"Siirh" is pronounced as a sibilant descending whistle. Could also be spelled Shur, I suppose, or Seer. If you place your tongue behind your upper teeth, on the pizza ridge (that ridge where you burn your mouth on pizza), and give it a little gap, and blow through the gap to make a sort of falling, whistling-wind sound as you make your lips form the word "sew," you're probably close.
I started to get this chapter ready to post & then it wouldn't stop going, you know how it is. Thank you all for being so patient! And I could stop with this chapter - it feels like a potential stopping place - but I really want to take a brief look at how things progress, and I do have several thousand more words to that effect... T^T
I think I'm going to keep going. I have the rest of it drafted, including the ending. I think this will be okay.
CHAPTER 13
Long Away - Queen
Megamind takes a deep breath as he steps into Rose and Salim's dining room, unconsciously lifts his chin and squares his shoulders. He is still deeply embarrassed about allowing anyone to see him in the state he was in last night, and while he isn't limping half as badly as he was, coming downstairs without his underlay feels like it can only backfire spectacularly, somehow. The shirt he's wearing is another short-sleeved black one with a floral print, which means his prosthetic is fully visible, and that's…he doesn't like that, either.
Wayne's jaw drops as Megamind steps onto the hardwood floor. "Jesus," he says, and it honestly is not evident whether he means it as a prayer or an oath. "Was…did I do all of that?"
"The split lip was you," Megamind says dryly, pausing in the wide doorway into the living room. Behind him, Rose and Salim appear to be finishing up getting breakfast ready in the kitchen. The table is already set. "The split lip, and the arm." He flexes his fingers a couple times, glancing down at his prosthetic. "The rest was mostly me, trying to hurt you. And various cops, over the years. A couple of gangsters." His expression darkens. "Someone I trusted."
Wayne shakes his head, stunned. "I'm…I'm so sorry, little buddy. I had no idea."
"Not many people do," Megamind admits, frowning. "It's…the people in this house. And the brainbots." He frowns harder. "I'm not sure even the spiderbot knows. I don't know how much it shares with the host."
Wayne swallows. "Okay," he says. "Well. Uh. And, um, Roxie said…you're thinking about retirement?"
Megamind's expression flattens.
"Megamind," Roxanne murmurs, beside him, and takes his hand, squeezes gently.
"Yes," Megamind says, after struggling for a moment. "Yes. Retirement. Less thinking about, more committed to."
"Really?" This is Minion, seated in one of the armchairs in the living room. He doesn't sound startled, but there is a wary note in his voice. "Are you committed?"
Megamind swallows. "I think," he says, "I think I have to be."
Minion frowns. "Sir—"
"No," Megamind says, "listen," but he walks slowly to the sofa and settles uncomfortably there before he speaks again. Roxanne sits down beside him.
"Villainy is my life," Megamind says, finally, staring at the coffee table with worry lines etched on his forehead and around his mouth. "But. It is also going to be my death, if I keep going with it. And I can't—Minion, you know I can't see much of a future for myself, for us. And, but death—I realized, last night—I can't actually even imagine anything else. Living. A future. But—I want—" He pauses, feeling his expression pinch slightly. He takes a deep breath; he is not going to cry. He shed quite enough tears last night and he is not about to shed any more, especially not in front of his nemesis.
"I want one," he says, finally, breathing steadily. "I want a future. I want to see it." He swallows. "I want," he says softly, and pinches his lips together under his scowl.
Minion nods slowly.
"You haven't said that in years, Sir," he says, very quietly. "Not since we were kids."
Megamind's lips twitch into a wry, humorless smile. "I think I am in a slightly better headspace, these days, Minion," he says. "And we have more resources now, and I know the tradeoffs. Plus it just...isn't terribly engaging anymore, anyway."
Minion cocks his head.
"You were right," Megamind says, his voice heavy. "Jawbreaker was far too rushed. Flawed. Poorly tested. I just—I just wanted to get it done and over with." He frowns. He hasn't had a slump this bad in a long time, and never with a battlesuit in play.
"We haven't had as many ongoing plots as usual, lately," Minion agrees, after a moment, and—oh, that is also a good point. Megamind nods. Stills. Frowns harder as tension gathers and coils in his shoulders.
"...Sir?"
"I'm bored," he finally bursts out, sending a ripple down his spine and curling his fingertips against the air. "I'm bored and I'm tired and I don't, I don't want to die, but at least if I was dead I wouldn't be so bored and tired!" He throws his hands up, slouches against the back of the sofa. Roxanne puts her hand on his shoulder, but he twitches irritably away. She withdraws.
Megamind grits his teeth, annoyed with himself. "I keep waiting and waiting for something to catch my attention," he snaps, "but I haven't felt truly inspired to make anything except that damned teething thing in months, and that turned out to be unnecessary! I've thought about even really pulling out all the stops on some kind of satellite death ray, and even that isn't catching my interest!"
"What?" Minion sounds very startled. "But you love satellites! You love death rays!"
"Apparently not!" Megamind exclaims. Then he sighs, shrugs. "So…retirement. If villainy is going to kill me, and I don't even enjoy it anymore anyway…" He trails off.
Then he hesitates, glances at Roxanne, shifts his leg a little to press the length of his thigh to hers.
"And Roxanne is confident there are other ways," he says, slowly moving his hand sideways until he can brush the backs of his fingers against Roxanne's. He isn't sure if she still wants to—but she slips her hand behind his, nets their fingers, squeezes. Megamind manages to twitch a smile at her. "She's…I think she's been trying to tell me for a while, now. And. I am ready to listen. If I don't have to do this—if I really can do something else—" He looks back over at Minion. "I think that would be wise."
"That's good, Sir," Minion says. "I'm glad. But I do worry that—"
"And I need you with me on this," Megamind adds. He can feel the tension still coiled inside him despite the reassurance of Roxanne's hand in his. "I need you. I need you to be with me on this. Please, Minion; I—can't—I can't do this without you and I don't—" He cuts himself off, clenching his teeth as he looks away. "I doubt I'll be able to stick with this otherwise," he admits. "I know, I know it's going to be hard and I'm…scared. It…really would be nice not to not go extinct quite yet."
Wayne stares at him.
"I'm with you, Sir," Minion says, after a moment. "Of course I'm with you. I'll always be with you; I just worry."
"Breakfast is ready!" says Rose, coming in and wiping her hands on a dishtowel. She sends Megamind a bright smile. "Good morning! Feeling better, I hope?"
Mostly what he's feeling is extremely tense and awkward, but she doesn't look like she's judging him. He smiles tightly and stands, wincing a little as his hip protests. The sofa is somewhat lower-set than he ordinarily prefers. "I appreciate your help last night," he says. "I apologize for the trouble."
She shakes her head. "No trouble," she says. "Just helping a friend. Come and eat."
Megamind does not want to eat. Megamind wants to crawl into a small hole and curl up there and go to sleep until the world is a different place and he doesn't have to deal with this one.
(And he is definitely going back to bed when he gets home. Saying everything out loud like that helped solidify things somewhat but he is going back to bed, and then probably he is going to freak out for a while, because it all still feels pretty impossible. If Megamind isn't a villain, who is he? What is he?)
But. Breakfast. Minion will frown at him if he doesn't eat something, and Megamind owes his friend this much after all his pigheaded recalcitrance of the previous week.
"I'm confused," Wayne says, finally speaking up as they all move into the dining room to sit down. "Why—why did you not tell me about this? I mean, I am sorry. Seriously, I am. But—how could you not tell me? I would have been more careful! You just went ahead and let me believe you developed a healing factor? I even mentioned it! A couple times! And you said nothing!" He shakes his head. "And, and so I don't know if I should be more sorry or more upset, here! I mean, I apparently cut off your arm and didn't notice? I thought I smelled blood a couple times, but—"
"You didn't actually cut it off," Minion begins, his tone acrid, but Megamind interrupts him.
"I was already wearing the underlay at that point," he says. "And I didn't tell you because, yes, you would have held back. People would have realized, would have figured it out."
"This is why you gave me such crap about the x-ray vision back when we started," Metro Man accuses, "isn't it. Because you didn't want me to see—" His eyes flicker blue and he breaks off and goes wide-eyed, and Megamind, who was halfway into his chair, is back on his feet and slamming both hands flat on the table in the next half-second.
"Do not do that," he snarls, teeth bared, organic eye flashing. "You invasive selfish son of a cocksucking fuckcycle do not do that or I will rip your consciousness out of your body and shove it directly into the brainbot development nexus to be subsumed by the collective, repurposed, and rewritten into something with basic fucking respect for other people's privacy!"
Wayne leans back and holds up his hands, blinking. "Okay, okay, sorry," he says, sounding startled. "Jeez."
Slowly, Megamind straightens. "And no," he says, in a voice like ice, "that wasn't why. The underlay is interdimensional, you couldn't see through it anyway."
"Then why—"
"I don't owe you an explanation,"Megamind tells him coldly. "You keep that x-ray shit to yourself or I will make you think you were never born. Got it?"
Wayne nods.
Megamind finally settles into his chair and glances down, then slowly uncurls his fingers from the handle of the utensil he grabbed when he was shouting. His prosthetic's automatic tension regulators are set to turn off when his blood pressure gets to a certain point, and the spoon is badly warped. "Ah. I seem to have crushed a spoon," he says. "My apologies."
"I'll fix it," Wayne says, subdued. He holds out a hand, and after a moment, Megamind tosses it to him. Salim murmurs something and quietly starts the tray of eggs and sausage going around the table.
Megamind scoops breakfast onto his plate, trying to think. He should—should he apologize for the outburst? He doesn't think he was in the wrong, but—expressions of anger tend not to be met with sympathy from humans—none of these particular humans seem to have a problem, but—
"You okay?" Rose asks, raising her eyebrows at him from where she's getting Derya settled in her high chair. Megamind blinks at her, too out of place and embarrassed and uncertain to figure out a response. After a moment, she glances over her shoulder. "Wayne, apologize; that was beyond rude and I know for a fact you know better."
"I apologized already," he protests, and Rose turns and glares at him. He flushes. "Sorry I didn't ask," he mumbles.
Megamind jerks his chin in a nod. He has the feeling that Wayne is going to be apologizing a lot, for a while, and…well, it's not okay. But. "Find me some good lawyers, and we'll call it even," he says. "Something tells me I'm going to need them."
They'll get there. Eventually.
Wayne nods. "Yeah, absolutely. You…so, do you want to get together later and come up with some kind of plan for all this? Brainstorm session?"
Formulating an approach sooner rather than later is a good plan, but he still hesitates. He is tired, still, in a dull sort of monotone way that goes all the way to his marrow, and feeling even less charitable towards Metro Man than usual after the x-ray thing. Wayne has a lot of nerve, asking if Megamind wants to get together right after pulling something like that.
"Tomorrow," he says, finally. "Yes. Not today."
"You can meet at my place, if you Want," Roxanne offers. "Neutral ground."
"That sounds great, Roxie, thanks," says Wayne, and Megamind nods.
Roxanne picks up his splinted hand and kisses it, the side of his thumb, and Megamind takes a deep breath and flutters a smile at her and returns to his breakfast with an effort. The eggs are good, and the sausage is fantastic. Megamind has not had lamb sausage before, but he is definitely going to have to have it again. He stays quiet as conversation rises, begins to flow and ebb around him, and he keeps his eyes on his food.
He'll be okay. Probably. He isn't looking forward to this brainstorming thing, but. It won't be the first time he's worked with Wayne on something. And he has Minion, he has Roxanne. He has Rose and Salim and Derya. And he hasn't had any issues with actually wanting to die in a long time—and Roxanne was right: just because he can't see a future for himself doesn't mean he doesn't have one. Time moves forward; Megamind moves with it.
Well. He can learn to move with it, anyway.
He glances over at Derya, who is happily making her way through a jar of something orange with her mother's help. Her first birthday isn't so far off, he realizes. Only a few more months. He can sort of see himself making it until then, if nothing else. And when he gets there, well, maybe by that point he'll have gotten the hang of this 'living without villainy' thing and it won't seem like such a tall order to make it to her second.
He'll be okay.
"Megamind, listen," Rose says, after a while. He looks up. "Salim and I talked a little, last night, and any time you want to stop by and visit or even just hang out if you need a change of scenery, is okay by us. I can't promise we'll always be terribly entertaining, but you are always welcome. Okay?"
Megamind blinks. Frowns as he tries to switch gears. "Okay," he says slowly. "Thanks? Thank you?"
"Here," Salim says, leaning across the table and offering something small and flat. A key.
Slowly, Megamind takes it, stares down at it. This is a first.
Then Salim jumps. "Oh wait," he says, before Megamind can figure out how to reply. "I forgot—let me see that really quick—"
Mystified, Megamind hands it back to him as Rose makes an exasperated sound and says, "Salim, don't."
"No no, he'll think it's funny," he exclaims, digging in his pocket and then clipping something to the key. "Okay," he says, grinning and passing Megamind the key again and dragging his pajama sleeve through the butter in the process. "Now it's yours."
Megamind blinks down at it, then snorts. His key is now attached to a glittery blue keychain in the big-eyed teardrop shape of a stereotypical alien head. "Wonderful," he says, laughing in spite of himself as he feels some of his stress and embarrassment ease. "That's fantastic."
"Told you," Salim says to Rose, who shakes her head at him. "Similar senses of humor."
"Dorks," Rose replies, smiling at Derya and attempting another spoonful of baby food. "I am surrounded by dorks."
"We aren't all dorks," Wayne begins, in a tone of offense, but Megamind cuts him off.
"No, of course not," he says. "One of us is an infant."
Wayne rolls his eyes as the humans laugh.
The ride back to Evil Lair begins in something like an awkward silence. Minion is wearing the expression that means he's thinking, and Megamind knows he has a Talk coming, but for now, he gazes out of the windshield and lets Minion contemplate whatever it is he needs to say.
He's tired. His head hurts. There's so much new, right now—Roxanne loves him? And he's not going to be a villain anymore? At least he's between projects at the moment; he would feel very strange leaving anything half-built. A year ago, he would probably have had three or four things in the works and in various stages of planning and construction, but lately…well, as Minion noted, he doesn't really have much in the pipeline right now.
It's possible that giving up villainy won't actually be as difficult as he fears. If he has to stop, then doing so when he's in the middle of one of his slumps anyway is probably the best time. It just feels incomprehensible, is all.
"Sir," Minion finally says quietly, glancing over at him. "I need to ask. Do you want to quit villainy?"
Megamind takes a deep breath and forces himself to stop trying to think about the future. Refocuses on the present. "Frankly, Minion…I don't know what I want," he admits. "I just…I just know I want to live, if I can, and I can't do that like this. I mean, look at me." He gestures vaguely at himself. "What happens when I blow my legs off? You know it's my legs or my head next; it's only a matter of time. And there are limits to what prosthetics can do, even for me. I'll never swim again, if I live; not properly."
"I know." Minion shakes his head. "And I am with you. I worry, you know I worry—but—well." He reaches over, pats Megamind gently on the shoulder. "Sir—Siirh—I want you to live, too. You're all I've got."
Megamind bites his lip. "Thank you. I…and I'm…sorry. I don't know what's wrong with me; maybe I'm getting old. I just…" He trails off, exhales. "I had…one blissfully normal day. With friends. No hiding."
Ah. Yes. Lake day. Minion had known, as soon as Megamind walked into Evil Lair late that night after coming home from that lake with Roxanne, there were going to be repercussions. Megamind had been very quiet, his gaze almost skittish, and he went to bed earlier than he had in months. But what the repercussions actually were, Minion couldn't be sure—good? bad? Megamind wasn't going to talk about it, that much was clear. When the corners of Megamind's mouth turn down, Minion knows pushing him to talk will do more harm than good. But he didn't go into one of his dark moods, the way Minion feared he would, and as far as Minion knows he isn't hurting himself, so…
Megamind pauses for so long Minion begins to wonder if he's lost the flow of things, but finally he softly says, "I had one day. Just one. And I used to think—what wouldn't I give to have a day like that one. Outside. I even, I swam with them, Minion, I—they saw my gills, even, and…it was okay. I was okay." He pauses. Exhales. "And I thought. I want…I want that." He swallows, and Minion's heart sinks. "You asked what I wanted and…that's…what I want, Minion. Some semblance of normal. Still." He looks down at his hands, one of them splinted and the other mechanical. "I thought—it wouldn't be so bad, really, seeing that, touching it," he adds, "I really did think I gave all that up as a lost cause. But…I do still want it. So, so badly."
Minion glances over at him. "We aren't normal, Sir," he says, very gently.
Megamind looks up. "I know. I know, but—we can have normal things, Minion," he says, in a more solid sort of voice. His I'm-Having-An-Idea-I-Might Be-Excited-About voice. "Some things, anyway. Friends. People who at least don't scream or sneer when we walk into the room." He stares out the windshield, grips his knees. "It happened once, it—it can happen again. Roxanne seems very sure I can do something else. Do something else, be happy. Consistently happy, I mean, and I do think she knows what she's talking about." He sends a smile in Minion's direction, but what Minion can see of it looks brittle, uncertain. "I trust Roxanne; I—I know she loves me, I know she doesn't want to hurt me; I love her and I trust her. It's…it's just. A lot."
Minion swallows. It happened once after we kidnapped a human enough times that they finally formed a bond with us, he doesn't say. We have failed over and over and over at being good. Failed over and over at simply connecting with people. Miss Ritchi only began to like us within the past couple of years, have you forgotten? And school? Have you forgotten?
He doesn't say any of that. Megamind is talking with something that sounds dangerously like hope in his voice, and it makes Minion's fishy heart squeeze. And Megamind already said he needs Minion to be with him on this, which means he needs Minion not to echo everything he's probably trying very hard not to think, himself.
The bad guy role always was a bitter pill for him to take.
So Minion sighs, and changes the subject.
"Yes, she mentioned that earlier," he says. "Loving you. How long has that been the case? Do you know?"
"Since we went to that park," Megamind says. "She says we'll go again this weekend. You should come, Minion. It's nice."
"It sounded nice," Minion admits, because it did. What very little Megamind said about it did sound like something Minion is interested in. He's never eaten a tadpole before, but he wouldn't mind giving it a chance. "Will it be empty again?"
"I don't know," Megamind says. "But even if it isn't…I'm tired of hiding." He scowls. "I'm tired of it. I'm tired of—I'm tired of shadows and I'm tired of hiding and I want—I want. More. Want to not have to hide anymore. If Roxanne says we can make that happen—"
Minion can't help himself, this time. "How is she so sure, Sir?"
"Minion."
"I am with you, I promise I am," he says. "I swear, I am with you one hundred percent. But I don't…actually know what else we can do besides villainy, if we stay in Metro City."
Megamind nods and rubs a hand up over his scalp, then drops it into his lap with a sigh. "Neither do I. But, maybe—city defense? If Metro Man is quitting, too, there's a void to fill, and—"
"That route does not end with you any less dead, Sir."
"—and the brainbots can fill it; yes, thank you Minion; I am aware that hero is just as dangerous an occupation as villain." Megamind sends him a mildly disgruntled look. "But we can start there. Defense, at least. The host is swarming at nearly hundred and twenty thousand strong and still growing; it's getting harder to find enough things for them to do. Training them in city defense, or community support—we could do it. You know some of them have already gone the companionship route; we could expand that."
This is true. It's rare, but a few of Megamind's brainbots have adopted themselves into families in Metro City. One of them has bonded with a man who lives in the little tent community under the seventy-ninth street interchange. Megamind has used that to his advantage once or twice; it's a handy excuse to drop by and 'check on things,' gather information from the people who see the effect of new policies most quickly and feel them hardest. Seek input. And very quietly see what might be needed in the way of supplies.
It could be a start. Minion doesn't see how it could possibly help, but—
Well, but people are going to panic when Metro Man steps down. That's just a given, really. He and Megamind can take advantage of that, play off of that, can't they? A little bit, at least. Metro City is going to be a massive target for transient villains in the months following their retirement, Minion knows that's a given, too; who better to defend the city against villains than the ones who held her in their clutches for fourteen solid years?
Huh.
Well, that's not so hard to get his head around, if he thinks about it like that. It's just…doing what needs to be done, really. Minion is good at that.
He feels himself perk up a little; it's a start. And Minion does trust Roxanne, too. He very much wants her to be right about all this. Minion doesn't think terribly highly of humans, very much, but Miss Ritchi is an exception. And if she thinks they can do this…
Well. Minion will throw his whole weight behind anything that ends in not dying, and Roxanne has certainly trusted him enough over the years. He owes her this much.
"All right," Minion says, finally. "Let's go for it. Let's give defense a shot."
"I know it doesn't feel possible—"
"We've done plenty of impossible things already, Sir," Minion says, nodding to himself and feeling some of the stiffness ease from his lateral line system. "Let's do some more! We can always find another way, if this goes south. There's always another way."
Megamind takes a deep breath. "Yes," he says. "Yes. Exactly. We have options. I—might not be able to see all of them yet, but—we do have options."
"I like the idea of a plan that mostly involves not dying," Minion offers. Megamind snorts in spite of himself. "I just worry. You said earlier, you're scared, and the last time you started talking like this—that came from fear, too, I think."
Megamind smiles ruefully. "Fear and despair, Minion. Fear and despair." He shakes his head. "I don't know exactly what this is, but I think it might be fear and hope, this time?" He glances down at his phone, which has—wonder of wonders—more than one contact in it. "And we have people who care about us, now," he adds. "More than just our uncles. People who can actually help."
"They certainly seem to want to, Sir," Minion agrees. He was right, then: it was hope. That's...dangerous. Megamind has been hopeful before and it rarely ends well. "I haven't had the opportunity to talk to them, very much. But they seem nice." He frowns a little, then shrugs. "Well. If you think we can do it, then I think we can do it, too. The hero says he has some thoughts—apparently Lord Scott wants to retire? If he takes over his father's company—"
Megamind groans.
"—and restructures it in a way specifically designed to fully disrupt a multi-billion dollar industry, with an end goal of total overhaul, do you think you might be interested in assisting with that?"
He looks up. "Which industry?"
"Medical. Healthcare."
Megamind blinks, and then bares all his teeth in a mirthless smile. "Oh, yes. Yes, I think that sounds like fun. What on earth got him thinking about that?"
"I mentioned that we would need something to do," Minion says. "And he suggested Scott Corp as having potential. Apparently he's been trying to help some people with their bills, in recent years. He also mentioned setting up some kind of charity along those lines—the board of directors at the company may pose a problem—but he has no background in business."
Megamind waves a hand. "The current board of directors won't go for it, no," he says, "but I can encourage them to step down, no problem."
Then he sighs a little. "But first, I think, we take a break. Learn to breathe. Exist. In the city. I'm tired, Minion," he says, leaning his head on the window of the invisible car and closing his eyes. "Jumping right into a new endeavor…probably will not help me be any less tired."
"Taking a break sounds like a lovely plan—if you can actually manage it, that is." Minion's tone goes teasing in spite of his nerves. "I have some new quilting patterns I want to try. But we can do this, Sir. We've gone this far. We can go a little farther."
Megamind nods.
He does go back to bed. Frankly, he isn't sure what else to do, and his mind right now resembles nothing so much as radio static or television snow. He strips down to his undersuit and plugs his phone in to charge, and then he goes to bed, where he lies awake for a while with his eyes closed and his thoughts whirling and buzzing in his mind, the old familiar tangle of
(can't)(want)(have to try)(won't let me)(destined for)(won't listen)(have to try)(won't let me)(can't do this)(want)(try again)(listen)
spinning and spinning and spinning into so much white noise until he finally falls asleep.
Across town, Roxanne paces her apartment, thinking.
She's never been with anyone who held her like that after an argument. Let alone while they sounded frustrated at what she was saying. Megamind is something special, but for so many years of their years of snipping and snapping at each other, the most she ever thought of him was that he was witty and smart. She thought plenty of bad things about him, too, and she was never shy about speaking her mind. He hasn't said anything about that, but Roxanne can't help but feel bad about it. Repairing that won't be easy.
He seemed so quiet when he left her sister's house. Quiet is not like him, even when he is in a mood. And Minion was still worried, still harboring some reservations, Roxanne could tell.
So, Minion is uncertain and Megamind is depressed. But depending on how much of the issue is situational, moving them towards some kind of retirement that eventually includes public acceptance might be even better than Roxanne is hoping. And Megamind, at least, knows something is wrong; he knows he does want more than what he can see for himself. So, that's okay. It's a starting place; Roxanne can work with that. She just—
(Minion's 'well, yes; death is generally what happens to villains' comment earlier still has Roxanne biting her lip every time she thinks of it. Like it was nothing. Like it went without saying.)
Is—she doesn't want to push them into anything, just on principle, but—but if she doesn't push, then—
Megamind might want to change but it's a pretty safe bet he doesn't know how to do that on his own. If Roxanne doesn't push, he may just wind up going nowhere.
Which is better than going down, or backwards, or…whatever direction is worse. Where he is now seems much better than where he used to be. It's just that where Megamind is right now sounds like it also sucks, and Roxanne would like for him to be content at the very least, instead of just…wanting to be happy but not knowing how to learn.
She bites her lip and picks up her phone.
Megamind wakes up feeling unexpectedly better. Less strung-out, less like a worn violin string waiting to snap. Steadier. He opens his eyes, inhales, exhales.
And. The old tangle of confused thoughts has ebbed somewhat, and Megamind pauses to maybe address it—
—and finds that at some point while he was sleeping, have to try folded in on itself and is now circling around as
want to try
Which is something Megamind feels much more comfortable working with, really. That's a good sign, he's pretty sure.
He—and he still has his old papers, right? Plans and sketches, notes he scribbled ages ago, back in school when he was bored or in detention—which was always, so there certainly were a lot of them. He could take a look at those. Maybe there's something useful, there? Something hopeful, from before he committed to all this? He'll go see.
Green energy, he thinks. Stabilize the arctic—he can re-freeze the ice caps with a satellite array—freeze rays instead of death rays—ice beams—could he? He could do that; who's going to stop him? Sustainability will take longer, of course, making sure things can't get so bad again will be hellishly complicated, but Megamind can at least make sure the immediate problem is addressed before he tackles the source of the issue.
He still feels a residual twist of oh no when he goes to pick up his phone, but no, no, it's okay. It's all okay. He and Roxanne are friends again; she came back.
More than friends. He feels himself flush at the memory of her body against his, the heat of her mouth, her touch on his skin. Running her hands over his head. She can't—she can't really have enjoyed that, can she? She didn't seem to mind it.
He sighs and unlocks his phone, perches on the edge of his bed.
Oh, that's…many texts, mostly in the first couple of days after their fight.
Hey. I'm sorry about last night. I said some things I didn't mean, can we talk?
You have every right to be upset but I am so sorry and I really would like to talk to you
Megamind please don't freeze me out like this please just text me back
I know I said I didn't want you in my life but I was wrong. I wasn't thinking and I shouldn't have said that. It was mean and it wasn't true, please text me
Me again. Take all the time you need, I'll try and leave you alone.
I miss you. I'm sorry.
Then a couple of pictures, sent earlier today while Megamind was asleep: Minion holding Derya and both of them beaming at each other, and Megamind in his favorite chair, tipped back and napping with Derya asleep on his chest.
I love you. And maybe this sounds cheesy, but I really do believe in you. You're the most incredible person I've ever known and I am so, so lucky to know you. We can do this, okay? We'll figure this out, I promise. Love you forever but we'll take it one step at a time.
Megamind sits on his bed and stares down at his phone, at the proof of her there in front of him. The photos are nice, as is the text telling him she believes in him, but for a moment he has to just sit and reel at—she wanted to talk to him. She never stopped caring, she—reached out, apologized—repeatedly, as though it was entirely her fault, even though it wasn't, he knows it wasn't—she—thought he didn't want to talk to her—
He swallows hard and takes a deep breath. I love you, too, he texts back. Thank you for helping me with this.
He waits for a moment, then, thinking. And then he sends, I have some old papers I want to look through before I talk to Wayne tomorrow. Could use some company. Can I come over?
His phone pings with a text alert before he finishes putting his clothes back on. Of course! Would love to see you!
He smiles.
He's—still very much adrift in all this—but he and Minion aren't alone, anymore. That's going to make such a difference, he can tell. They have friends, now. Megamind went to them when he was injured and half out of his mind and they helped him, didn't hurt him, treated him gently and let him sleep in their home. And he has a girlfriend, too, someone who loves him.
Loves him.
I love you, Megamind, please let me kiss you—
He touches his lips for a moment, feels them curve into a small smile.
She loves him and she was sorry and she said the fight wasn't entirely his fault and Megamind hasn't lost everything, hasn't lost anything, and the relief of that honestly takes his breath away for a moment. Megamind is going to kiss Roxanne so hard when he sees her.
It's going to be complicated. Megamind knows this. It's going to be complicated and difficult, probably in ways he doesn't expect. But he's going to make it work. He wants a future and he wants to live and he doesn't have to fight until he dies, and he is going to build that future and make sure it's the last thing he ever does. He's going to—he's going to watch Derya learn to walk. He'll teach her to read. He'll pick her up from school if her parents are working and she needs a ride. He'll help her with her homework. And he'll see her graduate, someday, if she wants to. He will.
He gets to his feet. Stretches. "Okay," he murmurs, and shrugs back into his shirt.
