A/N: So, it has been 4 years since my last story but I'm back. Hope you enjoy it. It relates to 8x22.
"Forgive sounds good, Forget I'm not sure I could. They say time heals everything but I'm still waiting."
The feeling of the blood trickling down my stomach still haunts me. That noise of a bullet exiting a chamber, echoes in my dreams. The sticky warmth of the blood pulsing out of the wound lingers. I'd been shot before in the chest, that hot burning sensation was all but familiar to me.
I'd managed to shoot him dead before my injury overcame me. I dropped to my knees, my body meeting the cold wooden floor of the kitchen. I glanced back at him just to make sure he would never be making a move again. The searing pain in my abdomen increasing with every second that passed. I knew I had to make my way over to my injured husband. I gritted my teeth together and began the slow torturous movement of edging my way over to him. After what felt like hours of shuffling, I reached out for his hand. The moment I felt his clammy, cold to touch fingers intertwine with mine was pure bliss. I squeezed his fingers so tight that I'm sure I'd cut of any circulation that he still had in them.
The wait for everyone to arrive seemed to drag in, however the boys later told me it was just mere minutes before they got there. After realising that Castle had stopped rambling followed by the sound of a gunshot, I had speed dialled Ryan and Esposito. They had heard the whole exchange including the gunshots, they had made their way straight over. As Espo drove way over the legal speed limit Ryan had phoned for the other services.
As I lay there on the floor, the cold seeping into my bones I began to feel sleepy. I was awoken by the noise of the door frame splintering and cracking as the boys kicked it in. It was quickly followed by footsteps and shouts as people appeared in the kitchen. As the paramedics crowded us my grip on Castles hand was lost.
"Tell me he is, okay?" is the only thing I could rasp out, my voice faltering with the blood loss and pain. "We need to focus on you right now" is the only response I received as orders were barked out to colleagues. As pressure was applied to my wound I let out a mortal cry as the pain increased ten fold. Soon I was packaged up, pain relief flooded into my veins as I was moved towards the lifts. I caught a flash of Ryan's face as we went passed, he looked a combination of panicked, worried and angry.
The next few days are all but a blur of pain with a heavy drug haze interwoven. Castle had surgery to remove the bullet that had pierced his rib caged and deflated his right lung. I leant after that it had been touch and go for a while. Alexis and Martha never leaving his side or mine for that matter. My bullet had been a through and through, it missed every vital organ and blood vessels in my abdomen. My father and my doctors called it a bloody miracle. The horrendous pain of torn flesh front and back didn't really feel like a miracle to me though, it hurt so much. The boys had managed to apparently persuade the hospital management that Castle and I should have a double private room together. They both kept a 24 hour vigil of the door, both convinced that the horror of the last few years wasn't really over.
This was the memory that had woke me up in the middle of the night, sitting me up bolt upright in the bed. A sheen layer of sweat covering my whole body. My breath catching in my lungs as the panic completely took over me. A rustling noise next to me shakes me from the horror. The warmth of a hand rubbing my lower back seeps through my thin cotton nightshirt.
"It's okay, we're okay" are the words that Castle repeats to me over and over again in his soothing voice. I feel a sob erupt from my chest cavity and up through my mouth. Tears trickle down my cheeks as he pulls me into his arms. He is now sitting up next to me; I feel my head crash into his warm inviting bare chest. His head is resting on top of mine as he repeats a mantra over and over again. "It's just a memory, we are both okay it's over now" this simple phrase helps my body relax the sobs and shaking begin to ease. I pull back slightly so I can run my hand across his chilled face, my hand comes to a rest on his cheek. I stare into his beautiful blue orbs a feeling serenity overcoming me. He pulls me into a sweet kiss, he knows I'm back in the room completely with him. He slowly tugs me as he lays us back down into the mattress, I turn and snuggle up to his side my head on his chest. My hand runs over the long scar that puckers his skin in the middle of his chest. I make swirling patterns tracing the outline. He kisses my forehead and we eventually settle back into a blissful sleep. Hopefully this nightmare won't come back tonight but I know it will be back to haunt my memories.
"Lights will guide you home & ignite your bones and I will try to fix you."
A/N Thanks for reading. Please like and review and I will promise to keep writing. Its been to long.
