Chapter 3:

Jeff decided to take a small sabbatical while taking classes. Not so much to focus on his studies, but more so to placate his laziness. Besides, he had nearly 200 hours of PTO and his savings would cover the rest, so it wasn't a huge deal to him. Hell, this could almost be a three month vacation if he played his cards right. Plus he was in way better shape and significantly better looking now, so who knew what kind of national lampoonery could be in his future. Also: college chicks. He deserved to truly experience his college days. Again.

He locked his Lexus in the parking lot, sauntering across the campus with a single spiral notebook and a pen in his pocket, slurping a giant Diet Coke from 7-11. He had genuinely wanted coffee but didn't want to give anyone the impression he was trying to be alert enough to care. He slid off his sunglasses once in the main building and pulled out his phone to look at his minimalist schedule. Today and Wednesday he had psychology of sex, and tomorrow and Thursday he had criminal psychology. He was thrilled to be able go home for a nap before 1pm.

He smiled to himself and ran directly into a small bald man, nearly dropping all three things in his hands.

"Hey, let's watch where we're- Oh. Um, hello." He looked Jeff up and down, slowly, causing him to scrunch his face up in distaste. "My name is Craig Pelton. I'm the dean here at Greendale, you must be a new student. Would you like some help finding your classes?"

"Uh, sure." Jeff said, eyeing him wearily and shifting his belongings in his arm. "I'm looking for EH113?"

"Oh yes, yes, East Hall," the dean slipped his hand through Jeff's arm and began leading him away. "Taking psychology, are we?"

"Uh, yeah." He replied- quickly untangling his arm. "Color me confused, but why are we heading west if we are going to 'East Hall'?"

"Oh what's in a name," the dean chuckled, playfully touching Jeff's arm again. "But honestly none of the buildings make much sense, but so far it hasn't been overly confusing."

"Great." Jeff scoffed, scanning the hall, hoping to catch sight of literally anyone that could drag him away from the dean.

"Oop! Here we are, 113!" The dean smiled, pausing at the door. "Now Mr...?"

"Winger," Jeff said, grabbing the door and yanking it open. "I'll see you around, Dean."

"Ohhh." The dean smiled as Jeff slipped into the classroom. "I do hope."

Jeff sighed deeply before taking a swig of his soda. He scanned the room, almost knowingly looking at the front of the rows of seats, for Annie. His face relaxed and he smiled as his eyes met hers and she gave a small wave, motioning him to what he assumed was her group.

"Hey Jeff, you made it into the class!" She smiled and turned to her friends, "Guys, this is Jeff- the regular at my store-"

"We know." Two young looking guys chirped in chorus. "Hi, I'm Troy, and this is Abed."

The slender man gave a quick nod, his eyes vacant of any emotion, "We're her roommates."

Jeff gave Annie a knowing look, recalling the massive fraps she'd taken home on a number of occasions. She smiled and rolled her eyes slightly before pointing at the woman next to her, "This is Shirley."

"A pleasure," she squealed, smiling brightly, but her smile faded almost instantly as she shot Annie a look, causing her to blush and clear her throat, "And you already... know... Britta."

"Ah yes, how ya doin', 8 shot?"

"We meet again, toolbox."

"Wow, that's a new one."

They were interrupted by an older man sitting behind Troy, "Why does no one ever introduce me?!"

Everyone rolled their eyes simultaneously and Annie turned to glare at him, "Pierce, just wait your turn and we will! You're sitting in the back, you did this to yourself."

"Not true. Britta told me I couldn't sit behind her."

"Because when you fall asleep you snore AND drool!" She snarled crossing her arms over her chest.

"I do not!"

"It doesn't matter!"

"Guys, are we gonna ask Jeff to sit with us, or just let him stand there?"

"Ah, Troy, good lookin' out." Jeff flashed him a winning smile and made his way offer a fist bump as he sat beside him, and unfortunately behind Britta. "Don't worry, I don't snore."

Britta scowled over her shoulder, "Still drool though, don't you Neanderthal."

"I'm slightly more evolved, thank you."

"So a homosexual?" Pierce asked, in a tone that one might assume was ... serious?

"Pierce!" They all groaned. Annie shot the old man a look, "It's homo sapien."

"That's what I said!"

"But not what you meant." Abed said, pulling his book out. "I hope this class is good. I missed out on Pulp Nonfiction: A Screen Shot of Screen Play for this. I'll have to wait til next year, it's only offered in the fall."

"I thought you said that class was full?"

"It didn't have to be." He replied darkly, staring straight ahead as the rest of the students settled in and a tall, well dressed older woman walked in, setting her briefcase on the desk.

"Good morning, class. I'm Dr. Kingsley, I'll be leading you through the marvelous journey of the psychology of sexual behavior. A few key points, I take attendance four times a semester at random and attendance is 10% of your grade. For those of you that aren't very good at math, miss two classes and you'll drop a full letter grade. This is a predominantly participation-based course, so if I remember your name at the end of the semester chances are you'll be getting an A or you'll be retaking my class next semester. There is no required textbook, but I do often reference The Psychology of Sex and Love, written by me. It's 40$ on my website and for some reason 19$ on Amazon. Due to enjoying royalties and only being paid pennies to work here, it's extra credit if you purchase it within the first two weeks, just bring it in to show me."

She sighed deeply and smiled tiredly as she looked around the room, "Any questions so far?"

Annie's hand shot up quickly, but Dr. Kingsley nodded at someone behind her. "Yes Mr...?"

"Hawthorne, Pierce Hawthorne, of Hawthorne Wipes. Will there be, uh, extra credit for practical use of the psychology of sex later tonight, perhaps after dinner?"

The entire class turned to look incredulously at the old man, who sat stoically and slightly shrugged his shoulders, "it's a perfectly reasonable question given the subject material."

"Okay, any actual questions?" Dr. Kingsley looked at Annie, eyebrow raised.

"Hi, Annie Edison, will there be a syllabus provided online and will it have links to purchase your book?"

"Excellent questions; no and no. But I do have a paper copy and the title of the book is on there. I trust you all know how to use google?"

The class murmured in agreement and Dr. Kingsley passed the syllabus to the students in the front row, "Pass them back."

Jeff sank a little lower into his chair as he skimmed the syllabus. This wasn't going to be the smooth ride Duncan told him it was going to be, that son of a bitch.

"By Wednesday please make sure you've gotten the number of another student. This student will be your accountability partner and also will help you if you ever have to miss a class. As for today, I'm pretty much done. I try not to get too overwhelming right away. "

Jeff and Britta scoffed simultaneously, to which Dr. Kingsley raised an eyebrow but said nothing. "Grab a classmate's number and I'll see you here on Wednesday."

The class started shuffling and stirring, a couple people started chatting to each other as the study group all turned to face each other.

"Well," Annie smiled (mostly at Jeff, he thought), "We all already have each other's number, what's yours so we can add you to the group chat?"

"We're adding him to the group chat?" Britta scoffed, "We didn't vote on this."

Jeff ignored her and turned to Troy and Abed, who were looking at him skeptically. "Pulp Fiction or Kill Bill; and why?"

"Kill Bill, because Ninjas!" Troy exclaimed as Abed looked up in thought. The slender man turned back and started in, "while Kill Bill is more accepted as mainstream media, Pulp Fiction paved the way and really helped springboard Uma Thurman's career. Also, Pulp Fiction's cultural impact has withstood the test of time and left us with a cult following, also solidify Tarantino's later success. So, I'd say Pulp Fiction."

"Wonderful." Jeff smiled, then turning to Pierce, "Scotch, wine, or whiskey?"

"It depends, I suppose, on who you're intending to woo."

"Well, I'm a scotch man myself. And, Shirley, right?" He turned back to the front and smiled at her, "I couldn't help but notice that your binder has a brownie recipe printed on the front. Do you bake often?"

"Oh yes," she nodded, clutching her purse. "I'm here to get my business degree so I can open my own cafe and bakery. I'll call it 'Holy Grounds'."

"That is both clever and inviting. I've really enjoyed getting to know you all and would like to get to know you so much better, but I also definitely understand the group dynamic needs to be protected, so if you need to take a vote I understand and absolutely respect that."

The group was quiet momentarily, looking between Jeff and Britta before erupting in some resounding "no!"s and "who needs a vote?" "We can always use more friends" and "I love a good single malt". Annie smiled almost shyly as Britta rolled her eyes. "Fine. But I'm still not going to like you."

"That's okay. And for what it's worth, I'm sorry you were offended by my joke at your expense."

"Thank yo- wait."

"Anyway, my number is (555) 836-4266. Feel free to text me your names."

"Have you ever noticed so many numbers start with 555?" Abed said to no one in particular. "I hate it."

. . . . . . . . .

As the study group left the classroom, Jeff turned away from them, promising to meet them in their study room in the library at noon, and reassuring Abed several times he did not need to send him the location as he was very certain he could read the little map that came in his welcome packet (he also was sure if he was lost that a certain Dean would not be too far away to direct him). He was quickly making pace to a certain professor's office, as he had an absolute bone to pick with him.

"Come on in!" A muffled but distinctly British voice called out through the door as Jeff knocked. He quickly opened the door and dragged a wooden chair to the other side of Duncan's desk, shooting daggers at the mild-mannered man before sitting down and crossing his leg over his knee almost too nonchalantly.

"Ah Jeff! How are you finding your first day? Already been to class?"

"Yeah, actually, and about that… Do you actually hate me, or do you just enjoy seeing good looking people be miserable?"

"Oh tut, Jeff!" Duncan laughed leaning back into his chair. "I'm English, I like seeing everyone be miserable, regardless of their physical attractiveness."

"You're such a dick." Jeff scowled, leaning forward and tossing his syllabus on the desk. "You said Kingsley's classes were easy."

"I believe what I said, Jeff, is that she just likes engaging in conversation. Very few tests, only one paper, doesn't take attendance, ect."

"Well, Professor, she DOES take attendance, at random, and it's ten percent of our grade."

Duncan raised his eyebrows, not so much in surprise, but more in concern. He grabbed the syllabus and looked it over, giving a low whistle while he shook his head. "Oh, she must have taken that summer break up much harder than I imagined."

"She wasn't…" Jeff stared at him, bewildered and slightly disturbed. "She wasn't dating you, was she?"

"God no!" Duncan laughed, deep and heartily, tossing the papers back to Jeff. "I'm an American four, and she is clearly an eight. You can't take that significant a step down, even for someone with a charming, exotic accent."

"Okay, number one, this is the first time I've ever agreed with you, but two, I don't know who lied to you and told you that your accent was charming or exotic."

"Oh Winger, you know just how to butter me up." Duncan smiled maliciously and turned back to the papers scattered along his desk. "Now did you need something else, or did you just come in here to complain about having to actually do work in school?"

Jeff grumbled and stood up as someone else knocked at the door, grabbing his syllabus dejectedly. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow."

"Come in!" Duncan called before returning his attention to Jeff. "Yes, you shall. Would you like my syllabus now so you can come prepared?"

Jeff scoffed as someone ran past him, "I would professor, that's actually why I stopped by!"

"Ah Miss Edison." Duncan smiled, handing her a packet. "Always thinking ahead."

She beamed and turned to Jeff, "Are you here to get your criminal psych packet too?"

"Something like that." He grumbled, leering at the additional packet Duncan was holding up smugly.

"I'll see both of you tomorrow. Have an excellent first day."

Annie beamed and Jeff swore he could hear a small squeak of excitement come out of her pores. They turned and left the office together (Jeff turning to ask, "If you're an American Four, am I a British 13?" To which Duncan scowled, before exiting the door), and that was the first time Jeff really took stock of his non-baristing barista friend. She looked… Really different, to say the least. Her hair was down, and she wore a dress and ballet flats, minimal makeup. She looked… Studious? He didn't know if there was another word for it, but he wondered if she tailored her look to whatever social setting she found herself in.

"It's weird seeing you outside of work." She said, almost bashfully, walking faster to stay in step with him. He quickly noticed and slowed his pace slightly, giving her a nod, "I definitely agree. You look… different."

"Different?"

"Not bad, just so much less GREEN."

She chuckled, "Yeah losing the apron actually does wonders for me."

He smiled, noticing that her eyes were definitely bluer (if that was possible) against the muted fall colors she was currently sporting. "I dunno… It definitely is a stand-out color."

"Well, I definitely feel more myself without it. And look at you, I didn't know it was possible for you to get dressed without throwing on a sport coat."

"Well," He smirked, looking down at his pale blue button down (that all girls LOVED) and his new Levi's and rustic boots, "I couldn't slay 'em all with a suit on the first day, could I?"

"I imagine not. Where are you headed, since we have extra time with class getting out early?"

"Uh, honestly I was gonna head home. Days of Our Lives is on, and I haven't seen that in about 22 years."

Annie looked up at him quizzically, furrowing her brow as she shifted her books in her arms, "So you're not going to come to the study group?"

"Do you actually think I'm going to watch Days of Our Lives?"

"I don't know what people do when they have free time, Jeff. I've literally never experienced it."

He frowned and gently grabbed her elbow, slowing her to a stop at one of the doors leading out of the building, "Do you really always have something to do?"

"To do, to read, to study, to clean… you get the picture." She smiled, but her eyes gave her away. She really hadn't ever taken a break. She probably didn't know how. Jeff wondered how long she'd been taking care of everyone but herself before he sighed and looked at his watch, "Uh, we have like 45 minutes before we're supposed to meet up with the others, right?"

She nodded and he pulled her towards the door, "Great, let's go."

"Where?"

"Who cares. You hungry?

"No."

"Thirsty?"

"Uh-"

"Anxious?" He smiled. "Come on, we can go to Starbucks or Duncan Donuts or something. That diet coke was flat anyway."

"Oh, you're going to indulge in some extra calories today, huh?"

"I mean I am in college, now is the time before my metabolism goes." He smirked at her as they arrived at his Lexus, and as he unlocked the car she frowned at him, "This is a faculty spot."

"Yeah, well," He slid in and tapped the faculty placard hanging from his rearview mirror, "Duncan's car doesn't have locks."

"Wow." She narrowed her eyes at him, and he faintly registered some concern that she might be viewing him differently than he wanted her to. Was she likely correct in her perception? Of course she was. Did he like it? Absolutely not. "Think of it as a harmless prank. Again, Duncan is my friend."

"Hmm." She raised an eyebrow and buckled herself in. "Which is why you looked SO happy in his office."

"Well." Jeff started the car and scowled. "He also played a much less fun prank on me."

. . . . . . .

Jeff couldn't help but stare at Annie as she looked up at the menu board at The Grind, the little hipster coffeeshop they found themselves in. The charm and effortless conversation she displayed at work was replaced by an intensity that he couldn't quite describe. It wasn't bad, just different, and he wondered if this was the case with everyone who worked in the service industry (it definitely was).

"Earth to Jeff? Hello?"

"Huh?"

"I thought you were a lawyer, not an astronaut." She huffed with a smile. "Do you know what you want? We have to get back for study group in 20 minutes."

"Annie, the whole point of this exercise was for you to relax. This is free time."

"I don't much care for it. There are other things I could be doing."

He smiled at her and looked up at the board, "Know what you want? It's on me, since I dragged you out into the big bad world of freedom."

She smiled at him mischievously, "Yeah, go ahead, then I'll make up my mind."

Jeff nodded to the sullen looking barista and went with his typical hazelnut americano, stepping aside so that Annie could place her order.

"I'll have a small white mocha, nonfat, yes whip; two medium chocolate chip blend…ers?; a medium iced vanilla latte, soy or almond whichever you have; a large two sugar light nonfat decaf, and a large quad shot latte, again, whichever alternative milk you have."

"Cool." He sighed, punching everything in as Jeff stared at her slack jawed. "It'll be $31.25."

Annie smiled innocently up at Jeff, "Thanks so much, m'lord. The study group will forever be in your debt."

He smiled tightly, and said through gritted teeth, "Any time, m'lady."

. . . . . .

They returned to the group, albeit a few minutes late. But all was forgiven when Annie's friends saw them carrying in goodies to account for their tardiness.

"Oh, you guys went to that fancy shop down the street!" Shirley said excitedly, sipping her vanilla latte. "Annie if you had told me I would have been more than happy to chaperone your little adventure."

Jeff raised an eyebrow but neglected to say anything as Annie passed out the drinks, "Please Shirley, Jeff just wanted to make a good impression on all of you and asked if he could get our study session started off with some caffeine."

"Could only splurge for a quad, huh?" Britta rolled her eyes, still sucking her latte down through her plastic straw.

"It was nice of Jeff to bring anything, Britta." Shirley scolded her with a heavy glare. Pierce opened his coffee and seemed disappointed. "Why don't I ever get fancy drinks?"

"Because, Pierce, you fart when you have dairy." Troy rolled his eyes and took a sip of his calorie monster, giving Abed a signature high five as they both approved.

"That's ridiculous." Pierce whined softly. "I'll fart no matter what I drink."

The group groaned as everyone settled into place, then all, almost at once, turned to look at Jeff. He smiled nervously and his eyes widened slightly, suddenly hyper aware of himself now that so many people were focused on him (which, in any other circumstance would not only be vaguely normal, but possibly even desired). In this case he was unsettled.

"So uh…"

"Why are you here, Jeff?" Abed broke the ice in his typical, blunt fashion. "Annie told us you were a lawyer."

"Oh, Annie told you that, huh?" He shot her a look and she blushed, attempting to look busy setting up her notebooks and pens. "I am a lawyer."

"So again," Troy paused for a deep slurp. "Why are you here?"

"I'm here to finish my psychology degree to get a raise and promotion at my firm. It may work, it may not, but it's only a semester and at the end of it I walk out with a degree so it can't really hurt."

"Oh!" Shirley cooed, smiling again. "Ambitious."

"You could say." He smiled, giving her a small wink. "Now… Was anyone else a little… overwhelmed back there?"

Britta scoffed, "Overwhelmed? By what?"

"Uh, the structure of the class?"

"To be honest, I wasn't paying attention. I tend to just go along."

"Don't worry Troy, I understand enough for the both of us."

Another signature high five.

"It'll be fine, Jeffrey." Pierce nodded at the others in the group. "We've gotten through three years together; we always help each other out."

"Some of us more than others." Annie said under her breath, eliciting a smile from Jeff, which in turn elicited a glare from Shirley.

"Anyway," Britta interjected, "It's gonna be fine. We can meet here at noon after class, study for an hour then have lunch. Sound okay to you, Mr. Prosecutor?"

"I'm a defense attorney."

Shirley made what could only be a judgmental sound and looked to the heavens while Pierce leaned forward, intrigued, "Civil Litigation?"

"As often as possible."

"Maybe I should get your card."


A/N: This one is much longer! I hope you all enjoy :)