So, um. Today I broke two fingers really really badly, and I might need to get surgery to fix them. I have comminuted fractures in the proximal phalanxes of my ring and pinkie fingers. I will not describe what this looks or feels like, you can look it up online if you want, but I think "upsetting" covers it pretty well. If I had to pick a type of fracture to have, comminuted would probably be my last choice.
So I don't know what the update schedule on this is going to be like. I have a bunch of chapters mostly prepped and I'm working on the ending, but we may get to chapter 10 or 11 and just have to pause for a while. It depends on how they wind up splinting my left hand long-term, and whether I'll be able to type with my other three fingers. (I would just stop working on it entirely until I'm better, but writing fic is its own form of therapy and I REALLY do not want to stop unless absolutely necessary.) So...we'll have to see how it goes. I'm also probably going to be really late responding to reviews but please know I see and cherish each one. Y'all are the best, I love you guys. Big hug.
CHAPTER 6
X Ray - Carbon Leaf
Roxanne's next big hurdle is trying to figure out how to phrase this to Megamind. I want to take you somewhere for a surprise is not likely to be met positively, Roxanne knows; Megamind's reaction to her surprise with her sister and Derya has made her rather painfully aware of his fears.
She does still want to surprise him with this. But…maybe if the surprise wasn't the only thing planned? Maybe if it was part of a larger plan?
(Is this how Megamind feels when he plans, Roxanne wonders, feeling a tingle of excitement.)
She makes a couple more phone calls, takes some notes, then phones her sister. She doesn't have a whole lot of time; the next kidnapping is going to be soon, she's pretty sure.
"Hey," she says, when Rose answers. "Hey, I have a proposition for you. What are your feelings on an evening outside of town? There's a state park an hour or so outside of Metro and I want to bring Megamind, but I need an excuse."
Rose laughs. "Wait, what? You want to bring your villain to a park? Why?"
"It's a surprise for him," Roxanne says. "See, he told me about these things on his planet…" She explains to her sister about the little creatures Megamind mentioned the time he came to help watch Derya, the little glowing things that floated up from the beach when he was a few days old. "And I thought," she finishes, "it's the season for fireflies, you know? I thought…what do you think?"
"Aw," says Rose, sounding startled. "Aw! I love that! Yeah, I think that's a great idea, let's do it! I can bring our camp stove; maybe we could have dinner out there while the sun goes down?"
"That sounds perfect," Roxanne exclaims, glad to have her sister on board. "Yeah, dinner sounds wonderful! The last time we went camping, you made those, um…oh, the roasted tomatoes and butter chicken? Could we do that? And I can do some grilled pineapple and peaches," remembering what Minion said about fruit.
"Oh, sure," Rose says. "Yeah, those are super easy. And we'll need something green…could you also bring some kind of salad? I like the one you do with the kale and the walnuts and apples."
"Can do, no problem." Roxanne smiles and flops back on her sofa. "I'll look for baby-safe bug spray while I'm out shopping this weekend—it's still early enough in the year that we shouldn't see too many mosquitoes, but better safe than sorry." Rose hums agreement. "Oh, and there's a lake with a little beach," Roxanne adds. "If it's warm enough, maybe we could go swimming?"
"Ooo, yes! And if it's not warm enough for swimming, a fire on the beach would still be nice."
"Yeah," says Roxanne. "Yeah, it would. When do you think? Next weekend?"
"Sure," Rose says. "Yeah, we have no plans then. Aaaand…okay, google says the weather is supposed to be good that Saturday; you want to do it then? Meet at the park around two PM?"
"That sounds perfect," Roxanne says, gratitude in her voice. "Thanks, Rose."
"Hey, thank you! It's been a while since we went anywhere just for fun. This will be really nice."
"Yeah," Roxanne agrees, smiling. "Yeah, I think it will."
"I need to talk to you guys about next weekend," Roxanne says, when Minion pulls the bag off her head. Megamind, standing with his hand over the button to start their broadcast, glances up at Minion, then frowns at Roxanne.
"This plan is somewhat time-sensitive," he says. "Can it wait?"
"Oh, um—it's just—my sister and Salim and I are all going out to a park the Saturday after this one," Roxanne says quickly. "It's the first time Derya's been out of the city. I thought I'd see if you and Minion wanted to come along?"
Megamind jerks his head back, blinking at her.
"If we wanted to come, Miss Ritchi?" Minion asks, sounding confused.
"Yeah," Roxanne says, thinking quickly. "Yeah, I'm—I have my own ride, I'm borrowing my friend's car, so there would be room for you. I'm thinking you guys don't take a lot of vacations. It's just for the afternoon," she adds, when Megamind looks uncertain.
He darts a look at Minion, his expression sort of urgent and searching. "Um," he says.
"And the evening," Roxanne says, in the interest of honesty.
Minion steps in front of her. "A public park, Miss Ritchi?" he asks.
"Oh—it is, but—"
"Then I'm afraid the answer has to be no," Megamind tells her, but there's a note in his voice that Roxanne hopes might be regret.
"—but it'll just be us, there," Roxanne says. She can buy out the place for the day if the answer is yes. It won't be cheap at the last minute this way, but she doesn't tend to spend a lot of money; she can afford it. "I can promise you that."
Neither of them asks how; she's gratified at that. And touched. They must trust her, then, at least a little bit—right? If she says she can make sure of something, and they don't second-guess her?
"There's a little lake for swimming," she says, when neither of her captors moves or says anything. "Rose and Salim are bringing dinner. And I thought we could build a fire on the beach in the evening and maybe roast marshmallows, or something."
Megamind blinks once. "I like marshmallows," he says slowly. "Um. But. Derya's bedtime is before sunset, isn't that—a little late, for her?"
"She'll have her dinosaur cot to sleep in," Roxanne says, surprised that he would think of that. "And she can stay up a little bit late. Please? I think you'd have fun."
"We'll see, Miss Ritchi," Minion says. "What time should he be at your apartment, if the answer is yes?"
"Twelve-thirty," Roxanne says. That should give them time to get there by two. "You could come too, if you want."
"We'll see," Minion says again, but he sounds doubtful. "Sir? We should start now."
"Yep," says Megamind, and slaps his hand down on the button, and sends his evil laugh rolling around the battle deck as his broadcast takes over the airwaves.
Wayne drops Roxanne off on her balcony after Megamind is hauled away to prison. She sighs. It would have been good to get a solid 'yes' from Megamind about Saturday, but…well, it was something of a long shot, anyway, she supposes. The man is not exactly a social butterfly.
Which is why she nearly jumps out of her skin when she closes the door and Megamind's voice says, from her kitchenette, "What is the name of this park?"
"Jesus," Roxanne gasps, pressing a hand to her chest. "What happened to prison?"
Megamind waves a hand. He's leaning on the counter next to her sink, filling the kettle—sideways, for some reason. "Prison is boring and the cops in this town are incompetent. The park?"
"Star Lake," Roxanne tells him, flopping down onto her sofa so she can sit and unbuckle her heels. "In Judson Pines State Park." Half-bent over on her sofa, fingers working on her shoes, Roxanne looks over at him. "Does this mean you'll come?"
Megamind presses his lips together, furrows his brows. "I…would like to," he says. He sets the kettle on her stovetop, turns it on. Still standing sideways. "But. I'm. Not sure why you want me there. This sounds like a family event."
Roxanne rolls her eyes. She can't let herself make a big deal of this, or he'll spook and run. "I'm allowed to bring friends along places," she says, as though this is the most obvious thing in the world. "It's fun to go places with friends. And like I said, I'm thinking you and Minion don't get out much."
Megamind is quiet.
"Also," Roxanne says, "Rose and Salim trust you. I don't have a lot of friends who know they're both trans. They don't have a lot of friends who know they're both trans, not in the area. It means a lot to them, not to have to worry about you."
"Friends," Megamind says, finally.
Roxanne sits up and curls her legs under her. "Well, yes," she says, leaning her elbow on the back of the sofa and frowning a little. "Aren't we friends? I thought we were."
He swallows. "I see," he says. "Um. I don't…really…know? What friends entails?" He sounds hesitant, uncertain again, and Roxanne's heart twists.
"You've been doing fine so far without trying," she tells him. "Just keep doing that. Being there. Having fun with people." She pauses. "Come sit?" she asks, after a moment. She pats the cushion next to her, a safe distance away.
Megamind comes and sits. He sits with his hands on his knees, facing straight ahead. "Friends," he says again, his voice quiet.
"Aren't we?" Roxanne says, feeling suddenly uncertain, herself. She was assuming they were, but Megamind seems so totally thrown. Was she wrong?
"I'd like to be," he says, still quiet—and it's the second time he's said that, she realizes: I would like, instead of yes.
She clears her throat. "So, that's a yes," she decides, wondering if he'll contradict her. "We're friends. And you're coming with me to the park on Saturday."
Megamind smiles.
(He kidnaps her, the next week, but it almost seems like he doesn't actually have a reason to. He does this whole upset song and dance about why-is-this-machine-not-working, when even Roxanne can see the thing is barely halfway finished. And then he heaves a huge, theatrical sigh, and—)
(—tentatively offers a snack and a puzzle. Or a board game.)
(And then it clicks.)
(Friends, Roxanne realizes, amused and warmed in spite of her fading irritation at having her day interrupted. He's trying. He has no idea what he's doing, but he's trying.)
("Sure," she says, and Megamind's eyes light up. "A game sounds like fun.")
"No Minion?" she asks, when he arrives at her apartment that weekend.
He shakes his head. "No Minion, yes brainbots," he says, jerking his head at the three accompanying him as he steps inside. Roxanne stands back so he can come in, then closes the door behind him as he turns to face her.
She's trying not to stare at him, but it's difficult. He's wearing clothes. Instead of his leathers. A gray henley with a slightly longer placket than standard and dark jeans, and black studded leather boots. It's summer, so the dark colors are on the incongruous side, but as a whole, he looks...really good, actually. Especially with the cropped black gloves he's wearing. Roxanne wouldn't have expected gloves to look good with a short-sleeved shirt, but they scoop down the backs of his long hands and she has to admit Megamind wears them well.
"He did say to thank you for inviting him along," Megamind adds, when Roxanne just blinks at him. "Minion doesn't…leave the Lair, much. Except for plot reasons."
Unsure how to respond to that, Roxanne makes a sympathetic noise and continues trying not to stare at Megamind in street clothing. "Well," she says, "he'll be missed, but maybe next time. Do you need to grab anything from my apartment, or shall we head down to the car?"
"No," he says, "no, I'm good. I'm. Excited, for this. Can I put these in the cooler or would you rather they stay separate? I would dehydrate them," he adds, nodding at the brainbots, two of whom are clutching blue cubes, "but I try to avoid dehydrating items I intend to consume." He holds up two steel bottles, each of which is emblazoned with a skull and crossbones inside a bright red diamond to indicate toxicity.
Roxanne hesitates. "Um," she says. "Those…I think I would rather not put those next to the human-safe food?"
"Fair enough," Megamind says, and starts to hand them off to the brainbots.
She bites her lip. "Hang on, um—"
The mop falls over with a clatter and Roxanne is nearly beaned by her ironing board as she digs through the walk-in closet she uses for storage, looking for a certain insulated tote intended for wine bottles. It takes her a couple minutes to find the right crate, but she does find it.
"Aha!" she cries, emerging from the closet and brandishing her find. "Behold! A bag for you. Do you want those on ice?" Behind her, the ironing board topples over on top of the mop, and Roxanne winces at the sharp crash. Megamind is leaning sideways against her kitchen counter, laughing.
"Ice isn't necessary," he says, still chuckling. "But thank you, that will make this easier."
Roxanne gives him a Look. "I didn't ask if it was necessary, I asked if you wanted it."
Megamind's lips twitch. "Ice would be nice," he admits, and Roxanne sends him a smile.
"See, was that so hard," she teases, scooping ice out of her freezer and into the bottom of the tote. "Here, go ahead and zip your poison into this."
He does so, shaking his head, and he hangs the tote on his shoulder with no apparent compunction or hesitation despite the bag's cheerfully floral design.
Despite Roxanne's protestations, he also picks up the little cooler with the salad and fruits and human-safe beverages, insisting he's more balanced this way. "Cooler on one side, nectar on the other! Balance!" he says, so Roxanne shoulders the bag with the sunscreen and bug spray and beach towels.
"Do you have a swimsuit?" she asks.
"My undersuit. Under my clothes." He pushes one of his sleeves a little higher on his arm, revealing tight-fitting fabric underneath. "Do you?"
"Yep, under my clothes too. Cool, I think we're all set!" She locks the door and leads him down the hall to the elevator and pushes the button for the third floor, which offers a catwalk over into the apartment building's parking garage.
Megamind is stiff and unsmiling in the elevator, and when it stops on the seventh floor, he jumps and goes even stiffer, his shoulders tugging towards his ears. But Roxanne just reaches over and loops his arm through hers, and she ignores the startled way Megamind glances over at her.
"Hi, Mrs. McKinley," she says, smiling at the older woman who gets into the elevator. "Ground floor?"
"Please and thank you," is the reply. She gives Megamind a quick once-over, but her gaze is curious, not fearful. "This is a new one. Are you being kidnapped for a picnic?"
"No kidnappings when he's out of uniform," Roxanne says, patting Megamind's hand on her arm. "No, we're just off to visit some family. Oh, this is us." The doors roll open on the third floor.
"Have fun!" Mrs. McKinley calls, waving as the doors close behind them. Roxanne waves back over her shoulder.
Megamind relaxes, exhales.
"It's really okay," Roxanne tells him, amused. "You're in plainclothes, right? That's the deal?"
"In theory," Megamind says tightly. "Yes. But it's just gentlemen's rules. Metro Man knows, and most of the police, but if somebody sees me and screams—"
"—then I'll kick them in the teeth," Roxanne says cheerfully. Megamind snorts and finally relaxes a little more. "I really am glad you agreed to come," she adds. "I have to say, I was worried you wouldn't show up, today."
Megamind is quiet for a moment. Finally, he says, "This sounded fun. Different. I haven't…I haven't done something truly different in almost five years, now."
"Aw," she says, startled. "What? But—Megamind, you do different plots, different setups—"
"Still just plots. At the end of the day, the goal is the same." He sighs, twirls his wrist. "Destroy Metro Man. Take over Metrocity. Escape from prison. Come up with a new plan. And so on, and so forth, ad infinitum, ad nauseum." He looks over at her, shrugs. "A day trip doesn't fit. In that. So, it's different." Then he swallows. "And…I've never been out of the city, either," he admits. "Not since I was little, and I'm not sure that counts, just based on circumstances."
"Circumstances?"
"I'm not going into it," he says flatly. "Functionally, I have never left Metrocity. This will be…fun."
Roxanne peers at him. Okay, she won't pry, but she isn't afraid to gently tease until he tells her to stop. "You're not going to have some kind of childhood-trauma-induced panic attack when we hit city limits, are you?"
Megamind laughs at that, and he does sound genuinely amused, so Roxanne figures it was an okay question to ask. "No," he says, still half-laughing. "No. I doubt it, anyway, but," he turns and smiles at her, "I guess we'll find out, won't we?"
Megamind does not have a panic attack when they hit city limits. He spends most of the first half of their drive with his face all but pressed to the window, staring at the trees and tall grasses along the roadside—oddly, he seems to be relaxing more the farther they go from the city.
"Roxanne!" he exclaims, at one point. "Roxanne there were deer in that field!"
"Huh," she says, blinking a bit at his tone. She doesn't hear that one from him a lot—bright, excited, surprised. "They don't usually come out this time of day."
He huffs. "I know what I saw."
"I believe you," she says quickly. "Deer are crepuscular; you usually see them around dusk and dawn. But I've seen them at weird times of day, too, a few times. My family used to do a lot of road trips when I was growing up."
Megamind makes an interested noise, still staring out the window. "Road trips to where?"
"I had an uncle in Montana with a cabin out in the mountains. We'd drive out and visit every summer. We still have the place for vacations." She sighs. "I haven't been back there in a while," she says, regret in her voice. "Mom lives out near there, now, but it's far enough that you definitely want to spend a week or so there for the drive to be worth it. I haven't been able to commit the time."
Megamind frowns. "Roxanne," he says, "do you like your job?"
"What?" she says, thrown by the change of subject. "Yes, I love my job."
"Okay, but do you?" he asks. "Truly? You haven't said anything good about it in quite some time. And Minion mentioned to me that you seemed…unsatisfied."
Roxanne sighs. "It's complicated," she admits. "I used to enjoy it way more. Lately, it's felt like kind of a grind."
"What would you like to be doing?"
"I'd love to be in accountability journalism," Roxanne says. "But it's a tough field to find steady employment in. Fact-checking is one thing, but the kinds of projects I really enjoy tend to take a while to crack open, you know? Some of them can take years. So most major news outlets don't keep those kinds of journalists on staff; they pay by the story." She sighs. How about you? she wants to ask. If you weren't a villain, what would you be doing? But she's pretty sure that won't go over well. He seemed very touchy about it at Waffle House.
And she doesn't get the opportunity anyway, because Megamind says, "That sounds much more your style, Roxanne, I have to say. Your attention to detail is—" And suddenly he cuts off with a pained gasp and curls forward in his seat, pressing his hand to the side of his face.
"What?" Roxanne asks, alarmed. "What's wrong? Do you need me to pull over?"
Megamind shakes his head. "No, no—it's nothing, it's—my eye, sorry—" He hisses, rubs his fingers into his eye with his thumb on his temple. "Happens sometimes," he grits out. "Damned optic nerve gets caught on—um—on a thing, it's—a thing I have."
"Are you going to be okay?"
"Yeah," he groans, still massaging around his eye socket. "Just—hhhhhhh—give me a minute."
Roxanne glances over at him, concerned, but she keeps driving. Megamind stays where he is: hunched forward in the passenger seat, with his fingers pressed to his left eye, grumbling and flinching.
Until finally he bursts out, "No. No. Pull hhhhhhhpull the car over."
Roxanne throws her four-ways on and does so, wondering what on earth is happening. Megamind unbuckles and throws his door open and flings himself up onto his feet as soon as the car stops moving, stumbling out onto the berm.
"Okay," Megamind says. He sounds almost angry. "I am terribly sorry about this, Miss Ritchi; if I was at home I would have Minion take care of it. The brainbots can't; they're too sharp."
"It's okay," she says quickly, hurrying around the car. "Don't worry about it; how can I help?"
Megamind straightens and faces her. His left eye appears to be stuck at an angle, twitching intermittently. "I need you to hit me," he says, "as hard as you can."
She recoils. "What?"
"I need you," he says again, impatient, "to hit me. Channel all that oh-great-it's-you-again-why-do-you-keep-kidnapping-me energy you used to have and knock my eye back into position."
Roxanne stares at him. That. Was. A shockingly accurate imitation of both her vocal cadence and her actual voice, there. Also, what?
"Preferably soon," Megamind snaps, clenching his hands at his sides. "This is excruciatingly painful."
She swallows and shakes herself. "Oh—okay, so—um, hold still—"
She bites her lip, then pulls her hand back and slaps Megamind smartly across the face. His head snaps sideways. He grunts.
"Okay," he says, his voice tight, and faces her again. His eye is still stuck. "Again. A little higher. As hard as you can; don't hold back."
"Megamind—"
"Please," he hisses through clenched teeth. "Please."
She takes a deep breath through her nose, then releases it through her mouth, steadying herself. Then she takes another breath, and—
The sharp sound of her palm on his skin makes her wince.
"Fuck," he says, breathless, as she shakes out her hand. "Goddammit. It almost—hhhhhh. Almost. Again."
"Would punching work?" she asks, desperate, her heart in her throat. "I just, I'm so sorry, I can do it harder that way, I can—if—would that be better?"
Megamind nods and straightens. "Yes," he says, sounding very tense. "Yes, if you can get more power that way, then yes. Try that. Right here, aim—aim for right here." He taps the top of his cheek just to the side of and under his eye, then drops his hand and clenches his fists again. Whines involuntarily, his whole face tight with pain.
"Okay," Roxanne whispers, bouncing a little and shaking out her arms to try and wind herself up. "Okay, okay—on three, ready—one, two—" She clenches her fist and bends her arm into a right angle at her elbow, and then she aims for the side of his face where he showed her.
She feels the shock in her first two knuckles as they make contact. Megamind yelps and stumbles. But—
"Oh," he says, gasping with relief in the next second, as Roxanne darts forward to catch him. "Oh that's so much better, oh thank evil."
Roxanne grips his arm and tugs him up so she can see his face, cup his cheek, look at his eyes. Megamind is blinking hard and his eyes are watering, but they're clear and focused; the left one has come unstuck at last. "Are you okay?" she asks, frantic and upset. She sweeps her thumb over his cheekbone where she struck him. "Megamind, god, I'm so sorry, are you okay?"
He nods, blinking at her. "Yes, yes I'm fine. I'm fine." He grips her wrist, then takes her hand in both of his and bends his head so he can inspect her knuckles and the bones in her hand. "Are you okay? I didn't—oh, I didn't even think; Miss Ritchi, you could have seriously hurt yourself—"
"It's fine," she says. Her hand hurts, but not in a way that means anything is broken. "It's fine, I'm fine; are you—Megamind, please let me see; is your eye—?"
He looks up at her, then blinks and freezes as she cups his jaw in one hand and presses the other gently to the place where she hit him.
"I am so sorry," Roxanne says.
Megamind blinks. Touches the back of her hand.
"I'm okay," he says, looking at her, both eyes big and startled. "You fixed it. And I did ask you to hit me, Miss Ritchi; it isn't as though you wanted to."
"I didn't want to," she says, still cradling his face in her hands. "I haven't wanted to hit you in years, Megamind. Not in years."
His lips twitch. "We shall call it a belated gift, then," he says, humor warming his voice. Carefully, he steps back, away from her, and then he turns back to the car. "Thank you for helping me," he says over his shoulder. "I'm…sorry you had to see that."
Roxanne swallows. But she goes around the car and slides back into the driver's seat. "What was that?" she asks, as Megamind buckles himself in. The brainbots are chattering quietly amongst themselves in the back seat, but they don't sound particularly agitated. "What happened? Is it going to happen again?"
"No," he says firmly, tipping his seat back. "No, because I'm going to keep my eyes closed, now. I think—looking out the window, the flicking motion eyes have to do in order to see at these speeds—I think it aggravated my, um, my problem? A problem I have on that side. It's just an old wound, nothing major, but it does act up sometimes."
"An old wound," she says, tentatively relieved. "Just an old wound."
"Yes," he says. "That's all. Thank you for helping me." He tips his face towards her with his eyes closed and grins. "You have a fantastic right hook, Miss Ritchi. I'm impressed."
She flushes. "Yes, well. We're stopping at the next gas station and getting ice for your face and my hand."
He hums. "Sounds like a plan."
To her surprise, when she pulls into the Sunoco and turns to her traveling companion, Megamind's face has relaxed and his lips are parted in sleep. One hand is curled loosely in his lap, the other is draped over his stomach.
He looks. Peaceful.
Also very tired, Roxanne realizes, looking at him. There are shadows under his eyes and in the lines around his mouth. His eyebrows are relaxed, but there are two small wrinkles between them that she thinks are probably permanent. Which is odd, because Megamind does look fairly young. He hasn't appeared to age much at all since he started his rise to villainy more than a decade ago, especially compared to his heroic counterpart, whose hair is more gray than brown, now.
Roxanne leaves the car running in an attempt not to wake him, and is careful closing her door. She quickly buys a bag of ice, a roll of paper towels, and a small package of off-brand ziploc sandwich baggies.
And, remembering a comment Megamind made once about nougat, two large Three Musketeers candy bars. Yes, he did ask her to hit him, but she still feels awful about it.
She knocks on his window to wake him up, then bounces the bag of ice on the pavement a few times. Megamind opens his door and swings his legs down, frowning at her as she rips the top of the bag open. "What are you doing?"
"Ice," she says, handing him the box of plastic baggies. "Can you open these for me? And get a couple out?"
He does so. "I'm okay," he says, sounding both amused and bewildered. "Really."
"That's great, but I'll feel better if we get some ice on your eye," Roxanne says. "Don't tell me it doesn't hurt. I know you're tough, but come on." She scoops some ice into the baggie Megamind is helpfully holding open for her, then takes it from him and seals it, wraps it in a couple of paper towels. "Here."
Slowly, he takes it and holds it to the side of his face, blinking at her. Roxanne doesn't look at him as she makes one for her hand—she just tosses her finished home-made ice pack onto the driver's seat so she can heave the bag of ice onto the floor of the car behind Megamind's seat. It won't hurt to have extra ice for the cooler, and whatever melts onto Jo's carpet will dry. It's just water, after all.
"And here again," she tells him as she climbs into the car. She hands him the chocolate bars.
"Oh," he says, sounding both startled and genuinely touched, "you—you got me candy! These are my favorite!"
"I know," she says, grinning over at him. "You mentioned, once. And I'm glad you did, because otherwise you would have been getting Reese's Pieces."
Megamind looks confused for a moment, and then his expression clears and he laughs. "E.T.?" he says. "Really?"
"Oh, good, you got the reference," Roxanne says, pulling back onto the main road.
He chuckles. "That movie gave me so many nightmares," he comments, his mouth full of nougat.
"Aw, really? I would have thought you would like it," she says, surprised. "Alien scientist befriends small human child? No?"
"Considering the subplot involving shady government agents and men in white coats, no, not my thing."
"Mmmm," she hums, pitching her voice toward sympathy. "That's understandable. I can see how that might hit close to home."
Megamind, reclining in the passenger seat so his eye doesn't pitch another fit at him, turns his head to look sidelong at her. "Are you mocking me?" he asks. "I can't tell."
"What? No, how would that even translate to mockery?"
He shrugs.
"I'm not mocking you," she tells him, glancing over. "I might tease you, Megamind, but I won't mock."
He studies her for a moment, then nods. And then he breaks the second candy bar in half and proceeds to menace her with the bigger half until she finally laughs and takes it away from him.
She does poke him in the arm with the broken nougaty end of it, though, before she eats it. Megamind squawks at her and laughs and has to bend himself awkwardly to lick the chocolate spot off his skin, grinning.
