Station Deep Space Nine

Episode 5

"Cry of the Warrior"

Starring:

Lieutenant Ezri Dax

Worf, Son of Mogh

Kurn, Son of Mogh

Doctor Julian Bashir

Elim Garak

Captain Kira Nerys

Ensign Terin Holm

Crewmen Diala and Yelina Tylittle

Zee Tigan

Lusara Belli

Vic Fontaine

Chief Ro Laren

Lieutenant Commander Data

Captain Jean-Luc Picard

Guinan

Lieutenant Nog

Quark

Nurse Simon Tarses

Stardate 55476.2 (2378) and counting

Introduction – The Blood or the Heart?

As told by Worf, Son of Mogh

Ambassador's log: Stardate 55476.2. It is the nearing third year of my time as the Federation-Klingon Ambassador, and the third year of the reign of Chancellor Martok. After the death of Legate Matan, the Cardassian Union has formally apologized for all Klingon losses during the Vesuvi skirmish. Though it disavowed the House responsible, the losses from the Cardassians have left an already struggling Empire in a weakened position. Militant-traditionalist elements, who often disagree with Martok's populist proclivitie,s have gained ground on the Klingon High Council. This poses a threat to the stability of Federation-Klingon relations if Martok cannot keep this ever-present force in check.

On Qo'noS, the Great Hall of the First city stands tall and imposing in the choking smog of the Klingon war machine. Like much of the galaxy after the great war with the Dominion, it has seen better days. Poor Klingon ciztizens huddle toward the Hall for an audience the Council and Chancellor. Each brings his shame and dishonor for failing the Empire in poverty.

Within the Chambers of the Chancellor, I, Ambassador Worf, deliberate with the Chancellor and Emperor Kahless in the presence of the High Council. As a member of Martok's House and a valued friend, he listens to my advice. At times I feel that I am the only thing standing between the Empire and nearby vulnerable systems. Martok has come to agree with me that there is no honor in attacking the weak and helpless. But the Klingon way is war… for once… I find myself weary of it… even as I hear the cry to battle. The sounds of the crowds outside roar as the three of us speak to the Council.

Martok sits on the Chancellors throne, frustrated, "Eggghhah! We CANNOT continue to accept these losses! We must discover more resources!"

A traditionalist council member speaks now, "Perhaps these Kessok can give us a technological edge just as they did for the Cardassians?"

I couldn't stand for that, "No. The Federation will not accept the invasion of this species and WILL retaliate. Risking war with the Federation would only damage us further! The Federation would be more than willing to offer the Empire aid if we would simply ask for it!"

"No!" The counselor said, "We are Klingons! We need no help from anyone!"

Emperor Kahless spoke next, though he is a token member of the Council only, "We are indeed Klingons. There is no dishonor in requesting assistance, but we must choose our allies carefully."

"Your words are empty, clone!" said the traditionalist.

A champion of reform on the council spoke next, "Perhaps now would be the time to lift up our Klingon citizens. Each of us has wounds from the war that must be healed for the next fight, when it comes."

The traditionalist growled, "So 'amicable,' does your blood not scream for battle?! We cannot deny what makes us Klingon! We take what we need!"

Martok yelled, "ENOUGH!" He turned now to the reformist, "it is a worthy goal… To live as Klingons, we must take care of our basic needs." Martok's tone was that of annoyance, as if he would prefer not to make that decision but felt compelled to do so. I looked to the emperor, who nodded approvingly. He was a great fan of Martok. It was a fitting stat of affairs after his famous arguments with Gowron.

The traditionalist and several others growled at Martok's decision.

It was then that the doors to the chambers opened and in came the Guard of the People: the man who brings the requests to the Council.

"Qapla' your Honors! We have unexpected visitors." He declared.

Following him were several Jem'Hadar, ones I recognized as the Alpha Hadar terrorists I helped flush out nearly one year ago. The leader, Decin stood, scarred upon his forehead, and joined by Toral, Son of Duras.

I last saw Toral nearly six years ago when he battled Jadzia, Kor, and I for the Sword of Kahless. In the end we chose to release it to the Gamma Quadrant, rather than let it fall into the wrong hands. Wrong hands… such as the Son of Duras. He who, like his father, tried to seize the seat of the Council with Romulan assistance. He was only a boy then, but he had grown. He now stood before us a warrior, but not as a Klingon, his honor was stripped from him. His presence offended each of us in this room. Allowing him into the hall cast suspicion on the Guard's honor as well.

A traditionalist Council member sat up and yelled, "What is this petaQ! Doing in our Halls?!"

Martok and I stood in agreement and challenge.

Toral declared, "I am Toral! Son of Duras! I shall be heard!" From the moment he had opened his mouth, I could tell the boy had changed. He was confident and did not stutter as he did in adolescence. But that did not erase his or his father's sins.

A reformist Councilor called out, "You shall not be heard! Lursa and B'Etor cannot help you any longer, BOY!" He crossed his arms and turned to express Toral's dishonor.

Martok declared to him, "You bring aliens into this Great Hall! Does the former House of Duras contain any true Klingons?!" The council cried out in agreement.

Toral challenged, "I could say the same of you! Accepting aliens and outcasts into your House."

He walked to me, staring me down. I am tall even for a Klingon, but he stared up at me with a firm glance… unafraid. I scowled at him in return. He was testing me.

He smiled with respect, "Your gaze is Klingon… yet your allegiance blurs between the Empire and the Federation!" He spoke with disgust at the mention of the Federation. He turned now to the horde of Klingons.

"Worf!" He said. "Son of Mogh! Of the House of Martok! Was twice dishonored! Once wrongly. The second time, rightly so! And yet you take him into your home?! You accept his late ALIEN wife?! With an alien blood sister still remaining in the house?! Another Starfleet officer?! There are those who would say that you!" He pointed to Martok. "That YOU are not truly Klingon with so many alien influences!"

The house rumbled with discussion before Toral turned to face me, his face challenging me again. He grabbed me by the shoulders, in a brother's gesture. Before I could tear myself away, he spoke with respect, "but your heart is Klingon. As was your wife's. THAT is why you should be accepted.

He turned now to his Alpha Hadar friends, "They too, have Klingon hearts!"

Decin stepped forward and held out his hand. Toral took a knife and cut his hand in the traditional Klingon fashion. The blood dripped to the steel flooring, upon the seal of the council.

Toral declared further and began to walk around the Council table, "My father… was a fool! His mistake was not in trusting any alien, but in trusting those whose hearts are not truly Klingon! As a foolish boy I looked up to him! Now, I have learned his grave mistakes were just that: mistakes! I have no honor in this Hall, but I hear the cry of the warrior. It is that within me which is… Klingon."

He faced Martok again, having paced the whole room, "What is it that makes us Klingon? The blood that runs within us? Or the beating of the heart within? Is it not the heart?! You must agree, else your house would not be as it is!"

I remembered by wedding with Jadzia. The beating of two Klingon hearts, and my long desire to be among my own... I knew Toral to be a foolish boy, but what he had to say was personally compelling to me…

The Council began to split slowly into two sides: those who found merit to Toral's argument, and those who did not. They were a mix of traditionalist members, and reformist ones.

As the murmuring died down, Toral challenged Martok directly, "So then… what's this I hear about you cradling the soft hearts of Qo'noS?" He spoke with disgust. "I earned my Klingonhood! But you wish to cradle the hungry and forge alliances rather than do what Klingons were born for?!"

The two sides erupted into arguments with one another. The sides now vanished and mixed.

Martok banged his gavel on the table and swore, "ENOUGH!"

The room fell silent. Toral approached the emperor now, "Do you not see that the Empire has lost its way? We have strayed from the traditions of your predecessor's time."

Kahless looked at him firmly, "… I can't deny that there are… some… traditions that we have lost, but we must also care for our people. That too is an honorable task."

Toral turned to everyone, "Exactly! And what is it that Klingons do? We fight! Those Klingons that huddle over our Hall, they beg because their hearts are not Klingon! They must earn the right to their lives in battle! The time for fighting has begun! Against those who's hearts are not of this world! The time for accepting new Klingons into the fold has come! Let us drop the sins of the father!"

Many of the Council had shifted sides, others were still convinced by Toral, there was loud argument now, a few pulled knives. I had to act.

"Those people did not choose their positions! Their hearts beat the same as any Klingon! They must be given the chance to be Klingon!" I declared.

He turned to me, "I would expect you to say that… You… are just like my father, cheating and scheming your way around true honor. Rather than granting your brother an honorable death, you chose to fool us all by putting him in another house." He smiled a toothy and mischievous grin.

I froze. He knew of what happened to Kurn? It couldn't be possible. Six years ago, in order to satisfy Starfleet and Klingon ideals, I gave my brother a new identity as Rodek, Son of Noggra, though he used to be Kurn, Son of Mogh. My dishonor during the Klingon-Cardassian war left Kurn again with nothing and he demanded I take his life in a ritual ceremony to restore his honor. Captain Sisko would not allow this, so I had to find another way.

Toral nodded to Decin, who signaled two of his men. The left around the corner and dragged forth Kurn, beaten.

Toral declared, "He put up a fight when we killed his false father." Decin then held up the half-decomposed head of Noggra and threw it on the table.

He turned to me as I stared at Kurn, unable to move myself. Kurn was barely conscious.

Toral spoke to me, "It seems that cheating to earn your family's honor is a way of life for you. But I do not blame you." He turned now to Martok. "It is YOU I blame for this deception. You allowed this foolish behavior in your house, and you perpetuate it with your soft-hearted policies. I do not hold such ideals. I DEMAND my honor from you, and I will prove I am worthy of being Klingon by defeating you! I challenge your seat! You are unfit to rule the Council!"

Several of the Council members against Toral declared, "He has no right to challenge you! Shoot him where he stands!" Meanwhile those convinced by Toral declared, "He has the right! Let the challenge commence.

Martok's one eye was fixated on the young Toral. Martok was aging, and scarred from war, Toral was young and strong, but inexperienced. I had no doubt that Martok would still defeat him, but it would be a difficult fight.

The Chancellor rose his hand and the crowd silenced. He spoke to the young Toral, "You come into my Hall, challenge my decisions and my rule, and declare I am no Klingon. There is only one Klingon response to that!"

Martok held out his hand for a bat'leth and Kahless gave it to him. The Council members stepped aside and Martok walked around the table to face his opponent.

Toral smiled fiendishly and held out his own hand and Decin handed him a heavily modified mek'leth. It had spikes and razor edges on nearly every part of it except the handle. He bore it well. An agility to counter Martok's bulk.

The two challengers paced around one another. Both determined warriors, of two different kinds. Toral feinted to Martok twice, daring him to strike. Martok stood firm, falling for neither of them. He swung with both hands. Toral deflected Martok's away bat'leth away. He then paced around him, trying to sneak behind the Chancellor. Martok did not falter, turning on a dime to face his attacker. However, Toral struck a cut on Martok's side, taking advantage of the warrior's missing eye. Martok growled in pain. He adopted a new strategy to catch Toral, turning his bat'leth sideways, keeping it trained on Toral and pushing toward him each time he tried to scurry around him. Their blades clashed again. Using this strategy, Martok managed to slam the blunt part of the bat'leth on Toral's face. He fell back, but soon caught himself in a roll. Martok swung down, eager to defeat him quickly. His strike missed and Toral quickly rose out of the roll and struck Martok's legs. They were quick slices, which trickled red blood down Martok's leg. Martok growled in rage.

Their blades met again as Toral's mek'leth locked in with Martok's bat'leth. Their faces met, "You fight well, but you slink around like a Ferengi. Where are your brave Klingon blows?!"

Toral responded, "The Kolar beast wins charges in with brute force, but an honorable warrior evades his charge, slicing him again and again, until he falls."

Martok yelled, "It is unwise to reveal your strategy to your opponent!"

Martok snuck a punch at Toral's stomach, knocking the wind from him. However, this weakened Martok's grip on his weapons, and Toral was able to split it in half with one motion from his sharp mek'leth. Martok fought, now, with two halves of a bat'leth, a style he was less experienced with. Toral recovered from his blow and held his mek'leth firm again. He feinted, and Martok blocked with one hand. Toral used this distraction to strike his leg again. Martok limped now from the wounds and Toral scored more and more scratches on Martok as a result. He was trying to anger him.

"Martok!" I cried out. "Do not let him fool you!"

Martok screamed as he charged, "I know thaaaat!" Martok brought his divided bat'leth together, however, Toral easily parted the broken weapon and scored an uppercut on the Chancellor, stunning him… Toral grabbed Martok's hand and stabbed it through with his mek'leth. The crowd, gasped, including me, I couldn't believe my eyes.

Martok screamed in pain but swung his other half bat'leth down to strike. Toral barely managed to evade, gaining a huge gash on his cheek. Martok fought one-handed now, swinging angrily.

Toral evaded each as his face bled. Some of the council chanted for Toral, others for Martok, including myself. Kahless stood, stalwart.

Martok's swings were easily dodged now. Toral ducked under his swings and sliced his stomach. While he was stunned, Toral cut his other hand and Martok lost his last weapon. Toral then kicked Martok over and he fell to his back above the symbol of the Empire. Toral stabbed him through the heart. Martok's eyes were those of pure shock as he cried out in final pain. Then his eyes closed….

Toral removed his mek'leth from Martok's heart. I rushed to my friend, checking his eyes… he was gone…

I cried out to allow his soul to reach Sto-vo-kor. The supportive Council members took the Chancellor's robes sitting on the throne and gave them to Toral.

They cheered, "All hail, Chancellor Toral!"

I turned to the new Chancellor. Many of the Council members were still arguing. Could someone so dishonored lead the Empire? Even having defeated Martok in ritual combat? What would this mean for the Federation? I wondered.

Toral approached me and Kurn, "As my first act as Chancellor, I strip the House of Martok of its honor for betraying the Klingon way. Leave with your brother to your Federation.

I felt a deep and familiar shame as half of the room crossed their arms and turned away from me. Toral was the last to do so, smirking victoriously as he did. He was an opportunist, come to steal the throne… but the combat… there was no denying he was the superior warrior… How could this be? I wondered.

I grabbed Kurn, he dizzily spoke, "Who… are you?" And the last piece of my heart broke.

The next day, I heard the news. The Klingon people began a rebellion against the Empire, calling for the rights of the citizen, and the end of the long-standing Empire. Again… my brother and I were outcasts. Again, the Empire rejected me despite my love for it… was it misplaced?

Chapter One – Summer Wind

As told by Ezri Dax

Lieutenant Ezri Dax, personal log. Stardate 55481.4. I've been co-counselor on the Enterprise almost a year and a half, but now it's time to come home. I've nearly fully recovered from my visit to Trill to save Terin, aside from the occasional bouts of fatigue and some nightmares from time to time. But Terin has shown little sign of change. I wouldn't recommend tactical away missions for him, but if he can get around on a cane with occasional assistance, I think he should be fine. The Enterprise will be docked for the next few days to rendezvous with the Sovereign, so I'll get a chance to say goodbye to everyone.

Terin was having some trouble walking today, so he braced himself against me and his cane. Terin and I had become so used to each other while on the Enterprise that I barely had to think about helping him. On the way I was finishing counseling one of the Enterprise crew. With the Pathfinder project concluded, Reginald Barclay had returned to the ship. He and I had established something of a rapport. It took a lot of sessions for he and I to get used to one another, but the way Deanna tells it, he opened up to me a lot sooner than he did to her.

"And remember, when we start to feel like no one likes us, what do we do?" I asked him.

He sighed with great anxiety, "L…Lean in."

"That's right!" I said. "You can do this Reg. You'll still be seeing Deanna again, but you already know all the skills you need. You've come very far; you can do this."

"Right… right… th-thank you, Counselor. I-I never realized someone could understand me so easily. It's not… not going to be the same without you." He said with a nervous laugh.

"Remember how nervous you were about seeing a new counselor?" I laughed back at him with nostalgia. "Who would've thought one of her past hosts was basically just like you? And he eventually married, had children, and became a chief engineer."

Reg quoted me from a past session, "'If there's hope for Tobin then there's hope for me.'"

"And?" I asked him expectantly.

"And... I... I-I'm not alone…" He smiled with embarrassment.

Once Reg looked up, he saw my welcome wagon.

"Oh! Excuse me Captain." He stood for Nerys a moment before returning to the Enterprise.

Nerys, Julian, Lu, Quark, the Tylittle Twins, and even Chief Ro were there to greet me.

My eyes met Nerys' and she smiled that gorgeous smile. I couldn't help but smile back. I was so excited to see her I couldn't stop myself from hugging her. "Nerys!" I cried. She was surprised by the hug, but after a moment hugged me back. My eyes teared up a little bit. She was all smiles when I looked at her which embarrassed me a great deal.

After our hug ended, I turned to the right to see Julian. I almost didn't recognize him, he had a full, but finely trimmed beard. It was a lot like Will's actually.

"Julian? You grew a beard?" I said, surprised.

"And you grew out your hair," he said with a smirk as we hugged.

I brushed my hair a bit, feeling embarrassed. I was still a lot more like Tobin even now that I led Reg to believe, always nervous about saying something wrong. My hair was still quite short, but it was long enough that it was flaring out in the back just a bit. I had also styled the bangs to sweep out to the side more easily. I didn't want them to get in my eyes. Mr. Mott did a great job with trimming it to make it look good.

Lu cried out after me, "It makes her look spunky!"

I turned to Lu. "And how's my favorite Ferengi?" I said with a smirk. We hugged as well.

I heard some tension in her voice, "Hanging in there. You need to come to my shop! We have a welcome ceremony for you in Vic's and I have the perfect outfit for you, if you want it."

"Of course!" I said.

Terin wobbled over to Lu, "Hey." He said, more confident than usual.

Lu's emotions bublled over, "Terin!... I read what happened to both of you and…"

Then she just hugged Terin tightly, "I missed you… I'm… so happy for you…" He just scratched her head affectionately.

The twins walked up together, "We should all ride in your ship again!" They said to Terin. Speaking simultaneously.

Diala turned to Lu, "We don't want to make Ezri space sick again, though."

Terin interrupted her, "Oh she can almost beat me on that program now, we've been racing… she's almost as good as me… almost."

Nerys spoke up now, facing me, "Oh? You should try to raise your pilot level then."

I felt embarrassed by all the attention, "Oh I don't know, maybe."

Julian walked ahead of the group. "Perhaps we all should reconvene at Vic's then?" He said.

We all agreed as Quark walked up to me and caught me up on his happenings.

I followed Lu to the tailor's shop. It was huge. She had extended it to include a great deal of clothes.

"Wow! How did you manage this in your spare time?" I asked.

"Oh…" She stammered. "When you have your whole days to yourself…"

I felt a surge of concern. What does that mean? I wondered.

She turned around, realizing my perception, "I'm… not in Starfleet anymore…" She said it with a smile, but the shame was clear on her face.

"What happened?" I asked empathetically.

She sighed and turned away, digging for my outfit, "I happened." She said with frustration at herself. "I can't take orders or deal with all of it. So, I went back to what I know…"

I rubbed her shoulder, "I'm sorry to hear that. I hope your shop makes you happy though." It didn't seem like she really wanted ot leave Starfleet, but I knew there would be plenty of time to talk about it later.

"I guess it's satisfying enough…" She said with clear hesitation.

After a pause I said, "well if you ever want to talk about it, my office won't be far."

"Here it is!" She said, ignoring my gesture. She pulled out a dark purple tuxedo jacket with lavender colored shirt to go under it, one that would fit me well. Black slacks and dress shoes and a black bowtie as well.

I was a little stunned, and rather intimidated to wear it, "Oh wow… for some reason I assumed it would be a dress." I laughed.

"If you'd prefer a dress I have quite a few-"

I interrupted her, "Oh no! No, this will be perfect."

I changed in the changing room and put on a bit of makeup, especially on my eyebrows to help them pop out. I couldn't believe how good I felt looking at myself in the mirror when I was done. I was ready.

As I entered Vic's I could hear the jazz band playing. I felt quite out of place among the holographic women, all in dresses, but I felt confident. I slipped on the lavender gloves that Lu gave me for the outfit. She had gone in ahead in a dress of her own. I worked up my courage and entered the band room with the bar.

Vic Fontaine was at the bar talking to Nog at the bar. As I walked closer Vic turned to me. He smiled when he saw me.

"Heyyy! If it ain't the fuzzy duck with the Tuxedo!" He came over to shake my hand, "Lookin' sharp!" He pointed at me cooly wit the compliment as we approached the bar. "It's good t' see ya back home! You clear up all that smog in yer noggin'?"

I laughed with embarrassment, "Good to see you Vic, and more or less… I'll probably always be a little confused though." I joked.

"Eh, aren't we all?" Vic said.

"Hey Nog!" I called to Nog eagerly.

He laughed happily and came to shake my hand, "Good to see you Dax! I hope that the Enterprise was a good experience?"

"It was! It's not every day you get to work side by side with your heroes. I feel a lot more confident than I used to…" I glanced over to Vic, "More or less." I said.

Up from the bar sprung up Zee, apparently hiding, I was briefly terrified by her appearance but quickly relaxed. It was only her…

"Hey girl!" She said to me.

Vic spoke up now, "Hey Zeezee!" He said. She was carrying a bottle of champagne and poured me some.

"Hey Vic." She drank the champagne out of the bottle after pouring several glasses.

He pointed to both of us, "Say now, that Ezri is here, I might have trouble telling you apart."

Zee was not wearing a tux or a dress, but a leather jacket and white tank top. Her hair cut was very short, as if she had shaved her head a month ago and let it spike out just a little.

"Well just look at our hair then and you'll know." I said.

"Or the clothes." Zee said, taking a swig from the bottle.

Yelina and Diala came into Vic's nest, both wearing sparkly dresses. Yelina wore a blue, while Diala wore pink. Diala came right up to Zee and put her hands on her hips.

Zee gave a hungry smile and said, "Hey you." Then she kissed her on the lips.

Diala then told Zee, "Yelina and I are going to check out the slots, wanna come?"

Zee stroked Diala's cheeks, "Aww" she whined playfully as if Diala were a sweet child, "Tempting… but I wanna catch up with my sis first." A she said sid she eyed Yelina up and down. "I'll see you two later tonight though?" They both giggled and walked away, arm in arm as always.

I turned to Zee, "Aren't they… a little young for you?"

She made a face like I was ridiculous, and her tone matched, "No… I'm like only a year or two older than them, I think."

I blinked before realizing she was right, "Sorry!" I closed my eyes. "I forget you aren't also three hundred years old." For some reason, I felt uncomfortable again. I think some part of me had hoped that Zee wouldn't be here when I came back.

She leaned forward to me, "Well neither are you, only that thing in your belly." I couldn't tell if she was disgusted or aroused.

"Still… We are twins I suppose." I chuckled, trying to laugh it off. I suddenly became aware of how familiar Zee was to me. She reminded me so much of some of my patients.

I turned over as a new guest entered the room. Nerys.

She wore a sparkling black dress, form-fitting, with silver-colored gloves. She had mussed up her hair a bit to be fancier. I felt my face get a hot almost immediately. Thank goodness I'm wearing foundation, I thought. Though I still worried it wouldn't do any good

She smiled widely when she saw me. Terin followed close behind her in a standard tux, but I barely noticed.

As she walked to us and got close to me, Zee winked at us before joining the twins in the casino.

"Well!" Vic said. "Now that everyone is here…"

"Wait! What about Julian?" I said.

He turned to me and shrugged, "Well you know Julian… plans the parties and then doesn't show. He's a real Gatsby, that one."

Nerys translated the slang for me, "Julian's been doing a lot of research lately. He gets really absorbed. None of us have really seen much of him lately.

I felt a twinge in my heart. I still felt so close to him. I couldn't stay unhappy for long with Nerys close to me though, so I shrugged it off.

"I'll just visit him later." I said.

Vic announced the main song for the night on his microphone, "Ladies, gents, and in-between folks, tonight is very special night. One we don't often have in Vegas. We're welcoming home a dear old friend o' mine." He gestured to me. "Give her a round!"

The crowd all looked to me and clapped. Some were station personnel, others were holograms, but I was embarrassed anyway.

Vic spoke again, "And she comes to us… on the Summer Wind."

The band began to play. It was my first-time hearing Vic sing Summer Wind.

Vic sang, his soothing voice echoing in the microphone. The band played, relaxed, and free.

~The summer wind… came blowin' in… from across the sea.~

He walked over to the crowd, gesturing his hand as if it were the wind. He paced over to me and Nerys.

~It lingered there…~

He gestured to me

~To touch your hair…~

He pointed coolly at Nerys. I felt a twinge of embarrassment. Nerys looked a little surprised and looked to me with a warm smile. There was something in her eye that I couldn't place. But I was too embarrassed to keep eye contact for long. Besides, she's a Captain, I'm only a Lieutenant.

~And walk with me…~

Vic walked back to the stage.

~All summer long… we sang a song… and then we strolled that golden sand.

~Two sweethearts… and the summer wind~

~Like painted kites… those days and nights… went flyin' by.~

He gestured his hand vaguely like an airplane going off.

~The world was new… beneath a blue… umbrella sky!~

~Than softer than… a piper man… one day it called to you!~

He gestured again to me from the stage, hand outstretched and smiling with a performer's charm.

~I lost you… I lost you to the summer wind…~

He sung, now down on the other side of the audience, making eye contact with a new person for each line of lyrics.

~The autumn winds… and the winter winds… they have come and gone!~

~And still the days… those lonely days… they go on and on.~

He gestured out to the exit

~And guess who sighs his lullabies through nights that never end?!~

His voice rung out as if calling to the rest of the station to hear his pain. Or maybe it was Julian's… He had arranged the party and the songs. I felt the sadness take me again. I hadn't realized it, but I had leaned closer to Nerys for comfort. She touched my shoulder knowingly which made me jump slightly and blush.

~My fickle friend… the summer wind… the summer wind…~

The band slowed down

~Warm summer wind… the summer wind…~

And it was over. We all clapped.

The band played an instrumental jazz rendition of Somthin' Stupid next. I knew that song. Julian played it for me once. At the time he had said it reminded him of how we got together. Hard to believe that was almost two years ago now…

Vic came back down to us, "Feel free to use the casino as long as ya like. I know the money ain't real out there, so I took the liberty of getting you some to play with. He handed us all a few bills.

"Aw thanks Vic!" I said.

Nog spoke up, "Don't worry, he's rakin' in the dollars thanks to his old accountant Nog."

As we all broke up to enjoy the casino, I caught Nerys looking at me with a light smile. Is she staring at me? I wondered.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Hmm?" She said. "Oh!" Then she blinked back into reality. "Sorry… I was just… thinking about something I have to do later." She smiled and seemed a little uncomfortable that I noticed.

She continued as we walked to the Casino, "It's really nice to have you back, Ezri."

"Oh, it's great to be back!" I said. "Honestly I was getting a little homesick…" I tried to be a little more charming. "Though I have great poker skills now if you want to play a game or two."

She smiled warmly, "Sure." Here I was trying ot be charming and she just gives warmth in return… This reunion was almost too much.

"By the way…" she said… "I assume you've heard about the Commander?"

I looked at her expectantly, "I don't think so."

She explained, "Admiral Beckford will be coming here to pick up Commander Vaughn. He's being promoted to Captain of a new ship on the way here from Starfleet. It's still being finished up, but, while the Admiral is here… well she and I have a proposal for you. Drop by my office at 0700?"

"Absolutely!" I said.

As we wandered to the poker table, I heard a familiar voice low voice.

"Pardon me…" Then a grunt of frustration. "Have you seen Dax?"

I turned around when I heard my name and I saw Worf.

"Worf?!" I cried out and ran to see him.

As I approached, he stabilized, "Ezri. I am glad I found you."

"It's good to see you Worf!" I hugged him with a smile. For some reason seeing him made the night feel complete.

"I am glad to see you as well." He said. "I only wish I were here just to see you."

I was concerned, "What's wrong."

"I need your help," he sighed. "Martok is dead…"

Chapter Two – Silent

As told by Ezri Dax

A Klingon civil war… again. Worf told me about how the new Chancellor killed Martok. The Klingon people didn't accept him as the leader as he took away even more of the programs keeping people fed. We now were in Kurn's new quarters. Kurn had locked himself in his room and refused to see anyone, sill claiming, perhaps even rightly, that he was Rodek, and grieved deeply over his father's death.

Worf spoke to me after dropping the news, "With Kurn in this… state… I have no one else to turn to… there are those in the Empire who did not approve of an alien in the house of Martok, as you recall. Unfortunately, with the House dishonored… people will not be so tolerant… even so… I can think of no one else I would trust more to help heal the Empire…"

I looked at the floor. I have to disappoint him… I realized.

"Worf…" I said frankly. "You know how I feel about the Empire, and you know I don't feel it's my place to interfere in its development…"

He stood and turned toward the windows, "I know… I would not ask if it were not important…."

Worf looked out the window a long time before turning back to me, his face grieved, though I doubt if anyone but me could tell, having Jadzia's memories of him.

"You were correct…" He said.

I turned my head curiously, "About what?"

He turned away again, "The Empire… it is built upon the blood of others… "The anger in his voice rose, "And led by political 'opportunists' and power-hungry men… They are… without honor. It is so much so that men with honor and are murdered for their power… There was a time… long ago, in the time of Kahless... when what it meant to be Klingon was an honorable thing… but it could not be sustained. Emperor Kahless has watched, torn by the loss of traditions in the name of progress, as I am. But the Empire has slowed us down… set us against allies…"

He turned to me with surety, and shame, "The Klingon heart is not the problem… But the Empire itself…"

He paced closer to me, kneeling down a gesture of subservience. Having been immersed in Klingon culture for two lifetimes, I knew the gesture he was making. As if he were saying he would follow me. I felt unworthy of the honor.

"I… am too sentimental about the past. Though you may be an alien and hated across the Empire… I trust you to see it through... somehow. I do not ask you to fight in the war… I only ask that… when the time comes… you use your power to help Qo'noS and that you do so as Ezri Dax, daughter of Yanas, blood sister to Jadzia of the House of Martok."

I stared at him a long moment, flooded with nostalgia, "I… alright…"

He touched my shoulders and smiled subtly, "Thank you…"

"How's your brother?" I asked, deflecting my discomfort away from the situation at hand.

He looked to Kurn's room, "He refuses to see me." He said frankly. "As it should be."

I felt pang of empathy with both of hem and headed to the room. As station counselor I was also expected to counsel passengers on occasion. One time I talked a Katarian freighter captain down from suicide. I remembered that encounter, knowing that Kurn had attempted to do the same before.

I took a deep breath, steeling myself for Klingon rage… I rung the door.

"Leave!" Called the deep-voiced Klingon.

"I only want to talk-"

"LEAVE!" He demanded.

I searched my brain for solutions. He had been in there for twelve hours, he needed to see someone. There as only one way to get him to open the door… and I wasn't a fan of the solution at all…

Butterflies flew up to my throat as I prepared anger within me. He would only respond it sounded genuine.

"This is station is my home you dishonored shuVak! You have no right to refuse!" I declared. I cringed at my words in fear and glanced at Worf. Worf nodded affirmingly, indicating I had done the right thing. After a long pause I heard him.

"Enter…" he said. I did.

The room was dark, lit only by four ritual candles. The door shut behind me and I immediately felt trapped. Worf's brother sat on his hands and knees, arms crossed in spiritual submission. It was the Klingon ceremony meant to summon a vision of Kahless. The true Kahless.

"So, you refuse my counsel, in favor of Kahless himself?" I said firmly. The fear in my voice was evident.

He glanced up at me in a scowl, "You carry no more honor than Worf…"

I put my hands behind my back, "I never claimed to carry honor as a Klingon."

He slowly tuned his face to me, staring me down, "Then you have come to offer your Federation sympathy. You cannot understand my fate."

"Don't be so sure," I said, "I know what it's like to be confused about who you are." I kneeled in front of him, sitting on my heels.

He made a disgusted face at me, "you… are soft… your heart is not Klingon."

"Is yours?" I retorted.

He looked down, "All I have known… is that I am Rodek… son of Noggra… but now all that honor was a lie… to cover the dishonor of my brother… and before that he chose to accept dishonor for our father…. To protect the Empire. All my life I have been a puppet of others… Rodek… or Kurn? They are the same man... a manipulated warrior." He spat at his own names. The spittle landed on the floor in a vile puddle. I felt a wave of disgust which I pushed away.

He continued, "The Empire itself has fallen into disarray over what it means to BE Klingon! I ask Kahless to come to me… show me how my heart beats." He looked up with spiritual angst in his eyes. "But he is silent…"

I recalled something Nerys told me, "I've noticed that, in many religions, answers don't always come directly… sometimes the answer is found in the real world. You can spend hours in meditation and be ignored, but then life itself shows you your path, if you choose to live it."

"You… are Starfleet... and a Trill. You do not believe in religion of any kind. You can't understand…" He said, rejecting me.

I decided to take a firmer hand, "So you'll just sit here… waiting yet again for someone else to tell you what to be and who you are?"

He growled and stood up with offense, "You are fragile! I could kill you for your insults."

He was pushing me away… trying to frighten me. I could be killed but I knew what I had to say. I stood up, looking him in eyes with Curzon's gaze, "Pah! If you were that Klingon, you wouldn't be begging for orders! A Klingon takes his destiny! He does not beg for it!"

He roared and nearly put his hands at my throat. Just as I had regretted angering him, he stopped. He smiled slightly, almost the way Worf does. "It's a shame we are on a Starfleet station… if this were a Klingon facility… I would be within my rights to kill you for your challenge."

He sat back down, but I could still feel my heart ramming in my chest. Gods…

"So…" I said, back to my old counseling skills, "What do you want, Kurn?"

He spat, "I am not Kurn!"

"Do you prefer Rodek then?" I asked.

He blinked at me, as if surprised I would ask him.

"I… do not know what I prefer…"

I sat again. "Then that's the task before you. Take away all that you have been taught… find out who you are."

I then stood and turned to leave, believing that I had said enough for today. But before I could leave, he asked me, "Is that what you did when you were lost?" I stopped at the door.

"Something like that…" I said.

Chapter Three – Friends in High Places

As Told by Ro Laren

I was at the bar talking to Quark. For some reason every time the Enterprise is in dock, I feel the need to have a drink. Quark and I had established a nice working relationhsip. I look the other way on harmless deals, and I get intel on all security matters he might have. Captain Kira wouldn't like it but I didn't care. I kept trying to put Captain Picard out of my mind, but I couldn't.

Quark chatted with me after pouring me a Yuridian ale, "So… all quiet in security?"

"We had a few thefts... my deputies took care of it…" I said, uncaring. I mean what does he expect? It's best for me to let the Starfleet security have a little leeway, makes them feel safer about serving under me.

"I have to say, you're quite a bit more… lenient… than our last chief. I appreciate our amicable chats." He said flirtatiously.

"Look Quark. We've been over this." I leaned forward. "I'm not interested…"

"I had to try," He winked. "But if you ever get tired of chasing that reclusive doctor of ours… you know where to find me…"

Honestly, I had come to expect this sort of thing from Quark. At least I stopped him from harassing Zee, thought at this point the entire station knows exactly what her type is, I couldn't understand why Quark still made the attempt.

Someone sat down next to me, I hadn't even seen her enter.

"A new customer! What can I get you?" Quark cried

"Guinan?" I called in surprise as my old friend sat with me.

She smiled knowingly and turned to Quark, "Show me your best drink." She leaned over to me, I'm not used to this side of the table…"

Quark poured something purple-ish blue for her, "This… is what I like to call 'The Horsehead'" named after the hu-mon name for one of the largest nebulas in the galaxy!"

She took a sip, "Not bad, thank you."

As Quark walked away, Guinan turned to me, "I've had better."

I couldn't help but smile. Guinan always had better taste in drinks than Quark.

After a pause for silence, which happens often when you talk to Guinan, I said, "I… didn't think anyone from the Enterprise would want to see me…"

"Oh?" She said. "Why's that?"

I felt a little annoyed, the answer was obvious, wasn't it? "I didn't exactly leave on good terms."

"You left to do what you thought was right. There are those in the Federation who will respect that, even if they don't agree with your choice." She said.

I responded, "What do you think?"

She smirked, "…I think you're someone who lost your home… and didn't want to see someone else lose theirs. Especially not to the same people who took yours. That's understandable"

"But I betrayed everyone. I let them down" I said with annoyance.

"I see… so you regret what you did?" She asked.

I started to see where she was going, "No… it's not that." I said.

"Then why should it matter what others think of you?" She asked.

I sighed, "I guess it doesn't…"

"Not at all? You seem pretty miserable. No friends at all after two years on a station of a thousand people? I can only think you must feel shame over what you did. Why else would you hide yourself?" She said.

My mind turned to Julian suddenly, and his own isolation, and I didn't say anything.

She smiled knowingly, "You're not in Starfleet anymore. If someone wants to judge you by Starfleet rules… it's their loss. Why should it be yours?" She spoke as ifi t were just a calm fact of life she were imparting on me. I pondered her words, feeling vulnerable. She had a way of making you feel completely exposed.

Guinan stood, "I'll see you later, my friend." She emphasized 'friend' to remind me that I still had one. I couldn't help but smile slightly.

Chapter Four – Understanding

As Told by Ezri Dax

I was pretty nervous to meet with the Admiral. I had no clue what they wanted to talk to me about or what it had to do with Commander Vaughn… or I guess that's Captain Vaughn… I shuddered at the thought of him in the captain's chair… but maybe he had grown as a commander over the past two years… I adjusted my uniform as I entered the office.

I passed Vaughn on way in. I nodded to him and said, "Captain…" nervously.

He stopped a moment at me and eyed me, sizing me up again. Then he just grunted, "hrmph…" and continued to walk to the docking ring.

"Ezri." Nerys spoke warmly. I relaxed when I saw both her and Admiral Beckford smiling. Though I was shocked by how short Admiral Beckford was. She wasn't much taller than me. Maybe a few centimeters? She was still very imposing, but the way Nerys talked about her made it a surprise to see that the she was actually shorter than Nerys.

"Welcome Lieutenant, "Said the Admiral."

I stood at attention, "Admiral!"

"At ease." She said. I relaxed, putting my arms behind my back nervously. A single hair from the top of my head fell in front of my face. I felt my face get hot as I brushed it aside.

"As you know," the Admiral began. "Commander Vaughn has been promoted to Captain. He is leaving to oversee the finishing touches on a new ship, which he will Captain. However, this leaves Deep Space Nine without an executive officer. We have no shortage of officers any longer, simply a shortage of experience. While the station does not always require an executive, we will still need another command level officer."

She pulled out a padd and quoted, "'Ezri Dax showed exceptional skill in leading others, even during missions for which she apparently has no aptitude. It is the opinion of this Captain, that she is more than fit for command duties, should she choose to pursue them.' Signed Captain Jean-Luc Picard."

I smiled at hearing such praise from Captain Picard, I didn't know I had done anything special.

Beckford continued, "The Captain particularly praised your diplomatic ability during negotiations with the Kessok. Commander Data even felt that the situation wouldn't have ended so peacefully without your help."

I spoke, "The Kessok wouldn't talk to Picard, only to our 'silicon-Captain.'" Counselor Troi had no luck reading their emotions, since they are so different, so Data chose to take me to help instead. I'm sure I did what any officer would do." I tried to keep my tone professional without stammering.

Nerys just smiled and looked at her computer. She quoted a different log, "'Without the assistance of the Lieutenant, it is my firm belief that we would now face conflict with the Kessok people. Lieutenant Dax diffused the situation by meeting the Kessok's emotions with understanding rather than confusion.' Signed Commander Data."

For some reason I felt the need to deflect my good friend's praise, "Well they had just been through a collective trauma and manipulation, it was only natural that they wouldn't trust us. They were barely certain we were lifeforms, just as we weren't certain of them, and they're surrounded on all sides by carbon-based lifeforms. I just showed them we knew what they were feeling and would respect that… I'm sure Captain Picard could have done that, too."

"But he didn't," Nerys said, "You did."

"I suppose." I said. Nerys praising me made it difficult to not to smile, but the praise still crawled under my skin strangely, as if I didn't belong there.

Beckford spoke up now, "Have you ever considered a career in Command, Lieutenant?"

I blinked, "No, not really… I mean… I guess I wondered if I could do it after the Borg Incident we had here, but… I've never really thought it was something I could keep up."

"Well," she said, "It seems that most of your colleagues disagree."

She paced around the table and closer to me, "There are many officers who we could call on… but few with the experience of nine lifetimes or the ability to reach out to others that you have. As a center of political action, and a jumping off point for exploration of the Gamma Quadrant, Deep Space Nine would greatly benefit from a new first officer. Captain Kira and I would like that officer to be you."

I couldn't believe my ears. "Me?" I said.

Nerys nodded to me proudly.

"You would have to take the Commander's test to accept the commission, since you didn't train for it at Starfleet Medical. If you pass, you will earn the rank of Lieutenant Commander, and be eligible to accept our proposal."

I couldn't help but pace away to the corner, looking at the floor… "I don't know… I've never been much a of a leader." I said.

"Haven't you?" Nerys said.

I blinked, feeling strange again.

Beckford held her hand up, "You don't have to decide now. Take the test. If you pass, you can still turn down the proposal with a promotion. The choice is yours. I will be remaining on the station to coordinate some matters with the Enterprise, both your Captain and I will be here to review your results."

I nodded firmly, "Okay… I'll do my best…" Feeling uncertain.

As I turned to leave, she stopped me, "And Lieutenant?" I turned back to her carefully, a light fear coming over me. "If you fail the test… take it again. You only need to pass once. Some of the greatest commanders faield the test many times, and even started in different career paths… Admiral Janeway studied in science… Captain De Soto began in tactical… in fact I, myself, was a counselor like you, at first."

That floored me and I blurted, "You were a counselor?" The shock in my voice was clear as day and I was very afraid that I had offended her."

She declared, "Counseling and Command are closer fields than you might think. We must put ourselves aside for the good of the patient. Sometimes we have to give them a firm hand, other times a soft heart. Diplomacy, even war… it's all done by people… and if you can understand people… you can understand Command. And perhaps the very life which we seek out."

I felt a twinkle of inspiration, "I… I always thought so, too." I had never heard an Admiral say something like that. The whole reason I took a Counseling path was exactly what she had said, to understand people… to help them. It's the foundation of everything, in my mind. For the first time… I truly wondered why I didn't choose a braver path through the Academy…

Chapter Five – Failure

As told by Ezri Dax

I took my first test almost immediately. I had few patients that afternoon so I could take the three-hour test without losing any duty time. I paced in front of the Holosuite for the programs. I had already been through the other tests, the last was the final command test. It's purported to be the most difficult because it uses people you know and mimics them as closely as possible. On just about every Starfleet posting you will have, you'll grow close to the people around you, so the test is meant to reflect that by putting you in a dangerous situation with those people.

I took a sharp breath and began…

The scenario: I'm commanding the Defiant. Nog is my engineer, Terin is my pilot, Ro Laren at tactical, and Diala Tylittle at science and operations.

Diala reported, "I have an energy wave at 186 mark 205, Captain!"

"On screen!" I said.

"It's huge!" She said fearfully, as it came on screen. A gigantic purple mass of gas and light. You could feel it's power. "It's moving at warp factor 9.9!"

"Shields!" I said.

Ro obliged, "Shields at maximum, Captain."

"Brace for impact!" I yelled.

The wave hit the shields and we all shook in our seats, as the ship creaked and groaned from the stress.

The ship continued to rumble as Ro reported, "Shields are barely holding! At this rate we'll lose them in less than five minutes! The Defiant's hull will crack like an egg in these forces!"

I had to act fast. Tobin's piloting skills came to mind.

"Crewman Tylittle?" I said. "Scan the wave for irregularities. Areas where the density is lower, mass, etcetera. We might be able to stretch out our shields to the end of the wave if we tun the ship to the weaker areas!"

She scanned and sure enough found them, "I'm detecting multiple such areas!"

"Transfer to data to the helm!" I ordered excitedly.

Terin examined the helm, he spoke nervously, "Captain? These aren't nearly enough to get the Defiant through in one piece…."

I thought a moment and my adrenaline didn't fail me.

"What if we…" I leaned in close to look at the data. "We take a shuttle craft ahead into the less dense areas… we can modify the shields to deflect the energy like a plow, making the way for the Defiant."

"That could work!" Terin said. "But… forces will be even stronger on the shuttle… it almost certainly wouldn't survive…"

I felt a realization and a nameless fear came over me. "But the Defiant will… We need a good pilot at the helm… Terin…" I looked at him… His eyes looked so real… I knew he was a hologram but one of my good friends is a hologram…

Terin stammered, "I… I don't want to… Isn't there another pilot who can do the job?"

There was only one other person on the ship with enough experience to do it. Me.

"Okay… you stay here… I'll take the shuttle…" I said.

"Thank you…" He touched my shoulder. I left for the shuttle bay quickly.

The computer called out as I found myself there, "Warning: Shield failure in two minutes."

I entered the shuttle and hit my combadge, "Dax to Bridge, I'm in the shuttle. I'm modifying the shields…" My console beeped as I hit it with great determination. I had to admit I was feeling a little excited. This would likely mean my simulated death… but still. I would save everyone. That's what a Captain's job is right? Be willing to make any sacrifice for your crew? I felt like I was talking myself into it, but somehow, I felt rebellious sacrificing myself like this.

I took the shuttle out. It was so much worse turbulence than even the real Terin's Freedom programs. I felt a slight smirk don my lips as I charged ahead to save the day.

"Warning: Shuttle shield strength at half capacity"

I checked my display… it was working… but I missed several less dense areas… I wasn't sure we could make it.

"Almost there, Captain!" Terin said. "You're a hero."

I smirked at him, like he was an innocent child, though he couldn't see me, "Oh now I thought it was my job to try and comfort you, not the other way around."

Damn, this program is good, I thought, though I wasn't totally sure Terin would say that in real life.

"Warning: shields failing." The computer warned.

My sensors shut down as the ship crunched around me. I didn't know if the Defiant made it, but we were just cleaning the anomaly when my sensors went dead. The shuttle then exploded.

The holograms disappeared except for the chair, which did after I stood up.

"Simulation over, results recorded for review by commanding officers." The computer cried.

I let out a breath of relief. It would be only a few hours before I heard the results.

I got the padd later from a crewman. I checked the results, feeling confident… But I had failed… The failure stung a lot more than I expected. What's worse is they don't tell you what you did wrong, so I was left to figure it out on my own, and only guess at which part of the test was the problem…. Once I came to peace with it though, it started to feel more inevitable. I mean what was I thinking? Sure, I can command in a crisis but that was just because I had all these memories within me to help. That doesn't mean I'm command material. Stick to counseling Ezri. But that kind of talk didn't help me feel better.

I took a walk to cheer myself up and found my way to the Infirmary to see Julian. He was still a comforting person to be around. And Nerys wasn't available. As I walked in, a little slumped and discouraged, I glanced around looking for him. He wasn't anywhere. There was a nurse, however. He was a young man, rank of Ensign. He has slightly pointed ears which made me wonder if he had Vulcan blood in him.

He was examining the research station all alone and barely noticed I had come in. Once he processed my arrival he stood up.

"O-oh!" He stood at attention. He seemed almost as nervous as I usually am…"

"At ease Ensign… Where's Julian?" I said glancing around the room casually.

He cleared his throat, "The Doctor is in the back running scans on…" He looked confused as turned to the back surgery room, then turned back. "Actually, she looked kind of like you… Is she your twin?"

I shrugged, "Ah… Zee… she is I suppose… from a certain point of view."

I walked that way but then stopped and turned back to him,

"I haven't seen you around before, what's your name?" I asked curiously.

He stumbled back up again, "Ensign Simon Tarses, Assistant Doctor, particularly in areas of research. I came on about two weeks ago after finally graduating Starfleet Medical."

"Finally?" I asked.

He looked down… ashamed of something, "I… wasn't allowed to apply for full training for five years after an… application issue… My professors were unusually hard on me and my graduation was delayed. But I was able to serve as a nurse on Starbase 518 during the war. Doctor Bashir asked for some assistance about a month ago, I arrived as that assistance.

"I see." I said empathetically, "Well I'm-"

"Lieutenant Ezri Dax, Station counselor, recently transferred from the Enterprise." He said.

I was surprised by his knowledge, and a little unnerved. He seemed to notice that, "S-Sorry Counselor… I've been looking over the medical records… I can put a face to name very easily… it's in my blood…"

"I thought Vulcans had an easier time remembering words than faces?" I said, recalling my cross-species comparative psychology course at the Academy.

He looked nervous, "My… paternal grandfather was... Romulan. Romulans are notorious for never forgetting names or faces… That's where I get it from…" He said reluctantly. As if to reassure me, he then said, "But… but my abilities aren't as advanced as the average Romulan."

I felt bad for him… He had clearly faced a lot of bigotry for being part Romulan… that's not his fault.

I reassured him, "Still that's a pretty cool ability. I'm impressed."

He looked down, as if he didn't believe me, but accepted my praise anyway with a nod.

I pointed to the surgery room. "I'll go see Julian now," And smiled awkwardly.

I wandered into the surgery room. When I entered a saw Julian, Lusara, and Zee. Julian had Zee laying in an open examination tube. He was chastising her.

"You're lucky it didn't let the EMH deal with you…" He criticized. "With all the alcohol you drink, I nearly assumed you came in here just to treat a hangover."

Lusara questioned curiously, "Isn't the EMH for emergencies?"

"It's an emergency to me if you interrupt my research for a simple hangover." Julian said, only acknowledging Lu for a moment before turning his ire back to Zee. "Unfortunately, it looks like your physiology is out of phase. That's the source of your headaches."

"What's that mean?" Zee grunted.

Julian grumbled, "It means that your physiology is tuned to your native universe. The longer you spend outside of it, the more this will happen."

"IM NOT GOING BACK!" She yelled.

Julian yelled back uncharacteristically, "Of course you're not! That just means I'll have to devise another treatment for you… In the meantime, a pain-cloaker will have to suffice." He injected her with a hypo and continued, "And might I recommend a counselor for that awful temper of yours?"

"Have anyone in mind for the job?" I asked.

He jumped in surprise, "Ezri! I didn't hear you come in." He said.

"Hey you." Zee said flirtatiously to me.

I just rolled my eyes and smiled dismissively. For some reason her advances didn't bother me so much anymore. Not that I was interested in her…. Aside from looking just like me she's too… young. I felt at least a decade older than her thanks to Dax.

Speaking of seeming older, Julian seemed like his personality had aged ten years in the last two. He was grumpy, reclusive, almost like something deep had affected him, but he warmed up when he saw me, though the anxiety in his eyes shot up at the same time. I began to feel a gnawing sense of guilt… and regret. Still clearly, he cared if he bothered to set up a welcome party. I would have rather he come to it too, though… I pushed those feelings aside for now and approached Zee who was sitting up now.

She spoke, "Heard you failed a test?"

"Something like that…" I said cautiously. "Word travels fast…" She was the last person I expected any sympathy from so I didn't want to reveal anything more vulnerable.

Julian walked away to review some scans while Zee paced the room, eveling at the pain meds, "Damn… we don't have anything like this in my universe. Nicely done, pretty boy." She said to Julian. Julian didn't react to the insult so I could only assume it had become his forced nickname. Now that Zee was standing, I had a good look at her. She had a black leather jacket, white tank, and her usual leather boots and pants and chain. Her hair was shaved closely with a guard, likely the shortest on the station. It was funny, I grew my hair out a little, she shaved it down…

As she was about to leave with Lusara behind her, I began to wonder what they could possibly be doing together. We're they friends? Didn't Zee hate her? I guess I missed a lot.

"Oh, and worms?" Zee said looking at me.

"Worms?" I said with barely concealed irritation.

"Yeah you." She said. "Next time you take that test, use this." She took the curved knife she always carried at threw it to me. I nearly panicked but managed to catch it. Thank heavens for Curzon and Emony's reflexes…

Without even turning his head Julian pointed at Zee and yelled, "No throwing knives in my Infirmary!"

"Don't you need this knife, Zee?" I asked her.

"Eh… I barely use it anymore…" She said. "Besides…" She pulled out a long and thin serrated dagger from her boot that I hadn't even seen.

"I've got a bigger one," She spoke with a sultry tone and pretended to lick the knife sensually.

She then turned to leave and said, "C'mon Lulu, let's go!"

Lu looked confused a moment, turning between the two of us. She chose to wave goodbye with a certain giddiness and said, "Bye Ezri!"

And just like that they were gone. I stared at the knife she gave me. It almost seemed Klingon, which only made me dislike it more, but on the other hand she had more or less established herself as my sister so it also felt kind of nice, though I think we both saw each other as the younger sister. I chose to slip the knife in my pocket for now and walked to Julian. He was furiously typing on the monitor, engrossed.

"Hi, Julian!" I smiled. I felt as nervous as I used to feel around him all over again.

"Hello Ezri," he said. He didn't turn to look at me, "Forgive me, I'm just going over Zee's scans…"

There was more on that monitor than just Zee's data, I went to Starfleet Medical, too, I knew. Still, I let it slide, it hardly seemed important. Actually, it looked as though he were studying the Kessok, a worthy goal.

"I liked your choice of music for the party yesterday." I laughed awkwardly, trying to engage him.

He smirked knowingly, only glancing at me, "I thought you might appreciate the…" He made a face, distracted by his work, he grunted at it with concerned interest. "Appreciate the… parallels…" he finished.

I felt a wave of depression. I knew I was being a bit of an alarmist, but I felt like I was losing a friend. Then again, I'm the one who chose to leave… There was that guilt again…

"Well… I'll let you get back to it…" I said, trying to conceal my disappointment.

As I started to walk out, he looked to me and called after, "Ezri?"

I turned around, feeling a surge of relief, "Yeah?"

"Thanks for stopping by," He smiled. With a beard his smile seemed less innocent, more mature somehow.

"Anytime," I said. Feeling strange. As I left my mind returned to the failure of the test. It hit even worse after that, with a feeling of loneliness accompanying it. My mind began to drift to memories of the Enterprise…

Chapter Six – Arbiter

As told by Ezri Dax, remembering events from just a few weeks earlier

My mind drifted to the negotiations with the Kessok. The USS Sovereign had just stopped Legate Matan from destroying another star and the intermediary Neb-lus had worked with Captain Picard to arrange a meeting. The Kessok had elected to wait and see who remained victorious and deal with that party, and they were extremely isolationist. They also refused to speak to anyone other than Commander Data. At great urging they gave permission for one aid. Counselor Troi was not as useful as her empathic abilities didn't seem to work on the Kessok. Still, I didn't know why Data chose me over other officers.

We beamed down to the planet. The atmosphere is… breathable… by some definitions. But I had an oxygen mask to put on occasionally. Dax was also having a rough day processing the memories I shared with Terin, so I had my cane. After we beamed down, I almost immediately began to cough. The Kessok did process oxygen, but their atmosphere was loaded with sulfur compounds. It was like walking near a volcano but around the whole planet. Strangely though, the planet wasn't hot on the surface, in fact it was rather cold. The Kessok lived largely underground since their star was so finicky. I adapted to the atmosphere just enough after a moment, though my lungs hurt. Data was of course unconcerned with the sulfur.

"Do you think the Kessok… would consider coughing in their atmosphere insulting?" I asked nervously.

Data took my rhetorical seriously, "That is most unlikely. My understanding of the Kessok is that they have very little in the way of protocol for outside races. It is likely that your mere existence among them will cause them pause. I doubt they will be focused on your manners."

I smirked, "Good… If I'm the only one who cares about the way I act, that's much easier." I coughed again and took a breath from the mask. At least I didn't need it on 100% of the time…

The surface of the planet was an eerie blue with grey rock. There was total cloud coverage but no rain of any kind. We approached the entrance to the Kessok capital. It was a small bunker from what I could see. It opened once we were a few meters away.

Out came a Kessok wearing the most ornate dress I had ever seen. They had an incredibly triangular figure, with a large chest like a body builder. They too wore red and had coiled horns rather than the straight horns that Neb-lus had.

Data made a child-like look, "Greetings! I am Lieutenant Commander Data! This is Lieutenant Dax, one of our counselors.

The Kessok individual looked us over. I could only guess that they were nervous, frightened even. They spoke, "I… am Hig-lian, FirSSSt arbiter of the KeSSSok Confederation." Their voice was melodic, and higher than I expected. I began to notice the rings of jewelry around the Arbiter's horns, and some sort of cosmetic powder darkening their blue compound eyes. It was almost as if they were trying to make themselves look like they were made of crystals and gemstones incased in rock. I thought it was beautiful.

"Are you…" They asked, "Typical examples of outSSSiderS?"

Data looked to me and I to him a moment before Data responded, "No. I would not say so. I am a synthetic lifeform: an android. Lieutenant Dax is a Trill who is joined with another lifeform. We are both exceptions rather than the rule.

Hig-lian squinted, "I SSSee…" They motioned us to follow, and we did. We entered an elevator which lowered slowly. The lights were dim and dark. Hig-lian breathed an audible sigh of relief to be in the dark. Though, to me, even the surface could use some light. We stood in somewhat close quarters, and I noticed the Hig-lian was around two full meters tall. I felt very tiny all the sudden. I began to think of Garak and how very much he would hate this place. Cold and cramped? Hell no, he would say. Well, he'd say it more eloquently than that.

The elevator doors opened, and I entered a security reception point. We stepped into what looked like a decontamination chamber which activated when we entered it. The decon wave felt a bit like a hot sun running over me but as soon as it was over it was cold again. There were three Kessok behind a protective glass shielding. They had wildly varying heights and each of their horns appeared different. Some bent downward, other's spiraled, some pointed straight up. Each Kessok seemed to have varying degrees of personal adornments. Some appeared to be wearing a kind of makeup, others jewelry. Some wore only a little while other wore a great deal like the First Arbiter.

Data went through after I left and Hig-lian and I were by ourselves outside the chamber. As soon as I stepped out, I saw a huge column of flowing lava behind a protective metal casing which provided heat like a star might. It was in the center was a long cylindrical chamber that stretched very far out. I could see crystals in the soot-black walls. Toward the bottom of the cylinder-shaped cavern were what appeared to be mines. Many shorter Kessok were working in them, though the work didn't seem particularly hard for them. The Kessok used their claws to dig into the rock easily. I had to wonder how threatening they were in combat if they could dig through rock so easily. Worf would love to face one in battle, I'm sure. The top of the chamber had what appeared to be screens with various news programs playing. A great deal of them showed the Sovereign and the Enterprise solving the crisis as well as the new Cardassian-Kessok hybrid ships. A lot of other Kessok were climbing the walls with little protective gear. This was probably because there were many tubules coming out of the walls and leading into what I could only guess were more chambers of varying sizes. There were many cylindrical buildings of a sort of varying sizes as well. Much like the Kessok themselves, some had ornate decoration, others had a simpler look. Hig-lian and I were in one of these watching hovercraft go by as we waited for Data.

I was staring out the window, feeling like a little girl. This… This is why I'm on the Enterprise, I realized to myself. The chamber was amazing. I had no idea there was a society like this in all the galaxy! I'm still very giddy about it honestly. I was so curious what their social structures were like that I couldn't help but ask.

"Do you have a caste system? It looks like further down there are miners and further up there more administrators?" I spoke with total curiosity, but I could only guess if it would translate.

Hig-lian walked to the window in the floating corridor we were in and stood next to me. They looked uncomfortable.

They blinked as they replied, "No… people choSSSe where to go or may live with a miX of duties if they wiSSh. This is Gilis-tock, our Capital City. It iSSS known for its large mining operation. Mining is conSSSidered quite preSStigiouSSS."

"Really?" I said. "In the Federation, in most races' history, mining has been considered a lower duty. Though it isn't that way any longer."

"Lower?" They asked in confusion. "You mean it was preSSStigiouSSS and now it is not?"

I blinked, "Oh no… mining isn't considered desirable Arbiter."

"But you SSSaid… lower." They seemed confused and suspicious. Almost offended.

I searched my brain trying to find the answer. Then it occurred to me, "you said mining is prestigious. In my language, to say something is 'lower' is to say it isn't as desirable, but in yours… is it considered praise to call something 'lower'?"

"Of courSSSe." They said. "Why wouldn't it be?"

I paced and pondered my training in the psychology of language, "Maybe because your people evolved underground? You seem to live by drawing power as much from the sun as you do from geothermal sources… To be further down in the depths is to be closer to your ideal?

"I SSSee." The arbiter said. "ThiSSS language iSSSue will be a problem."

Hig-lian glanced at me again and continued, "There are many different mining dutieSSS. Some, eSSpecially the young, wish to eXplore the underground. OtherS create art out of SSSuch formations. The creator of our SSSolarformer technology was a geo-sculptor who took up the taSSSk of sculpting SSStellar material."

I glowed, "An entire society… evolving in the underground to become a solarforming culture… amazing." I said, with stars in my eyes. Oh, what a wonderful pun. I'll have to see if I can make Nerys laugh with that one sometime. I doubt I can though.

"I am…. Not uSSSed to a golen being so… talkative." Hig-lian said. "MoSSSt golen that I know eXpreSSS themselves in other waySSS."

"You'll have to explain 'golen' to me." I said.

They seemed confused again, "Literally it meanSSS 'one who fits in the cracks.' But it haSSS come to refer to anyone SShort in SSStature. It iSSS becoming leSSS so, but most golen are shorter and SSStouter. It iSSS helpful in mining, which iSSS also common among golen."

"Huh… Interesting…" I said. I didn't fully understand, the term they used seem to mean something more than being short.

"Being handicapped aSSS you are would alSSSo be considered SShameful, but many golen consider kilen, like myself, to be SSSuperfluouSSS and overly-talkative. Many of the Arbitration Council will be surprised by you I SSSuSSSpect.

"Wait…" I questioned. "So, in your society is it considered better to be shorter?" I felt a surge of pride in my own height, which was a welcome feeling, though it didn't sound like golen had the perfect life.

"In some waySSS, yeSS. But many kilen find golen a little bit…unkempt." They said.

"I see…" I tried to be as diplomatic as possible. "Do I seem… unkempt?"

Hig-lian looked out the window, "No… but there are many who will aSSSume you are such a way. MoSSSt of our countrieSSS are organized between golen and kilen. It seemSSS perfectly natural to uSSS… but neither you nor your Commander Data are from thiSSS planet… it iSSS apparent we are… different from carbon-baSSSed life. Many will not take kindly to that alone. The other ArbiterSSS are largely kilen, but the few golen will enjoy your presence, I think… Many of them are nonconforming aSSS well."

I was starting to understand why Data brought me along… If the Kessok are going to understand the outside, they need to see those who are different from them. It would ease them into the culture shock.

I couldn't help but smirk at the idea of anyone assuming that I am any good at things like mining or that I'm some sort of recluse who doesn't know what she is talking about. It might be refreshing to be underestimated for different reasons than usual. Being short and generally… well… soft… a lot of people underestimate me. Hell, even I do.

Data finally exited the chamber.

"What took so long?" I asked.

Data answered dutifully, "I had to explain the nature of my positronic brain and body. A few of the decontamination technicians wished to examine my chassis."

"You mean your… body?" Hig-lian asked, looking confused and worried about Data's reaction.

"Yes. I believe I said that." Data said innocently.

Hig-lian sighed, "I apologize if they were overly touchy with you, Data." They seemed annoyed. "Golen tend to prefer touch to wordSSS and often do so without aSSSking." IT occurred to me that most of the decon crew were 'golen' Kessok. I hadn't noticed that.

"Oh, I was not offended." Data replied happily. "Many species I have encountered are curious about my construction."

Hig-lian seemed to relax a little now, "Good. Follow me."

We traveled the tubules to one of the largest buildings in the upper section. Inside, we saw a large spiral staircase which led down to the council chamber. A large round table with several bronze framed computer screens sat before us. Bronze, red, and purple seem to feature heavily in Kessok architecture. I started to feel a bit nervous which made me lean on my cane for support.

Just as Hig-lian said, most of the Arbitration Council were made up of taller 'kilan' Kessok, but there were around ten 'golen' Kessok to the forty kilen Kessok. As for their body shapes outside of height, it was as diverse as you could expect. Variations in horn size and shape, breast size, weight, body curvature. All as diverse as on any other world.

"Greetings! I am Commander Data, this is Lieutenant Ezri Dax," said my dutiful android friend.

The Kessok seemed far more interested in me, they kept eyeing me like I was some sort of spectacle. I couldn't decide if knowing why made it worse or better. Either way I found talking much more difficult than I had expected.

Hig-lian began, "These are the firSSSt of many diplomatic viSSSitors to be SSSent by the Federation."

I took a sharp breath and 'bit the bullet' as Julian would say, "We want to assure you that the Federation isn't a hostile or expansionary force. Even the Cardassians you encountered aren't aligned with their government. We have no interest in disrupting your lives, and we will leave you alone if you require… but we hope we can establish a dialogue with you instead."

One of the kilan Kessok stood up. They had an ornate headdress around their flat horns with purple pants made of a strange fabric I'm sure Lusara or Garak could describe better. There didn't seem to be any expectation for dress as they were totally shirtless.

They spoke in a lower voice than Hig-lian, with great suspicion and not as hard 'S' sounds as them, "I do not See how that can be true. A great many carbon-baSed lifeform have SuspiScious and Secretive behavior. These RomulanS… and KlingonS? You allied with Slave empireS to fight in a war.

Data jumped in, "That war was against a much larger and infinitely more threatening foe. In fact, they had an unscrupulous slave policy which their society, until recently, had been entirely based upon."

One of the golen council members spoke, "Then how come your own intelligence operations condoned attempted genocide of the FounderSSS?" They wore a one-piece dress which reached only to their mid thighs and had no other adornments.

I answered, "That war left a lot of people frightened and vulnerable. The Dominion were willing to do almost anything to win, even sacrificing their own soldiers. There were those in the Federation who lost sight of their morality as our death count rose. Still, the disease was cured when the doctor who found the disease was able to get the cure from those who made it. The Federation also didn't create the weapons ourselves, it was the work of an independent group. Even so… we aren't proud of it."

"HoneSSty… Good." Said the golen counselor.

"RidiculouS!" Said the still standing kilan Councilor. "They are just a Secretive and dangerouS aS these other carbon formS. They will eventually betray uS! We must protect our SystemS and attack now!

My adrenaline shot up when I heard 'attack.' I had no idea they were considering attacking us…

One of the other counselors of average height spoke up. They were lanky, with horns which pointed up and a sort of red romper outfit, "They did dEEstrOy several of our ships." This Kessok did not have an obvious status as kilan or golen to my eye, but my eye is admittedly untrained. They did not emphasize their 'S-es' but rather the vowels of their words. The universal translator must be processing their accents strangely. I could only hope it wouldn't become a problem.

The last golen counselor spoke up again, "If they were in OUr pOsition, would they not do the Same?"

Data interjected, "I was present during the destruction of many of their ships. I assure you the Captain of the Sovereign did everything he could to prevent the destruction of those ships where it was possible."

The entire council seemed shocked by what Data said for a moment.

Hig-lian broke the silence, "Data… why do you truSSSt these carbon-based forms? Did you not have to fight for your rightSSS?"

Data seemed to feel complimented, "You have looked up my past! I am honored. It is true that I once had to bring my rights to the Federation court system. With the assistance of two of my carbon-based commanders, my rights were established. Then and, onward, I have learned that most lifeforms in the Federation will do the right thing, even if they lose their way. I aspire to be more like those commanders in my quest to be more human."

The neutral appearing arbiter questioned him, "YoU wish to be more humAn? Why be something you Are nOt?"

"My creator was human. I suppose that is one reason. I was not designed to be different; I was designed to be like a human in as many ways as possible." Data said.

"They build their Silicon life to be more like them… the epitome of SSelf-abSorption." Said the confrontational kilen Kessok.

I spoke up again, trying to recover the situation, "Data wasn't created to be a slave though, he was created to be himself. You could also say that his father created him so that he would strive to understand life that's different from him. That's actually Starfleet's entire mission, and that's why we're here… we want to understand you... despite our differences. If we've learned anything as a society, it's that our differences shouldn't be what divide us."

"Why do you require so many weaponS to do that?" They responded suspiciously.

"Our weapons are for defense. In case we run into life like the Dominion who are hostile to us. Unfortunately, we've run into many hostile species over the centuries…" I said regretfully. I extended an olive branch. "Would I be right in guessing that you have had the same issues? You seem very concerned about staying isolated."

All the Kessok stared at me, and I felt a bit like I had just been pulled out into the sunlight.

The different golen counselor spoke up, "They have a point… We arm our own ships for protection, not for war." This arbiter had an elderly and heavy-set body with very simple brown clothing, but intense eye makeup of purple and green shades.

"Typical golen attitude. Always reaching acroSSS to touch your comradeSSS…" Said the suspicious counselor.

The current speaker jeered at them, I think… their expression are hard to read, "PerhapSS SSo Yil-dan! But if I may propose another 'golen' attitude… Perhaps we ought to diSpense with the debAting and turn to actionSS…"

They came over to shake my hand, apparently having learned the standard human greeting, "It iSSS good to see another golen in diplomaCCy."

I stood from the chair slowly, having trouble standing, and shook their hand. Their skin was very firm, almost like a reptile. "Maybe we can show youourship? Your citizen, Neb-lus, has already seen the vessel. Why don't we show you how we live?

Data was intrigued, "An excellent idea Counselor. I will consult the captain."

The suspicious kilen counselor yelled, "Not SSSo faSSSt! We should expect you to see how we live too… teSSSt your ability to understand uSSS! Leave one person here. No guard!"

Data and I gave one another a worried look.

The golen shaking my hand, who still hadn't let go of it I realized, spoke, "It would eStablish your truSt of uSS."

"We shall return to our ship and discuss the matter with our Captain." Data announced. We did so.

Once we returned to our ship, I practically begged the captain to let me beam to the surface.

"Captain… I'd like to volunteer to be tested by the Kessok. I represent an enigma to their society, if I can prove I'm as capable as they are to live in their world, to understand them… I could go a long way." I said.

Picard finished reading the Kessok's full proposal on his ready room computer, "I'm afraid not lieutenant. Given your recent injury, you may be more susceptible to the difficult atmosphere, especially in the denser caverns. The work they wish to put our officer through is also very intense… it would not be the best showing if you were to have a flare up…"

"Captain… please…"

Picard rose his hand, "I'm sorry, my decision is made… Now I understand your feelings. It sounds like the adventure of a lifetime… but there will be other adventures, Lieutenant.

I nodded, feeling quite a bit sadder than I expected, "I guess I just… feel connected to these people somehow. They don't give a thought to things that we take for granted… but they're still so much like us. I feel like I can reach them… and I feel…"

He finished for me, "You feel responsible for this mission, and you're unwilling to let anyone else suffer when it seems like your task…"

I blinked… I wasn't used to Captain Picard being so insightful, but he was right.

He continued, "Remember our mission to Uliar Nine?"

I smiled, "My first away mission after I recovered…."

He poured a little more tea into his mug, "You were so determined to reach that communications tower that you limped in the sand in a terrible heat. Andwhen you got there, despite your condition, you refused treatment until the others were beamed aboard and treated first."

I remembered the mission. An ancient dampening field had fallen over the planet which was long dead from a cataclysmic war. Two of the Ensigns I was commanding were injured on our way to reach the tower. The local wildlife rose out of the ground and threatened to eat us, but a single target wasn't enough of a threat. In retrospect, the security officer could have done the job easier, but I refused to endanger the crew any further. It's always been like this… I constantly sacrifice so that others can feel better and excel. When I was a kid, I put my feelings aside to help my brothers, even when I resented it (which I did a lot as a kid). I did the same thing on that mission and when I helped Terin, and even when I joined Starfleet medical… or when I chose to be joined…

Picard leaned in closer, speaking more gravely, "As Captain, it's my responsibility to see that the best crew member is chosen for the job in order to make sure we all come out safely. As much as I'd like to go down there myself…"

"Not that Will would allow that." I smirked.

"And he shouldn't." Picard agreed. "I'm the Captain. I'm needed on the bridge… and I'm getting older." He changed the subject as he confronted his age. "However, I do believe you've made wonderful progress reaching the Kessok. I would have you join Commander Data and Neb-lus in greeting our guest here.

"Yes, sir." I said.

The guest we escorted was none other than Yil-dan: the skeptical and confrontational Kessok. We had been all over the ship. Engineering, the bridge, the school, the holodeck, even the arboretum. The trip ended in the Mess Hall. As we entered, Yel-din looked around at all the monitors.

"Why do you diSSSplay the outSSSide?" They asked, referring to the star view.

Data answered him, "This ship's predecessor was constructed with a large forward star view which our crew expressed fondness for. That contemplative atmosphere was something which Guinana, the proprietor of this establishment, preferred."

I finished, explaining the emotional aspects, "It's a reminder of why we're out here. To explore, discover, learn and grow. And it's a place to remember our homes and our small size in the universe. It even evokes memories." I didn't realize how much admiration I had for this little 'Ten Forward' until I heard my own voice.

Yil-dan nodded, "I SSee. I rarely look to the SStars… but the view is much like the great cryStal caveS of Gilis-tock's outskirts… I can see the value…"

We chose a table to sit at, one with the largest viewport.

Guinan was there in a flash, "can I get you anything?"

They darted their vision to her, squinting. "Do you think I'm incapable of doing SSSo myself?"

I tried to help them understand, "In many of our cultures, it's considered polite to offer anyone something to eat or drink when they're visiting."

"Oh… I SSSee" They nodded, retracting their hostility. "I don't know what you can offer a SSSilicon based lifeform. We do not ingeSt food as you do."

Guinan nodded, "I think I have something to make your stay more pleasant then.

Guinan replicated a scented candle that smelled much like an earthy incense. As she lit it, Yel-din fixated on the flame. Their eyes reflected the flame dazzlingly, as if their eyes contained stars.

"Very… comforting… thank you…" Yel-din gestured to hear her name.

"I'm Guinan. I'm El-Aurian. We're known for being listeners." She said with openness.

"Does your SSpecieSS shake hands?" They asked.

She shrugged, "We can, but our customary greeting is this…" Guinan rose her hand, palm forward and nodded her head slowly.

Yel-din did the same in return, saying, "I am Yel-din. I am known for talking. Forgive me for my defenSSiveneSSS. I am a kilen. Kilen are often known on my planet for being unable… or unwilling to provide for ourSSevleSS. I experience that aSSumption regularly."

"I can understand that. I've been underestimated one or twice myself." She glanced at me with knowing smile, and I returned one back to her.

Guinan excused herself and Data, Yel-din, and I sat down. We had left Neb-lus behind on the holodeck. They wished to explore more of the programs they had been developing. It was the first time I had actually seen Neb-lus. They were a golen Kessok, and about as tall as me which surprised me. Yel-din is much taller however, though not as tall as the First Arbiter themself.

"So. What do you think of our ship, and our people?" I asked with a smile. I bounced in my seat a little bit. This had been a very exciting tour and I had energy despite the fact I was relieved to finally be sitting my exhausted body down.

Yel-din smelled the candle very deeply before sitting back in a frank posture and crossing their arms over their breasts, "I waSSS wrong about you. You are not violent people." They glanced around the room suspiciously, "For the moSSt part."

"Do you have any questions for us?" I wondered.

They perked up, eager for the invitation to discussion, "YeSSS… why do you organize yourSSSelveSS baSSSed on your reproductive anatomy?"

"I… wasn't aware that we did." I said innocently, glancing at Data.

Data turned to me, "I believe they are referring to gender, lieutenant."

"OH!" I said with realization. C'mon Ezri that was obvious if you had thought about for more than two seconds, I thought to myself.

I responded, "Well… I wouldn't say that we organize ourselves that way. The majority of our cultures did at one time. Including mine and humans, Klingons… even Vulcans…" I stumbled a bit, "But in our pasts those divisions were a lot more rigid… your body was all people cared to base things on and you would be trapped in that role for life. Then it became a lot less enforced."

Data picked up my line of thinking, but unfortunately not in a good way, "I have observed that, while there are many carbon-lifeforms who do not conform to binary genders, most conform to them because certain traits are part of their personality."

"Well…" I tried to say, but Yel-din was ahead of me.

"It is obviouSSS that you SSStill enforce it. You have told me, 'That person is a 'woman''" they gestured to Guinan. "And 'that perSSSon is a 'man''" They pointed to a male crewman.

Next, they pointed to me, "You call yourSSSelf a 'woman'… yet you have shorter hair like a 'man.'"

"Well, there's more to being a woman than your hair." I said, burying how insulted I felt. I knew they were just trying to understand, and that they were used to being confrontational.

"Like what?" They asked. "Your ability to carry children? Or is it because you chooSSSe a job in the SSSocial SSkills."

"Oh no…" I said. "There are plenty of women in security for example." My mind wandered to all the attractive women in security I've known. Focus Ezri.

"But they are not men?" Yel-din asked. "What about you, Data, your appearance is 'male' but you cannot bear children. DoeSSSn't that make you 'genderless?'"

Data rose his finger to speak but then paused and closed his mouth and simply said, "Curious…"

I kept trying to think of another way to explain it, but I was suddenly feeling like I couldn't. I decided to ask a question instead.

"Why do you organize yourselves between 'golen' and 'kilen'? I asked.

They shrugged, "We do not eXactly, each individual has choice. Some simply prefer certain professionSSS and certain SSSubcultureSSS."

"Then why do people make assumptions about you based on your appearance?" I asked.

"I do not know." They said with a dismissive shrug.

I leaned forward a little bit, "When your arbiter first told me about golen and kilen… I thought it was confusing too. In fact, it bothered me a little bit… It seems like everyone who is short is just assumed to be a good spelunker. I have to admit that does sound a little bit fun to me, but the assumption itself made me feel strange."

Yel-din took a whiff of the candle again, "But that's ridiculouSSS. You are intelligent, soft, agile despite your disSSability, and very beautiful. You are defined by nothing. Why SSShould anyone aSSSume a thing about you?"

I blinked and blushed a little bit. They spoke firmly and bluntly, as if those things about me were obvious facts and not even intended as a compliment. But somehow that only made me feel more embarrassed.

"What?" Yel-din said with confusion, noticing my discomfort.

Data translated, "Ah! I believe I can assist, when I was first activated, I had difficulty with this too. Excessive compliments are often viewed as flirtatious. Lieutenant Dax appears to be embarrassed."

"EmbaraSSSed?! Why?!" Yed-lin seemed offended.

"It could be seen as a… romantic gesture." He said.

"Ro…mantic? What'SSS that?" They asked.

I pressed my face to my palm and giggled. I glanced at Data who glanced at me. He just made his classic 'Data is confused' face.

Yel-din spoke more, "In KeSSSok SSSociety… compliments are freely shared. Kilen in particular tend to express admiration with words. This is done for anyone deSSServing. You are simply deSServing, EZri DaX. It haSSS nothing to do with sex if that iSS what you mean."

Yel-din turned to Data, "You are also beautiful. Your eyes are reminiSSScent of Likossikan emeralds from our planet."

"No one has ever described me as… beautiful…" Data blinked… but seemed curious to be described in such a way.

Yel-din seemed genuinely sad for him, but almost enraged. They stood up from the table, drawing attention to themselves, "How?! What a SSSad life to lead! Never being told you appear beautiful? There is beauty in all the world. Most of all one another!"

I smiled as they sat back down… shaking their head at our own comparatively stifled culture.

"You know… I kind of agree Yel-din." I said. "…So… while we're on the subject… I noticed earlier that the candlelight reflects in your eyes gorgeously." I felt my face get hot. Not because I was aroused or anything, but because I was embarrassed to give anyone such an unprompted compliment… but this was more or less first contact… It seemed like a good idea to adapt a little bit to their ways.

Yel-din reacted with glee and pride, "Thank you! I am quite fond of that aSSSpect of my eyes aSSS well!"

We all shared a silence… but a more comfortable one. Mostly…

"You cannot explain thiSSS 'gender' to me, can you?" They said with resignation.

I looked down, "I don't think so… At least not for the time being."

They stood firmly, "Very well. I shall return to the surface… I… do not believe you are a threat…"

I stood up, "I'm glad to hear that."

"Would you like to hold my hand?" They asked mindlessly, somewhat derisively actually.

"What?" I asked, started again by the affection.

"Oh… forgive me… I am uSSSed to golen deSSSiring phySSSical touch." They explained.

"Well sometimes I do. But generally, only with people I know well. It would also make people whisper that we're involved romantically…"

They shook their head, "I do not underSSStand."

I decided to pat their shoulder as we walked, "Y'know? After three-hundred years? I don't either."

Chapter Seven – Double Agents

As told by Julian Bashir back on the current Stardate.

Chief medical officer's long: Stardate 55476.4: Our resident universe migrant, Ms. Zee Tigan, has left the Infirmary with a pain cloak prescription. I can only hope she will not abuse it, but knowing her, she will. I will have to devise a treatment quickly to minimize the damage to her body. Unfortunately, it looks like there are few treatments I can administer aside from returning her to her universe and violating her asylum. The few treatments I can advise are psychological. Recommend she begin seeing Counselor Telnori given her counterpart is the primary Station counselor. However, Telnori will be leaving again in one week's time, and this may insufficient. If she can grow to accept any residual trauma from her experience in her native universe, it may at least allow for the lessening of symptoms. This may be easier if Ezri Dax accepts command duties and either a new counselor, or an old one, remains on station. Forward this log to Counselor Ezri Dax and Captain Kira Nerys upon completion. End log.

That's how my logs go these days. I keep it short, no extra information, nothing personal. At first it made me feel dry and empty… like I had no life… but now I've come to feel safer that way. Anything I don't want to share; I simply don't volunteer, and why should I have to? It's about the work. Why I ever thought to add anything extra baffled me. Still I knew I was becoming reclusive and secretive… and what scared me most was that I didn't mind the change at all…

As I realized Zee's bio-reading had nothing left for me, I made a database search for alternative universe patients and their treatments. While that search was running, I sent my message.

"Computer." I said. "Silence all listening devices posted in the Infirmary and encrypt the following transmission using algorithm JSB 94. Use transmission dampener program EG 42 for the duration and begin."

The computer clicked several times as iprocessed my command and then Garak appeared on my screen.

"You know Doctor," he said. "Most romantic partners participate in 'lunch dates' during their time as partners. I think you and I have let that go." The sarcasm was apparent in his voice, as always.

I responded wryly, "Whoever said you and I were traditional, Elim?"

He laughed manically, "A fair point."

"So, how go things on Cardassia?" I wondered aloud.

"Ah as fairly as they can, all things considered." He said.

I smiled, "Isn't it just lucky for that you have some serious, and stolen, Kessok technology to boost your people's power?" I accused him, but with no hostility.

He responded. "I had a feeling that, with House Arterius in ruins, we might make use of some of the… leftover technology." He said. "Cardassia is in a much stronger position now, thanks in no small part to you, dear Julian." He smiled fiendishly.

I felt apprehension, as I always did about everything I did with Garak.

He continued, "However, it seems that House Arterius is not completely dissolved. There are holdouts who have become suspiciously good at hiding themselves."

"Almost as if they had help?" I said, unsurprised.

"And to boot… now the Klingon Empire is facing an untimely civil war… using agents already known to be in league with our…. Shadowy friends… How did the reconnaissance of your last mission from your secretive commander turn out?" He said, referring to Vaughn.

I sighed, "It's as we feared, the tension in the Romulan government is growing. There's even whisperings of Rebellion coming from Remus…"

"And they, too, seem to have assistance?" Garak said.

"The Remans are too weakened by their status as slaves to build such ships in secret on their own." I said.

"My dear, I do hope you don't mean starships?" Garak said with surprise.

I hit a few buttons to show him a schematic. A Romulan ship integrated with Reman technology, heavily armored almost to the point of absurdity. A force to be reckoned with…

"It's called, "The Scimitar…" I announced.

Garak looked genuinely horrified, "Someone is preparing for a new war…"

"Someone is looking for an advantage." I said "Half this technology doesn't come from either Romulus or Remus. And the Romulan dissident movement is in full swing, people are rising up all over the galaxy and if we're not careful… the people who win the wars, will be worse than the people who lose…"

I looked to the ground and continued, "You were right, Elim… Now isn't the time for my soft heart… If the Federation is going to stand against these coming threats…" I felt shame over my past naivety, and a great loss of innocence. It had been coming for some time, but to finally admit it felt like crossing a bridge and burning it behind me.

Garak spoke up, turning the conversation away from my feelings a toward more practical matters, "You need more agents… agents who don't know they're agents, just like the Sheliak have. We have to find them, before they consolidate their own group within the Federation… we need to find people who have grievances with the Federation… but also an investment."

"We can't start another war!" I snapped. I felt guilty for it and looked down again with a sigh, "I'm sorry Elim… I just feel helpless." I explained why, "The Federation knows that the Sheliak are gathering allies... but they won't take any chances to preserve the future because of 'The Treaty'. I feel like I'm all alone…"

"As you may recall, my Doctor companion, you are not alone." Garak said with a smile.

I felt some comfort from that, "You're right… you have no reason to help me now… but you choose to anyway. I'm grateful."

"Don't mention." He smirked. "As it happens Doctor… there was a recent rebellion in the Federation wasn't there?"He wondered aloud. "Perhaps there are some left who still carry that rebellious fervor with them… some who might be receptive to…. A new Federation?"

He was speaking of the Maquis. "Very true…" I said.

"Rather than the Maquis being stoked by the Sheliak's interests… wouldn't it be better served under the distant hand of Section 31?" He said.

I couldn't deny the truth of what I was hearing. The Sheliak had delivered technology to any group willing to further destabilize the leading galactic powers… As a Starfleet officer, it was my duty to stop that… and as a doctor it was my duty to save lives…

"I'll have to look into it… There are some former Maquis coming to the station soon…" I said.

"And when can I look forward to hearing from you again, dear Julian?" He asked.

"Soon." I smiled and switched of the call reluctantly.

As if on cue, Re Laren came to see me then. I turned on all my monitoring devices and allowed her in.

She came in, walking fast to my position.

I asked, "Ro? What can I-?"

"Drop the act," She declared, "You've been hiding yourself… what did you do?"

I blinked with surprise, feeling the eye of suspicion on me, "I don't know what you mean." I said.

"Something happened on Cardassia last year, didn't it? What was it?" She demanded.

I deflected, trying to mimic Garak's gift for subterfuge, "I told you what happened."

She didn't budge, "But ever since you've been avoiding me, and everyone else… The cpatian said you weren't at the party that you planned. Why keep to hidden?"

I didn't know what to say. My pause was making this even worse. I really needed to get better at hiding my emotions to avoid suspicion.

"Look… I'm Bajoran security and former Maquis… I don't care if this violates Starfleet protocols… and I have no reason to report anything to the captain…"

I pondered this situation a moment… she was a former Maquis… the very people I now had to reach. I couldn't tell her everything… but I needed her help.

"I want to help you… you're… about the only person who seems to understand me on this station…" She spoke with a shame about herself that I found very familar. She stood closer to me now, warming up to me… trying to connect. I couldn't help but set my hand on her shoulder…

"Alright…" I said.

And just like that we became a team of two. I didn't tell Vaughn about her, and I didn't tell her everything I knew… but I whispered one word about the Sheliak and she was on my side… I ahd a lot more trouble getting close to her now than I did that night on Cardassia… I didn't know why… but the lure of someone… anyone to be close with, was too great… Here we go again….

Chapter Eight – Grappling with Power

As told by Ezri Dax

Picard's words echoed in my head, "As Captain, it's my responsibility to see that the best crew member is chosen for the job to make sure we all come out safely." I supposed that I could have gone to him for council while the Enterprise was still in dock. But somehow that didn't seem right. I had learned so much from him already, what more was there to learn? If I went to Picard now, he would just tell me what my three-hundred years of memories already had. Anything else was just my inability to hear it from myself. And yet, I wondered, what if I'm really not cut out for command? Why inflict myself onto others? I couldn't decide which was more responsible: taking the test again or facing facts about myself.

I ended up with Worf on the replimat, trading plans for the future.

I hopefully asked, "So now that you can't go back to the Empire… where will you go? Do you want to stay on the station again?"

He took a sip of bloodwine. I tried to ignore the smell.

"No." He said frankly, "Alexander and I plan to rejoin the Enterprise."

"Is he having second thoughts about the Empire again?" I asked sympathetically.

He nodded but not with any hesitation, "For once, he and I agree about the Empire… He… admitted that he joined the Empire mainly to impress me… I have learned that many Klingon sons have similar feelings, particularly those who live outside the Empire. His shame transformed to a declaration. "He should go his own way. And where else to find oneself than among your… family." He softened as he realized what the Enterprise washome. I felt the same way about DS9, but I was sad to see him go. It hadn't been the same without him.

He noticed my sadness and smiled that Klingon smile, "Do not worry, Commander Riker and Deanna have a wedding date set for next year. I have no doubt we will see each other then. Particularly if you have your own ship."

I laughed at the idea of rising to Captain in just one year, "Pssh… I'lll be an Admiral," I joked back. My tone changed to shame and regret as I faced my failure again, "Actually… I'm not sure if I'm going to take the test again…"

"I see," he said with thickly concealed disappointment. He took another sip and set his cup down firmly, speaking plainly, "That would be a mistake."

I looked down, knowing full well I couldn't be as strong or commanding as someone like him, "Oh Worf… you always believed in me more than I did…"

"That has also been a mistake." He said frankly.

I shrugged and tried to laugh it off as I always do, "Oh I see… well any suggestions on how to stop making mistakes?"

"Failure is not a mistake. And fate often picks unlikely heroes." he said.

I looked away, "Oh I'm no hero… And I've never wanted power or fame or anything like that."

He took another confident sip and quoted the First Kahless, "'Great men do not seek power, they have power thrust upon them.' … Those are Kahless' words…" He leaned forward slightly, speaking more softly, "but it was you who truly taught me that. Not Jadzia… you."

I blinked, "I… I did?" I felt humbled.

He nodded, "And as I said, you were right… Both about myself and the Empire…"

I sat there feeling uncomfortable from the praise as he continued to quote Kahless, "'A warrior's first task is to know himself and honor his own strengths and weaknesses. A warrior, armed with self-discipline and self-understanding is the only kind of warrior who can inspire others and show them The Way."

I felt the words ring in my head. I didn't know how to pass the test, but I was beginning to understand something.

It was then that Kurn came to see us. His appearance seemed appropriate, despite how surprising it was.

He sat in a challenging posture by Worf.

"So!" He declared. "I hear you are once again leaving your people behind… 'brother.'"

Worf defended his decision to rejoin the federation, "It is not my place to interfere in the Empire."

"Pah! You are afraid to face the battle! Coward!" Kurn challenged, standing up.

Worf stood up slowly to face his brother, a cold stare across his brow. To suggest a Klingon is not prepared for battle is a great insult.

"Perhaps I should kill you!" Kurn yelled again. "I may not have my honor among Klingons… but at least I would have the pleasure of killing someone far more dishonored!"

I stood to try to mediate. Worf looked as though he was barely avoiding the urge to hit him. But before anyone could do anything I heard a deep voice yell, "Stand down!"

We all turned to see Deputy Kej'Ikon. Nerys had told me about what he had experienced in the past year. He had a familiar air about him I couldn't quite place.

"I will not stand down! This man has taken my whole life from me! He is mine!" Kurn yelled.

Kej'Ikon firmly put his hand on Kurn's shoulder, his d'ja pagh shaking slightly from the force of the grasp, "Under Klingon law, perhaps, but this is not a Klingon station. You will stand down or I will stand you down."

Kej'ikon spoke with surety and absolutely no fear, nor with any challenge. These were simply facts.

Kurn turned to him, growling, "Dominion pataQ…" But he did, in fact, sit down.

He then turned to Worf, who sat down respectfully thereafter.

I sat too and said, "Thanks! I thought they were going to hit each other…"

He smirked as he said, "Some men need discipline… or they will not do what must be done."

Kurn growled again, "I will not be controlled by you, Jem'Hadar!"

Kej'Ikon looked him I the eye, "I control no one, it is you who decided to listen to me. I have learned that all discipline is ultimately self-discipline. Sometimes we must be reminded what our own disciplines truly are. It is only those who do not know theirs who struggle to choose. The final choice comes from within... it is... a calling. So, the Prophets teach."

For some reason, the words pierced my heart. All discipline is self-discipline… A calling. I thought of the command test again.

Kurn was still furious, "Pah!" He yelled with dismissiveness. "Why do you listen to these soft alien gods? For comfort?

"The Propehts do not bring comfort, they bring guidance. The Founders never had such lessons for me. But what I learn from the Propehts is not so different from what you learn from Kahless and his stories."

"Preposterous…" Kurn said, turning away dismissively, as if her were afraid of the answer.

Kej'Ikon did not falter. It was surpisingly admirable. "Each shows us a path to serving those around us… and ourselves. Whether it is through the Way of a Warrior or a path of charity, they are more similar than they are different."

I though thought to myself, He sure has changed in the past two years… The war driven fear I had of him was fading. I wondered what Nerys thought of his growth…

Kurn seemed affected by this too, "You… are from a warrior race… but you follow the peaceful Bajoran religion?"

"It has helped me realize who I am, beyond what I was made to be." He said. Kurn seemed receptive to this idea while Kej'Ikon spoke. "I would suggest that you spend some time studying what your own spirituality has taught you. Reexamine the words… perhaps what you thought you knew is not what was meant."

Kurn pondered a moment, then he stood and walked away, nodding to Kej'Ikon.

I felt similarly… Staring at my tea for a long moment… Then, after taking a deep breath, I rose from my seat too.

"I'll see you both later, I have something to do…" I said.

Worf looked to me with a knowing look, "Ezri?"

I turned back to face him.

"Qapla!" Was all he said. I let a half smile reach my cheeks and walked to the holosuite like I was walking to a funeral.

Chapter Nine – The Way

As told by Ezri Dax

I began the command tests again. The majority of the test passed easily by. Then, I finally reached the final scenario.

Diala reported, "I have an energy wave at 090 mark 340! It's massive," she said with deep fear.

"Red alert, shields up!" I ordered firmly. A wave of adrenaline surged in ym stomach. "Analysis on the wave, crewman."

"It's composed of impure antiprotons… with various particulate matter."

So, it was the particulate matter which created the changes in density, I thought.

"All hands brace for impact!" I announced. While strapping into the chair.

The wave hit the Defiant and we all shook in our seats.

Ro reported as I steeled myself, "The wave is too large for out shields to withstand. Our hull will break in half without them!"

I approached Terin's console, "I think you'll find that the residual matter is causing differing densities in the wave. Try to steer the ship into those less dense areas."

He shook his head with anxiety and doubt, "These areas are too small."

"Can we get a shuttle in there?" I asked him, knowing the answer.

"…Yes Captain, I think so… But it wouldn't last long." He said cautiously.

"I need you to modify the shields in the shuttle to deflect the energy and take it ahead of the ship. If we can catch one of those less dense areas then we can create a sort of plow through the energy field." I said.

"Why me?" He asked with terror and reluctance.

"We… need our best pilot…" I said reluctantly.

"I don't want to!" He stood up, towering over me. I met his eyes with as much steel as I could muster, pushing past the lump in my throat.

He continued, "Why can't you do it Captain?! You're almost as good a pilot as me!"

I stood firm, gathering up all my strength, "I'm afraid that's an order Ensign!"

I released the tension and touched his shoulders, "We need you. Or there's a good chance none of us will make it out alive… I'm sorry…"

He looked at me, holographic tears forming… then he nodded. As he walked to the shuttle bay, I let out a sigh of relief. I felt like I had just betrayed my best friend… or Norvo… The holo-Terin didn't really seem like the real Terin… but that didn't make a difference in my mind.

I sat in the Definat pilot seat now, using every bit of knowledge I could.

The shuttle was away. The comm rung, "I'm… in position," said Terin.

His shields did exactly what I expected they would. I guided the Defiant to the openings he made. He didn't miss a single one.

My proximity alarm went off soon and I heard his distorted voice over the comm, "My shields are failing, Ezri! I can't make it!"

"Hang in there Terin! You can do this!" I said with encouragement. A smoke trail formed behind his ship.

The turbulence slowed. As the wave began to dissipate.

"Shields at ten percent!" Ro yelled.

Diala reported with panic and sadness, "Terin's shield are failing!"

I watched on the view screen as Terin's shuttle was torn to pieces by the wave, virtually nothing left… I knew it wasn't him, but memories of our time together on the Enterprise flooded my mind anyway.

"We've cleared the wave!" I heard as the last turbulence left us and the stars returned to our viewscreen. There was only microscopic dust left of the shuttle.

"The shuttle was completely destroyed." Someone said. I couldn't process who it was. I stood up slowly so that the relief conn could take the helm. And that was when the program ended.

"Test complete. Results recorded for review by commanding officers."

I just stood there. A few tears escaping my eyes.

I wondered to myself, could I handle it? If that happened?

Silence echoed around my thoughts…

"Computer?" I sniffed. "Activate HolmDax program Freedom Four, dormant mode."

I sat now in a small fighter, floating along as I stared at the stars through the cockpit. I like to find the constellations in the stars, but this time I just stared at them vaguely. Processing the vastness... I don't know what I was looking for…

I sat up to pilot the fighter but just as I began the starup sequence, I stopped myself. I wanted to fly away… but that wasn't what I should do. I basically ran away from home to Starfleet, right into a new home. I was a kid then… but now people are counting on me… looking up to me… and I left home again… but now I'm back… Am I just going to leave again?

"Computer…" I breathed and stood… watching the stars, feeling them call to me again as they have for so many years.

"End program."

Several hours later I received a call to come to Ops. This was the second time I taken the test and I was pacing as Admiral Beckford and Nerys talked about my test. I could see them deliberating calmly and I couldn't help but pace. Nog and Terin were in Ops too.

"You should sit down," Terin suggested with a smirk.

"I can't sit down… my future is being decided in the other room…" I said. I didn't look at anyone as I spoke. Only the floor. "I don't know how many more times I can bring myself to take the test if I fail again…"

The butterflies fluttered in my stomach as Nog said, "I know how you feel. I had to wait outside my professor's office for my final engineering score for almost an hour. I couldn't sit down either."

I lost my nerve a little bit, "Oh what if it's the engineering section? My engineering experience is older, it's been several lifetimes since I did any engineering… or the tactical? I'm not much a of a warrior… Or maybe the psychology test?" My mouth was running so fast that when the office door opened, I jumped up. Nerys had a straight face which made me more nervous.

"We're ready for you." She said. I followed her, tapping my hands together behind my back.

As the doors closed, Admiral Beckford turned around to grab something and Nerys gave a light sarcastic smile, "If you keep up these promotions and I might just be taking orders from you eventually."

She walked to me and pinned an additional black pip on my collar. I just sort of stood there. Completely stunned… I… I passed?

Beckford turned around with an immaculately folded command division uniform.

She announced, "You passed the test on only your second try… Though you had some unique solutions… that only contributes to your skill. We believe you're capable of command."

I took the uniform, staring at it. It felt like a dream… this couldn't be real. A wave of excitement welled up within me, far more than I expected. Now that I knew that all that I had to do was accept the job…

My thoughts froze as they were interrupted. "You promotion is yours," Beckford said. "And we are officially offering you the duty of station First Officer."

Nerys interjected, "Give it some thought. We're not asking you to decide right now, but this is the duty schedule for tomorrow." She handed me a padd. "If you decide to accept the job then review this and report for duty at 0700 tomorrow in proper uniform." She smiled and nodded to me.

I looked up and nodded firmly, "You'll have your answer by then, I promise."

I left the office quickly, stepping down the steps with my eyes on the uniform. The red collar seemed twice as vibrant as Terin's or Nerys', though I'm sure it was only my imagination.

Terin had turned when he heard the office doors open. I locked eyes with him, and he smiled knowingly at. me. As if he had known what the results would be.

Nog looked to me and laughed with pride, "Congratulations Lieutenant! Oh, sorry that's 'Commander', now." He shook my hand. I must have seemed a little stunned because he made a concerned face and asked, "Are you, alright?"

I struggled to refocus my attention onto Nog. I never had that issue… "Oh, I'm great!" I said with a smile, "I just… It's… a lot to take in."

"I thought you'd be excited…." He said with clear confusion. This was his dream, but it was never mine… Or was it? I didn't know anymore.

There was an awkward silence and my thoughts distracted me. I decided to needed to think in priovate, "Excuse me…" I said with a nervous chuckle.

I stepped on the turbolift and went down to my quarters

Chapter Ten – True Calling

Part 1

As told by Ezri Dax

I took another visit to Kurn later. Somehow, I felt like if I didn't, I would have unfinished business.

As I entered his quarters, I heard a screeching and metallic sound. He was sharpening his bat'leth.

I tiptoed in a moment. "Hey there!" I yelled over the noise.

He turned to me clad in a houseless Klingon uniform, "Dax," he greeted me.

"Got a battle to win?" I asked with a curious face.

"Yes." He said and he turned around to continue sharpening

"Well… I hope you're not planning to kill Worf…" I said, somewhat jokingly... somewhat seriously…

He sighed, "No… killing an ally would not be… wise."

"An ally?" I wondered aloud, encouraging him to explain it.

He turned back to me, "Yes… I have been… studying the texts of Kahless…" He began to pace the room. "I did not realize how much of Kahless' words focused on serving the Klingon people… the Empire has lost its way…" He pondered a moment longer, "My heart is Klingon… and I will fight for my right to that heart… the new 'Chancellor' does not care to help the people… the people who are… just as I am... Controlled, dishonored… never free."

He turned to me, "I… must thank you, Sister Dax…. It has been a long time… since I have felt called to destiny… if… you hadn't shown me the way… or your Dominion friend… I may never have realized it."

I smiled, "Oh it's no trouble, it's my job!"

He touched my shoulder as if I were a fellow warrior, "May you heed the call of your destiny… Ezri Dax, daughter of Yanas…"

I smiled at him, feeling a wave of certainty. It was a very new feeling… and a very good one.

Part 2

As told by Kira Nerys

Station log, Stardate 55478.0, Captain Kira Nerys reporting: It's 0655 hours, the Enterprise has left dock with our Klingon passenger. We said goodbye again to our old friend Worf. Commander Dax hasn't reported to Ops yet to indicate her decision to take command, or remain counselor.

I did my best to ignore the time as I examined the duty stations. Yelina Tylittle was repairing a console while Nog tested the systems. Science officer Lilian Santos was running a diagnostic for a quantum array project and coordinating with Deep Space Seven.

Nog shook his head with doubt, "She's not coming…"

Terin scoffed with amusement, "Oh please... she'll be here. I bet she's been studying all night. Three strips that she's right on time…"

Yelina yelled from the diagnostic tunnel, "But she's always late… or was that her sister…?"

I turned in surprise, "I thought she only had brothers?" I questioned.

Yelina stepped out, grease faced, "Oh… I mean… Zee." She said with a blush.

"Ah…" I smirked. I privately hoped that she and her sister wouldn't have their hearts broken. I had a soft spot for Zee… thought I didn't interact with her personally, I could tell she had been through some difficult things, like I have.

I checked the time. 0658 hours.

"You're about to owe me three strips Terin!" Nog yelled greedily from the console.

Then, with impeccable timing, we all heard the turbolift rising. Our eyes turned to it simultaenosly.

"You sure about that Mister Nog?" Terin said with pride.

For a brief moment, I wondered if it wouldn't be someone else other than Ezri. But I didn't have long to be in denial.

Ezri Dax rode up the turbolift, clad in a red command uniform, lightly darkened brows, her short hair flaring out sharply and with a slight fluff at the back and sides of her head. Her three rank pips shined in the Operations' lights. I couldn't help but smile and I felt a surge of pride. She met my gaze with an adorable smirk, as she so often does. An indescribable feeling came over me… It was familiar, much like the way I sometimes felt when Jadzia entered a room, as if the whole room were hers. But this feeling was so much more pronounced, so much more… personal, and down to earth… I couldn't understand it. In some ways it reminded me of how I felt about seeing Odo, even though they're both very different people.

She stepped out as the turbolift returned to the Promenade, "Lieutenant Commander Ezri Dax, reporting for duty Captain!" She almost cheered with an eager smile, her teeth white and shining. Her hands went behind her back with a slight bounce.

I gestured to the main ops panel, "After you… Commander," I smiled at her. I was so glad she made the right choice. Selfishly… I was glad that I would get to see one of my best friends more often, tough I knew it wouldn't be as often as I would like.

She cleared her throat and approached the science station ans Terin smiled at her, winking at Nog's failed bet.

Ezri introduced herself to the science officer, "I don't think we've met, Ensign. What's your name?"

"Lilian Santos, commander," she said.

Ezri smiled warmly, "Well Ensign Santos, I had some ideas about the array project, if we coordinate with Deep Space Seven and Four…"

The two went on about the project. I didn't expect her to take charge so quickly. My job was about to get easier… The Emissary would be very proud of her… I couldn't seem to take my eyes away from her for long. She far exceeded my expectations when she came aboard three years ago… I could only imagine how life would change now… as the wide-open galaxy had begun to reopen.