated." The therapist added. "I don't believe when she told you that she ever thought it would be a problem." She finished

Aaron nodded and looked back over at his daughter. "Please look at me Lorelai." He said

Lorelai did as she was told.

I don't think you were lying to me Lorelai. I know when you are lying to me." He told her. "I am not angry with you." He said. "I'm concerned but not angry." He said

Lorelai nodded.

"What is the next step?" Aaron asked the therapist

"Because she was open and honest with me upfront and hasn't acted on her thoughts. I do not think she needs to be put into the hospital." she said. "But its something we both need to keep an eye on. If it becomes to much and she does act on it I will recommend she be put into treatment." She said

Aaron nodded and turned to Lorelai she looked up at him again. "You are not in trouble. But you understand I will be keeping a close eye on you. Okay?" He said

Lorelai nodded.

"And if she recommends treatment. I will back that up." He said

Lorelai nodded again

He looked back at the therapist. "Is there anything that can be done to help her not act on her thoughts?"

"Yes. Using her art to keep her mind off of it. Write in a journal when you have those urges. And talk about it. Tell your dad. Talk to me when we have appointments. You could also learn how to box. Get the anger out in a productive and safe way." She suggested

Lorelai nodded. "I cant say I will take up the boxing but the other things I can do." She said

The therapist nodded. "Okay. I will see you in three days than." She said as the hour came to an end.

Aaron and Lorelai got up and left the office and headed out to his car. On the ride home Lorelai was curious. "You said you know when I'm lying." She said trying anything to get the tension to go away.

Aaron smirked. "Yes. I do." He said

"What's my tell?" She asked

He chuckled. "Why would I tell you that? If I told you that you wouldn't be as easy to catch in a lie." He told her.

Lorelai scrunched up her nose. That was kind of the point of finding out. After a few more moments of silence, she took a breathe. "Are you going to tell the rest of the team?"

"No. Not unless it becomes necessary." He said. "If you get the help you need and are able to work through this without it become an issue that needs to be shared no. Okay?" He said

Lorelai nodded. "I understand."

He pulled in at home. "Do you think you will be able to be open with me or your therapist if you do self harm?"

"I don't know." She said honestly

Aaron nodded. "Thank you for your honesty. How can I help you be honest about it?"

"I don't know." She said. "I'm sorry." She said softly

"Lorelai, you don't have to apologize, I'm not angry. You're not in trouble." He said

"I just don't know what to say?" She said

"We will take this one day at a time." Aaron said.

They both went inside, and Lorelai went to her room and curled on her bed. She just wanted to be alone right now.

Aaron received a phone call. His team was being called in for a new case. He went and let Lorelai know and said he would be in contact with her to let her know if he would be going out of town. He asked her if she wanted him to call someone to stay with Rachel or if Lorelai was up to keeping an eye on her. Lorelai said it was fine and she would keep an eye on her. Aaron wasn't sure but he trusted both his daughters, telling Lorelai if it became a problem to call him before leaving heading to the office. He had yet to inform the team that Lorelai would not be returning for awhile. Lorelai had told the director but for the team Lorelai left that up to Hotch to do.