i haven't touched this series in like eight years, but as i promised on twitter, in honor of supergirl ending, here's the final part of the cold bones series (or so i think)

now, read, ponder, and enjoy!


This may be the last sunset I'll see,

So I'll take it in, I'll take it in.

This may be the last air that I breathe,

So I'll breathe it in, I'll breathe it in.

-NF, Lost in the Moment


"Get up."

The voice floated to Kara's ears, muffled, like it was blocked by a towel or something. The voice was familiar. All too familiar for it to be real.

It shouldn't be surprising. Kara was trapped in a room of artificial red sunlight, attacking her in all directions. She could hardly remember the last time she felt this weak, so much so that she couldn't even clench her fists together without shaking like a cat drenched in cold water. So of course, the hallucinations would come too.

She lolled her head back against the concrete floor and closed her eyes against the invasion of the red traces of light. Offensive and unbeatable. Screw her Kryptonian physique. Screw everything. She should have just let Earth-X Oliver take her heart.

"Get up, Kara." The voice sounded clearer. Closer too. "Damn it, Kara, open your eyes and get up." And all too firm too, just like last year when they had last big argument.

Kara obeyed and fluttered her eyes open, only just a bit, because she was so tired. She sucked in sharply when she saw the face hovering over hers. Pale, sharp cheekbones, red lips, and so unbelievably corporeal.

"You're – you're dead," she whispered, her voice hoarse from hours of being deprived of water and food.

Lena – or whoever the hell this was – nodded in agreement, her lips pursed unforgivingly. "Just like you're gonna be if you don't get up," she snapped.

"Are you from another earth?"

"I wouldn't be able to get in here if I were."

Kara deepened her frown. Weak as she was, she had to make sure, so using all her strength, she lifted her hand and gingerly tried to touch the woman's face, afraid that it would fall through or Lena would disappear altogether.

She didn't want that. She didn't know who this was, or what this was. She didn't know what was happening. But she certainly didn't want Lena to disappear again.

A sharp gasp escaped her already chapped lips when her hand made contact with the silky-smooth skin that she had never been able to get out of her head, even though it had been a year since she buried her wife six-feet-under. She rubbed her thumb over Lena's cheek and heaved a dry sob, thinking that this was it. This had to be a sign that she was dying.

"No, you're not," Lena said vigorously, shaking her head to shake Kara's hand away. "You don't get to do this, Kara. Get. Up."

"Would it be so bad?" Kara whispered rhetorically.

"What?"

"Dying."

"Yes," Lena bit out, slipping one hand under Kara's shoulders in an effort to lift her up. "You cannot die."

"Why?"

"Because it's still too soon for you."

Relenting to Lena's futile efforts, Kara scoffed as she pushed herself up, groaning in pain at the same time. All the bruises and scars that both Earth-X Oliver and Earth-X Kara had left on her body before throwing her into this room.

"You want to talk to me about 'too soon'," she bit out, not without a heavy sense of bitterness at the idea.

She took a chance to have a real look at the face of her wife, despite the darkness creeping on the edges of her vision and the desire to fall back down and go to sleep. Or maybe pass out, whichever it was. And she sighed.

Because as impossible as it was, the woman in front of her really did seem like her wife. All elegant and unrelenting in her determination, hair tied into a sleek ponytail and body clad in a white button-down that just fit. Was it wrong to lust after the ghost of your dead wife? Well, no one was going to judge her anyway.

"It's too soon, Kara," Lena said with a sad smile.

Kara nodded with another sigh. "I know." She couldn't help but lean in to rest her forehead against Lena's though. It was a ghost, so Kara couldn't smell anything on her, but she could pretend. "I miss you," she offered.

Lena's hand slithered around the back of her neck, cupping her skin and stroking the little hairs at her nape, just way Kara had always liked it. "I'll be waiting for you, however long it takes." Kara clenched her jaw. "But you need to get up and go back to your people, okay? Don't let the Nazis win this time around."

"Okay."

"I'm always right here."

Kara didn't know how long she rested against Lena. However, when she finally lifted her head, her wife was gone. Nothing but empty air before her, permeated with artificial red sunlight. She clenched her jaw and her fists, fighting the urge to collapse and cry like a little baby.

Instead, she forced herself to get up, fists on her knees and shoulders hunched. And she fought her way back out. She ran into Felicity and Iris, who somehow managed to escape the Nazi soldiers. She never told them anything about seeing her wife again. She never told anyone.


Weddings used to be exciting. Happiness and love all around. Joyful music. Laughter from people they knew and strangers alike. And yet, Kara couldn't find herself to feel the same joy she used to at her own wedding – or any other wedding, at that – at this one.

The last time she had been at a wedding, she'd gotten to watch the love of her life walk down the aisle to her, entrusting her life to the hands of a Kryptonian. This time, she'd watched her sister get married for the second time after her first marriage didn't work out, and she was happy for Alex and Sam, really, but call Kara selfish if you wanted – she felt lonely.

Kara stood at the free bar, even though she couldn't get drunk to save her own life, and guzzled glass after glass of whiskey coke, wincing with each swallow. And then she turned around and watched her sister dance to N*Sync on the dancefloor. Another glass, she told herself, another glass and she'd go out there and dance with Alex.

"I had always preferred scotch."

Kara allowed herself a moment to startle at the voice before she turned a little to find Lena – the ghost – standing next to her. After that stint with the Earth-X invaders, Kara didn't think she'd get to see Lena again, but here she was, in a non-life-threatening situation. Still dressed in the white button-down, hair up in a ponytail.

"Don't judge me on my drinking choices," Kara grumbled, pointedly taking a sip from the glass. "You're not even here to share it with me."

"Whiskey coke is good too," Lena offered with a smirk. She tilted her head at the brides and hummed. "You know, I used to think that Alex and Sam would have been good together."

The blonde raised her brows at that, a little surprised that the ghost could have her own thoughts. She'd always just thought that it was her mind making it up, creating an illusion to push herself back on her own two feet.

"You never told me that."

"She was still with Maggie," Lena replied with a shrug. They watched the couple dance for a bit longer before Lena asked, "Do you remember our first dance?"

"I remember all our dances," Kara said without hesitation.

Their first dance wasn't at a wedding or a party. It wasn't anything blown out of the water. It was just one night, when they were still hovering over the line that separated friendship and relationship, and Lena had been overworking herself again, like she was prone to do.

And Kara had been watching Lena from the couch, like she was prone to do. Lena had been humming something under her breath, she couldn't recall what now. But that humming had somehow inspired Kara to do something crazy. Like getting up from the couch and extending a hand to Lena, asking her to dance.

There was no music, Lena had complained. They could make their way, Kara had replied. And then she asked Lena to step on her toes on the balcony, and she took her then-best friend to a dance. In the air. In the sky. With nothing but the moon as their company. Nothing could top that.

"I fell in love with you then," Lena revealed. "I mean, I suppose I've always been kind of in love with you, but that dance – that was the moment I realized I could never love anyone else the way I love you."

Kara wished, so fervently, that she could reach out and hold Lena without looking like a psychopath. She wanted to hold Lena again. She wanted to feel her in her arms and feel invincible in effect.

"I want to dance with you," she said, her voice broken.

"We'll get our chance again," Lena reassured. "But now, you should get out there and dance with your sister."

Kara would. She would. But for now, she needed something else. "Hold my hand?"

Lena smiled a little, and reached out hold Kara's hand, interlocking their fingers. The Kryptonian closed her eyes at the contact and inclined her head, determined to prolong this moment for as long as possible. Memorizing the creases of Lena's palm and ignoring the lack of warmth in the touch.

"I'm always right here," Lena said, the same promise she made last year.

Kara inhaled deeply and opened her eyes, releasing Lena's hand and making her way through the crowd to her sister. Not once did she look back, because she knew that Lena was long gone.


When Lena died, she had left everything to her wife. But there was a caveat: a significant portion of her remaining assets must go to converting the bloody Luthor manor into an orphanage, housing not just to children left behind but also refugees and children of color. All sorts would be welcome at the Lena Luthor Orphanage.

Kara would be remiss to not fulfil her wife's dying wish. Even after all the money poured into the orphanage, there was still enough for Kara to not have to worry for about the next hundred years of her life. Not that it mattered, she didn't marry Lena for her fortunes. Even if the CEO had been dead broke, Kara would have happily married her still.

The orphanage was almost done in its remodeling and renovation. Sometimes, Supergirl would visit to move a boulder here or prevent a roof from falling there. Nothing much.

But today, Kara Danvers, Lena Luthor's widow, stood in the garden, watching the project from afar. She made a note to hire a few gardeners to tend to the garden once the orphanage was ready. She reminded herself to get in touch with child services to get things going, because an orphanage wasn't an orphanage if it didn't take in children.

This time, she sensed the ghost before the ghost could startle her again. She turned around to find Lena sitting at the gazebo, admiring the wilting flowers and browning bushes, always finding beauty in the worst of things.

"I hope you're proud," Kara initiated, joining her dead wife at the gazebo.

"I am very proud," Lena replied, an easy smile across her lips.

Kara watched Lena for a while, forever in awe of her effervescence regardless of the situation. "Have you ever wanted kids?" she asked, because now, she realized that they had never talked about it. They had been too young to talk about things like that.

She took a sick kind of joy in the way that Lena seemed startled at the question, because Kara had always been the one startled at her presence. "With you, yes, I think I would eventually want kids," she replied.

The blonde's heart seized slightly at the thought. They could have had so much more, if the universe hadn't betrayed them so cruelly. They could have had an empire. A family. A lifetime of being in love with one another. Growing old. Losing each other at a much later time than she did with Lena.

"Adoption?"

"I think they deserve a second chance, like you and I." She nodded at the building that was still in progress in the distance. "And now, I'm going to have a bunch of kids living in a home in my name. I think that's good enough."

"It's not good enough for me."

"You know, I would have been prouder if you would move on."

Kara grimaced at the jab. Well, not so much a jab but a gentle prodding, but it was offensive nonetheless. "You're dead. You don't get to tell me what to do," she snapped, feeling a rare anger rise up in her.

"I heard what you said on Earth-1."

"I didn't know ghosts could travel to the multiverse."

"Kara."

"What?" she fumed, glaring at the ghost who wouldn't stop haunting her. "What do you want from me?"

"I want you to be happy," Lena implored.

Kara scoffed and straightened, but she didn't leave Lena's side – in spite of all the anger within, she couldn't bring herself to miss a single moment with Lena close, because who knew when would be the next time they see each other again?

Call it irrational, but the anger was very real, directed towards a person who wasn't the least bit real, even though Kara could touch her and talk to her. Many people had encouraged her to move on in the past – her sister, her two sisters-in-law, her therapist, whoever – but she had brushed them aside and pretended they were just annoying bugs in her ear.

But the fact that Lena was now telling her to do that was too much. How could she. How dare she.

"How am I supposed to be happy when you're not with me? How am I supposed to move on when there are doppelgangers of you everywhere? How am I supposed to love someone else when you're always here, haunting me?" she blurted out, gesturing wildly in the air.

"Then maybe I shouldn't be here," Lena said, raising a brow.

"Don't," Kara hissed, pointing a finger at her. "You can't leave me."

"Darling, I already left." When Kara appeared like she was ready to blow a hole in her head, Lena reached out and wrapped an arm around the blonde's shoulders, pulling her until her head was rested against the ghost's collarbone. "You don't have to love someone else. You only have to be happy."

"You're not coming back, are you?" Kara whispered.

"I'm not doing any good for you here, darling."

Kara buried her face deeper into Lena's skin, regretting that she couldn't smell anything at all, but this would do for now. For a long time to come, it seemed.

She closed her eyes and let the wind and the sound of construction lull her to sleep. This time, she didn't get to see Lena go away.


"I used to see her, you know."

"Who?"

Kara inhaled shakily and tightened her grip on her sister's hand. Her sister, Alex, who was lying in a hospital bed and didn't seem to be leaving anytime soon. It was a miracle that Alex had survived this long. It was unfair that Alex couldn't survive longer. Damn her and her human body.

"Lena. I used to see her," she said. She had never told this anyone. "The first time was when Earth-X happened, and she made me get up and live. She literally scolded me for giving up."

Alex laughed, which eventually transitioned into a short coughing bout. "Sounds exactly like Lena," she croaked. "What do you mean you used to see her though?"

Kara shrugged. "She's like…a ghost or something. I can't tell. But she was there for all the important moments. Your wedding. When I was building the orphanage. She was there and she pushed me in the right direction every time. But after I saw the Lena from Earth-1, she just…never showed up again," she lamented, kind of hoping that she hadn't yelled at Lena so that her wife would keep coming back.

"I miss her too," Alex said.

"She told me she'd always thought you and Sam would make a good couple."

"I hadn't even met Sam until after she passed."

Kara tilted her head, a somber smile on her face. "She's always had a knack of seeing things before we do."

She lifted her gaze a little and widened her eyes at the sight before her. It had been decades since she saw the ghost of Lena. That day at the orphanage, she had woken up sprawled across the bench at the gazebo, Lena long gone. And since then, she hadn't seen the woman no matter how hard she looked for her.

And yet here she was, standing at the head of Alex's bed, always smiling, a hand on Alex's shoulder. Kara sighed, a little happily and a little knowingly, because there was only one reason that Lena would be here. She squeezed her sister's hand again and returned her gaze to her.

"Guess what?" she asked, lifting Alex's hand to her cheek.

"What?"

"She's right here."

The heart monitor beeped frantically for a moment as Alex kind of freaked out at the idea of a ghost in the room. But she calmed down, upon realizing that the ghost anything but malignant.

"You'll be okay, right?" Alex asked.

"Always."

"Tell Lena I'm glad it's her."

When Kara looked up at Lena, the ghost only smiled wider, squeezing Alex's shoulder. "She's glad to be here too," Kara relayed to her sister. She reached out to brush a stray strand of hair from Alex's forehead. "I'll be okay, even if I don't want to be."

"Well, that's reassuring," Alex murmured, rolling her eyes.

"It's okay. You can go. Lena will take care of you."

"We'll be waiting," the redhead stubbornly insisted.

"And I'll be there."

"Not too soon though."

Alex's breathing grew shallower by the second, but Kara never let go of her. Soon, their friends joined them, but Alex had fallen asleep, and she would never wake up. Lena was there too, but Kara reckoned this would truly be the last time she saw her dead wife.


"You're not a ghost anymore, right?"

"Not here," Lena replied with a chuckle, burrowing her back deeper into Kara's chest.

"You really waited for me."

"I keep my promises."

This time, when Kara buried her nose in Lena's hair, she could smell it. The flowers and the shampoo.

She took the long way to find her way back into Lena's arms. But here they were anyway, because they kept their promises. This was a world that was promised to be trouble-less, only peace and quiet that they both deserved. And a forever more.


this fic is a threat