Alan learns that stealing your neighbours chickens is not a good idea!

Written for fab five feb 2020 - Jeff week. Prompt: "never"


Jeff is so glad he has a do not disturb sign he can put on the office door that all five of his boys know that when it is up, they leave him alone.

He loves his children more than they will ever appreciate but sometimes, just occasionally he needs a break from their fighting and noise!

Besides he has a lot of paper work to catch up on, and if he can get it all done this afternoon he has promised the boys a trip to the cinema to see the fast and furious 74, which Scott has spent the last seven months begging him to go and see with him.

Settling down with a fresh mug of coffee he is about to open a folder on his laptop when he hears shouting.

It's Lucy. Calm, cool collected Lucy. And she sounds uncharacteristically furious. And she is heading his way.

Damn he thinks. Closing his laptop he sighs and waits for the inevitable knock on the door.

Less than a minute later she is standing in front of him. Holding a very sorry looking eight year old by the arm, who has obviously been crying. His blonde hair is dishevelled and his face pale. Apart from his bright blue eyes, usually so sparkly and happy, they're red and sore now and he is gulping trying so hard to not start crying again as stares down at the floor.

They are joined in the room by their neighbour, Jeremiah. An old cranky farmer with very little patience for any child. Wondering what Alan could possibly have done to him to end up in this state Jeff is saved the bother of asking when he speak up.

"I Caught this little hellion in my chicken coop. STEALING MY CHICKENS!" Jeremiah tells Jeff. Shouting the last three words at him. Spraying spit all over the desk.

This is the last This Jeff expected. From Alan anyway! Scott maybe, Gordon definitely, but Alan?

"I trust you will punish the little brat, and I don't have to call the police? I bought him back this time. But I am telling you now Tracy I catch him or one of your other unruly monsters near my farm again and I will shoot first and ask questions later."

"Got. It?!" He adds.

Jeff knows he has to use every ounce of his diplomacy skills to defuse this situation and placate his angry neighbour. The last thing he needs right now is his boys waging war on old Jeremiah!

"Leave this with me, I can assure you Alan will be punished" Jeff tells him reassuringly.

"Well if you are sure" he replies, not convinced by Jeff's parenting skills.

"I am sure. Please, leave this to me" Jeff asks.

Lucy shows Jeremiah out, leaving Alan alone with his father.

"Well?" Jeff asks sternly. "I need an explanation Alan"

"Gordontoldmeitwasafamilytradition" Alan mumbles quietly. He's never felt so afraid of his father in his whole life. He's trembling with fright.

"Come again? I didn't catch that. Speak up Alan" his father tells him.

"Gordon t-t-told me it w-was a f-f-family trad-tradition" Alan wails stumbling over the words.

Beyond angry now Jeff stands up, causing the petrified 8 year old to back away from him as far as he can.

"Let me get this straight, Gordon told you stealing was a Tracy family tradition?" Jeff seethes

Tears now streaming down his face again, Alan nods.

"Go and stand in the corner, facing the wall, with your hands on your head and don't move!" Jeff tells him.

He knows he needs to calm down and sending him to the corner is the ideal place for him to do so where Jeff can keep an eye on him.

Jeff picks up the phone on his desk and calls his wife's mobile.

"Darling can you fetch Gordon for me. Bring him straight to the office"

"What happened Jeff?" She asks tentatively. Knowing that Alan is not the only one in Trouble now he's asking for Gordon too.

"It appears Gordon convinced Alan that breaking into the chicken coop at Jeremiah's to steal a chicken was a 'Tracy family tradition'" Jeff replies. Barely keeping his voice steady.

"Oh" is all she has to say. Knowing Jeff's intolerance for any rule breaking, especially if it involves people outside the family, her two youngest are in a whole world of trouble.

"I will find him for you" she replies.

"Thank you" Jeff tells her hanging up the phone.

He looks over at Alan, who's shoulders are heaving with the effort to stop himself crying. But he doesn't feel any sympathy for his youngest boy.

Gordon knows Alan got caught, he saw him being dragged into the house by old Jeremiah by his ear, so he made himself scarce! Climbing up into the boys old abandoned tree house, he knows they will not think to look here and he will be safe until they have calmed down!

He can hear his mother calling him, but he isn't falling for it.

"I know you're out here Gordon, you are making things worse by ignoring me not only for yourself but for Alan too"

'Emotional blackmail ain't going to work on me!' He thinks.

But he underestimated his Parents anger and she has enlisted Scott to help hunt down the elusive twelve year old.

And Scott knows exactly where he is hiding. Having spent time hiding from his parents here himself.

"GOTCHA!" Scott laughs grabbing the unsuspecting Gordon by the wrist and pulling him out of the tree house. Making sure he lands safely and dragging him unceremoniously into the house to face their father.

"In you go fungus-face" Scott tells him shoving him through the door of the office where his father is waiting for him.

Gordon has never seen his father look so angry, he's surprised he can even talk without jets of steam pouring out of his ears.

"I want an explanation Gordon". His dad demands, trying hard to keep calm and not shout.

"It was just a laugh dad, Alan was the one stupid enough to get caught so why am I in trouble?" He replies without even a hint of remorse.

"You told your eight year old brother that stealing is a Tracy family Tradition!" Jeff fumes.

"He wasn't going to keep the chicken! We were going to put it back once he had proved he was worthy of the Tracy name" Gordon tells him.

"That's not the Point Gordon! Stealing is wrong. It is illegal, and to take an animal, which would have been terrified and have no idea who Alan was or what he was going to do would have been a terrible shock for a chicken."

Gordon just shrugs his shoulders and smirks. He still can't see what the issue is. It was just a joke!

Jeff has had enough. The Boy is completely unrepentant and can't even bring himself to apologise.

"Go and stand in the corner opposite Alan, facing the wall with your hands on your head. You don't move. You don't speak." Jeff demands. He doesn't want to send either boy to their rooms, as he needs to keep an eye on them.

Gordon rolls his eyes but does as he's told.

Jeff leaves them there for an hour while he calms himself down. Alan has stopped crying now and appears to have accepted his fate and his responsibility in this so called prank.

"Both of you come here" he tells the two blonde heads at the back of his office.

He waits until they are both standing In front of his desk.

"I want you both to know that I am deeply disappointed by your actions today. And I plan to punish the two of you severely. You will be staying here tonight while I take your brothers to see that new movie. you will both write letters of apology to Jeremiah and 1000 lines - each "stealing is NOT a Tracy family Tradition" - when your lines are complete and have been approved by either myself or your mother you will be put to bed without supper. And the pair of you are grounded for a month. Gordon no swimming, Alan no video games." Jeff pronounces the sentences. "Do I make myself clear?"

"Lines?" Gordon groans. "Can you not just spank me instead?"

"No. I cannot. And now it's 1500 lines for you!" Jeff replies.

"Any other questions?" Jeff asks, making it clear that no questions will be considered!

"Good. Gordon sit at the left side of my desk, Alan the right and get on with the lines."

It is hours before they have finished, And Alan has made a solemn vow to himself to never listen to Gordon's advice ever again., as he lies in bed staring up at the ceiling. He is starving, and his hand is cramped and sore and this has been the worst day of his life.

*TB*

"What am I going to do with them?" Jeff asks Lucy after everyone else is asleep for the night.

"I honestly don't know" she replies.

"I never did anything like this when I was their age!" He adds.

"Never? That's not what your mother told me!" Lucy tells him laughing. "They will grow out of it Jeff. You did!"